WTF is on my Mind?!
Author, Speaker, Whistleblower and award-winning Director Mark Vicente was behind the sleeper hit “What The Bleep Do We Know?!” Several books have been written about the film’s remarkable grassroots marketing campaign, which led to its unprecedented success. Mark was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1965. Taking his first photograph at age four, he quickly discovered his passion for being behind the camera. After attending film and drama school in South Africa, he began working his way up the ranks of the camera department, from Assistant to Operator to Cinematographer. His first big break came as Director of Photography on the musical “SARAFINA,” starring Whoopi Goldberg. In 1992, he set his sights on Hollywood and relocated to Los Angeles to shoot his first studio picture for Disney; “FATHERHOOD,” starring Patrick Swayze and Halle Berry. At the age of 26, he became one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a big-budget studio picture. Over the next few decades, he went on to shoot an additional 14 feature films and numerous documentaries, music videos and commercials. Mark soon found there were in him, untold stories he desperately wanted to express as a Director. He was driven by the conviction that tales of greatness, nobility and introspection could be exciting and financially successful. Perhaps because of the very obvious race and class iniquities in South Africa, he found himself propelled to question certain fundamental assumptions at a very young age. Beliefs about human behavior, cosmology, religion, existentialism and mysticism. Along the way, he stumbled into a few situations where leaders with malignant pathologies (masquerading as saintly philosophers) spoke the talk of self-improvement but did untold damage to their followers... and him. Looking back, he can now say he has been in at least two cults. His last foray into personal growth and his defection from NXIVM was chronicled in the HBO series “The Vow”. Mark and a few plucky whistleblowers exposed the criminal activities of the organization, resulting in multiple arrests and indictments. He doesn’t consider himself a cult expert, but by his own admission, “I’m an expert in being screwed over, waking up, and knowing how to spot them.” He’s got a pretty salty approach to most things and is fascinated by the myriad patterns in the human psychodynamic that create the best and the worst in civilization. Join Mark as he unpacks a whole range of topics to do with: Psychology, Consciousness, Morality, Narcissistic Abuse, Spirituality, Cults, Propaganda, Science, Filmmaking, and Philosophy.You never quite know what you’re going to get, as it really does depend on… WTF is on his mind?!
Episodes
What happens when you leave a cult—but the cult is still running a program in your mind?
In this episode, Mark Vicente sits down with author and trauma educator Richard Grannon to explore the long tail of coercive control. They talk about the psychological residue that lingers after you’ve exited—whether it’s from a high-control group, a toxic relationship, or a narcissistic parent.
They dive into:
• Why so m...
Episode Summary:
In this deeply intimate conversation, Mark sits down with his old friend Karen Unterreiner — a woman who spent four decades at the epicenter of what the world came to know as NXIVM. Once a high-ranking member, deeply entangled both professionally and personally with Keith Raniere, Karen shares her long journey of waking up from psychological captivity.
What does it mean to have your entire adult identity shaped by so...
Breaking the Spell — Motherhood, Escape & Reclaiming her Voice | Part 2
In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Bethany Joy Lenz — actor, singer, and author of Dinner for Vampires — continues her story of life inside a high-control religious group while navigating fame on One Tree Hill.
This episode picks up where we left off: unpacking the emotional, spiritual, and psychological cost of living under manipula...
Living Two Lives — Hollywood Fame & Hidden Cult Control | Part 1
“You can’t be human here.”
In Part 1 of this raw and revelatory conversation, One Tree Hill star Bethany Joy Lenz opens up about the decade she spent inside a high-control religious group — all while filming a hit TV show and hiding a double life.
We talk about:
- The slow creep of coercive control masked as faith
- The emotional...
This episode contains candid discussion about narcissistic abuse, psychopathy, high-control systems, workplace trauma, and cult dynamics. Please listen with care.
What if the charming, high-achieving leader at your company—or in your government—isn’t just a narcissist… but a full-blown corporate psychopath? In this revealing episode, I sit down with Dr. Cynthia Mathieu, a psychologist and professor who studies “dark leadership”—the ...
Guest: Jacob Skidmore (@TheNamelessNarcissist)
“People say narcissists wear a mask… I am the mask.”
Jacob Skidmore has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He’s one of the very few who talks about it—openly, unfiltered, and without a script.
In this raw and revealing conversation, we dive into the unsettling inner world of NPD: the chronic emptiness, the relentless need for admiration, t...
In this episode, Mark Vicente unpacks the concept of self-sealing systems — those airtight ideological loops used in cults, extreme religious groups, and even political tribes to block out dissent and lock members deeper into belief. Drawing from his own lived experience in NXIVM (aka ESP), Mark explains how these systems use circular logic, linguistic reframing, and fear-based conditioning to keep followers compliant and questioni...
In this expletive laden and unfiltered solo episode, Mark Vicente dives deep into the subtle, insidious ways abusive individuals and systems exploit our longing to grow, reflect, and “be better.” He explores the psychological unraveling that happens when introspection is hijacked to suppress personal agency.
Drawing from his lived experience in NXIVM, Mark unpacks how coercive groups often encourage relentless self-examina...
What happens when truth becomes your only option for survival?
In this unfiltered, emotionally honest conversation, filmmaker and whistleblower Mark Vicente sits down with Josh Connolly—a resilience coach and breathwork facilitator who’s spent over a decade helping people reconnect with their inner truth after trauma. Josh talks about growing up in a dysfunctional home, breaking out of addictive roles, and how society at l...
In this powerful and revealing episode, filmmaker Mark Vicente sits down with Dr. Karen Mitchell, founder of the Kalmor Institute and the author of one of the most groundbreaking PhD theses ever written on dark personalities.
https://kalmor.com.au/
https://x.com/karenmitchell__
Karen shares the results of decades of research and direct experience, unveiling a chilling but deeply important truth: narcissists, p...
In this solo episode, filmmaker and truth-seeker Mark Vicente shares what’s been stirring in his mind—from the deeply personal to the culturally explosive.
He starts with an exploration of dignity—what it is, why it matters, and how it’s the missing ingredient in many conversations about boundaries and self-respect. Through stories and personal insight, he dives into the internal work required to reclaim one’s worth, espec...
In this deeply insightful and unfiltered conversation, I speak with return guest Africa Brooke. Africa is a writer, speaker, and thought leader known for her work on self-censorship, self-sabotage, and personal transformation. The discussion explores the tension between speaking one’s truth and navigating societal pressures, tribalism, and ideological conformity. Africa and I challenge listeners to reflect on their beliefs, fears, ...
In this eye-opening episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, I sit down with Coach Liliya Labonte, a specialist in narcissistic abuse and healing, to uncover a rarely discussed topic: the female narcissist. Unlike their male counterparts, female narcissists operate in uniquely insidious ways, leaving many victims questioning their reality.
Together, we explore:
✔️ The key differences between male and female narcissists
✔️ T...
In this episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, I dive deep into Communal Narcissism—the most deceptive and dangerous form of narcissism. Unlike grandiose or covert narcissists, communal narcissists hide behind morality, altruism, and social justice, using a façade of selflessness to manipulate and control.
I break down:
- The three faces of narcissism: Grandiose, Covert, and Communal
- Why communal narcissists thrive in cults, reli...
In this episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, I explore the concept of ideological infection—the psychological trap where we become so emotionally attached to our beliefs, movements, or public figures that any challenge to them feels like a personal attack.
I break down why this happens, from cognitive biases like confirmation bias and motivated reasoning to the fight-or-flight response triggered when our worldview is questioned. I also d...
In this episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, I sit down with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, a licensed clinical psychologist and national expert in narcissistic abuse. We dive deep into the insidious nature of narcissistic relationships, the misconceptions surrounding narcissism, and what makes narcissistic abuse so earth-shattering for its victims. Dr. Z shares her insights on how to heal from narcissistic abuse, the playbook of narcissists, and...
In this episode: I explore the concept of suppression and how it affects us personally, in families, and on a societal scale. We explore how suppressing ideas, emotions, and beliefs can lead to fragmentation and toxicity. Drawing from personal insights, psychological observations, and real-world examples, I discuss the dangers of censorship, fear-based control, and the societal consequences of suppressing inconvenient truths.
- Su...
In this episode: I talk to two incredible women who are leading the charge to redefine how we think about and legislate consent—Joyce Short and Nina Lucas of the Consent Awareness Network, or CAN.
If Joyce Short gets her way, both “Yes Means Yes” and “No Means No” will be stricken from our laws. She is a sexual assault survivor and the author of 4 books that can turn our human right to consent into a civil right backed by law.
She...
In this episode: How my film, "What the Bleep Do We Know?!" led to a weird encounter with a clinical psychologist on a yacht. My eventual induction into NXIVM and my confusion about Keith Raniere's 'Sex Den'. I talk about death anxiety, power dynamics, and the behavior of leaders who claim to have achieved a higher state of consciousness yet engage in questionable practices.
The views and op...
What happens when the subconscious drags you back into the cult you’ve left behind? In this episode, I share a vivid dream where I was back in the cult—a surreal journey that left me reflecting and exploring the parallels between my dream and the troubling patterns I see in the world today. This episode isn’t just about a dream; it’s about what the dream represents. It’s about confronting the relationships between my cult experienc...
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