Helping.Mom
Army Vet returns home to care for aging mom. Creates podcast Helping.Mom to help caregivers care for aging parents. In 2023 Terry closed his successful restaurant in Texas to care for elderly mom back on their family farm in Indiana. What happened next, no one could have predicted. In this podcast Terry gives straight advice and heartfelt encouragement to fellow caregivers to love & serve their parents. You can also download his book "Beginnings" from Amazon. Terry is a disabled Army Veteran with 4 university degrees, proud dad to 5 daughters, who completed Harvard University Faith & Leadership program. His career includes Soldier, attorney, missionary, university professor, championship basketball coach, and Fortune 500. His restaurant was 2-X Best of Region. Terry is now FT medical guardian to his mom, and Veteran-owner of nonprofit PatriotPups.org, where he hand-raises AKC White German Shepherd puppies for military vets & other great families across USA. Please visit PatriotPups.org
Episodes
Take-Away: We SUBMIT and SING to SEEING God.
Please read Ephesians 5:19-21: 19 Speak to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20 Give thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21 Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
I like to say, Speak, See (God), and Serve.
Share your thoughts, call/text me 214...
“It’s one thing for a man to live in his mother’s house; it’s another for his mother to live in his house.” —Terry
There is much to hate about caregiving, maybe 93% of it?!? (jus kidn)
4 include: Emotionalism; Impact; Frustration, and: Feminization
Share your thoughts, call or text Amy-Vet/caregiver Terry at 214 304 9822
There are 3 phases, or stages, that care RECEIVERS go through:
I dont need you--I got this
I dont want you--you dont do anything right
I demand you-why arent you?
(maybe a 4th: I cant have you)
The greatest threat to caregivers is isolation
Caregiving isolates us--
physically from family, friends & positive social relationships
emotionally from care receiver
spiritually from God--Is THIS all there is? WHAT is the point?
The 3 primary causes of isolation:
Principles, ethics, morals, standards, expectations, spirituality
Pain
Plan-lessness leading to Panic
Cures for Caregiving Isolation:
humbly ask for help (contrast P...
The path to isolation is marked by 3 steps: 1) pain begins journey—usually words as talebearer that go deep. Isolation seems safe. 2). you take counsel of self (echo chamber), where your perspective + ideas seem best because unchecked. 3) if/when you do emerge conflict ensues—hence wars (see James) with others, or further retreat. The isolation pattern is born, like every rap star spitting out lyrics against “they”… if everyone is ...
The Caregiver’s Christmas Song
Each year at Christmas time a different hymn has special meaning to me. It’s lyrics, it’s melody, it's new singer or composition. This year is O Holy Night, for this is a caregiver’s hymn. I have streamed 75+ different singers & groups perform it this past week. It acurately captures 3 tenets of caregiving.
But do you know it’s fascinating history? Have you read the actual poem that gave rise to ...
The Pretty Feet of Caregivers -- What the strangest verse in Bible about feet has to do with caregivers, today on helping.mom
WHAT kind of feet do you have? Egyptian, Greek, Roman, Peasant, or Asian? Look at pic on google, then compare.
NOW, are your feet beautiful as caregiver?
Text: the strangest verse in Bible speaks of pretty feet…
In NT we are told this about caregiver feet:
Hebrews 12:13-15
And make straight paths for y...
Catholic dead-saint Anthony: Satan uses 3 things to trap us: regret for past; ingratitude for present, fear of future. I believe all three of these are at heart of bitterness, and describe perfectly modern American culture.
What to do when your mother gives you the middle finger. Bitterness in Caregiving.
Malice is at the core of bitterness and 4 other destructive (Eph 4:32) behaviors.
Bitterness is a root, and route. The root o...
On this the worst Thanksgiving Day of my life, still, we give thanks as caregivers.
1) Thankfulness is not an emotion. It is based on value and promise. You are valuable because God made you, because Christ died for your sins, because the Holy Spirit inhabit you, and because God will receive you. Your value is connected to his promise.
2) Thankful does not mean I am happy because of all the things I own in life. It means because t...
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There are 2 layers of caregiving, one masculine the other feminine. And we need both. Which are you?
The Book of Jude
First, the book or letter of Jude. If you are tired of fake formal religion, what some call Christianity in Golden Slippers, read this incredible small book, by Jesus’ half-brother (brother of James). In this letter Jude challenges real from fake faith, and tells believers to di...
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Who to hire to help you?
The difference between men and women is seen clearly when asking this question: what is the most important thing when hiring a helper for your mother?
The woman will say things like “she must be kind and generous and gracious and patient and loving and sweet and so forth." The man will respond "nonsense. Here is what she really must be: "
Someone who can take an ass c...
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Today we look at book by Messie Condo "Nobody Wants your [Stuff]". Please also listen to my own podcasts 32 and 33, for more info. Please also share your experiences, at info@helping.mom
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29 countries, 234 new cities now listening to helping.mom, including new friends below!
Mount Laurel, NJ
Oakland, CA
Helsinki, Finland
Kanasin, Yucatán
Rensselaer, IN (home of "Brian's Song" movie, and Speaker of US House of Reps Charlie Halleck)
West Lafayette, IN
My 6 goals of being caregiver for my mom:
Integrity--subjective, objective, character/competence/reliability
Context--par...
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Matthew 10:24-5
The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord. It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord.
So what does this mean? Who is He? What about Him are we to be like?
We cant be: Son of God, Saviour of World, Ruler of Heaven & Earth, Messiah, King, Judge, Creator....So how CAN we be "as him?"
We are to be caregivers
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The hardest thing to do in life is to remember God. He is gone like the morning dew in the desert of Yuma. He vanishes on way up, on way down, and in busy-ness in between. When is the last time you thought about God, for, say, more than 15-seconds straight?
What is is about caregiving that causes us to forget Him even more? Well, everything about caregiving causes us to forget Him.
A cure is P...
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Rejoice that God has given you this hard work, and He has qualified you for it.
Rejoice that His works are eternal, and your work is absorbed within His own.
Rejoice that crowns await you, fashioned by His hands to fit your head perfectly.
Rejoice your care receiver is alive, and you are here, responsible--serving.
Rejoice your kids see your example, and no one around you can argue against y...
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Questions every caregiver asks vs ONE we should ask
How long is it going to last?
What is the impact of this upon me—my ____?
What changes do I need to make to ___?
Do we have enough money?
Can I do this?
What if my CR ___falls, gets sick, vomits, loses mind, gets worse, becomes violent?
Am I going to have to change her diapers? (Or other awful fear)
HOW awful (not is) is this going to be?...
My take as Army Vet/caregiver: Charlie Kirk was a Cultural Caregiver to our nation, strengthening minds & hearts through speech, reason, & debate. He is why we have the 1st Amendment in our Constitution. He was murdered for his faith in Jesus Christ, and for taking the “leaven” of faith serious in his life & work. Let us as caregivers to our own loved ones serve them today in peace and hope and love—in light of the time...
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Matthew 8: 5-10
Elements of US Army (indeed, of all US Military) is same as our Caregiving:
MISSION
RECON
SITREP
RISK
PLAN
OPORD
COMMS
Hooah!
Send ideas to Info@helping.mom
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Make sure you Listen to end on this podcast.
4 Mental Images of Sameness dominate our thinking: Groundhog Day Movie, Prison Cells, Chinese Water Torture, and Mouse Wheels. But let us examine these more closely.
Is it sameness we dislike so much, or something deeper?
Whatever it is, really, how can we combat it?
Please listen and share your thoughts today, at info@helping.mom
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