So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur Kohli

We’ve all heard we need boundaries to protect our peace, but what does that really look like in collectivist cultures? In this episode, therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli challenges Western ideas of boundaries, unpacks common misconceptions, and explores what it means to go low or no contact with loved ones. We’ll hear real-life stories from people navigating boundary-setting in immigrant families – some successful, some not – and others w...

Do you feel guilty all the time? Or worry about abandoning where, and who, you come from? You’re not alone! Guilt is one of the main emotions therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli sees adult children of immigrants struggle with. In this episode, Sahaj unpacks the idea of immigrant guilt — how it differs from everyday guilt — and offers practical tools to help you navigate its complexities. She also explains what it really means to “sit with y...

What does duty mean to you? For many of us, especially children of immigrants, duty is complicated. It can look like showing up for loved ones (even when it’s inconvenient), preserving cultural traditions, or fulfilling unspoken expectations. Sometimes duty feels like love, gratitude, and pride. Other times, it carries the weight of pressure, guilt, and grief. In this episode, therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli helps us reflect on what we ...

In a recent Brown Girl Therapy poll, 85% of nearly 3,300 respondents said they think their parents are narcissistic. That’s…a lot! In this episode, we dig into why so many children of immigrants resonate with this label, and whether it's the right one. Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and author of High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy, joins Sahaj Kaur Kohli to break down what narc...

Intercultural and interracial relationships can be rewarding, difficult, messy — or all of the above. In this episode, Sahaj Kaur Kohli opens up about her love story as the first in her family to marry outside race, religion, and culture. We also hear deeply personal reflections from other children of immigrants who are navigating love, heartbreak, and identity across cultural and racial lines. Together, we confront hard truths —  ...

Family secrets can feel like a form of protection, or a source of deep isolation. We uncover the hidden truths and taboos around relationships, health and trauma that shape our immigrant families. We’ll even hear directly from you about discovering family members aren’t biologically related to you, or having to keep child abuse secretive. Therapist and author of Break the Cycle, Dr. Mariel Buqué joins Sahaj Kaur Kohli to unpack the...

Host and therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli has lived a double life as the daughter of Indian immigrants. Like many of you, she grew up walking the line between family expectations, her own needs, and the world outside. Now, she’s an expert in bicultural identity, advice columnist, and published author of But What Will People Say? – and she’s here to help you. We uncover why living between cultures feels a lot like living a double life, an...

Do you ever feel caught between the person you want to be and the person you’re expected to be? Do cultural expectations, family dynamics, and identity struggles leave you feeling torn? Do you feel like mainstream wellness messaging doesn’t quite speak to your unique experiences? 

Introducing, So We’ve Been Told, a bold, unapologetic podcast that explores the realities of living between cultures. Hosted by renowned therapist Sahaj ...