ADHD Realities

Everyone has an opinion about porn. Almost nobody is looking at the actual research.

In this episode I am doing what I do in my human sexuality classroom on day one — separating what we actually know from what we have simply been told, repeatedly and loudly, until it start...

This episode goes everywhere — but somehow still lands exactly where it needs to.

I sat down with Elle Stanger, AASECT certified sex educator and longtime sex worker, to talk about the massive cultural confusion surrounding sex work, sex trafficking, criminalization, and morality.

What unfolds is a chaotic, honest, ADHD-style conversation about:

• why society constantly conflates sex work with trafficking

• how criminalization ...

You've seen the posts: "Never date someone with ADHD" vs "ADHD is a superpower." Both sides are loud, both are pissed, and both are missing the point.

Most relationship research measures executive function, not love. And when we use neurotypical relationship standards to e...

If you've ever been told you're "lazy," "not trying hard enough," or "just lack discipline"... yeah, this one's for you.

I sat down with ADHD educator Kendall Delamont for a conversation about what ADHD really is and all the bullshit it's not. We're talking about why ADHD ...

In this episode of ADHD Realities, I’m unpacking why the way we talk about desire — especially in heterosexual relationships — has never sat right with me. For years, we’ve framed libido differences as “higher vs. lower drive,” quietly centering access instead of capacity, and calling it neutral. It isn’t.

We talk about what happens when desire gets mistaken for entitlement, why fluctuating desire (especially in women’s bodies) is ...

In this episode, I’m joined by Caitlin V, sex and relationship coach, researcher, and host of Good Sex, for a conversation that is giving male pleasure the nuance it deserves.

We unpack why so many men experience sex as pressure instead of pleasure and how performance anxiety shows up as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, or complete shutdown, often without anyone naming what’s happening.

This isn’t a...

“She has energy for everything else — just not for me.”

This episode unpacks one of the most common and damaging misunderstandings I see in relationships, especially when ADHD and autism are part of the picture.

We’re talking about why energy isn’t about effort, love, or priority, it’s about access, executive function load, and nervous system cost. And why, in heterosexual relationships, women are so often carrying the emotional an...

What happens when sex therapy is built for brains that don’t work like yours?

In this episode, I sit down with clinical sexologist, researcher, and former dissertation chair Dr. Erika Miley for an unfiltered, deeply nerdy, and very human conversation about ADHD, sexuality, and why so many people—especially cis women and AFAB individuals—are still being failed by the research and clinical models meant to help them.

We talk about the...

Every January, the world expects us to reinvent ourselves like we’re software updates — new routines, new habits, new personalities. But ADHD brains aren’t failing resolutions… resolutions are failing us.

In this Extra Hot, no-BS episode, I break down exactly why New Year’s resolutions collapse for ADHD minds (especially if you’re juggling work, parenting, sensory overload, or perimenopause chaos). We get into the science of execut...

Why are we still recycling 1800s pseudoscience about masturbation? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Eric Sprankle to unpack where these beliefs started, why they stubbornly survive, and how moral panic replaces real science. From fetal self-soothing to porn ‘addiction’ myths, to why ADHD brains often get misdiagnosed — we hit every uncomfortable truth with humor, clarity, and zero shame. More about Dr. Eric Sprankle: Dr. Eric ...

What if your “rotting brain” isn’t rotting at all — it’s regulating?

In this fiery, science meets sarcasm episode, Dr. Leann Borneman breaks down the viral panic around rot culture and doomscrolling — and explains why most of the research behind it was never designed for ADHD brains in the first place.

We’ll talk about:

• Why scrolling funny, happy, or comfort content isn’t “doomscrolling” (and why everyone’s using that term wr...

Why were we all labeled “too much” before we ever got a diagnosis? Let’s interrupt that story. This week, I sit down with Dr. Gilly Kahn — psychologist, mom, and author of Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women’s ADHD. We unpack the late diagnosis epidemic, the emotional toll of masking, rejection sensitivity, and how outdated diagnostic criteria still leave girls unseen. Gilly and I talk ab...

Is porn really rewiring your brain? Does masturbation harm relationships? Or are we caught in cultural shame scripts that make normal behaviors feel dangerous? In this episode, I unpack the research, from claims about erectile dysfunction and “porn addiction” to the ICD-11’s take on compulsive sexual behavior. Drawing from my clinical work with 100+ men, I explore how moral incongruence, secrecy, and ...

In Episode 25 of ADHD Realities, I sit down with the brilliant Lauren Elise Rogers—holistic sexuality educator and embodied intimacy coach—for one of the most raw, liberating conversations yet. We dig into how early scripts of shame shape women’s sexuality, why confidence in the bedroom is sexy as hell, and how unlearning old conditioning lets us reclaim play, curiosity, and real pleasure.

Lauren shares her own journey, the power o...

Ever been mid masturbation and thought, “Why am I analyzing this toy like a product review instead of actually enjoying myself?” Or maybe the opposite, you’re left wondering if your clit is broken because nothing’s happening.

In this episode of ADHD Realities, Dr. Leann Borneman dives into how vibrators interact with ADHD brains and sensory processing differences. From overstimulation (too sharp, too loud, too much) to understimula...

Erections, testosterone, fertility, penis size—men’s health is full of myths, shame, and bad TikTok advice. In this episode, I sit down with Urologist Dr. Justin Dubin to cut through the noise and get real about what’s actually going on with male sexual health.

We talk about why erectile dysfunction can be an early warning sign for bigger health issues, how testosterone really works (and what kills your sperm), what to know about P...

If you’re an ADHD mom wondering why everything feels louder, harder, and more exhausting lately, then this one’s for you.

In this episode, Dr. Leann Borneman gets real about the absolute chaos of motherhood with ADHD, and why the invisible labor, relentless demands, and sensory overload aren't just “part of the job”, they’re a setup for burnout. And if you’re also in perimenopause? Buckle up, because the hormonal shifts do mess wit...

What do you do when you realize you’re completely disconnected from your body, burned out, and expected to maintain a thriving sex life? In this episode, I sit down with psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author Dr. Kate Balestrieri to talk about her new book What Happened to My Sex Life?—a raw, real, and relatable exploration of desire, disconnection, resentment, and the slow road back to pleasure.

We talk about:

• How...

In this no-BS solo episode, I dive headfirst into the relationship narrative that’s wrecking ADHD partnerships... the idea that "if you cared, you'd just show it."

You probably do care. Your executive function is just struggling with the neurotypical expectations attached.

I break down why ADHD brains struggle with “prioritizing” in the ways neurotypical society expects by explaining the real role of executive function barriers, en...