Get Ready With God

We talk a lot about generational trauma. I want to talk about generational love and what it actually costs to build it.

Two years ago God saved me by asking me to do more. Today I got to find out if it worked.

I took away my own existential crisis privileges, and honestly it's going pretty well.

My ambition came back recently, and instead of feeling relieved, I felt guilty. Turns out there's a stage of grief nobody really talks about.

My official submission for a new faith campaign. 

A handwritten letter from one of the most faith-filled people I know reminded me that the person making you feel like you belong rarely knows they're doing it.

Turns out Jesus didn't follow consistent patterns, and what that means for how I'm learning to live my own life.

A churro, a daughter, and a reminder that the thing you're most self-conscious about might be exactly what someone else needs from you.

I share a newly articulated belief that's reshaping how I follow God: everything He asks of me is for my own good. Not because He needs something from me, but because He doesn't need anything at all. I unpack my past season of atheism, what I used to get wrong about jealousy and commandments, and why choosing this as a baseline assumption makes trust a whole lot easier.

I used to believe that following God meant things would eventually go the way I wanted. Then the worst years of my life happened while I was trying the hardest. This is what I learned about prayer, entitlement, and what it actually means to trust God when He does not give you the miracle you asked for.

I have seen this pattern wreck people in their careers. I have seen it wreck people in their faith. And I have done both. This episode is about the moment you stop demanding that God, or your religion, or your marriage, or your motherhood owe you something and start realizing the power you actually have to choose your own way.

This episode might not be for you. If you're already self-sacrificing to the point of destruction, skip this one. But I have to be honest about what has actually saved me, because I can't tell you anything different. Every time I've hit a breaking point and prayed to be rescued, the answer has been more. More service, more sacrifice. And it has worked every single time.

I spoke on unchangeable worth at a conference while privately struggling to feel my own. Then flew across the country to speak on grief with strangers and felt more at home than I did in my own city. It was a good reminder. The path God actually calls us to walk is not always the one people approve of. That's not evidence it's wrong. But there is a cost. And the only way through it is going back to the source.

I spent months waiting for God to tell me what to quit. Nothing came. So I just started quitting things, one by one, and the guidance showed up in the action. Not before it. Waiting on God can quietly become non-action, and black and white thinking about right and wrong can paralyze us completely. God trusts you. The question is whether you trust yourself.

Noah Kahn can articulate something without knowing how to fix it. So can I. Being able to name a feeling is not the same as having the answer, and I think we've been wrong about what counts as valuable. God rarely hands me a solution. He hands me creativity, relationships, experiences. We're not only here to solve for x. We're here to build the equation.