WTF Bible Stories Podcast
Hi, GeeSpot and Jada B Nutty welcome you to WTF Bible Stories. After 30+ years in the Christian faith, we've realized that the bible is full of trash ass stories. From Creation to the Revelations, we will read through the stories that were used to keep us in worship until we both woke and said wtf! Join us for the shenanigans and tomfoolery.
Episodes
In this episode we talk about Moses’ beginning. How God forgot his people for 400 years and tried to fix it by sending a man with a stutter to talk to Pharaoh. But before that, God wanted to give Moses a lil something to remember him by with the burning of his bush. Take your penicillin and join us in God Gives Moses the Clap.
In this episode we continue the story of dumb ass Samson. It gets dumber as the fantastical lies get wilder with fox tails, donkey jaws, and a free hair cut that blinds you. Tie up your scrunchies and join us in Temu Hercules part 2.
In this episode we talk about trash ass Samson. Strongest man or entitled brat? Clever riddles or dumb questions? God’s spirit or Holy dick? You get to decide as we dive into the fake mythology of the Temu Hercules.
In this episode love and fellatio are in the air with Ruth and Boaz. Ruthian ladies, do you want to know how to please your Boaz this Valentine's Day? Naomi got your back with her tutorial. So, sit back and relax your throat as we dive into The Art of Gak Gak (As Told by Mom Dukes)
In this episode we debark in after flood shenanigans, with god’s old ass trying to remember not to kill us again, Noah’s dumb ass getting righteously drunk, and Ham’s horny ass getting a piece of daddy. Let the rainbow flag remind you that God Killed Everybody…Now What?
In this episode we try to figure out how 40 days turned into 365 days of bullshit, how the female of each animal can be sacrificed and still populate the animal kingdom, how eight elderly people can make up the new world, and how God made a man righteous and evil at the same damn time. Scratch your head with us as we miscalculate the days of flood with math that ain't mathing.
In this episode we discuss the truth about how the flood happened. Ladies have pride and men recognize the power of the WAP. The angels knew and left God's ass for human tail. So, grab your scuba gear as we dive into WAP that caused a Tsunami.
In this episode we talk about the secret garden problems. Yes, a piece of fruit that caused knowledge, uterus pain, dirt eating, and God to become scared of his creation. Join us as we question the intelligence of God with Eve stealing from the knowledge tree.
In this episode we continue walking down the “green mile’ with the proclaimed messiah.
A messiah that was passed around like the unleavened bread on Passover; a messiah that needed a hand with his cross; a messiah that had a full conversation while simultaneously suffocating ....okay. Grab your tissues as we finally say so long, farewell, auf widersehen, goodnight toTha Kang.
In this episode we dive into the beginning of the end for Jesus. Jesus has to cash in on all the shit talking he did for three years. Now that his ass has to pay up, we explore how he begs daddy, not answer questions, and gets bitch slapped. Get your parade wave ready as we say goodbye to Tha Kang.
In this episode it’s time to celebrate a very special bastard, Jesus. Yes it’s Christmas time and we have a wild story for you. Almost everyone has heard of Jesus' birth, but no one has heard it quite like this. Get ready for virgins, magical seeds, and a Holy Bastard. Also stick around for a new Christmas song.
In this episode Jesus wants to get all warm and cuddly with his twelve mens. We discuss how he serviced them and gave instructions on how he wanted them to service him. Get your blankets and a partner because it’s cuffin season and Jesus has a special technique.
In this episode we talk about December's Man of the Year, Jesus, and his shenanigans. Jesus goes from stealing to not answering direct questions. Grab your cloaks, hop onto your nearest donkey-horse, and take this wild ride with Jesus Crazy Ass.
In this episode God invites you to his special Thanksgiving meal. Don’t be surprised if the food choices are not digestible. Just come as you are, and eat before you come. Please lower all expectations this Thanksgiving Holiday because God is hosting and you can be sure bullshit will be on the menu.
In this episode we discuss several scriptures that involve the eating of your offspring. Is pork too salty or is beef not good for your digestion? Is chicken just not satisfying enough, well God has the perfect meat, your baby. Join us as we prep for Thanksgiving with appetizing baby stew. This meal also comes with music so stick around.
In this episode we go to school and discuss how pick-me-boy Paul swindled churches out of their hard-earned coin. We outline six steps that will start you off as a successful pimp. Class is in session with Church Pimpin' 101 w St Paul.
In this episode we talk about the gross mistreatment of Hagar in Abram’s and Sarai’s home. Hagar ,an Egyptian slave, was SA’d by her master. Given to him by her mistress. This tale is not one of God’s man being proven righteous, but of God’s man being a predator and an abuser. Trigger warning for this episode. Say her name as we read Hagar’s Cry.
In this episode our guest continues with us as we read a second account of creation. And somehow it’s more trashy than the first one!! Come be as unimpressed as we are in Creation Magic (Second Verse so much Worse).
In this episode we have a guest to share in the tomfoolery and shenaigains with the 1st creation story. Ever wonder how we got here? Well buckle up butter cup because the fairy God mother is on her way with the details. Join us in the hocus pocus with creation magic Bippety Boppety Boop.
In this episode we continue our journey down undead lane ending at Lazarus' unnecessary “resurrection”. We dive into how Jesus acted like a complete bitch and was for the tomfoolery and shenanigans. Be razzled and a lil dazzled with The Lazarus Okie-Doke.
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