WTF Bible Stories Podcast
Hi, GeeSpot and Jada B Nutty welcome you to WTF Bible Stories. After 30+ years in the Christian faith, we've realized that the bible is full of trash ass stories. From Creation to the Revelations, we will read through the stories that were used to keep us in worship until we both woke and said wtf! Join us for the shenanigans and tomfoolery.
Episodes
In this episode we dive into the beginning of the end for Jesus. Jesus has to cash in on all the shit talking he did for three years. Now that his ass has to pay up, we explore how he begs daddy, not answer questions, and gets bitch slapped. Get your parade wave ready as we say goodbye to Tha Kang.
In this episode it’s time to celebrate a very special bastard, Jesus. Yes it’s Christmas time and we have a wild story for you. Almost everyone has heard of Jesus' birth, but no one has heard it quite like this. Get ready for virgins, magical seeds, and a Holy Bastard. Also stick around for a new Christmas song.
In this episode Jesus wants to get all warm and cuddly with his twelve mens. We discuss how he serviced them and gave instructions on how he wanted them to service him. Get your blankets and a partner because it’s cuffin season and Jesus has a special technique.
In this episode we talk about December's Man of the Year, Jesus, and his shenanigans. Jesus goes from stealing to not answering direct questions. Grab your cloaks, hop onto your nearest donkey-horse, and take this wild ride with Jesus Crazy Ass.
In this episode God invites you to his special Thanksgiving meal. Don’t be surprised if the food choices are not digestible. Just come as you are, and eat before you come. Please lower all expectations this Thanksgiving Holiday because God is hosting and you can be sure bullshit will be on the menu.
In this episode we discuss several scriptures that involve the eating of your offspring. Is pork too salty or is beef not good for your digestion? Is chicken just not satisfying enough, well God has the perfect meat, your baby. Join us as we prep for Thanksgiving with appetizing baby stew. This meal also comes with music so stick around.
In this episode we go to school and discuss how pick-me-boy Paul swindled churches out of their hard-earned coin. We outline six steps that will start you off as a successful pimp. Class is in session with Church Pimpin' 101 w St Paul.
In this episode we talk about the gross mistreatment of Hagar in Abram’s and Sarai’s home. Hagar ,an Egyptian slave, was SA’d by her master. Given to him by her mistress. This tale is not one of God’s man being proven righteous, but of God’s man being a predator and an abuser. Trigger warning for this episode. Say her name as we read Hagar’s Cry.
In this episode our guest continues with us as we read a second account of creation. And somehow it’s more trashy than the first one!! Come be as unimpressed as we are in Creation Magic (Second Verse so much Worse).
In this episode we have a guest to share in the tomfoolery and shenaigains with the 1st creation story. Ever wonder how we got here? Well buckle up butter cup because the fairy God mother is on her way with the details. Join us in the hocus pocus with creation magic Bippety Boppety Boop.
In this episode we continue our journey down undead lane ending at Lazarus' unnecessary “resurrection”. We dive into how Jesus acted like a complete bitch and was for the tomfoolery and shenanigans. Be razzled and a lil dazzled with The Lazarus Okie-Doke.
In this episode we talk about Zombies… Yes, the undead walking around like they living or something. Are you first wave or do you think you will survive when God resurrect people for no reason? Join us as we dive into three stories that will make you feel like you have walked into the Biblical Pet Sematary.
Trigger warning: This story outlines inappropriate behavior with a minor. We in no way condone grooming of a minor and/or sexual relations.
We are back with David's unholy grooming by Jonathan. Ew and ew some more. We get into daddy problems with Saul and unacceptable love confessions between a grown man and a minor. Be very disgusted as we dive into Age Ain't Nothing but a Number. Soul Bonding Ain't No...
Trigger warning: This story outlines inappropriate behavior with a minor. We in no way condone grooming of a minor and/or sexual relations.
In this episode David is thrust into a relationship with Saul’s son, God uses Saul to try and kill David, and foreskins are a hot commodity for marriage. Get really uncomfortable with Age Ain't Nothing but a Number. Soul Bonding Ain't Nothing but a Thang. Part 1
In this episode we continue David’s story and are caught up in a web of quite a few fantastical tales. From playing around with apex predators to single handedly taking down a giant. Be confused as we dive into the lies with Lions, Giants, and Bears...Bitch Where?
In this episode we talk about the 2nd King of Israel, David. Some may know him as a giant killer, others as a king that stayed true to God. We will tell you about a fallen king and a voyeur’s quest for young meat. Be very concerned about David’s Questionable Beginnings.
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