February 18, 2023 • 17 mins
OUTWEIGH: Do you feel guilty if you crave something? Well, this is your permission to stop that. You should never feel guilty for craving anything. Laura Lea Bryant is Amy’s guest today and she is all about normalizing cravings!! We need to learn to pay attention to our body and what it’s asking for. It’s also important to keep in mind that it’s natural for cravings to ebb and flow…especially if you’re dealing with heartache, grief, loss or stress. Laura Lea explains why we might be craving certain things depending on our situation/heartache + how cooking can be a part of the healing process! Amy shares that she doesn’t like to cook much, but she made soup (chili) the other day and it was surprisingly therapeutic for her…recipe linked below!
Creamy White Chicken Chili: https://www.halfbakedharvest.com/creamy-white-chicken-chili/
Laura Lea Bryant
Holistic Health and Heartache Consulting
www.llbalanced.com
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
To contact Amy about Outweigh: hello@outweighpodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out outweigh everything that I'm
made do, won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know who every part of me
It's beautiful. And then will always out with if you
(00:24):
feel it with your hands in the air, She'll some
love to the boom. There. Let's say good day and
time did you and die out? Happy Saturday? Outweigh Amy
here and my guest today is Lorley Bryant, who is
a holistic health and heartache consultant coach. How do you like?
(00:45):
What did you say that? Contay consultant? And you were
on four Things this week my four Things podcast on Thursday,
and we were talking about helping people heal from heart
ache and grief, whether it's through a breakup or a divorce,
or the loss of a loved one or job, even
(01:06):
something that you held tightly that suddenly is no longer
with you is very difficult. And I think sometimes when
we're in a process of grieving or heartache, we have
different cravings and we can end up trying to get
frustrated at those or pick those apart, or feeling defeated
(01:29):
if we quote unquote given to a craving and outweighs
is about just bringing comfort to people that might be
experiencing any thoughts like that. I don't assume everybody listening
right now is grieving, but you might be one day,
And this is information you could keep in your back pocket,
(01:50):
so that way, if something comes up and you do
have these thoughts, with these cravings, you can have this
as a tool or a resource to refer to. Yeah. Absolutely,
and thank you for having me. Yeah. It's interesting because
even if it's not grief, you know, stress or overwhelmed
can have a similar physiological response on our taste buds
and our appetite and digestion and all of that. And
(02:11):
I think we have this connotation that all cravings are bad.
But first, I think it's important to really normalize cravings
any time. Cravings are totally normal, and they're also especially
normal when you are in a difficult season of life.
So don't beat yourself up for having them, don't beat
yourself up for any decisions that you have been making.
(02:33):
You're doing your best. I am sure you're doing your best.
And with that said, we can take what feels like
a very out of control craving experience and really kind
of get control of it by understanding what is happening
with our cravings and the different kinds of cravings, and
then just consciously choosing what we want to do about it.
(02:56):
You know, I guess I should say sometimes you just
have to go for the craving itself, and that's okay,
but you want it ideally to be something you are
choosing for yourself, because that's empowering versus feeling like the
craving quote got the best of you. So well, that's
what leads to the spiral of then it's and it's
just this merry go round, right, you go in and
(03:18):
then you're you feel lost in it. But I I agree,
it's so empowering when you get to choose and you
get to almost feel proud, Yes I ate that, Yes,
and I feel great value or you can recognize, oh,
yes I ate that, and like I'm not feeling so great.
So then who you learned some information? It's true and
also it is also true that well to some extent,
(03:40):
especially if you have you know, let's say you are
insulin sensitive or you have an allergy or something. There
are certain foods that are probably not going to make
you feel great. You might have a blood sugar crash
and spike and crash um or might hurt your stomach.
But it is also worth noticing if you have let's
say one day you have the doughnut and then you
beat yourself up about it, how do physically feel versus
(04:01):
having the doughnut and being like that donut was awesome.
I enjoyed it and I'm going to go about my day.
How do you physically feel? And I tend to find
and there's research for this that you actually can physiologically
have a have a different response when you are just
enjoying it and allow your allowing yourself to be freaking
human like, it's part of the human experience, right, I mean,
(04:23):
cravings are largely how we are wired, wired for survival
to get things like sugar and fat really quickly into
our bodies. So so craving does not make you bad. No,
you said normalized cravings. Yeah, there's no moral assignment with food, guys,
Like ever, it's not a thing like there and there's
no wagon, there's no on the wagon, off the wagon,
(04:44):
Like we give food way too much power when we
when we kind of anthropomorphosized food and turn it into
this person that can do things to us and has qualities.
It's just food, and sometimes the most nourishing thing, like
I said, is to just have the donut. So going
back to initially, when we are under stress, overwhelmed, grief,
there are lots of different ways that we can have craving.
(05:06):
Some people tend to have more salt cravings, but I
would say the most common that people find is going
to be a combination of sugar and fat. It's probably
going to be the primary craving, you know, for things
like ice cream or just fast acting carbs essentially you know,
easily broken down simple carbohydrates and sugars. And that is
for a lot of different reasons. That can be because
(05:27):
you are going through major, major stress and so your
body is looking for sources of energy. Maybe you're not
sleeping as well, you're in fight or flights. You actually
need more energy, don't. Your body thinks it needs more
energy going to your blood and to your muscles to
prime you for this this difficult experience which is actually
happening internally, but our body is kind of respond to
(05:47):
it like we are about to go into a ring
and fight. So it's totally normal that you have these
cravings for sugar because your your body is looking for
that energy. Plus all of these stress hormones that are
coursing through your body, like adrenaline and cortisol. So first
of all, it's worth taking notes. Sometimes we don't know
that we're stressed until we notice what we're doing, the
(06:08):
decisions that we're making. So you may not even know
that you're stressed and overwhelmed, but all of a sudden,
you're sugar craving through through the roof, and then maybe
it's time to look and see is there a sort
of stress that I'm not even aware of. But again,
there's no judgment, there's no good, bad, or right or wrong.
It's just what serves you. So first, just understanding that
it's normal. It's natural for your cravings to ebb and flow.
(06:28):
It's normal to have them, it's normal to be obsessing
over them and thinking about them. I mean, one of
the other reasons when we're grieving that we have these
cravings for these hyper palatable foods, so you know, foods
that contain sodium, msg sugar, fat, all of that, these
hyper palatable foods is because it's a coping and numbing device. Again,
totally normal. You're not doing anything wrong. This is part
(06:51):
of the human experience of grieving, is that we we
look for ways to cope and numb and food that
has a quick reaction in our bodies, that that gives
us that hit of dope, but mean really quickly. Of
course you want that. Of course you do. You know,
like we all do. It's okay you you haven't. You
haven't made a mistake because you are biologically wired to
(07:11):
want to self soothe, and that's a really easy way
and a quick way to self soothe. Now, ultimately, if
we do that more than we put some nourishing foods
in our bodies, it's not going to help our healing
process long term. But I think the most important thing
is to understand that there are different types of cravings.
Ask yourself what type of craving this is, and then
(07:32):
again just consciously choose. That helps with such self awareness,
and I think awareness is so key, and it can
be the first step to unlocking so many things and
giving yourself that permission that it is okay that I'm
feeling this, it is okay that I am craving this,
and on Thursday's episode over on four things we we
talked about, You know, if you have lots of appetite,
(07:56):
So y'all can go back and listen to that episode
UM with Loreleie if you want to hear what's going
on with that and how I thought it was fascinating
in that episode when you shared that your body has
so many other things going on that it's worried about
that like it, you might not be hungry because it
doesn't really have time to digest anything. It's busy. You
(08:17):
have other heartache and other things that it's tending to.
So everybody's body responds in such a different way. So
I think another thing too, when you're going through something
difficult and you're also navigating a potential eating disorder or
body image issues, is you may look at how other
people handled it. Oh, well, when that person was grieving,
(08:40):
they lost weight or when that person so therefore, why
am I maybe not doing that? Or you start to
look how other people's bodies handled grief, and I just
want to remind you that everybody's body is totally different
and you cannot look at how someone else responded to
grieving and food and exercise and all the things and
(09:01):
think that that is going to be exactly what your
body needs. One of the difficulties if you, especially as
a woman, if you've ever had a history of eating
disordered disordered eating, is that when you lose your appetite
for a while and then you lose weight, a lot
of people women in particular, have resistance to gaining that
(09:23):
weight back because then you go into sort of revenge
body culture. Um. But remembering that that's not sustainable and
that's that was a that was a stress and a
grief response for them, and then you know they have
to mentally navigate getting back to a healthy weight and
that's not a fun process to go through either, you know.
So asking yourself like one, seeing that everyone's journey is
(09:46):
different and realizing that as much as you can try
to nourish yourself from the beginning so that you're not
ping ponging is actually can be a blessing. Huge like
this is a tool to have that you can know
if you if you can understand it. That's why I
said the aware this is so key. If you can
understand at least this piece, that helps navigating all the
other pieces. If you're numbing, then you're not feeling what's
(10:08):
really happening, and then it's just gonna take the whole process.
It's going to take you longer. And I've been there.
I speak from experience. There is no judgment when I
say this, Like it's taken me years and years and
years to heal from certain things because of all the
numbing that I did with food and purging and exercise,
like all the different things to distract myself. And so
if that is you, this is your journey and you
(10:30):
will figure it out in the right time. And maybe
this is a conversation that you needed to hear to
just like kind of have that lightbulb go off. But
ultimately it's going to take you putting in the work.
But awareness is first. And I know the initial conversation
was about normalizing cravings, but also you know, normalized feeling
just super confused, right, Yeah, it's okay. I just the
(10:55):
you know, some days maybe needing to to go just
let out a good scream, because if you are experiencing
grief on top of any type of eating disorder or
body image issue, it's just so exhausting because your brain
is already so occupied with so many other things and
(11:15):
you don't have the space for it. But the quicker
you can try to find the resources and help and
the right team. If you have access to that, then
you know the better off that you're going to be,
and that taking care of your body and nourishing it
will get you to the healing point faster. But again,
faster is relative. Just because someone else healed in this
(11:36):
amount of time doesn't mean that you have to. Yeah,
And because grief is so nonlinear again, it's like we
can't compare to other people's journeys because things may resurface
for them in years, you know. And so just because
it looks like someone is doing well, I mean, we
hope that they are, but we can't compare because that's
not fair to you because you don't know what their
long term trajectory is. And I think your point about
(11:57):
crying is really important. One of the things I absolutely
insist is that as much as you can, let the
tears come when they want to, I know, something realistic.
You know, sometimes it's not realistic, but but when you can. Mean.
One of the reasons I organized my my research according
to the stages of grief is because sometimes what we
really need when we're in the anger phase anger stage
(12:20):
is to scream and cry and punch pillows. They're a
rage room type of things. There's like one in opery
Land where you can go and break stuff, and I didn't.
I mean, I've heard of them across the country, but
I don't know operate. I actually haven't been, but I've
kind of wanted to. I don't think it ice cubes
and thrown them on the concrete outside. That's perfect. That's
a thing to do. My therapist told me, or maybe
(12:43):
one of my kids. Therapist said to do it, and
I was like, you know, for them, and I was like,
I'm going to do it. I've had a therapist recommend
safely burning things, you know, I mean memorabilia obviously safe safely, safely,
safely recommended by therapist outside safely. But all of these
things do say if you But yeah, sometimes we really
need to get that out. And so the food, we
(13:04):
we can just without judgment, non judgmentally, notice how we
are being with food and ask ourselves, is there something
that I'm not getting out of my system and it's
showing up in these craving So other ways, you know,
finding other ways to express that emotion is really really powerful.
Art is a great way to do that. If you're
someone who likes art, that can be amazing. Time and nature,
(13:25):
which we've talked about, gentle forms of exercise and movement,
something that's very healing for my sister, which might not
be ideal for people if you've got a lot going
on around food, but if you're listening in your and
more of recovery, or you're trying to play around with
different foods and feel safe with certain foods, is cooking
and how therapeutic that can be. My sister always talks
(13:47):
about cooking is just a therapeutic for me, and that's
just not been my thing. That's really not my route,
and maybe it's because of my relationship with food. But
I have to say I made a soup the other
day from scratch, and it was very healing and therapeutic,
and so I thought the whole time is making it
was like my sister's right. I mean, I was shredding
the chicken and blending bablano peppers and a jalapeno and
(14:11):
suted onion. And my kids don't I think the recipe
called for everything to be chunky, but my kids, I
knew that they would freak out at the chunks of
the peppers and stuff. So I just blended it all
so that way, I for sure had the same flavor.
I didn't blend the chicken that was chunky, and don't worry. Well,
I've followed some accounts before they recommended that, and I
was like, oh, and yes, I've I have blended meat
(14:33):
in my very disordered days, mainly for digestion, but also
I didn't my body didn't have an issue digesting meat.
But I saw someone else doing that, so I thought
I needed to do it, you know what I mean.
That's why it's not good to do whatever, like compare
yourself to what other people are doing, because you may
have different needs. So and then you're eating blended meat
and you're like why So anyway, the soup I found
(14:55):
it to be very healing, which I know something you're
doing too is part of You're consulting and you've done
cooking classes a ton in the past being a holistic chef.
But do you have some new cooking classes or something
coming up? Yes? Totally. Actually had someone today on like
a Q and A say, how do I fall in
love with cooking again? And I think it's important to
(15:16):
just know that, like not everyone has to like cooking
and you know has to cook. I mean it's a
great way to save money. But I normalize normally is
not being like, yeah, you can be in the kitchen,
especially if you're a woman. Totally it's totally fine. But
with that said, it can be really therapeutic and it
can be really knowledgeable. It can offer a lot of
knowledge about your body, about what works best for your
(15:37):
lifestyle and your family. So I have launched a series
of cooking classes called Cooking for Heartache here in Nashville,
and the first portion of the class will be talking
about how you can take care of yourself inside and
out no matter what season you're going through. And then
I am going to make six recipes from my upcoming
cookbook which is called Recipes for an Aching Heart, and
(16:00):
just gonna nourish people and feed them in a really
safe environment and they can connect with each other and
ask questions. And when you register for the class, you
get those recipes. So yeah, if anyone's looking for just
a healthy way, really safe way to spend time, if
you're going through something difficult, um, you can definitely you know,
learn about the classes. Would love to spend time with
you well, and people can find all the details. I'll
(16:22):
link everything in the show notes, but lll balanced dot
com is Lordly's website, and then your Instagram handle is
Lordly Balanced, which the lee is l E. A ye,
thank you. I feel like sometimes people might search l E.
But again I'll link it in the show notes. So Lordly,
thank you for coming on Four Things on Thursday and
then also recording Outweigh with me because I feel like
(16:45):
food grief, how we handle grief and heartache, it's also
tied together, especially and I know you. You were a
part of Outweigh when it first launched. It wasn't even
its own podcast, it was just a four part series
that I was doing on Four Things, and you were
kind enough to share your personal journey with food and
body image stuff. So you're one of the people that
(17:06):
was a part of Outweigh when it was just a
little baby and we didn't know what was going to
happen with it. So thank you for coming back on.
You're welcome, Thanks for having me. All right. I hope
you all have in the day you need to have
By
I won't let my body out outweigh everything that I'm
made do, won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know who every part of me
It's beautiful. And then will always out with if you
(00:24):
feel it with your hands in the air, She'll some
love to the boom. There. Let's say good day and
time did you and die out? Happy Saturday? Outweigh Amy
here and my guest today is Lorley Bryant, who is
a holistic health and heartache consultant coach. How do you like?
(00:45):
What did you say that? Contay consultant? And you were
on four Things this week my four Things podcast on Thursday,
and we were talking about helping people heal from heart
ache and grief, whether it's through a breakup or a divorce,
or the loss of a loved one or job, even
(01:06):
something that you held tightly that suddenly is no longer
with you is very difficult. And I think sometimes when
we're in a process of grieving or heartache, we have
different cravings and we can end up trying to get
frustrated at those or pick those apart, or feeling defeated
(01:29):
if we quote unquote given to a craving and outweighs
is about just bringing comfort to people that might be
experiencing any thoughts like that. I don't assume everybody listening
right now is grieving, but you might be one day,
And this is information you could keep in your back pocket,
(01:50):
so that way, if something comes up and you do
have these thoughts, with these cravings, you can have this
as a tool or a resource to refer to. Yeah. Absolutely,
and thank you for having me. Yeah. It's interesting because
even if it's not grief, you know, stress or overwhelmed
can have a similar physiological response on our taste buds
and our appetite and digestion and all of that. And
(02:11):
I think we have this connotation that all cravings are bad.
But first, I think it's important to really normalize cravings
any time. Cravings are totally normal, and they're also especially
normal when you are in a difficult season of life.
So don't beat yourself up for having them, don't beat
yourself up for any decisions that you have been making.
(02:33):
You're doing your best. I am sure you're doing your best.
And with that said, we can take what feels like
a very out of control craving experience and really kind
of get control of it by understanding what is happening
with our cravings and the different kinds of cravings, and
then just consciously choosing what we want to do about it.
(02:56):
You know, I guess I should say sometimes you just
have to go for the craving itself, and that's okay,
but you want it ideally to be something you are
choosing for yourself, because that's empowering versus feeling like the
craving quote got the best of you. So well, that's
what leads to the spiral of then it's and it's
just this merry go round, right, you go in and
(03:18):
then you're you feel lost in it. But I I agree,
it's so empowering when you get to choose and you
get to almost feel proud, Yes I ate that, Yes,
and I feel great value or you can recognize, oh,
yes I ate that, and like I'm not feeling so great.
So then who you learned some information? It's true and
also it is also true that well to some extent,
(03:40):
especially if you have you know, let's say you are
insulin sensitive or you have an allergy or something. There
are certain foods that are probably not going to make
you feel great. You might have a blood sugar crash
and spike and crash um or might hurt your stomach.
But it is also worth noticing if you have let's
say one day you have the doughnut and then you
beat yourself up about it, how do physically feel versus
(04:01):
having the doughnut and being like that donut was awesome.
I enjoyed it and I'm going to go about my day.
How do you physically feel? And I tend to find
and there's research for this that you actually can physiologically
have a have a different response when you are just
enjoying it and allow your allowing yourself to be freaking
human like, it's part of the human experience, right, I mean,
(04:23):
cravings are largely how we are wired, wired for survival
to get things like sugar and fat really quickly into
our bodies. So so craving does not make you bad. No,
you said normalized cravings. Yeah, there's no moral assignment with food, guys,
Like ever, it's not a thing like there and there's
no wagon, there's no on the wagon, off the wagon,
(04:44):
Like we give food way too much power when we
when we kind of anthropomorphosized food and turn it into
this person that can do things to us and has qualities.
It's just food, and sometimes the most nourishing thing, like
I said, is to just have the donut. So going
back to initially, when we are under stress, overwhelmed, grief,
there are lots of different ways that we can have craving.
(05:06):
Some people tend to have more salt cravings, but I
would say the most common that people find is going
to be a combination of sugar and fat. It's probably
going to be the primary craving, you know, for things
like ice cream or just fast acting carbs essentially you know,
easily broken down simple carbohydrates and sugars. And that is
for a lot of different reasons. That can be because
(05:27):
you are going through major, major stress and so your
body is looking for sources of energy. Maybe you're not
sleeping as well, you're in fight or flights. You actually
need more energy, don't. Your body thinks it needs more
energy going to your blood and to your muscles to
prime you for this this difficult experience which is actually
happening internally, but our body is kind of respond to
(05:47):
it like we are about to go into a ring
and fight. So it's totally normal that you have these
cravings for sugar because your your body is looking for
that energy. Plus all of these stress hormones that are
coursing through your body, like adrenaline and cortisol. So first
of all, it's worth taking notes. Sometimes we don't know
that we're stressed until we notice what we're doing, the
(06:08):
decisions that we're making. So you may not even know
that you're stressed and overwhelmed, but all of a sudden,
you're sugar craving through through the roof, and then maybe
it's time to look and see is there a sort
of stress that I'm not even aware of. But again,
there's no judgment, there's no good, bad, or right or wrong.
It's just what serves you. So first, just understanding that
it's normal. It's natural for your cravings to ebb and flow.
(06:28):
It's normal to have them, it's normal to be obsessing
over them and thinking about them. I mean, one of
the other reasons when we're grieving that we have these
cravings for these hyper palatable foods, so you know, foods
that contain sodium, msg sugar, fat, all of that, these
hyper palatable foods is because it's a coping and numbing device. Again,
totally normal. You're not doing anything wrong. This is part
(06:51):
of the human experience of grieving, is that we we
look for ways to cope and numb and food that
has a quick reaction in our bodies, that that gives
us that hit of dope, but mean really quickly. Of
course you want that. Of course you do. You know,
like we all do. It's okay you you haven't. You
haven't made a mistake because you are biologically wired to
(07:11):
want to self soothe, and that's a really easy way
and a quick way to self soothe. Now, ultimately, if
we do that more than we put some nourishing foods
in our bodies, it's not going to help our healing
process long term. But I think the most important thing
is to understand that there are different types of cravings.
Ask yourself what type of craving this is, and then
(07:32):
again just consciously choose. That helps with such self awareness,
and I think awareness is so key, and it can
be the first step to unlocking so many things and
giving yourself that permission that it is okay that I'm
feeling this, it is okay that I am craving this,
and on Thursday's episode over on four things we we
talked about, You know, if you have lots of appetite,
(07:56):
So y'all can go back and listen to that episode
UM with Loreleie if you want to hear what's going
on with that and how I thought it was fascinating
in that episode when you shared that your body has
so many other things going on that it's worried about
that like it, you might not be hungry because it
doesn't really have time to digest anything. It's busy. You
(08:17):
have other heartache and other things that it's tending to.
So everybody's body responds in such a different way. So
I think another thing too, when you're going through something
difficult and you're also navigating a potential eating disorder or
body image issues, is you may look at how other
people handled it. Oh, well, when that person was grieving,
(08:40):
they lost weight or when that person so therefore, why
am I maybe not doing that? Or you start to
look how other people's bodies handled grief, and I just
want to remind you that everybody's body is totally different
and you cannot look at how someone else responded to
grieving and food and exercise and all the things and
(09:01):
think that that is going to be exactly what your
body needs. One of the difficulties if you, especially as
a woman, if you've ever had a history of eating
disordered disordered eating, is that when you lose your appetite
for a while and then you lose weight, a lot
of people women in particular, have resistance to gaining that
(09:23):
weight back because then you go into sort of revenge
body culture. Um. But remembering that that's not sustainable and
that's that was a that was a stress and a
grief response for them, and then you know they have
to mentally navigate getting back to a healthy weight and
that's not a fun process to go through either, you know.
So asking yourself like one, seeing that everyone's journey is
(09:46):
different and realizing that as much as you can try
to nourish yourself from the beginning so that you're not
ping ponging is actually can be a blessing. Huge like
this is a tool to have that you can know
if you if you can understand it. That's why I
said the aware this is so key. If you can
understand at least this piece, that helps navigating all the
other pieces. If you're numbing, then you're not feeling what's
(10:08):
really happening, and then it's just gonna take the whole process.
It's going to take you longer. And I've been there.
I speak from experience. There is no judgment when I
say this, Like it's taken me years and years and
years to heal from certain things because of all the
numbing that I did with food and purging and exercise,
like all the different things to distract myself. And so
if that is you, this is your journey and you
(10:30):
will figure it out in the right time. And maybe
this is a conversation that you needed to hear to
just like kind of have that lightbulb go off. But
ultimately it's going to take you putting in the work.
But awareness is first. And I know the initial conversation
was about normalizing cravings, but also you know, normalized feeling
just super confused, right, Yeah, it's okay. I just the
(10:55):
you know, some days maybe needing to to go just
let out a good scream, because if you are experiencing
grief on top of any type of eating disorder or
body image issue, it's just so exhausting because your brain
is already so occupied with so many other things and
(11:15):
you don't have the space for it. But the quicker
you can try to find the resources and help and
the right team. If you have access to that, then
you know the better off that you're going to be,
and that taking care of your body and nourishing it
will get you to the healing point faster. But again,
faster is relative. Just because someone else healed in this
(11:36):
amount of time doesn't mean that you have to. Yeah,
And because grief is so nonlinear again, it's like we
can't compare to other people's journeys because things may resurface
for them in years, you know. And so just because
it looks like someone is doing well, I mean, we
hope that they are, but we can't compare because that's
not fair to you because you don't know what their
long term trajectory is. And I think your point about
(11:57):
crying is really important. One of the things I absolutely
insist is that as much as you can, let the
tears come when they want to, I know, something realistic.
You know, sometimes it's not realistic, but but when you can. Mean.
One of the reasons I organized my my research according
to the stages of grief is because sometimes what we
really need when we're in the anger phase anger stage
(12:20):
is to scream and cry and punch pillows. They're a
rage room type of things. There's like one in opery
Land where you can go and break stuff, and I didn't.
I mean, I've heard of them across the country, but
I don't know operate. I actually haven't been, but I've
kind of wanted to. I don't think it ice cubes
and thrown them on the concrete outside. That's perfect. That's
a thing to do. My therapist told me, or maybe
(12:43):
one of my kids. Therapist said to do it, and
I was like, you know, for them, and I was like,
I'm going to do it. I've had a therapist recommend
safely burning things, you know, I mean memorabilia obviously safe safely, safely,
safely recommended by therapist outside safely. But all of these
things do say if you But yeah, sometimes we really
need to get that out. And so the food, we
(13:04):
we can just without judgment, non judgmentally, notice how we
are being with food and ask ourselves, is there something
that I'm not getting out of my system and it's
showing up in these craving So other ways, you know,
finding other ways to express that emotion is really really powerful.
Art is a great way to do that. If you're
someone who likes art, that can be amazing. Time and nature,
(13:25):
which we've talked about, gentle forms of exercise and movement,
something that's very healing for my sister, which might not
be ideal for people if you've got a lot going
on around food, but if you're listening in your and
more of recovery, or you're trying to play around with
different foods and feel safe with certain foods, is cooking
and how therapeutic that can be. My sister always talks
(13:47):
about cooking is just a therapeutic for me, and that's
just not been my thing. That's really not my route,
and maybe it's because of my relationship with food. But
I have to say I made a soup the other
day from scratch, and it was very healing and therapeutic,
and so I thought the whole time is making it
was like my sister's right. I mean, I was shredding
the chicken and blending bablano peppers and a jalapeno and
(14:11):
suted onion. And my kids don't I think the recipe
called for everything to be chunky, but my kids, I
knew that they would freak out at the chunks of
the peppers and stuff. So I just blended it all
so that way, I for sure had the same flavor.
I didn't blend the chicken that was chunky, and don't worry. Well,
I've followed some accounts before they recommended that, and I
was like, oh, and yes, I've I have blended meat
(14:33):
in my very disordered days, mainly for digestion, but also
I didn't my body didn't have an issue digesting meat.
But I saw someone else doing that, so I thought
I needed to do it, you know what I mean.
That's why it's not good to do whatever, like compare
yourself to what other people are doing, because you may
have different needs. So and then you're eating blended meat
and you're like why So anyway, the soup I found
(14:55):
it to be very healing, which I know something you're
doing too is part of You're consulting and you've done
cooking classes a ton in the past being a holistic chef.
But do you have some new cooking classes or something
coming up? Yes? Totally. Actually had someone today on like
a Q and A say, how do I fall in
love with cooking again? And I think it's important to
(15:16):
just know that, like not everyone has to like cooking
and you know has to cook. I mean it's a
great way to save money. But I normalize normally is
not being like, yeah, you can be in the kitchen,
especially if you're a woman. Totally it's totally fine. But
with that said, it can be really therapeutic and it
can be really knowledgeable. It can offer a lot of
knowledge about your body, about what works best for your
(15:37):
lifestyle and your family. So I have launched a series
of cooking classes called Cooking for Heartache here in Nashville,
and the first portion of the class will be talking
about how you can take care of yourself inside and
out no matter what season you're going through. And then
I am going to make six recipes from my upcoming
cookbook which is called Recipes for an Aching Heart, and
(16:00):
just gonna nourish people and feed them in a really
safe environment and they can connect with each other and
ask questions. And when you register for the class, you
get those recipes. So yeah, if anyone's looking for just
a healthy way, really safe way to spend time, if
you're going through something difficult, um, you can definitely you know,
learn about the classes. Would love to spend time with
you well, and people can find all the details. I'll
(16:22):
link everything in the show notes, but lll balanced dot
com is Lordly's website, and then your Instagram handle is
Lordly Balanced, which the lee is l E. A ye,
thank you. I feel like sometimes people might search l E.
But again I'll link it in the show notes. So Lordly,
thank you for coming on Four Things on Thursday and
then also recording Outweigh with me because I feel like
(16:45):
food grief, how we handle grief and heartache, it's also
tied together, especially and I know you. You were a
part of Outweigh when it first launched. It wasn't even
its own podcast, it was just a four part series
that I was doing on Four Things, and you were
kind enough to share your personal journey with food and
body image stuff. So you're one of the people that
(17:06):
was a part of Outweigh when it was just a
little baby and we didn't know what was going to
happen with it. So thank you for coming back on.
You're welcome, Thanks for having me. All right. I hope
you all have in the day you need to have
By
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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