June 18, 2024 • 18 mins
Amy & Kat talk about everything from TikTok food trends (like cottage cheese flatbread & chickles) to life lessons vs. life sentences (i.e. how long do we hold ourselves captive to mistakes we’ve made?!)
Amy has a marriage tip for Kat that she just read about...apparently this one simple thing could lead to a happier relationship & Amy wishes she'd known about it sooner.
Adelyn (Amy’s niece) shares her feelings on the infamous ‘what does this make possible?’ question when it was said to her this week after something hard.
QUOTE:
“Next time someone tries to bring up your past, while you are trying to improve your future, remember that your past is a lesson and not a life sentence.”
—Xander Scott (Fitness and self development advocate)
Call us: 877-207-2077
Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Defatta // @Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm Amy and I'm Kat and our quote for today is,
next time someone tries to bring up your past while
you are trying to improve your future, remember that your
past is a lesson, not a life sentence.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
I really like that. I've been working with some clients
recently about that idea, which it's actually with them, it
tends to be more they hold themselves back, like because
of their past, they don't deserve X Y Z. And
I'm like, what is the proper sentence for that experience
or that mistake or that thing?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Like when do we get to move forward?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
And I love that idea that it's a lesson, not
a life sentence.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
And when you have someone around you that keeps trying
to bring it out, that makes it very difficult because
they're like, okay, I have learned from that.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I am no longer that person.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
There's things that were popping up in my head.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
But do you have experiences where like there's something that
somebody specific you feel like you keep being reminded of.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Oh I feel like I do it most to myself.
Oh yeah, okay, I feel like similar to your clients,
I have myself and my own jail cell on some
things like.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
It's not locked, but you're keeping yourself in it.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, they say this study with like a bird if
it's in a cage. The bird is in the cage
for so long it doesn't know I think it's free.
It doesn't know that it's free, that you can open
up the door and it's not going to fly out.
So like, I feel like for some people the door
could be wide open and it's like all you have
to do is just crawl out the cage. But we
keep ourselves confined when it comes to certain mess ups
that we have or choices we made in our past
(01:35):
could be something to reflect on. If anything we're saying
is resonating with you know that you're not alone, and
if you have someone in your life too, that's you know,
bringing stuff up that you would like to move past.
Then you can say, yeah, So that was a lesson
for me that I learned. It's not a life sentence. Okay,
thank you bye, so that's how you respond to that.
(01:57):
I did see this whole thing on creating a a
happier marriage. Something I still feel heavy is being divorced
when I didn't think I would be. But also I'm
okay with where Ben and I are in life. And
I did hear something on another podcast, I can't remember
which one. It was about how divorce is affecting children
more than research has shown in the past, Like they're
(02:20):
starting to get new evidence that it does impact kids
more than we've let on. And I was like, oh,
because I feel like everything I know and no, I know,
I know, I know I'm sharing something like I'm gonna
let you into the thing. I'm not saying I'm not
a bird in a cage. I'm just like in the
cage for a second.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Okay, I'll let you stay in there. First sight, I'm
out of the cage.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Just no, I'm out of the cage, but sometimes go
back into the cage.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
So I'm like, shoot, we thought because we talked to
therapists and they assured us like Ben and I have
done our best to handle a certain way. But then
you just don't want to be part of contributing to
problems that they're gonna have. And I saw this whole
thing on If you want a happier marriage, just write
about it. If you're upset at journal, And I'm thinking
(03:02):
I learned a journal towards like the end of my marriage,
like just when it was starting to really crumble. We
were trying to save it. But that's when I became
an intense journaler, and I was like, what if I
had been able to write down more of my thoughts later,
because I don't know, just said, when you put your
feelings out on paper rather than taking certain things out
on your partner, it brings clarity into how you're feeling,
(03:24):
and then you know how to communicate better. And that
was a lot of our problem problems, but we also
had other issues that were causing communication problems. I get
it wasn't just me, But then I'm like, what if
I had been a journaler. So I'm telling you, Kat,
as a newlywed, you should journal your feelings and get
clarity and then communicate instead of just like trying to
(03:44):
talk to your partner.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
I have like five thoughts, but I'm gonna try to
stick to two.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
One what I'm hearing is if and when, if it's
something that you want you get married again. Your next
marriage is going to be so happy because I'm gonna
journal on my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah, honestly, some of my thoughts I don't want on
paper her, Well, where do.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You want that?
Speaker 3 (04:02):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I don't know. Then we're gonna have to have one
of those deals you know that people may exactly I
can do that. I just don't want like family, friends,
kids like I don't know. I mean, there's some stuff
if I'm starting to journal all my thoughts and feelings
to get clarity, like there's that's a lot of vulnerability
on that paper. So you know, just a little pro
tip for you and Big P. And then also yeah,
for me and Big question Mark.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I can't wait to have a nickname for the next
person you date. Well are you looking at well?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Because I'm like, we have we can't even I was
starting to think what kind of nickname?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
But we don't know. It's just gonna have to come
to us.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Big Big P just came naturally. Names Patrick, and I
just thought.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Thought it's the first thing that came to mind.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It was which My niece is in here right now.
She's part of my Thursday episodes. If you all have
been listening, she's been on the four Things podcasts for
Thursday episodes the month of June. She's my intern for
the next eight weeks. But she told me that her
boyfriend sent her snail mail. He wrote her a letter,
and I know that in my next relationship when I
(05:08):
start dating, I want a piece of snail mail. Like
I want to open up my mailbox and open it
up and there be a letter.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
That's so sweet.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
So I'm like, I want this. And they're twenty one
and I'm like, I'm forty three. I want this.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
I want your love.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
He actually just sent one to this house, so there
should be one in the mail in a few days.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Wait, so does he usually baby's address? Does he just
like write one every now and then and send it
to you.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
I had found like a list of his summer goals
and we're kind of doing the whole long distance thing
this summer, and on the list was write letters to
Adeline every week and he's been pretty good about it.
So I got my first one when I was in Bagosa,
and then he sent another.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Do you write him back?
Speaker 5 (05:50):
Well, I was writing him, but car chewed up this
book that I had been making for him over the summer,
and my mom had written in it and my grandma
and my friend. It was a book I was going
to give him at the end of the summer, And
now I wrote him a real letter and I will
ship it when I finish it, because I'm just gonna
(06:11):
do that instead.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
But I have a positive outlook on that, like I've
been there now it's good. And Bibi was like, well,
what does this make possible?
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I was going to say, and then I told my Well,
I told my mom about it, and I was telling her.
I was like, car chewed up my book and my mom.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Was like, well, what does this make possible? I was like,
you guys have to stop. They're like, okay, well, what
big thing is this preparing you for?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
You're like, okay, So as you hear Adeline my aunt nickname,
she calls me bib and so she said Beebe's house
and then yeah, Kara is my dog.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
That also ate money. She ate a five.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Dollar bill, a little bit of the five is left,
and one like, I don't know why she's been eating things,
like something's going on. I felt terrible that she ate
Adeline's cute little project for her boyfriend that, yeah, you
know how cat for me for my birthday one year?
You did the blessings jar and you went around to
(07:11):
people or got little notes from people to put in there.
And then if I'm ever having a bad day, Like
maybe I put myself in a cage you put jaelsel
I can put my hand in there and randomly pull
out a note and read something that someone in my
life said to me. That's kind And so it this
cute little book and yeah, her mom had written stuff
(07:33):
and she was collecting it and it was sort of
like that, like a little blessings book, and she did
plan on adding to it throughout the summer and then
Kara ruined it and Adelin thank you for acknowledging that
it might be annoying to just hear that right off
the bat, Like what does this make possible? Because I
think that's just my go to because it's like this
is gonna be okay and it's going to be better
(07:54):
than it was.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
That's what this makes possible.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
And yeah, he was gonna hate this bat.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Like, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
I don't think I know that part.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I'm joking.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I'm totally being sarcastic. I know he was gonna love it.
And my heart broke that.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
I like, actually, your book was ugly and I just
didn't want to tell you.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
And to know that that you cried, I would cry too.
That all your feelings are valid.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I would crying still, I would.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I probably should.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Have met you where you were more in that moment
instead of jumping to what does this make possible? I
could have sat with it, even though maybe privately you
would go do that. I don't know, but I could
have sat in the pain with you more to realize
that that was something really meaningful with you and your boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
You know, Well, that's a good lesson to carry on
from last week. We're being open minded. It's a good
lesson to learn because what you need might be something
different than what somebody else needs, like you might want
to be pulled out of that, and also depends on timing.
But a couple of weeks weeks ago, I was walking through
Green Hills with Patrick and a cicada flew into my face.
(09:17):
I was walking through Green Hills with Patrick and a
cicada flew into my face in like half of my
mouth basically, and I kind of freaked out and I
didn't know if it was still in my hair, and
so I was just like shaking and I was like,
oh my god, and like probably being a little bit dramatic.
And Patrick's response was to say, you're okay, you're okay.
He kept saying you're okay, like you're okay, and I
(09:40):
had so many feelings about that. Was pissed, but also
my feelings were hurt. And what I told him is
I need you to ask if I'm okay before you
tell me I'm okay, because when I heard you say
you're okay, what I heard was you didn't care, and
that I was embarrassing you and that all these other things.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
And he was like, oh, I was trying to just
calm you down.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
I thought that's what you needed, and that's kind of
similar to what you're saying, is like I thought that
would be helpful, But what you probably needed was for
me to like see what you needed before I just
pushed it on you. And then when we played pickaball,
I don't know if you noticed, but when a cicada
flew into my face, Patrick goes, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
He learned?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
He learned, he learned. Anyway, I'm sorry about your book.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Do you know what would have been most helpful for
you in that moment? I'm genuinely asking because I think
that this is a moment of learning. Yeah, that your
mom and I both jump to what does this make possible?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
And I like that you are being honest of like.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Will y'all stop with that, because as a mom like
I might do that to my kids too quickly and
not sit with them in their pain or frustration long enough,
and that's going into like fix it mode.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I do care.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
But do you think you know maybe what would have
been helpful at that time?
Speaker 5 (10:53):
Well, I think it is good to eventually get to
that point of having someone that makes you see the
bright side when you can't really see it the moment.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
But I think in my mind in that moment, I.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Was like, I was like, I probably should just like
FaceTime him and show him like, Okay, this is what
I was doing and then look what just happened. And
I did call him later, but I think in the moment,
I just wanted him to note that I was trying
to do something nice, and.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
I felt sad about that.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
I felt sad that he wasn't gonna know that I
was trying to do something nice because he does so
many nice things for me. But then I was able
to call him later. But you were good in the moment.
You you did say with me. She didn't jump straight
to what does this make possible. It almost said it,
but you still like sat with me in the living room.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
What I just heard is it almost sounds like you
need to like grieve what you lost before you looked
at what you were going to do next, Like before
I see what I when my future is gonna hold,
I need to grieve the fact that this is what
I wanted. That sounds kind of what you're saying. It's
like I just need a little second to be sad.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Yeah, And then just sitting there and looking at the
pieces on the floor, like why does car even like paper?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
She is up with that? Does she have a deficiency
somewhere where he's craving paper?
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Yeah, but I was just saying they're looking I was like, oh, okay,
this is the reality. And then I wasn't able to
look at Okay, Well, I can just write him other letters.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
It's fine. Yeah, And that's how I am now.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
But yeah, hey, you'll laugh about it down the line
one day.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
We'll laugh about.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
It one day when we're in the mess. It's not
very funny, Okay. Well, I was going to get into
the TikTok cottage cheese trend situation.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
What yeah, what are you talking about?
Speaker 5 (12:26):
You.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I'm shocked.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
You don't know about this, but I forgot you gave
up TikTok and took up Reddit.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
You were not supposed to tell you.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
But actually I'm glad you brought it up because I
am back on TikTok because Reddit was not.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Healthy for me.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I didn't know that Reddit was like what Reddit really was,
and then I discovered it and I was like, why
don't I just like do things on Reddit instead of
look at things on TikTok. But then it was like
so negative, So we've were off the Reddit train.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
There's also are excited to redd it that feels like
a black hole. So now we're back on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
You're back on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I have Lisa, our mutual friend, Lisa the well necessity
is Lisa Haym. She feels like TikTok is the last
like fully happy place on Earth, or she felt that
way about TikTok when it first came out. She's like,
this is the last happiest place.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
On the Internet, Like it's your Oh, I thought you
were saying, so it's the only the only happy place. Yeah,
I don't think it's happy.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Well maybe her algorithm is happy?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Why is hmmm.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Relations wait so wait, so Adeline, what are people doing
with the cottage cheese and TikTok? Like I keep saying,
I'm mostly on Instagram, and I feel like some of
the reels on Instagram or what are also on TikTok
and they're making these.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I guess what it is.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Are they making like bread out of cottage cheese or
something sort.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Of like tortillas or something four high protein?
Speaker 5 (13:52):
Yeah, it's like a cottage cheese protein flatbreads. You put
it on a pan and you bake it for like
forty minutes. I put everything bagel seasoning on it, and
it's like soft in it too.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Do you like cotta cheese?
Speaker 5 (14:05):
No? I do not like cottage cheese, but you can't
taste it when when it comes out, it's not like chunky.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
I don't like the texture. That's why I don't like.
But then it turns into flat bread.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
You just lay it out flat on some foil on
a pan and you bake it a like three fifty
for forty minutes and it's soft like bread. It's soft
like bread. Maybe it's three twenty five a little lower,
but it's good. Make a rap I don't know that
I'll I could do it.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Well, listen for someone like me that's trying to make
sure I get my adequate amounts of protein. I'm gonna
give it a try because I keep seeing people post
about it and they make these they make them look good,
and I'll tell you if it's gonna be if it's
not gonna be good. But Adeline eats whatever. She's not
picky about what she eats, but she's training for a
marathon and she's trying to make sure that she's got like, you.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Know, you eat anything. You're not like a picky person.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
But I am picky, I know.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
But a not picky person that will really eat anything.
Is she really gonna just a cottage cheese wrap if
it's not good and eat it. When she'll eat, she
will eat, yes, and she doesn't even like cottage cheese.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Well, some people are going to be doing it to
avoid eating carbs or.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Bread exactly, which if they want to do that, that's
their thing. And I have to make sure to check
my disordered past and thinking sometimes if I go back
into that cage, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
But I'm free bird from that.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I just know, Hey, I'm looking for ways to get
that protein in and the people on the internet they
make it look good. And then I got my twenty
one year old niece over here that likes good food
and we'll eat whatever, and she's opting to use it.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
So I feel like you're trying to pressure me to
eat cottage cheese. I just think that you're a cottage
cheese and then sure.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
She also said that there's a viral cheese trend and
it's called chickles. And you take cheese and you fried
in a pan and you can throw a pickle in
it and that makes it a chickle. But I don't
like pickles, so I'm not going.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
To try that. But there's other things that you can
throw in the cheese.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
If I tried cottage cheese bread, you have to try
a chickle, okay, and you have to chew it and
swallow it. You can't spit it out, okay unless you're
having a brilliant adverse reaction.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Well, actually, I take that back.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
If I want to spit it all, I have the
right too.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Yeah, we don't have to go that far with it,
but I'll be willing to try it, Like I think
I want to do some of this stuff with Adamm
while she's here, Like, let's make the cotta cheese bread.
I want to try the chickles, so I'll try the chickle.
But you can also do cheese with onions, so would
that make it a chinion? So you just take the
c h from the cheese. If you put pepperoni, then
it's a chepperoni. If you put turkey, it's a turkey
(16:33):
cheese and turkey jerky.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
The cheese is what's it's.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Melted on the pan, and then you put the stuff
in it and you fold it and you're.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
Even your I love pickles. So so you're.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Gonna try chickle, I y oat do that way before
I'm gonna try cottage cheese bread.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
The chickle is actually also advertised as a healthy snack. Great,
even though it's like fried cheese. They're like one hundred
calories a fornoon snack fried cheese. It's just in a pan, right, Yeah,
you can use like avocado oil, a little bit of cheese,
healthy chickle.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
What do you call the cottage cheese bread?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Cottage cheese bread.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
So every time I hear chickle, I want to say dickle,
and I don't know why. I don't know what the
dickle has to do with the chickle, but hopefully that
doesn't mean you.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
I don't know what I want in the cheese.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
But.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
It's not related at all.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
It just like to me, it sounds funny to be
like chickle, diickle, pickle, nickeled dickle, dickle chickle.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
I keep going back to I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I'm admitting that in my mind every time Adeline was
saying chickle, or I was in my brain, it was also.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
You were thinking what else could I wrap the cheese?
Speaker 1 (17:45):
No, do not be inappropriate?
Speaker 4 (17:50):
Cat? Where can people find you? On Instagram? At cat
dot and at Unique Therapy podcast.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
And I'm at radio Amy and Adeline and I will
see all this Thursday for fourth Things because she'll be
back on.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I hope you all have the lisits you need to have. Bye.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Bye,
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm Amy and I'm Kat and our quote for today is,
next time someone tries to bring up your past while
you are trying to improve your future, remember that your
past is a lesson, not a life sentence.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
I really like that. I've been working with some clients
recently about that idea, which it's actually with them, it
tends to be more they hold themselves back, like because
of their past, they don't deserve X Y Z. And
I'm like, what is the proper sentence for that experience
or that mistake or that thing?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Like when do we get to move forward?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
And I love that idea that it's a lesson, not
a life sentence.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
And when you have someone around you that keeps trying
to bring it out, that makes it very difficult because
they're like, okay, I have learned from that.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I am no longer that person.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
There's things that were popping up in my head.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
But do you have experiences where like there's something that
somebody specific you feel like you keep being reminded of.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Oh I feel like I do it most to myself.
Oh yeah, okay, I feel like similar to your clients,
I have myself and my own jail cell on some
things like.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
It's not locked, but you're keeping yourself in it.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, they say this study with like a bird if
it's in a cage. The bird is in the cage
for so long it doesn't know I think it's free.
It doesn't know that it's free, that you can open
up the door and it's not going to fly out.
So like, I feel like for some people the door
could be wide open and it's like all you have
to do is just crawl out the cage. But we
keep ourselves confined when it comes to certain mess ups
that we have or choices we made in our past
(01:35):
could be something to reflect on. If anything we're saying
is resonating with you know that you're not alone, and
if you have someone in your life too, that's you know,
bringing stuff up that you would like to move past.
Then you can say, yeah, So that was a lesson
for me that I learned. It's not a life sentence. Okay,
thank you bye, so that's how you respond to that.
(01:57):
I did see this whole thing on creating a a
happier marriage. Something I still feel heavy is being divorced
when I didn't think I would be. But also I'm
okay with where Ben and I are in life. And
I did hear something on another podcast, I can't remember
which one. It was about how divorce is affecting children
more than research has shown in the past, Like they're
(02:20):
starting to get new evidence that it does impact kids
more than we've let on. And I was like, oh,
because I feel like everything I know and no, I know,
I know, I know I'm sharing something like I'm gonna
let you into the thing. I'm not saying I'm not
a bird in a cage. I'm just like in the
cage for a second.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Okay, I'll let you stay in there. First sight, I'm
out of the cage.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Just no, I'm out of the cage, but sometimes go
back into the cage.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
So I'm like, shoot, we thought because we talked to
therapists and they assured us like Ben and I have
done our best to handle a certain way. But then
you just don't want to be part of contributing to
problems that they're gonna have. And I saw this whole
thing on If you want a happier marriage, just write
about it. If you're upset at journal, And I'm thinking
(03:02):
I learned a journal towards like the end of my marriage,
like just when it was starting to really crumble. We
were trying to save it. But that's when I became
an intense journaler, and I was like, what if I
had been able to write down more of my thoughts later,
because I don't know, just said, when you put your
feelings out on paper rather than taking certain things out
on your partner, it brings clarity into how you're feeling,
(03:24):
and then you know how to communicate better. And that
was a lot of our problem problems, but we also
had other issues that were causing communication problems. I get
it wasn't just me, But then I'm like, what if
I had been a journaler. So I'm telling you, Kat,
as a newlywed, you should journal your feelings and get
clarity and then communicate instead of just like trying to
(03:44):
talk to your partner.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
I have like five thoughts, but I'm gonna try to
stick to two.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
One what I'm hearing is if and when, if it's
something that you want you get married again. Your next
marriage is going to be so happy because I'm gonna
journal on my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah, honestly, some of my thoughts I don't want on
paper her, Well, where do.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You want that?
Speaker 3 (04:02):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I don't know. Then we're gonna have to have one
of those deals you know that people may exactly I
can do that. I just don't want like family, friends,
kids like I don't know. I mean, there's some stuff
if I'm starting to journal all my thoughts and feelings
to get clarity, like there's that's a lot of vulnerability
on that paper. So you know, just a little pro
tip for you and Big P. And then also yeah,
for me and Big question Mark.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I can't wait to have a nickname for the next
person you date. Well are you looking at well?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Because I'm like, we have we can't even I was
starting to think what kind of nickname?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
But we don't know. It's just gonna have to come
to us.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Big Big P just came naturally. Names Patrick, and I
just thought.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Thought it's the first thing that came to mind.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It was which My niece is in here right now.
She's part of my Thursday episodes. If you all have
been listening, she's been on the four Things podcasts for
Thursday episodes the month of June. She's my intern for
the next eight weeks. But she told me that her
boyfriend sent her snail mail. He wrote her a letter,
and I know that in my next relationship when I
(05:08):
start dating, I want a piece of snail mail. Like
I want to open up my mailbox and open it
up and there be a letter.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
That's so sweet.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
So I'm like, I want this. And they're twenty one
and I'm like, I'm forty three. I want this.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
I want your love.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
He actually just sent one to this house, so there
should be one in the mail in a few days.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Wait, so does he usually baby's address? Does he just
like write one every now and then and send it
to you.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
I had found like a list of his summer goals
and we're kind of doing the whole long distance thing
this summer, and on the list was write letters to
Adeline every week and he's been pretty good about it.
So I got my first one when I was in Bagosa,
and then he sent another.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Do you write him back?
Speaker 5 (05:50):
Well, I was writing him, but car chewed up this
book that I had been making for him over the summer,
and my mom had written in it and my grandma
and my friend. It was a book I was going
to give him at the end of the summer, And
now I wrote him a real letter and I will
ship it when I finish it, because I'm just gonna
(06:11):
do that instead.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
But I have a positive outlook on that, like I've
been there now it's good. And Bibi was like, well,
what does this make possible?
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I was going to say, and then I told my Well,
I told my mom about it, and I was telling her.
I was like, car chewed up my book and my mom.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Was like, well, what does this make possible? I was like,
you guys have to stop. They're like, okay, well, what
big thing is this preparing you for?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
You're like, okay, So as you hear Adeline my aunt nickname,
she calls me bib and so she said Beebe's house
and then yeah, Kara is my dog.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
That also ate money. She ate a five.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Dollar bill, a little bit of the five is left,
and one like, I don't know why she's been eating things,
like something's going on. I felt terrible that she ate
Adeline's cute little project for her boyfriend that, yeah, you
know how cat for me for my birthday one year?
You did the blessings jar and you went around to
(07:11):
people or got little notes from people to put in there.
And then if I'm ever having a bad day, Like
maybe I put myself in a cage you put jaelsel
I can put my hand in there and randomly pull
out a note and read something that someone in my
life said to me. That's kind And so it this
cute little book and yeah, her mom had written stuff
(07:33):
and she was collecting it and it was sort of
like that, like a little blessings book, and she did
plan on adding to it throughout the summer and then
Kara ruined it and Adelin thank you for acknowledging that
it might be annoying to just hear that right off
the bat, Like what does this make possible? Because I
think that's just my go to because it's like this
is gonna be okay and it's going to be better
(07:54):
than it was.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
That's what this makes possible.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
And yeah, he was gonna hate this bat.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Like, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
I don't think I know that part.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I'm joking.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I'm totally being sarcastic. I know he was gonna love it.
And my heart broke that.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
I like, actually, your book was ugly and I just
didn't want to tell you.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
And to know that that you cried, I would cry too.
That all your feelings are valid.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I would crying still, I would.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I probably should.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Have met you where you were more in that moment
instead of jumping to what does this make possible? I
could have sat with it, even though maybe privately you
would go do that. I don't know, but I could
have sat in the pain with you more to realize
that that was something really meaningful with you and your boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
You know, Well, that's a good lesson to carry on
from last week. We're being open minded. It's a good
lesson to learn because what you need might be something
different than what somebody else needs, like you might want
to be pulled out of that, and also depends on timing.
But a couple of weeks weeks ago, I was walking through
Green Hills with Patrick and a cicada flew into my face.
(09:17):
I was walking through Green Hills with Patrick and a
cicada flew into my face in like half of my
mouth basically, and I kind of freaked out and I
didn't know if it was still in my hair, and
so I was just like shaking and I was like,
oh my god, and like probably being a little bit dramatic.
And Patrick's response was to say, you're okay, you're okay.
He kept saying you're okay, like you're okay, and I
(09:40):
had so many feelings about that. Was pissed, but also
my feelings were hurt. And what I told him is
I need you to ask if I'm okay before you
tell me I'm okay, because when I heard you say
you're okay, what I heard was you didn't care, and
that I was embarrassing you and that all these other things.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
And he was like, oh, I was trying to just
calm you down.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
I thought that's what you needed, and that's kind of
similar to what you're saying, is like I thought that
would be helpful, But what you probably needed was for
me to like see what you needed before I just
pushed it on you. And then when we played pickaball,
I don't know if you noticed, but when a cicada
flew into my face, Patrick goes, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
He learned?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
He learned, he learned. Anyway, I'm sorry about your book.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Do you know what would have been most helpful for
you in that moment? I'm genuinely asking because I think
that this is a moment of learning. Yeah, that your
mom and I both jump to what does this make possible?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
And I like that you are being honest of like.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Will y'all stop with that, because as a mom like
I might do that to my kids too quickly and
not sit with them in their pain or frustration long enough,
and that's going into like fix it mode.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I do care.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
But do you think you know maybe what would have
been helpful at that time?
Speaker 5 (10:53):
Well, I think it is good to eventually get to
that point of having someone that makes you see the
bright side when you can't really see it the moment.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
But I think in my mind in that moment, I.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Was like, I was like, I probably should just like
FaceTime him and show him like, Okay, this is what
I was doing and then look what just happened. And
I did call him later, but I think in the moment,
I just wanted him to note that I was trying
to do something nice, and.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
I felt sad about that.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
I felt sad that he wasn't gonna know that I
was trying to do something nice because he does so
many nice things for me. But then I was able
to call him later. But you were good in the moment.
You you did say with me. She didn't jump straight
to what does this make possible. It almost said it,
but you still like sat with me in the living room.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
What I just heard is it almost sounds like you
need to like grieve what you lost before you looked
at what you were going to do next, Like before
I see what I when my future is gonna hold,
I need to grieve the fact that this is what
I wanted. That sounds kind of what you're saying. It's
like I just need a little second to be sad.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Yeah, And then just sitting there and looking at the
pieces on the floor, like why does car even like paper?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
She is up with that? Does she have a deficiency
somewhere where he's craving paper?
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Yeah, but I was just saying they're looking I was like, oh, okay,
this is the reality. And then I wasn't able to
look at Okay, Well, I can just write him other letters.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
It's fine. Yeah, And that's how I am now.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
But yeah, hey, you'll laugh about it down the line
one day.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
We'll laugh about.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
It one day when we're in the mess. It's not
very funny, Okay. Well, I was going to get into
the TikTok cottage cheese trend situation.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
What yeah, what are you talking about?
Speaker 5 (12:26):
You.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I'm shocked.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
You don't know about this, but I forgot you gave
up TikTok and took up Reddit.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
You were not supposed to tell you.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
But actually I'm glad you brought it up because I
am back on TikTok because Reddit was not.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Healthy for me.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I didn't know that Reddit was like what Reddit really was,
and then I discovered it and I was like, why
don't I just like do things on Reddit instead of
look at things on TikTok. But then it was like
so negative, So we've were off the Reddit train.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
There's also are excited to redd it that feels like
a black hole. So now we're back on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
You're back on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I have Lisa, our mutual friend, Lisa the well necessity
is Lisa Haym. She feels like TikTok is the last
like fully happy place on Earth, or she felt that
way about TikTok when it first came out. She's like,
this is the last happiest place.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
On the Internet, Like it's your Oh, I thought you
were saying, so it's the only the only happy place. Yeah,
I don't think it's happy.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Well maybe her algorithm is happy?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Why is hmmm.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Relations wait so wait, so Adeline, what are people doing
with the cottage cheese and TikTok? Like I keep saying,
I'm mostly on Instagram, and I feel like some of
the reels on Instagram or what are also on TikTok
and they're making these.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I guess what it is.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Are they making like bread out of cottage cheese or
something sort.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Of like tortillas or something four high protein?
Speaker 5 (13:52):
Yeah, it's like a cottage cheese protein flatbreads. You put
it on a pan and you bake it for like
forty minutes. I put everything bagel seasoning on it, and
it's like soft in it too.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Do you like cotta cheese?
Speaker 5 (14:05):
No? I do not like cottage cheese, but you can't
taste it when when it comes out, it's not like chunky.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
I don't like the texture. That's why I don't like.
But then it turns into flat bread.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
You just lay it out flat on some foil on
a pan and you bake it a like three fifty
for forty minutes and it's soft like bread. It's soft
like bread. Maybe it's three twenty five a little lower,
but it's good. Make a rap I don't know that
I'll I could do it.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Well, listen for someone like me that's trying to make
sure I get my adequate amounts of protein. I'm gonna
give it a try because I keep seeing people post
about it and they make these they make them look good,
and I'll tell you if it's gonna be if it's
not gonna be good. But Adeline eats whatever. She's not
picky about what she eats, but she's training for a
marathon and she's trying to make sure that she's got like, you.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Know, you eat anything. You're not like a picky person.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
But I am picky, I know.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
But a not picky person that will really eat anything.
Is she really gonna just a cottage cheese wrap if
it's not good and eat it. When she'll eat, she
will eat, yes, and she doesn't even like cottage cheese.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Well, some people are going to be doing it to
avoid eating carbs or.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Bread exactly, which if they want to do that, that's
their thing. And I have to make sure to check
my disordered past and thinking sometimes if I go back
into that cage, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
But I'm free bird from that.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I just know, Hey, I'm looking for ways to get
that protein in and the people on the internet they
make it look good. And then I got my twenty
one year old niece over here that likes good food
and we'll eat whatever, and she's opting to use it.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
So I feel like you're trying to pressure me to
eat cottage cheese. I just think that you're a cottage
cheese and then sure.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
She also said that there's a viral cheese trend and
it's called chickles. And you take cheese and you fried
in a pan and you can throw a pickle in
it and that makes it a chickle. But I don't
like pickles, so I'm not going.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
To try that. But there's other things that you can
throw in the cheese.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
If I tried cottage cheese bread, you have to try
a chickle, okay, and you have to chew it and
swallow it. You can't spit it out, okay unless you're
having a brilliant adverse reaction.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Well, actually, I take that back.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
If I want to spit it all, I have the
right too.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Yeah, we don't have to go that far with it,
but I'll be willing to try it, Like I think
I want to do some of this stuff with Adamm
while she's here, Like, let's make the cotta cheese bread.
I want to try the chickles, so I'll try the chickle.
But you can also do cheese with onions, so would
that make it a chinion? So you just take the
c h from the cheese. If you put pepperoni, then
it's a chepperoni. If you put turkey, it's a turkey
(16:33):
cheese and turkey jerky.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
The cheese is what's it's.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Melted on the pan, and then you put the stuff
in it and you fold it and you're.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
Even your I love pickles. So so you're.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Gonna try chickle, I y oat do that way before
I'm gonna try cottage cheese bread.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
The chickle is actually also advertised as a healthy snack. Great,
even though it's like fried cheese. They're like one hundred
calories a fornoon snack fried cheese. It's just in a pan, right, Yeah,
you can use like avocado oil, a little bit of cheese,
healthy chickle.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
What do you call the cottage cheese bread?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Cottage cheese bread.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
So every time I hear chickle, I want to say dickle,
and I don't know why. I don't know what the
dickle has to do with the chickle, but hopefully that
doesn't mean you.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
I don't know what I want in the cheese.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
But.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
It's not related at all.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
It just like to me, it sounds funny to be
like chickle, diickle, pickle, nickeled dickle, dickle chickle.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
I keep going back to I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I'm admitting that in my mind every time Adeline was
saying chickle, or I was in my brain, it was also.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
You were thinking what else could I wrap the cheese?
Speaker 1 (17:45):
No, do not be inappropriate?
Speaker 4 (17:50):
Cat? Where can people find you? On Instagram? At cat
dot and at Unique Therapy podcast.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
And I'm at radio Amy and Adeline and I will
see all this Thursday for fourth Things because she'll be
back on.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I hope you all have the lisits you need to have. Bye.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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