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March 25, 2025 • 10 mins
On today's episode Graham tells us about something that's broken at his new house and we go through the Urban Dictionary meanings for Squirtle.
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wild thoughts.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Jess was supposed to be in here. I don't know
where she went.

Speaker 3 (00:05):
I have an idea, Yeah, bathroom obviously.

Speaker 4 (00:08):
I think she gets upset when we say that all
the time, but.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Like she's never here. Where is she exactly? There's only
one possible place, and that's on the.

Speaker 4 (00:16):
Toilet, yeah, the turdlet.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Anyways, speaking of turdlets, Actually this has nothing to do
with that. Oh but you know how last week we
talked about.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
My nickname that my kids gave me, the squirtle squirtle yes,
and we talked about it heavily on Friday, Uh huh.
I don't remember why it came up, but it came
up and it stuck well over the weekend. I got
a DM from Edgar without the haircut, who is.

Speaker 4 (00:36):
Like a squirrel that I don't know.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
I didn't ask, don't want to know.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
But he's like, oh my god, you have to go
to Urban Dictionary and read some of the definitions for squirtle.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
Oh no, would you.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Like to go through some of that?

Speaker 4 (00:48):
I mean, I have an idea about what some of
them are. I guess that the.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Most obvious one is, you know, this squirting, the squirting one.
But some of the some of the other ones are
kind of out there. The definition when uh oh, hi,
jess the bathroom.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
Welcome in to the weal thought.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
There right now.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
But oh, I'm tired, You're tired.

Speaker 5 (01:12):
I got I'm laid it on a flight, Can I
just I landed last night, like past midnight in Sacramento,
on the second leg of a you know, of my
flight from back from Louisville, Kentucky, which if you've looked.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
On a map, like I don't even know where that is.

Speaker 6 (01:27):
I don't picture Kentucky being as far east at it
as it is. It is way the f over there.
It's almost all the way over there, so it's very
far away. And then so I had a layover and
that flight was delayed. And then so I flew from
Chicago last night, landed in Sacramento, I don't know, past midnight.
Then you know, by the time you get off the plane,
get to your car, paper parking, go home. Then it's

(01:49):
an hour drive back to NAPA. The time like I
went to bed maybe for I don't know, forty five minutes,
got up, took a shower, brush my teeth, and came
right back here. And I beat you fuckers here by
almost an hour, Like what? And I got the longest commute. Well,
I mean, and Jess walks in here telling.

Speaker 4 (02:06):
Me that she's tired. Fuck off, I'm tired as can be.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
Competition, we're all tired.

Speaker 6 (02:14):
Also, I got home last night. Well, as I'm driving home,
my wife had been texting me all afternoon like I
broke the garage door, and I'm like, what do you
what do you mean?

Speaker 4 (02:26):
She didn't say she.

Speaker 6 (02:26):
Broke it, but like she fucking broke it. And she's like,
the garage won't the garage door won't close. And I
was like, okay, just you know, hit the button, let
it go back up and then down again. Make sure
there's nothing blocking it. And she's like it's giving me
an error message saying excessive force detected or something. I
don't know what it is. I was like, okay, well,
like I'll look at it when I get back. She
apparently kept trying it, and then the whole thing came

(02:48):
practically off the track. Anyways, she had it most of
the way closed, but when I got home last night,
I'm thinking, oh shit, she's not gonna be able to
take the kids to school.

Speaker 4 (02:58):
So I'm like I got to fix this. Only did I.

Speaker 6 (03:00):
Get back from the airport at one point thirty in
the morning or whatever. Lot then I spent the next
twenty minutes in the garage up on a ladder, trying
to figure out how to get this garage door operational
so she could take the kids to school in the morning.
Side note, a random neighborhood cat had found its way,
because what the garage door wasn't all the way closed,
It was open a little.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Bit, and it was hanging out in there.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
It scared the living shit out of me.

Speaker 6 (03:25):
You guys, there's a living thing that popped out of
all the boxes in my garage.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
It scared the crowd. I almost fell off a ladder.
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 6 (03:33):
A cat came out in fucking nowhere. It scared the
shit out of me. Anyways, I wasn't I mildly was able.
I couldn't fix the garage door, but I got it
so that I was, like I told Kato's like this morning.
Just cranked the thing open, and I think you'll get
out of there, like you have to lift it manually.
You can't use the thing. And I think it worked anyway,
So she was able to get it open. Not the
kids at school, but now the garage door stuck open.

Speaker 7 (03:53):
So it's like waiting for you to get home to.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Fix and fix it more.

Speaker 6 (03:55):
I'm calling the repair man that are the people that
installed this thing, because this is way about anything.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yeah, you know how tired I am.

Speaker 6 (04:04):
I don't want to fix a garage door. This thing
is supposed to be able to open and close millions
of times.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Can we go back to talking about squirtle?

Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yeah, yes, that is the best way. Squirrel that just
walked in.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
I tracked the Graham's anyways, I was explaining to Graham
and to everybody listening to this that over the weekend,
Edgar at the haircut dm me. He's like, you have
to go in an urban dictionary and read some of
the squirrel definitions.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
I was about to read.

Speaker 6 (04:29):
Watch it's just a beloved Pokemon character. I don't know
what it could possibly be.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Listen to this, Okay, here, and there's a lot of
different definitions, and there's there's the obvious, you know, squirting one.
But yeah, this is probably my favorite. When a male
whips out his penis while screaming, squirtle.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
I choose you.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Then he yells out use bubble beam.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
At this stage, the male shoots out bubbles made of
his ejaculate, which are free to float around and burst
in people's faces.

Speaker 4 (04:54):
That's no part of that has ever happened or is possible.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
I don't you know what.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
I can't blow bubbles out of that.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
I mean, I guess probably somebody has.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Right, have you ever tried?

Speaker 4 (05:05):
What do you mean tried? How would I try?

Speaker 2 (05:07):
How would you try?

Speaker 8 (05:09):
But I do believe that there are people out there,
like the Pokemon lovers, that have probably said the whole
like I choose you.

Speaker 4 (05:16):
Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure they're like furries.

Speaker 6 (05:19):
They probably put their Pokemon costumes on and then smash
each other.

Speaker 8 (05:22):
Oh my god.

Speaker 6 (05:24):
I asked my kid the other day, because he's really
into Pokemon also what his favorite characters were, and fourth
or fifth on the.

Speaker 4 (05:30):
List was Squirtle? Really?

Speaker 5 (05:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (05:33):
Could they have not?

Speaker 3 (05:34):
Like?

Speaker 4 (05:34):
What are you doing? Why are you naming things Squirtle?
I don't need my kids going around talking about well?

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Another definition, maybe this is why Squirtle is so popular.
Another definition says that it's the cuddliest Pokemon. Ever, how cute.
Another definition for Squirtle the act of spitting your significant
others juices at them after they reach climax. Okay, oh
my gosh, I don't understand this. One accidental circumcision by skateboard.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
That's a squirtle, that's what it says.

Speaker 6 (06:03):
How would you? How would that? That's a really bad accident.
I don't think it's possible. I don't understand that that
was possible.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
A nasty fart that squirts in your pants.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
Yeah, I got a little squirtle, Selena.

Speaker 8 (06:18):
How do you feel about your new nickname? Because I
feel like it really has stuck now.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah, well, thanks to you guys.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
I love it though.

Speaker 6 (06:25):
The listeners love it too, because they've left it multiple
times on There was a talkback yesterday. We weren't in yesterday,
but somebody left a talkback saying good morning to squirrel,
so like it's gonna stick. I'm telling you, my mom
called my brother mister baby, like.

Speaker 4 (06:38):
Twenty years ago.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
What's so funny is that, like my kids moved on,
like they don't even call me this anymore.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
And it's just you guys.

Speaker 4 (06:44):
Oh, any event I see you, the listeners are gonna
come out.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Squirtle.

Speaker 6 (06:48):
Could I get an autograph? Squirtle? I think you wrapped
your arms around it.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Yahy, should I start practicing a squirtle autograph or like
a little picture?

Speaker 4 (06:57):
Yeah, just a little splat that hits the page.

Speaker 6 (07:00):
Yeah, some of the anxious splats on there.

Speaker 4 (07:06):
That's your new signature. You guys are gross.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
You're disgusting.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
You guys. Ever let out a little squirrel before.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Ew the sexual act of shoving a garden hose up
your partner's anus until the water comes out of their mouth.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
That's that isn't work.

Speaker 7 (07:21):
That is not that.

Speaker 6 (07:22):
That's the plumbing really connected.

Speaker 4 (07:27):
I mean maybe I think you probably die before that happened.

Speaker 7 (07:30):
Yeah, it'd be a mixture of like water and blood.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
Oh my god, some of these are really bad.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
How are there that many different? These are? All? You know?

Speaker 8 (07:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (07:40):
I think that.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
Well.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
I think everything on Urban Dictionary is made up.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
You can anyone, Yeah, I can leave a definition, but
some pages and pages of different soil definitions.

Speaker 7 (07:51):
But who thought to be like, oh it's a random Tuesday.
I'm kind of bored. Let me go out another squirrel.
You know what?

Speaker 1 (07:57):
I can we add our own?

Speaker 7 (07:58):
Can we put Selena from the ja?

Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (08:02):
Yes, oh good idea?

Speaker 8 (08:04):
Yes, the top trending one and to answer your question,
I have never squirdled.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
Okay, so that's have.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
You ever squirdled?

Speaker 7 (08:13):
Joh no, well not based on all the definitions you gave.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
What about based on your own definition?

Speaker 4 (08:18):
About the one that the regular one?

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Why are you not? Yeah, we have them coming in
next week. Yeah we don't, but I'll make one arrangement,
you know what I mean. Anyways, this is going to
be a short one, much like Graham.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
Because you said you wanted to go home and get
some rest.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
I do need to go home and sleep.

Speaker 6 (08:46):
I'm gonna sleep only to then like go back, have
to probably try to fix the garage door, and then
go coach my kids baseball game today.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Well, the good news is after today the rains moving
back in, so hopefully everything will just get rained out.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
That's a good point. Yeah, let's look at the weather
on that, because a couple of rainouts would be No, it.

Speaker 7 (09:08):
Might be fine this weekend.

Speaker 8 (09:09):
I think it's only raining like Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and
then it's like sunny sun.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
But if it rains Friday, fields are wet for Saturday.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
That's true, the fields are wet, then things get canceled.
The problem is, like, would you do you want the
rainouts because then they do makeup games, and then you
have a week where you have like four games in
a row Thursday, Friday, Yeah, Saturday looks sunny, rainy Sunday,
then rainy Tuesday. Yeah, there's rain on the way. This
is gonna me rainouts.

Speaker 6 (09:33):
And then they stack all the games together and then
that's more than that week sucks even more.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
It's a good point.

Speaker 4 (09:39):
Wow, and I got a single. Dat it next week
because Kate's going on another work trip.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
Oh that's the worst. Bring your kids to work?

Speaker 4 (09:47):
Yeah they have school.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
Oh yeah they can miss a day.

Speaker 4 (09:51):
No, they can't as so are you.

Speaker 7 (09:54):
Gonna get help or do you have to drop them off?

Speaker 4 (09:57):
And no, my uh parents coming to town. My parents
are coming to town. To hell, thank your parents.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Thank you parents.

Speaker 4 (10:04):
They don't listen to this.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Oh good, thank god. We should send it to them.
They need to hear their thank you.

Speaker 4 (10:10):
No, squirtle, I'll thank you, I will thank them, I
will thank them. Person definitely not well.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
I think that we should send it to her because
she could probably hear a lot of relatable things from
like her party days.

Speaker 4 (10:20):
No, I think she didn't have any party days.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, definite you know, I will send it to her
what's her.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
What's her name again, shut Up Squirtle.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Her name is shut Up Squirtle.

Speaker 4 (10:30):
Yeah,
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