Happy Rebel Podcast

Hello. We are back for Season 3 of Happy Rebel, stepping into full summer, and I want to ask: 

How are you doing right now? 

Me? Well, I see the world. The hot garbage dumpster fire that it is. And I also see the light emerging at the end of this shitty tunnel. Do you see it, too?

I talk to a lot of people who just feel so effing overwhelmed. And, because of that overwhelm,  they have a hard time...

It's the last episode of Season 2! Let's get into it...

If you stop to think about it, as I did the other day, you might come to realize that a lot of our unhappiness comes from our need to control. And, sometimes, that need for control gets out of control.

When we think about our overspending, overeating, over-indulging, micro-managing, even our anxiety, it all stems from trying to control something — anything — when we ...

Believe it or not, I’m a pretty polite person. “Please” and “thank you” are said on the reg. I’m sure I’m not alone. Right, ladies? 

Polite is one of the things that girls are encouraged to be, expected to be. Not sometimes, but always. Reprimanded if we’re not. Being polite becomes engrained to the point we are overly polite. Showing that kindness and respect when it isn’t ...

We were sort of raised to believe that anything worth having comes at a cost. It’s hard to achieve. You’ve got to sacrifice, work all hours of the day and suffer for what you want in life. For a long time, I believed that. And, sometimes, those very limiting beliefs still creep in. But a lot of that — most of that — is bullshit. Much of it is manufactured to keep people in their places. It’s a nasty bl...

What are the reasons you aren’t happy right now, or happier if you do consider yourself to be a happy person? Is the list long or short? Does it involve things in your control or out of it?

I’m sure there are very many truly valid reasons you aren’t your happiest self right now. And I want to tell you that not only can you be happy right now, you should be. Because that is what will make a significant diffe...

So, I spent my Thursday and Friday binge watching the second season of “Worst Ex Ever” on Netflix. Not hard to do; it’s only 4 episodes. The show is more than a little horrifying. And I have a deep appreciation for those who were brave enough to share their story. It’s going to help a lot of people. And here’s why.

Because, if you watch it, you will never not listen to your intuition when a blazingly re...

This is probably going to sound weird AF, but I don’t care. It works. So, stick with me.

A long time ago, I was told that otters won’t do anything that isn’t fun. I took that as gospel, after all, we were at a renowned aquarium, where ocean facts are spoken. And otters are delightful. Yes, there are certain things otters have to do, but they make it playful. They make it fun. From that point on, I decided t...

I was going to title this episode “Care Less”, but I figured that would just piss off a bunch of people who didn’t need any more to be pissed off about. Because it’s not about not giving a shit, but understanding where our egos stir up distress when there really doesn’t need to be any. Caring less about things that don’t matter when we have so much going on that does.

Raise your hand if you rumina...

Let me ask you a few questions.

Do you use your turn signal? Do you return your shopping cart to the front of the store, not just near the doors, but where the shopping carts actually live? Do you participate in the “zipper merge”? Do you say “thank you” to people who are doing their job, even though “it’s their job”?

Be honest. It’s just you and me here. Because, if you don’t &md...

If you are an American, if you live in a capitalistic society, I'm going to hold your hand while I tell you this gently, with all the love in my heart: 

You are doing happiness wrong. 

You are. I mean, I could be wrong about that, but seeing how many un- or underhappy people there are in the world, I’m going to hedge my bets in that direction. 

In general, most people are doing happiness wr...

You're not unhappy. You feel joy. You appreciate what you have, for the most part. You're happy. Kinda. You just know that you could be more happy. You're not unhappy, just underhappy. And it kind of sucks.

If you're underhappy, chances are you're still being led by hedonic happiness. The focus is still on the outside. People, places, material things. 

Somewhere along the line, hedonic happiness started leading the dance. Let's ...

When it comes to being happy, or deepening our eudaimonic wellbeing, I’m going to stop being polite and start getting real…excited and aggressive about why this needs to be a f*cking priority. 

The shitshow continues. We are exhausted from all that’s happened in the last ten years, not to mention the last ten minutes. And, yet, we have so much to do and so far to go. How are we going to handle it all and make...

One day, I’ll give you the full list of all the words I don’t like in the arena of self-development. We’ve covered Coach and Gratitude; now we can add Manifesting to it. Abundance, as well.
 
So many of these words have been warped by toxic positivity and co-opted by grifters that I just can’t. So, I don’t. Even though I do have certifications in Law of Attraction and Trauma-Informed Abundan...

One thing that we in the Western world do not do enough of is meditate. I think meditation is just as misunderstood as happiness. And just as powerful.

But if you’re picturing mediation as sitting in lotus position with a clear and quiet mind for a ridiculous amount of time, let that vision go. Meditation comes in many forms and the bennies begin in as little as three minutes a day. With that in mind, are you ready to ...

Pick a cult, any cult. There are so many to choose from. Some active. Some defunct. But what do they all have in common? It’s not just the grift or the coercive control. It’s that good people go to them to find happiness. So, if you think you’re too savvy to fall into a cult, you might be right. But, are you happy enough?

I take back the savvy thing. Many smart people enter groups thinking they’re doi...

Now is probably the worst time to talk about being happy. But, really, it’s the best.

Once again I have to stress what happiness actually is and is not. Happiness is not being giddy, or blissfully ignorant and it’s absolutely not toxic positivity.

Actually, happiness is really calm, and certain, and present and centered. When I say it’s a superpower, I mean it. And when I say it’s punk as fuck,...

One of the more effed up things about being human is how our brain works. Or maybe the malfunctions. For example: The Negativity Bias. This is where our wee melons decide to give more weight to negative information and experiences than positive ones. Talk about tipping the scale. 

And, to a point, I get it. We needed to be hyperaware of danger back when we were dragging our knuckles. But we aren’t now. Yes, we are...

Are you quick to judge? Sharp with an opinion? And I don’t mean just in general; I mean toward yourself. 

Oh. Didn’t see that one coming? 

Yep, we are going to dip our toes into our self-criticism and why being curious is much more productive.

Because being critical shuts the door. Curiosity, on the other hand, keeps it open.

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Resistance comes in many forms, but the one I want to talk about is the one we do to ourselves. Which is the absurd version.

Why do we NOT do the things we know we need to do for our own betterment? It’s baffling, and something I’ve pondered for a while, because — HELLO! — I’m guilty of it, too. And here’s the nugget of it:

The reason we resist doing something that we know is good f...