Systems for Stepmoms | Boundaries, Burnout, Routines, Blended Families, Guilt
Are you in the midst of burnout from a life full of custody schedules, stepkid transitions, and varying routines? Do you feel like your life revolves around your stepkids, but you don’t know how you fit into your blended family, what your role as a stepmom is, or what boundaries should even look like? Are you feeling guilty that resentment towards your husband and step kids is starting to creep in? All without having a solid community of other stepmoms who GET IT?! Stepmama, I’m so glad you’re here! This podcast is going way beyond just encouragement. I am offering you practical systems and scripts for daily blended family life! You’re going to get clear on your identity as a step mom, you’re going to learn how to set boundaries, and you’re going to have routines that WORK for you and your family. All so you can be fully yourself, fully seen, and fully included at home, whether your stepkids are home or not. I’m Lindsay! Mom of two boys and stepmom to two beautiful girls. When I was a beginner stepmom, I absolutely threw myself into loving my husband and stepkids, but somehow I felt like an outsider in my own home. I wasn’t sure what I should be doing as a stepmom, and messages were so mixed: ‘treat them like your own,’ but ‘stay in your lane and don’t overstep!’ And nobody could even tell me what ‘my lane’ was! The result is that I would over-give. I worried if it was appropriate for me to set boundaries or limits. I didn’t know how to approach discipline and authority without over-stepping into a parenting role. I felt like an odd accessory to the family, who did a lot of household tasks, invested a lot of time and love, but whose needs didn’t matter at all. I had to figure out on my own what it meant to be a stepmom, what my role actually was, what I needed from my family, and how to uphold boundaries that served everyone. And I built systems around all of this that made stepmotherhood feel good to me too. Then the best thing happened: being a step mom stopped feeling like a job and started being defined by the connection I now have with my husband and stepkids, where I get to be myself each and every day, no matter what the custody schedule says! If you’re ready for this to be your life too, grab your planner and a journal! It’s time to build the systems you need to feel like you again! -- Next Steps: + Your FREE Stepkid Transition Day Workbook: https://systems-for-stepmoms.kit.com/8667ada09b Contact: + Email: lindsay@LVOcoaching.com + Instagram: https://instagram.com/linds.vanorsouw + Website: https://lvocoaching.com
Episodes
Do mornings with your stepkids feel chaotic? Do you struggle to keep up with your own personal morning routine? Do you ever wish you could just have one consistent routine, no matter whose parenting time it is?
This episode is going to teach you why your sense of self is drifting away, and why that starts in the morning. You'll walk away knowing what to do every morning, and how this secretly creates the conditions to feel a genuin...
Do you feel spiritually depleted? Is there something in your heart that tells you something isn't quite right, isn't quite fair for you as a stepmom? Are you suffering burnout in silence because stepmoms "signed up for this?"
This short episode identifies the cry of every stepmom's heart. You'll walk away with a deeper understanding of what your heart is actually longing for and why things feel painful.
Take a deep breath, stepmama...
Are you feeling burnt out from trying to manage impossible logistics in your blended family life? Have you tried every system, routine, planner, and to-do list out there, but something is still not working? Do you wish you could enjoy being with your stepson or stepdaughter, but just feel a mix of guilt and resentment?
Today's episode is going to teach you what is missing. You're going to get a step by step process you can use to m...
Does it feel like stepmom doesn't get considered in your blended family? You're putting your stepson or stepdaughter first, but why does that mean you never get to make the list? Is not 'fitting in' starting to make you wonder if you ever get to feel like you belong in your own home?
In today's episode, I am sharing why stepmoms often feel like an outsider and why your approach to fix it isn't working. You're going to leave knowing...
Do you find yourself struggling with the mental and invisible load of being a stepmom? Does it sometimes feel like you live two different lives, depending on whether your stepkids are home or not? Are you exhausted and burnt out from managing your home and participating in blended family life?
Today's episode is going to teach you how YOU can build a schedule that feels consistent, spacious, and handles the ENTIRE mental and invisi...
Do you feel like your boundaries aren't being respected in your blended family? Are you not even sure what boundaries you should have in place as a stepmom? Is the all or nothing, over-giving to disconnected cycle leaving you feeling exhausted and burnt out, physically and emotionally?
If this is you, today's episode is about the foundation of boundaries. I am sharing what you need to get good at BEFORE you work on setting boundari...
Do you feel lost when it comes to navigating discipline with your stepkids? Does it feel like you don't have any say in the behaviour of your stepson or stepdaughter? Or are you struggling with feeling like you're overstepping?
In this episode, I am sharing my personal discipline system with you! I share how I get involved without acting like a parent, but more importantly, I am sharing how that system supports my stepkids and me i...
Do you feel pressure to communicate with your stepkids' bio-mom in order to put the kids first? Are you trying to make your husbands' ex comfortable with you being around her kids? Do you desire to have a warm blended family dynamic, and feel like you have to get into the weeds of coparenting to make that happen?
In this episode, I am sharing what needs to be in place BEFORE you start communicating with the biological mother of you...
Are you hoping your stepkids bio-mom approves of you, likes you, and knows you're not trying to take her place? Do you feel like you don't really have a say at home?
In this episode, we are talking about how to get clear on your role and identity as a stepmom so that you can know what you actually DO have a say in, without overstepping. You're going to leave equipped to feel a lot less like an outsider or accessory, and feeli...
Are you feeling uncertain about your role on the first day of school as a stepmom? Do want to attend the first day of school for your stepdaughters or stepsons, but you don't want to overstep? Do you worry about feeling an outsider during these moments?
In today's episode, I share how I approach this during back to school season. You're also going to learn when you need to set some boundaries around the first day and how to create ...
Do you feel anxious around your stepkids transition days? Are you experiencing burnout from your schedule constantly changing? Do you wish transition days could feel peaceful, and honestly, just drama-free and "normal"? Are you overwhelmed with grief when they leave?
In this episode, I am sharing my transition day strategic framework with you, so you can know how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling calm and capable of han...
Do you feel anxious around your stepkids transition days? Are you experiencing burnout from your schedule constantly changing? Do you wish transition days could feel peaceful, and honestly, just drama-free and "normal"?
In this episode, I am sharing my transition day strategic framework with you, so you can know how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling calm and capable of handling whatever comes your way. Plus hear more ab...
Do you feel burnout from over-giving as a stepmom? Do you feel guilty when you try to set boundaries, but find you are drowning in your blended family? Has feeling like an outsider in your own home become the norm?
In today's episode, we are covering how to find your lane, your role, and your identity as a step mom. I am giving you two super simple questions you can ask yourself to give you this clarity so that you know what bounda...
Are you feeling anxious about back to school coming up? Are you worried that there could be co-parenting conflict or schedules changes in your blended family? Do you feel awkward around what to do or how to show up at school or even in your own home during this season?
In this episode, we are getting clear on what is actually underneath these stressors, so that you can feel confident in your identity and role as a stepmom this seas...
Are you honestly a little burnt out from being a stepmom? Do you find that as much as you try to set boundaries, they don't actually help you feel any better, and they don't make your relationships at home better? Do you want to feel like you belong at home, no matter whose week it is?
I'm Lindsay - Stepmom of two, and your new blended family coach. I learned how to feel good as a stepmom and build systems that allowed me to be aut...
Do you know you need to make changes in your personal routine, but it just feels impossible to find the time? Do you frequently feel guilty at home, at work, and when you're on your own that you should be doing something else somewhere else? Are you exhausted and burnt out from a to-do list that never ends and completely drains your energy?
In this episode, we are talking about the impact mom-guilt can have on our calendars, our ro...
Do you feel there's simply not enough time for something that is really, truly, so important for you? Are you feeling overwhelmed, over busy, and over scheduled, but somehow your values, goals, and faith aren't fully reflected in all that you do? Are you googling how to making everything FASTER in your home: faster cooking, quick meal prep, get my kids to bed quickly, etc?
In today's episode we unpack the missing link for Christian...
Do you feel stuck in your parenting? Like nothing is working, even though, as a high-performing woman, you know how to make big changes in other areas of your life? Does all the evidence point towards the conclusion that you just don’t get to have a happy or peaceful home?
Mama, this podcast is here to give you hope! Learn what the Lord is asking of you in this season, and discover the four things you can do to honour this se...
Do you feel like you are constantly repeating yourself to your kids? Are you dealing with the same issues, discipline, and behaviour over and over again? Are you starting to lose your cool or feel exasperated that you just don’t know what to do?
Today, we are talking about why our best intentions to teach our kids to do better often result in the fruit of selfishness and defensiveness. I’m going to give you a step-by-st...
Do you constantly feel pulled between your work, career, or business and your home life? Do you wonder if you're being a good Christian when you're not a stay at home mom? Do you feel pressure to do everything a stay at home mom would do, measuring your value as a mother and woman against her?
Today we are myth-busting our common mental narrative that says our work is something that competes with our true mission as mothers instead...
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