Be Gay Solve Crimes
A False Crime Podcast. Join Mia Mulder, November Kelly, and their local librarian Lucy as they investigate pop-culture copaganda and solve the mystery of why they wanted to become detectives before they transitioned.
Episodes
On this week’s Bonus Episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we’re on the hunt for a legendary movie, one of the best of all time, so we’re told. But when we find it, will it be everything that we hoped it would be? That’s right, we’re doing The Maltese Falcon!
Join us as we get lost in a plot that pulls a 180° every single sentence, discuss the praxis of blowing kisses at cops, and we get a little sidetracked...
This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, Nova rolls a natural twenty on the most insanely unlikely movie pull yet. It’s the exhaustively-memed early-00s stoner comedy Super Troopers, and for some reason it’s more transgender than we could have possibly guessed.
Join us for Barefoot Cops, frozen bananas, sublimated homosexuality, and a guy eating a whole plate of cannabis. Hold on, wait, didn't we do that episode last week?
On this bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we turn on, tune in, and drop out for a groovy double-LP of an episode with two detectives for the price of one. That’s right, daddio, it’s Inherent Vice!
Come join us as we give ourselves 1960s hippie dysphoria, discuss the best technique for eating a frozen banana, and calculate exactly how hench you’d have to be to body a toilet cistern lid to the skull.
This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we take a detour from the classics to have a proper gander at the copaganda screenwriters are making today. And it turns out, they don't make 'em like they used to. That's right, it’s the alarmingly recent and alarmingly cisgender Mercy (2026).
Join us to see just how long it takes us to give up mashing a square peg into a round hole, Mia gives us advice on how to mod The Sims, and Nova lets ...
On this bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we don our blood filled black leather converse all stars for a trip back to I, Robot (2004), based on some of Isaac Asimov's best sentences.
Join us as we welcome Mia Mulder home and finally discover her opinions on Columbo, hear us explain to you to the family-unfriendly rules of The Shia LeBeouf Game, and enjoy the patreon-exclusive privilege of all three of us telling you what a bad ...
This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're joined by our dear friend Josh Boerman (host of Worst of All Possible Worlds and Ill Conceived!) for an episode all about that scruffiest of detectives, Columbo.
Specifically in... uhh... [spinning a big wheel] ...Season 2, Episode 5? Requiem For A Falling Star?
Join us as we dive into a feast of Old Hollywood Lesbianism, Lucy reveals exactly what would make her betray her union, Nova gives u...
On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're gonna keep riding this Philip K Dick train all the way into android town. That's right, it's the surprisingly sleepy BLADE RUNNER (1982).
Join us as we discuss Harrison Ford's slutty little waist, Mia lays out a theory about Making The Pimp Hat work, Lucy discusses the literary legacy of Orc City and accidentally starts a fight with 50% of writers everywhere, and...
This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we’re cruising on over to the noughties to watch the ever-prescient Steven Spielberg film Minority Report (2002), based on the classic novella by Philip K Dick.
Join us for a vision of a future where we blow our entire Patreon budget on milk baths and pass the savings onto you, where a Colin Farrell can be too Catholic even for November Kelly, and how shaven a Tom Cruise can be narrowly avoid...
On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're checking in on our dear friend, the synth detective himself, Nick Valentine from Fallout 4 and Far Harbor.
Join us as Lucy gets immediately sidetracked into talking about Fallout: New Vegas, Mia and Nova join forces to try and mod in a jerry-built judicial system to the post-apocalypse, and Nick Valentine gives us all some much needed heckling.
This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're leapfrogging right into Inspector Gadget 2! The one with the Girl Inspector Gadget, who looks remarkably like a friend of ours.
Join us on the goopiest episode yet as we introduce you all to our new beloved cyborg co-host Robo-Nova, wade into a whole new world of viscous hot pink gunge to pick apart exactly in what ways a movie can be racist towards a car, and Mia interrogates Lucy about a my...
On this extra special Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we're investigating the beloved all-american classic Nancy Drew, joined by our own beloved american class act and dear dear friend Victoria Scott, host of the podcast Tran Girlismo!
Specifically, we're covering the 2007 eponymous film that literally none of us remembers existing.
Join us as we give ourselves Precocious Darling Dysphoria, take turns dunkin...
This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, things are finally getting Swedish round here as we dig out the files on Stieg Larsson's posthumous novel Men Who Hate Women, and its two separate film adaptations; The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
But which one are we watching, I hear you ask?
Yes.
Could we have planned this better?
Yes.
Join us for a Scandinavian smorgasbord where Lucy gets pretty convin...
On this Patreon exclusive bonus episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we blow the lid on a 30 year old case by analysing the classic Simpsons two parter 'Who Shot Mr Burns?'
"But wait, I thought it was the baby?" Oh ho, my friend, I'm afraid you could not be wrongerer.
Join us for an unexpected jazz extravaganza as we tap-dance over the minefield of Nova's competing podcast contractual obligations, wax nostalgic over the queen of our hea...
Bonjour, détectives! This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we bring in Commissaire Jules Maigret for some much needed gender questioning. Specifically, the Georges Simenon novella Maigret and the Dead Girl, for which the best on-screen adaptation unfortunately stars the most Brought-In-For-Questioning actor we've yet encountered.
Oui, nous regrettons tout.
We've watched it so you don't have to.
Join us as investigate the Saddest Detec...
This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we turn our interrogation lamp directly in the face of Miss Jane Marple. Specifically the achingly gay 2005 ITV adaptation of A Murder Is Announced. Join us as we give ourselves crippling 1940s Woman Dysphoria, watch the butchest of butch lesbians Spank The Hogs, and learn just how incestuous UK casting decisions can get.
If you want to hear more Be Gay Solve Crimes more frequently, subscribe ...
On this week's Bonus Episode of Be Gay Solve Crimes, we take a leaf out of the late great Hannibal Lecter's book and, tongues firmly in our cheeks, attempt to pin down that most curious of transphobic shapeshifters, Silence of the Lambs (1991). Available in full right now on our Patreon!
Join us next week as we turn our magnifying glasses on Miss Marple in the 2005 ITV adaptation of A Murder Is Announced where we give ourselv...
This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, our investigation brings us to Hercule Poirot in Death On The Nile (1978).
Join us as we hunt down a League of Library Assassins, enlist Butch Maggie Smith to help us finally make the switch to injections, and watch Angela Lansbury down a crocodilian cocktail* to appease Sobek, God of Semen.
*A croc-tail, if you will.**
**We won't.
This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes we turn our magnifying glasses on Disco Elysium, setting out to prove once and for all that underneath all his baggage, Harrier du Bois may in fact have been Harrier du Girls all this time.
If you want to hear the full version of this bonus episode, you can find it and all our future bonus episodes on our patreon for as little as £5 a month!
Welcome to our new transfeminine detective podcast! Every episode, Mia Mulder (@Potatopolitics), November Kelly (@postoctobrist), and Lucy From Scotland (@absobloodylucy) interrogate a different piece of detective fiction in hopes of answering the greatest mystery of all: is being a detective a kind of trans?
For our first episode, we are proud to present a truly inexplicable 1940s Sherlock Holmes adaptation: The Woman in Green. Fe...
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