Divorced & Determined AF

Divorced & Determined AF

The show that supports women with the information they need to know before, during and beyond divorce. Your host, Jamie Milam, is a Certified Divorce Specialist® and is determined to empower you to live the life you desire -and deserve- by helping you make informed decisions & take aligned action. Bringing you professional education, personal experiences and tangible resources you can use no matter the stage of divorce you are in. For more divorce support, visit PeaceOfMindDivorce.info To learn more about Jamie Milam, visit JamieMilam.com

Episodes

June 3, 2024 37 mins
Getting a teen to open up isn't always the easiest, so how do we do it in this especially difficult time? How do we regulate our own emotions so that we can support them in regulating theirs? And most importantly, is it possible to actually strengthen our relationship with our teens during and after a divorce, and if so, how do we do that?   This episode continues the conversation with parents of teens educator, Ann Coleman, diving...
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It can be tempting to think of your teens as mature enough to handle more information than what you may tell the little ones, but what is actually appropriate to communicate with them when telling them about your divorce? Does that differ if you're not able to sit down with your soon to be ex and tell your teen together? Do we ask their preferences and involve them in the decision making process to the upcoming transition? What typ...
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Divorce is more than just an emotional rollercoaster; it's a significant financial transition that demands careful planning and consideration. Often, the elements of finance in divorce, such as asset division, long-term impacts on finances, and considerations for future needs, are overlooked in the rush to finalize the separation.   Joined by Jessica Garcia, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Divorce Coach, we dive into the ...
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Splitting your assets in a divorce is no fun, and for many situations it can be convoluted and confusing. There's marital property, separate property, some states have divisible property... how do you differentiate between it all?   I've asked family law attorney, Theresa Viera, to join me today and help us understand the nuances of what constitutes separate property versus marital property, and to offer specific examples to illust...

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As women, we tend to carry a burden and responsibility in our minds that's considering everyone else but us. And we hardly speak up about it. When we do start to think about what we want, we somehow find a way to downplay it, dismiss it or even try to convince ourselves we're being unreasonable. "I should be able to just get over this." "I just have too high of expectations." Statements like that can lead to pressure and shame spir...
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If you're at your wits end with your marriage, feeling lost, and have a thousand questions swirling in your head about your future's unknown, this is the episode is for you. This episode provides emotional support and practical advice for women considering divorce, feeling overwhelmed by the decision-making process.   We discuss how intense emotions like anxiety and stress biologically messes with your ability to process informatio...
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We naturally have a tendency to react emotionally during communications with a soon-to-be ex-partner, but directing those emotions at them can greatly compromise your divorce process. Even if you're not labeled as "high conflict" within your proceedings, you can still encounter challenges if you aren't equipped with some best practices for communicating with your ex.   I've asked Christina Butler, a certified High Conflict Divorce ...
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Are you feeling a little out of place in your social circles now that you're going through a divorce? Do you feel like you get invited to less things by your couple friends. Is your new co-parenting schedule making it a little difficult to get on the same page as your friends? Maybe you're like me, and you find yourself not relating to your neighborhood the way you once did. Life in suburbia certainly can feel different once your f...
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After marriage - and especially after having children - it can be hard to maintain or even create a friendship circle outside of your marriage if you aren't ever able to really get out to see spend time with them. Some women begin to feel so isolated and alone within their own home and aren't able to experience the connection with friends they once enjoyed so much, adding to the overwhelm and loneliness when their marriage is endin...
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Kids can really struggle when they're experiencing their parents separating. And the little ones especially don't know how to communicate what they're feeling or the circumstances, and it can in turn affect their behavior. Today Natalie Parmenter, a former elementary school teacher of ten years, and I delve into how children's behavior in the classroom can reflect their experiences of divorce at home.  In this episode we're discuss...
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I'm tired of hearing that women aren't the best at managing the financials. It's a stereotype that is outdated and it's not serving us. You are capable. In fact, what if I told you that statistically, women are actually better investors than men?   Today I am joined by Sarah Charles, who had found herself on the sidelines of her own financial life in her first marriage. At the age of 33 and facing divorce, Sarah decided to get her ...
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I never would have imagined that focusing more on me, rather than who or what triggers me, would actually help me more than weighing my pros and cons list. This one practice has been the foundation to rediscovering my peace and finally being connected to myself in ways I never had before. And I want you to experience the same.   Get ready to decode subtle cues your body emits when you're triggered, discover practical methods for de...
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Can collaborative law actually work? You and your ex can barely stand speaking to one another so how could you actually be in a collaborative process together? What if I told you that it could work even in high conflict cases, but that there are actually things you need to be on the lookout for to ensure it works effectively?   This is Part 2, following episode #62, and I'm continuing the conversation with NY family law attorney, J...

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Have you been told you need a bulldog of an attorney for your divorce... maybe that's the initial thought bc you've heard of people being dragged through court for months or even years just to settle for less than they ever wanted in the first place.   Let me ask you, When you hear the word collaborative in divorce, what comes to mind? Many people think it means amicable and so they assume this couldn't be the right route for them ...
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Who am I now? I'm no longer a wife. I don't feel like I fit in to the social circles I've been a part of. I feel like an outlier in the mom groups. What do I even enjoy? Why do I feel a bit lost, like I need to find myself again?   If any of these thoughts have crossed your mind as you find yourself navigating this whole divorce thing then this episode is for you.   It's normal for us to feel a little lost and have to re-learn who ...
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Divorce brings a mix of emotions that can catch you off guard. Some days you're so relieved to finally have made the decision to part ways and sometimes it hits you like a ton of bricks.   Are there significant events that trigger those more intense emotions? What if I told you yes there are, so that you know what you might be able to expect?   If you could create a little more space for yourself in some of those most triggering fi...
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Getting through a divorce and on the other side can leave you with a lot of emotional confusion, insecurity, and well, loneliness. You may have even thought it'd be a long time before you'd want to date again because you are so done with relationships. Until suddenly, you're not. Getting back out into the dating field can be nerve racking. But what if there's a way for you to navigate it more peacefully?   In this episode, Sade Cur...
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"Do I stay or do I go?"   Making the decision to leave any relationship is hard. We typically find ourselves at these crossroads because we aren't feeling valued or maybe even respected. How did we go from so lovey with one another, to now trying to decide if you can even stand to remain in the relationship? And how do we get out of this emotional turmoil and take a turning point to finally feel valued again?   Having and honoring ...
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This episode focuses on the emotional aftermath of divorce and the guilt commonly associated with it, stressing. Women tend to blame themselves, especially when children are involved, whether they initiated the divorce or not. Why is that? Why do we feel guilty for wanting to leave our marriage, if it could ultimately make us happier? Why do feel like it's our sole responsibility to keep the family unit together?   Let's dive into ...
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Leaving any relationship is hard. Leaving one that involves domestic violence can be scary. Combining all of that with divorce - talk about overwhelm.   What if I told you that there are actually things you may do that could create further legal difficulties if you do them reactively, rather than strategically? If children are involved especially.   In today's episode I am joined by divorce/family law attorney, Theresa Viera, found...
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