How To Destroy Everything
This is the true story of Richard Jacobs – a narcissist who destroyed a childhood, a marriage, a family, and a community. He sued every sentient being on the face of the earth, got banned from restaurants, and inspired a support group composed solely of people he traumatized. He stole notary stamps, hacked emails, forged signatures… and won a U.S. Supreme Court case. He was also my dad. Join us each week as hosts Danny Jacobs and Darren Grodsky will shift between past and present to explore the lasting impact of Richard Jacobs. Subscribe to How to Destroy Everything on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Episodes
April 22, 2025 • 67 mins
In our first episode, we meet Stephen’s tough girl Jersey mother and his post war(s) farm boy father, as they attempt to raise him, his two sisters, and themselves in a tiny apartment in Van Nuys, California. Then, Danny and Darren start exploring what’s behind his parents' pain, what happens to feelings frozen in time, and where is the Grace in all of this madness?
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April 15, 2025 • 67 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren confront their audience live for the very first time. Danny discusses his complicated feelings about St. Louis, and surprise guests abound. Recorded at famed St. Louis merch shop, Stl-Style, Danny and Darren search for some meaning and share final thoughts from the journey they've just completed.
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April 1, 2025 • 2 mins
In the spirit of familial destruction, How To Destroy Everything is proud to present, Toughen Up, written and performed by Stephen Kearin. Toughen Up is the story of an American family turned upside down, spilling out every last skeleton in its closet. Join us for a darkly comic traumatic memoir...a Traumoir, if you will.
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March 25, 2025 • 73 mins
Wherein Danny returns, at last, to the scene of the crime(s). Danny (alongside Darren and Sandy) go back to his childhood home, The Royal Manor, and Danny confronts his past head-on. In this, the season one finale of How to Destroy Everything, old feelings will burst to the surface, the ghosts of the past will be reckoned with, and the future will become all the more clear.
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March 18, 2025 • 62 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren check in one last time with Sandy and talk about the entirety of her podcast journey. In doing so, they discover the incredible strides that Sandy has made in her own personal evolution. Additonally, Danny and Darren bring on Danny's wife, Katie, to discuss her perspective on how the podcast has changed her husband. And finally, our intrepid hosts make a big announcement about what's next for the show.
Li...
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March 11, 2025 • 56 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren finally track down their white whale: a member of the support group founded to bring together people who had been sued and harrassed by Richard Jacobs. But as Danny and Darren get into the details of said group, so much more is revealed than they ever imagined possible -- about the group, yes, but also about Danny and where he goes from here...
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March 4, 2025 • 51 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren watch the "death video" Richard made for Danny back in the 1980s. Also, the boys discuss Richard's view of death and his conception of the "afterlife" with Danny's brother. It's the death episode!
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If you would like to support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/HowToDestroyEverything.
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February 25, 2025 • 72 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren sit down once more with Danny's brother and delve deeper into understanding each other's perspectives. Danny's brother brings a unique point of view - one of understanding for Richard and even empathy for him, compelling Danny to reevaluate some of the conclusions he's drawn about his father.
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February 18, 2025 • 59 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren sit down with Danny's brother and discuss how they survived their childhood as the sons of Richard Jacobs, how their perspectives differ, and whether or not Richard can be fairly compared to a shark.
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If you would like to support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/HowToDestroyEverything.
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February 11, 2025 • 52 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren dive deeper into Beth's relationship with Richard, which includes a shocking revelation that Danny's dad had been operating dating profiles on his sons' behalf. Additionally, Sandy discusses her dating life beyond Richard, and Darren checks in with Danny about his anger.
For tickets to Danny's improv show at the Groundlings, head to www.groundlings.com/shows/theunderstudies.
And if you would like to sup...
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February 4, 2025 • 76 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren bring the podcast full circle by exploring the moment that started it all from a different persepective: Danny's wife. As she illuminates her side of the disaster that led to the termination of Danny's relationship with his dad, our intrepid hosts then speak to the other wife, that of Danny's brother. How does a narcissist affect his kids when they grow up, get married, and have families of their own? What ...
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January 28, 2025 • 62 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren interview Stephen Kearin, a mentor to Danny over the last several decades (and Danny's self-described "Irish Rabbi"). Stephen shares his own incredible family story and the boys try to glean some lessons that Danny can apply to his own relationship with Richard.
For tickets to Danny's improv show at the Groundlings on Thursday, March 6th at 10 PM, head here: https://groundlings.com/shows/theunderstudies
...
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January 21, 2025 • 62 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren explore the newfound freedom Danny felt as a young adult out from under his father's thumb for the first time in his life. But then, Danny gets pulled back into his father's chaos when he agrees to go on a (mostly) paid vacation to Australia. Terrible doesn't do the trip justice. It was so traumatizing that it sends Danny into a mental health spiral as he finds himself abandoned in a foreign country.
List...
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January 14, 2025 • 50 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren tread into the ridiculous and terrifying world of Richard's dating life, which weirdly took Danny and his brother across the country. Then, the guys bring on Sandy to talk about the "fog of war" - or how she survived the onslaught of litigation brought by Richard after their divorce.
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January 7, 2025 • 68 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren explore the second half of Danny's childhood, which included awkward trips to the ice cream shop and a burgeoning desire to perform as a way of covering up his shame. Additionally, they'll investigate Sandy's side of post-divorce life as they finally solve the mystery of how she was able to afford a decade's worth of lawsuits without going bankrupt.
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December 17, 2024 • 61 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren dive into a treasure trove of old films and videos that Richard had made over the years, interview the actor who plays Richard about what it's like to play such an outsized character, and speak with Sandy about the ways this podcast have helped her reclaim her story.
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December 10, 2024 • 62 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren go into the courtroom during Richard and Sandy's trial and they are able to hear, in Richard and Sandy's own words, the diametrically opposed perspectives of Danny's parents. In doing so, Danny confronts one of the most seminal moments of his childhood that has haunted him for decades.
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December 3, 2024 • 70 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren sit down for a chat with a licensed psychologist to get his take on all things Richard Jacobs. In a wide-ranging conversation, they are finally able to get some answers to many of their questions about what exactly may have been going on inside Richard's mind.
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November 26, 2024 • 62 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren take listeners into a new chapter in Richard's life, a chapter in which he begins to focus his rage on his ex-wife. Sandy recounts the times Richard broke into her apartment, destroyed her dream job, and filled Danny's every day elementary-school existence with dread.
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November 19, 2024 • 63 mins
Wherein Danny and Darren tell the traumatizing conclusion to Danny's epic battle with the evil construction company wreaking havoc on his home. Additionally, our intrepid hosts delve deeper into their interview with Barbara (the woman who spent nine years in court trying to take Richard down), and Sandy gives an update on her thereupeutic journey.
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