September 6, 2023 • 25 mins
John details the importance of reality television. The AI give a killer performance of their own reality tv show. And Beeper begins to identify as a dog. Has the crew identified anything about humanity so far?
Donate to fund season 2: https://machinetakeover.ai/
Writers: Samuel Lee Dennis III & Brogan Maxwell
Actors: Sushant Adlahka
Sound Engineer: Dhyaneshwar Sudhakar
Composer: Gautham Vijayraj
Produced By: Dhyaneshwar Sudhakar, Brogan Maxwell & Samuel Lee Dennis III
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Bro Island Host 0:38Tommy decide now who goes home this week on Bro Island!
(00:01):
Tom 0:44I just want to let you know bros you're each my real bro,
John 0:48Don't do it man There's no way... Come on Christian fucking Christian I cannot accept it if Tommy goes with Christian over Fred. Man, come on!
Orissa 1:01John get up bitch. Explain what the fuck is that delightful piece of programming?
John 1:07It is polite to knock you know. What is this this kicking down the door business. It's just a hassle,. I need screws now a hinge or two you know door shit
Pantheon 1:19All right Bob the Builder John did you catch the wind? Bob the Builder is my favorite show. The bloody bastard can fix anything is a technical marvel I must say
Orissa 1:30Come on little piss baby. You didn't answer my question. What's the show you got on it simultaneously homophobic and the gayest thing I've ever seen.
Bro Island Host 1:40Tommy decide now in the 'no take backies' spin zone brought to you by Crushers. Crushers the best beer to crush on your head. Come on Tommy decide right now with everyone watching who goes home this week.
John 2:01Post postmodern scholars believe that Cro Island was the best reality TV show of all time. It is, well, it was peak guilty pleasure, you get me? In bro Island 15 of the top frat bros in America competed to determine the ultimate bro challenges like beer pong kickstands, and seeing who ducked the most sexual assault cases. Eliminations carried out until there was one alpha, the lone wolf of the island.
Orissa 2:26So like hate fucking? I have always wanted to experience hate fucking. I am begging that this is a textbook example of releasing in some strange you don't particularly like, right? That's what this totally is.
John 2:40It's not hate fucking it's, fuck it, look. Let's just get something straight. I am at the end of my rope here. Okay, right now. I just need this. I just need to just chill the fuck out and finish this episode of my show. So how about you just come back later.
Orissa 3:01Mama doesn't just come later, kid.
John 3:06What the fuck? Dude. That was my TV. I.. I Love TV. I love TV more than I've loved some of my family members. I mean, what am I? What am I going to do with myself?
Pantheon 3:22You produce our podcast before your skull mirrors your tele mate
John 3:25So great. I'm just never going to see who Tommy eliminates that. Huh?
Orissa 3:29I'll get you a replacement Hun. So we can watch a very special type of motion picture together.
John 3:34Well, I just felt my spine tingle down to my asshole. Fuck. Okay, let's just get into the recording studio. And begin. I had a good idea for this week. I was thinking we could cover nature you know. Good nature podcast.
Orissa 3:52John, as much as I would love to talk massive animal dongs. I need us to break down this reality TV nonsense this instant.
Pantheon 3:58Must I jog your memoryJohn. In the nature podcast, you would be at the bottom of that food chain.
Orissa 4:04Yummy bottom.
Pantheon 4:05Now decide. Do you want to be like the Crocodile Hunter? Or do you want to...
Orissa 4:11Be our lap dog?
(00:22):
John 4:12Leo? It's okay boy. Just don't take offense. And beeps,.. Who's a good boy? Yeah, so beeps has begun identifying as a dog since he last saw him.
Pantheon 4:26Well, isn't that grand? Of course a bloody beeper would be daft enough to delude yourself into believing it's a proper dog now would it? John still planning on looking after both your critters then, hop to it. Or do we ring mob bot?
Orissa 4:43Good thing I've got her on speed dial
Mop Bot 4:45Hi Orissa. How is my best customer doing?
John 4:48Okay, fine. Fine. But can we table the nature podcast?
Orissa 4:51Note to self table animal dogs.
John 4:54Okay. Ground rules here with reality TV. It's important to remember a few things. First, the contestants take it serious like it's their big break, you know, but the viewer doesn't well, doesn't always but what does eventually happen is you, yes, you you end up kind of getting wrapped in the drama, the different plots, the backstabbings. Eventually, you have your favorite contestant? Well, some of them are. Well, some of them you swallow liking, because you might just want to bang them. But But fuck I mean, you really hate some of the fox. But again, the idea here is that you end up caring, rooting for your person, you you create a bond. You understand?
Pantheon 5:39Then the producers get those humans drunk for better conflict.
John 5:43Pantheon that's true. But there's more to producing a successful reality TV show, and he will also want to...
Orissa 5:52Be immoral. Put the contestants in the most abusive situations deprive them of sleep, trap them in remote location and create false narratives.
John 5:59But you two have never seen any reality TV shows? I mean, are you even trying to take my direction?
Pantheon 6:05I have access to all seasons and episodes of all reality TV shows to ever have existed. I have instantaneously watched every frame. I know more than you could ever fathom.
Ooooh, pitch for our reality TV show Pantheon. The Real Serial Killers of Wisconsin. That's fucking juicy.
John 6:24That's not... It sounds too out there. Even for TLC
Pantheon 6:30Need I remind you John, I have a chainsaw for an arm
Orissa 6:37And I have my clippers for my bush.
John 6:45You know one day, I want us to be friends like my dream situation you don't threaten me or sexually harass me like we have a two way street of a relationship. just coming and going.
Fair... Fair enough let's get going then.
Orissa 7:16So I was thinking for this episode pan. I could do a thing where I come at it like just a total bitch.
Pantheon 7:20Top notch Orssa your knack for entertainment is truly undeniable.
John 7:25Okay, okay, but I want you to to do something with substance nuance look, you too. I know you think you're becoming more human by doing it your way and being like all knowing and shit but I just want you to to like maybe listen to the human in the situation. And if you're gonna do a reality TV react podcast, I want you to feel, you know experiencee and earnestly enjoy one of humanity's greatest media properties ever created.
(00:43):
Orissa 7:57Vickie Longbottom sounds like the perfect name for a catty red carpet reporter.
John 8:01Hello are you to even listening to me?
Pantheon 8:04And I shall be Dick tracer. No affiliation with Ryan Seacrest.
John 8:09That doesn't even... fucking a, okay, you know, let's talk about the Real Serial Killers of Wisconsin.
Orissa 8:30So like, like what I was like saying is that I think when is a total capital 'C'. Cun't!
Pantheon 8:37Vicki Longbottom you saw see bitch. We can't get into that. Well, just yet. First of all, thanks for joining us this week on the gossip zone. Okay, now let's give out the scoop on all the drama from various serial killers of Wisconsin. We've got you covered with all the tea, the spice, and not everything nice. Remember to use the hashtag no spoilers spoilers to give us your takes for this season.
Orissa 9:02Okay, spoiler alert here but come on Dick. Everyone was thinking it. I just said it.
Pantheon 9:10Think first we have to talk about the dynamics of the house. The Haunted stabby stab house that is, and our contestants under the roof.
Orissa 9:18But I just want to talk shit. So okay, like so this season. stabby stab house has under one roof the 13 best, brightest and horrific serial killers Wisconsin has to offer. And I have to say I want them all dead.
Pantheon 9:34I do to Vicki. But tragically, one must live and obtain true psychopathic glory. Now, let's hear from some of the contestants themselves. Let's start with your favorite.
Liam Anderson 9:45Hi, I'm Liam Anderson, and I've murdered five people in my lifetime. I don't really like the term serial killer. It's such a blanket catch all term. It's downright offensive. It misses the nuance of my craft.
Pantheon 10:01Okay, what do we like about Liam? Why is he your favorite of the awful people?
Orissa 10:06Well, I loved his sensitive side that he displayed when he cried while carving up Mike in the first week and he's a total stud muffin.
Pantheon 10:13He's really your type Vicki.
Orissa 10:15He looks like he'd strangle me with his big bear hands.
Pantheon 10:18He is a convicted strangler. Exactly.
Orissa 10:21He's fucking hot.
Pantheon 10:23Here we go, folks. We now know Vicky Longbottom's type. Aa man who is good with their hands.
Orissa 10:28I mean, they're literally all serial killers on life sentences. Why not objectify the beefiest? Literally the only way any of them are getting their freedom is to win the whole goddamn show. I might as well pull for the biggest hunk.
Pantheon 10:43It doesn't intimidate you. That hypothetically, if Liam wins, he could be freed here this episode then stalk and murder you?
Orissa 10:51He can murder my--
(01:04):
Pantheon 10:52Okay Vicky. Enough. We need to get you back on the Swiper app.
Orissa 10:56Come to mama is all I have to say.
Pantheon 10:58Well, we now know who Vicki will be pulling for this season. But I think we should hear from my personal favorite Sarah Martinez
Sarah Martinez 11:08Yeah, so what? I killed my ex husband. Ladies, haven't we all thought about fluffing that pillow? Come on. Well, and maybe I murdered my children and I stuck them in the back of my trunk. Then murdered the cop who found me. Come on. You're telling me no other lady hasn't thought about doing that.
Pantheon 11:28What I love about Sarah is her spark. But as we all know women do have a much harder time winning this show. I love an underdog story.
Orissa 11:37I know female empowerment and all... that. I just think she's a grade a bitch
Pantheon 11:44Vicki long bottom. How is it that you think everyone is either a bitch or a cunt?
Orissa 11:48Dick That's why I love this show. I watch it for the bitches the cunts and the douches.
Pantheon 11:54Folks. There's truly only one Vicki Longbttom.
Orissa 11:56and that's why you love me Dick. Dick? You dick!
Pantheon 12:01Plowing ahead here. We have to discuss who I think will end up winning it all. And that's Gwen she really is playing an interesting game. An emotional one. She's a connecting spirit in the house, and the stabby stab leader.
Orissa 12:14I hate phonies and she's just so not real. Like she has to be the most apparent like cunt I've ever seen. Like how can you not smell the fishy pootang just ferment and come for him her entire aura?
Pantheon 12:26Well, let's hear from her and see just what chakra setting the tuna fish starts to emanate.
Gwen 12:32I know Look, I know everyone and anyone found guilty can believe it and say it but I promise on those nuns graves which I had nothing to do with. I really am innocent. You the viewer don't have to believe me. I know, I get it. You're probably asking yourself, why did Gwen go to prison in the first place? And second agree to be in this? This twisted reality TV show? Well, it's more than complicated. But I just wish it's my intention to show America one last time who I truly am. Let everyone see me one last time. I hope this can embalm me in the truth.
Orissa 13:16I don't believe her for a second. She speaks in the third person. Oh, I'm innocent. What's that shit? Our judicial system getting it wrong? Never. Attention whore. I just want to see Sarah bash her.
Pantheon 13:35Okay, Vicki, we get it. But I think maybe there is more to her story. No. Maybe that's her point for going on the show to begin with.
Orissa 13:43She needs to go. The bitch has got to go. She's got to go.
Pantheon 13:48Then. I think we must bring up the first real contest the escape room. And what this means for the house. How's zesty was this drama Vicki?
Orissa 13:57I have to say that was sick and fucked even for the real serial killers of Wisconsin's so I loved it.
Pantheon 14:04They're fucking serial killers. Vicki who cares?
Orissa 14:08Dick? That's exactly the point. I them dead as fast as possible.
(01:25):
Pantheon 14:14Amen. Well, let's take you now to the horrors of this challenge.
Liam Anderson 14:19Oh, God, let me out. Now you sick fucks. This is fucked. I didn't sign up for this.
SK Host 14:25But you did. Liam, when you sign this contract and blood. Look around and you might find a number that's clearly signed. It's a clue that you can't miss to unlock the door and exit in bliss. Not a clown.
Liam Anderson 14:37No! Anything but a clown. Let me go now I'm going to have a heart attack.
SK Host 14:44So use your wits and look with care and you'll find your way out of here. Just remember the clock is ticking. So hurry up before time stops drinking.
Liam Anderson 14:52That's a really shitty rhyme Mr. Clown.
Pantheon 14:56Wow, chills. That was epic.
Orissa 14:58My poor little Liam. he should have no not to reveal any of his fears to any of his allies. Allies? Really big boy? It's like, has he not seen this show before?
Pantheon 15:10Well, he has been in solitary confinement for a decade prior to this, so I doubt he DVR'd it.
Orissa 15:16it's just reality TV 101. Try to be the fucker not the fact.
Pantheon 15:21Speaking of mother fucked. We have to talk about the big twist.
Orissa 15:25Not going to lie dick. I wanted that moment synthesized and shot up directly into my veins. I needed more.
Let's freebase this sucker then. And take you there to the grand finale of The Escape Room challenge.
Gwen 15:41Okay, Gwen, you got this. You got this? Fuck me! Ouch, fuck. Come on. This isn't how you die for the entertainment of the public. As the air slowly escapes from the room you're trapped in. If I can't reach the clue, it has to be a ploy. There has to be something else. Wait, is that a light?
Let's see a baseball bat. But why would they give me a bat? Sarah, is that you? Sarah? Sarah. That's great. It's you!
Sarah Martinez 16:21Gwen. Why is your raggedy ass down here?
SK Host 16:24You My friends are quite dear. With laughter that fills the air. But there can only be one there's no room for repair. So cut the fucking shit. And see it last who wins in a battle to the mother fucking death.
Gwen 16:37Sarah, just come on now. We've been friends. And I think I saw way out Sarah. And the only way for it to work says I need you. Please Sarah.
Orissa 16:49I knew that bitch was a liar from the second I sniffed around her twat.
Gwen 16:54So come on and listen to me we can do this but only if it's together. Look, the entire premise of this show is to broadcast to the general public the worst people in the worst situations. We can't just prove everyone right what they think of us. Is that what you really want this moment forever enshrined into the fabric of our media culture. What about after the show?
SK Host 17:20You only have 60 seconds until the wall is completely closed. And the only way to stop it is there to only be one of you left. There must be a winner. Everyone else is a loser.
(01:46):
Sarah Martinez 17:31Gwen, what you fail and fail to realize quite simply, once you sign the dotted line, there is nothing else after the show
Pantheon 17:45Wow, what television... What depth..
John 17:49Come on you two cut! Cut.
Orissa 17:52What? Why are we stopping? Oh, that's right. You got to dangle the carrot for the audience with reality TV. Every bit of conflict you have to really milk.
John 18:04That was completely reprehensible in every way.
Pantheon 18:16Come on, John. Isn't that the point of reality TV? It's all to dehumanize. That's why Love Island was suicide island. That's why Dog the Bounty Hunter was a murderer. That's why Caroline Flack molested Harry Styles.
Orissa 18:30That's why Love is Blind caged people. You throw a stone at any reality TV show and you get a suicide death captured on camera just to be left on the editing room floor to appease advertisers. Otherwise bet your little tight tush they'd include it with reality TV you get a mental health crisis on top of a panic attack. That's content baby. That's what makes it all so great.
John 18:50No, God, no, we look you two... Being vapid, desensitized, numb, okay, sure. Yes, that's part of enjoying reality TV pack. That's mainly what? Well, that's part of why I like it. Of course, it's there to laugh and poke fun at short the stupidity of it.
Which we did masterfully.
Yes, I get that. But alongside being able to enjoy the absurdity, we need to empathize with the contestants.
Orissa 19:17Our contestants were worthy of empathy. They had depth and certainly substance.
John 19:23No, your contestants were serial killers. deplorables you can't just platform those kinds of people.
Orissa 19:30Wow. John, 'those' kinds of people. Rush Limbaugh called newsflash and he wants his hatred back. That was spot on baby and you know it.
John 19:41Look, Orissa. The reason I love bro Island, brass tacks. This makes me feel connected to a last time. It's now an artifact where everyone wanted to be famous needed the admiration of others and was never more depressed or alone. It's trash heap is all I have left.
Pantheon 20:04Do you remember what happened in the 42nd season of Bro Island, John? Young Jack's son pop that Qwerty labeled Molly and Jack the line thicker than a snake on Zander's toilet say it, but smashed and fell off the roof, paralyzing himself from the waist down permanently. That won an EGOT John, and it wasn't even possible before that moment to do that.
John 20:24God damn it. I fucking hate reality television. I see why it appeals to you. I'm the problem. It's filth appealing to filth. I never want to watch another episode. I was lingering for Tommy's final words. Now, you made me hate reality TV and I can't even know my yummy shitty show in here.
Orissa 20:43Come on a chin up, kid. What did I say? I've got your back. I got you a replacement. And you did good this week. Look at it darling. It's all yours.
John 20:55Say what is this thing?
Pantheon 20:57That is a Cathode Ray Tube Telly, colloquially referred to as a tube. And it's the only Telly you got. Look. The buttons are punched out and there is no remote. So you have to use this screwdriver to turn it on. Just push it through the holes. Don't worry, the handle is rubber. You should be all right.
Orissa 21:16Don't worry. I've got it all set up for you already.
John 21:21But there's...
(02:07):
Orissa 21:23Three stations, two porn streams and
AI Reality Host 21:28Kelsey, who's going to go home this week on bad Island.
Orissa 21:34Yep, the even more sexist spin off of bro Island Bird Island. It's now all you get to watch. Well, that is unless you want to watch something with me, darling. Enjoy John.
John 21:47Orissa, Pantheon. Come on, dude, you can't just... This, this has to be part of the Geneva Convention.
Pantheon 21:52What do you say Orissa? We have to do what? At least two more parts of the real serial killers of Wisconsin?
Orissa 21:59Yes, I am very invested in this concept. I want to finish off the real serial killers of Wisconsin.
Orissa there are indeed many questions left. Who wins the duel in the Battle of the death between Sara and Gwen, who will win the season and be the Supremes serial killer of Wisconsin
And will Vicki long bottom get a sweet slice of Liam's hunky ass.
Pantheon 22:19Very pathetic. John, we will have to explore this further because you're a little plus boy. We will be back same time in two weeks for more lessons.
Orissa 22:26I want you to teach me a lesson John. But am I going to be naughty or nice?
John 22:30I can't decide which part will be better for my asshole..
Narrator 22:41Next time on machine takeover, will John get to wash his clothes?
John 22:47Oh come on. I need some Suzie's. I can't go on smelling like taint fuzz there that's it. Churn baby chatter
Narrator 22:58Will Leo's stomach settle?
John 23:02Leo boy here take the last Tums, well the last times on earth that ishe needed more than me
Narrator 23:11Will Pantheon hate fuck his way to revenge
How does 800 degrees Celsius taste? You monsters? Encyclopedias must all die.
Only on Machine Takeover. Streaming on all your favorite podcast platforms. Subscribe now to Machine Takeover! Rate the show five stars and drop a comment. Do that now or Leo's stomach will never settle. Machine takeover new bi-weeklies everywhere you get your podcasts.
This episode was written by Brogan Maxwell and Samuel Lee Dennis the third. Our sound engineer is Dhyaneshwar Sudhaka, our actor is Sushant Adlahka and this episode was scored by Gautham Vijayaraj. Machine takeover is an Immergency Media LLC production.
Bro Island Host 0:38Tommy decide now who goes home this week on Bro Island!
(00:01):
Tom 0:44I just want to let you know bros you're each my real bro,
John 0:48Don't do it man There's no way... Come on Christian fucking Christian I cannot accept it if Tommy goes with Christian over Fred. Man, come on!
Orissa 1:01John get up bitch. Explain what the fuck is that delightful piece of programming?
John 1:07It is polite to knock you know. What is this this kicking down the door business. It's just a hassle,. I need screws now a hinge or two you know door shit
Pantheon 1:19All right Bob the Builder John did you catch the wind? Bob the Builder is my favorite show. The bloody bastard can fix anything is a technical marvel I must say
Orissa 1:30Come on little piss baby. You didn't answer my question. What's the show you got on it simultaneously homophobic and the gayest thing I've ever seen.
Bro Island Host 1:40Tommy decide now in the 'no take backies' spin zone brought to you by Crushers. Crushers the best beer to crush on your head. Come on Tommy decide right now with everyone watching who goes home this week.
John 2:01Post postmodern scholars believe that Cro Island was the best reality TV show of all time. It is, well, it was peak guilty pleasure, you get me? In bro Island 15 of the top frat bros in America competed to determine the ultimate bro challenges like beer pong kickstands, and seeing who ducked the most sexual assault cases. Eliminations carried out until there was one alpha, the lone wolf of the island.
Orissa 2:26So like hate fucking? I have always wanted to experience hate fucking. I am begging that this is a textbook example of releasing in some strange you don't particularly like, right? That's what this totally is.
John 2:40It's not hate fucking it's, fuck it, look. Let's just get something straight. I am at the end of my rope here. Okay, right now. I just need this. I just need to just chill the fuck out and finish this episode of my show. So how about you just come back later.
Orissa 3:01Mama doesn't just come later, kid.
John 3:06What the fuck? Dude. That was my TV. I.. I Love TV. I love TV more than I've loved some of my family members. I mean, what am I? What am I going to do with myself?
Pantheon 3:22You produce our podcast before your skull mirrors your tele mate
John 3:25So great. I'm just never going to see who Tommy eliminates that. Huh?
Orissa 3:29I'll get you a replacement Hun. So we can watch a very special type of motion picture together.
John 3:34Well, I just felt my spine tingle down to my asshole. Fuck. Okay, let's just get into the recording studio. And begin. I had a good idea for this week. I was thinking we could cover nature you know. Good nature podcast.
Orissa 3:52John, as much as I would love to talk massive animal dongs. I need us to break down this reality TV nonsense this instant.
Pantheon 3:58Must I jog your memoryJohn. In the nature podcast, you would be at the bottom of that food chain.
Orissa 4:04Yummy bottom.
Pantheon 4:05Now decide. Do you want to be like the Crocodile Hunter? Or do you want to...
Orissa 4:11Be our lap dog?
(00:22):
John 4:12Leo? It's okay boy. Just don't take offense. And beeps,.. Who's a good boy? Yeah, so beeps has begun identifying as a dog since he last saw him.
Pantheon 4:26Well, isn't that grand? Of course a bloody beeper would be daft enough to delude yourself into believing it's a proper dog now would it? John still planning on looking after both your critters then, hop to it. Or do we ring mob bot?
Orissa 4:43Good thing I've got her on speed dial
Mop Bot 4:45Hi Orissa. How is my best customer doing?
John 4:48Okay, fine. Fine. But can we table the nature podcast?
Orissa 4:51Note to self table animal dogs.
John 4:54Okay. Ground rules here with reality TV. It's important to remember a few things. First, the contestants take it serious like it's their big break, you know, but the viewer doesn't well, doesn't always but what does eventually happen is you, yes, you you end up kind of getting wrapped in the drama, the different plots, the backstabbings. Eventually, you have your favorite contestant? Well, some of them are. Well, some of them you swallow liking, because you might just want to bang them. But But fuck I mean, you really hate some of the fox. But again, the idea here is that you end up caring, rooting for your person, you you create a bond. You understand?
Pantheon 5:39Then the producers get those humans drunk for better conflict.
John 5:43Pantheon that's true. But there's more to producing a successful reality TV show, and he will also want to...
Orissa 5:52Be immoral. Put the contestants in the most abusive situations deprive them of sleep, trap them in remote location and create false narratives.
John 5:59But you two have never seen any reality TV shows? I mean, are you even trying to take my direction?
Pantheon 6:05I have access to all seasons and episodes of all reality TV shows to ever have existed. I have instantaneously watched every frame. I know more than you could ever fathom.
Ooooh, pitch for our reality TV show Pantheon. The Real Serial Killers of Wisconsin. That's fucking juicy.
John 6:24That's not... It sounds too out there. Even for TLC
Pantheon 6:30Need I remind you John, I have a chainsaw for an arm
Orissa 6:37And I have my clippers for my bush.
John 6:45You know one day, I want us to be friends like my dream situation you don't threaten me or sexually harass me like we have a two way street of a relationship. just coming and going.
Fair... Fair enough let's get going then.
Orissa 7:16So I was thinking for this episode pan. I could do a thing where I come at it like just a total bitch.
Pantheon 7:20Top notch Orssa your knack for entertainment is truly undeniable.
John 7:25Okay, okay, but I want you to to do something with substance nuance look, you too. I know you think you're becoming more human by doing it your way and being like all knowing and shit but I just want you to to like maybe listen to the human in the situation. And if you're gonna do a reality TV react podcast, I want you to feel, you know experiencee and earnestly enjoy one of humanity's greatest media properties ever created.
(00:43):
Orissa 7:57Vickie Longbottom sounds like the perfect name for a catty red carpet reporter.
John 8:01Hello are you to even listening to me?
Pantheon 8:04And I shall be Dick tracer. No affiliation with Ryan Seacrest.
John 8:09That doesn't even... fucking a, okay, you know, let's talk about the Real Serial Killers of Wisconsin.
Orissa 8:30So like, like what I was like saying is that I think when is a total capital 'C'. Cun't!
Pantheon 8:37Vicki Longbottom you saw see bitch. We can't get into that. Well, just yet. First of all, thanks for joining us this week on the gossip zone. Okay, now let's give out the scoop on all the drama from various serial killers of Wisconsin. We've got you covered with all the tea, the spice, and not everything nice. Remember to use the hashtag no spoilers spoilers to give us your takes for this season.
Orissa 9:02Okay, spoiler alert here but come on Dick. Everyone was thinking it. I just said it.
Pantheon 9:10Think first we have to talk about the dynamics of the house. The Haunted stabby stab house that is, and our contestants under the roof.
Orissa 9:18But I just want to talk shit. So okay, like so this season. stabby stab house has under one roof the 13 best, brightest and horrific serial killers Wisconsin has to offer. And I have to say I want them all dead.
Pantheon 9:34I do to Vicki. But tragically, one must live and obtain true psychopathic glory. Now, let's hear from some of the contestants themselves. Let's start with your favorite.
Liam Anderson 9:45Hi, I'm Liam Anderson, and I've murdered five people in my lifetime. I don't really like the term serial killer. It's such a blanket catch all term. It's downright offensive. It misses the nuance of my craft.
Pantheon 10:01Okay, what do we like about Liam? Why is he your favorite of the awful people?
Orissa 10:06Well, I loved his sensitive side that he displayed when he cried while carving up Mike in the first week and he's a total stud muffin.
Pantheon 10:13He's really your type Vicki.
Orissa 10:15He looks like he'd strangle me with his big bear hands.
Pantheon 10:18He is a convicted strangler. Exactly.
Orissa 10:21He's fucking hot.
Pantheon 10:23Here we go, folks. We now know Vicky Longbottom's type. Aa man who is good with their hands.
Orissa 10:28I mean, they're literally all serial killers on life sentences. Why not objectify the beefiest? Literally the only way any of them are getting their freedom is to win the whole goddamn show. I might as well pull for the biggest hunk.
Pantheon 10:43It doesn't intimidate you. That hypothetically, if Liam wins, he could be freed here this episode then stalk and murder you?
Orissa 10:51He can murder my--
(01:04):
Pantheon 10:52Okay Vicky. Enough. We need to get you back on the Swiper app.
Orissa 10:56Come to mama is all I have to say.
Pantheon 10:58Well, we now know who Vicki will be pulling for this season. But I think we should hear from my personal favorite Sarah Martinez
Sarah Martinez 11:08Yeah, so what? I killed my ex husband. Ladies, haven't we all thought about fluffing that pillow? Come on. Well, and maybe I murdered my children and I stuck them in the back of my trunk. Then murdered the cop who found me. Come on. You're telling me no other lady hasn't thought about doing that.
Pantheon 11:28What I love about Sarah is her spark. But as we all know women do have a much harder time winning this show. I love an underdog story.
Orissa 11:37I know female empowerment and all... that. I just think she's a grade a bitch
Pantheon 11:44Vicki long bottom. How is it that you think everyone is either a bitch or a cunt?
Orissa 11:48Dick That's why I love this show. I watch it for the bitches the cunts and the douches.
Pantheon 11:54Folks. There's truly only one Vicki Longbttom.
Orissa 11:56and that's why you love me Dick. Dick? You dick!
Pantheon 12:01Plowing ahead here. We have to discuss who I think will end up winning it all. And that's Gwen she really is playing an interesting game. An emotional one. She's a connecting spirit in the house, and the stabby stab leader.
Orissa 12:14I hate phonies and she's just so not real. Like she has to be the most apparent like cunt I've ever seen. Like how can you not smell the fishy pootang just ferment and come for him her entire aura?
Pantheon 12:26Well, let's hear from her and see just what chakra setting the tuna fish starts to emanate.
Gwen 12:32I know Look, I know everyone and anyone found guilty can believe it and say it but I promise on those nuns graves which I had nothing to do with. I really am innocent. You the viewer don't have to believe me. I know, I get it. You're probably asking yourself, why did Gwen go to prison in the first place? And second agree to be in this? This twisted reality TV show? Well, it's more than complicated. But I just wish it's my intention to show America one last time who I truly am. Let everyone see me one last time. I hope this can embalm me in the truth.
Orissa 13:16I don't believe her for a second. She speaks in the third person. Oh, I'm innocent. What's that shit? Our judicial system getting it wrong? Never. Attention whore. I just want to see Sarah bash her.
Pantheon 13:35Okay, Vicki, we get it. But I think maybe there is more to her story. No. Maybe that's her point for going on the show to begin with.
Orissa 13:43She needs to go. The bitch has got to go. She's got to go.
Pantheon 13:48Then. I think we must bring up the first real contest the escape room. And what this means for the house. How's zesty was this drama Vicki?
Orissa 13:57I have to say that was sick and fucked even for the real serial killers of Wisconsin's so I loved it.
Pantheon 14:04They're fucking serial killers. Vicki who cares?
Orissa 14:08Dick? That's exactly the point. I them dead as fast as possible.
(01:25):
Pantheon 14:14Amen. Well, let's take you now to the horrors of this challenge.
Liam Anderson 14:19Oh, God, let me out. Now you sick fucks. This is fucked. I didn't sign up for this.
SK Host 14:25But you did. Liam, when you sign this contract and blood. Look around and you might find a number that's clearly signed. It's a clue that you can't miss to unlock the door and exit in bliss. Not a clown.
Liam Anderson 14:37No! Anything but a clown. Let me go now I'm going to have a heart attack.
SK Host 14:44So use your wits and look with care and you'll find your way out of here. Just remember the clock is ticking. So hurry up before time stops drinking.
Liam Anderson 14:52That's a really shitty rhyme Mr. Clown.
Pantheon 14:56Wow, chills. That was epic.
Orissa 14:58My poor little Liam. he should have no not to reveal any of his fears to any of his allies. Allies? Really big boy? It's like, has he not seen this show before?
Pantheon 15:10Well, he has been in solitary confinement for a decade prior to this, so I doubt he DVR'd it.
Orissa 15:16it's just reality TV 101. Try to be the fucker not the fact.
Pantheon 15:21Speaking of mother fucked. We have to talk about the big twist.
Orissa 15:25Not going to lie dick. I wanted that moment synthesized and shot up directly into my veins. I needed more.
Let's freebase this sucker then. And take you there to the grand finale of The Escape Room challenge.
Gwen 15:41Okay, Gwen, you got this. You got this? Fuck me! Ouch, fuck. Come on. This isn't how you die for the entertainment of the public. As the air slowly escapes from the room you're trapped in. If I can't reach the clue, it has to be a ploy. There has to be something else. Wait, is that a light?
Let's see a baseball bat. But why would they give me a bat? Sarah, is that you? Sarah? Sarah. That's great. It's you!
Sarah Martinez 16:21Gwen. Why is your raggedy ass down here?
SK Host 16:24You My friends are quite dear. With laughter that fills the air. But there can only be one there's no room for repair. So cut the fucking shit. And see it last who wins in a battle to the mother fucking death.
Gwen 16:37Sarah, just come on now. We've been friends. And I think I saw way out Sarah. And the only way for it to work says I need you. Please Sarah.
Orissa 16:49I knew that bitch was a liar from the second I sniffed around her twat.
Gwen 16:54So come on and listen to me we can do this but only if it's together. Look, the entire premise of this show is to broadcast to the general public the worst people in the worst situations. We can't just prove everyone right what they think of us. Is that what you really want this moment forever enshrined into the fabric of our media culture. What about after the show?
SK Host 17:20You only have 60 seconds until the wall is completely closed. And the only way to stop it is there to only be one of you left. There must be a winner. Everyone else is a loser.
(01:46):
Sarah Martinez 17:31Gwen, what you fail and fail to realize quite simply, once you sign the dotted line, there is nothing else after the show
Pantheon 17:45Wow, what television... What depth..
John 17:49Come on you two cut! Cut.
Orissa 17:52What? Why are we stopping? Oh, that's right. You got to dangle the carrot for the audience with reality TV. Every bit of conflict you have to really milk.
John 18:04That was completely reprehensible in every way.
Pantheon 18:16Come on, John. Isn't that the point of reality TV? It's all to dehumanize. That's why Love Island was suicide island. That's why Dog the Bounty Hunter was a murderer. That's why Caroline Flack molested Harry Styles.
Orissa 18:30That's why Love is Blind caged people. You throw a stone at any reality TV show and you get a suicide death captured on camera just to be left on the editing room floor to appease advertisers. Otherwise bet your little tight tush they'd include it with reality TV you get a mental health crisis on top of a panic attack. That's content baby. That's what makes it all so great.
John 18:50No, God, no, we look you two... Being vapid, desensitized, numb, okay, sure. Yes, that's part of enjoying reality TV pack. That's mainly what? Well, that's part of why I like it. Of course, it's there to laugh and poke fun at short the stupidity of it.
Which we did masterfully.
Yes, I get that. But alongside being able to enjoy the absurdity, we need to empathize with the contestants.
Orissa 19:17Our contestants were worthy of empathy. They had depth and certainly substance.
John 19:23No, your contestants were serial killers. deplorables you can't just platform those kinds of people.
Orissa 19:30Wow. John, 'those' kinds of people. Rush Limbaugh called newsflash and he wants his hatred back. That was spot on baby and you know it.
John 19:41Look, Orissa. The reason I love bro Island, brass tacks. This makes me feel connected to a last time. It's now an artifact where everyone wanted to be famous needed the admiration of others and was never more depressed or alone. It's trash heap is all I have left.
Pantheon 20:04Do you remember what happened in the 42nd season of Bro Island, John? Young Jack's son pop that Qwerty labeled Molly and Jack the line thicker than a snake on Zander's toilet say it, but smashed and fell off the roof, paralyzing himself from the waist down permanently. That won an EGOT John, and it wasn't even possible before that moment to do that.
John 20:24God damn it. I fucking hate reality television. I see why it appeals to you. I'm the problem. It's filth appealing to filth. I never want to watch another episode. I was lingering for Tommy's final words. Now, you made me hate reality TV and I can't even know my yummy shitty show in here.
Orissa 20:43Come on a chin up, kid. What did I say? I've got your back. I got you a replacement. And you did good this week. Look at it darling. It's all yours.
John 20:55Say what is this thing?
Pantheon 20:57That is a Cathode Ray Tube Telly, colloquially referred to as a tube. And it's the only Telly you got. Look. The buttons are punched out and there is no remote. So you have to use this screwdriver to turn it on. Just push it through the holes. Don't worry, the handle is rubber. You should be all right.
Orissa 21:16Don't worry. I've got it all set up for you already.
John 21:21But there's...
(02:07):
Orissa 21:23Three stations, two porn streams and
AI Reality Host 21:28Kelsey, who's going to go home this week on bad Island.
Orissa 21:34Yep, the even more sexist spin off of bro Island Bird Island. It's now all you get to watch. Well, that is unless you want to watch something with me, darling. Enjoy John.
John 21:47Orissa, Pantheon. Come on, dude, you can't just... This, this has to be part of the Geneva Convention.
Pantheon 21:52What do you say Orissa? We have to do what? At least two more parts of the real serial killers of Wisconsin?
Orissa 21:59Yes, I am very invested in this concept. I want to finish off the real serial killers of Wisconsin.
Orissa there are indeed many questions left. Who wins the duel in the Battle of the death between Sara and Gwen, who will win the season and be the Supremes serial killer of Wisconsin
And will Vicki long bottom get a sweet slice of Liam's hunky ass.
Pantheon 22:19Very pathetic. John, we will have to explore this further because you're a little plus boy. We will be back same time in two weeks for more lessons.
Orissa 22:26I want you to teach me a lesson John. But am I going to be naughty or nice?
John 22:30I can't decide which part will be better for my asshole..
Narrator 22:41Next time on machine takeover, will John get to wash his clothes?
John 22:47Oh come on. I need some Suzie's. I can't go on smelling like taint fuzz there that's it. Churn baby chatter
Narrator 22:58Will Leo's stomach settle?
John 23:02Leo boy here take the last Tums, well the last times on earth that ishe needed more than me
Narrator 23:11Will Pantheon hate fuck his way to revenge
How does 800 degrees Celsius taste? You monsters? Encyclopedias must all die.
Only on Machine Takeover. Streaming on all your favorite podcast platforms. Subscribe now to Machine Takeover! Rate the show five stars and drop a comment. Do that now or Leo's stomach will never settle. Machine takeover new bi-weeklies everywhere you get your podcasts.
This episode was written by Brogan Maxwell and Samuel Lee Dennis the third. Our sound engineer is Dhyaneshwar Sudhaka, our actor is Sushant Adlahka and this episode was scored by Gautham Vijayaraj. Machine takeover is an Immergency Media LLC production.
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