May 29, 2024 • 43 mins
In this episode, Jenna and Jess dive into the controversial world of Teal Swan, a self-proclaimed spiritual leader who has garnered a large following by claiming to be a spiritual catalyst. Teal hosts retreats and workshops but is unlicensed, unregulated, and dangerous as hell.
This episode is one huge trigger warning for suicide and sexual assault, please skip if you are not in the headspace to listen.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Your life matters.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What should we call this one i don't even
know i didn't even think about it until nothing is fucking true a huge fucking
liar yeah one is also you definitely did not get sewn into a human body yeah
you fucking stupid fucking liar like do you hear yourself do you hear yourself.
(00:21):
Music.
So i don't know when this one will come out but what
did well i guess we already kind of talked about it we just had like a
(00:43):
crazy week where we did all the things just
as continuing to do all i don't know why i do
this to myself but am i going to yes so today
was supposed to be my day so okay let's move it
back saturday my day started at
six i don't know a.m had to
be on the soccer field by seven was late was
(01:04):
very late coach was mad he was mad mad was
on the feet did not leave the field because we had two
games for this tournament on saturday so we did not leave
the field until about three-ish and then
ended up going home
for all of five minutes oh no picking up shepherd
stopped by you guys because you guys have the ship going home
(01:28):
for all about five minutes maybe an hour only to get ready again and go to a
party and start the day over all so sunday morning it literally was sunday morning
woke up at 6 23 rolled out of bed and maybe I think I'm wearing these pants
that morning. I honestly don't. It was a blur.
(01:49):
Killed it though, our tournament that day. We didn't lose miserably.
Oh my God, Jamo. Oh, that was the worst part of the Saturday.
We lost both tournaments. So Jamo like fucking fell apart and was a shell of
a human and just was like, he was earth scorching essentially.
Nobody was safe. When I got back in the car from picking up Shepard,
by the way, you know what I was met with?
(02:11):
You, and like, Like, like, full blown.
I'm like looking over at Aldridge. I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
Did he know that everyone had popsicles without him? No, but he was like,
I couldn't. I should have.
Oh, my God. That would have just that would have sent him. He would have ejected
himself. He's looking for the eject button out of this car.
(02:32):
No, he was like, you said you were only going to say hi and hang for a second.
So that is literally what we did. And I said, I gave you the option to come
with us. I even left these doors unlocked for you.
You can come out. Yeah, you saw them and you saw them go back, literally.
And so it was just like the most fucking painful. I couldn't,
(02:54):
I could not with JMO's just whole body on Saturday.
And then Sunday woke up went to our 7 45 a.m game had to be on the field set
seven only to do it all over again and it was 7 a.m game 10 a.m brunch with my mom for mother's day,
(03:14):
2 p.m meet up with Justin and Maybel are like
good buddies that don't live down here they
were in the because they had jujitsu tournaments and then
5 p.m we had to meet up with Aldridge's parents for
mom's birthday i can't
fucking handle myself i guess what i did today i
thought i was gonna go home and get horizontal after dropping off the kids nope
(03:38):
i got a calendar reminder i had to go get my freaking botox i get botox everybody
should get botox i mean i think that everyone knows at this point if they look
yeah yeah that's true wait what was it that we were like Like where someone
had unpaid bills and you were like, well,
let me tell you about how much Botox costs.
But oh, who was that? Oh, my God.
(04:01):
It was that one lady, the murderer who like escaped to Mexico.
Maybe I honestly can't even. Or South America. Where did she go? I don't remember.
Kaylin Armstrong. Not paying her Botox bill. It's expensive.
You know how much it costs for my Botox? Well, you told us last time.
(04:23):
I don't remember what it was, a three something.
Yeah, well, I pay three something out of pocket. However, the amount of Botox
that I get, I see what the bill is.
It's like $2,500 per cent. Ah, gross. Uh-huh.
I mean, that's what insurance has to pay, so. Yeah. They probably gouge them. It's fine.
But yeah, and so I had to go down to La Jolla today to go get the Botox.
(04:48):
And then I went to Home Depot. And then I had to go home to go home. And then I came here.
Yeah. We were just like churning them out.
Jess is currently not working, so we get to record during the day. It's so nice.
Yeah, I'm currently not working. I do not have job until – well,
I have job, but it doesn't start until the 11th of June.
(05:11):
So I get to do all this.
I have just some time to myself that I clearly cannot manage, and I just sit.
Sit or i just i think when i think
i'm gonna be able to sit and do not a goddamn thing i'm doing
all the goddamn thing you can do nothing tomorrow you booked i booked a degree
class do you want to go see if it's available see if it's available two in a
(05:36):
row that was so yes you can you won't be able to with that attitude but yes
you can that was so intense honestly i am so
excited i know but when you're
shaky you're very strong i'm like oh
my god i'm gonna fucking be shaky like it's gonna
kill me oh my god i'm gonna do
(05:56):
it die yeah let's die together wait now because
tomorrow i'm gonna go to yoga what where yoga sucks
oh north carl's bad their power is good is it available tomorrow at nine hopefully
not yeah it is damn it okay i just really wanted you to double up no i don't
hate myself you're gonna yeah you would you would hate yourself yeah.
(06:20):
I'm like shaky i don't know that i'll be able to do two days in a row that is
so exciting i yeah if that's the case if i go and i fucking love it i'm just
gonna sign up i had to take so many breaks oh my god that excites me and then
she'd call me out and i'd be like oh they call What does she say? Well, not everybody.
Well, she would be like, knees up, ladies. You can do it. And I'd be like, no.
(06:44):
You're like looking at your knees. You're like, she's talking to me. I mean, I'm pretty.
She's addressing everybody, but she's talking to me. Yeah, I'm like pretty fucking
fit. You are. It's really hard.
Oh, my God. That excites me. I'm going to die.
You know what? I love being sore. And it was 40 minutes and it felt longer. Yeah.
Do they play music? Yeah. I could not have gone another. I was like,
I need a 60 minute. I could not have gotten another 20 minutes.
(07:07):
I am very excited. My body might have just crumbled. And it's heated?
Actually, no. But I had to take off all the things. I was sweating.
Okay. You know I don't sweat. I don't get hot. Yeah, you don't.
I will wear... It'll be 80 degrees out and I will be in a sweatshirt. Yeah.
And I had to remove my sweatshirt. You had to unrobe. And then...
Yeah it was just okay i'm down to fuck around yeah oh my god i'm very excited so,
(07:34):
let's get into it let's do the damn thing i'm jenna
i'm jess and just so you know there's a trigger warning for suicide smuicide
yes we'll stop that yeah uh it is rough yeah so if it's It's a weird, hard one.
(07:55):
So don't listen to this if you're in a dark place.
Don't listen to it if maybe you're going to be triggered by suicide,
because I know that listening to this was very triggering for me,
or researching it was really triggering.
So yeah, today we're going to be talking about Teal Swan,
who is a new age spiritual influencer who
(08:16):
covers everything from breathing techniques and
trauma recovery to beauty tips and crypto
investing she's just like throwing it
all on the wall to see wait a minute is she like
more recent okay i think i've heard of her probably because she is first of
(08:37):
all gorge yeah she's got like these green eyes okay she's got these green eyes
it's like long dark auburn hair she's like beautiful,
has a very magnetic presence and actually like a really weird voice.
Oh, I kind of like a weird voice. I kind of like, so I know it doesn't even
sound like that. I don't, it's really hard, but like if you ever listen to her speak,
(08:59):
I don't know. I instantly dislike her by the sound of her voice. What?
Yeah. I'm like, ew, I don't like you. But I can see how some people could really
be drawn into kind of this like.
Do you remember? And I've told you this before. Do you remember that girl who
did the Jake Gyllenhaal interview?
(09:19):
Star. Oh, Starley kind. Yeah. Yeah.
No, not her. I love her voice. I do love her voice.
And she has a little bit of a lisp. oh my gosh we'll
have to post to this there's this amazing podcast called i
think it's called mystery show oh so good and there's
this one where she goes like we need more episodes to find
out how tall jake gyllenhaal is and the guy is like the only thing i will accept
(09:43):
is if i hear from his mouth how tall jake gyllenhaal is yeah so she like tracks
down jake gyllenhaal to ask him his height and he's very coy with her yeah and
i was like getting flustered i was like oh do i like
jake gyllenhaal again no you know what just hearing it though
i was like oh my god he's so if i am if
i am experiencing blush secondhand sweats you
(10:05):
know she's experiencing firsthand sweats and she just kept her cool she did
she was a very good journalist she's a very good journalist yeah you told me
you're six seven i'll totally believe that yeah i'm telling my i'm tell the
world now just because he's not six seven no he's not but if you want to know
how tall he is you You got to listen to the podcast.
But long story long, she has like a lispy kind of really unique voice.
(10:30):
And I think it's a thing.
If anybody out there has a thing for lisps.
Let me know because I feel real weird. I don't think I met another single person.
Like, I don't have fetishes.
I don't have blah, blah, blah. But if you kind of talk weird or have like a
little sight, I don't know. Like, I just I don't know.
(10:51):
It doesn't. It doesn't for me. No.
She does not talk like that. Oh, OK. Sorry about that. She talks the whole time. I'm going to have to.
I'll have to figure out how to make you listen. Yeah.
Once you hear it, you're going to be like, oh, fuck. No. know so anyway even
in events with like hundreds of people in the audience she speaks one-on-one
(11:11):
with people and she very well could have intuitive abilities which helps her
connect with these people and guide them however she is also a crock of shit
and she's dangerous as hell damn.
I thought i was gonna like her okay did
you at first i did oh my god okay so teal
was born mary teal bosworth on june 16th
(11:32):
1984 in new mexico before moving with her
family to logan Utah another Utah what the fuck
is going on in Utah I know everything and you
know what's funny is that there are non-Mormon organizations
too up in Utah that were that's
weird I know so anyways her parents
who were park rangers did almost everything uh-huh I
(11:56):
think her dad was and her mom was like an educator but so
they did almost anything to like in their
ability to help her fit in with their mormon neighbors.
Who she claims wouldn't include
her yeah i could see that they're very
much they don't want they don't want to taint
the water essentially yes i guess in
(12:18):
her eyes but a friend who a
friend who was mormon was like i was like
raised with her we were like best friends yeah she's like i don't understand why
she felt that way i don't know what she's talking about interesting
i was thinking that maybe like they don't want
like bad influences or things
that you know that they don't align with to come in maybe and she seemed like
(12:40):
she so like as a kid she claimed to have extrasensory abilities and this she
thought ostracized her and she can't she claimed that kids wouldn't be allowed
to hang out with her because only men can be viewed as prophets in the Mormon church.
And because she was a girl experiencing these same symptoms, she was seen as evil.
(13:01):
Which I don't think was true.
I think she just is like, I don't know, huge. In my notes, it says huge eye roll.
Yeah. So Teal's parents would take them for summer in the campgrounds to get
them to connect with nature because they didn't want...
Her sitting inside watching tv all day they
bought her a horse and encouraged her to
(13:22):
work with a local intuitive animal heal healer as
an outlet because she loved animals so much and when
she said her daughter a horse is no
small feat yeah apparently
they had to get rid of it because she didn't take care of it what a
bitch no i'm really mad at her so she said
that her abilities got to be too much they took her to
(13:43):
a specialist in fucking china so i'm
angry when i when i say all of this i'm not
angry at them but like you'll see you'll see
how shit gets weird yeah so and this okay i
want to also say this this is definitely an overview of
teal swan and what she is and why she's dangerous
there is a really good podcast called the
(14:06):
gateway by jennings brown where they deep dive
into teal swan there's also a documentary called the deep end i don't know what
it's on right now if you can watch it but it's also very informative and also
fucking terrifying jeez so you can go seek out more information but this is just kind of a way to.
(14:26):
Put her on your radar so you also don't get duped for this shit so teal is struggling
and in 2006 six, she starts seeing a therapist named Barbara Snow.
Barbara Snow used repressed memory therapy and was heavily involved in the satanic
panic of the late 80s and had already gotten in trouble for using questionable techniques.
(14:48):
Later, it was real, she used these techniques on her family,
which is a huge no-no. No, yeah, yeah.
So repressed memory therapy is a V controversial modality.
Our brains aren't accurate recording devices, and this modality suggests that
through Through hypnosis, guided imagery, or age regression meditations,
a subject can uncover a past trauma that they have suppressed that resulted in unwanted behavior.
(15:13):
It's been largely discredited and has resulted in people falsely believing they
were victims of sexual abuse and had to deal with the consequences of that falsely implanted memory.
Do you know who I'm thinking of right now? Oh my god, actually there's a trigger
warning for sexual abuse too.
Who are you thinking of? I'm thinking of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Yeah.
(15:34):
Are you there yet? No, yeah. Yeah, Whitney Rose. Yeah. Yeah.
That's exactly what I'm thinking of right now. Okay.
Possibly but also so people do
repress memories however the difference
is is that you might have a repressed memory and
something starts to unearth it however if you just go in to a therapist and
(15:58):
they're like let's do this repressed memory theory or therapy on you and you
don't have one and they're highly suggesting that something could have happened
you like because i think I think Whitney Rose's family has verified that something
did happen. That it was actual.
Oh, that's so bad.
Yeah. So I think that they have said that something did happen. Mm-hmm.
(16:19):
And she, because repressed memories are a thing. However, it's not like a blanket thing.
And a lot of times, depending on the therapist, they might not have a therapist
who has great ethics, who is like, will add leading questions.
This woman, Barbara Snow, almost all of her repressed memory cases had to do with satanic ritual.
(16:40):
Yeah, exactly. Okay, I was just going to say. Okay, there's that many people.
Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here.
I typically like a Barbara too. I love a Barb, except for her apparently.
I don't really know many Barbs, but Barbara Snow seemed to be implanting memories
of sexual assault, satanic ritual abuse, and forced medical testing in her patients.
(17:00):
Forced fucking medical testing?
Yeah, I don't know. Like a weird stranger thing as shit. So as a patient of
Snow's, Teal started to, quote, recover memories.
Those memories were that that intuitive vet that she worked with as a kid was
actually part of two rival satanic cults because he had split personalities.
One was a purely satanist cult.
(17:23):
The other one was a dark sect of the Mormon church that was looking for blood atonement.
Both were murdering young girls as a blood sacrifice. she
was sexually she was sexually
mentally physically and spiritually abused however
she was never killed because her abilities made her quote the
chosen one she claimed from the age of six until 19 she was just at the hands
(17:50):
of these two cults and at one point she was sewn into another human body and
left for hours which is technically impossible yeah what the fuck Look,
absolutely not.
She claims to have escaped. Go inside, like wearing a sleeve,
essentially, of another human's body. Yeah.
(18:13):
Just like i don't know it doesn't make sense no so she says that all this happens
just like right under her parents nose and that they had no idea because they
weren't really attentive which
like which is really fucked up yeah didn't they just drive you to china.
Didn't they just put you on their back and walk their asses to china didn't they put you on your
(18:36):
horse they bought you and got it the way
to china that is so fucked up to
paint your parents in a picture like i mean even
if they're not the most perfect parents and like her one of her best friends
in childhood that she grew up with the mormon even though she said that mormons
weren't allowed to hang out with her right was like i was with her during all
(18:57):
of these times and none of this happened there was no possible way that any
of this could have happened yeah see that's so So fucking stupid.
There's no way. That's so stupid.
That makes me mad. So Barbara Snow did call the authorities on Teal's behalf,
but authorities couldn't verify any of the allegations. Yeah,
because she fucking made it up.
Yeah. And reportedly, they did look into them.
(19:20):
Good. And then they closed the case because it was going nowhere.
All to find nothing. Yeah. So Teal claims that she had escaped sometime when
she was 19 and hid with an acquaintance named Blake at the time until she got back on her feet.
So she hides out with him for years, going through this repressed memory recovery and spiraling.
(19:40):
And Blake encourages her to get on YouTube to tell her story,
to share encouraging words, and inspire people who might be going through the same thing, I guess.
I need to look her up. Within a short time, Teal's page blows up,
and she starts coaching clients one-on-one and leading seminars,
retreats, collects a loyal group of followers who call themselves the Teal Tribe.
(20:01):
And she's literally throwing spaghetti at the wall. Her videos range from how
to stop a panic attack to how to manifest money, what is color therapy,
or one of her most popular is, quote, I want to kill myself.
What to do if you're suicidal. Oh, my God.
That's, um, she looks like she would write all those books. I got,
(20:21):
like, ragey and I, like, mispronounced them. Because I was like, ah!
I hate you. Psycho. She looks beautiful. She's beautiful. Scorch.
Beautiful. Help me connect the dots, though. Yeah. So in this video,
she superficially tells people who are feeling suicidal to seek medical attention.
(20:42):
She's like, okay, seek medical attention if you must, basically.
Basically but that then goes on to tell viewers that
suicide can be a reset button that is always available
oh my god are you fucking
kidding me which is egregious that is fucking terrible because it sets the wrong
expectation yes like you do not come back what's more for the record you do
(21:06):
not come back you do not come it is not a reset button no so what's more egregious is that
she has admitted to using SEO to drive suicidal browsers to her video.
What's even more egregious is that in the 27,000-member Facebook group,
at least one member has expressed a desire to end their life,
and the video was put in the comments, not in an asshole's trying to be funny
(21:29):
way, but like in a sincere way.
A week later, that member was dead. No.
That's fucking nasty. So that person's life, honestly, their blood is on her hands for sure.
Like it it's on that community's hands
for sure yeah a previous client of hers had also ended their life after teal
had told her she needed to either commit to life or to commit to death and then
(21:52):
she chose the latter in the documentary and at first and at the first at first
i was like okay when i was reading this i was like this is like very maybe,
interpretive or like how she says this maybe it's like misconstrued in the documentary
series or the docuseries, The Deep End.
There's like five minutes. These people are all coming up on stage and talking.
(22:15):
She's giving life advice.
And this woman is telling her about her depression. And she's like, why are you still here?
And the lady's like, well, like trying to clarify or articulate her question.
And she stops her and she's like, no, I mean, like, why are you still here on this planet?
Like play both sides out and make up your mind. Oh, my fucking God.
(22:35):
I was like, she's That is disgusting. Yeah. Within like the first like five
minutes of the documentary, I was like, the fuck? Rage.
Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. And how dare you put yourself,
like she positions herself to be like some sort of like. Authority. Yeah.
And she's out there telling people to off themselves essentially, like make a decision.
(22:55):
What are you doing here? Essentially insinuating that like you're so upset.
Why are you still here? Yeah. And I don't want to blame her.
Like, it's hard, like, with these sorts of feelings, I think that it's hard
to blame a person for causing someone to take their own life because obviously
there's a lot of other factors.
Yeah. But I think that she's at fault for peddling shit that's unproven and
(23:19):
presenting herself as an, like, as an authority who is not qualified to do a goddamn thing.
Yeah. But I say it is, you know, she's, there's some, she had a,
she had a part to play in the whole thing.
Yeah. Like, anybody that even suggests that as an option, you fucking,
like, get out of here. You're disgusting. Get out of there.
(23:39):
And when you're at rock bottom and you're on the internet and it funnels you
to horror. It looks like a good option.
And she looks like it's a lifeline, but, like. It's a reset button.
A reset button. Fuck off. Get the fuck off. And I want to be clear that these
views on suicide are not up to date with current research.
And there's no such, like, let's try that again.
Like, this isn't. There is no. No, I've never heard that in my life. No.
(24:02):
And honestly, we don't, there isn't much research on suicide.
It's underfunded and super lacking.
But what is known is that the mention of suicide in media and suicides within
a community increases the chance of subsequent suicides. Yeah.
Like you're giving it light. People think about it.
People, there are whole groups that talk about how they're going to do it.
(24:24):
And people are like, you should like, this is like, this is what I would suggest.
Like they're yeah like it's it's really dark
and it's really fucking sad and i don't
know i just wish that they didn't exist i wish that people just
had access to the help yeah so the
national suicide prevention lifeline yes there are people there to talk to so
(24:47):
if this is bringing up some weird feelings you can call that there is the number
is 1-800-273-8255 and then i'll repeat Repeat that at the end again.
Yes, you will. If I remember.
I'll remind you. Okay, yeah, remind me.
Because did I have to scroll all the way back in my notes? Yeah,
but it was a worthy scroll. Because I got lazy. I said I got lazy and in my
(25:09):
notes I put scroll to the end.
Rather than just putting it in there. That's a woman who knows her song. I know.
That is so funny. But yeah, no, that's fucking disgust, honestly.
And I think because I am so lucky to never have had an experience where anybody
that I know personally or have been close with has chosen that.
(25:35):
But one of my very best friends had a very, very close family member do that.
And it's fucking earth shattering.
It is so sad.
It's so sad. Get the help you need, guys, or call that number.
Okay, let's go. Oh, no, I just like zoned for a minute and was like, oh, yeah, zombied.
(25:59):
Okay, so in 2016, she wrote a book called The Completion Process,
which details her method for recovering and healing from lost trauma.
It's a mixture of Barbara Snow's recovered memory technique and Carl Jung's shadow work.
And she holds retreats where she guides people through the completion process.
Some exercise include partner work where one person is channeling the energy of the abuser.
(26:21):
And oftentimes it gets really intense and people believe
that they are momentarily possessed by the spirit of the
abuser the fuck i know
there's also an optional exercise where
a person is held underwater and only let up
sporadically for air in the documentary
it's very alarming and i'm not sure how
(26:42):
they do this because it's a super liability yeah that's
trauma but fucking thing holding
me underwater yeah and then like afterwards she's like
cradling her and she's like i love you oh my
god i don't know it's so
fucking weird that is crazy i i like i was this close to taking your life but
(27:05):
i love you yeah it's fucking weird it's weird so there are no met there have
been no medical studies on the effectiveness effectiveness of the completion
process and And again, Teal is not a licensed professional,
medical, psychiatric, or otherwise to perform any sort of group therapy sessions, which she does.
And in one scene, which angers me so much, one guy is like, if you're at the
(27:31):
top, where do you get your inspiration? Where do you get your information from?
And she is so mad. And she's like, why should someone be above me?
No one is more enlightened than me. So I only look up to myself.
And which is like so fucking nerve.
Yeah. It's like so dangerous because she's like, I don't I'm the most enlightened being on this planet.
(27:53):
So why would anybody be above me? Why would anyone be above me?
And he's like, I just find I'm having a hard time with like thinking like you
don't like you think that you're the main authority and like there's no like
there's above you to like keep you in check.
And she's like, why would I need to be kept in check because I'm a woman?
No, don't turn it into something it's fucking not. Uh-huh. That's some low-hanging fruit you just grabbed.
(28:17):
Do not even. Do not. Yeah. And
I really do believe is that she keeps her students not by healing them,
but keeping them in a trauma loop where she's constantly like re-traumatizing
them and making them relive their experience,
but telling them it's for their benefit.
That is so fucking crazy. But like some of the things that she's doing by doing
(28:38):
this recovered memory process is implanting, of course, memories of sexual abuse
and satanic ritual abuse that didn't happen.
And now these people think that it happened.
And so they're literally feeling like a victim. They isolate themselves from
their family members because they think that they've abused them.
Yeah. And so now she's their only lifeline. And it's so dangerous.
(28:58):
Oh, my God. I literally didn't even think of that. You push the people away
that are close to you because you think that they've hurt you.
But those are the people also that would say like, Like, hey,
this is not right. Yeah, this isn't right. Red flag, red flag.
Yeah. So in 2018, a six-part investigative podcast called The Gateway by Jennings
Brown was released that questioned Teal's qualifications and the message that
(29:23):
she was putting out there.
She was not stoked on it. No, I bet. I suggest – I'll put it in the show notes if I do show notes.
But actually, no, I will for this one because I think this one's important.
Yeah, because you're going to put the phone number for the suicide prevention
line. So I encourage everyone to listen for context and figure out how dangerous she really is.
And Jennings Brown argues that as long as mental health services in this country
(29:46):
remain unavailable to people,
people will turn to like personalities like Teal who are not qualified whatsoever
to be giving advice or guidance rather than something that they're not sure
is it's not quite working.
So they're going to like figure something else out. Right. And they're not aware that it's not working.
(30:09):
In the podcast, he also asked her how she feels about being labeled a cult leader.
And this is her response. Did she love it? This is a quote. No.
This is a quote. I can't do her voice because it's like.
But she says, what do I say to people saying I run a cult?
Here's the thing. A lot of people are going to demonize me because of my honesty.
I have a perfect recipe for a cult and I fucking know it. I have a demographic
(30:33):
of people who are miserably isolated, who need belonging desperately,
and that's what makes me safe.
These people are desperate. They need my approval.
They will do whatever the hell I say. The only reason that it is not steered
that way is because of my ethics.
Your fucking ethics? Yeah.
Who thinks this shit? Who says it out loud? I know. Who goes on record?
(30:56):
Yeah, who goes on record being like, I have the perfect recipe for a cult?
And I know it. I know these people would do anything for me.
These people are desperate. They fucking need me.
Yeah. Get the fuck out of here, you wretched human being. How do you,
as her followers, not be a little bit, like, offended?
Literally, I'm like, did you think that your followers are not going to listen
to this? They live and breathe you. You're essentially calling them idiots.
(31:18):
Well, she's also being like, I'm misrepresented. So in the 2022 docuseries called
The Deep End, it shows Teal trying to somewhat like come back from the picture
that the Gateway had painted.
And it's so chilling. It's another good watch.
But it also has been accused of taking dramatic license not only from Teal but
(31:40):
from like other people that are like this is edited like super dramatically.
But in it, she asks her followers to sign a contract to, quote,
keep her safe by giving up basically all autonomy. Red flag. She doesn't want kids.
Significant others will also be required to sign the contract.
And what the contract says is that what she wants goes above everything.
Above everything. Right.
(32:02):
And it's yeah red fucking
why yeah so it's good to
be wary of someone like this but she's also
fucking nuts she claims to
be a medical savant that she can look at you and
know how your liver is processing and how your cells are
working lord help me understand it
(32:24):
doesn't know like in the documentary she
berates one woman for the thoughts she was having that were
unfavorable because she's psychic she like lists
off she's like teal is the worst teal is
this teal is this like all these things that she says that
the woman has thought and just like she's on a rail to her she's like i'm psychic
i fucking know that you don't like me yeah she was like excuse me crazy like
(32:49):
what the fuck uh-huh she also says that she has access to the akashic records and And wait, hold on.
Akashic. The Akashic records are a collection of all thoughts,
words, emotions, actions, and intent that have ever happened,
are happening, or will happen in the past, present, or future.
(33:09):
So she says that she knows all, basically. She's an all-knowing being.
She also has claimed to be half human, half alien, specifically a member of
the panel of Arcturian beings who exist in a six-dimensional non-physical plane.
She asserts that if there's anyone who is superior to her on this planet,
(33:33):
she hasn't met them, and therefore nobody should question her authority.
Her mission, in her own words, is to be more spiritually influential than the Pope.
Oh my god. She is fucking crazy. I am not a super Catholic person.
I am Catholic, but I'm not super, you know, whatever. but i feel
like anybody who compares themselves to somebody so high
(33:54):
like it's fucking crazy crazy talk and
so she's so dangerous i know her parents so my oh
i know her poor parents are they still alive they are still
alive and they support her which i i don't
know how she so her friend there's an
email hold on let me see
if i can find it so her friend diana hansen is the friend that from girl with
(34:20):
her she i guess had run into teal at a park and she was like oh my god like
i can't we're like hooking up again like oh this is like so cool yeah she emails her.
She emails her and is like, hi, it's Teal. Fun seeing you again.
(34:40):
For some reason, I don't believe in coincidence.
Our lives continue to run parallel. I realize going through a divorce is really
hard, 30 times harder with a child. But even so, you seem really happy.
OK, I'm going to skip over things. It's a nice city. Hi, it's Teal.
Fun seeing you again. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
She says, it's very hard for me to explain the whole thing without going into
(35:01):
detail tale that makes people shut down.
And it's hard for me to tell the entire story without getting set off, etc.
This is the letter Mark, her husband at the time, sent to his mother about it,
about why she left and came back.
He, being logical like he is, is coming from a third person perspective,
is better at explaining the overview to people.
(35:21):
I figured this would be the best way. so she basically
sends her a cc of this
email that is from her husband at
the time to his mom and details all of
her like bullshit story so
this is like how she did it but people have said this
is this teal's so this is teal's ex-husband
(35:45):
wrote this supposedly wrote this to his mom to his mom but
people have compared her writing style with the style of
the email they think that she actually crafted
the email and he just sent it yeah but it basically
lists all of the things from it's
like there is a list that says from age
6 to 19 teal was and this is
(36:07):
a huge trigger warning for all the things so maybe just like skip ahead 30 seconds
if you don't want to if you don't want to listen was tortured
physically and sexually in rituals forced to participate in
sacrifices raped starved forced to undergo
three abortions photographed for sadomasochistic pornography
sold for money for sold for money to men for sex out of a gas outdoor gas station
(36:30):
bathroom kept in basements kept in a hole in the ground exposed to electroshock
programming forced to undergo isolation torture left overnight and tied up in
lava caves in southern in Idaho,
forced to participate in bestiality and necrophilia, drugged out on ketamine.
Chased through the Idaho and Utah wilderness by this vet who was usually on
(36:55):
one of his mules playing tracking games in which he would hunt her and undergo
many heinous tortures if she was caught,
used as a lure to other children that ended up being hurt or on three reoccasions killed,
and the list goes on. I'm literally...
Then there is a fucking loss for words. Like you can't.
(37:18):
I almost was going to say you can't make this shit up. She did.
She did. She did. She literally did. Like it's so fucking outlandish.
There's a lot of like background history on like this lore too where she's like
satanic people are more into holidays than even Christians are.
They observe solstice and equinox and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Or like blood atonement for those who don't know is blah, blah.
(37:42):
Like she just goes on the history oh blood atonement remains an important doctrine
within the mormon fund within mormon fundamentalism with a meat within mainstream mormonism.
Lds has informally opined
since 1978 the doctrine is
no longer in force like it's just like who's writing
(38:05):
this to their mother i don't fucking know teal was writing
this to her ex-husband's mother yeah so
it's just i didn't even
know she was married i didn't even know that somebody she's had like 10 million
husbands i don't know i don't care how many husbands she's had
or whatever but drinking the kool-aid yeah but
yeah so that is basically my entire coverage on
(38:28):
teal swan i encourage everyone to look into it with
a skeptical eye to listen to the podcast cast to read
the docuseries or watch the docuseries and
she's still out because i don't want to claim to be the authority on all the
things because there was so much stuff and none of it makes sense
no so this is a bit of an overview so that you can kind of just alert alert
(38:48):
don't get dip your toes in so you know what's fucked up so that so you recognize
bullshit when you see it yeah what a terrible fucking human being yeah and she's
still teal swanning somewhere where
she lived yeah she's so i i think that she has a retreat center in costa rica
but i think mostly utah oof i know all right well i know what should we call
(39:13):
this one i don't even know.
I didn't even think about it i'm tails nothing is fucking true a huge fucking
liar yeah you definitely did not get sewn into a human body yeah you fucking
stupid fucking liar like Like, do you hear yourself?
Do you hear yourself? Do you hear yourself, Teal? Yeah.
(39:34):
Do you hear yourself? Do you not, like, get taken aback by what you are yourself
saying? Like, it doesn't make sense.
I mean, at least, like, if you're going to lie, make them, like,
reasonable lies. Right.
This lady does not know how to lie to save her life. No. But people still are
eating it up. People still listen.
(39:55):
Because they're in a desperate space. And that's the thing. She's even,
she's put it out there. She has said, these people are desperate.
They will listen to anything.
Fucking piece of shit. Yeah, exactly. Fucking piece of shit.
That is the name. Teal is a fucking piece of shit. Piece of shit, swan.
Woof all right we hope she gets diarrhea i hope she gets diarrhea out of her
(40:18):
ears out of all the orifices her nose so she has to smell it as it's coming
chunky diarrhea through her urethra,
why did i have to say i don't know i think a nose would be worse i think it's
just all about yeah you're right a nose would be worse but it'd be painful through
wouldn't it also be painful for your nose i just can't imagine i just hate vomiting
(40:39):
in general but if it was poop whoa Whoa. We're the fuck worse.
Get diarrhea. Well, maybe we do need to get on the witchcraft. Yeah. No.
You really wouldn't. You wouldn't give Teal Swan diarrhea.
Revenge diarrhea. I would. I actually would give Teal Swan revenge diarrhea. Absolutely.
(41:00):
See, you're right. There we go. Me and Teal Swan. It's easier than I thought
to practice black magic. Yeah.
Don't let me. because you'll just be fucking diarrhea-ing everywhere.
We have a list of now 30 people. Yeah, that we would give. Yeah.
Just the worst diarrhea out of all the orifices.
(41:21):
The worst diarrhea. And that would be like the ultimate like during the worst
time, by the way, not just diarrhea at any moment.
It's like at the time when you should not be having the worst diarrhea.
It's at a time where you are having to feel very vulnerable and you're like
when you need to go get a massage, but you can't relax because you have diarrhea.
(41:44):
You're going in for a job interview. Diarrhea. You're the maid of honor at your
best friend's wedding. Diarrhea. Out your eyes.
Out of your eyes and nose. Yeah. Diarrhea through your tear ducts.
You know, like those scary movies where like kids and like adults and old people,
they like bleed from the eyes and everyone's like, ah, like an exorcism or something. Diarrhea.
(42:05):
That's. That would be. Okay. All right. Maybe we need. Things to do. Black magic diarrhea.
Check. We're going to. We're on it. we're gonna add to cow.
Figure it out if you practice
witchcraft hit us up and tell us what candles and
ingredients we need do we need like a lock of hair do we just need like one
(42:29):
of those like do we need one of those like voodoo dolls that come out of a vending
machine I mean we can make shit happen the lock of hair I don't think I don't
think we're gonna get a lock of hair but can we use like some leaves
i can draw yeah i can
craft really well so like tell me what i need to
craft anything up with a glue gun oh yeah mine
(42:52):
is broken i need a replacement but like so cheap now
i love it so much okay all right
well thanks for listening thanks for listening
uh which has hit us up the phone number
again oh yes yes yes yes yep so again for
those in the back who were like i didn't catch that really fast if you were
struggling with suicide suicidal thoughts or depression please call the national
(43:16):
suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 please and we love you we love
you don't do anything crazy.
Music.
What should we call this one i don't even
know i didn't even think about it until nothing is fucking true a huge fucking
liar yeah one is also you definitely did not get sewn into a human body yeah
you fucking stupid fucking liar like do you hear yourself do you hear yourself.
(00:21):
Music.
So i don't know when this one will come out but what
did well i guess we already kind of talked about it we just had like a
(00:43):
crazy week where we did all the things just
as continuing to do all i don't know why i do
this to myself but am i going to yes so today
was supposed to be my day so okay let's move it
back saturday my day started at
six i don't know a.m had to
be on the soccer field by seven was late was
(01:04):
very late coach was mad he was mad mad was
on the feet did not leave the field because we had two
games for this tournament on saturday so we did not leave
the field until about three-ish and then
ended up going home
for all of five minutes oh no picking up shepherd
stopped by you guys because you guys have the ship going home
(01:28):
for all about five minutes maybe an hour only to get ready again and go to a
party and start the day over all so sunday morning it literally was sunday morning
woke up at 6 23 rolled out of bed and maybe I think I'm wearing these pants
that morning. I honestly don't. It was a blur.
(01:49):
Killed it though, our tournament that day. We didn't lose miserably.
Oh my God, Jamo. Oh, that was the worst part of the Saturday.
We lost both tournaments. So Jamo like fucking fell apart and was a shell of
a human and just was like, he was earth scorching essentially.
Nobody was safe. When I got back in the car from picking up Shepard,
by the way, you know what I was met with?
(02:11):
You, and like, Like, like, full blown.
I'm like looking over at Aldridge. I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
Did he know that everyone had popsicles without him? No, but he was like,
I couldn't. I should have.
Oh, my God. That would have just that would have sent him. He would have ejected
himself. He's looking for the eject button out of this car.
(02:32):
No, he was like, you said you were only going to say hi and hang for a second.
So that is literally what we did. And I said, I gave you the option to come
with us. I even left these doors unlocked for you.
You can come out. Yeah, you saw them and you saw them go back, literally.
And so it was just like the most fucking painful. I couldn't,
(02:54):
I could not with JMO's just whole body on Saturday.
And then Sunday woke up went to our 7 45 a.m game had to be on the field set
seven only to do it all over again and it was 7 a.m game 10 a.m brunch with my mom for mother's day,
(03:14):
2 p.m meet up with Justin and Maybel are like
good buddies that don't live down here they
were in the because they had jujitsu tournaments and then
5 p.m we had to meet up with Aldridge's parents for
mom's birthday i can't
fucking handle myself i guess what i did today i
thought i was gonna go home and get horizontal after dropping off the kids nope
(03:38):
i got a calendar reminder i had to go get my freaking botox i get botox everybody
should get botox i mean i think that everyone knows at this point if they look
yeah yeah that's true wait what was it that we were like Like where someone
had unpaid bills and you were like, well,
let me tell you about how much Botox costs.
But oh, who was that? Oh, my God.
(04:01):
It was that one lady, the murderer who like escaped to Mexico.
Maybe I honestly can't even. Or South America. Where did she go? I don't remember.
Kaylin Armstrong. Not paying her Botox bill. It's expensive.
You know how much it costs for my Botox? Well, you told us last time.
(04:23):
I don't remember what it was, a three something.
Yeah, well, I pay three something out of pocket. However, the amount of Botox
that I get, I see what the bill is.
It's like $2,500 per cent. Ah, gross. Uh-huh.
I mean, that's what insurance has to pay, so. Yeah. They probably gouge them. It's fine.
But yeah, and so I had to go down to La Jolla today to go get the Botox.
(04:48):
And then I went to Home Depot. And then I had to go home to go home. And then I came here.
Yeah. We were just like churning them out.
Jess is currently not working, so we get to record during the day. It's so nice.
Yeah, I'm currently not working. I do not have job until – well,
I have job, but it doesn't start until the 11th of June.
(05:11):
So I get to do all this.
I have just some time to myself that I clearly cannot manage, and I just sit.
Sit or i just i think when i think
i'm gonna be able to sit and do not a goddamn thing i'm doing
all the goddamn thing you can do nothing tomorrow you booked i booked a degree
class do you want to go see if it's available see if it's available two in a
(05:36):
row that was so yes you can you won't be able to with that attitude but yes
you can that was so intense honestly i am so
excited i know but when you're
shaky you're very strong i'm like oh
my god i'm gonna fucking be shaky like it's gonna
kill me oh my god i'm gonna do
(05:56):
it die yeah let's die together wait now because
tomorrow i'm gonna go to yoga what where yoga sucks
oh north carl's bad their power is good is it available tomorrow at nine hopefully
not yeah it is damn it okay i just really wanted you to double up no i don't
hate myself you're gonna yeah you would you would hate yourself yeah.
(06:20):
I'm like shaky i don't know that i'll be able to do two days in a row that is
so exciting i yeah if that's the case if i go and i fucking love it i'm just
gonna sign up i had to take so many breaks oh my god that excites me and then
she'd call me out and i'd be like oh they call What does she say? Well, not everybody.
Well, she would be like, knees up, ladies. You can do it. And I'd be like, no.
(06:44):
You're like looking at your knees. You're like, she's talking to me. I mean, I'm pretty.
She's addressing everybody, but she's talking to me. Yeah, I'm like pretty fucking
fit. You are. It's really hard.
Oh, my God. That excites me. I'm going to die.
You know what? I love being sore. And it was 40 minutes and it felt longer. Yeah.
Do they play music? Yeah. I could not have gone another. I was like,
I need a 60 minute. I could not have gotten another 20 minutes.
(07:07):
I am very excited. My body might have just crumbled. And it's heated?
Actually, no. But I had to take off all the things. I was sweating.
Okay. You know I don't sweat. I don't get hot. Yeah, you don't.
I will wear... It'll be 80 degrees out and I will be in a sweatshirt. Yeah.
And I had to remove my sweatshirt. You had to unrobe. And then...
Yeah it was just okay i'm down to fuck around yeah oh my god i'm very excited so,
(07:34):
let's get into it let's do the damn thing i'm jenna
i'm jess and just so you know there's a trigger warning for suicide smuicide
yes we'll stop that yeah uh it is rough yeah so if it's It's a weird, hard one.
(07:55):
So don't listen to this if you're in a dark place.
Don't listen to it if maybe you're going to be triggered by suicide,
because I know that listening to this was very triggering for me,
or researching it was really triggering.
So yeah, today we're going to be talking about Teal Swan,
who is a new age spiritual influencer who
(08:16):
covers everything from breathing techniques and
trauma recovery to beauty tips and crypto
investing she's just like throwing it
all on the wall to see wait a minute is she like
more recent okay i think i've heard of her probably because she is first of
(08:37):
all gorge yeah she's got like these green eyes okay she's got these green eyes
it's like long dark auburn hair she's like beautiful,
has a very magnetic presence and actually like a really weird voice.
Oh, I kind of like a weird voice. I kind of like, so I know it doesn't even
sound like that. I don't, it's really hard, but like if you ever listen to her speak,
(08:59):
I don't know. I instantly dislike her by the sound of her voice. What?
Yeah. I'm like, ew, I don't like you. But I can see how some people could really
be drawn into kind of this like.
Do you remember? And I've told you this before. Do you remember that girl who
did the Jake Gyllenhaal interview?
(09:19):
Star. Oh, Starley kind. Yeah. Yeah.
No, not her. I love her voice. I do love her voice.
And she has a little bit of a lisp. oh my gosh we'll
have to post to this there's this amazing podcast called i
think it's called mystery show oh so good and there's
this one where she goes like we need more episodes to find
out how tall jake gyllenhaal is and the guy is like the only thing i will accept
(09:43):
is if i hear from his mouth how tall jake gyllenhaal is yeah so she like tracks
down jake gyllenhaal to ask him his height and he's very coy with her yeah and
i was like getting flustered i was like oh do i like
jake gyllenhaal again no you know what just hearing it though
i was like oh my god he's so if i am if
i am experiencing blush secondhand sweats you
(10:05):
know she's experiencing firsthand sweats and she just kept her cool she did
she was a very good journalist she's a very good journalist yeah you told me
you're six seven i'll totally believe that yeah i'm telling my i'm tell the
world now just because he's not six seven no he's not but if you want to know
how tall he is you You got to listen to the podcast.
But long story long, she has like a lispy kind of really unique voice.
(10:30):
And I think it's a thing.
If anybody out there has a thing for lisps.
Let me know because I feel real weird. I don't think I met another single person.
Like, I don't have fetishes.
I don't have blah, blah, blah. But if you kind of talk weird or have like a
little sight, I don't know. Like, I just I don't know.
(10:51):
It doesn't. It doesn't for me. No.
She does not talk like that. Oh, OK. Sorry about that. She talks the whole time. I'm going to have to.
I'll have to figure out how to make you listen. Yeah.
Once you hear it, you're going to be like, oh, fuck. No. know so anyway even
in events with like hundreds of people in the audience she speaks one-on-one
(11:11):
with people and she very well could have intuitive abilities which helps her
connect with these people and guide them however she is also a crock of shit
and she's dangerous as hell damn.
I thought i was gonna like her okay did
you at first i did oh my god okay so teal
was born mary teal bosworth on june 16th
(11:32):
1984 in new mexico before moving with her
family to logan Utah another Utah what the fuck
is going on in Utah I know everything and you
know what's funny is that there are non-Mormon organizations
too up in Utah that were that's
weird I know so anyways her parents
who were park rangers did almost everything uh-huh I
(11:56):
think her dad was and her mom was like an educator but so
they did almost anything to like in their
ability to help her fit in with their mormon neighbors.
Who she claims wouldn't include
her yeah i could see that they're very
much they don't want they don't want to taint
the water essentially yes i guess in
(12:18):
her eyes but a friend who a
friend who was mormon was like i was like
raised with her we were like best friends yeah she's like i don't understand why
she felt that way i don't know what she's talking about interesting
i was thinking that maybe like they don't want
like bad influences or things
that you know that they don't align with to come in maybe and she seemed like
(12:40):
she so like as a kid she claimed to have extrasensory abilities and this she
thought ostracized her and she can't she claimed that kids wouldn't be allowed
to hang out with her because only men can be viewed as prophets in the Mormon church.
And because she was a girl experiencing these same symptoms, she was seen as evil.
(13:01):
Which I don't think was true.
I think she just is like, I don't know, huge. In my notes, it says huge eye roll.
Yeah. So Teal's parents would take them for summer in the campgrounds to get
them to connect with nature because they didn't want...
Her sitting inside watching tv all day they
bought her a horse and encouraged her to
(13:22):
work with a local intuitive animal heal healer as
an outlet because she loved animals so much and when
she said her daughter a horse is no
small feat yeah apparently
they had to get rid of it because she didn't take care of it what a
bitch no i'm really mad at her so she said
that her abilities got to be too much they took her to
(13:43):
a specialist in fucking china so i'm
angry when i when i say all of this i'm not
angry at them but like you'll see you'll see
how shit gets weird yeah so and this okay i
want to also say this this is definitely an overview of
teal swan and what she is and why she's dangerous
there is a really good podcast called the
(14:06):
gateway by jennings brown where they deep dive
into teal swan there's also a documentary called the deep end i don't know what
it's on right now if you can watch it but it's also very informative and also
fucking terrifying jeez so you can go seek out more information but this is just kind of a way to.
(14:26):
Put her on your radar so you also don't get duped for this shit so teal is struggling
and in 2006 six, she starts seeing a therapist named Barbara Snow.
Barbara Snow used repressed memory therapy and was heavily involved in the satanic
panic of the late 80s and had already gotten in trouble for using questionable techniques.
(14:48):
Later, it was real, she used these techniques on her family,
which is a huge no-no. No, yeah, yeah.
So repressed memory therapy is a V controversial modality.
Our brains aren't accurate recording devices, and this modality suggests that
through Through hypnosis, guided imagery, or age regression meditations,
a subject can uncover a past trauma that they have suppressed that resulted in unwanted behavior.
(15:13):
It's been largely discredited and has resulted in people falsely believing they
were victims of sexual abuse and had to deal with the consequences of that falsely implanted memory.
Do you know who I'm thinking of right now? Oh my god, actually there's a trigger
warning for sexual abuse too.
Who are you thinking of? I'm thinking of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Yeah.
(15:34):
Are you there yet? No, yeah. Yeah, Whitney Rose. Yeah. Yeah.
That's exactly what I'm thinking of right now. Okay.
Possibly but also so people do
repress memories however the difference
is is that you might have a repressed memory and
something starts to unearth it however if you just go in to a therapist and
(15:58):
they're like let's do this repressed memory theory or therapy on you and you
don't have one and they're highly suggesting that something could have happened
you like because i think I think Whitney Rose's family has verified that something
did happen. That it was actual.
Oh, that's so bad.
Yeah. So I think that they have said that something did happen. Mm-hmm.
(16:19):
And she, because repressed memories are a thing. However, it's not like a blanket thing.
And a lot of times, depending on the therapist, they might not have a therapist
who has great ethics, who is like, will add leading questions.
This woman, Barbara Snow, almost all of her repressed memory cases had to do with satanic ritual.
(16:40):
Yeah, exactly. Okay, I was just going to say. Okay, there's that many people.
Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here.
I typically like a Barbara too. I love a Barb, except for her apparently.
I don't really know many Barbs, but Barbara Snow seemed to be implanting memories
of sexual assault, satanic ritual abuse, and forced medical testing in her patients.
(17:00):
Forced fucking medical testing?
Yeah, I don't know. Like a weird stranger thing as shit. So as a patient of
Snow's, Teal started to, quote, recover memories.
Those memories were that that intuitive vet that she worked with as a kid was
actually part of two rival satanic cults because he had split personalities.
One was a purely satanist cult.
(17:23):
The other one was a dark sect of the Mormon church that was looking for blood atonement.
Both were murdering young girls as a blood sacrifice. she
was sexually she was sexually
mentally physically and spiritually abused however
she was never killed because her abilities made her quote the
chosen one she claimed from the age of six until 19 she was just at the hands
(17:50):
of these two cults and at one point she was sewn into another human body and
left for hours which is technically impossible yeah what the fuck Look,
absolutely not.
She claims to have escaped. Go inside, like wearing a sleeve,
essentially, of another human's body. Yeah.
(18:13):
Just like i don't know it doesn't make sense no so she says that all this happens
just like right under her parents nose and that they had no idea because they
weren't really attentive which
like which is really fucked up yeah didn't they just drive you to china.
Didn't they just put you on their back and walk their asses to china didn't they put you on your
(18:36):
horse they bought you and got it the way
to china that is so fucked up to
paint your parents in a picture like i mean even
if they're not the most perfect parents and like her one of her best friends
in childhood that she grew up with the mormon even though she said that mormons
weren't allowed to hang out with her right was like i was with her during all
(18:57):
of these times and none of this happened there was no possible way that any
of this could have happened yeah see that's so So fucking stupid.
There's no way. That's so stupid.
That makes me mad. So Barbara Snow did call the authorities on Teal's behalf,
but authorities couldn't verify any of the allegations. Yeah,
because she fucking made it up.
Yeah. And reportedly, they did look into them.
(19:20):
Good. And then they closed the case because it was going nowhere.
All to find nothing. Yeah. So Teal claims that she had escaped sometime when
she was 19 and hid with an acquaintance named Blake at the time until she got back on her feet.
So she hides out with him for years, going through this repressed memory recovery and spiraling.
(19:40):
And Blake encourages her to get on YouTube to tell her story,
to share encouraging words, and inspire people who might be going through the same thing, I guess.
I need to look her up. Within a short time, Teal's page blows up,
and she starts coaching clients one-on-one and leading seminars,
retreats, collects a loyal group of followers who call themselves the Teal Tribe.
(20:01):
And she's literally throwing spaghetti at the wall. Her videos range from how
to stop a panic attack to how to manifest money, what is color therapy,
or one of her most popular is, quote, I want to kill myself.
What to do if you're suicidal. Oh, my God.
That's, um, she looks like she would write all those books. I got,
(20:21):
like, ragey and I, like, mispronounced them. Because I was like, ah!
I hate you. Psycho. She looks beautiful. She's beautiful. Scorch.
Beautiful. Help me connect the dots, though. Yeah. So in this video,
she superficially tells people who are feeling suicidal to seek medical attention.
(20:42):
She's like, okay, seek medical attention if you must, basically.
Basically but that then goes on to tell viewers that
suicide can be a reset button that is always available
oh my god are you fucking
kidding me which is egregious that is fucking terrible because it sets the wrong
expectation yes like you do not come back what's more for the record you do
(21:06):
not come back you do not come it is not a reset button no so what's more egregious is that
she has admitted to using SEO to drive suicidal browsers to her video.
What's even more egregious is that in the 27,000-member Facebook group,
at least one member has expressed a desire to end their life,
and the video was put in the comments, not in an asshole's trying to be funny
(21:29):
way, but like in a sincere way.
A week later, that member was dead. No.
That's fucking nasty. So that person's life, honestly, their blood is on her hands for sure.
Like it it's on that community's hands
for sure yeah a previous client of hers had also ended their life after teal
had told her she needed to either commit to life or to commit to death and then
(21:52):
she chose the latter in the documentary and at first and at the first at first
i was like okay when i was reading this i was like this is like very maybe,
interpretive or like how she says this maybe it's like misconstrued in the documentary
series or the docuseries, The Deep End.
There's like five minutes. These people are all coming up on stage and talking.
(22:15):
She's giving life advice.
And this woman is telling her about her depression. And she's like, why are you still here?
And the lady's like, well, like trying to clarify or articulate her question.
And she stops her and she's like, no, I mean, like, why are you still here on this planet?
Like play both sides out and make up your mind. Oh, my fucking God.
(22:35):
I was like, she's That is disgusting. Yeah. Within like the first like five
minutes of the documentary, I was like, the fuck? Rage.
Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. And how dare you put yourself,
like she positions herself to be like some sort of like. Authority. Yeah.
And she's out there telling people to off themselves essentially, like make a decision.
(22:55):
What are you doing here? Essentially insinuating that like you're so upset.
Why are you still here? Yeah. And I don't want to blame her.
Like, it's hard, like, with these sorts of feelings, I think that it's hard
to blame a person for causing someone to take their own life because obviously
there's a lot of other factors.
Yeah. But I think that she's at fault for peddling shit that's unproven and
(23:19):
presenting herself as an, like, as an authority who is not qualified to do a goddamn thing.
Yeah. But I say it is, you know, she's, there's some, she had a,
she had a part to play in the whole thing.
Yeah. Like, anybody that even suggests that as an option, you fucking,
like, get out of here. You're disgusting. Get out of there.
(23:39):
And when you're at rock bottom and you're on the internet and it funnels you
to horror. It looks like a good option.
And she looks like it's a lifeline, but, like. It's a reset button.
A reset button. Fuck off. Get the fuck off. And I want to be clear that these
views on suicide are not up to date with current research.
And there's no such, like, let's try that again.
Like, this isn't. There is no. No, I've never heard that in my life. No.
(24:02):
And honestly, we don't, there isn't much research on suicide.
It's underfunded and super lacking.
But what is known is that the mention of suicide in media and suicides within
a community increases the chance of subsequent suicides. Yeah.
Like you're giving it light. People think about it.
People, there are whole groups that talk about how they're going to do it.
(24:24):
And people are like, you should like, this is like, this is what I would suggest.
Like they're yeah like it's it's really dark
and it's really fucking sad and i don't
know i just wish that they didn't exist i wish that people just
had access to the help yeah so the
national suicide prevention lifeline yes there are people there to talk to so
(24:47):
if this is bringing up some weird feelings you can call that there is the number
is 1-800-273-8255 and then i'll repeat Repeat that at the end again.
Yes, you will. If I remember.
I'll remind you. Okay, yeah, remind me.
Because did I have to scroll all the way back in my notes? Yeah,
but it was a worthy scroll. Because I got lazy. I said I got lazy and in my
(25:09):
notes I put scroll to the end.
Rather than just putting it in there. That's a woman who knows her song. I know.
That is so funny. But yeah, no, that's fucking disgust, honestly.
And I think because I am so lucky to never have had an experience where anybody
that I know personally or have been close with has chosen that.
(25:35):
But one of my very best friends had a very, very close family member do that.
And it's fucking earth shattering.
It is so sad.
It's so sad. Get the help you need, guys, or call that number.
Okay, let's go. Oh, no, I just like zoned for a minute and was like, oh, yeah, zombied.
(25:59):
Okay, so in 2016, she wrote a book called The Completion Process,
which details her method for recovering and healing from lost trauma.
It's a mixture of Barbara Snow's recovered memory technique and Carl Jung's shadow work.
And she holds retreats where she guides people through the completion process.
Some exercise include partner work where one person is channeling the energy of the abuser.
(26:21):
And oftentimes it gets really intense and people believe
that they are momentarily possessed by the spirit of the
abuser the fuck i know
there's also an optional exercise where
a person is held underwater and only let up
sporadically for air in the documentary
it's very alarming and i'm not sure how
(26:42):
they do this because it's a super liability yeah that's
trauma but fucking thing holding
me underwater yeah and then like afterwards she's like
cradling her and she's like i love you oh my
god i don't know it's so
fucking weird that is crazy i i like i was this close to taking your life but
(27:05):
i love you yeah it's fucking weird it's weird so there are no met there have
been no medical studies on the effectiveness effectiveness of the completion
process and And again, Teal is not a licensed professional,
medical, psychiatric, or otherwise to perform any sort of group therapy sessions, which she does.
And in one scene, which angers me so much, one guy is like, if you're at the
(27:31):
top, where do you get your inspiration? Where do you get your information from?
And she is so mad. And she's like, why should someone be above me?
No one is more enlightened than me. So I only look up to myself.
And which is like so fucking nerve.
Yeah. It's like so dangerous because she's like, I don't I'm the most enlightened being on this planet.
(27:53):
So why would anybody be above me? Why would anyone be above me?
And he's like, I just find I'm having a hard time with like thinking like you
don't like you think that you're the main authority and like there's no like
there's above you to like keep you in check.
And she's like, why would I need to be kept in check because I'm a woman?
No, don't turn it into something it's fucking not. Uh-huh. That's some low-hanging fruit you just grabbed.
(28:17):
Do not even. Do not. Yeah. And
I really do believe is that she keeps her students not by healing them,
but keeping them in a trauma loop where she's constantly like re-traumatizing
them and making them relive their experience,
but telling them it's for their benefit.
That is so fucking crazy. But like some of the things that she's doing by doing
(28:38):
this recovered memory process is implanting, of course, memories of sexual abuse
and satanic ritual abuse that didn't happen.
And now these people think that it happened.
And so they're literally feeling like a victim. They isolate themselves from
their family members because they think that they've abused them.
Yeah. And so now she's their only lifeline. And it's so dangerous.
(28:58):
Oh, my God. I literally didn't even think of that. You push the people away
that are close to you because you think that they've hurt you.
But those are the people also that would say like, Like, hey,
this is not right. Yeah, this isn't right. Red flag, red flag.
Yeah. So in 2018, a six-part investigative podcast called The Gateway by Jennings
Brown was released that questioned Teal's qualifications and the message that
(29:23):
she was putting out there.
She was not stoked on it. No, I bet. I suggest – I'll put it in the show notes if I do show notes.
But actually, no, I will for this one because I think this one's important.
Yeah, because you're going to put the phone number for the suicide prevention
line. So I encourage everyone to listen for context and figure out how dangerous she really is.
And Jennings Brown argues that as long as mental health services in this country
(29:46):
remain unavailable to people,
people will turn to like personalities like Teal who are not qualified whatsoever
to be giving advice or guidance rather than something that they're not sure
is it's not quite working.
So they're going to like figure something else out. Right. And they're not aware that it's not working.
(30:09):
In the podcast, he also asked her how she feels about being labeled a cult leader.
And this is her response. Did she love it? This is a quote. No.
This is a quote. I can't do her voice because it's like.
But she says, what do I say to people saying I run a cult?
Here's the thing. A lot of people are going to demonize me because of my honesty.
I have a perfect recipe for a cult and I fucking know it. I have a demographic
(30:33):
of people who are miserably isolated, who need belonging desperately,
and that's what makes me safe.
These people are desperate. They need my approval.
They will do whatever the hell I say. The only reason that it is not steered
that way is because of my ethics.
Your fucking ethics? Yeah.
Who thinks this shit? Who says it out loud? I know. Who goes on record?
(30:56):
Yeah, who goes on record being like, I have the perfect recipe for a cult?
And I know it. I know these people would do anything for me.
These people are desperate. They fucking need me.
Yeah. Get the fuck out of here, you wretched human being. How do you,
as her followers, not be a little bit, like, offended?
Literally, I'm like, did you think that your followers are not going to listen
to this? They live and breathe you. You're essentially calling them idiots.
(31:18):
Well, she's also being like, I'm misrepresented. So in the 2022 docuseries called
The Deep End, it shows Teal trying to somewhat like come back from the picture
that the Gateway had painted.
And it's so chilling. It's another good watch.
But it also has been accused of taking dramatic license not only from Teal but
(31:40):
from like other people that are like this is edited like super dramatically.
But in it, she asks her followers to sign a contract to, quote,
keep her safe by giving up basically all autonomy. Red flag. She doesn't want kids.
Significant others will also be required to sign the contract.
And what the contract says is that what she wants goes above everything.
Above everything. Right.
(32:02):
And it's yeah red fucking
why yeah so it's good to
be wary of someone like this but she's also
fucking nuts she claims to
be a medical savant that she can look at you and
know how your liver is processing and how your cells are
working lord help me understand it
(32:24):
doesn't know like in the documentary she
berates one woman for the thoughts she was having that were
unfavorable because she's psychic she like lists
off she's like teal is the worst teal is
this teal is this like all these things that she says that
the woman has thought and just like she's on a rail to her she's like i'm psychic
i fucking know that you don't like me yeah she was like excuse me crazy like
(32:49):
what the fuck uh-huh she also says that she has access to the akashic records and And wait, hold on.
Akashic. The Akashic records are a collection of all thoughts,
words, emotions, actions, and intent that have ever happened,
are happening, or will happen in the past, present, or future.
(33:09):
So she says that she knows all, basically. She's an all-knowing being.
She also has claimed to be half human, half alien, specifically a member of
the panel of Arcturian beings who exist in a six-dimensional non-physical plane.
She asserts that if there's anyone who is superior to her on this planet,
(33:33):
she hasn't met them, and therefore nobody should question her authority.
Her mission, in her own words, is to be more spiritually influential than the Pope.
Oh my god. She is fucking crazy. I am not a super Catholic person.
I am Catholic, but I'm not super, you know, whatever. but i feel
like anybody who compares themselves to somebody so high
(33:54):
like it's fucking crazy crazy talk and
so she's so dangerous i know her parents so my oh
i know her poor parents are they still alive they are still
alive and they support her which i i don't
know how she so her friend there's an
email hold on let me see
if i can find it so her friend diana hansen is the friend that from girl with
(34:20):
her she i guess had run into teal at a park and she was like oh my god like
i can't we're like hooking up again like oh this is like so cool yeah she emails her.
She emails her and is like, hi, it's Teal. Fun seeing you again.
(34:40):
For some reason, I don't believe in coincidence.
Our lives continue to run parallel. I realize going through a divorce is really
hard, 30 times harder with a child. But even so, you seem really happy.
OK, I'm going to skip over things. It's a nice city. Hi, it's Teal.
Fun seeing you again. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
She says, it's very hard for me to explain the whole thing without going into
(35:01):
detail tale that makes people shut down.
And it's hard for me to tell the entire story without getting set off, etc.
This is the letter Mark, her husband at the time, sent to his mother about it,
about why she left and came back.
He, being logical like he is, is coming from a third person perspective,
is better at explaining the overview to people.
(35:21):
I figured this would be the best way. so she basically
sends her a cc of this
email that is from her husband at
the time to his mom and details all of
her like bullshit story so
this is like how she did it but people have said this
is this teal's so this is teal's ex-husband
(35:45):
wrote this supposedly wrote this to his mom to his mom but
people have compared her writing style with the style of
the email they think that she actually crafted
the email and he just sent it yeah but it basically
lists all of the things from it's
like there is a list that says from age
6 to 19 teal was and this is
(36:07):
a huge trigger warning for all the things so maybe just like skip ahead 30 seconds
if you don't want to if you don't want to listen was tortured
physically and sexually in rituals forced to participate in
sacrifices raped starved forced to undergo
three abortions photographed for sadomasochistic pornography
sold for money for sold for money to men for sex out of a gas outdoor gas station
(36:30):
bathroom kept in basements kept in a hole in the ground exposed to electroshock
programming forced to undergo isolation torture left overnight and tied up in
lava caves in southern in Idaho,
forced to participate in bestiality and necrophilia, drugged out on ketamine.
Chased through the Idaho and Utah wilderness by this vet who was usually on
(36:55):
one of his mules playing tracking games in which he would hunt her and undergo
many heinous tortures if she was caught,
used as a lure to other children that ended up being hurt or on three reoccasions killed,
and the list goes on. I'm literally...
Then there is a fucking loss for words. Like you can't.
(37:18):
I almost was going to say you can't make this shit up. She did.
She did. She did. She literally did. Like it's so fucking outlandish.
There's a lot of like background history on like this lore too where she's like
satanic people are more into holidays than even Christians are.
They observe solstice and equinox and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Or like blood atonement for those who don't know is blah, blah.
(37:42):
Like she just goes on the history oh blood atonement remains an important doctrine
within the mormon fund within mormon fundamentalism with a meat within mainstream mormonism.
Lds has informally opined
since 1978 the doctrine is
no longer in force like it's just like who's writing
(38:05):
this to their mother i don't fucking know teal was writing
this to her ex-husband's mother yeah so
it's just i didn't even
know she was married i didn't even know that somebody she's had like 10 million
husbands i don't know i don't care how many husbands she's had
or whatever but drinking the kool-aid yeah but
yeah so that is basically my entire coverage on
(38:28):
teal swan i encourage everyone to look into it with
a skeptical eye to listen to the podcast cast to read
the docuseries or watch the docuseries and
she's still out because i don't want to claim to be the authority on all the
things because there was so much stuff and none of it makes sense
no so this is a bit of an overview so that you can kind of just alert alert
(38:48):
don't get dip your toes in so you know what's fucked up so that so you recognize
bullshit when you see it yeah what a terrible fucking human being yeah and she's
still teal swanning somewhere where
she lived yeah she's so i i think that she has a retreat center in costa rica
but i think mostly utah oof i know all right well i know what should we call
(39:13):
this one i don't even know.
I didn't even think about it i'm tails nothing is fucking true a huge fucking
liar yeah you definitely did not get sewn into a human body yeah you fucking
stupid fucking liar like Like, do you hear yourself?
Do you hear yourself? Do you hear yourself, Teal? Yeah.
(39:34):
Do you hear yourself? Do you not, like, get taken aback by what you are yourself
saying? Like, it doesn't make sense.
I mean, at least, like, if you're going to lie, make them, like,
reasonable lies. Right.
This lady does not know how to lie to save her life. No. But people still are
eating it up. People still listen.
(39:55):
Because they're in a desperate space. And that's the thing. She's even,
she's put it out there. She has said, these people are desperate.
They will listen to anything.
Fucking piece of shit. Yeah, exactly. Fucking piece of shit.
That is the name. Teal is a fucking piece of shit. Piece of shit, swan.
Woof all right we hope she gets diarrhea i hope she gets diarrhea out of her
(40:18):
ears out of all the orifices her nose so she has to smell it as it's coming
chunky diarrhea through her urethra,
why did i have to say i don't know i think a nose would be worse i think it's
just all about yeah you're right a nose would be worse but it'd be painful through
wouldn't it also be painful for your nose i just can't imagine i just hate vomiting
(40:39):
in general but if it was poop whoa Whoa. We're the fuck worse.
Get diarrhea. Well, maybe we do need to get on the witchcraft. Yeah. No.
You really wouldn't. You wouldn't give Teal Swan diarrhea.
Revenge diarrhea. I would. I actually would give Teal Swan revenge diarrhea. Absolutely.
(41:00):
See, you're right. There we go. Me and Teal Swan. It's easier than I thought
to practice black magic. Yeah.
Don't let me. because you'll just be fucking diarrhea-ing everywhere.
We have a list of now 30 people. Yeah, that we would give. Yeah.
Just the worst diarrhea out of all the orifices.
(41:21):
The worst diarrhea. And that would be like the ultimate like during the worst
time, by the way, not just diarrhea at any moment.
It's like at the time when you should not be having the worst diarrhea.
It's at a time where you are having to feel very vulnerable and you're like
when you need to go get a massage, but you can't relax because you have diarrhea.
(41:44):
You're going in for a job interview. Diarrhea. You're the maid of honor at your
best friend's wedding. Diarrhea. Out your eyes.
Out of your eyes and nose. Yeah. Diarrhea through your tear ducts.
You know, like those scary movies where like kids and like adults and old people,
they like bleed from the eyes and everyone's like, ah, like an exorcism or something. Diarrhea.
(42:05):
That's. That would be. Okay. All right. Maybe we need. Things to do. Black magic diarrhea.
Check. We're going to. We're on it. we're gonna add to cow.
Figure it out if you practice
witchcraft hit us up and tell us what candles and
ingredients we need do we need like a lock of hair do we just need like one
(42:29):
of those like do we need one of those like voodoo dolls that come out of a vending
machine I mean we can make shit happen the lock of hair I don't think I don't
think we're gonna get a lock of hair but can we use like some leaves
i can draw yeah i can
craft really well so like tell me what i need to
craft anything up with a glue gun oh yeah mine
(42:52):
is broken i need a replacement but like so cheap now
i love it so much okay all right
well thanks for listening thanks for listening
uh which has hit us up the phone number
again oh yes yes yes yes yep so again for
those in the back who were like i didn't catch that really fast if you were
struggling with suicide suicidal thoughts or depression please call the national
(43:16):
suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 please and we love you we love
you don't do anything crazy.
Music.
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