April 8, 2024 • 26 mins
In this insightful episode, our hosts delve into the delicate subject of parenting in the digital age. They candidly discuss their apprehensions about their children's safety in the cyber world and iterate the significance of balancing their exposure to technology with safeguarding them from damaging online elements.
The talks underscore various challenges parents face when their children are deprived of devices like iPads, emphasising the need for enforced controlled usage. The episode further touches upon the early introduction of technology to children, and the potential damages stemming from undue exposure to digital platforms.
Highlights of the episode include discussions on implementing tangible efforts to protect young ones online. One host accentuates the criticality of teaching internet safety as earnestly as real-world safety. An interesting facet of the conversation is the recognition of unusual or secretive behaviour in children, suggesting problematic online engagements.
The dialogue interestingly points out how inappropriate online conduct and perpetrators have always existed, but the pervasiveness of current technology brings them abruptly into the spotlight. The episode ends with a call to prioritise ongoing dialogues about digital security for the young minds.
In the realm of parenting, social media and technology have evolved into prominent themes. This episode takes a deep plunge into personal experiences and generational variations on raising children in a highly interconnected world. Parents open up about the boons and potential pitfalls of introducing their progeny to social platforms and technology, encapsulating a common predicament faced by parents globally.
The parental perspectives shed light on the merits and demerits of early tech-introduction to kids and share personal rules about screen time. The conversation emphasises the importance of striking the right balance between offline experiences and screen time, bringing to fore the unbeatable value of human interaction versus the immense distraction caused by technology.
The episode wraps up with a thought-provoking question to the audience about the appropriate age to introduce kids to technology and if any specific restrictions are in place. The aim is to propel an open discussion and receive inclusive responses from various parental viewpoints.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Music.
(00:05):
Hey, we got Jam back, you know. We got Jam back. Back in the car.
You don't even need the introduction. Don't do that, man. You don't even need
the intro. I'm part of the furniture. Just me.
Bro, Nishi, what's this? Third time, no? This is the third time still.
Third? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not the last for sure. Champion the emperor. Yeah.
(00:25):
Hey! Last time I saw Jam, though, Jam was cussing me. What are you cussing me?
What are you cussing me? What are you cussing me?
What are you cussing me? What are you cussing me? What are you cussing me?
You don't want to bring it up. I hate us, kill us. Like that uncle.
So you people love garbage. Bro, I don't know.
You people love garbage. You people love garbage. We've actually forgotten.
You people love them better than us. But I hate. Anyway, how's your child this week?
(00:46):
Ask your girl, bro. Talk to me, man. What's up? Let's get into it.
We've flipped the position in about today.
Different position, but I still do the norm. So welcome to the Father's Playbook,
where we're exploring fatherhood one player at a time. I'm your host, Aaron.
Across from me today, we have... We have Els and across from me Shabwa Stoney
(01:07):
and we've got I would say a special guest but it's not that special no more
God punish you You're basically part of the FPB fam Nah, 100,
100 man Bro, you just gotta keep four chairs standard let me just be here,
every week we release something just know that I'm here Glad to be back guys
(01:28):
Nice to have you back Thank you From the get go I want to, just off camera,
you were showing us a video. Yeah.
I wanted you to, just for the viewer, just explain the video that we were watching.
So my work auntie sent me a video of kids and she showed her kids because they've
got iPads and they really misbehave.
(01:49):
Whenever she takes it away or threatens to take it away.
And the video, kind of like shocking. These kids are saying,
oh, I dare you, I dare you. Like, because the parents want to take away the iPads from the kids.
The kid is saying, I dare you. I dare you, I dare you. That's one of the,
it's a compilation of, of kids behaving really badly, telling their parents,
don't take away this iPad from me.
(02:10):
And honestly, yeah, Jude will never see an iPad.
Well, you reckon you're going to, bro, I used to say the same thing though.
I think it's that easy to salute crap. Of course not. Of course not.
He's definitely going to see an iPad for sure. But yeah. The age they're introduced to it.
Honestly, it's a big question mark. It's a big, big question mark because I
(02:31):
don't know if it's the idea, keep it away from him as long as possible and then, you know,
phase it in slowly but then everybody else is using the ipads you
don't want to be behind that's the way of the world right now there's so much
there's so many layers to unpick with it but i don't know man
your kids are a bit older like i was gonna say yeah for me it's like more more
times when like you want to try and do something quickly yeah and like they're
(02:53):
daddy daddy daddy daddy yeah let me just give that ipad quickly so i i buy a
couple a couple minutes or so So to do what I need to do.
That's when I kind of, obviously like a child's a child, isn't it?
We grew up watching cartoons and whatnot.
Playing outside and that. I feel like I don't see kids playing that.
No, it's different now. It's a bit more dangerous. We used to play on the road,
(03:14):
put jumpers on the roadside.
It's called peace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We forget it overnight,
come back and it's still there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, I don't see, I don't even see kids playing outside. No,
no, no. I think it's this iPad.
No, no. Because there's so much I go through. Because my oldest son,
so my girl's son, he's 13 innit yeah bro even with
him like to play outside like I start to worry because it's like you start to
(03:37):
feel like the area's living like is he gonna get groomed by the area boys yeah
they start he was even telling me the other day that one of his friends one
of them the boys like to him oh he bought chicken and chips the boy said to
him give me a chip a what give me a chip you're lying
no no chips chips yeah yeah that's how it starts but anything slow anything
slow anything slow anything slow.
(04:00):
To the 30 I don't want to find him honestly.
He's like give me a chip obviously he's got his own money but it's like different techniques.
It's the beginning of it it's like it's so subtle when it starts man honestly
I fear you know I fear you have to there has to be a balance I guess because
I think that's what we're at this digital age now I think.
(04:24):
The ipads are getting younger i don't know how how old is your one they're using ipads already
it's mad it's mad i think there just has to be
a balance now because you can't say you can't let and then let me play devil's
advocate as well so it's like like i was saying we watched cartoons and that
but it's like that's their place we was watching on tvs and the box tvs yeah
that's their place where they watch their cartoons so you don't want to kind
(04:47):
of take that take that away from them Also though,
like our parents or our parents' parents,
you know, they might not have watched TV the way we watch TV.
See, like what we are seeing now is like our generation of the TV,
like taking away from kids kind of thing.
Because we would run home and make sure we watch Dragon Ball Z at 5.30.
(05:09):
You know what I mean? Yeah.
But we know that time is that time. But we'll still go out and play because we wanted to play.
But those kids, when they were growing up, like our parents and our parents'
parents, they would go out and play all day. You know what I mean?
I mean, they were more social.
And that's another aspect of this is that our kids losing those skills of being like social.
I do like interacting with actual people because, you know, you even hear about
(05:31):
like young teenagers and stuff that are playing games all day and all of their
friends are, they're virtual, all their friends are online. Yeah.
And there's nothing wrong with having virtual friends. There isn't,
but that's not the real world.
You know, actually like speaking to people, you know what I mean?
I would hate it for my son to grow up but not know how to speak to girls or
make new friends. Do you know what I mean?
(05:55):
Genuinely speaking, because that's a, playing outside, like being with friends,
understanding people's different, like quirks and annoyances and weird things
or whatever, that's what makes you streetwise, streetwise, a grounded human being. Yeah, it's true.
So, I don't, I don't know what, I don't know what I'm going to do,
but I'm just, I'm going to, I'm going to ask God for the guidance.
Do you guys have like an age in mind where you'd say, okay, this is the age I'm going to give my,
(06:20):
a child a phone or this is the age i
think i've always said like if it comes to times where for me
it's more it's not for the apps and that one there for me
it's more so it's like if they start going to school maybe by themselves
and i need to be in touch with them i'll say
that's the age i'll start giving them a phone but if i'm dropping you school
or like what do you need a phone for realistically you've already got your tablet
(06:42):
so you don't need it for the apps you've got your tablet so what am i giving
you a phone for i hear that that's what that's for me per se what about you
that's a hard one bro but but i do i do understand what you're saying because,
if it is like that i don't see the not the point but i don't see why you need
it do you get what i'm trying to say if i'm not too well i don't think this
(07:04):
will happen but i'm not if i'm not too.
Involved there's a possibility obviously i'm gonna need to know like if
you're all right blah blah this and that but i wouldn't want
to be that parent anyway i would want to be about so i
don't I don't know I don't know the right age but this guy basically he's telling
us he'll give it a five nah bro you must be crazy man five I can see I was waiting
(07:24):
for her sweet 16 and I just yeah I just saying now y'all remember,
no way no way no way I'm scared bro like the world that we live in at the moment
yeah the things that you can see online what's your biggest fears though my
biggest bro just predators online fam trying to say like like more,
(07:47):
that's not taught with um with with controlling the phone like that that's taught
with again being street smart yeah actually interacting with people like having
a good relationship with your child I think anyway everything I'm saying is
based on like theory and what I've seen around me you know.
Genuinely I'm scared as you know going through things
to myself when will I give you the phone even an iPad honestly like
(08:10):
I don't know let me throw this in
there then so like cool you raised a good point about
like your son's online talking to strangers and not going outside so what's
the difference to that and like giving your child the door phone talking to
and she might end up talking to strangers online what you're talking gaming
(08:32):
side and then gaming yeah They're all talking to strangers, no? That's true.
No, but it's a bit different, though. It is true, but, you know,
to be honest, what's the difference?
I was watching some pro games. Protection. You obviously have that protection
where you can turn off the game. Do you know what I mean?
Like, it's a bit different. I think there's a, boy, you know,
people are deviant minds, so it's hard to say, but, you know,
(08:52):
with gaming, the majority of people that are online gaming are gaming.
They just want to play, just want to have a good time. No, no,
because my son's telling me about a story where there's,
like, a game, like roblox he was like he was like yeah there's
like a there's like a forum where they all yeah yeah
yeah he said some of the comments in there a bit weird and he thinks sometimes
like is this a child and luckily he's a bit witty
(09:15):
he's witty about it and he knows what's going about there was a case i read
the other day that someone got the first case of virtual rape rape i saw that
i was about to talk to you i didn't read into it did you read into it i watched
the documentary to be honest i looked at the headline and i thought to myself
this is clickbait because because how were you telling me you're, you get me,
but then it's almost like a naive point of view because in this day and age,
(09:39):
it's like anything is now possible with it, especially with this. I just, oh.
Nowhere safe, you know? No, it's not. Nowhere safe. I'm telling you,
I'm, maybe I'm naive, honestly speaking, yeah.
But I was thinking gaming, everybody there wants to just play games.
Nah, you'd be surprised, man. What are you going online to? There's weirdos
everywhere. There's weirdos everywhere.
(10:01):
I don't know if you don't know but your missus on that yeah bro it's like social
media for the pregnant ladies the stories bro,
I don't want to say we want the sponsorship
I think the app is great it's a fantastic idea it's really really good great
space for women to connect to speak of stories but some of the stuff our missus
(10:22):
tells me the stories especially the Americans the Americans I need to see this
but coming back to my point is
some of the like one person was posing something one time my
girl's like this is definitely a man they were saying oh one lady
was just complaining about something about her nipple yeah yeah and then someone
said oh yeah take a picture show us or something like what the hell they were
(10:46):
thinking like yo like who would type that peanut is an infiltrator too yeah
that's not who's on what nowhere is safe yeah even some of them youtube kids shows have have been,
I'm seeing all over the place that some of them are not.
But I genuinely think this is my main, my overriding point on this topic is
(11:06):
that even without those things,
you know, we would hear of kids going missing and bad stuff happening to kids
before this digital age began and the, the safeguarding, we have to replicate
it in this virtual world as well.
You know, only talk to people that you know.
You know, don't go where, you know, you're just invited randomly.
(11:28):
Don't talk to strangers. Do you understand? If you're unsure about anything,
speak to me and honestly know your child.
Like if you know your child really, really well, and you know what ticks them
off, what makes them behave differently,
what makes them secretive, what makes them open and stuff, you should be able
to spot, I'm hoping, I'm praying that you'll be able to spot some signs and
(11:49):
say, this is different behavior from my child.
You know because stuff from predators and stuff from from people that got sick minds,
we have to just face the reality of it they're all out there they're all out
there does that mean that our child won't be able to children won't be able
to do things they won't be able to go out and explore the world they just have
to be safe after that we have to find a balance and you know do you think it's worse now than,
(12:13):
how it was before though 100% you think so 100% look at now time's gone it's
always been there time's been
there but look how many people have been exposed it's always been there
been there bro you're right there's more light on it now sorry to cut you off
bro but there's more light on it now but I think it's always been there I think
there's been sickos out there no there's been sickos out there Nickelodeon.
(12:34):
Half of them producers at Nickelodeon and imagine,
we watch we watch that innocently yeah thinking nothing there's one girl came across it on TikTok,
there's one girl I think she was on that show Zoe 101 yeah that was the one
She's outside Nickelodeon Headquarters protesting Yeah yeah Because she said
(12:55):
she got abused And they basically Tried to hash it out Bro Bear with them Bear
with them Bear with the actors The child actors There's a list,
obvious nuts that's that's another thing i know we're talking about
like digital age and social media but that's another thing where it's
like with this acting thing i think like last week we're talking about modeling
getting your children yeah or the week before i can't remember when but even
(13:17):
that now you got it's not just it's not just you you know like you could go
with your child all the time all the time these predators they're everywhere
man they're everywhere so it's like,
what what can we put in place to try and not prevent it but try and prevent it in a sense.
Maybe build I think things like this like building communities man
where fathers could you know or parents as a whole like peanut like
(13:39):
you said it's infiltrated of course but originally it's still
that idea the idea is a great idea definitely for sure mothers to
connect you're making a speech to other people I think it's great my girl
was telling me the other day the amount of stuff she's learnt from peanut from other
mums that she didn't know before is great because like someone will
put up a problem and you get so much different opinions I think
an app like that is brilliant it's a brilliant idea honestly I didn't
(14:00):
even know about that I'm actually happy you said that and you can even connect even
that you start talking to strangers but you can connect with
mums in your area because a lot of mums are
going through it by themselves as well they ain't got bedroom it's nothing exactly
exactly for sure my missus she's made some friends
from peanut some people that we actually call friends it's
actually quite nice but I think with peanut there is that
kind of you hope and pray that no mothers are going to be like crazy but you
(14:24):
know you send pictures to each other you can talk like a little bit first and
I think also because you know women that are are giving birth are naturally
going to be older and stuff you just apply some common sense to it this person
yeah person seems weird I'm not going to go there your missus as well pointing out that,
send a picture of your nipple that's a bit mad that's a bit mad every woman
(14:44):
on the app knows what a nipple looks like why would you suspect for her do you know what I mean.
Would you not post your would you make her in the store for your for my child for my kid no no,
you know what I've been in two minds because sometimes I look at my daughter
the modelling status of the idiot you would do well as a model but then I just
(15:06):
fear too much the way I was raised,
it's like i was talking so much that there's dangers in that that i don't know
if i could put it on my child but to the people that's got the courage to do
it fair to them i just say put the right safeguarding thing techniques in place
yeah i think if i did yeah i'll be in control,
yeah yeah i think you know what i mean i'll be in control so i can kind of see
what's going on blah and blah the only thing is obviously you putting like things
(15:29):
out if your kid obviously someone knows what your kid looks like so you don't
know what could happen after i don't put out the last after hours or what not
but I'll be in control so at what age,
would you start that at what age it depends innit because at the moment let's
just say I'm taking pictures of my kid now.
And let's say like a company just sees us and says oh you know what should be good for like modelling,
(15:50):
I'm not going to say no to it do you know what I mean but I obviously go there
with a third eye to make sure everything's kind of safe but I wouldn't say no
to it you made a good point you know because you said everyone when you ask
a question everyone said no they won't put their child they won't create a page
for their children on social media but what about posting them on your own page,
I feel like I'm gonna when the time comes I'll be posting my
(16:11):
year everywhere I don't see how people can hide I'm still scared now bro
I understand the credit is online I'll be
honest in one sense on one hand I'm like come and try try a lot but on the other
hand I'm like it's too much of a blessing for me to do it's so much of a blessing
I do think this ultimately comes down to mindset the truth is like I said there's
(16:34):
crazy people everywhere, honestly, there's crazy people everywhere.
And when Jude was born, I thought I was going to post him a lot more than I
post him now, to be honest, but I've seen some stuff and I'll be honest,
it does, it scares me, it really, really, really scares me and I know not everyone is crazy.
I know not everyone is evil, but you know, maybe it's the way I was brought up.
Yeah. I'm quite naive. I'm trying to see the positive in most people.
(16:57):
Do you know what I mean? I don't go out thinking, oh, everyone is out for me
kind of thing or whatnot, but.
I just want my child to be safe, man. And I think everyone got to do what feels right to them.
I don't think there is like a right or a wrong, but personally,
I don't think I'd make a page for Jude just yet.
I think when he's a bit older, maybe like three, four years old,
(17:18):
when he's a bit older, yeah.
Maybe I can make a page for him. But if it's not banging.
Lock it up. If that's what you need.
I don't even want one of those pages where it's like oh like oh my mommy dressed
me up today it's like come on yeah yeah yeah come on man that child can't type
(17:45):
i hate it some of them take it too far,
and we'll be like oh yeah well done baby you look so good,
you're talking to yourself look i don't discriminate yeah against anybody yeah
if anyone's watching this that does that honestly speaking i just think it's a sign of madness.
(18:10):
My honest feeling honestly it
is a sign of complete and utter madness man that's
crazy no but posting jude i reckon i will do again when he's a bit older but
but for now i'm happy bit level that is you know nah i'm the same as you man
because when my little one came out like before coming out i thought yeah i'm
gonna show her to the world as soon as she came out yeah and obviously when
(18:32):
when you start talking to like your mums and stuff you start hearing,
certain things that they went through they're like you shouldn't be putting
your kid out so early because you don't know what evil eyes like that's another
that's what got me bro i don't i don't like acknowledging it though man i don't
i don't either but i know when you hear it i know When you hear it,
it's in your mind. Do you get what I'm trying to say? I know, I know, I know.
And I don't really, I feel like, no, I'm blessed. Like God's got me.
(18:55):
Trust me, I feel the same as well. Like whatever any person has in their mind,
It's not possible. Fact.
You lot, man. Let me learn. I've done jams.
You lot, let me learn. It's so, it's so exciting.
(19:15):
I hear you still. I hear you jamming though. I hear you. I hear it. I hear it as well.
I'm really conflicted, you know. Honestly, I've got no finishing point on that.
I'm really conflicted when it comes to that.
I definitely hear you, but for me, it's just, I don't know that.
Do you know how many times that I've posted something like about to
post something and I take it off especially my
(19:35):
whatsapp revered same I was about to post something the
other day and then I thought the amount of hate and I
don't even want them to see it I took
it off I said these artists you know they don't say nothing to
you but they're watching I thought I don't like all of that for me
I just if it make like it's got
to be like a celebration or something even that it takes
(19:57):
a lot out of me but is it this is
sad though it's weird this is the way of the world like naturally
like when you think about like your circle your people that are around you
yeah even like on whatsapp i know there's people that he speaks to once probably speaks to
again whatever are those people really out for
your downfall are those people like really like your enemies like they preach
in churches no i don't think so but at the same time you don't know everybody
(20:20):
yeah you just don't know you know i mean so you just don't know and the invention
is better than cure facts but deep this you see back in the day when you go
through like pictures of yourself.
It's printed that weren't online bro do you get what I'm trying to say so it's
between you and your family you see that if someone comes home they got your
photo book that's different photo album do you get what I'm trying to say but
now this opens up new conversations,
(20:42):
do you get what I'm trying to say it does it does I know where I'm trying to
go with it but that's how I think about it because I'm thinking cool back in
the day they used to take pictures but they keep it for themselves,
and then whoever comes round can take in or what not do you get what I'm trying
to say but now it's like we're dealing with the social media life if you put it out there
you don't know what's going to come back in it like because powers
are real man you know what I'm trying to say and that's what I believe
(21:04):
in no matter what anybody says that's what I believe in isn't it so
it's like for me I just bro I double think everything when it comes to I think
it's down to culture as well because some people might listen to this and think
it's a god damn picture man I know for real I have no problem god damn picture
you know how it's like some of us have been raised like African backgrounds
they tell you that people can look at a picture and wish bad on you,
(21:28):
Nigerian Ghanaians we see they throw dot on a picture bro,
bro I just shoot at them what you see I saw I saw one it was so funny the husband
I don't know the wife came to see her auntie and the auntie was like,
what's happening now you've been married two years like no baby what's going
on so she wanted to start talking in the spirit realm her husband had paid next to her,
(21:54):
he was like it's not everybody that you see every.
That's funny and she just wanted she wanted to actually explain she was actually
just gonna like they don't want to start having children yet they want us to
they want to do whatever but her auntie was like talk and the person.
(22:14):
No, the Lollywood feels are their best, especially the sound effect.
Legendary. I'll find the video. I need to show you guys. That's true,
guys. It was so funny. Yeah, sick, sick.
But yeah, obviously, those things come from a place of experience,
protection, like people obviously wanting what's best for their kids and stuff.
But yeah, I think everyone's got to do what they feel is right.
(22:37):
Yeah. I think I'm still kind of learning to balance it.
But like you said, being on the safe side like you think about it nah i want
to do it now kind of thing but so yeah jude has not had a tablet at the moment
in it but at what age do you reckon or is it more so when the demand comes in
i think i think when the demand when the demand comes in because kids are,
(22:59):
kids are really resilient kids learn really quickly as well they're spun so
yeah and i reckon when the demand comes in we can we can introduce it but i
just want to control it i don't want him to think that that tablet is life,
everything's on the tablet.
So I'm going to try if he's on it, max two hours a day.
And even at two hours, it's not two hours at once can be broken up.
(23:20):
Okay. Do 30 minutes there, 30 minutes there, bit here, bit there.
You know what I mean? I want to encourage him, go out and play.
You know what I mean? When I can, and I know it's hard.
I was going to say, it's fair point what you're saying before I wrap up,
but I was going to say, the amount of times that new parents say that,
and then when they get into the field, that goes out the window,
(23:40):
bro. Where you want your peace?
I know. Bro, you just... I know, I know.
Everyone says it. Everyone says it, literally. But I'm going to do my absolute best.
I might come back here in two years time and be like, yo, you got me.
Like, you know? but I'm going to do my absolute best because I want him to know outside yeah,
(24:02):
that's true though it's important man that's something that
we're missing in this generation now but I think to be honest with me with the
tablet thing I'm not I think because my daughter behaves well with it yeah it's
not too bad for me that's really good do you know what I'm trying to say if
I take it from her now she's not going to get mad bro do you know what I'm trying
to say that's really good where some people bro if you take that,
(24:23):
brother the kid's been in the whole room I dare you I dare you.
But she's passed that i'm lucky bro like she's past
that stage and i don't know if it's because obviously he's from early training or
whatnot but i just said to myself my kid's not gonna be that yeah i
guess not me like come on bro it's really really really good yeah i'm not too
(24:48):
i'm not too strict to her when it comes to that because she if i take it from
her she's cool so i don't mind i'll be like you know what she might deserve
it this time half your time yeah i'll take it when And like,
you might need to eat or something, you know what I mean?
So, but is she, is she on it? Like, like nonstop, like if let's,
let's say if you want to take it from her, would you just stick on it the whole time?
Or, you know what she probably could, she probably would, man,
(25:12):
because there's so much things going on on YouTube in it.
It's like, they just get stuck on it. Do you know what I'm trying to say?
Even, even as adults, you hear about adults putting limits on TikTok.
There you go, bro. They put limits like after two hours, TikTok is blocked out.
This thing got a hold on you that much. bro it's crazy so
imagine a kid like just watching tons of
things like because and i can't blame them because the content
(25:34):
is there like there is so much interesting stuff to
look at i think we need to put it out to the
audience as well like you guys let us
know in the comments in it what that what age you
think it's the most appropriate age to introduce your
child to the if there's any restrictions some people might not have no restrictions
as well let us know your thoughts man it's been it's been an honor having you
(25:58):
again man thank you so much man hey hey hey why are we giving him a plug he's
one of us now hey hey hey you see this mug yeah there's space.
There's space camera you on me this camera on me,
yeah no but thank you so much for coming out again I appreciate it man guys
come to the end of a segment make sure you like comment share subscribe we are over and out,
(26:26):
Nice one.
Music.
Music.
(00:05):
Hey, we got Jam back, you know. We got Jam back. Back in the car.
You don't even need the introduction. Don't do that, man. You don't even need
the intro. I'm part of the furniture. Just me.
Bro, Nishi, what's this? Third time, no? This is the third time still.
Third? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not the last for sure. Champion the emperor. Yeah.
(00:25):
Hey! Last time I saw Jam, though, Jam was cussing me. What are you cussing me?
What are you cussing me? What are you cussing me?
What are you cussing me? What are you cussing me? What are you cussing me?
You don't want to bring it up. I hate us, kill us. Like that uncle.
So you people love garbage. Bro, I don't know.
You people love garbage. You people love garbage. We've actually forgotten.
You people love them better than us. But I hate. Anyway, how's your child this week?
(00:46):
Ask your girl, bro. Talk to me, man. What's up? Let's get into it.
We've flipped the position in about today.
Different position, but I still do the norm. So welcome to the Father's Playbook,
where we're exploring fatherhood one player at a time. I'm your host, Aaron.
Across from me today, we have... We have Els and across from me Shabwa Stoney
(01:07):
and we've got I would say a special guest but it's not that special no more
God punish you You're basically part of the FPB fam Nah, 100,
100 man Bro, you just gotta keep four chairs standard let me just be here,
every week we release something just know that I'm here Glad to be back guys
(01:28):
Nice to have you back Thank you From the get go I want to, just off camera,
you were showing us a video. Yeah.
I wanted you to, just for the viewer, just explain the video that we were watching.
So my work auntie sent me a video of kids and she showed her kids because they've
got iPads and they really misbehave.
(01:49):
Whenever she takes it away or threatens to take it away.
And the video, kind of like shocking. These kids are saying,
oh, I dare you, I dare you. Like, because the parents want to take away the iPads from the kids.
The kid is saying, I dare you. I dare you, I dare you. That's one of the,
it's a compilation of, of kids behaving really badly, telling their parents,
don't take away this iPad from me.
(02:10):
And honestly, yeah, Jude will never see an iPad.
Well, you reckon you're going to, bro, I used to say the same thing though.
I think it's that easy to salute crap. Of course not. Of course not.
He's definitely going to see an iPad for sure. But yeah. The age they're introduced to it.
Honestly, it's a big question mark. It's a big, big question mark because I
(02:31):
don't know if it's the idea, keep it away from him as long as possible and then, you know,
phase it in slowly but then everybody else is using the ipads you
don't want to be behind that's the way of the world right now there's so much
there's so many layers to unpick with it but i don't know man
your kids are a bit older like i was gonna say yeah for me it's like more more
times when like you want to try and do something quickly yeah and like they're
(02:53):
daddy daddy daddy daddy yeah let me just give that ipad quickly so i i buy a
couple a couple minutes or so So to do what I need to do.
That's when I kind of, obviously like a child's a child, isn't it?
We grew up watching cartoons and whatnot.
Playing outside and that. I feel like I don't see kids playing that.
No, it's different now. It's a bit more dangerous. We used to play on the road,
(03:14):
put jumpers on the roadside.
It's called peace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We forget it overnight,
come back and it's still there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, I don't see, I don't even see kids playing outside. No,
no, no. I think it's this iPad.
No, no. Because there's so much I go through. Because my oldest son,
so my girl's son, he's 13 innit yeah bro even with
him like to play outside like I start to worry because it's like you start to
(03:37):
feel like the area's living like is he gonna get groomed by the area boys yeah
they start he was even telling me the other day that one of his friends one
of them the boys like to him oh he bought chicken and chips the boy said to
him give me a chip a what give me a chip you're lying
no no chips chips yeah yeah that's how it starts but anything slow anything
slow anything slow anything slow.
(04:00):
To the 30 I don't want to find him honestly.
He's like give me a chip obviously he's got his own money but it's like different techniques.
It's the beginning of it it's like it's so subtle when it starts man honestly
I fear you know I fear you have to there has to be a balance I guess because
I think that's what we're at this digital age now I think.
(04:24):
The ipads are getting younger i don't know how how old is your one they're using ipads already
it's mad it's mad i think there just has to be
a balance now because you can't say you can't let and then let me play devil's
advocate as well so it's like like i was saying we watched cartoons and that
but it's like that's their place we was watching on tvs and the box tvs yeah
that's their place where they watch their cartoons so you don't want to kind
(04:47):
of take that take that away from them Also though,
like our parents or our parents' parents,
you know, they might not have watched TV the way we watch TV.
See, like what we are seeing now is like our generation of the TV,
like taking away from kids kind of thing.
Because we would run home and make sure we watch Dragon Ball Z at 5.30.
(05:09):
You know what I mean? Yeah.
But we know that time is that time. But we'll still go out and play because we wanted to play.
But those kids, when they were growing up, like our parents and our parents'
parents, they would go out and play all day. You know what I mean?
I mean, they were more social.
And that's another aspect of this is that our kids losing those skills of being like social.
I do like interacting with actual people because, you know, you even hear about
(05:31):
like young teenagers and stuff that are playing games all day and all of their
friends are, they're virtual, all their friends are online. Yeah.
And there's nothing wrong with having virtual friends. There isn't,
but that's not the real world.
You know, actually like speaking to people, you know what I mean?
I would hate it for my son to grow up but not know how to speak to girls or
make new friends. Do you know what I mean?
(05:55):
Genuinely speaking, because that's a, playing outside, like being with friends,
understanding people's different, like quirks and annoyances and weird things
or whatever, that's what makes you streetwise, streetwise, a grounded human being. Yeah, it's true.
So, I don't, I don't know what, I don't know what I'm going to do,
but I'm just, I'm going to, I'm going to ask God for the guidance.
Do you guys have like an age in mind where you'd say, okay, this is the age I'm going to give my,
(06:20):
a child a phone or this is the age i
think i've always said like if it comes to times where for me
it's more it's not for the apps and that one there for me
it's more so it's like if they start going to school maybe by themselves
and i need to be in touch with them i'll say
that's the age i'll start giving them a phone but if i'm dropping you school
or like what do you need a phone for realistically you've already got your tablet
(06:42):
so you don't need it for the apps you've got your tablet so what am i giving
you a phone for i hear that that's what that's for me per se what about you
that's a hard one bro but but i do i do understand what you're saying because,
if it is like that i don't see the not the point but i don't see why you need
it do you get what i'm trying to say if i'm not too well i don't think this
(07:04):
will happen but i'm not if i'm not too.
Involved there's a possibility obviously i'm gonna need to know like if
you're all right blah blah this and that but i wouldn't want
to be that parent anyway i would want to be about so i
don't I don't know I don't know the right age but this guy basically he's telling
us he'll give it a five nah bro you must be crazy man five I can see I was waiting
(07:24):
for her sweet 16 and I just yeah I just saying now y'all remember,
no way no way no way I'm scared bro like the world that we live in at the moment
yeah the things that you can see online what's your biggest fears though my
biggest bro just predators online fam trying to say like like more,
(07:47):
that's not taught with um with with controlling the phone like that that's taught
with again being street smart yeah actually interacting with people like having
a good relationship with your child I think anyway everything I'm saying is
based on like theory and what I've seen around me you know.
Genuinely I'm scared as you know going through things
to myself when will I give you the phone even an iPad honestly like
(08:10):
I don't know let me throw this in
there then so like cool you raised a good point about
like your son's online talking to strangers and not going outside so what's
the difference to that and like giving your child the door phone talking to
and she might end up talking to strangers online what you're talking gaming
(08:32):
side and then gaming yeah They're all talking to strangers, no? That's true.
No, but it's a bit different, though. It is true, but, you know,
to be honest, what's the difference?
I was watching some pro games. Protection. You obviously have that protection
where you can turn off the game. Do you know what I mean?
Like, it's a bit different. I think there's a, boy, you know,
people are deviant minds, so it's hard to say, but, you know,
(08:52):
with gaming, the majority of people that are online gaming are gaming.
They just want to play, just want to have a good time. No, no,
because my son's telling me about a story where there's,
like, a game, like roblox he was like he was like yeah there's
like a there's like a forum where they all yeah yeah
yeah he said some of the comments in there a bit weird and he thinks sometimes
like is this a child and luckily he's a bit witty
(09:15):
he's witty about it and he knows what's going about there was a case i read
the other day that someone got the first case of virtual rape rape i saw that
i was about to talk to you i didn't read into it did you read into it i watched
the documentary to be honest i looked at the headline and i thought to myself
this is clickbait because because how were you telling me you're, you get me,
but then it's almost like a naive point of view because in this day and age,
(09:39):
it's like anything is now possible with it, especially with this. I just, oh.
Nowhere safe, you know? No, it's not. Nowhere safe. I'm telling you,
I'm, maybe I'm naive, honestly speaking, yeah.
But I was thinking gaming, everybody there wants to just play games.
Nah, you'd be surprised, man. What are you going online to? There's weirdos
everywhere. There's weirdos everywhere.
(10:01):
I don't know if you don't know but your missus on that yeah bro it's like social
media for the pregnant ladies the stories bro,
I don't want to say we want the sponsorship
I think the app is great it's a fantastic idea it's really really good great
space for women to connect to speak of stories but some of the stuff our missus
(10:22):
tells me the stories especially the Americans the Americans I need to see this
but coming back to my point is
some of the like one person was posing something one time my
girl's like this is definitely a man they were saying oh one lady
was just complaining about something about her nipple yeah yeah and then someone
said oh yeah take a picture show us or something like what the hell they were
(10:46):
thinking like yo like who would type that peanut is an infiltrator too yeah
that's not who's on what nowhere is safe yeah even some of them youtube kids shows have have been,
I'm seeing all over the place that some of them are not.
But I genuinely think this is my main, my overriding point on this topic is
(11:06):
that even without those things,
you know, we would hear of kids going missing and bad stuff happening to kids
before this digital age began and the, the safeguarding, we have to replicate
it in this virtual world as well.
You know, only talk to people that you know.
You know, don't go where, you know, you're just invited randomly.
(11:28):
Don't talk to strangers. Do you understand? If you're unsure about anything,
speak to me and honestly know your child.
Like if you know your child really, really well, and you know what ticks them
off, what makes them behave differently,
what makes them secretive, what makes them open and stuff, you should be able
to spot, I'm hoping, I'm praying that you'll be able to spot some signs and
(11:49):
say, this is different behavior from my child.
You know because stuff from predators and stuff from from people that got sick minds,
we have to just face the reality of it they're all out there they're all out
there does that mean that our child won't be able to children won't be able
to do things they won't be able to go out and explore the world they just have
to be safe after that we have to find a balance and you know do you think it's worse now than,
(12:13):
how it was before though 100% you think so 100% look at now time's gone it's
always been there time's been
there but look how many people have been exposed it's always been there
been there bro you're right there's more light on it now sorry to cut you off
bro but there's more light on it now but I think it's always been there I think
there's been sickos out there no there's been sickos out there Nickelodeon.
(12:34):
Half of them producers at Nickelodeon and imagine,
we watch we watch that innocently yeah thinking nothing there's one girl came across it on TikTok,
there's one girl I think she was on that show Zoe 101 yeah that was the one
She's outside Nickelodeon Headquarters protesting Yeah yeah Because she said
(12:55):
she got abused And they basically Tried to hash it out Bro Bear with them Bear
with them Bear with the actors The child actors There's a list,
obvious nuts that's that's another thing i know we're talking about
like digital age and social media but that's another thing where it's
like with this acting thing i think like last week we're talking about modeling
getting your children yeah or the week before i can't remember when but even
(13:17):
that now you got it's not just it's not just you you know like you could go
with your child all the time all the time these predators they're everywhere
man they're everywhere so it's like,
what what can we put in place to try and not prevent it but try and prevent it in a sense.
Maybe build I think things like this like building communities man
where fathers could you know or parents as a whole like peanut like
(13:39):
you said it's infiltrated of course but originally it's still
that idea the idea is a great idea definitely for sure mothers to
connect you're making a speech to other people I think it's great my girl
was telling me the other day the amount of stuff she's learnt from peanut from other
mums that she didn't know before is great because like someone will
put up a problem and you get so much different opinions I think
an app like that is brilliant it's a brilliant idea honestly I didn't
(14:00):
even know about that I'm actually happy you said that and you can even connect even
that you start talking to strangers but you can connect with
mums in your area because a lot of mums are
going through it by themselves as well they ain't got bedroom it's nothing exactly
exactly for sure my missus she's made some friends
from peanut some people that we actually call friends it's
actually quite nice but I think with peanut there is that
kind of you hope and pray that no mothers are going to be like crazy but you
(14:24):
know you send pictures to each other you can talk like a little bit first and
I think also because you know women that are are giving birth are naturally
going to be older and stuff you just apply some common sense to it this person
yeah person seems weird I'm not going to go there your missus as well pointing out that,
send a picture of your nipple that's a bit mad that's a bit mad every woman
(14:44):
on the app knows what a nipple looks like why would you suspect for her do you know what I mean.
Would you not post your would you make her in the store for your for my child for my kid no no,
you know what I've been in two minds because sometimes I look at my daughter
the modelling status of the idiot you would do well as a model but then I just
(15:06):
fear too much the way I was raised,
it's like i was talking so much that there's dangers in that that i don't know
if i could put it on my child but to the people that's got the courage to do
it fair to them i just say put the right safeguarding thing techniques in place
yeah i think if i did yeah i'll be in control,
yeah yeah i think you know what i mean i'll be in control so i can kind of see
what's going on blah and blah the only thing is obviously you putting like things
(15:29):
out if your kid obviously someone knows what your kid looks like so you don't
know what could happen after i don't put out the last after hours or what not
but I'll be in control so at what age,
would you start that at what age it depends innit because at the moment let's
just say I'm taking pictures of my kid now.
And let's say like a company just sees us and says oh you know what should be good for like modelling,
(15:50):
I'm not going to say no to it do you know what I mean but I obviously go there
with a third eye to make sure everything's kind of safe but I wouldn't say no
to it you made a good point you know because you said everyone when you ask
a question everyone said no they won't put their child they won't create a page
for their children on social media but what about posting them on your own page,
I feel like I'm gonna when the time comes I'll be posting my
(16:11):
year everywhere I don't see how people can hide I'm still scared now bro
I understand the credit is online I'll be
honest in one sense on one hand I'm like come and try try a lot but on the other
hand I'm like it's too much of a blessing for me to do it's so much of a blessing
I do think this ultimately comes down to mindset the truth is like I said there's
(16:34):
crazy people everywhere, honestly, there's crazy people everywhere.
And when Jude was born, I thought I was going to post him a lot more than I
post him now, to be honest, but I've seen some stuff and I'll be honest,
it does, it scares me, it really, really, really scares me and I know not everyone is crazy.
I know not everyone is evil, but you know, maybe it's the way I was brought up.
Yeah. I'm quite naive. I'm trying to see the positive in most people.
(16:57):
Do you know what I mean? I don't go out thinking, oh, everyone is out for me
kind of thing or whatnot, but.
I just want my child to be safe, man. And I think everyone got to do what feels right to them.
I don't think there is like a right or a wrong, but personally,
I don't think I'd make a page for Jude just yet.
I think when he's a bit older, maybe like three, four years old,
(17:18):
when he's a bit older, yeah.
Maybe I can make a page for him. But if it's not banging.
Lock it up. If that's what you need.
I don't even want one of those pages where it's like oh like oh my mommy dressed
me up today it's like come on yeah yeah yeah come on man that child can't type
(17:45):
i hate it some of them take it too far,
and we'll be like oh yeah well done baby you look so good,
you're talking to yourself look i don't discriminate yeah against anybody yeah
if anyone's watching this that does that honestly speaking i just think it's a sign of madness.
(18:10):
My honest feeling honestly it
is a sign of complete and utter madness man that's
crazy no but posting jude i reckon i will do again when he's a bit older but
but for now i'm happy bit level that is you know nah i'm the same as you man
because when my little one came out like before coming out i thought yeah i'm
gonna show her to the world as soon as she came out yeah and obviously when
(18:32):
when you start talking to like your mums and stuff you start hearing,
certain things that they went through they're like you shouldn't be putting
your kid out so early because you don't know what evil eyes like that's another
that's what got me bro i don't i don't like acknowledging it though man i don't
i don't either but i know when you hear it i know When you hear it,
it's in your mind. Do you get what I'm trying to say? I know, I know, I know.
And I don't really, I feel like, no, I'm blessed. Like God's got me.
(18:55):
Trust me, I feel the same as well. Like whatever any person has in their mind,
It's not possible. Fact.
You lot, man. Let me learn. I've done jams.
You lot, let me learn. It's so, it's so exciting.
(19:15):
I hear you still. I hear you jamming though. I hear you. I hear it. I hear it as well.
I'm really conflicted, you know. Honestly, I've got no finishing point on that.
I'm really conflicted when it comes to that.
I definitely hear you, but for me, it's just, I don't know that.
Do you know how many times that I've posted something like about to
post something and I take it off especially my
(19:35):
whatsapp revered same I was about to post something the
other day and then I thought the amount of hate and I
don't even want them to see it I took
it off I said these artists you know they don't say nothing to
you but they're watching I thought I don't like all of that for me
I just if it make like it's got
to be like a celebration or something even that it takes
(19:57):
a lot out of me but is it this is
sad though it's weird this is the way of the world like naturally
like when you think about like your circle your people that are around you
yeah even like on whatsapp i know there's people that he speaks to once probably speaks to
again whatever are those people really out for
your downfall are those people like really like your enemies like they preach
in churches no i don't think so but at the same time you don't know everybody
(20:20):
yeah you just don't know you know i mean so you just don't know and the invention
is better than cure facts but deep this you see back in the day when you go
through like pictures of yourself.
It's printed that weren't online bro do you get what I'm trying to say so it's
between you and your family you see that if someone comes home they got your
photo book that's different photo album do you get what I'm trying to say but
now this opens up new conversations,
(20:42):
do you get what I'm trying to say it does it does I know where I'm trying to
go with it but that's how I think about it because I'm thinking cool back in
the day they used to take pictures but they keep it for themselves,
and then whoever comes round can take in or what not do you get what I'm trying
to say but now it's like we're dealing with the social media life if you put it out there
you don't know what's going to come back in it like because powers
are real man you know what I'm trying to say and that's what I believe
(21:04):
in no matter what anybody says that's what I believe in isn't it so
it's like for me I just bro I double think everything when it comes to I think
it's down to culture as well because some people might listen to this and think
it's a god damn picture man I know for real I have no problem god damn picture
you know how it's like some of us have been raised like African backgrounds
they tell you that people can look at a picture and wish bad on you,
(21:28):
Nigerian Ghanaians we see they throw dot on a picture bro,
bro I just shoot at them what you see I saw I saw one it was so funny the husband
I don't know the wife came to see her auntie and the auntie was like,
what's happening now you've been married two years like no baby what's going
on so she wanted to start talking in the spirit realm her husband had paid next to her,
(21:54):
he was like it's not everybody that you see every.
That's funny and she just wanted she wanted to actually explain she was actually
just gonna like they don't want to start having children yet they want us to
they want to do whatever but her auntie was like talk and the person.
(22:14):
No, the Lollywood feels are their best, especially the sound effect.
Legendary. I'll find the video. I need to show you guys. That's true,
guys. It was so funny. Yeah, sick, sick.
But yeah, obviously, those things come from a place of experience,
protection, like people obviously wanting what's best for their kids and stuff.
But yeah, I think everyone's got to do what they feel is right.
(22:37):
Yeah. I think I'm still kind of learning to balance it.
But like you said, being on the safe side like you think about it nah i want
to do it now kind of thing but so yeah jude has not had a tablet at the moment
in it but at what age do you reckon or is it more so when the demand comes in
i think i think when the demand when the demand comes in because kids are,
(22:59):
kids are really resilient kids learn really quickly as well they're spun so
yeah and i reckon when the demand comes in we can we can introduce it but i
just want to control it i don't want him to think that that tablet is life,
everything's on the tablet.
So I'm going to try if he's on it, max two hours a day.
And even at two hours, it's not two hours at once can be broken up.
(23:20):
Okay. Do 30 minutes there, 30 minutes there, bit here, bit there.
You know what I mean? I want to encourage him, go out and play.
You know what I mean? When I can, and I know it's hard.
I was going to say, it's fair point what you're saying before I wrap up,
but I was going to say, the amount of times that new parents say that,
and then when they get into the field, that goes out the window,
(23:40):
bro. Where you want your peace?
I know. Bro, you just... I know, I know.
Everyone says it. Everyone says it, literally. But I'm going to do my absolute best.
I might come back here in two years time and be like, yo, you got me.
Like, you know? but I'm going to do my absolute best because I want him to know outside yeah,
(24:02):
that's true though it's important man that's something that
we're missing in this generation now but I think to be honest with me with the
tablet thing I'm not I think because my daughter behaves well with it yeah it's
not too bad for me that's really good do you know what I'm trying to say if
I take it from her now she's not going to get mad bro do you know what I'm trying
to say that's really good where some people bro if you take that,
(24:23):
brother the kid's been in the whole room I dare you I dare you.
But she's passed that i'm lucky bro like she's past
that stage and i don't know if it's because obviously he's from early training or
whatnot but i just said to myself my kid's not gonna be that yeah i
guess not me like come on bro it's really really really good yeah i'm not too
(24:48):
i'm not too strict to her when it comes to that because she if i take it from
her she's cool so i don't mind i'll be like you know what she might deserve
it this time half your time yeah i'll take it when And like,
you might need to eat or something, you know what I mean?
So, but is she, is she on it? Like, like nonstop, like if let's,
let's say if you want to take it from her, would you just stick on it the whole time?
Or, you know what she probably could, she probably would, man,
(25:12):
because there's so much things going on on YouTube in it.
It's like, they just get stuck on it. Do you know what I'm trying to say?
Even, even as adults, you hear about adults putting limits on TikTok.
There you go, bro. They put limits like after two hours, TikTok is blocked out.
This thing got a hold on you that much. bro it's crazy so
imagine a kid like just watching tons of
things like because and i can't blame them because the content
(25:34):
is there like there is so much interesting stuff to
look at i think we need to put it out to the
audience as well like you guys let us
know in the comments in it what that what age you
think it's the most appropriate age to introduce your
child to the if there's any restrictions some people might not have no restrictions
as well let us know your thoughts man it's been it's been an honor having you
(25:58):
again man thank you so much man hey hey hey why are we giving him a plug he's
one of us now hey hey hey you see this mug yeah there's space.
There's space camera you on me this camera on me,
yeah no but thank you so much for coming out again I appreciate it man guys
come to the end of a segment make sure you like comment share subscribe we are over and out,
(26:26):
Nice one.
Music.
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