Ask Dr. Jesse

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
On the Jordan Harbinger Show, You'll hear amazing stories from
people that have lived them, from spies to CEOs, even
an undercover agent who infiltrated the Gambino crime family. You're
about to hear a preview of The Jordan Harbinger Show
with Jack Garcia, who did just that. My career was
twenty four out of twenty six years was solely dedicated
working on the cover. I walk in, I'm in the bar.

(00:22):
How there's a bar made? Dare good looking young lady
see serving me? Joey, Hey, what would you like? I
usually my frank was give me a kettle, one martini,
three olives, class of water on the side. I finished
the drink. The guys come in. I'm gonna go go
in my pocket, take out the big wad of money. Hey, am,
I give her one hundred hours. If you're with the mob,
I say, hey, Jordan, you're on record with us. That

(00:45):
means we protect you. Nobody could shake you down. We
could shake you down. Oh, you're on record with us.
For more on how Jack became so trusted in the
highest levels of the Gambino organization, check out episode three
ninety two of the Jordan Harbinger Show. This is a

(01:11):
Jesse Kelly Show. It is Friday, everybody. It is Friday. Yes,
somebody hits some politics today, but we are going to
have fun. It is an ask doctor Jesse Friday. You

(01:34):
can email me Jesse at Jesse Kelly show dot com.
You can call eight seven seven three seven seven four
three seven three eight seven seven three seven seven four
three seven three. Let me stress this. It can be
political if you want, but it absolutely does not have
to be. If you want to call and ask the

(01:57):
best way to get rid of your mother in law,
that's fine. It's Friday. I can't always promise you this
is going to be the case, but for the most part,
absent some brand new gigantic story out there, for the
most part, we're going to try to keep Friday a

(02:20):
little bit lighter. It's the end of the week. You've
been bludgeoned over the face with enough crappy news throughout
the week. It's Friday, man, So eight seven seven three
seven seven four three seven three. You've already sent in
a boatload of questions. I will get to them as

(02:42):
soon as I get done with Well, you know what
we have to do now. I want you to picture
this scene. You have been tasked with tracking down dead

(03:06):
comrades of yours. You were in the army, another army unit,
undoubtedly with men that you know, men that you know
really well, got massacred somehow, some way, and this was,

(03:26):
you know, some time back, ten years or so. You
have to go find where they were massacred. You have
to go survey the scene. You're trying to recover some
things from that unit, some physical items, because obviously the
guys are dead. But you have to go and so

(03:50):
your units you begin the march, and soon you're approaching
the area and you think this about the place, and
it is a dark, dark forest, the darkest you can imagine,
one of those like rainforest type things, only this is

(04:10):
more pine trees. You can heart. The sun really never
hits the forest floor. The trees are tall and thick.
In the middle of the day, it is dark in there.
Let alone when the clouds come or night comes. And
you get to the area where your guys went down,

(04:36):
and you see something on a tree up ahead, about
four feet off the ground, and you can't quite make
it out, so you scurry over to it with your buddies.
It's dark it's creepy. And what you see on that
tree is a skull nailed to the tree trunk, and

(04:59):
it's one your buddies. That happened a long, long time ago.
Understand something about ancient Rome before I get into the
story i'm going to tell you today. We'll talk a

(05:21):
lot about Rome because there's so much history to it.
But the German people were a handful for the Romans,
an absolute handful. There was a time, and this is
not going to be our story today, where the Kimbri
and the Tutans who were thought to be Germans that
you don't need to remember those names, don't worry about that.

(05:43):
There were two gigantic German tribes. They scared the crap
out of everybody, including everybody in Gaul, which is France,
and they were beating the living daylights out of massive
Roman armies. And finally Rome sent up one of their
great general's, Gaius Marius, and he finally defeated him, and

(06:04):
they were rattled, still, who are these German people? And
north of Italy, north of Rome, there was Gaul. They
were the Gauls, the Celts, and they were wild and
thought to be these barbarians and fanatically brave. You know,
everything you could picture, you've seen braveheart. They don't even
wear armor, They're just insane. And then at a lot

(06:25):
of that was true, and the Gauls were scared to
death of the Germans. A Roman would look at a
Gaul and think, this dude is big and mean and crazy.
And a gall would look at a Roman and say, brother,
a German is big and mean and crazy. It's just

(06:48):
how they were. And so there was a lot of
history there between Rome and the Germans. And then Julius
Caesar comes along and he's pretty much one of, if
not the most fascinating non Jesus character in the history
of mankind. He just is if you've never read or

(07:11):
learn anything about Julius Caesar, I'll probably do something on
him next week. This that's not what today is gonna be.
Just know this dude was a genius, a certifiable genius
in every way. Maybe the most talented human being that
ever lived, talented writer, maybe the best general who ever lived.
That too, I mean, the dude was absurd, absurd. He

(07:36):
takes over Gaul France is what you would know. It
gets to the Rhine, which is the border between Gaul.
You know, it's it's the border, but it's it's the
German border. He does some really cool stuff there, which
I will save to for another day. But eventually Caesar

(07:56):
takes a trip to the Senate he should not have taken,
gets stabbed nine thousand times. Everybody knows the story. Caesar dies,
there's this long succession, and eventually Caesar Augustus takes over.
He was Octavian at the time. It was Caesar stopped
his son. All you need to know is the next
guy's name is Caesar Augustus. Again, I don't bore you

(08:17):
with the details. Plenty of those details are out there.
You may be a detailed freak. I just think for radio,
there's too many names and such. The guy who came
after Caesar, that's all you need to know, and he
oversees Rome at its peak as far as territory goes.

(08:40):
Finally they decide they're going to start making some inroads
into Germany. Remember this is there is no Germany at
the time. There's what they consider Germanic tribes and there's
like sixty of them, and half of them hate each
other and half of them love each other. And it's
a big old mess. But Caesar Augustus decides he's going

(09:01):
to start pushing into Germany. We've had enough, We've expanded
everywhere else we can expand screw these Germans. Let's rock
and roll, and as before, it proves to be a handful.
The Germans are. Yes, they're good fighters, that's part of it.

(09:21):
But they're not Roman legionaries. Let's just be real clear
about something. Roman legionaries were the T one Abrams tank
or M one Abrams tank. I'm sorry, t one M
one Abrams tank of that era, not not the individual soldier.

(09:42):
Mind you, a one on one battle between a German
and a legionary could go either way. But these Roman legionaries,
when they would join forces, joined shields. They were absurdly
disciplined and drilled and trained all the time. That's how
Rome conquered the world. The Roman legionary conquered the world.

(10:05):
All these barbaric tribes. You can be as brave as
you wasn't screaming and yelling it. I love this. Yeah,
that may look good in the mirror, but the fact
you're not wearing armor and I'm covered in it is
not going to go well for you. And oftentimes it didn't.
The Romans would hold fast for the hard charge, let
you wear yourself out on their shields, and then cut

(10:27):
through you like grass. They did it repeatedly, over and
over and over again. There's something else they did. Ayah

(10:49):
the Jesse Kelly show. Omega x L remember that name
because the truth is this. We don't we don't like
to talk about it. But there's no safety. Right. There's
no cure for coronavirus. There's no vaccine. They have some treatments.
You read one article, it says it might work. Another

(11:09):
article it says it doesn't. And coronavirus isn't the only
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(11:33):
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(11:56):
Jesse Kelly Show. You're welcome. You see, even Germany was

(12:32):
going to fall eventually, Ryan have to This is Rome.
They had done nothing up to this point but expand.
And just so you know, we're dealing about zero. That's
the that's the year. I'm not kidding. The era that
we're about to talk about is nine a d. It's
kind of funny to think about Jesus was nine and

(12:54):
when we're talking about this just in a different part
of the world, and Rome starts to do in Germany
what Rome had done all over the place. They were
just wonderful at this. They would begin to romanize these wild,
barbaric places, and they would do it in different ways,

(13:14):
in wonderful ways, in horrible ways. They had this down
to a virtual science at this point. They would massacre
some tribes who resisted so others could see it. They
would collect slaves. Slavery is obviously a sore subject for

(13:35):
good reason here in America, because we don't like that
part of a past of our past, nor should we.
But understand something. Slavery is the history of the world,
the world and Rome, where they were huge into its
slaves were big money. Whenever they conquered, the generals would
get rich, the legionnaires would get rich. Generals as a

(13:58):
reward would oftentime give their guys slaves or allow them
to take slaves. We'll come back to that in a second.
That's going to be important. So you would kill some,
you'd enslave some, you would, as a Roman, take some
in especially the upper across the royalty. In these tribes,

(14:22):
this chieftain or that chieftain, Hey, we don't have to fight, man,
Come on, we're Rome. We actually have running water indoors.
I'm not exaggerating, by the way. The Romans in the
years zero had running water indoors. When I say these
people were incredible, I mean they were incredible. And you

(14:45):
can imagine you're a Germanic tribe. You make your living
on the move with cattle and hunting, and you live wild,
and all of a sudden you find somebody with a
faucet in his home. That would be quite eye opening that, Wow,
maybe these Romans aren't that bad. And many Germans came
along they were like, you know what, sweet, this actually

(15:06):
works for me. And many were exactly what you'd expect yeah,
I'd rather kill every Roman they lived. And that's what
Rome was doing. They were pacifying the German region. But
part of bringing people in meants educating them in your ways,

(15:28):
meant training them in your military ways. It meant letting
them sit on your military councils, help make plans with you,
lead auxiliary units for you. And not specifically right now,
I'm talking about a man name Arminius. Arminius was a
German chieftain, a practically member of the royal family in Germany. However,

(15:55):
he was also somebody Rome took in. They actually brought
him back to Rome and education hated him in Rome,
and then the Roman commander in Germany at this time
was a man named Veris. Varis brings in Armenius, and
Armenius is one of his right hand dudes. Yes, Arminius

(16:16):
is a German, but he helps provide information on other
Germanic tribes. Of these people are rebelling. Hey, you better
watch out for this chieftain. Hey, I think we can
bribe this guy. Oh, we better kill that guy. He's
your scout. Not uncommon. Here's the problem for Varis, Armenius.

(16:37):
Maybe your scout, but Armenius secretly hates your freaking guts
and he has a plan. And it should be noted Varis,
as they said about him, he's a commander of the camp.
That's We're going to come back to that in a

(16:58):
moment as well. Veris's father was on the wrong side
of the Julius Caesar Pompey Magnus battle and as soon
as Caesar beat the crap out of Pompey Magnus again,
he had no business winning that battle, but because he's
Julius Caesar, he did. Varius's father committed suicide. Varies was
not some war leader. Varis was a man who was

(17:21):
good at exactly what Rome needed him to be at
this time. He was good at pacifying a region again
put it. Put down a little rebellion here, gather some
slaves here, collect taxes here. That's how Vers did his business.
And I'm actually not judging the guy for that. Let
me explain something to you about your own military. Every

(17:43):
military people are good at different things, and they all
have important roles to play. Do you need a General Patton,
who the Germans famously said was the number one attacking
general and the entire American military. Do you need somebody
like that. You bet you do. But do you need

(18:08):
a guy who can make sure the water and food
get to where they need to go? Yeah, you do.
And very often those are two different men with different
skill sets. You need them all. So I'm not insulting Baris,
but that was what he was known for. He wasn't

(18:29):
some battle commander Armenius one day. Now, keep in mind,
this is September Romans. They really hunkered down in the
winter time, especially up north like this. We're talking Germany, right,
we're talking snow. You didn't really do military campaigns of

(18:49):
any kind. You didn't do much of anything. You had
a winter quarters set up. You just kind of go
back to what you consider civilization, hang out until the
snow's passed, and then on where'd you go. So it's
getting to be towards winter, starting to be awfully cloudy outside,
starting to rain. They are getting ready to pack up

(19:11):
and leave and call it a campaign until spring. And
then Arminius knocks on Varius's door. I'm saying that very
very figuratively. I'm sure Varius actually had probably had a
tent and not a door. Arminius walks in and says, hey, man,
we got a problem. Not a huge problem, but we

(19:35):
have a problem. There's a tribe. They're rebelling. They're in
the middle of a rebellion. Understand that a rebellion under
Roman rule was a very, very very big deal for them.
They would put down, as so many powerful empires have.

(19:56):
They would put down rebellions viciously because they want to
send a message. It's not that they were mad. Yeah,
I'm sure they were a little annoyed, but they wanted
to make sure, Okay, you want a rebel, let's go
crucify some people, will go enslave all your women and children,
and then we'll see if the next village feels like rebelling.
That was the Roman way and very effective. Greated. Not

(20:18):
the most humane thing in the world, but extremely effective.
And they had been doing that kind of thing for
some time in Germany, maybe creating a bit more bad
blood than they realized in Germany. And remember this, Armenius
was a guy with a real hate on and Armenius says,

(20:40):
you know what, I know where they are. Come on,
we're gonna take off this way and we'll go get them. Varus,
who had fought with Armenius before, had been given good
intel from Armenius before, had no reason to doubt until
Armenius's own father in law. That's right, his wife's father

(21:02):
comes to Varis and says, this is a trap. He's
leading you into a trap. And Veris says, nah, you
just hate your son in law, and the father in
law says, no, no, I do hate him. But you
don't understand. This guy has a plan and he's very

(21:22):
very good. He's leading you into a trap. But you're
the Romans, right, you have three legions, that's fifteen thousand
Roman legion areas. You're really not worried about a German trap,
except you should have been. Is he smarter than everyone

(21:51):
who knows? Does he think so? Yeah? That Jesse Kelly Shaw.
They've never made a documentary about me. As much as
I like to brag about myself, I have to acknowledge.
Leo Grillo's got it going on, doesn't he. You See,
the guy walked away from Hollywood forty years ago and

(22:14):
devoted his life to saving animals. His life to saving animals.
He started Delta Rescue and now it's the largest no
kill and care for life animals sanctuary in the world.
And he's been doing it so long and doing it
so well. They made a documentary about him called The
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(22:38):
two years to save a family of twenty one dogs
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(23:17):
seven seven three seven seven four three seven three is
the number. It's an asked doctor Jesse Friday. Varus ignores
Armenius's father in law and says, yeah, man, let's go
put down at bell A Rebellion and Varis in his
three legions. They take off in the rainy September into

(23:41):
the dark, dark German forest and they're never going to
come back again. The first day, Arminius is with the army.
Mind you at this time with the Roman army. The
first day they start seeing shadows in movements in the woods,

(24:05):
just individuals. It's weird, but not uncommon. These are wild people.
Some of these tribes are really wild. Some of them
are really not big fans of the Romans. And then
they start chucking rocks at the Romans with slings. Now,
when I say chucking, I don't want to say you
just reared back and through one. People were excellent slingers

(24:29):
back in the day. But still you're a Roman legion.
You're really not rattled by a few people throwing rocks
in the woods. And they couldn't get a hold of
these guys. It would be one, two at a time
that would show up out of the woods and chucked
one and take off. Not the end of the world.

(24:49):
A little disconcerting, because gosh, it is still man, it
is raining, it is so dark, I can't see them,
But not the end of the world. Right then you
make it through your first day and it was a
little crazy, and you're a Roman at the end of

(25:10):
any day. As a Roman understand this. They built quickly
the most amazing fortifications like that you can possibly imagine.
Rome would build basically a fort in a day, and
then every day they stayed there longer they would build
it up more and more. They were famous for this.
People say they conquered the world this way. If a

(25:30):
Roman army got someplace, give them three or four hours.
You're staring at you know, walls and stuff. But what
what what? How did they do that? They were famous
for it and they set up camp. No big deal, right,
They take off again the second day and Armenius goes
to Varius and says, hey, man, we keep getting these

(25:54):
guys throwing stuff at us. I'm gonna go on ahead
and I'm gonna scout things out, okay. Varius is like, yeah, yeah, good,
good deal. Take your German auxiliary unit and take off.
And he took off. And the second day started to
get really, really bad because those two or three guys
that were throwing rocks turned into ten fifteen guys and

(26:16):
they were throwing javelins. And now you're strung out because
it's a narrow path. You can't march in formation anymore.
You're not sure what to do, and now you have
dead people on your hands, and you can't get ahold
of these guys. They would show up through javelins, you'd
take off after them, they'd run away. You can't get them.
Then you go back in formation and you find your

(26:37):
buddy with a javelin through his gut. At the end
of the second day, you make camp and you have
a serious, serious problem on your hands because you're looking
around and calling a meeting of your lieutenants if you're Varius,
and a lot of them are dead, and you realize

(26:58):
your army is in bad, bad shape now because now
you have wounded, your men are exhausted. It is muddy,
and it is dark, and you are where they live now.
The Roman legion areas may have been incredible, and they were,
but they were really really incredible in the open, in

(27:18):
a thick forest where they can't form up joint shields.
They're in trouble. Varis sends out a cavalry unit. Hey,
go scout out this area. I think it was about
two hundred guys, if I remember right, Go scout out
this area, see if we can get out of here.
He's no longer interested in putting down a rebellion. He

(27:40):
knows he's got trouble on his hands. The cavalry unit
takes off, it is still within earshot, and they get
ambushed and massacred to the last man. Varis sat there
and listened to his men beg for mercy and received
none as they were slaughtered at the hands of the
Germans in a dark, dark forest. Varius remember his father,

(28:04):
Remember how that ended for him? Well, Varius decided, with
still i believe eight to ten thousand Roman legionaries under
his command, he decided he couldn't go on anymore and
takes his own life. And now you have eight to
ten thousand men minus lieutenants their commander in the dark forest,

(28:26):
and they don't know how to get home. And the
Germans you've noticed by this point in time, this is
not a tribe. This is at least three different tribes
from a different place of Germany, from a different part
of Germany. Meaning you now know this is highly organized,

(28:49):
highly planned, and you have to get out. Only there
have they have all these wounded men. So they set
up a camp and they leave about half the men
in this camp to tend to the wounded and try
to patch things up, and the other half takes off
and they get massacred too, And then the ones that

(29:11):
were at the camp finally, when it was all said
and done, get massacred too. And the Germans full of hatred. Well,
they saved the officers for last, and that didn't go
very well. They they got the treatment like slicing out

(29:33):
their tongues and then sowing their mouths shut. They got
crucified against trees. Remember that skull at the very beginning
that was stapled to the tree. They got that too.
They got boiled alive. They got their throats cut in

(29:53):
the dark, dark Tudeberg forest. Three Roman legions destroyed. Famously,
when someone came back and told Caesar Augustus that three
Roman legions had been destroyed in Germany, he pounded his
head against the wall and said, varies give me back

(30:14):
by legions to famous famous saying throughout history. But there
were no legions to give back. Should be noted. Remember
I said at the beginning, we were at the height
of Rome's power. Never again, ever did they hold territory

(30:36):
in Germany. They left. I would say they never came back,
but that's not quite true. A man named Germanicus led
that expedition I told you about in the beginning with
men from the unit, some of the few survivors, to
go try to recover the Roman standard. A Roman standard

(30:56):
was a big deal. You'll hear me talk about it
in the future, not today. It was there. They're symbol,
they're eagle at the end of a big stick and
It was not a small thing. This was not just nothing.
We actually have stories of the Romans as they're being
massacred in the swamps of this forest, trying to hide
the standard in the swamp water, the man with the

(31:19):
standard putting it under his shirt and diving under the
swamp water, trying to make sure he can keep it
from the Germans. But they found him, and they found
the standard. The end of Roman expansion took place in
nine at the hands of some Germanic tribes. A couple

(31:47):
of things really hit me as I was thinking about this,
and I was reading about it last night, and such one.
If you had told Rome before those three days that
they were done expanding, every single Roman to a man
would have laughed in your face. We're roam when we're

(32:08):
never done expanding. So when I look around at what's
happening right now and some poll numbers I'm about to
tell you, just occurs to me that trees don't grow
to the sky the Jesse Kelly show, EBB. Sleep. Remember that,

(32:45):
because it's about to change your life. Let's be honest.
We need seven eight hours of sleep every single night.
That's just what the doctors say. I'll tell you I
can feel it in myself. On the night's where I
get five or six, I'm not me the next day.
I need sleep, And when I try to get to sleep,
I can't turn my mind off. I lay down and

(33:05):
I'm thinking about the show or the why for kids,
coronavirus that the world. Who knows. But it's hard to
get that mind to just slow down and shut down
so you can go to sleep. That's what EBB Sleep
does for you. And they do that without drugs. They
do that without some kind of weird mouthpiece. It's a wearable,
drug free solution. It targets the cool the forehead area

(33:28):
with continuous cooling, making sure you fall asleep faster and
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on a him only side on me? Jesse Kelly. You're
listening to the Jesse Kelly Show. I have allowed myself

(34:17):
because I love my country. I've allowed myself to get
a little more down than I normally get about the
state of affairs because y'all know how frustrated I am
with these shutdowns and how idiotic I think it is.
And so I don't need to belabor the point again.
It's a Friday. I'm gonna get to your ask doctor
Jesse questions in just a second. We do have to

(34:40):
address that Biden statement from this morning, don't we, Chris,
you know what we'll do that next hour. I can't
do any more serious stuff right now. We will. I
swear we're gonna get to it. We're gonna get to
the Biden response and such. But I'll tell you I've
been down. I'm not talking crying in much cheerious. It sucks.

(35:01):
I can't. I don't do that, but it sucks. I
don't like it that I view the American people as
not what we should be anymore. And so I got
all these poll numbers last night. A buddy of mine
he was sending it's eighty nine percent of Republicans ninety

(35:22):
six percent of Democrats to pose immediate reopening. And I
was just I was mortified. I mean mortified. We got
thirty million unemployed in the whole Country's like, oh, I'm
still not going back to where I just did. It's horrible, right,
He sends me another part of the pool and it
showed almost half. It was a little less than half.
Forty eight percent of America supports the government tracking your

(35:47):
cell phone to see if you've been in contact with coronavirus,
almost half the nation. And he sends me this stuff,
and I'm I'm stunned, and I'm sending him stuff like,
oh gosh, I can't believe how'd we get here? And
then I woke up today and you know what I thought.
Priests don't grow to the sky. Even if and I'm

(36:12):
not saying it is, but even if this is, you know,
the end, I'm kidding, it's not the end. But even
if look what if what if we're Rome and nine eight?
What if we hit the peak? What if we hit
the peak? Does that mean it's the end of the world? Now,

(36:36):
of course not. Man, life goes on. It's not the
end of the world. So I choose not to look
at it that way. But I'll tell you this, if
you want to approach this one from a different angle.
Arminius in the end didn't win really anything. They beat
the Allegiance for sure, but he didn't keep power, or

(37:00):
he didn't. There wasn't a unified Germany either. The truth
is this the freedom fighters. If that's what you want
to call him. You could call him a trader, you
could call him a terrorist, you could call him anything
you want. But if you choose to look at a
guy like that as a freedom fighter, he was a minority.

(37:20):
There were fifty or sixty German tribes. Three of them
joined in on the ambush. Lots of them still wanted
to be Romans. If I have to be a minority,
if I have to be one of the few Americans
who thinks this entire thing has been absurd and that

(37:41):
we're crushing people's livelihoods unnecessarily, well that's fine. That's just
the way it's gonna have to be, isn't it. It's
a Friday period, so it's an asked Doctor Jesse Friday.
You can email me Jesse at Jesse Kelly Show dot com,
or you can call eight seven seven three seven seven

(38:01):
four three seven three. That's eight seven seven three seven
seven four three seven three. Allow us to begin with
the ask doctor Jesse questions. And I'm gonna motor through
a lot of these really really fast. I haven't planned
these out, so you're just gonna have to deal with
me reading them on the air Jesse. Will Mother's Day

(38:23):
this year be more pressure on men since lots of
states won't have restaurants to open? What's a good alternative
way to celebrate. I don't see why it would be
more pressure on men. There's no reason she can't cook.
It's not my mom. Ha ha, what, Chris? We could
We're allowed to We're allowed to say that. Tammy says,

(38:45):
do you ever tire of being right? You know? Here's
the thing about being right all the time? Like I am.
It's really more of a burden than anything. Chris, what what?
I'm trying to be humble? Can't you tell one has
to go ranch or Tabasco? Okay, I'm about to get upset.

(39:08):
I'm about to get upset, Chris. I told you I
wasn't gonna get upset. There is There are about nine
trillion better hot sauces than Tabasco. Yes, you know my
world famous burghers. I use Chipottle Tabasco for it. That
is the acceptable Tabasco sauce. There are so many amazing

(39:32):
hot sauces out there now. If you use Tabasco sauce,
I judge you. I do, Chris. When I see someone
with a jar tabasco sauce. I think to myself, then
look at that uncultured swine, and when it comes to ranch,
I admit this maybe a little strange. I don't like

(39:53):
it on my salad, and I like it on my fries.
Oh shut up, Chris, I did my fries in it.
I did my pizza in it. You still have never
even tried the pizza, Chris, I won't have those facial
expressions from you. Dip your pizza in it, then you'll know.
Then you'll know. Oh anyway, all right, doctor Chessie, who's hotter? Christy?

(40:20):
No him? Or Tulsi Tauls Gabbard sen him is dude?
K R I s t I N O E M.
Look up Christie? No him? Real quick? Hang up. My

(40:42):
phone grosses me out. Now. I wished it didn't. I
wish sometimes I wish I never knew. But I do know.
I know that my phone is a walking germ machine.
On average, your phone, in my phone, they carry around
more germs than a public rushed room. Isn't that disgusting?
Which is why I was excited when I found out

(41:03):
about clean phone Pro. Clean phone Pro kills ninety nine
point nine percent of the bacteria on your phone in
just three minutes. And they do it without spraying down
your phone with a bunch of nasty chemicals. You know,
I don't want skin cancer on my face either. They
do it with UBC lights. It's nine powerful UBC lights
and it also works on wallets and keys and other

(41:25):
things you have that just acquire germs that we never
think to clean. Go to America Firstshop dot com get
a clean Phone Pro. If you use the code Jesse,
you would get free two day FedEx shipping America Firstshop
dot Com Clean Phone Pro Doctor Jesse. What is the

(42:06):
worst part about being seven feet tall? Okay, for one,
I'm not seven feet tall. I'm six ft eight, Chris.
I think I'm six foot eight. I say, I think
because I understand. I didn't hit the I hit like
a a shootouse tall with it. I hit a three
or four inch gross spurt when I was nineteen, and

(42:26):
I never measured really after that. I stopped measuring at
six to eight. And I wear you know, I wear
cowboy boots for the most part, even when I'm dressing nice.
That's shut up, Chris, That's all I have. That's nice.
I wear cowboy boots. And people say they think I'm
seven feet tall? What if I am seven feet tall? Chris?
Do I want to know? Should I want to know?
I don't think I do? Man, Yeah, what if I

(42:50):
do have a tuitary problem? I think they say that
tall people don't live very long. I'm almost positive. Which,
let's be honest. If you've if you've listened to this
show for any length of time, you already know that
I am going to check out of here. Early's. That's
just the way it is. I've accepted it. I'm gonna
live my life, Chris, but there are Look, I'm not

(43:10):
going to complain about being tall, especially when I'm surrounded
by all you mitchets, but there are some drawbacks to it.
Hang on oxplay the Jesse Kelly Show. This is a

(43:53):
Jesse Kelly show. We're gonna get to that Biden audio
here in just a second. Go ahead and get that
stuff fired up, Chris, because Biden actually faced a tough
interview today. Good for her what's her name, Micah Prisinsky

(44:16):
whatever on MSNBC. She hammered him hard, and she's not
some card carrying conservative, and he didn't do very well.
It'll be a longer clip than I ever play for
you on the show. I may stop it. I may not.
It's a two minutes long. That's too long. Let's be honest.

(44:36):
You tune into this show to hear the sultry sounds
of my voice, So I'll play it for you in
just a second. Let me just say the worst part
of being tall is one buying pants. You don't think that,
but you realize that, for the most part, I cannot
buy pants off the shelf. I have to special order
my pants, and they cost a fortune. That's one. Two.

(45:00):
Air travel. Air travel sucks because I have to get
an emergency exit row seat. Oh what if someone else
already got the emergency exit row seat. Then I have
to try to angle up to first class, which either
costs a fortune or you're begging you're sitting in standby.
It's terrible. Now. Once I get up to first class,
if I ever do, I do take advantage of looking

(45:22):
down on all the peasants who aren't in first class.
I make sure I turn around when they hand out
the warm chocolate chip cookies and I eat it just
staring at the people behind me, right into their eyes,
and I'm oh, my gosh, it's so much better up here.
Did they not give you, guys any of these? Oh
that sucks, man, that sucks. Hold on, hold on, excuse me, stuardus.

(45:47):
May I have another whiskey? Please? Oh it's free a charge? Right? Oh,
good deal, deal, thank you? Anyway, back to this cookie? Now,
I don't do that, Chris, All right, let's hear this
Biden audio. Biden finally has to face down these allegations
against him, and he didn't do very well. I want

(46:08):
to get right to the allegation made against you by
Tara Reid, So, the former Senate aid accuses you of
sexual assault. And please, to our viewers, please excuse the
graphic nature of this, but I want to make sure
that there is no question as to what we're talking about.

(46:30):
She says in nineteen ninety three, mister Vice President, that
you pender against the wall and reached under her clothing.
Would you please go on the record with the American people,
did you sexually assault Tara Read? No, it is not true.
I'm saying on quivocally it never never happened, and it

(46:51):
didn't never happened. Do you remember her? Do you remember
any any types of complaints that she might have made.
I don't remember any type of complaint she may have made.
It was twenty seven years ago, and I don't remember,
nor does anyone else that I'm aware of. And the

(47:13):
fact is that I don't remember. I don't remember any
complaint ever having been made. Have you or your campaign
have you reached out to her? No? I have not
reached out to hers. Twenty seven years ago. This never happened.
And when she first made the claim, we made it
clear that it never happened. And that's as simple as that.

(47:38):
In the past thirty minutes or so, you released a
statement on medium, and among other things, you write this,
there's only one place a complaint of this kind could
be the National Archives. I am requesting that the Secretary
of State ask of the Senate asked the Archives to
identify any record of the complaint she alleges she filed.

(48:02):
If there was any such complaint, the record will be there.
Are you preparing us for a complaint that might be
revealed in some way? Are you confident there is nothing?
I'm confident there's nothing. No one ever brought it to
the attention of me twenty seven years ago. This is
any assertion at all. No one that I'm aware of

(48:24):
in my campaign at my Senate office at the time,
is aware of any such a request and or any
such complaint, and so I'm not worried about it at all.
If there is a complaint, that's where it would be
that you would be filed and if it's there, for

(48:45):
it out. But I've never seen it. No one has
it I'm aware of. Okay, one props to her. We
have her on the media a lot. That's a good interview, Chris.
Right now, I'm crazy that sounded that. It's very pointed.
Didn't badger him, but didn't back away. Asked the questions

(49:05):
I wanted to know, now, Biden. One, if you were
an innocent man, and you know I don't dig into
these whether it's true or not, because we don't know.
That's why I don't dig in. No, No, you don't
know if you were an innocent man, That's how I'd
answer it. Never happened, No, never happened, No, never happened,

(49:29):
never happened, never happened. Fine, I've no issue with that.
Here's a question, though, Chris, not to make this uncomfortable,
but what if he really just doesn't remember because his
mind has turned into Plato in the last six months.

(49:50):
I mean, let's be frank here. What did he say
twenty seven years ago? Have have you heard Joe Biden's
speak recently? Do you think Joe Biden, legitimately, without any
help could tell you what he had for breakfast yesterday?
Joe Biden cannot do a two minute TV interview without

(50:12):
reading from note cards or a teleprompter beside the camera.
Do you think that man remembers twenty seven years ago? Now?
One would hope if this is true, One would hope
you would remember assaulting a woman. But people don't remember

(50:34):
their own kids when they start to lose it like that.
They don't don't remember their wives. So I'm not going
to diswell on it. It's a little yucky. It's very yucky.
If it's true. I hope that woman gets justice. I
don't know. I don't know. All right, back to a

(50:57):
couple of things on the news here before we get
back to me, Chris asked doctor Jesse Friday. James Comey, Um, yeah,
did you get that audio of James Comey? Chris and
I don't worry about it. James Comey had previously bragged

(51:17):
about violating FBI policy to go after Michael Flynn a
very big deal. And rumor is I'm just saying a rumor.
I'm not going to dwell on this. Rumor is that
James Comey and John Brennan former CIA director John Brennan.
Rumor is they have lawyered up big time. I am

(51:43):
trying not to get my hopes up because you know,
I'm the residence cynic around here. But there is a
chance somebody might actually go down for the first time ever.
I know there's I know it's not gonna happen, Chris,
don't shake your head and ruin all my fun. So
anyway back to me, someone could go down, Chris, especially

(52:07):
if they switch parties through Republican or something, they might
end up getting busted. Oh what you know what I'm
talking about, Jesse. What's the best self defense gun? All right,
I'm about to make all of my millets. Well that's
not true. I'm about to make a lot of my
military guys angry, because especially the spec Ops guys, the

(52:29):
Green Berets and whatnot, they take this stuff deadly serious.
How many of these guys have you heard me interview
on the show. And I'll have to stop them because
they start talking over everybody said, actually, when you measure
the bullet velocity displacement. When everybody's like, uh, okay, do

(52:50):
you do you have that for people who can't shoot
a gnat in the balls from three miles away, I
would like, like, can you put that in terms I
can understand? So these guys hate when I talk like this,
But I'm about to make this real, real easy for you.
If you're looking around right now and thinking to yourself,

(53:11):
all right, it's a little nuts right now, I need
a self defense weapon, hang on a set. Boomer Naturals.

(53:33):
Don't laugh. The name is awesome, you know it is
because it's specifically targeted towards baby boomers. But this is
for everybody. And the reason they call it boomer Naturals
is they're all natural and right now they have what
you need face masks. There's not some brutal ninety day Wait,
they have the face mask you've been looking for. Look,

(53:54):
a lot of you want these, a lot of you.
Let's be honest, like it or not, you have to
have one. They're telling you you have to have one
when you go out in public, and have you been
down to your pharmacy. You can't find the dag on things.
But boomer Naturals they have one that gives you ninety
two point two percent antibacterial protection. It's washable, it's good

(54:15):
for thirty days. They have them for adults, and they
have them for kids. Not any of this one size
fits all garbage. Go to boomer Naturals dot com. Use
the code Jesse two zero at checkout save twenty percent.
Boomer Naturals dot com Jesse two zero missed out, catch
out Jesse Kelly Show dot com. What's the best personal

(54:59):
protection weapon? Let me help you out. It's the one
you're fast and deadly with. And I understand that I'm
gonna get now my email is gonna be flooded with
gun guys. You gotta understand. I've got the Glock ninety
five and I did a gel test shoot with the

(55:19):
Stig and the Brenda and the glock actually got more
maximum penetration when it was above ninety degrees but less
than sixty percent humidity. And seriously, how these people talk.
Go to a gun range, a gun range that rents handguns,
rents handguns and start renting before you even go to

(55:45):
the trouble of spending the money to rent one. If
you're trying to save a little cash, hold them, just
hold them. Everybody's hand is different, different shapes, different sizes.
My hands are enormous. I'm six foot eight. I have
huge hands. There are plenty of weapons out there that

(56:09):
my hands are actually way too big for. And it
bothers me when my ring, finger and pinky are hanging
off the bottom. It really bothers me. Some people, though,
they like that feeling. They shoot well like that. So
I can easily get a weapon in my hands that
is too compact for me. It does not work. My
wife is five two. The weapons I love, she flat

(56:33):
out can't even reach. She can't operate. I have a baretta.
It's one of several I have. One of several I
have is a baretta, and it's a big It's just
a physically large weapon as far as handguns go. She
cannot operate it. Hold a bunch, See which one can
you can comfortably operate? That's number one. Number two. Get

(56:59):
to the rain practice now. I will tell you Heavier
is better. Heavier is better when it comes to weight
of the weapon, because it's going to mean there's less
kick on the weapon. The heavier the weapon, the less

(57:20):
kick there is. Oftentimes you can have like a there's
a glock out there. Glocks are very light. There's a
glock out there that's loaded with a forty five caliber. Now,
I don't want to bore everybody to tears with this
nerd out stuff. A forty five is a heavier caliber.
There's a lighter A glock is a light weapon, A
light weapon with a heavy caliber. I actually didn't like it.
It was felt it felt like the round was too

(57:42):
much for the for the for the weapon. It did.
If I was going to shoot a forty five, I
would shoot a heavier, physically heavier weapon. You shoot the
biggest round you can possibly shoot that is comfortable for you,
and then are you ready for this practice? That's all

(58:06):
all it takes is practice. You know, all those guys
you love, and rightfully so, all the Green Berets and
the Navy Seals, the Air Force pj's, these guys are studs.
These guys are beasts. Do you know a lot of
those guys never shot a weapon before they joined the military.

(58:26):
They weren't born shooting somebody in the eye from one
hundred yards away with a handgun. That's probably an exaggeration,
but still, they weren't born that way. All it is
is practice. That's all you're seeing. Round after round after
round after round after It takes forever practice. And I'll

(58:47):
tell you something else as long as we're on the subject,
and then I'm gonna move off of this. Take a
safety class before, before you start practicing safety first, all ways,
when it comes to weapons, all ways, it's a deadly
machine in your hands. Act like it, now, doctor Jesse.

(59:09):
Who's who's going to be the ham picked Democrat nominee?
When when Joe Biden bows out? Okay, now, let me
say something. I do think there's a chance that Biden
bows out after this. I do after these assault allegations.
I think there's a chance he bows out. Probably not

(59:31):
a great chance, because he does have the best defense
in the world. I don't remember. Even if they dig
through the archives and they see a complaint, Biden can
simply say vocally and it's probably true. I don't remember
any of this. Biden can say, no, it never happened.
I don't remember. And because he's not a Republican, let's

(59:52):
be honest, we know what we're dealing with. Here. They're
not going to hound dog him into the ground. They're
not there. They are tackling this now simply because they
don't want to have to tackle this in October. So
he's gonna get some hard questions now, and then he's
going to say, look, I'm done with it. I answered
all these questions, period. That's it. However, here's a big

(01:00:15):
butt here, Chris. However, I had a long conversation last
night with a guy, guy I know, a guy I
know extremely wired into California politics. I will say, by
the way, quick side note, everybody asked me what the

(01:00:36):
best part of my job is now that I do
this for a living, three hours to radio every day,
in an hour of TV every day. The channel is
called the First. If you're looking for my TV show,
it's a blast. We haven't last there. Of course, if
you want to see me and hear me, Chris, which
who doesn't. All right, a guy I know Anyway, the
best part of my job I can't forget to talk

(01:00:57):
about that is now I know people, and I don't
know how that happens. You just get to know people.
Over time. You end up at the same convention, you
you're at the same dinner, you're you're stuck at the
same table. You have a beer together, you have a
cigar together, at the same eventing. You just over time,
you get to know a lot of people for some reason.

(01:01:19):
I know a lot of people, and I like it
because people tell me things. I know somebody in the
White House who talks to the President every single day.
He tells me things. Whatever I'm allowed to tell you.
I tell you. This guy in California is somebody very
much in the know, and he swears to me he's

(01:01:40):
not one of these guys either, who who calls just
to blow smoke. He swears to me. Gavin Newsom's camp.
You remember Gavin Newsom California. If you've been paying attention
at all, you've seen his face a lot on TV recently,
Haven't you a lot on TV recently? Haven't you? He's

(01:02:02):
always out there with a new statement and a new order,
and a new this and a new that. Gavin Newsom
is extremely ambitious from what I hear. You don't have
to be a genius to figure that out. Politically, ambitious
wants to be in the White House comes from the
most powerful state. When you're a Democrat, that's a lot

(01:02:24):
of Electoral College votes. That's a lot of money. That's
a lot of juice behind you. If you're a California Democrat,
that's a lot of weight. Newsom is relatively young, good looking,
speaks well. Now look, save your emails Jesse at Jesse
Kelly show dot com. He's a total liberal nutball and

(01:02:47):
a horrible governor. And I'll just cry myself to sleep
if the guy ever gets an elected president. But I'm
telling you he has the goods he does. He has
to look at Joe Biden and then look at Gavin Newsom. Yeah,
Javin Newsom's a star. He is. Whether he ever gets
the top job, I don't know. But the dude is
a star. And what my guy told me last night

(01:03:10):
was simply this, Gavin Newsom has his eyes on the
White House. Gavin Newsom was and is gearing up for
a twenty twenty four run. Over the past month, Gavin
Newsom has started to shift gears and put the groundwork

(01:03:30):
in place in case his twenty twenty four run becomes
a twenty twenty run. Now he can't run, right, He
can't openly run because you know they're having all these primaries.
They're canceling him. That means Gavin Newsom at least thinks
it's a possibility that Joe Biden is not going to

(01:03:51):
make it to the convention. And remember this, the primaries
are really just I mean, they're kind of a formality.
If Joe Biden backs out, the Democrats can nominate any
freaking person they want at that convention, anybody, a whole
new game. Then In't the jet bills suck? Let's just

(01:04:31):
be honest. They do. They stink. I don't like them.
Every single month they get them, and for some reason,
it still hurts every time what we have to pay
that I didn't I didn't realize this cell phone wasn't free.
And you know, it's even worse than bills you're expecting
once you're not like a big fat car repair, which
I recently had to do on my truck. It stinks.

(01:04:52):
You don't see it coming, it comes out of nowhere,
and then you're just left wondering what do I do?
What If there was a way out of that bill,
there might be you might qualify for Protect my car.
If you have a car, truck or re SUV ninety
nine or higher, there's a chance you could stop paying
for car repairs. What you need to do is dial

(01:05:13):
Star Star one two four four and see if you
qualify again Star Star one two four four. I'm not
telling you you do, but if you do, you need
to get protect my car. Get it today, Star Star
one two four four. It is time for our border

(01:06:03):
update with the man himself, Brandon Darby Rice for brightbart
dot com The Cartel Chronicles. Brandon. First of all, I
touched on it briefly yesterday. Tell us about the Lord
of the Skies. What's that? Tell us about the Lord
of the Skies. What was his name? Oh? Shoot, his

(01:06:26):
name escapes me. Now the guy with all the seven
forty sevens that died under surgery. Oh look, man, there's
a lot of that is a little bit you know, hyperbolic.
There's there's um, there's so many different interesting, you know,
cartel guys both in Mexico and Colombia. And we haven't

(01:06:48):
even started to really cover the Central American guys, the
guys from Italy, the guys from Russia, the organized crime
in Japan, that organized crime in China. The I mean,
we could go pretty much every region of the world.
In most nations have their own organized crime figures. You know,
the ones that we have in the United States who

(01:07:09):
are US based tend to be a little more subdued
and born because they're used to operating in a system
where there's there's still a lot of justice that occurs.
But but when we start getting south of our border,
there's so many insane stories. You know, there's so many
crazy stories just across the board, you know, with with

(01:07:32):
you know, some some groups specialize in getting things in
via air. Some groups specialized in getting things in via boats. Uh.
Some use fishing boats, some use try to use submarine
you know, like like homemade submarines or at least uh
boutique submarines, right, artists and artisanal submarines that that a

(01:07:52):
cartel made. Some use foot some use tunnel, some use
I mean it's really how do they use submarines? How
do they get a submarine? Well, they haven't made, man,
they're like a government. They have so much money. So
there's routinely like, yeah, they're not like submarines in the
sense like like our nuclear class subs, but there's subs

(01:08:15):
sit just under the water m and they bring shipments
to cocaine through that. Yeah, and then what they usually
do is drop them and then they figure out the
patterns of the of you know, in the in the
Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico, or they figure out
the patterns and the Pacific oceans, and then they'll drop
the loads and the loads will hit a certain part

(01:08:37):
of the beach they know when that's about the rough
area and wind, and then guys show up and pick
them up. And then if you on a more simple level,
if you go to the Texas, there's a lot of
fishermen in Mexico and that's what they do. As they
go off our coats, they fish. Nothing's done about it,
even though they're technically in our waters. And then they

(01:08:57):
just drop off loads. Those loads go right to the
beach and then US based gang pick them up and
take them out. Yeah, take the take the loads of cocaine.
I actually knew someone who found one while she was
in South Padre Island with her husband and they were
there and they found over a million dollars of cocaine.
It turned out just in this big bundle sitting on

(01:09:17):
the beach. And what had happened is somebody misjudged where
they put it, or somebody didn't find it and the
police got it instead. You know, US authorities got it instead.
So it's it's a pretty wild situation. I'd be scared
to touch it. I'd be scared I'd get murdered. Well,
you know, I don't know. I wouldn't. I would obviously.

(01:09:40):
I mean, we routinely call him when we're on our
border trips. If we see loads, we call it in right,
we call law enforcements and they do something about it.
So I if you took it and you tried to
like go and sell it, they would probably murder you, yeah,
if they found out you did that. But if you
just called the police because you saw it, they probably

(01:10:01):
would have. You know, they figured that that's in the
realm of not personal. But if you if you absolutely
if you took their load, you would probably end up
in trouble. Yet, oh man, that's all right. Why not?
We hear these stories all the time about all this violence,
and you know, and the Guadalajara cartel breaks up, and
the Wars cartel rises, and then Sinaloa and the Golf

(01:10:23):
cartel uses it to Zetas and then they break off.
And you're welcome to correct me on any of these
high points. I'm hitting here, and now they're all slaughtering
each other. And there's what four or five, I don't know,
probably more than that. You see, there's a bunch of
smaller ones, which obviously means it's true. Why not do
what they did before, what the American mafia has done

(01:10:43):
in the past, and just sit around a table and say, look,
this is a lot more profitable. We're not killing each
other by the thousands. Well, you know, so there are
actually hundreds of various cartels, right and especially if we
look at the even the Golf cartel is really at

(01:11:07):
this point it's multiple different cartels. Uh Lozetta is really
just CBN, but faction, but maybe there's another. There's a
couple of different factions within CBN, but there's the same cartel.
Then we get to the Sinaloa folks, and the Sinaloa
Folks are hundreds of different, you know, pre existing criminal
groups who operate under the banner of the Sinaloa Federation

(01:11:33):
Um you know, which is run by the Sinaloa Cartel.
And then the Jalisco Cartel is a one of those
groups that was a breakaway and is now trying to
be its own cartel, and now it has several factions
that so there really are a lot of different cartels
if we're gonna you know, or transnational organized criminal groups
based in Mexico who operate across the international Boarders of

(01:11:58):
Central America in the u US. But but the problem
is is that they're not rational, usually not rational people, right,
So we're dealing with people who have sent their entire
lives killing people, trying to kill people in the most
extreme manners as possible, right, so very deranged, demented. They
don't just kill you, they torture you, put out a

(01:12:20):
video and then skin you alive and then show your
skin hanging from the bridge or you know, these are
the kind of things that they do. So they're not
really that it's impossible to get all of those people
to agree like they used to agree. Now. The thing
is is back in the day when it was one
cartel that controlled everything and they were largely left alone

(01:12:44):
because they kept the peace, that's when they did what
they did. The Kiki came arena and they tortured him.
They had doctors keep them alive so they could continue
to torture him, and they did that to the US
federal agent. And that's really when the US started to
really crack down on them and take them seriously. I
don't think seriously enough at this point, but I think

(01:13:05):
that some agencies definitely try to take them seriously. But
that's what happens. So it isn't a situation where they
were getting along and we stepped in and then now
they're in chaos. It's like, no, they were getting along,
they were left alone largely. Then they took actions that
were of such extreme nature that it made it where
we had to do something. So it really isn't a

(01:13:28):
situation where we could do that. I think that the
US and Mexico both try to play softball with the
Sinaloa cartel as they go after other cartels more, and
I think that does help the Sinaloa cartel. So I
think there is some effort at least on the part
of Mexico for sure. And I think if you also
look at high NL dollars and how they're spent, how

(01:13:50):
we spend our cacpier dollars to go after cartels, most
of that money is being spent not focusing on the
Sinaloa cartel. So one could make the argument that we're
wishing the Sinaloa would just take back over everything like
the Guadalajara had and keep peace. But but that's not

(01:14:10):
really working out well because you have all these egos.
You know. It's like if you took you know, you
have the Sinaloa cartel, can you even keep its own
cartels in line? Because those guys have egos and they
want more money and they want more glory. And when
you're in that world, that's what you're When you're dealing
with a bunch of guys who want gold played to

(01:14:30):
Doune and that's what they want to carry around all
the time. It makes it kind of difficult to tell
them all to fall in line and be second place,
a fifth place, because they want to be first place.
They want the women, they want the cars, they want
the money, and they want the narco polidos. They want
the songs written about them. Even if it means they're
going to die soon because of it, they don't care.

(01:14:53):
They just want that glory and that's what they want
to do. You have to understand these guys live their
lives expecting that they're going to and die. They don't.
They don't value longevity or long term financial stability like
we do. Brandon Darby Breitbart dot Com, Cartel Chronicles. Read
all his stuff. I read everything he writes. I appreciate you,

(01:15:13):
my man. All right, brother, chairs, we're gonna churn through
these headlines now, Chris, I promised, and we will. I
love to sleep, and I don't love to sleep just
because you know the better ist nice and comfortable. I
love to sleep because I can tell what a different
person I am the next day after I've had a

(01:15:35):
good night's sleep. I know you go through that too.
How are you are? You? Are you nasty the next
day when you don't get enough sleep? I'm sad to
admit I am. I tend to snap a little bit
less creativity at work half the time. I don't even
want to drive anywhere. I just want to sit there
and zone out. That's why I'm thrilled I discovered EBB Sleep.
It's EBB spelled EBB by the way, eb sleep. It's

(01:15:58):
a drug free solution that keeps me asleep and puts
me asleep faster by applying cooling to my forehead. Keeping
those thoughts at bay, Keeping those thoughts that keep me
up at bay. Go to tryeb dot com slash Jesse
that's try ebb dot com slash Jesse used the code

(01:16:18):
Jesse at checkout for twenty five bucks off tryeb dot
com slash Jesse promo code Jesse miss something. There's a
podcast getting on demand wherever podcasts are found, The Jesse
Kelly Show. I have decided on in honor of Jewish

(01:17:02):
producer Chris, I am anna start digging in more to
these political headlines and various headlines that he has given me,
because at the end of every week, I don't throw
them away really until the week's over. Well, let's just
be let's be frank. I get to like two stories
a day, and then I get distracted with various things

(01:17:22):
we talk about, food or stories we've been screwing around today,
and so I have all my stories throughout the week
here sitting in this gigantic stack, and so Chris doesn't
think I can do it, but I'm going to try
to churn through these and be really, really really brief, Chris,

(01:17:44):
really brief. So get ready. First story, we're gonna knock
this out. On a Friday, Austin drivers are seeing a
spike in crashes involving injury with nobody on the road. Look,
this is easy to explain. This is easy to explain.
And here's why. I can't speak for the little old

(01:18:06):
lady drivers. I can only speak for myself. I drive fast,
really fast. Now I am not that guy. Let me clarify.
I have to clarify. I am not that guy weaving
in and out of traffic, flipping people the bird. Don't
be that guy. Don't be that guy. I just drive

(01:18:29):
at a high rate of speed whatever the fastest car
is going within reason. You know, you all see that
guy who come blazing up doing one hundred and five.
I'm not him either. But look, if the fastest guys
doing sixty five on a stretch of highway, I'm gonna
do sixty five. If the fastest guys doing eighty, I'm
gonna do eighty. If the fastest guys doing eighty five,

(01:18:49):
I'm probably gonna be there with it. Recently because I
still get to come to the studio, which is hilarious, Chris,
because they have deemed us a central personnel. Is there
anybody less essential than me? But anyway, so they've did
this essential personnel, so I get to come to the studio.

(01:19:11):
There's been no traffic. I've been driving a lot faster man.
The truth is, it's not necessarily the speed limit or
even fear of getting pulled over that holds you back.
It's just other cars. You're driving as fast as the
other traffic will allow you to drive. And not only that,

(01:19:32):
you get complacent. I've seen it happen to me where
I don't. You know, I don't text and drive. Again,
I'm not. I'm not doing this. I'm an angel thing.
But it's not like I never have. But it's just
not something I do. I've seen enough car rex It's
really ugly. People forget how ugly and violent a car
wreck is. It is ugly, so I don't do it. However,

(01:19:58):
I've looked a couple of times because there's no one
else on the road. In the past few weeks, I've
looked a couple of times. I'm not sitting there hammering
out a thesis, but I'll see, you know, someone has
texted me something. I'll pick it up and do a
quick sideways. Long story short, I'm not going to belabor
the point because I don't want to take too long
on an article and get the side eye from Chris.

(01:20:18):
What's happening is the same thing that always happens with
human nature. We don't have people holding us bad. We
feel a little more loose, start driving a little too fast,
and you get yourself in trouble. I've seen it happen
a couple of times out there now because they're doing
all the road construction. Now it's bad because there's no

(01:20:38):
one on the road. All right, that's it, Chris. That
was only like two minutes on that one little thing.
Boom already done. Next headline. This is from Freebeacon dot com.
Deficit politics is back. Recent reports projecting the federal budget
deficit will swell to nearly four trillion dollars this year
have left some, including Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, wary

(01:21:01):
of dropping more cash indiscriminately on the crisis, but others,
including President Donald Trump, has signaled a thirst for more borrowing,
especially as global demand for safe haven assets has driven
interest rates on US debt near zero. Now here's the deal.

(01:21:23):
I despise this kind of deficit in debt spending. I'm
one of the few people who actually cares about spending,
and I should what I say, actually cares. I mean this.
Your politician probably claims to care about spending. They all
do but ask them what they'll cut, and they can
never answer the question because you don't get elected to
office by offering to cut things. You get elected to

(01:21:46):
office by offering goodies. You get elected by offering more spending.
So they can't answer it. However, if you were to
ask me what I wanted to cut, I would pull
out a list of almost every federal agency and I
would show you me dropping all their budgets to zero.
I'm not even exaggerating. I would completely eliminate more than
half the government agencies out there. I realized that's not popular.

(01:22:10):
But when I say I care about spending, I legitimately
care about it a lot. Why it's not just because
it's nice, it's have you ever seen what happens in
a nation when hyperinflation hits? Have you seen what happens
to a nation when the money's all gone and austerity

(01:22:34):
measures have to be implemented. You're going to see the
national guard try to hold people back. It's that ugly. So,
because I know that's the end game, I actually do care. However,
there's something I have to give President Trump credit for

(01:22:54):
purely that's going to have to wait a second. Hang on,
I don't know how to fight the RS. You probably

(01:23:16):
don't either. Let's be honest. We're amateurs at that. And
when it comes to the IRS, that is what they do.
They come after you and they get their money, don't
they all the time? Right? Well, slow down on that.
You can get a professional to help you. It's called
paramount tax relief. It's time you find out about it.
There's a chance, if you owe ten thousand dollars or

(01:23:38):
more the IRS that you qualify for the new CNC
tax program if you do. If you do, it'll allow
you to stop making payments to the IRS while you're
in the program. But you don't know about this, and
I don't know about this until you call paramount tax relief.
They're professionals. They do this for a living. Give them

(01:23:58):
a call. Eight hundred eight one six eight seven forty nine.
Eight hundred eight eight one six eight seven forty nine.
The IRS is not going to forget about you call
paramount tax relief. Eight hundred eight one six eight seven
four nine. Where I will give President Trump credit when

(01:24:35):
it comes to the deficit and debt, it's not it's
not agreeing with him. Instead, Donald Trump never claim to
care about death or deficit. At least you can say
that I'm not you know, I'm not that you know.
I don't wave pom pomps for anyone. But he didn't

(01:24:56):
lie about it. Donald Trump never claimed to be a conservative,
and he never claimed to be a deficit hawk. He's
been great for the conservative things I care about. But
he never said I'm gonna run and cut cut, cut
the debt. He never did. He doesn't care about it,
so you can't hardly faults him for it. All these
other congressmen and senators, how long have they been telling you, well,

(01:25:21):
after cut spending, wool cut spending, Obama's debt is out
of control. Look at these deficits. Here we are with
four trillion yikes. The Jesse Kelly Show, this is the

(01:26:25):
Jesse Kelly Show. Pay attention now, Pay attention. Radio cares
dot org, r A d I O cares Just c

(01:26:50):
A r ees dot org. The Jesse Kelly Show has
given ten grand to it. You do likewise five bucks,
ten bucks, one hundred bucks, thousand bucks, if you can do,
if you can do more, do more. What it is
is a huge fundraise or going on right now. It

(01:27:13):
raised over half a million to feed people Americans, believe
it or not. In this amazingly wealthy country we have.
Because of these shutdowns, Americans are going hungry. You've seen
the lines. If you haven't yet been paying attention, food lines,
emergency food banks everywhere. Give if you can give, Radiocares

(01:27:39):
dot org. It goes to feeding people. All right, I'll
leave that alone for now. Back to the list, Chris,
the list which you said I would not get to
shut up. I know it's only two stories. I'm getting there.
Not superhuman over here. Michigan House does not extend the

(01:28:00):
state of emergency. As protesters storm inside of the Capitol
House of Representatives past the resolution authorizing the Speaker of
the House to commence legal action on behalf of the
House challenging the governor's authority and actions during the coronavirus pandemic.
Governor Whitner can't Whitmer, who's kind of hot. By the way,

(01:28:21):
Governor Whitmer cannot veto the resolution. Look up, Governor Whitmer
while I talk here, Christ and tell me what you think.
Hundreds of people showed up outside the state capitol to
protest Governor Whitmer's effort to its efforts to extend the
state of emergency. They stood outside for a couple hours
before moving inside of the Capitol building, chanting, let us in, well,

(01:28:48):
I love being rights. I'm sorry that I'm right about this,
but I told you all exactly what was going to happen.
There are radio and TV records of it. The second
the first shutdown was put into place, the first one,
when all the rest of America was I'll thank you,
Daddy government, I love you. Please keep me safe from harm,

(01:29:13):
Daddy government. I'll be your servant whatever you want. I
was the one telling you this is going to end
up in violence if these continue for too long. You see,
you're already seeing the escalation, aren't you. It was twenty

(01:29:33):
idiots on the beach in California. Then it was a
thousand people on the beach in California. Then it was
people chanting. Then it was a car protest. What was
that just two weeks ago, Chris. They lined up in
Michigan and cars trying to be safe about a while.
We just look, we're social distancing, but we're bad open
this economy. And then they got out of their cars,

(01:29:58):
and then it started being an in person protest, and
then it was an in person protest with some people
carrying weapons, and yesterday it was an in person protest,
and now they're storming the Capitol building. What do you
think it is tomorrow? What do you think it is

(01:30:21):
next week? What do you think it is the week after?
There is a growing storm coming. And these politicians, I
hope they're paying attention. Because as much fun as we
have on the show, and as much violent history stuff

(01:30:42):
as we talk about, because it's spicy and it's interesting
and we love it and you love it and I
love it, I don't want to see a single person
in the United States of America get hurt. I genuinely
do not. And I'm really worried we're approaching a point
where someone's going to get hurt. I am. And you
know how the first one always happens, Chris, when it

(01:31:02):
comes to stuff like this, It'll be an accident or
one wing nut, and then that grows too, and then
that grows too, and then the pushback comes the other way.
And just look, you cannot lock people in their homes
for an extended period of time. Not only have I

(01:31:24):
been vocal about the economic devastation of this, this is
horrible for people's mental health. And it's amazing to me
that I can see this in these politicians and doctors
cannot because I am a sociopath. My friend Michael Berry,
my mentor in this business, actually says I'm a disassociated sociopath.

(01:31:47):
Which Chris, look that up and give me a definition
on that print that off I want to read what
that means. But that's what he says that I am,
and he's right. I just I don't have the same
emotional connection that other people do. I don't have really
a soul or any kind of a moral compass at all,
but I realize others do. And maybe it's because I

(01:32:09):
live with someone else. I call her my wife, But
I see how this affects her. It really really affects her,
and she's not exactly a down in the dumps, whole
hum type. This has affected her. Not being able to
leave the house, not being able to socialize, not being

(01:32:29):
able to go out to a restaurant, not being able
to go out with the girls for a glass of
wine at some little piano bar, not being able to
it has affected her a lot. And if I can
see it when it hasn't affected me, it just hasn't
I still get to come to the studio and to
be frank, I know you actually probably will find this shocking.

(01:32:53):
I like my own company. I'm fine by myself, totally fine.
And it's so if I can see how damaging this is,
how can all the supposedly smart people not see it.
I went to community college. How can I see it
and they can't see it? How can a doctor, I
don't care that he's an infectious disease doctor. How can

(01:33:15):
you not see that extended lockdowns are bad medicine. Forget
about bad for the economy, It's bad for your health.
You need to get out there in the germs. You
need to strengthen that immune system. Start taking some Omega XL.

(01:33:37):
By the way, too, Georgia governor will allow shelter in
place order to expire tonight. Wait, that was last night, Chris,
he allowed to expire. I guess we're always We're always
all over this. Look, we're about to see a really
interesting thing. You remember how I said, I know people,

(01:33:58):
I heard something, And this is not something like the
other thing I heard about Gavin Newsom. This is a
heard from a guy who heard from a guy thing.
So I am not standing by this one. But I
heard there was a nationwide phone call. This was a
month ago. I heard there was a nationwide phone call

(01:34:21):
with all the governors there, and I heard they thought
at that time that these lockdowns were going to go
beyond May first, that they knew they were, that they
weren't telling the public because they were worried about civil unrest. Now,
remember this is not me telling you I know this.
This is a heard from a guy, heard from a

(01:34:42):
guy thing. I'm not saying it's untrustworthy, but I heard it.
And I also heard they were worried about some governors
saying up yours were opening anyway. And as soon as
I saw Trump blast Georgia's governor for opening up, I
thought to my myself, I bet you that's why he's mad.

(01:35:04):
I bet you he was on that call telling people,
don't be the guy who opens and makes the rest
of us look bad. And I bet you that's what
upset him. And you know what, good for Governor Kemp
of Georgia. Good for him. They are not ravaged by coronavirus.
They're ravaged by unemployment. They have people drowning in poverty.

(01:35:27):
Right now. I love it. He's stepping up and saying
we are done with his shelter in place. Crap. Good
for him. Look at that Chris pour through that we
were only shut up. I've got like, well, I've shoot,
I've got another twenty or so here. I'm never making
it through this. I'm gonna come close though. I can
feel it. I can feel it. Bear with me, hang

(01:35:47):
on a stick, Jesse Kelly. I'm not a germophobe. I

(01:36:13):
don't want anybody accusing me of being a germophobe because
I'm not that guy. But the truth of the matter
is this. When I walk in a public restroom, even
a restroom here at the studio with all these other
people around, it grosses me out a little. I think
about the fact people aren't washing their hands, and this
wasn't washing. It's kind of gross. Right now, think about

(01:36:33):
your cell phone. Your cell phone is probably dirtier than
that public restroom. We know that. Now you need a
clean phone Pro. It's time to start disinfecting that phone
on a regular basis. And clean phone Pro it uses
UVC lights and it kills ninety nine point nine percent
of that disgusting bacteria on your phone. You do the

(01:36:54):
same thing. I do. You touch your phone, you set
it down, You do it here, you're talking into it.
It's gross. Make it not gross. Go to America Firstshop
dot com and get the clean Phone Pro. Now use
the code Jesse. You get free today FedEx shipping America
Firstshop dot Com Clean Phone Pro. I don't like this

(01:37:38):
new development I've seen from my staff here. Chris and
Mitchell are conspiring against me. When I brought up the
disassociated sociopath, which I've been accused of being, and I
had Chris look it up. Not only are they having
a good little snicker over there pointing at me, Chris
has printed off some of the traits and I see

(01:38:02):
him over there with a highlighter. I will get to
those in a moment. Whenever he gets them to me.
I think he's being a jerk. Let us go back
to the news. Naked Kimberly man rescues kitten from the
clutches of a two and a half foot python. A
Washington man says a snake handling course he completed a
few years ago would have been more useful if it

(01:38:22):
included instructions on kitten rescue. Nick Kerns ended up bloodied,
but triumphant after he snatched his cat, Lil. This cat
is named Lil from the Brink of certain death after
she was attacked by a python. Mister Kearns was assisted
by his partner during the struggle. Despite being afraid of snakes.

(01:38:44):
She held the marauding serpent's tail. In what universe does
it helped to hold its tail? That's the wrong end, lady,
Go hold the head. What are you talking about? What
it's a two and a half meter python. So what
that's six foot six? That's seven feet? Yeah, eight feet

(01:39:08):
That sounds big. That's not that big. Well, yeah, I
guess it depends on how fat it is. Yeah, which
who among it? Look, it's Friday night. You know we're
all gonna tell ourselves that same thing at some point.
Stop Chris, all right now. Criteria and Features of Personality disorder.
This is Chris printed off my sociopath thing and what

(01:39:31):
a jerk he made he made check marks and highlights.
The DSM five includes ape and I don't even understand
what these words mean includes APD. Under the heading of
personality disorders, impairments in both self and interpersonal personalities are present,
as well as pathological traits symptoms tend to begin in

(01:39:51):
adolescence or early adulthood and continue over many years. Some
symptoms someone with antisocial personality disorder may exhibit are So
this is sociopath, right, Chris, all right? This is one
Chris checked being very charming or witty in order to
manipulate someone or get what they want. That's not true,

(01:40:16):
That's all right, he says. It was the RV sales
thing that I walt. All Right, Okay, that's true. Number
two exudes a sense of superiority or arrogance completely not me. Ridiculous, impulsive,
and prone to taking risks or engaging in dangerous behavior

(01:40:37):
with little regard to how it may affect others. Yeah,
that's definitely me. Look, I sometimes you just gotta leap, Chris.
Sometimes you just have to leap and you deal with
the consequence. Shut up. Next one lack of empathy or
feelings towards others in a situation. See is this about

(01:41:02):
the telling the kids about the dead dog thing? It's
not about that, is it. Do you remember that story?
For those of you who don't, My folks had a dog.
Its name was Jack. My folks had a dog, all right.
My boys loved that dog loved it. They would just

(01:41:23):
run around and play with that dog endlessly. Whenever they
got together. Jack was getting up there in years thirteen,
fourteen years old, Jack kicks the bucket. Boom had to
put him down. It was suffering. They put him down.
You know, it's terrible thing, especially when it's your dog.
Like I've told you before. You can accuse me of
being a sociopath all you want. I've cried burying my

(01:41:44):
own dogs before, Chris, I have feelings. I get home
that night. My folks live in Montana. The dogs dead.
My boys don't know yet. I get home that night.
The wife had waited for me. She's like, Okay, let's
let's talk about how we're going to tell the boys.
And I was like, what do you mean how we're
going to tell the boys? Well, we need to break

(01:42:06):
this to them gently. Chance night, Nah's rip that band
aid off. I just walked in and out there and
I said, boys, Jack's dead, and one of them broke
down crying and the other one was sad, which I
was then accused of being my fault. I didn't think
that was lacking lacking empathy. I think I viewed that

(01:42:26):
as being just direct. I think people accuse. I think
they think my directness is lacking empathy. I have empathy, Chris.
I'm not gonna have any empathy on those cheddar Bay
biscuits from Red Lobster. I'm about to hammer down tonight
because Texas is open. Baby may display hostile, aggressive behavior
or become violent. That's not me anymore. That certainly was,

(01:42:47):
but it's not me anymore. Being dishonest or lying to people, well, yeah,
no regard or care for what is right or wrong,
and you have that highlighted. That's rude. I care about
what's right or wrong. I don't, dang it. No, I
kind of do, maybe a little, probably not being irresponsible

(01:43:10):
Jack inability to maintain healthy relationships, that's not true, because
I just don't maintain any of them. And last one,
lack of regard for rules or societal norms. Okay, that
is very true. So how many of these do I
need to have, Chris, because I definitely, Oh geez, I
only need five because I definitely have like seven of these.
Dang it, all right, all right, there you have it.

(01:43:33):
Disassociated sociopath. Back to the list, Chris, the list you
said I'd never go to Biden Camp refuses to open
up Senate papers. We already covered that. Today Chris Cruz
introduces bill to a halt government cooperation with China subordinate
movie studios. Well, here's the issue. This is from Graham
pro at Free Beacon. I don't know how to handle

(01:44:01):
China going forward because they're so invested here, like Hollywood,
I mean, like all those Marvel movies made by Disney.
Iron Man three actually inserted scenes specifically for a Disney release.

(01:44:25):
That movie Bohemian Rhapsody. Twentieth Century Fox put it out.
It removed a same sex kissing scene because it was
about Freddie Mercury. It removed a one minute long same
sex kissing scene so it could be released in China.
Apparently they're not a big fan of the games over there.

(01:44:48):
So it's not good. I mean, it's it's certainly not
good that we are editing movies for China. It's not
and I love take cruise. The question is do we
ne a bill? Do we need a new law? And
here's my question. You can like the sound of the law,
but pay attention, be very very very very very very

(01:45:11):
very careful if you ever start a sentence with we
need a law do we have. Is the problem we
face right now in the United States of America as
you survey the landscape, is the problem that we don't
have enough laws. I don't think that's the problem. I

(01:45:32):
think we've got too many by a long shot. We
have too many laws. We have too many lawmakers. Period.
We don't need laws. It was it cool, adge, you
said I didn't. I didn't run for office to pass laws,
so I ran for office to repeal bad ones. Or

(01:45:54):
said that might have been very goldwater. Look, I don't
do research or read for the show. So if you're
looking for any sort of accuracy with the things you're
hearing here, you have come to the wrong place. But
it's kind of it's kind of freeing. Actually, I should note.
I should note I'm chopping through this headline list. Next one,

(01:46:14):
dossier author Christopher Steele had previously undisclosed meetings with lawyers
for the DNC and the Clinton campaign. There's a lot
to unpack here, so I'm not sure I'm going to
be able to get to it all. Let me just
say this, we're not talking about the fact that President

(01:46:39):
Barack Obama, under his watch, the FBI got an illegal
FISA warrant on a political opponent, and they did it
using an operative for the Hillary Clinton campaign. Yikes. Boomer

(01:47:02):
Naturals remember it. The naturals is important. Yes, they call
it boomer Naturals because it's specifically targeted to baby boomers
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(01:47:24):
everybody has a new pill for this or something for that.
I'm not about that, and I don't think you should
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(01:47:47):
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(01:48:25):
are blowing through the headlines that Chris said I would
not get to. I would like to point out next
one salmon cannon coming to help threaten Frasier Rish Frasier River,
fish Bypass rock Slide. That's a that's a terrible headline.

(01:48:45):
Oh no, wonder Look it's from Canada. Figures. Is there
anything lamer than Canada? Chris, now, hold on, don't say anything.
My wife is half Canadian. She was born in America.
For one, two she was on the Canadian gymnastics team,
so we all know what I was after three. The
problem with Canada is while the land is beautiful and

(01:49:10):
the women are hot, the food sucks. And that's because
they don't have enough Mexicans. They don't have enough people.
From what I'm serious, it's very bland. Why do you
think everybody loves Texas food so much? Everyone? Why do
you think that is because we have so many different
ethnicities here, We have so many people from so many
places and there's such a huge Mexican influence here that

(01:49:32):
the food is amazing. There's spices and flavors and there's
just there's something for everybody. But you go to one
of these places that's as white as snow. I mean,
maybe that's maybe that's your arian dream, but the food's terrible.
I hope you enjoy, you know, pot roast, because that's

(01:49:52):
what you're getting. I need flavor, man, I need queso
and salsas and spice and jalapenos. I need it. What Chris,
He's right? Chris says, they did invent the salmon cannon.
They did. They did. Apparently this thing launches a salmon

(01:50:13):
that can't possibly be right. No way, one hundred and
sixty meters. There's no dude, that's a that's a foot,
that's a football field and a half. Really, the fish
ladder will, in theory, help migrating salmon gain the elevation
necessary to move into a holding pool below the slide area.

(01:50:36):
Oh please, Chris, you need to reach out to these people.
We have to operate a salmon cannon. Yes, I need
to launch a salmon. Yes, get me on that quote.
Oh we're moving on. By the way, I don't do transitions,
all right, I just kind of speak. Next headline, small
business loans above two million dollars will get the full

(01:50:57):
audit to make sure their valid And Manuchin says, he's
here's a problem we're going to have going forward, and
it's a problem we have now. They handed out all
this money. All right, there was a big pool of
money for businesses, right the PPE loans they called them.
Hang on, I'm gonna drink coffee on the air. Ah.

(01:51:24):
They had this big pool of money for PPE loans.
And these loans a banker, a banker is made aware
of them. I'm simplifying things here, but just know this
is how it works. A banker is made aware. Okay,
you there is this much money available for a loan. Well,
these bankers have their phones blown up. As soon as

(01:51:46):
small businesses, any business, big businesses saw that this money
was available. Well, everybody wants some free money. You're offering
interest free loans. In many cases loans people don't have
to pay back. Uh yeah, they're gonna be on the horn,
even if they don't need it. You cannot appeal to
people's charity when you have a gigantic pot of free money.

(01:52:08):
It's honestly, and you can judge them all you want.
I do not because I want you to imagine this.
If you're going to judge these businesses, I want you
to imagine this. Like the Lakers got busted because they
took something like four million dollars and they had to
give it back. Before you judge them. Hear me out
your workplace wherever you work, or if you're a stay
at home mom or something. Picture your neighborhood. All the

(01:52:30):
little hens gather around and you're gossiping about everybody else.
I don't know what you do, and I want you
to picture your workplace or your little henhouse. You've got
a gigantic pot full of solid gold coins. Each one
of these gold coins is worth a thousand dollars, and
there's this huge pot of them. But there's only one pot.

(01:52:51):
And you know there's only one pot. And they go
around to the office and they tell everybody, Hey, I
don't know if you've heard. There's a big pot of
gold coins in the break room. They're worth a thousand
dollars apiece. Now, once the money runs out, once those
gold coins run out, we can't replace it. There's no extra.
So only take a gold coin or two or five

(01:53:14):
if you need it. Nobody take a gold coin unless
you need it. How many people do you think are
not going to go to that pot and grab a
gold coin, even you right now? I see you. I
see you. Don't think I can see you through the radio.
I see you well, I wouldn't do it. Yes you would, Yes,

(01:53:38):
you would, even if you just went and got one. Right, Well,
I don't need it, but I mean it wouldn't wouldn't
hurt to get a new dishwasher. One's not gonna hurt.
Of course, they're all going to go tap into the
small business loan money. And now you have like like

(01:53:58):
you have this Axios, this big media company, they jacked
five million and they're giving it back the Lakers. I
told you it was four or five million giving it back.
All these all these bigger companies getting busted taking out
these loans and then getting shamed into giving them back.
And now Minuchan says they're gonna they're gonna audit everybody
over two million. You hand it out a pot of

(01:54:23):
gold Man and you put it in the break room.
How did you think that was gonna go? And I
genuinely want to know that, did somebody? You have all
these brilliant minds, all these captains of industry, all these
guys run this company. I was a CEO of that company.

(01:54:44):
I'm worth fifty million, I'm worth a hundred million. I'm
a billionaire. I got all these geniuses sitting around the
table did somebody really say if we put the pot
of gold in the break room, only the people who
need it will tap into it. That thought actually go
through someone's head. Come on, now, people, let's understand who

(01:55:05):
we are. You don't have to love it, let's understand
human nature. Take a minute and understand who we are.
Everybody is gonna go tap into that pot of gold.
Everyone who can do it. And if you have to
sneak into the break room, because everyone knows you're doing
just fine. In fact, you just got a promotion. But

(01:55:27):
you're still gonna try to sneak in that break room,
aren't you. Ah, maybe you get caught, and you know, oh,
I was just looking. I was I just wanted to
see what the gold coins look like. I wanted to
put this one back, which is exactly what you're seeing now.
But you're gonna try to swipe one of those coins,
you know it? I know it? Be serious. Next headline

(01:55:50):
up yours Chris. I am doing well? Am I gonna
get through a shut up? Yeah? It's ten right up. Next,
Bill bar Memo orders US attorney used to be the
lookout for civil liberties violations amidst coronavirus crisis. I'm sorry.
Did you say did you say be on the lookout,

(01:56:15):
With all due respect to ag Barr, do you guys
have the internet in that office? Do you have television?
Be on the lookout for civil liberties violations? They arrested
a pastor for holding a church service in Florida. Chris,

(01:56:36):
refresh my memory about the Constitution, the Bill of Rights.
I'm almost positive that's in the first one. I mean,
it's not even like that could get lost in the shuffle. Well, look,
it was number six. I forgot it was there. That
that was right out of the gates. Maybe, with all

(01:56:58):
due respect, unless you want me to think this is
anything more than just you headline grabbing brother. They're everywhere
just because people are scared enough to be okay with them.
This has been one gigantic civil liberties civil liberties violation
this entire thing. A mayor, a governor, any politician in

(01:57:22):
America does not have the authority, without you breaking any laws,
to point to your business and say clothes. That's a
violation of your liberty. Period. You can argue it's justified
or not. That's unconstitutional. Somebody, let the Attorney general not

(01:57:52):
I have to admit something while I love doing this show.
I love talking to you like this every single day.
It might be my second favorite thing in the world,
beside sleeping. Now I see I don't like normally to
go to sleep because I can't get to sleep. I
go to bed and I'm thinking, oh boy, what about
the truck? What about my kids? What about the wife?

(01:58:13):
And did I do this at work? What about the constitution?
It's being shredded. That was then, this is now now.
I have an EBB Sleep and it's a drug free,
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(01:58:35):
ache in your shoulder. It's the fact you can't stop
thinking about things. You can now get in EBB Sleep.
Go to trieb dot com. That's try EBB dot com,
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Show on air and online at Jesse Kelly Show dot com.

(01:59:15):
News just dropped Governor Cuomo of New York. It's cancelling
school for the rest of the year. This is after
this is right on the heels of that news yesterday
Chris that he's gonna start disinfecting the subways. This dude
is on the ball. Well look, let's not be too hasty.

(01:59:36):
You never know, it's like two more weeks of school left. Wow.
Who this guy has been out in front of this
the whole time. Good for you, Cuomo. It's amazing the
national publicity. The guy has gotten, especially like the ventilators.
But it turned out they had a bunch of them

(01:59:56):
already and he just like forgot, Oh those are here.
I didn't if someone had told me, you know, we
need we need to get the guy in charge of
New York. Oh gosh, all right, Chris, back to these headlines.
I will not be accused of ignoring these youth rides

(02:00:20):
six hundred kilometers Is this another Canadian one? Chris youth
ride six hundred kilometers from telling Tlaying, Ghana to chat
Scarf who comes out I'm not getting the name is
c H H A T T I S G A

(02:00:40):
R H whatever. Youth rides six hundred kilometers from tan
to Conebia for the for marijuana amid national lockdown a
college dropout and his friend rode on a bike for
six hundred kilometers and made the lockdown. Now, hold on,
was it a tandem bike? Either way? That seems like

(02:01:02):
a long way to go. See this, this, This is
why I'm not a drug guy, Chris. It's because I
have an addictive personality. I do everything in streaks. Remember
I told you that RV story how I sold in streaks.
I'd be hot or cold. I do everything in streaks.
And if I became a drug stop Chris stopped row up.

(02:01:23):
If I became a drug guy, that would be me.
You just catch me out there just biking down the highway, Jesse,
where are you going, Missouri? I heard they have weight
up there. That would be me, and I can't be
that guy. I have responsibilities, and so I'm not doing it.
I do everything in streaks, like working out or not

(02:01:45):
working out. I'm the biggest streaker quick Chris in the world.
When it comes to working out, I'll just work out
like a beast and just absolutely get myself cut up
like a demon for two months and then just sit
on my rearand for four and then go back in
two more months of that, and it's miserable. That's the

(02:02:07):
worst way you can possibly be. Of all my many
personality defects, this is definitely one of them. But I
can't help it, all right, CCP linked firm targets US
school kids with Chinese morality and values, showing CCP military
parades in schools. My word, I'm not going to stay

(02:02:33):
on this for too long. Just know this, every single
tyrannical regime in history, really, any government ever, they understood
that children are the future. See what I did, Chris.
But seriously, young minds can be molded. Young minds can
be molded to a lot of what you want them

(02:02:54):
to believe. Why do you think it is we've seen
such a drastic reduction in love of America in the
past twenty years. What do you think that is? Do
you think that a child born twenty twenty five years

(02:03:15):
ago somehow has a different physical and mental makeup than
you had when you were born. No, doesn't have a
different physical and mental makeup than someone had a thousand
years ago or two thousand years ago. What you're seeing
is a product of our culture. Culture, I mean, the

(02:03:39):
only thing that matters. And I'm not going to go
off on this because it's the end of the show
on a Friday. But let's be honest. You can raise
little Billy with whatever values you want, and it is important.
And I'm not saying you don't matter. But five or
six years old, if you're sending little Billy off to
a government school for seven eight hours a day where

(02:04:03):
he will be educated for nine months a year until
he's eighteen, about how bad America sucks and that he's
going to go to college, gonna cost you one hundred grand,
fifty grand, whatever it costs you, and you spend that
kind of money four or five years, and he really
really starts to find find out how bad America sucks. Well,

(02:04:28):
is it really young Billy's fault When it turns out
he's twenty five years old and he thinks this place
kind of sucks. He didn't magically get that idea, that
didn't just fall down out of the sky. He learned that.

(02:04:48):
He learned that. Remember that. Now, if you missed any
part of the show, you can go listen again. It's
on iHeart, it's on Google, it's on Spotify, it's on Apple.
We now have a live link up. I'll tell you
all about it on Monday. Don't worry. You can get

(02:05:10):
Jesse Kelly twenty four seven. Who doesn't want that? Chris,
It's the only radio show I listened to. I just
listened to myself. I haven't even I haven't heard music
in years. Hang on a second, I have one more
idea for the weekend. Omega x L. Remember that name,

(02:05:50):
because I'm about to make you feel a little bit safer.
We have the reports now seventy seventy five percent of
Americans they are scared of the coronavirus. And it's look,
why wouldn't you be. It's killed over fifty thousand Americans.
You see the news, it's Coronavirus's coronavirus. Do what do
I do? Ah? Well, you can't live in a bubble
your whole life. You can't stay home your whole life.

(02:06:12):
You have to get out there and live. We got
bills to pay, We have to live our lives. But
you don't want to do nothing either, right, I don't
want to do nothing. That's why there's Omega XL. It's
a natural anti inflammatory supplement that boosts your own immune system,
that thing you already have that fights disease. Yeah, that's
what Omega XL is for go to Omega XL dot

(02:06:35):
com slash jesse and you actually get a second bottle
free with your first order. Again, Omega XL dot com
slash Jesse. Stop worrying, start doing something about it. Remember

(02:07:13):
my heart, Google, Spotify, Apple, Go ahead and subscribe. You
can subscribe on Apple. Make sure you leave a five
star review, and don't forget the most important part. You
have to talk about how handsome I am in there.
We're gonna get in trouble for that, Chris, you watch,
We're gonna end up in like twenty reviews and people

(02:07:36):
are gonna be talking about how handsome I am, and
then we're getting in trouble. Management. Management's gonna call me like,
could you maybe have people say something different than that?
But why it's my page. Do what I want? Congressional
Budget Office says coronavirus debt to exceed World War two record. Ah, well,

(02:07:56):
that's that's not good. We're in We're in some serious trouble.
But what you're gonna do? People get out there this weekend.
If your state is opening up at all, like Georgia
or Texas or Florida, don't patronize your local restaurant. If
you're not flat broken busted. Gets some fresh air, get

(02:08:17):
some exercise, enjoy your family, enjoy the show. We're gonna
be back again Monday to do it all over again.
All right, that's all. This is a Jesse Kelly show.

(02:08:48):
Your holster is way more important than you think it is.
It's just way more important than you think it is.
What look, and I get that the holsters not the
sexy part of carrying firearms. All right. You want to
talk about your weapon and your ammunition. You want to
talk about your safety training. I want to talk about
how you did at the range. Oh look at my groups.
I was doing these failure drills today, and all that

(02:09:10):
stuff is really important. I mean, really really important. I'm
not discounting that, but I've known so many people who
do all those things. They take all the necessary steps,
and then they carry with a holster they bought from
a big box hunting store that was made a thousand
at a time. Please don't put your life in one
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(02:09:33):
because it's all custom made gear. It's the only thing
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