January 31, 2024 • 13 mins
Every week Intern John and Sos discuss adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio and Sos @shelbysos You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com and you can WATCH here: WatchTheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Appreciate you hanging out intern John inyour morning show. Bear with me for
a second, because part of thebeauty of this show is we live our
highs on the air, but withthe highs come the lows, and we
try to be as honest about bothas possible because we know you're going through
stuff too. So with that beingsaid, I think some folks I think
(00:20):
we're picking up on this, andI think been waiting for the right time.
But after two years of dating already, Mollie and I broke up.
And it sucks, it's it's beenthe worst, but there's no there's no
(00:42):
bad guys. Like she's never doneanything wrong in her entire life. It's
annoying to the fact that she's neverdone anything wrong ever. We were laying
down a couple of weeks ago andwe're just kind of just talking, and
she mentioned how she didn't feel happywith things outside the relationship, like she
wasn't things outside of the relationship thatwere making her happy, which is you
(01:03):
know, I think everybody kind ofhas that and you go on through life.
And I just said to her,do you think you could find that
happiness and still be in a relationship, And she said she didn't know,
and I said that she kind ofsounds like the answer. And it's really
tough because, well, for amillion reasons, but like we she's amazing
(01:32):
and we really loved each other,and I know that we could have probably
pushed through him find but we bothdidn't want her to have regrets down the
line. So that's one of thehardest things ever, is to I don't
know fleck go is the right word, but to at least go our own
own ways. And it's hard to, like, you know, her family
has been like a family for me. I don't have family here. Her
(01:53):
brother Ryan's one of my best friends. Her parents washed the dogs, you
know, had been great and inviteme to family meals and that kind of
thing. And we kind of blendedour lives too, like I shared a
lot of the same friends and becamekind of our own little family. My
parents loved her, my mom especially, which was concerning because my mom is
(02:16):
very suspicious even you know, Mollie. I started dating in January two years
ago. My parents came in townthat February and my mom and I want
to walk and she's like, doyou think this girl's the one? And
my mom never cared to ask thatabout anybody else. And when I told
them about the break up, butwe had a family trip planned for May
(02:38):
that Mollie was going to come onand my mom was like, well,
don't cancel the ticket in case itworks out. And again past relationships,
she'd be like, cancel the ticket. You shouldn't have bought the ticket.
Yeah, it's it's tough to you, Like, I know a lot of
my friends and family. This ishow you're finding out, Uh, because
(03:00):
I didn't tell anybody besides you guysand a couple other people, and like,
I'm sorry, this is I haveto find out. But I just
didn't want to tell everybody. Evenour friend, Uh, Justin called me
last weekend. He goes, hey, we're talking. He is, Hey,
Like Mollie mentioned wanting to go toa drag show, we should go
on this weekend. I had tobe like, ah, dude, it's
just me mee at the drag showhomey, which is uh, you know,
(03:22):
and like being invited to weddings andthat kind of stuff. So it
sucks like we you know, thedogs got along. I mean, Skittles
didn't trust trust her dog so much. But Skittles adored Molly. I mean,
if Mollie was in a room,Skittles would stay on in the doorway.
And I had a lady come tothe house a couple of weeks ago
(03:43):
to do some work, and Skittleswould't letter in Molly's bathroom. So it
sucks, like, and I knowthere's people going through worse stuff, you
know, but uh, it's beenhard to keep in the last a month
or so. But she I gotI was really lucky to be her boyfriend.
(04:04):
She's amazing. Yeah, I wasin a dark spot for a couple
of years and sorry to come outmy own after therapy, but she helped
me find you know, that partedme that was lost for so long.
So oh god, oh this isthe worst. So it's just, you
(04:29):
know, it kind of is whatit is, and people, you know,
it's weird, Like most of thetime. It's when I told my
friends about breakups, y'all are prettyhappy, like yeah, and like it
sucks, like I can like tellthat this people feel bad for me,
and I don't necessarily want that.I was. I was really lucky,
like she she's the absolute amazing Imean, for years on this show and
(04:54):
even on the past with the CaneShow, like I would describe my dream
girl and how she'd be like funnyand like carrying and beautiful, and she'd
like lay up a room and likeit was Molly, and I knew,
like the I knew the moment Iknew I was screwed. She stayed over
and left like a hoodie and Ismelled it and smelled like her, and
I sit out loud. I missher in that voice and then wanted to
(05:15):
punch myself in the stomach. Youknow. Uh, the only person that
would go to the damn pumpkin patchand the Christmas lights, like she definitely
wore the pants in everything. Uhit sucks too, Like I I really
liked like planning trips and stuff,and we had a bunch of and she
didn't know this, like trips planningbecause her birthday's coming up. So I'm
(05:35):
gonna be doing a bunch of solotrips the places I don't really want to
go to, but like Mollie wantedto go to. So that's gonna be
uh be a lot of solo dolatraveling. But like, I don't know,
it's I've I've been through kind ofthe the Ringer of emotions the last
couple of weeks. Like I,you know, I've made noises crying the
(05:55):
last weeks. I didn't know Icould make like legitimately. And I've been
through breakups before, but like I'venever cried so hard that I felt physical
pain everywhere. I'm like, oh, this isn't a breakup, this is
this is heartbreak and uh and thenfelt like ill for weeks after and like
it sucks, dude, Like ifit feels like like my best friend died,
(06:19):
you know, she she was likemy armor, you know. And
again, it'd be easier if Icould get mad at her for something it
it'd be easier. But it's justthere's nothing to get mad at her about
this again, like she's never doneanything wrong because there's no bad guys in
the situation. So it's hard tolike figure out how you're feeling because you're
(06:41):
sad, but you're not mad ather, Like there's nothing to be mad
about in this situation. It justdidn't work. How either of you.
I'm sure we're hoping, Yeah,and you know it's tough, Like I've
been trying to go out and justlike you know, hang with you guys
and do stuff, and it's like, there hasn't been a time that I
have thought this would be more funif Molly was here. It doesn't mean
(07:02):
you guys won't come back together,though, but I keep telling you,
like it just wasn't the right time. And I think it was like very
like respectful and mature of you toactually like give her the space she needs
right now. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. And we both
feel like we all we both weall feel bad for both of you though,
because we both we all love bothof you so much. So yeah,
Sausage said, it's like we're bothon a crappy vacation. Yes,
(07:25):
you have to kind of yeah,sit through. Yeah, even like at
the Ravens game, everybody was likewaiting for the bombers to fly over.
I was videoing the camera crew becauseI know if Molly was there, she'd
be geeking out of the cameras.So I was videoing the camera crew.
That's that's what I was doing.Well, and your best friends like with
her brother, Like you went tothe game with her brother, Yeah yeah,
(07:46):
yeah, So it's just in heragain. Her mom and dad had
been great to me. It justsucks, dude, and like I know
that everybody knows what breakups feel like. It just it sucks and it's scary
because I think, uh, likewe had a really deep connection, like
kind of like two peas in thepod knew each other was thinking, would
laugh all the dumb stuff, andit's just it's scary to not have that
(08:09):
anymore, I guess, And Idon't know, but listen, you know,
we try to be as transparent aspossible, and obviously it's it sucks.
Now. I know there's a lotof people going through similar things,
and like, did I get it? One thing I would say to everybody
listening is like, you know,somebody in your life is going through something
(08:30):
right now and you have no idea. I think if I, you know,
I did a pretty good job ofhiding the fact that I've been dying
inside the last you know, fourweeks. It sucks. It just does.
And so I don't know where thisleads us. I mean, we
had talked a couple of weeks agojust about like future because it is a
dangerous proposition of like do you justwait around and hope that the person finds
(08:54):
what they're looking for and then comesback. I don't know if that works
out though, you can't like downyour life waiting for somebody else, Like
you just have to continue living yourlife and if they come back, great,
and if not, then you bothwill you know, move on to
better things. Yeah, and that'syeah, I've been I've been doing therapy
for a long time. In myfirst I guess three years my first got
(09:18):
in therapy, I was going througha bunch of stuff work related, and
I told my therapist at the time, this is before we started dating.
I was like, I told her, I don't think everybody gets a happy
ending, and I think that I'mone of those people. And I told
her why because of all the previousstuff that happened here, And then I've
that view has changed more recently,I guess in the past couple of years
(09:39):
of like this, I don't believethat. Like I think I'm a decently
good person. I know, likedude, fantastic boyfriend. I'll say it
myself, fantastic you are. Yes, I know. I know it's gonna
work out however way it does,and it's gonna work out how's supposed to.
It just sucks ass yeah at themoment. Yeah. So the last
thing I texted her because we're doinglike no contact thing, which again sucks.
(10:03):
That's hard. Yeah, it's it'sit's the worst. I said,
I said, go find you,don't forget about us. I love you,
I believe in you. So that'swhat's new with me. Yeah,
it's it's it's the worst. Butlisten, if there's anybody going through something
(10:26):
right now, I promise you itdoes get better. And like it's it's
hard now, like it's it sucks. I think Churchill said, if you're
going through hell, keep going.That's kind of the only other option,
yea, or yeah, or juststand still. So I appreciate you guys
kind of looking out for me thelast couple of weeks and making sure that
I'm going out and doing things.It just yeah, it just feels like
(10:50):
again, the best analogy I cansay is like my best friend died,
which sucks. Ironically, there's acouple of things, like you know,
listener, Mitch gave me and Allielike a lamp a couple of years back,
the head hashtag jolly on it andlike it's a it's like this giant
like lamp thing behind glass and Inever like turned it on. I thought
it was funny. Molly turned iton probably six months ago, and the
(11:13):
like it's on a timer so atnight turns on and like that's like been
like a kind of like cool,like I don't know, a sign of
hope. Maybe, I don't know. But the irony of all these things
that I of course had to takedown the Christmas lights do it me?
Man, The damn pumpkin is stillin the rocks for my garage because that
(11:35):
was supposed to get moved so constant. I'm gonna leave a thing like a
real pumpkin. Yes, gross,that's gonna grow. You're gonna have a
whole pumpkin patch. I am wantto go in the first place, Rother,
I'm just telling you the pumpkin patchis coming to you now over again.
That's gonna like decompose and the seedsare gonna get in the ground and
you're gonna have your own little pumpkinpatch. You could charge people for pictures
(11:58):
taking there. You know what.There you go, and pumpkin patches attract
spiders, so you might want toget rid of it. Okay, what
how you know that my dad would'tlet me playing pumpkins when I was the
kids, He said, they bringmore spiders. All right, well that's
true. If I get bit bya spider, I'll blame on Molly.
No right now. Again, SoI appreciate like listeners reaching out to and
(12:24):
like we always felt the love fromlike everybody, like that was a really
cool thing. And I think thatshe would she kind of felt the pressure
and assumed it was pressure, likewhat people always ask about engagement in this
stuff. And I just told herlike not, people were really happy for
us, and I think for soanyway, that's it sucks. We're wishing
(12:46):
you and her at the best.Yes, but mainly me, do you
know what I mean? Just that, Yes, but also her as well.
Yeah, I was. I wasjust texting one of her friends today,
just checking in about stuff, andI was like, if there's one
person in the world deserves to behappy, it's Molly, Like she like
that girl. Yeah, She's everything. So oh God, feelings
Appreciate you hanging out intern John inyour morning show. Bear with me for
a second, because part of thebeauty of this show is we live our
highs on the air, but withthe highs come the lows, and we
try to be as honest about bothas possible because we know you're going through
stuff too. So with that beingsaid, I think some folks I think
(00:20):
we're picking up on this, andI think been waiting for the right time.
But after two years of dating already, Mollie and I broke up.
And it sucks, it's it's beenthe worst, but there's no there's no
(00:42):
bad guys. Like she's never doneanything wrong in her entire life. It's
annoying to the fact that she's neverdone anything wrong ever. We were laying
down a couple of weeks ago andwe're just kind of just talking, and
she mentioned how she didn't feel happywith things outside the relationship, like she
wasn't things outside of the relationship thatwere making her happy, which is you
(01:03):
know, I think everybody kind ofhas that and you go on through life.
And I just said to her,do you think you could find that
happiness and still be in a relationship, And she said she didn't know,
and I said that she kind ofsounds like the answer. And it's really
tough because, well, for amillion reasons, but like we she's amazing
(01:32):
and we really loved each other,and I know that we could have probably
pushed through him find but we bothdidn't want her to have regrets down the
line. So that's one of thehardest things ever, is to I don't
know fleck go is the right word, but to at least go our own
own ways. And it's hard to, like, you know, her family
has been like a family for me. I don't have family here. Her
(01:53):
brother Ryan's one of my best friends. Her parents washed the dogs, you
know, had been great and inviteme to family meals and that kind of
thing. And we kind of blendedour lives too, like I shared a
lot of the same friends and becamekind of our own little family. My
parents loved her, my mom especially, which was concerning because my mom is
(02:16):
very suspicious even you know, Mollie. I started dating in January two years
ago. My parents came in townthat February and my mom and I want
to walk and she's like, doyou think this girl's the one? And
my mom never cared to ask thatabout anybody else. And when I told
them about the break up, butwe had a family trip planned for May
(02:38):
that Mollie was going to come onand my mom was like, well,
don't cancel the ticket in case itworks out. And again past relationships,
she'd be like, cancel the ticket. You shouldn't have bought the ticket.
Yeah, it's it's tough to you, Like, I know a lot of
my friends and family. This ishow you're finding out, Uh, because
(03:00):
I didn't tell anybody besides you guysand a couple other people, and like,
I'm sorry, this is I haveto find out. But I just
didn't want to tell everybody. Evenour friend, Uh, Justin called me
last weekend. He goes, hey, we're talking. He is, Hey,
Like Mollie mentioned wanting to go toa drag show, we should go
on this weekend. I had tobe like, ah, dude, it's
just me mee at the drag showhomey, which is uh, you know,
(03:22):
and like being invited to weddings andthat kind of stuff. So it
sucks like we you know, thedogs got along. I mean, Skittles
didn't trust trust her dog so much. But Skittles adored Molly. I mean,
if Mollie was in a room,Skittles would stay on in the doorway.
And I had a lady come tothe house a couple of weeks ago
(03:43):
to do some work, and Skittleswould't letter in Molly's bathroom. So it
sucks, like, and I knowthere's people going through worse stuff, you
know, but uh, it's beenhard to keep in the last a month
or so. But she I gotI was really lucky to be her boyfriend.
(04:04):
She's amazing. Yeah, I wasin a dark spot for a couple
of years and sorry to come outmy own after therapy, but she helped
me find you know, that partedme that was lost for so long.
So oh god, oh this isthe worst. So it's just, you
(04:29):
know, it kind of is whatit is, and people, you know,
it's weird, Like most of thetime. It's when I told my
friends about breakups, y'all are prettyhappy, like yeah, and like it
sucks, like I can like tellthat this people feel bad for me,
and I don't necessarily want that.I was. I was really lucky,
like she she's the absolute amazing Imean, for years on this show and
(04:54):
even on the past with the CaneShow, like I would describe my dream
girl and how she'd be like funnyand like carrying and beautiful, and she'd
like lay up a room and likeit was Molly, and I knew,
like the I knew the moment Iknew I was screwed. She stayed over
and left like a hoodie and Ismelled it and smelled like her, and
I sit out loud. I missher in that voice and then wanted to
(05:15):
punch myself in the stomach. Youknow. Uh, the only person that
would go to the damn pumpkin patchand the Christmas lights, like she definitely
wore the pants in everything. Uhit sucks too, Like I I really
liked like planning trips and stuff,and we had a bunch of and she
didn't know this, like trips planningbecause her birthday's coming up. So I'm
(05:35):
gonna be doing a bunch of solotrips the places I don't really want to
go to, but like Mollie wantedto go to. So that's gonna be
uh be a lot of solo dolatraveling. But like, I don't know,
it's I've I've been through kind ofthe the Ringer of emotions the last
couple of weeks. Like I,you know, I've made noises crying the
(05:55):
last weeks. I didn't know Icould make like legitimately. And I've been
through breakups before, but like I'venever cried so hard that I felt physical
pain everywhere. I'm like, oh, this isn't a breakup, this is
this is heartbreak and uh and thenfelt like ill for weeks after and like
it sucks, dude, Like ifit feels like like my best friend died,
(06:19):
you know, she she was likemy armor, you know. And
again, it'd be easier if Icould get mad at her for something it
it'd be easier. But it's justthere's nothing to get mad at her about
this again, like she's never doneanything wrong because there's no bad guys in
the situation. So it's hard tolike figure out how you're feeling because you're
(06:41):
sad, but you're not mad ather, Like there's nothing to be mad
about in this situation. It justdidn't work. How either of you.
I'm sure we're hoping, Yeah,and you know it's tough, Like I've
been trying to go out and justlike you know, hang with you guys
and do stuff, and it's like, there hasn't been a time that I
have thought this would be more funif Molly was here. It doesn't mean
(07:02):
you guys won't come back together,though, but I keep telling you,
like it just wasn't the right time. And I think it was like very
like respectful and mature of you toactually like give her the space she needs
right now. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. And we both
feel like we all we both weall feel bad for both of you though,
because we both we all love bothof you so much. So yeah,
Sausage said, it's like we're bothon a crappy vacation. Yes,
(07:25):
you have to kind of yeah,sit through. Yeah, even like at
the Ravens game, everybody was likewaiting for the bombers to fly over.
I was videoing the camera crew becauseI know if Molly was there, she'd
be geeking out of the cameras.So I was videoing the camera crew.
That's that's what I was doing.Well, and your best friends like with
her brother, Like you went tothe game with her brother, Yeah yeah,
(07:46):
yeah, So it's just in heragain. Her mom and dad had
been great to me. It justsucks, dude, and like I know
that everybody knows what breakups feel like. It just it sucks and it's scary
because I think, uh, likewe had a really deep connection, like
kind of like two peas in thepod knew each other was thinking, would
laugh all the dumb stuff, andit's just it's scary to not have that
(08:09):
anymore, I guess, And Idon't know, but listen, you know,
we try to be as transparent aspossible, and obviously it's it sucks.
Now. I know there's a lotof people going through similar things,
and like, did I get it? One thing I would say to everybody
listening is like, you know,somebody in your life is going through something
(08:30):
right now and you have no idea. I think if I, you know,
I did a pretty good job ofhiding the fact that I've been dying
inside the last you know, fourweeks. It sucks. It just does.
And so I don't know where thisleads us. I mean, we
had talked a couple of weeks agojust about like future because it is a
dangerous proposition of like do you justwait around and hope that the person finds
(08:54):
what they're looking for and then comesback. I don't know if that works
out though, you can't like downyour life waiting for somebody else, Like
you just have to continue living yourlife and if they come back, great,
and if not, then you bothwill you know, move on to
better things. Yeah, and that'syeah, I've been I've been doing therapy
for a long time. In myfirst I guess three years my first got
(09:18):
in therapy, I was going througha bunch of stuff work related, and
I told my therapist at the time, this is before we started dating.
I was like, I told her, I don't think everybody gets a happy
ending, and I think that I'mone of those people. And I told
her why because of all the previousstuff that happened here, And then I've
that view has changed more recently,I guess in the past couple of years
(09:39):
of like this, I don't believethat. Like I think I'm a decently
good person. I know, likedude, fantastic boyfriend. I'll say it
myself, fantastic you are. Yes, I know. I know it's gonna
work out however way it does,and it's gonna work out how's supposed to.
It just sucks ass yeah at themoment. Yeah. So the last
thing I texted her because we're doinglike no contact thing, which again sucks.
(10:03):
That's hard. Yeah, it's it'sit's the worst. I said,
I said, go find you,don't forget about us. I love you,
I believe in you. So that'swhat's new with me. Yeah,
it's it's it's the worst. Butlisten, if there's anybody going through something
(10:26):
right now, I promise you itdoes get better. And like it's it's
hard now, like it's it sucks. I think Churchill said, if you're
going through hell, keep going.That's kind of the only other option,
yea, or yeah, or juststand still. So I appreciate you guys
kind of looking out for me thelast couple of weeks and making sure that
I'm going out and doing things.It just yeah, it just feels like
(10:50):
again, the best analogy I cansay is like my best friend died,
which sucks. Ironically, there's acouple of things, like you know,
listener, Mitch gave me and Allielike a lamp a couple of years back,
the head hashtag jolly on it andlike it's a it's like this giant
like lamp thing behind glass and Inever like turned it on. I thought
it was funny. Molly turned iton probably six months ago, and the
(11:13):
like it's on a timer so atnight turns on and like that's like been
like a kind of like cool,like I don't know, a sign of
hope. Maybe, I don't know. But the irony of all these things
that I of course had to takedown the Christmas lights do it me?
Man, The damn pumpkin is stillin the rocks for my garage because that
(11:35):
was supposed to get moved so constant. I'm gonna leave a thing like a
real pumpkin. Yes, gross,that's gonna grow. You're gonna have a
whole pumpkin patch. I am wantto go in the first place, Rother,
I'm just telling you the pumpkin patchis coming to you now over again.
That's gonna like decompose and the seedsare gonna get in the ground and
you're gonna have your own little pumpkinpatch. You could charge people for pictures
(11:58):
taking there. You know what.There you go, and pumpkin patches attract
spiders, so you might want toget rid of it. Okay, what
how you know that my dad would'tlet me playing pumpkins when I was the
kids, He said, they bringmore spiders. All right, well that's
true. If I get bit bya spider, I'll blame on Molly.
No right now. Again, SoI appreciate like listeners reaching out to and
(12:24):
like we always felt the love fromlike everybody, like that was a really
cool thing. And I think thatshe would she kind of felt the pressure
and assumed it was pressure, likewhat people always ask about engagement in this
stuff. And I just told herlike not, people were really happy for
us, and I think for soanyway, that's it sucks. We're wishing
(12:46):
you and her at the best.Yes, but mainly me, do you
know what I mean? Just that, Yes, but also her as well.
Yeah, I was. I wasjust texting one of her friends today,
just checking in about stuff, andI was like, if there's one
person in the world deserves to behappy, it's Molly, Like she like
that girl. Yeah, She's everything. So oh God, feelings
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