Eff Ball

We talk about nighttime irks, prep for the big football game, and recount what happened with Bailey's car.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Peen in the middle of the night ruins your sleep.
It is the Minnesota Goodbye. And Jenny and I both
have an issue where we get up to pee in
the middle of the night. I think most people do.
Sometimes it's a guy thing, but it sounds like with
you it doesn't matter. Oh yeah, no, why are you
getting Do you drink a lot of water before you

(00:21):
go to bed?

Speaker 2 (00:22):
I mean I only drink pretty much water and coffee
throughout my day, so I would say it just like
depends a lot, because like, if I do work out
later in the day, then yes, I'm consuming a ton
of water, probably closer to bedtime.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
But no, it just varies.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
And I mean it started probably when I was like,
I don't know twenty seven twenty eight, that I would
get up every single night and have to pee, would
not be able to fall asleep until I got up
and went to the bathroom. And lately I've been like
somehow controlling it. And I told Dave that I woke
up this morning and felt like a different person because
I did not get up in the middle of the night.
And I know we joke about me getting up and

(00:55):
snacking in the middle of the night. I really do
do that.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
That's so funny to me.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
But it's only.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Because it's like almost like I've been conditioned that if
I go and I have to pee, I also I'm
gonna have a snack, and I also can't fall asleep
until I have a little snack.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
That just floors me, because when I get up to
pee in the middle of the night, I try my
best not to wake all the way up. Like I
turn on the hall light instead of the bathroom light,
so I'm not there in a blazing bright light. And
then I try to think about what my dreams were,
because I've noticed that if I can think about what
my dreams had been, it gets my mind in a

(01:28):
more of a relaxed state instead of thinking about work
or my car or insurance or whatever. So I try
to keep my thoughts really stupid. Yeah, and like I'm
trying to remember what I dreamt about last night. Oh,
I have so many dreams all the time that something's
going wrong on the radio station. And it was funny

(01:50):
because I was last night. I had you guys laughing
in my dream because I was doing an impression of
a drunk okay, and you guys were laughing, and we
were like, that should be a new character on a show.
On the show is a drunk and you were laughing
and then all of a sudden it went nowhere and
then it's like, okay, but that was just kind of
like a stupid dream. So if I think about a
dream that I can get right back into it. But

(02:12):
I if I have like a glass of wine before bed,
I got to get up and pee. If I don't,
then I don't have to get up in pea. So
for like the last couple of weeks, I haven't had
any wine before bed, and I don't have to get
up in pea.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, so there's probably a solution for you. Then I'm
not drinking wine at night, but I definitely probably would
get up if I had a drink and have to
pee in the middle of the night. But it's mostly
actually because I'm dehydrated and I have to go get
something to drink.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Do you keep a glass of water? I keep a
yetty with a straw so I don't have to fumble
for it next to my bed.

Speaker 4 (02:45):
To keep a big thing of water.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
I sure do.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
I have the millennial hydroflasks. I'm not a Stanley girl,
and so I always fill that up before I go
to bed. But if I've had a glass of wine
or a few drinks and I wake up to hydrate
it and need something to drink, water doesn't do it
for me. Something better, like a poppy or like really yeah,
like I need something.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
A little bit more flavored a lot or else.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
I start having dreams about drinking some kind of liquid,
and I wake up from those dreams like needing to
go get Yes.

Speaker 4 (03:15):
I'll drink.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
I'll dream that I'm really thirsty, and then I'm drinking
water and I can't get enough. Yep, anything interesting about
your sleep? Let us know, because I'm gonna tell you
something that is something we all have in common. I
don't sleep, you know, I get I got bad shoulders
for some reason, so I can't sleep, sleep on my
side very well for very long. Somebody said, do you

(03:36):
take like what's a sleep aid like?

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Or then that's that's prescribed melatonin.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Melatonin, this couple of other ones. They don't do any
good for me. I don't really notice that they do.
So let us know. Any sleep interesting story. I was
thought about taking what's the one ambient, but I've known
too many people who take ambien and then go do
something that they shouldn't do, like a friend of mine,
as she took Ambien, woke her son up in the

(04:05):
middle of the night, made him French toast.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
My roommate in college would take ambient and one time
I don't think I had even gotten to sleep yet.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
She would go to sleep really early.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
And one time I woke up or I went out
just in the kitchen and she was out there trying
to bake cookies.

Speaker 4 (04:21):
And I was like, because she was on ambient.

Speaker 5 (04:23):
I know.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
And I was like, ah, and you're not supposed to
like rattle someone.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
Awake, I think, because there's still a sleep But yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Think I tried to like shuffle her to bed because
I think she had only gotten to like the dough part.
She wasn't messing with the oven or okay, But I
was like, Chrissa, you should go to sleep, but like,
I'll finish this for you.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
I got this go to bed. I had a neighbor
next door, average woman, she's probably forty five at the time.
She was sleepwalking. I don't know if she was on Ambien,
fell down the stairs and broke her leg sleepwalking. We
don't have any sleepwalking in my family, another friend of mine,
she would take ambient and then she I don't remember

(05:02):
all the details because she's a very responsible, professional woman,
but she took ambient and then she was drinking like
wine with ambient. Decided to go down to the convenience
store like a half a mile away and get a pizza.
Came back home, hit a light pole and got a dui.
And this is not a dui kind of a person

(05:24):
at all, but the ambient made her drink and decide,
I'm going to go get a pizza. So she had
to pay all the fines and had to go to
the dui classes and all that stuff. So let's talk
super Bowl. It is Super Bowl weekend if you are
listening to this the weekend of the Super Bowl. Here's
some things to know. Kickoff is going to be five
thirty Minnesota time on Sunday, YEP. It is at Caesar's

(05:46):
Super Dome in New Orleans. Fox is going to do
the broadcasting. Two B will also stream the game live
in for four K for free on select devices. The
announcers are Kevin Burkhardt, Tom Brady, Aaron Andrews, and Tom Rinaldi.
Pregame coverage starts at one a m.

Speaker 4 (06:10):
One a m.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Eastern time. That's midnight here on Fox. It says one am,
and I wonder if that they mean one pm.

Speaker 4 (06:18):
I think they must weird.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
That seems weird because it does say in the next sentence,
given us five and a half hours of pregame coverage. Okay,
but then the NFL network starts their pregame stuff at
five am tomorrow. That's on the NFL network. John Batiste
is going to do the pregame national anthem. LA d
C will sing lift every voice and sing do you

(06:41):
know who ladis is?

Speaker 3 (06:43):
I don't think I do. Yep, maybe i'd know.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
If I saw halftime show. Kendrick Lamar will headline the
halftime show. There is speculation that Taylor Swift will make
a guest appearance. I don't think that she will want
to do that because I think that Taylor knows people
have enough yeah, and I think that if she shows up,
I honestly think she might get booed if she showed
up at the halftime show.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
You got to think that like Taylor probably does enjoy
doing certain things that aren't always her, like being on
stage aka watching her boyfriend perfore or not perform, but
play in the super bore.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
Super Bowl because super boor yeah, super Bowl, that might
be what it is this year.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
But so I feel like Taylor might not even care
to do something like that, even though it gives her
a lot of attention. But I feel like she's probably like,
can I get a day off? Can I just watch
my boyfriend play in this big game called the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
I think that she is trying to stay a little
bit low key, and so I don't think that's going
to happen. It is all about the Chiefs trying to
do a third straight Super Bowl for the first time
in NFL history, and about the Eagles trying to stop
the Chiefs from making this history. And yeah, says Taylor
will be there and will very likely be the center

(07:56):
of attention, but they say she is desperate not to
be the center of attention at the super Bowl. Let
me give you a couple of more. Here's a Super
Bowl drinking game. So you get a glass or something
to drink or three during the game. If you want
to up the anna, you can turn it into a
drinking game. And here we go. If you predict the

(08:18):
opening coin toss, pick either heads or tails. And the
opening coin toss. If you lose, you take a shot.
An interception made by either team, take a shot. Camera
cuts to Taylor Swift. Take a shot. Any celebrity in
the crowd gets highlighted in the on camera, Like if
they spot Kevin Costner in the crowd, take a shot. Yeah,

(08:38):
Kendrick Lamar brings out a surprise guest besides Sizza. Take
a shot. If the team you're rooting against gets a penalty,
well that'd be a lot of shots because some teams
they get a lot of penalties. You'll like you'll get
like three penalties, like in a row. Sometimes field goal
is missed, Jason Kelsey is spotted. If there's a tie
at the end of any quarter, your team scores a touchdown,

(09:02):
there's a baby or animal in a commercial, if a
quarterback gets sacked, if a coach yells at a referee,
if a point is scored, including safeties, I mean, that's
a lot of drinking. And if Tom Brady correctly predicts
a play during the broadcast, take it trip. What are
you doing for the Super Bowl?

Speaker 2 (09:18):
We're gonna go to Andrew's best friend's house. There they
got a bunch of ribs, that they're gonna I don't
know what they're doing to it, hopefully smoking it or
something nice. But they got a bunch of ribs, so
we're gonna go over there. And then I got to
figure out what I'm bringing home because I got to
bring something we did. We did something at their house
once before where we literally just got tons of crab legs,
put a bunch of aluminum foil down on a big

(09:39):
coffee table and just like, oh yeah, I put the
crab legs down and went to tow a hunt home while
the game was on, like in front of us.

Speaker 4 (09:46):
Oh that sounds great, right.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
It's very low key.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
It's nothing like super fancy or anything usually when we
get together with them, but they're very good at cooking,
so I'm excited to go hang out with them.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
Well, here are the top five food must haves at
your part, and no surprise is in here really at all.
Number one is wings because that's just like it's just
the perfect Super Bowl party snack barbecue. So your ribs
or pulled pork in a crock pot for sandwiches. Seven
layer dip is number three. Pizza is number four. I
think you can get pizza you don't really need anything else,

(10:19):
and I will say, I.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Say something, Well, you're not a sweet person. I feel
like you've got to have something sweet though, with pizza.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
Uh and chicken tenders and nuggets. Is the number five
super Bowl must have food. And they say that one
hundred and thirteen million people plan to throw or attend
a Super Bowl party. Seventeen point six million of us
planned to watch the game at a restaurant or a bar.

(10:47):
But there are people who have no interest in the
game or the parties. If you're a non Super Bowl person,
I wonder what do you do instead of watching the game?

Speaker 3 (10:59):
I mean, go to the gym where nobody's there.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Yeah, yeah, you could for sure, or go shopping. The
malls are going to be closed by that time and
run down to Target. I guess open it until probably
eight o'clock on a Sunday night. But there are definitely people.
And now I have so annoyed during the playoffs because
my team's all lost. The Bills lost, the Vikings lost,
the Lions lost, so none of my team's made it

(11:22):
to the super Bowl. And I'm like, I'm not watching
the fucking super Bowl. I'm not gonna watch it. But
then I thought, well, what else am I going to
do on a Sunday night? You just feel like so
depressed if you're like leaving yourself out of such a big,
momentous event.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
So we're watching these two dogs right now and the owners.
They're in Florida. They get back on Sunday and they
are hosting a Super Bowl party that day. They host
one every year. They're like, We've got like nineteen people coming.
They're like, but honestly, we don't even want to do it.
We're so annoyed with the Super Bowl this.

Speaker 4 (11:53):
Year because of the teams that are yeah, yeah, They're like.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
We just We're like, can we just like watch something else,
like make chili and like be done with it. I
just thought that was funny, like people who host super
Bowls every year and then our hype for that, but
then they don't even want to do it.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Bailey, Okay, Bailey just walked in. We have not mentioned
Bailey yet today, but maybe you heard on the show
this morning Bailey's car got broken into and so she
is about right now, I'll be a parent transparent. It
is six point forty in the morning and we're recording
this during the War of the Roses replay and Bailey

(12:29):
is now forty minutes past when you normally get here,
So tell me the story. We've got about two or
three minutes or so.

Speaker 5 (12:37):
Okay, great. Well, I walked out to my car today
and opened my driver's window and there was a giant
piece of concrete on my driver's side seat with a
bunch of glass everywhere concrete.

Speaker 4 (12:49):
So they top piece of a curb or.

Speaker 5 (12:50):
Sidewalk, giant piece of concrete, and they threw it through
my passenger window, shattered my window. My window's completely gone.
And they stole my work bag that really just had
like show prep in it, and my key cards to
the building, so I have to deactivate those. A pencil
case with scissors and tape in it, and a manicure

(13:14):
kit that literally had like a nail file and nail clippers.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
So no jewelry, watches, bag of money, driver's license, anything,
just inconvenience.

Speaker 5 (13:23):
Shit, I don't keep any of that stuff in my car. Yeah,
I mean, there are things with my name in my car. So, like,
I don't know the fact that they took my work bag,
I'm like, oh, I'm I don't know. I'm jumping to conclusions. Obviously,
So I'm like, oh, they know it's my car, and
they want to get into.

Speaker 4 (13:37):
This building and the kill care. Yeah, no, they don't care.

Speaker 5 (13:41):
But they rustled through my glove compartment. They took out
all my napkins, all of my like car manual stuff,
and then they took my little choir book with all
my sheet music and threw it on the ground.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
I just think, what a garbage human it is that
breaks into people's cars. And we were saying earlier on
the air, is like thieves have been around since men man,
humankind has been around. You know, there are thieves in
the Bible, there are thieves throughout history, and you know,
thievery has been punished in different ways all throughout history.
That used to cut your hands off, Yeah, different parts

(14:12):
of the world, lashing. If you were like in the
military back in the eighteen hundreds and you were a thief,
you got lashed. So thieves have always been a problem,
But I just hate it. It's like, what brings you
to think I'm going to steal something from somebody who
you know, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (14:33):
Just it's like it's not your shit.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, here's somebody who is doing their thing, being responsible
and here is some fuckball.

Speaker 4 (14:40):
That's a new word.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Write that down, Jenny, fuckball and call this podcast fuckball?
Who thinks that it's okay to steal? I just I
guess I grew up in such a like an ethical
environment where nobody in my family stole. We just didn't,
you know, we just didn't. We didn't cheat or steal
or cheat on our taxes or you know, I did

(15:03):
steal I think a couple of dollars out of the
collection plate at Black Forest Community Church. And it was
worth it because you know, you can get a couple
of bags in M and M's.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
Yeah, yeah, prefer for that.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
Back in the day, my nephew stole out of the
collection plate. But he was young enough to know he
didn't know what he was doing.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
You saw, like agenda, I was ten ish or twelve
ish or something like that. He was three, And yeah,
three is okay. But there was a little gas station
grocery store right across the street from the church, and
so me and my buddy Mark Connell and a couple
of other dope friends, Rick Williams. I know that I'll

(15:41):
never forget him. We would eat steal a dollar and
back then a dollar would buy you a couple of
candy bars at the gas station across the street. But
the minister knew we were doing it, and so he
then after the collection, he would take the collection plates
himself and put them up on the altar. And I
remember one time he gave us a dirty look, like
you you little fuckballs.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, you guys were that's what he was thinking. And
Is said too, he probably was.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
And I was a little fuckball when I was a kid.
I was such a little shit. I get embarrassed sometimes
when I think about what a hard time I gave
my mom and dad, and but I think that it
led to like this sense of event, having an adventurous
mind that served me later. So I don't do shady
things like stealing money anymore. But my mind comes up
with all kinds of fucking weird shit that actually works

(16:30):
well on.

Speaker 4 (16:30):
The radio, you know.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah, So what's the next step here? So daddy came.

Speaker 4 (16:34):
Picked you up.

Speaker 5 (16:35):
My dad came got me and brought me here. I
have to file a police report because I called and
they were like, you can do it online, So I
have to do that. I took pictures and today I
need to get my window replaced.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
Like period.

Speaker 5 (16:47):
Oh yeah, I have so I have places to be,
Like I wish they would have broken into it tomorrow
night because I have places to be today, I have
places to be tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (16:55):
I have nowhere to be on Sunday and it's gonna snow.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
So yeah, yeah, it's just the season it's happened in
is like the worst season.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
Yeah, totally true.

Speaker 5 (17:06):
Yeah, and then Mon's like you have to clean out
your car and like, yeah, I understand, I have a
lot of stuff in my car and that's like a
running joke, but like it's worthless stuff like pillow pets.
Like I'm surprised I had a sword in my car
and they did not touch a sword. They didn't take
my sword.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
I think that people do target people where they can
see like a lot of stuff in their car, because
like Andrew has a lot of junk in his car. Yeah,
but I was telling Davi this that like when he
used to live in Saint Paul, he just left his
car unlocked because people broke into cars all the time. Yeah,
and he was like, so he knew when people went
into his car because like shit would have been like
ruffled around, but like he left it unlocked, so nobody

(17:42):
ever actually like broke anything last to get into it.

Speaker 5 (17:45):
Yeah, but I learned a voluable last time.

Speaker 4 (17:48):
I guess, well, I'm glad you're okay.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
I wasn't worried about your physical health, because when you
break your get your car broken into, it's usually not
a matter of all. They broke your jaw at the
same time. Yeah, but I was worried about what they
would steal. And of the course it's upsetting. I mean,
that's the main thing.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
It's upsetting.

Speaker 5 (18:03):
I guess I didn't check my trunk, but now I
have that in my brain.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
That is the Minnesota Goodbye, and thank you for listening.
Happy super Bowl weekend, and if you got an email,
send it to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.