August 9, 2024 • 30 mins
Could you date someone who had porn in their past? How do you cope with life changes? Ever see anything weird on a ring camera? We answer these questions and more on today's MN Goodbye!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, let's get started on the Minnesota Goodbye. I'm
going to start off with an email from Tristan, and
Tristan says, what is y'all's favorite summer activity around the area. Dave,
great job on Pike's Peak and Tristan, my favorite summer
activity around the area. God, that's a really good question I.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Answer for you.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Please, I would say, probably you going to walk in
like Lake Minwasta or something. Isn't there a spot you
like going there?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
You know? That is is my favorite spot to hike,
because it's really it's not remote at all, but when
you're on the back parts of Lake Minwashta, it feels
like you're in the middle of nowhere. It really is
like whoa first time was out there? I thought I
got lost? Yeah, and I wasn't lost at all. I
just kept following the trail in pretty soon, Oh there's
my car, but I felt like it was lost. I
would also say motorcycling. Oh yeah, I just love riding
(00:46):
the motorcycle. You know, we don't do it as often
as we should because we've been so busy this summer.
Like today, you know, I got a couple of appointments today.
I gotta get this thing chopped off. Well, they canceled
that right.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I think that you don't have that any I had
a dermatology.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Appointment again, a mole or something that grew on the
side of my face, so I need to get that
looked at. But I'm also going to Livia later today
for the B twelve LIGHTO injection for energy and weight loss,
and I think that's really cool. And then tomorrow I
leave for San Diego for a morning show conference and
I'm going to present an award to another DJ. I
won the award last year. I presented to him this year.
(01:25):
I get there tomorrow night, present the award at noon Friday,
leave at three on Friday. I don't get home until
eleven pm on Friday.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
You're flighting at three pm. You're making me nervous with
the tightness of you having to present and then.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Be on a flight.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
It is a little bit. Yeah. That's a good point, Jenny. Yeah,
I work.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
With radio DJs. Do you think they're going to be
on time?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
No, good point.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
They'll be on time for that. They do keep a
pretty strict schedule for that stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, because you've been to this before. And then ABA's
fifth birthday. Fourth birthday party is on Saturday, and then
next week we're going to be at Mall of America
and then after that we're going to be at a
happy hour next price. So we're pretty busy.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
We're busy people.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, yeah, what.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
About you summer activity, Jenny.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Mine would be probably rollerblading and biking and sometimes running,
but I can't run in like super hot heat.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
So yeah, you and pickleball right now?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Oh yeah, and pickleball, but I just got into that,
so I don't know if I could put that on
their as favorite.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I think that's going to be year round for me
now too.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
So yeah, mine's just walking. I walk every day if
I can.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
If the weather is nice, I could go on five
six seven mile walks, and usually it's just around like
the lakes and the cities, or I go up and
down just streets of like Linden Hills and just look
at people's houses.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
And that's impressive. I mean that's a long walk, it is.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
But when it's like seventy five degrees like yesterday, I've
so it's been the Fringe festival, so I'm not getting
a lot of sleep, which is my own choice.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
It's fine.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
It's once a year, but I've been trying to like
prioritize going home and taking like a long nap to
like get.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Ahead of sleep.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
And yesterday it was just so beautiful out that I
was just like, Wow, I guess I'm going to go
on a walk instead and just sleep for twenty minutes.
And yeah, but it's so nice out I can't not. Yeah,
I have to, because why would I not go on
a walk now when in four months I won't be
going out for four months.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, yeah, so we're taking it like September, October, November,
so yeah, sure enough, Yep, you're right, all right, next
one does don't say my name, but I only used
a first name, so I hopefully it'll be okay. I
was listening to the podcast and heard you guys talk
about what a porn star does when they are forty. Well,
my daughter's dad took off to another state in the
(03:35):
two thousands and came back a handful of years later
and had to admit that he had been doing porn.
I will go back and bleep out the name of
this person because there is a little bit more identification
than I would want to pass along there. He had
been recognized on the Internet and the news was starting
to come out. Not that it matters, but it was
(03:57):
gay porn and that added an extra more secretive element. Well,
now he's forty two and he will not discuss it.
I don't know him like that anymore, but it does
feel like he's struggling with big regrets that affect his
life even now. I'm sure it's not like that for everybody,
but he can't be the only one. I love you,
(04:17):
thank you, we love you back. Because this came up
on the show. Was it on the show or on
the podcast?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
It was on the actual show that we talked about it,
because we talked about do you regret it when you're
forty or something, and we just kind of said what
we thought people might think. And I think that some
people probably do. But I think some people might also
have the mindset of, like, no, I'm proud of like
doing that when I was young and hot and whatever.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I think that my logic would tell me that you
will regret it because you are porn as forever. So
if you make a porn now and you're young and
beautiful and you're twenty two and you got a smoking
body and you've got nothing to be ashamed of at all,
and it's not necessarily shameful, but it's something that it's
(05:01):
kind of like a tattoo that you kind of regret,
you know what I mean. If you get a tattoo of, like,
I don't know, angels wings on your back, it's a
bad example. But let's go with it. You might think
this is really cool. I really like this. I'm twenty six,
I look amazing with my you know, my big angel
wing tattoo. But then you get a little bit older
and now you're forty five, and you go, hm, I
(05:21):
kind of wish I hadn't done that one.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Maybe yeah, no, I mean for sure would you guys? Ever, Okay,
so say you're single and you find someone you really
like them. What if they had a previous like OnlyFans
with their ex and they were doing like sexual things
in it. Would you be able to get over that?
Because I don't think I could question.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Oh I think I could, because that's their past, Like
I mean, they did what they wanted to do at
the time, and it's like, okay, well, I'm not gonna
poo poo on you for just.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
And I agree because I can get over like Andrew
obviously has a pass. I have a pass, like I
can get over things like that, but I feel like
to put that on the internet, I don't know. I
would probably be a tempted to see if she's better
than me, and then it would like be scarred in
my head and I'd probably think about that in moments
I shouldn't be thinking about that, like, wait, she did
this here.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Don't go looking for it.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
But that's what I'm saying is I would be tempted
to I would be so tempted.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, I think I would too if I were just
like you said, if I were single and I met
somebody who's like, yeah, you know, back in the early nineties,
I did porn, and I'd be like, well, I gotta
go watch. And if she said no, don't watch, I'd
be like, I'm sorry, I think I have to. But
I think that might be kind of a deal breaker
(06:34):
because to me, I really do because I'm human, and
I would like to say, bow, it's in the past,
it doesn't bother me. It'd be kind of like if
somebody got a dui. I'm trying to think as I
say this, if they got maybe a series of duys
and now they're like, ah, you know what, I haven't
drank in a long time. I'd still be like, I
(06:56):
don't know.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
There's a difference between porn and a dui. A porn
is forever a dui. If you stop drinking and you
have remorse and if you change your life, then I
think it's a different thing.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
But I don't think you need remorse about doing porn,
because like, what if they did porn because one they
needed the money and they like, you know what, I've
got a hot bot, I'm proud of it. I need money,
and this is a good way to do it. I
feel like it's more empowering than anything, unless they're doing
like creepy, scary porn. Then I mean, I think, like, go,
if someone said if I was dating someone and they
(07:29):
were like, by the way I did porn, I'd be like, dope,
can I see? And then I'd be like, Wow, this
is great, look at you.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
And it could be a little sexism on my part
because I think that guys don't want to feel like
they were outperformed by another guy. Yeah, So if I'm
watching porn and this guy's got a big old wang
and he's like you know, and he's like just banging
away and she's like screaming and going, oh my god.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Yeah she's acting.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Say that's super fake, stupid sex, and she's still.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Choosing to be with you, even though she's had this
giant wang before.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Yeah, I think it's cool, But I guess.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I just also want to clarify that my example wasn't
about just porn in general. Mine was about you being
in a relationship prior with someone that you did like
and only fans with. Like, I think there's a little
bit of a difference between you going and banging and
doing random like stuff with people you don't have a
relationship with versus you had like an only fan that
was successful or something with your previous partner.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, but yeah, real, Will you remind me because I'll
forget to go back and put a bleep through her name,
Because I want to make sure that you know, if
you send in an email to the show and you
want to stay anonymous, I want you to feel confident
that we will respect that. Okay, somebody sent in a
picture of brief jerky. It is edible meat underwear. It
(08:50):
is underwear made out of beef jerky. Now I don't
know why they sent it in.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
I think it's because I was talking about swimmers this
morning looking like beef jerky because they're so muscly.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Okay, the Olympic swimmers. Yeah yeah, okay, gotcha. Well, thank
you Kate for sending that in so much.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
And we're so sick because all I could think about
when you said swimmers was sperm just now, because we
also brought that up earlier, and I was like, Jenny, swimmers, I.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
Was thinking of the Olympic swimmer.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I know, well, we talked about the Olympic swimmers, and
you know, I'm not attracted to men, but I can
definitely look at a guy and go, dang, he has
got the look at the swimmers. They have the most muscular,
almost fat free body, and they've got the V shaped torso,
but they're not overly muscular. It's like, and I told Susan,
I said, would you hook up with one of those guys?
(09:38):
And Susan is just like, she just doesn't play that way.
Whereas if I asked somebody may maybe you have asked Jenny,
like would you hook up with one of those guys?
Hell yeah? And Susan is like, no, what.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Does she say she says no, or she's trying to
be respectful, or she doesn't.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Like when I ask things like that. She's just like no,
why gross? Stop?
Speaker 5 (10:00):
See I think that's I think that's weird because it's like,
are you Is she trying to come off as that
she doesn't find anyone attractive because she's married to you?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
I don't know, because that's a bunch of bull of corn.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I don't know. Oh, I I'm not really sure. I
mean I sit there and I say, wow, that woman
is beautiful, and I when you know, I mean, nobody
wants to hear about who I want to hook up
with because gross. But I don't have a problem expressing
that to her. But she just doesn't vibe that way.
So you know, all right? Next one, don't say my
name Dave van Crue. How did you process life? Change? Well,
(10:35):
let's move on. My now ex moved out months ago
and we broke up a few months ago. It was
not a health relationship. We started dating young and have
been together for almost a decade. Another change, I'm moving
in with a relative to save money, but leaving a
town that I love and have lived in for ten years.
I also might be losing my job at the end
(10:57):
of the year and trying to navigate the dating feel.
Needless to say, I got a lot of life changing,
got changes going on right now, and I'm reaching out
if you've got any advice on how to cope or
do you have any stories of a lot of life
change in one year to make mine feel more normal.
I'm going to go ahead and just differentiate between a
positive life change and a negative life change, and I
(11:20):
think you've got a little bit of both in here.
I think a positive life change is getting a promotion
or a raise, or you marry somebody that you love.
That's a positive. Losing your job and moving out of
a town that you love is a negative life change.
I would only say it kind of goes back to
my thaying no hill goes up forever. So there's been
a lot of shit happening in your life, and not
(11:42):
all of it has been good, you know, leaving the
town that you love and breaking up and whatever. But
I think that things will be better. I think you
always have to look forward to things get being better
because eventually they will get better. But I want to
turn it over to you, the two of you and
Bailey and find out how do you cope when you
(12:03):
have a lot of life change your stories from a
big life change.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
For me, I would say that I try to keep
myself very busy because once you start like making yourself busy,
your mind at least gets off of any kind of
stressor is that you you could be sitting at home
thinking about because like I know people who have gone
through really rough breakups and like I have two where
you just like lay in bed, but then all you're
doing is literally thinking about that. Whereas like at least
(12:29):
if you get out on a walk or something, you
might get your mind off of it for a couple minutes.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
It's probably not going to happen.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
You're probably still going to be thinking about it, but
it's going to help you out a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Like when I've gone through really hard things, I usually
was working like three jobs and just kept like trucking
through life and stayed really busy, and it really did
help me out.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
That's really good advice, Jinny. I remember I was going
through some awful dark shit about ten years ago, and
I thought about it all the time, all the time,
all the time. But I went out to doing a
p and sid a haunted house somewhere up north, like
in Wyoming, And I walked back to my car and
I thought, God, for the last three hours, I did
not think about it even once because I was busy.
(13:12):
So I think that that's some really good advice. Stay busy,
preoccupied with other positive things.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:19):
I also so my last year was actually one that
had a lot of changes. I ended a really long relationship,
my best friend broke up with me. My job was
really hard, and then I got this job, and so
it's like good things bad things is very like roller Coastery,
but like, in addition to staying busy, I kept a
(13:41):
list of like blessings essentially, so like, yes, I lost
out on my best friend of all time, but then
I started taking notes about like the friends in my
life who had really shown up for me, like since
her departure from my life, and all of the time
that I would have spent with her. How I started
using that time and then I just started keeping notes
(14:03):
of that where I'm like, Okay, now I've grown really
close to this person and this person, and I've been
my speech team is really like filling up my time
and my energy. So that I'm not, you know, laying
in bed and ruminating about it. But I just keep
a list of things that I'm thankful for.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
That's a really good thing. I tried the positive journal,
but every day was the same positive you know what
I mean, like your daily positivity journal. And I'm like, well,
I'm healthy and I got a great family and a
great job. Next day, what are you thankful for today? Well,
I'm healthy, got a great family, you get a great job,
you get me.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
More specific like little bitty things like oh, I'm happy
that I don't know the I can hear the breeze
and the leaves today and that's like the best part
of late spring eating blueberries.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Andrew'll be like, how lucky are we that we get
to eat blueberries. Andrew's a very grateful human. He lives
pretty simple life of like happiness, and like, I don't
know he it's just those little things that he'll bring
up sometimes, you.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Know, you think about it, and how lucky are we
that we get to eat blueberries? They didn't grow around here.
When somebody trucks him in from no Abilene, I think
they grow an ample.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
Yeah, And I just get to sit here, look at
you two, we do this little podcast and I just think, Wow,
what a blessing.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You know, what kind of is really? Seriously? All right?
Next one, do not say my name. I do not
want to be associated with the story that I am
bringing up for discussion. Laugh emoji. First time writer, longtime listener.
I told the story to a friend who said, you
got to send it into the Dave Ryan Show. Last week,
my neighbor had a story to share of something that
(15:32):
happened in our typical, quiet, family friendly neighborhood. My neighbor
started that at seven fifty in the morning, he was
inside his house looking out toward the street and saw
a naked man walking down the street. Masturbator.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Absolutely, I'm really hoping it was just going to be
a naked math.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Nope, nope, nope, plain a day, Like what the fuck?
My neighbor, being a taller, stronger guy, went out of
the house, grabbed an iron rod from his truck, and
confronted them. My neighbor also called the police in the
process and asked and the naked man was arrested. My
neighbor had video proof of said story and it was
all captured on his ring camera. My discussion topic for
(16:12):
you is. Have you ever had an encounter like this
or had a ring camera capture something funny, embarrassing or shocking.
I have no idea where this naked man walked in
from or why, but seriously, dude, what the fuck? Sincerely,
just an all right kind of dart liquor anonymous P
one listener. I love that. Thank you. No, I caught
(16:34):
a bear on my ring camera one time, and that's
all I got. I got a bearing carade, No Colorado.
I might have showed you a year or so ago. Yeah, No,
nothing like that. I've always wondered what I would do
if I was in McDonald's and somebody did one of
those things where they jumped across the counter and started
beating up on the cap. I always thought, because people go,
I can't believe people are standing around recording this on
(16:54):
their phone instead of breaking up the fight. I would
neverver get because I'm not a big person. Yeah, I'm
not going to get in the middle of it and
then get charged with assault or be like, oh god,
you pulled that woman off that other woman, you were
abusive to that woman. I'd be like, no, I'm not
I've never seen anything like that. If I do. I
will record it, Jenny. I mean, have you seen anything weird?
(17:19):
Gotten involved? Intervened?
Speaker 3 (17:21):
H The only thing I can think of was on
a flight a few years ago Andrew got sat next
to some guy who, like, I don't know if there
was something mentally wrong with him, but he was just
like talking to Andrew a bunch. He kept laying his
head on and I remember that it was really really strange.
And then like midway through the flight, he started like
just causing commotion. And I was in the middle seat
across the aisle from him, so I like started getting
(17:44):
like protective of Andrew because Andrew was like not doing
anything about it, and I go, hey, are you okay?
And I'm like reaching out. And then finally the girl
on Andrew's other side hit the buzzer to get a
flight attendant and was like, hey, I think he really
needs to move, like to Andrew. And then that kid
wouldn't get up. He literally wouldn't get up to let
(18:05):
Andrew out. God, it was just a very strange thing.
But I started recording it because I just like, when
you're on a flight and you don't really have an
escape plan, I was getting really stressed about the situation, like,
what is this guy gonna do? Is he gonna like
pull out some kind of weapon, you know? So I
did start recording that, but Andrew just kind of tried
to ignore him. I would have immediately been like, let
(18:26):
me move if that person, if he would have done
that to me. And I will say that I heard
him on the phone as the flight land ended and
he was talking very normally, So I don't know if
there was something wrong with him.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Or not interesting, but it was strange. Yeah, nothing that
strange to have happened to me. But my dad has
a ring camera and he died. He caught the mailman.
So my dad has like a couple of steps up
to his front door, and you have to just like
walk along, put the mail in, turn around, walk back,
walk down the steps, and then go back around this
little like fence kind of front porchy thing. And the
(18:58):
guy the mailman, tried to jump the little front porchy
thing got his whatst oh, Dave, I'll show you the
video because you feel bad. You're like, oh, he fell,
But it's so funny because he was so confidently hopped
over this little fence and just fell back down and
just stared at the sky for a second. He was
okay though, yeah he was fine. I mean he got
(19:19):
up and everything, but he was just like, I regret
the decision that I made. I laughed so hard at
that video. I've watched a million times since. Oh good times.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Now, you know, I've never seen anybody walking naked masturbating
down the street. I'm only going to point out you
spelled masturbating wrong. Is the m A S t U
r B A t I G not m A S
t E r B A t I n G masturbating
not masterbating a.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Lot, Dave? Yeah, yeah, you search in for.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Well back to my journaling.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah, okay, all right, we can move on.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Spent the day mass tour basing.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Okay, can I name the the title of that or
no masturbating, Yes, spend the day masturbating.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Spent the day master robating with a you yes, my
dearest morning show gang. And this is why we love
the Minnesota Goodbye, because we don't really kind of talk
about this stuff on the regular show because you know
what we I think one of the reasons we get
a little bit spicy on the show, of course, with
War of the Roses and Jenny will talk about you know,
pooping or that type of thing, or we'll talk about
(20:24):
or cousin Enel because we love the joke with cousin
Enel because it sounds just like anal. So this morning
we made a joke about vasileene and how my cousin
Enel really enjoys vasileine. And then Jenny said.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I said that, honestly, when I met cousin Enel, he
didn't like vasiline back then, so I didn't like him.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
What did you do? Just spit on his hand and
then rub it hunt?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
All right, too far, nous, take it back a.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Stad Sorry, sorry, all right. Last one, I want to
take the time to discuss the beef my father in
law has with mister David Ryan. I've always talked highly
of how great Dave is and has been every time
we and my children have met him. But to come
to find out that a long time ago, mister Dave
Ryan was doing a bit on the radio where he
(21:12):
asked people to call in with their best Rocky and
Bullwinkle impressions. Okay, great bit. My father in law called
with his actually really good impression of Bullwinkle. Mister Dave
Ryan then proceeded to rip my father in law to Shred,
stating it was the worst impression he has heard and
it sounded nothing like it. So now, David, I need
(21:33):
to hear you say the following, I'm sorry, Tim, your
impression is good. I was mistaken, lol, just so I
can record it and send it to him while he
is still a good sport about you, since his grandson
loves your children's book. I just thought you would like
to know. I don't remember that bit at all. I'm
(21:55):
gonna guess it was probably even back in the nineties,
probably during the Patty Birch Lee All's MC days of
the show, and I think I had a different tone
that I thought it was funnier to rip people on
the show. I remember one time somebody called in and
her name was god, what was it, Myrtle or something
like that, and I said Myrtle, and I played a
canned laughter of like like laughing at this woman's name, Myrtle,
(22:19):
and I thought it was funny, and then a friend
of mine pointed out, they said, you know what, that
was kind of not cool because it's the woman's name,
and she realizes it's a silly name, but you know,
to like put her on the radio and ask her
her name and then laugh at her name, Myrtle. It's
just and And I think there was a part of
me when I was younger that used to think that
kind of shit was kind of funny. I don't now.
(22:40):
Like when somebody calls up now and they tell a
really long, convoluted story, I never ever say, God, you're
the worst storyteller ever. I turned their button off. Yeah,
so it sounds like they stopped talking, and then I
kind of try to say, hey, thanks a lot, that
was really good. Yeah, I'm embarrassed. Anybody.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Can I tell you a quick story about a time
that you said something on the air you and Fallin
that hurt my feelings. Yeah, this was probably right when
Fallon started, and you were both making fun of women
who had like one long hair like around their nipple,
and I was like, but I have one long hair
by my nipple, and I know a lot of people
(23:22):
do and have to pluck it out, and I think
of that every time I have to pluck that dang
hair out of my nipple.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Also, how times have changed, because Alim, I definitely talk
about having nipple hair, we have to pluck it. So
back then maybe she didn't have any app but she
openly talks about that.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
I just remember that like clear as day, because I
think about it every time I have to pluck that
freaking hair off my nipple.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Can I tell you about the first time I saw boobs?
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Tell me the reason. I was nineteen, my girlfriend was eighteen, okay,
and I'd never seen I probably glimpsed my sisters or
my mom's by accident there there, but to be intimately
involved with the boobs. I was very disappointed that this girl,
who was only eighteen, had veiny boobs, and she had
a lot of veins in her Boobs're skinny?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Are they big boobs?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
They were big ish? Yeah, And I was very disappointed.
I was, like, I mean, not very disappointed, maybe more surprised.
I was very happy to be.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
You know, in the presence, in.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
The presence of her boobs, but I was very surprised.
I guess you could say, I didn't notice any nipple hair,
but veiny boobs. And some people can live at me
and like live they can be forty eight years old
and not have any veins in their boobs. And this
woman was eighteen, and she had veins in her boobs. Yeah,
shout out Vanessa.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Did you touch them? Did they feel like sand bags
or something?
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Well, because I know what boobs feel like, they feel
like big bags of.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Sand, bags of sand.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Yeah. Cool. Now that's a line from forty year old
virgin because he doesn't know what boobs feel like. So
somebody asked him and he lies and he says, they
feel like big bags of sand.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Yeah, that part.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
They feel like a water balloon.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Kind of like if I hold my own boobs, it's
a little different because they're like hard in.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
The middle, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Really, no, like what part?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Yeah, Like it's not just all like fat sitting on
your chest.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Mine feels like fat sitting on my chest.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Like a water in the middle.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Yeah, it's like a water balloon where the balloon itself
is like really thick feeling balloon, like a thick latex.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So so the outer skin is thick latex.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, that's what feels.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Sr one of what boobs feel like.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
I asked my mom when I was a kid what
it feels like to have boobs, and she goes, well,
you have a butt, don't you want to go? Yeah,
She's like, it feels the same as having a butt,
and I was like, oh, okay, that's true. I was
like a little bit more fun than that.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
It's like, yeah, okay, let's move on to the next
part of this. The same emailer, she says, while everybody's
talking about the annoying Chumba Casino ads, why is nobody
talking about the Benjamin Franklin ones. Oh my gosh, I
literally have to turn off or go to another race
at radio station every time I hear the unclog It
is the worst impression ever. It makes me cringe every
(26:00):
time I hear them. Uugh. I have an answer for
that one. There is an absolute deliberate tendency to make
those commercials memorable by making them moderately annoying. Sure they
know exactly what they're doing, like, Brad, you need to
(26:21):
call the Uncloggnator. Yes, I am the Unclaggnada. They deliberately
make them annoying because they just say, hey, Northern Benfranklin
dot com has a Google rating of four point nine
and they can come and unclog your drains twenty four
to seven snooze. So they do it very deliberately. And
I learned that when I was back in college. There
(26:41):
was a local clothing store called Gurmers in Colorado Springs
and they were legendary because their commercials were the worst
shit ever. There was these two young owners, probably twenty
eight years old each, and they would yell at the
camera and they would say stupid things. They would do
it in one take, and people would say, I Girmers commercials. God,
they're the fucking worst. But Girmers did great. Yeah, because
(27:06):
everybody knew. So I think what we need to do
is be more annoying, yes, so people will.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Remember us, kind of like that lady that has that
golf club or yeah, the golf lady in Florida that
goes spidding.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
She's so bad, but you remember, I.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Think she's good. Oh does she? She does she?
Speaker 4 (27:25):
I don't think it's a bit.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I think that she like thinks what she's doing is
good marketing, huh.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
I like the Northern Ben Franklin. I find their commercials
comforting because they're bad, Like they just seem like Minnesotans,
you know.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I like them, you know, I get that, and they're
definitely like they're trying to be Minnesotans. There is a
woman and I can't find her right now. But she
was I think on my radar a couple of weeks ago. Yes,
And she's a woman who is attractive, probably fifty ish
fifty five is years old, and she's like, she does
the social media for this golf resort and she's so
(28:00):
so bad, but people will go on there and praise her,
and people are so nice. They never say you suck.
Do you realize how bad you suck? But she's like, Hi,
it's Diane from the golf resort. We're having a taco
bar Tuesday night, and it's time for a twirl and
(28:21):
she's wearing a pretty sexy dress. And you can tell
that this woman knows that back in the twenties she
used to be hot. Back in the nineteen twenties, during
World War Two, she used to be hot. And so
she will still add but you get it, yeah, you
and I get it and watch it and we go
it's not because she's graceful or talented, no.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
But it's because it's cringey.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
But I also think it's because she's genuinely happy in it,
like it's like it's just her personality. So I think
people are cheering her on because they're like, this is
an attitude everyone should have.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
No, I think you're right, and people are really nice
because nobody goes on there and says you suck you
jackassd what the hell are you doing? But she really
genuinely thinks that she's doing a good job.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
So, speaking of taco bar, and one of you guys
fart something smells spice.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Would never fart in the studio the studio, any must be.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
Something smells weird anyway, carry out? Okay, all right, I
wanted to point that out in case one of you
had farted, it would now.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
We wouldn't admit it anyway. Oh well, but no, I
don't fart in the studio. I've got a personal policy.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
So you did fart, you just said you did. You
wouldn't admit it. So you're the one who parted.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
Something smells like cheesy, cheesy spice spicy cheese.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Well it's probably because you just ate thatch.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
That was like an hour I know.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
But isn't the wrapper in the garbage?
Speaker 4 (29:37):
How is that wafting all the way over here?
Speaker 2 (29:39):
I just got it, Like, are you pregnant?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Nont Anyway, She goes on to say, key about the
great work. I wass look forward to listen to one
of my favorite podcasts while I drive around the city
for work. Your p one listener, Jenny. I really enjoyed
the emails today on the Minnesota. I thank you. I
love the way you mix it up and talk about
everything from bad Bullwinkle impressions to cheesy fart smells. So
(30:05):
that was that was Paley. Yeah, appreciate that. Send your
emails into Ryan Show at KDWB dot com. We'll see
you next time here on the Minnesota. Goodbye.
All right, let's get started on the Minnesota Goodbye. I'm
going to start off with an email from Tristan, and
Tristan says, what is y'all's favorite summer activity around the area. Dave,
great job on Pike's Peak and Tristan, my favorite summer
activity around the area. God, that's a really good question I.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Answer for you.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Please, I would say, probably you going to walk in
like Lake Minwasta or something. Isn't there a spot you
like going there?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
You know? That is is my favorite spot to hike,
because it's really it's not remote at all, but when
you're on the back parts of Lake Minwashta, it feels
like you're in the middle of nowhere. It really is
like whoa first time was out there? I thought I
got lost? Yeah, and I wasn't lost at all. I
just kept following the trail in pretty soon, Oh there's
my car, but I felt like it was lost. I
would also say motorcycling. Oh yeah, I just love riding
(00:46):
the motorcycle. You know, we don't do it as often
as we should because we've been so busy this summer.
Like today, you know, I got a couple of appointments today.
I gotta get this thing chopped off. Well, they canceled
that right.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I think that you don't have that any I had
a dermatology.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Appointment again, a mole or something that grew on the
side of my face, so I need to get that
looked at. But I'm also going to Livia later today
for the B twelve LIGHTO injection for energy and weight loss,
and I think that's really cool. And then tomorrow I
leave for San Diego for a morning show conference and
I'm going to present an award to another DJ. I
won the award last year. I presented to him this year.
(01:25):
I get there tomorrow night, present the award at noon Friday,
leave at three on Friday. I don't get home until
eleven pm on Friday.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
You're flighting at three pm. You're making me nervous with
the tightness of you having to present and then.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Be on a flight.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
It is a little bit. Yeah. That's a good point, Jenny. Yeah,
I work.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
With radio DJs. Do you think they're going to be
on time?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
No, good point.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
They'll be on time for that. They do keep a
pretty strict schedule for that stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, because you've been to this before. And then ABA's
fifth birthday. Fourth birthday party is on Saturday, and then
next week we're going to be at Mall of America
and then after that we're going to be at a
happy hour next price. So we're pretty busy.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
We're busy people.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, yeah, what.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
About you summer activity, Jenny.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Mine would be probably rollerblading and biking and sometimes running,
but I can't run in like super hot heat.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
So yeah, you and pickleball right now?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Oh yeah, and pickleball, but I just got into that,
so I don't know if I could put that on
their as favorite.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I think that's going to be year round for me
now too.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
So yeah, mine's just walking. I walk every day if
I can.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
If the weather is nice, I could go on five
six seven mile walks, and usually it's just around like
the lakes and the cities, or I go up and
down just streets of like Linden Hills and just look
at people's houses.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
And that's impressive. I mean that's a long walk, it is.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
But when it's like seventy five degrees like yesterday, I've
so it's been the Fringe festival, so I'm not getting
a lot of sleep, which is my own choice.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
It's fine.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
It's once a year, but I've been trying to like
prioritize going home and taking like a long nap to
like get.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Ahead of sleep.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
And yesterday it was just so beautiful out that I
was just like, Wow, I guess I'm going to go
on a walk instead and just sleep for twenty minutes.
And yeah, but it's so nice out I can't not. Yeah,
I have to, because why would I not go on
a walk now when in four months I won't be
going out for four months.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, yeah, so we're taking it like September, October, November,
so yeah, sure enough, Yep, you're right, all right, next
one does don't say my name, but I only used
a first name, so I hopefully it'll be okay. I
was listening to the podcast and heard you guys talk
about what a porn star does when they are forty. Well,
my daughter's dad took off to another state in the
(03:35):
two thousands and came back a handful of years later
and had to admit that he had been doing porn.
I will go back and bleep out the name of
this person because there is a little bit more identification
than I would want to pass along there. He had
been recognized on the Internet and the news was starting
to come out. Not that it matters, but it was
(03:57):
gay porn and that added an extra more secretive element. Well,
now he's forty two and he will not discuss it.
I don't know him like that anymore, but it does
feel like he's struggling with big regrets that affect his
life even now. I'm sure it's not like that for everybody,
but he can't be the only one. I love you,
(04:17):
thank you, we love you back. Because this came up
on the show. Was it on the show or on
the podcast?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
It was on the actual show that we talked about it,
because we talked about do you regret it when you're
forty or something, and we just kind of said what
we thought people might think. And I think that some
people probably do. But I think some people might also
have the mindset of, like, no, I'm proud of like
doing that when I was young and hot and whatever.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I think that my logic would tell me that you
will regret it because you are porn as forever. So
if you make a porn now and you're young and
beautiful and you're twenty two and you got a smoking
body and you've got nothing to be ashamed of at all,
and it's not necessarily shameful, but it's something that it's
(05:01):
kind of like a tattoo that you kind of regret,
you know what I mean. If you get a tattoo of, like,
I don't know, angels wings on your back, it's a
bad example. But let's go with it. You might think
this is really cool. I really like this. I'm twenty six,
I look amazing with my you know, my big angel
wing tattoo. But then you get a little bit older
and now you're forty five, and you go, hm, I
(05:21):
kind of wish I hadn't done that one.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Maybe yeah, no, I mean for sure would you guys? Ever, Okay,
so say you're single and you find someone you really
like them. What if they had a previous like OnlyFans
with their ex and they were doing like sexual things
in it. Would you be able to get over that?
Because I don't think I could question.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Oh I think I could, because that's their past, Like
I mean, they did what they wanted to do at
the time, and it's like, okay, well, I'm not gonna
poo poo on you for just.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
And I agree because I can get over like Andrew
obviously has a pass. I have a pass, like I
can get over things like that, but I feel like
to put that on the internet, I don't know. I
would probably be a tempted to see if she's better
than me, and then it would like be scarred in
my head and I'd probably think about that in moments
I shouldn't be thinking about that, like, wait, she did
this here.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Don't go looking for it.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
But that's what I'm saying is I would be tempted
to I would be so tempted.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, I think I would too if I were just
like you said, if I were single and I met
somebody who's like, yeah, you know, back in the early nineties,
I did porn, and I'd be like, well, I gotta
go watch. And if she said no, don't watch, I'd
be like, I'm sorry, I think I have to. But
I think that might be kind of a deal breaker
(06:34):
because to me, I really do because I'm human, and
I would like to say, bow, it's in the past,
it doesn't bother me. It'd be kind of like if
somebody got a dui. I'm trying to think as I
say this, if they got maybe a series of duys
and now they're like, ah, you know what, I haven't
drank in a long time. I'd still be like, I
(06:56):
don't know.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
There's a difference between porn and a dui. A porn
is forever a dui. If you stop drinking and you
have remorse and if you change your life, then I
think it's a different thing.
Speaker 5 (07:07):
But I don't think you need remorse about doing porn,
because like, what if they did porn because one they
needed the money and they like, you know what, I've
got a hot bot, I'm proud of it. I need money,
and this is a good way to do it. I
feel like it's more empowering than anything, unless they're doing
like creepy, scary porn. Then I mean, I think, like, go,
if someone said if I was dating someone and they
(07:29):
were like, by the way I did porn, I'd be like, dope,
can I see? And then I'd be like, Wow, this
is great, look at you.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
And it could be a little sexism on my part
because I think that guys don't want to feel like
they were outperformed by another guy. Yeah, So if I'm
watching porn and this guy's got a big old wang
and he's like you know, and he's like just banging
away and she's like screaming and going, oh my god.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Yeah she's acting.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Say that's super fake, stupid sex, and she's still.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Choosing to be with you, even though she's had this
giant wang before.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Yeah, I think it's cool, But I guess.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I just also want to clarify that my example wasn't
about just porn in general. Mine was about you being
in a relationship prior with someone that you did like
and only fans with. Like, I think there's a little
bit of a difference between you going and banging and
doing random like stuff with people you don't have a
relationship with versus you had like an only fan that
was successful or something with your previous partner.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, but yeah, real, Will you remind me because I'll
forget to go back and put a bleep through her name,
Because I want to make sure that you know, if
you send in an email to the show and you
want to stay anonymous, I want you to feel confident
that we will respect that. Okay, somebody sent in a
picture of brief jerky. It is edible meat underwear. It
(08:50):
is underwear made out of beef jerky. Now I don't
know why they sent it in.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
I think it's because I was talking about swimmers this
morning looking like beef jerky because they're so muscly.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Okay, the Olympic swimmers. Yeah yeah, okay, gotcha. Well, thank
you Kate for sending that in so much.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
And we're so sick because all I could think about
when you said swimmers was sperm just now, because we
also brought that up earlier, and I was like, Jenny, swimmers, I.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
Was thinking of the Olympic swimmer.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I know, well, we talked about the Olympic swimmers, and
you know, I'm not attracted to men, but I can
definitely look at a guy and go, dang, he has
got the look at the swimmers. They have the most muscular,
almost fat free body, and they've got the V shaped torso,
but they're not overly muscular. It's like, and I told Susan,
I said, would you hook up with one of those guys?
(09:38):
And Susan is just like, she just doesn't play that way.
Whereas if I asked somebody may maybe you have asked Jenny,
like would you hook up with one of those guys?
Hell yeah? And Susan is like, no, what.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Does she say she says no, or she's trying to
be respectful, or she doesn't.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Like when I ask things like that. She's just like no,
why gross? Stop?
Speaker 5 (10:00):
See I think that's I think that's weird because it's like,
are you Is she trying to come off as that
she doesn't find anyone attractive because she's married to you?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
I don't know, because that's a bunch of bull of corn.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I don't know. Oh, I I'm not really sure. I
mean I sit there and I say, wow, that woman
is beautiful, and I when you know, I mean, nobody
wants to hear about who I want to hook up
with because gross. But I don't have a problem expressing
that to her. But she just doesn't vibe that way.
So you know, all right? Next one, don't say my
name Dave van Crue. How did you process life? Change? Well,
(10:35):
let's move on. My now ex moved out months ago
and we broke up a few months ago. It was
not a health relationship. We started dating young and have
been together for almost a decade. Another change, I'm moving
in with a relative to save money, but leaving a
town that I love and have lived in for ten years.
I also might be losing my job at the end
(10:57):
of the year and trying to navigate the dating feel.
Needless to say, I got a lot of life changing,
got changes going on right now, and I'm reaching out
if you've got any advice on how to cope or
do you have any stories of a lot of life
change in one year to make mine feel more normal.
I'm going to go ahead and just differentiate between a
positive life change and a negative life change, and I
(11:20):
think you've got a little bit of both in here.
I think a positive life change is getting a promotion
or a raise, or you marry somebody that you love.
That's a positive. Losing your job and moving out of
a town that you love is a negative life change.
I would only say it kind of goes back to
my thaying no hill goes up forever. So there's been
a lot of shit happening in your life, and not
(11:42):
all of it has been good, you know, leaving the
town that you love and breaking up and whatever. But
I think that things will be better. I think you
always have to look forward to things get being better
because eventually they will get better. But I want to
turn it over to you, the two of you and
Bailey and find out how do you cope when you
(12:03):
have a lot of life change your stories from a
big life change.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
For me, I would say that I try to keep
myself very busy because once you start like making yourself busy,
your mind at least gets off of any kind of
stressor is that you you could be sitting at home
thinking about because like I know people who have gone
through really rough breakups and like I have two where
you just like lay in bed, but then all you're
doing is literally thinking about that. Whereas like at least
(12:29):
if you get out on a walk or something, you
might get your mind off of it for a couple minutes.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
It's probably not going to happen.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
You're probably still going to be thinking about it, but
it's going to help you out a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Like when I've gone through really hard things, I usually
was working like three jobs and just kept like trucking
through life and stayed really busy, and it really did
help me out.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
That's really good advice, Jinny. I remember I was going
through some awful dark shit about ten years ago, and
I thought about it all the time, all the time,
all the time. But I went out to doing a
p and sid a haunted house somewhere up north, like
in Wyoming, And I walked back to my car and
I thought, God, for the last three hours, I did
not think about it even once because I was busy.
(13:12):
So I think that that's some really good advice. Stay busy,
preoccupied with other positive things.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:19):
I also so my last year was actually one that
had a lot of changes. I ended a really long relationship,
my best friend broke up with me. My job was
really hard, and then I got this job, and so
it's like good things bad things is very like roller Coastery,
but like, in addition to staying busy, I kept a
(13:41):
list of like blessings essentially, so like, yes, I lost
out on my best friend of all time, but then
I started taking notes about like the friends in my
life who had really shown up for me, like since
her departure from my life, and all of the time
that I would have spent with her. How I started
using that time and then I just started keeping notes
(14:03):
of that where I'm like, Okay, now I've grown really
close to this person and this person, and I've been
my speech team is really like filling up my time
and my energy. So that I'm not, you know, laying
in bed and ruminating about it. But I just keep
a list of things that I'm thankful for.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
That's a really good thing. I tried the positive journal,
but every day was the same positive you know what
I mean, like your daily positivity journal. And I'm like, well,
I'm healthy and I got a great family and a
great job. Next day, what are you thankful for today? Well,
I'm healthy, got a great family, you get a great job,
you get me.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
More specific like little bitty things like oh, I'm happy
that I don't know the I can hear the breeze
and the leaves today and that's like the best part
of late spring eating blueberries.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Andrew'll be like, how lucky are we that we get
to eat blueberries. Andrew's a very grateful human. He lives
pretty simple life of like happiness, and like, I don't
know he it's just those little things that he'll bring
up sometimes, you.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Know, you think about it, and how lucky are we
that we get to eat blueberries? They didn't grow around here.
When somebody trucks him in from no Abilene, I think
they grow an ample.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
Yeah, And I just get to sit here, look at
you two, we do this little podcast and I just think, Wow,
what a blessing.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You know, what kind of is really? Seriously? All right?
Next one, do not say my name. I do not
want to be associated with the story that I am
bringing up for discussion. Laugh emoji. First time writer, longtime listener.
I told the story to a friend who said, you
got to send it into the Dave Ryan Show. Last week,
my neighbor had a story to share of something that
(15:32):
happened in our typical, quiet, family friendly neighborhood. My neighbor
started that at seven fifty in the morning, he was
inside his house looking out toward the street and saw
a naked man walking down the street. Masturbator.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Absolutely, I'm really hoping it was just going to be
a naked math.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Nope, nope, nope, plain a day, Like what the fuck?
My neighbor, being a taller, stronger guy, went out of
the house, grabbed an iron rod from his truck, and
confronted them. My neighbor also called the police in the
process and asked and the naked man was arrested. My
neighbor had video proof of said story and it was
all captured on his ring camera. My discussion topic for
(16:12):
you is. Have you ever had an encounter like this
or had a ring camera capture something funny, embarrassing or shocking.
I have no idea where this naked man walked in
from or why, but seriously, dude, what the fuck? Sincerely,
just an all right kind of dart liquor anonymous P
one listener. I love that. Thank you. No, I caught
(16:34):
a bear on my ring camera one time, and that's
all I got. I got a bearing carade, No Colorado.
I might have showed you a year or so ago. Yeah, No,
nothing like that. I've always wondered what I would do
if I was in McDonald's and somebody did one of
those things where they jumped across the counter and started
beating up on the cap. I always thought, because people go,
I can't believe people are standing around recording this on
(16:54):
their phone instead of breaking up the fight. I would
neverver get because I'm not a big person. Yeah, I'm
not going to get in the middle of it and
then get charged with assault or be like, oh god,
you pulled that woman off that other woman, you were
abusive to that woman. I'd be like, no, I'm not
I've never seen anything like that. If I do. I
will record it, Jenny. I mean, have you seen anything weird?
(17:19):
Gotten involved? Intervened?
Speaker 3 (17:21):
H The only thing I can think of was on
a flight a few years ago Andrew got sat next
to some guy who, like, I don't know if there
was something mentally wrong with him, but he was just
like talking to Andrew a bunch. He kept laying his
head on and I remember that it was really really strange.
And then like midway through the flight, he started like
just causing commotion. And I was in the middle seat
across the aisle from him, so I like started getting
(17:44):
like protective of Andrew because Andrew was like not doing
anything about it, and I go, hey, are you okay?
And I'm like reaching out. And then finally the girl
on Andrew's other side hit the buzzer to get a
flight attendant and was like, hey, I think he really
needs to move, like to Andrew. And then that kid
wouldn't get up. He literally wouldn't get up to let
(18:05):
Andrew out. God, it was just a very strange thing.
But I started recording it because I just like, when
you're on a flight and you don't really have an
escape plan, I was getting really stressed about the situation, like,
what is this guy gonna do? Is he gonna like
pull out some kind of weapon, you know? So I
did start recording that, but Andrew just kind of tried
to ignore him. I would have immediately been like, let
(18:26):
me move if that person, if he would have done
that to me. And I will say that I heard
him on the phone as the flight land ended and
he was talking very normally, So I don't know if
there was something wrong with him.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Or not interesting, but it was strange. Yeah, nothing that
strange to have happened to me. But my dad has
a ring camera and he died. He caught the mailman.
So my dad has like a couple of steps up
to his front door, and you have to just like
walk along, put the mail in, turn around, walk back,
walk down the steps, and then go back around this
little like fence kind of front porchy thing. And the
(18:58):
guy the mailman, tried to jump the little front porchy
thing got his whatst oh, Dave, I'll show you the
video because you feel bad. You're like, oh, he fell,
But it's so funny because he was so confidently hopped
over this little fence and just fell back down and
just stared at the sky for a second. He was
okay though, yeah he was fine. I mean he got
(19:19):
up and everything, but he was just like, I regret
the decision that I made. I laughed so hard at
that video. I've watched a million times since. Oh good times.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Now, you know, I've never seen anybody walking naked masturbating
down the street. I'm only going to point out you
spelled masturbating wrong. Is the m A S t U
r B A t I G not m A S
t E r B A t I n G masturbating
not masterbating a.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Lot, Dave? Yeah, yeah, you search in for.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Well back to my journaling.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah, okay, all right, we can move on.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Spent the day mass tour basing.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Okay, can I name the the title of that or
no masturbating, Yes, spend the day masturbating.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Spent the day master robating with a you yes, my
dearest morning show gang. And this is why we love
the Minnesota Goodbye, because we don't really kind of talk
about this stuff on the regular show because you know
what we I think one of the reasons we get
a little bit spicy on the show, of course, with
War of the Roses and Jenny will talk about you know,
pooping or that type of thing, or we'll talk about
(20:24):
or cousin Enel because we love the joke with cousin
Enel because it sounds just like anal. So this morning
we made a joke about vasileene and how my cousin
Enel really enjoys vasileine. And then Jenny said.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I said that, honestly, when I met cousin Enel, he
didn't like vasiline back then, so I didn't like him.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
What did you do? Just spit on his hand and
then rub it hunt?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
All right, too far, nous, take it back a.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Stad Sorry, sorry, all right. Last one, I want to
take the time to discuss the beef my father in
law has with mister David Ryan. I've always talked highly
of how great Dave is and has been every time
we and my children have met him. But to come
to find out that a long time ago, mister Dave
Ryan was doing a bit on the radio where he
(21:12):
asked people to call in with their best Rocky and
Bullwinkle impressions. Okay, great bit. My father in law called
with his actually really good impression of Bullwinkle. Mister Dave
Ryan then proceeded to rip my father in law to Shred,
stating it was the worst impression he has heard and
it sounded nothing like it. So now, David, I need
(21:33):
to hear you say the following, I'm sorry, Tim, your
impression is good. I was mistaken, lol, just so I
can record it and send it to him while he
is still a good sport about you, since his grandson
loves your children's book. I just thought you would like
to know. I don't remember that bit at all. I'm
(21:55):
gonna guess it was probably even back in the nineties,
probably during the Patty Birch Lee All's MC days of
the show, and I think I had a different tone
that I thought it was funnier to rip people on
the show. I remember one time somebody called in and
her name was god, what was it, Myrtle or something
like that, and I said Myrtle, and I played a
canned laughter of like like laughing at this woman's name, Myrtle,
(22:19):
and I thought it was funny, and then a friend
of mine pointed out, they said, you know what, that
was kind of not cool because it's the woman's name,
and she realizes it's a silly name, but you know,
to like put her on the radio and ask her
her name and then laugh at her name, Myrtle. It's
just and And I think there was a part of
me when I was younger that used to think that
kind of shit was kind of funny. I don't now.
(22:40):
Like when somebody calls up now and they tell a
really long, convoluted story, I never ever say, God, you're
the worst storyteller ever. I turned their button off. Yeah,
so it sounds like they stopped talking, and then I
kind of try to say, hey, thanks a lot, that
was really good. Yeah, I'm embarrassed. Anybody.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Can I tell you a quick story about a time
that you said something on the air you and Fallin
that hurt my feelings. Yeah, this was probably right when
Fallon started, and you were both making fun of women
who had like one long hair like around their nipple,
and I was like, but I have one long hair
by my nipple, and I know a lot of people
(23:22):
do and have to pluck it out, and I think
of that every time I have to pluck that dang
hair out of my nipple.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Also, how times have changed, because Alim, I definitely talk
about having nipple hair, we have to pluck it. So
back then maybe she didn't have any app but she
openly talks about that.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
I just remember that like clear as day, because I
think about it every time I have to pluck that
freaking hair off my nipple.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Can I tell you about the first time I saw boobs?
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Tell me the reason. I was nineteen, my girlfriend was eighteen, okay,
and I'd never seen I probably glimpsed my sisters or
my mom's by accident there there, but to be intimately
involved with the boobs. I was very disappointed that this girl,
who was only eighteen, had veiny boobs, and she had
a lot of veins in her Boobs're skinny?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Are they big boobs?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
They were big ish? Yeah, And I was very disappointed.
I was, like, I mean, not very disappointed, maybe more surprised.
I was very happy to be.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
You know, in the presence, in.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
The presence of her boobs, but I was very surprised.
I guess you could say, I didn't notice any nipple hair,
but veiny boobs. And some people can live at me
and like live they can be forty eight years old
and not have any veins in their boobs. And this
woman was eighteen, and she had veins in her boobs. Yeah,
shout out Vanessa.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Did you touch them? Did they feel like sand bags
or something?
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Well, because I know what boobs feel like, they feel
like big bags of.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Sand, bags of sand.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Yeah. Cool. Now that's a line from forty year old
virgin because he doesn't know what boobs feel like. So
somebody asked him and he lies and he says, they
feel like big bags of sand.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Yeah, that part.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
They feel like a water balloon.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Kind of like if I hold my own boobs, it's
a little different because they're like hard in.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
The middle, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Really, no, like what part?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Yeah, Like it's not just all like fat sitting on
your chest.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Mine feels like fat sitting on my chest.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Like a water in the middle.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Yeah, it's like a water balloon where the balloon itself
is like really thick feeling balloon, like a thick latex.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So so the outer skin is thick latex.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, that's what feels.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Sr one of what boobs feel like.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
I asked my mom when I was a kid what
it feels like to have boobs, and she goes, well,
you have a butt, don't you want to go? Yeah,
She's like, it feels the same as having a butt,
and I was like, oh, okay, that's true. I was
like a little bit more fun than that.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
It's like, yeah, okay, let's move on to the next
part of this. The same emailer, she says, while everybody's
talking about the annoying Chumba Casino ads, why is nobody
talking about the Benjamin Franklin ones. Oh my gosh, I
literally have to turn off or go to another race
at radio station every time I hear the unclog It
is the worst impression ever. It makes me cringe every
(26:00):
time I hear them. Uugh. I have an answer for
that one. There is an absolute deliberate tendency to make
those commercials memorable by making them moderately annoying. Sure they
know exactly what they're doing, like, Brad, you need to
(26:21):
call the Uncloggnator. Yes, I am the Unclaggnada. They deliberately
make them annoying because they just say, hey, Northern Benfranklin
dot com has a Google rating of four point nine
and they can come and unclog your drains twenty four
to seven snooze. So they do it very deliberately. And
I learned that when I was back in college. There
(26:41):
was a local clothing store called Gurmers in Colorado Springs
and they were legendary because their commercials were the worst
shit ever. There was these two young owners, probably twenty
eight years old each, and they would yell at the
camera and they would say stupid things. They would do
it in one take, and people would say, I Girmers commercials. God,
they're the fucking worst. But Girmers did great. Yeah, because
(27:06):
everybody knew. So I think what we need to do
is be more annoying, yes, so people will.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Remember us, kind of like that lady that has that
golf club or yeah, the golf lady in Florida that
goes spidding.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
She's so bad, but you remember, I.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Think she's good. Oh does she? She does she?
Speaker 4 (27:25):
I don't think it's a bit.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I think that she like thinks what she's doing is
good marketing, huh.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
I like the Northern Ben Franklin. I find their commercials
comforting because they're bad, Like they just seem like Minnesotans,
you know.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I like them, you know, I get that, and they're
definitely like they're trying to be Minnesotans. There is a
woman and I can't find her right now. But she
was I think on my radar a couple of weeks ago. Yes,
And she's a woman who is attractive, probably fifty ish
fifty five is years old, and she's like, she does
the social media for this golf resort and she's so
(28:00):
so bad, but people will go on there and praise her,
and people are so nice. They never say you suck.
Do you realize how bad you suck? But she's like, Hi,
it's Diane from the golf resort. We're having a taco
bar Tuesday night, and it's time for a twirl and
(28:21):
she's wearing a pretty sexy dress. And you can tell
that this woman knows that back in the twenties she
used to be hot. Back in the nineteen twenties, during
World War Two, she used to be hot. And so
she will still add but you get it, yeah, you
and I get it and watch it and we go
it's not because she's graceful or talented, no.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
But it's because it's cringey.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
But I also think it's because she's genuinely happy in it,
like it's like it's just her personality. So I think
people are cheering her on because they're like, this is
an attitude everyone should have.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
No, I think you're right, and people are really nice
because nobody goes on there and says you suck you
jackassd what the hell are you doing? But she really
genuinely thinks that she's doing a good job.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
So, speaking of taco bar, and one of you guys
fart something smells spice.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Would never fart in the studio the studio, any must be.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
Something smells weird anyway, carry out? Okay, all right, I
wanted to point that out in case one of you
had farted, it would now.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
We wouldn't admit it anyway. Oh well, but no, I
don't fart in the studio. I've got a personal policy.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
So you did fart, you just said you did. You
wouldn't admit it. So you're the one who parted.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
Something smells like cheesy, cheesy spice spicy cheese.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Well it's probably because you just ate thatch.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
That was like an hour I know.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
But isn't the wrapper in the garbage?
Speaker 4 (29:37):
How is that wafting all the way over here?
Speaker 2 (29:39):
I just got it, Like, are you pregnant?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Nont Anyway, She goes on to say, key about the
great work. I wass look forward to listen to one
of my favorite podcasts while I drive around the city
for work. Your p one listener, Jenny. I really enjoyed
the emails today on the Minnesota. I thank you. I
love the way you mix it up and talk about
everything from bad Bullwinkle impressions to cheesy fart smells. So
(30:05):
that was that was Paley. Yeah, appreciate that. Send your
emails into Ryan Show at KDWB dot com. We'll see
you next time here on the Minnesota. Goodbye.
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