April 10, 2025 • 9 mins
Always a highlight of any War of the Roses marathon, your favorite: Nick the Stoner!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
He lest me, not only one way to find out
war of the roses, I'll.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
War roses today. Hi, guys, let's talk about your war
the roses. What's going on with you and your boyfriend Nick?
Speaker 3 (00:15):
So, my boyfriend Nick and I have been dating. I
mean we were dating for about three years and I
was living with him, and I finally broke up with
him because he kept calling me by the.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Wrong name, like during during the loven or just like
around the house or what what was what was the
name that he called you?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
We could call me Amber and I'm like, oh, the Amber.
She's like, oh babe, sorry, you know, I'm like, is
it an next girlfriend? He was always very vague about it,
just called for the wrong name and just started picking
me off. And finally I'm like, well, obviously he was
subconsciously just thinking of somebody else instead of me. So
I know, paved out of the house.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So that's all it took was for you to like
you just had had it with him. That's weird, because
you know what, when I cheated on girlfriends in the past,
I never had a problem with calling them the wrong name.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
No, not consistently.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So you moved out, But then recently now you move back,
what with your mom and dad?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah? Because yeah, I mean he owned his house and
so I had moved in with him. Okay, so I
moved back to my parents. But like a couple months ago,
we started things back up again. I mean, he seems like,
you know, he seems like he's changed. And although, okay,
a couple of weeks ago, I was making his bed
and I found a red song in his bed.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I love that. Okay, So it doesn't get much more
incriminating than that, you found a red thong a woman
knows where the underwear is hers or not in his bed?
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Yeah, okay, okay, but listen to this. Okay, so he
tells me, I'm like, you know, obviously I confronted him
and he got really defensive, and he's like, well, my
mom slept over. She's then now I'm visiting, and she
slept in her bed. But I just I don't know, Like,
I have a hard time picturing his mom wearing a
red song.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yeah, well mom, where's that grow?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Well, I will tell you now how old is his mom?
And I can tell you whether or not it's in
the realm of possibility. She was wearing a thong? How
old is his mom. It's totally possible she could be
wearing a thong.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
So who lets his mom wear a thong and sleep
in his bed?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
And whose mom sleeps in son's bed with a thong? Anyway?
That is just gross? Are you ready to make the
phone call? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
What's his phone company? Michelle?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
What?
Speaker 4 (02:17):
What's his phone company? Okay?
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Man?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Hi?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I'm looking for Nick. Please? Hi Nick.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
My name is Amy and I'm calling from How are
you good? I'm awesome. The reason I'm calling Nick is
because your name has shown up on my screen. Is
one of our preferred customers. And if you're willing to
answer just a quick two question survey for me, it'll
take only about thirty seconds. Then I can go ahead
and send flowers romantic roses to anyone of your choosing today,
free of charge.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Do you have like thirty seconds for me? It's always sweet? Okay?
Scale of one to ten? How happy are you with
your cell service? Right now? I want to go one
was the best?
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Right? Sorry?
Speaker 4 (03:11):
One is the worst? Ten is the best?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
One is the worst?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
No, good, I guess let's go ten.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Okay and then again, Scale of one to ten? How
likely will you be to renew with us once your
contract's up.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
The same scale of one to ten or is this maybe, like,
is this a different EAI route we're taking.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
No, No, No, same scale, one being the worst, ten
is the best.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, ten.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Is the best?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Right, yep, ten is the best.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Okay, okay, Yeah, let's go. Let's go ten again.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Now that you've done that, I can go ahead and
send roses to any one of your choosing today for
your charge. So they're romantic red roses. So I need
the name of the person that you'd like us to
send the flowers to.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Three people.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Yeah, I'd like to split them.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Up in the three I can definitely I can split
them up if you want me to three, like split on.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Like four four four.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, okay, let me let me get let me go
to two people.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Wow, So you have two different girlfriends different okay, ye,
take care of them all. Okay, So, uh, give me
the names of the of the two lucky ladies.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Then nick what's the first name?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Uh you Michelle?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (04:32):
What what is it her nickname?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Totally okay?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
And then what would you like if you put on
the card for Wet what what?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
What think about you?
Speaker 5 (04:44):
All the time?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Okay? Okay? And then who's the other girl for you? Nick?
Let's say the next next bat bath? Okay to bath?
And what would you like me to put on the
card from Beth?
Speaker 5 (04:57):
Let's what's it up this time?
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Let's go?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I'm always speaking of wow.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So wait a second, Yeah, that's kind of becoming quite
apparent here, Hey, Nick, what's up?
Speaker 5 (05:10):
Dude?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Bud A little wake and baked this morning?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
How much have you smoked this morning? Nick?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Hey, on a scale of one to ten, how baked
are you right now? Nick? I'm just curious. Hey, Nick,
I I have some bad news that I'm going to
see if I can explain, because it's it's hard to
explain to a guy who's not baked out of his mind.
But it's really not your phone company totally. It's really
(05:40):
not your phone company. It's the Dave Ryan in the
Morning Show, and we have on the phone right now.
You're kind of on again, off again girlfriend, wet wet Wet, Michelle,
you never told me your nickname is wet Wet?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Well? Would I tell anyone that.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Anymore?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Because I'm no longer his girlfriend because he's a cheating Okay,
so harsh?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Who is who is Becaho? You know who Michelle is?
In wet wet? But now who is who is Beth?
Because you want to send flowers to three different girls
and you narrowed it down to two girls, So that's
not that bad. You know.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Who's Amber? By the way, that was my other question.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Who was Amber?
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Kept calling her Amber? Do you remember? Uh?
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Amber?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Not quite sure with you on that one.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
But uh, okay, wait a second, okay, okay, So now
you understand that this is kind of a bad thing
for you because your girlfriend Michelle is now kind of
busting you sending roses not only to her but also
to this other girl, Beth. That's not really a good thing.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Yeah, uh one, he's I don't think I've ever been
as stoned as this guy sounds like he.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Is right now.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I don't think he even knows what's going on?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Does he sound? Let me ask you a question. You're
at work?
Speaker 5 (07:23):
Are we?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Seriously? Is the joke on us? I have no idea
are you? You're at work right now? But see, this
is the thing that I like the message. I like
the message because we took notes on this one. The
first message was to Michelle that said, wet wet, I
think about you all the time. But you wanted to
(07:46):
be different for the second one, so you said to best,
I'm always thinking of you.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Yeah, my dad was a writer, so you know, I
kind of.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Like that.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Oh come on, who's who are you?
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I feel like I feel like we're being played a
joke on but I kind of hope we're not, because
I hope people like.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
This actually exist. Nick is lovely, Michelle, are you still?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Are you still with us?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I'm just shocked at what I'm more on he is
and I'm just Nick it's over. There is no once again. Okay,
you've brought me for good, and you know we have
to look over the cool bed.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Dude, I have to ask you. Did your mom really
leave her thong in your bed?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Did stay in the house? You know, well, I crashed
on the couch, use it room.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Why does your mom take her throng off in your bed?
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Oh no, she's a freak.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Okay, all right, I'm gonna let you to go. This
is too big a man. Listen, seriously, Michelle, if you're
really interested in this guy and you look into his
eyes and melt I think if I'd look to do
his eyes and make my eyes sore, I.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Think I'd get a contact. Oh my god, laugh laugh
on Nick, Honey, you.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Know what, Seriously, run go back, run away, wet, runaway,
go back to your mom and dad's house. Seriously. I
don't think you're missing out on much on this one. Okay, honey, Nick,
any final words? Perfect. He's driving a bus right now.
That's the amazing thing. He's driving a school bus right now.
It's awesome school.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Oh I'm sorry, Michelle. If you really are for real
and not just punking us, I feel bad. I feel
bad for you, but you sound I really don't know.
We may never know. Oh my god. Okay, thanks guys
for being on more of the roses.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
No, you're not getting any roses.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Okay, I'm taking your kids to school,
He lest me, not only one way to find out
war of the roses, I'll.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
War roses today. Hi, guys, let's talk about your war
the roses. What's going on with you and your boyfriend Nick?
Speaker 3 (00:15):
So, my boyfriend Nick and I have been dating. I
mean we were dating for about three years and I
was living with him, and I finally broke up with
him because he kept calling me by the.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Wrong name, like during during the loven or just like
around the house or what what was what was the
name that he called you?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
We could call me Amber and I'm like, oh, the Amber.
She's like, oh babe, sorry, you know, I'm like, is
it an next girlfriend? He was always very vague about it,
just called for the wrong name and just started picking
me off. And finally I'm like, well, obviously he was
subconsciously just thinking of somebody else instead of me. So
I know, paved out of the house.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So that's all it took was for you to like
you just had had it with him. That's weird, because
you know what, when I cheated on girlfriends in the past,
I never had a problem with calling them the wrong name.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
No, not consistently.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So you moved out, But then recently now you move back,
what with your mom and dad?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah? Because yeah, I mean he owned his house and
so I had moved in with him. Okay, so I
moved back to my parents. But like a couple months ago,
we started things back up again. I mean, he seems like,
you know, he seems like he's changed. And although, okay,
a couple of weeks ago, I was making his bed
and I found a red song in his bed.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I love that. Okay, So it doesn't get much more
incriminating than that, you found a red thong a woman
knows where the underwear is hers or not in his bed?
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Yeah, okay, okay, but listen to this. Okay, so he
tells me, I'm like, you know, obviously I confronted him
and he got really defensive, and he's like, well, my
mom slept over. She's then now I'm visiting, and she
slept in her bed. But I just I don't know, Like,
I have a hard time picturing his mom wearing a
red song.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yeah, well mom, where's that grow?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Well, I will tell you now how old is his mom?
And I can tell you whether or not it's in
the realm of possibility. She was wearing a thong? How
old is his mom. It's totally possible she could be
wearing a thong.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
So who lets his mom wear a thong and sleep
in his bed?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
And whose mom sleeps in son's bed with a thong? Anyway?
That is just gross? Are you ready to make the
phone call? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
What's his phone company? Michelle?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
What?
Speaker 4 (02:17):
What's his phone company? Okay?
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Man?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Hi?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I'm looking for Nick. Please? Hi Nick.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
My name is Amy and I'm calling from How are
you good? I'm awesome. The reason I'm calling Nick is
because your name has shown up on my screen. Is
one of our preferred customers. And if you're willing to
answer just a quick two question survey for me, it'll
take only about thirty seconds. Then I can go ahead
and send flowers romantic roses to anyone of your choosing today,
free of charge.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Do you have like thirty seconds for me? It's always sweet? Okay?
Scale of one to ten? How happy are you with
your cell service? Right now? I want to go one
was the best?
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Right? Sorry?
Speaker 4 (03:11):
One is the worst? Ten is the best?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
One is the worst?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
No, good, I guess let's go ten.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Okay and then again, Scale of one to ten? How
likely will you be to renew with us once your
contract's up.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
The same scale of one to ten or is this maybe, like,
is this a different EAI route we're taking.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
No, No, No, same scale, one being the worst, ten
is the best.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, ten.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Is the best?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Right, yep, ten is the best.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Okay, okay, Yeah, let's go. Let's go ten again.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Now that you've done that, I can go ahead and
send roses to any one of your choosing today for
your charge. So they're romantic red roses. So I need
the name of the person that you'd like us to
send the flowers to.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Three people.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Yeah, I'd like to split them.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Up in the three I can definitely I can split
them up if you want me to three, like split on.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Like four four four.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, okay, let me let me get let me go
to two people.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Wow, So you have two different girlfriends different okay, ye,
take care of them all. Okay, So, uh, give me
the names of the of the two lucky ladies.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Then nick what's the first name?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Uh you Michelle?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (04:32):
What what is it her nickname?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Totally okay?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
And then what would you like if you put on
the card for Wet what what?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
What think about you?
Speaker 5 (04:44):
All the time?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Okay? Okay? And then who's the other girl for you? Nick?
Let's say the next next bat bath? Okay to bath?
And what would you like me to put on the
card from Beth?
Speaker 5 (04:57):
Let's what's it up this time?
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Let's go?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I'm always speaking of wow.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So wait a second, Yeah, that's kind of becoming quite
apparent here, Hey, Nick, what's up?
Speaker 5 (05:10):
Dude?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Bud A little wake and baked this morning?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
How much have you smoked this morning? Nick?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Hey, on a scale of one to ten, how baked
are you right now? Nick? I'm just curious. Hey, Nick,
I I have some bad news that I'm going to
see if I can explain, because it's it's hard to
explain to a guy who's not baked out of his mind.
But it's really not your phone company totally. It's really
(05:40):
not your phone company. It's the Dave Ryan in the
Morning Show, and we have on the phone right now.
You're kind of on again, off again girlfriend, wet wet Wet, Michelle,
you never told me your nickname is wet Wet?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Well? Would I tell anyone that.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Anymore?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Because I'm no longer his girlfriend because he's a cheating Okay,
so harsh?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Who is who is Becaho? You know who Michelle is?
In wet wet? But now who is who is Beth?
Because you want to send flowers to three different girls
and you narrowed it down to two girls, So that's
not that bad. You know.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Who's Amber? By the way, that was my other question.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Who was Amber?
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Kept calling her Amber? Do you remember? Uh?
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Amber?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Not quite sure with you on that one.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
But uh, okay, wait a second, okay, okay, So now
you understand that this is kind of a bad thing
for you because your girlfriend Michelle is now kind of
busting you sending roses not only to her but also
to this other girl, Beth. That's not really a good thing.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Yeah, uh one, he's I don't think I've ever been
as stoned as this guy sounds like he.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Is right now.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I don't think he even knows what's going on?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Does he sound? Let me ask you a question. You're
at work?
Speaker 5 (07:23):
Are we?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Seriously? Is the joke on us? I have no idea
are you? You're at work right now? But see, this
is the thing that I like the message. I like
the message because we took notes on this one. The
first message was to Michelle that said, wet wet, I
think about you all the time. But you wanted to
(07:46):
be different for the second one, so you said to best,
I'm always thinking of you.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Yeah, my dad was a writer, so you know, I
kind of.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Like that.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Oh come on, who's who are you?
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I feel like I feel like we're being played a
joke on but I kind of hope we're not, because
I hope people like.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
This actually exist. Nick is lovely, Michelle, are you still?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Are you still with us?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I'm just shocked at what I'm more on he is
and I'm just Nick it's over. There is no once again. Okay,
you've brought me for good, and you know we have
to look over the cool bed.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Dude, I have to ask you. Did your mom really
leave her thong in your bed?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Did stay in the house? You know, well, I crashed
on the couch, use it room.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Why does your mom take her throng off in your bed?
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Oh no, she's a freak.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Okay, all right, I'm gonna let you to go. This
is too big a man. Listen, seriously, Michelle, if you're
really interested in this guy and you look into his
eyes and melt I think if I'd look to do
his eyes and make my eyes sore, I.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Think I'd get a contact. Oh my god, laugh laugh
on Nick, Honey, you.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Know what, Seriously, run go back, run away, wet, runaway,
go back to your mom and dad's house. Seriously. I
don't think you're missing out on much on this one. Okay, honey, Nick,
any final words? Perfect. He's driving a bus right now.
That's the amazing thing. He's driving a school bus right now.
It's awesome school.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Oh I'm sorry, Michelle. If you really are for real
and not just punking us, I feel bad. I feel
bad for you, but you sound I really don't know.
We may never know. Oh my god. Okay, thanks guys
for being on more of the roses.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
No, you're not getting any roses.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Okay, I'm taking your kids to school,
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