Why Are Americans So Unhappy?

Why are Americans so unhappy? Is it the political climate? the crime rate? finances? Patty and the crew discuss.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Whether it's life, relationships, politics, or current events, nothing is off
limits. This is the Patty andthe Millennials podcast, powered by ACME Markets,
helping to bridge the gap between babyboomers, gen X and millennials.
The podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials. Thank you for joining us on Patty

(00:21):
Jackson, I'm a radio event inPhiladelphia, and I love conversation and I
love gathering up different opinions and people. There's millennials, there's gen X,
There's I get all these gens,confused, millennials, gen X, I'm
a baby boomer. There's just somany. But we have great conversation.

(00:44):
We've got Arlene Felder Glassy brown cookieshere, We've got Chocolate Divinity Ladies.
We're going to start and Arlen,you can you know start first. I
recently read a survey that said mostAmericans are unhappy. I can see it
in young people because the cost ofliving is crazy. How do you manage?

(01:08):
How do you live without getting aside gig? And I think for
most people, maybe some baby boomersand Gen X, they're not happy because
of the choices they made in theirlives. Arlene Man, there's so many
different directions to go with this conversation. It's crazy. The one thing about

(01:30):
it I will tray as far asme being a gen exper post pandemic,
pre pandemic, it was still hard. So I can only imagine with inflation
now, how things have got toincrease even more. You have to have
some type of side hustle something.Whether you're selling avon, whether you went

(01:52):
you sugar daddy, whether you withsomething, you gotta have some kind of
side hustle to be able to payyour bills just to live. And even
if you don't get a side hustle, you're gonna have to either move in
with somebody just to make it,just to eat. It's absolutely ridiculous.
I don't care what age you are. You can be eighteen coming out of

(02:14):
college. You can be thirty,you can be fifty, you can be
seventy going into retirement, because whatyour retirement's gonna give you from when you
first started working, it may notbe enough for you to live right now
in present day. It's awful.Juya ooh, Patty, this was so
layered and loaded, Like I'm onmy ar lean, I don't even know

(02:37):
where to start. I will tackleoff of going off of what Arlene said
though, that people are just againthis inflation. It was bad before the
pandemic, and it's even worse now. A lot of these kids, especially
like these gen Zers. It's sadbecause most of these people, you know,

(02:57):
you go to school and then theopportunity is to live this you know,
American dream that they have sold usall these years, where I go
to school and the profession that Iwant and I'm going to be good.
I'm going to be making six figuresand it's going to be amazing. Well,
that is not the way of theworld right now, and you are
correct. Unfortunately, we are ina state now if you do not have

(03:20):
a side hustle, you just willnot survive out here. But to fold
to that, it's sad because youhave a lot of these great, like
big companies out here who will loveto say, you know, the best,
the best, the best, butyou are not paying your employees a
livable wage and then have that expectationfor them to be there and available upon

(03:40):
your whim. That is not thecase anymore. The market doesn't hold that
up anymore. And it's sad becauseif you are working in corporate America,
there is no reason that you shouldhave to have a side hustle when you
think about the revenue that this countrybrings in. So it's just it's overall

(04:00):
that you tack it on top ofthe people who just you knew they don't
have that option anymore to really walkin their purpose into what you said,
Patty, A lot of people youget older and you regret the choices that
you made. And now, atthe end of the day, those are
your choices. You can't be madat anybody but yourself. But guess what.
Today is always a new day,so you can start today to prepare

(04:21):
for a better future for yourself.But don't be sitting there. Well was
me. I'm so mad, madat yourself because of the choices that you
made. Do not project us intothe world. Author Kim Reid is joining
us the podcast Patty and the Millennials. Kim, what do you think most
Americans are unhappy? I think especiallyfor younger people the couse of living.

(04:46):
It could hit older adults too,especially if you have children. But for
kids getting out here facing the world, Oh my gosh, how are they
make I feel? From any Idon't know, middle aged people, baby
boomers, they're just not happy becauseof decisions that they made. You got

(05:08):
look in the mirror, you madethese decisions. This is why you're at
where you're at. Your thoughts.Yeah, you hit it, You hit
it on the head. You really, you really did, Patty. It's
it's our it's our decision, youknow, it's our it's our decision making.

(05:31):
Is you know that that really dictates? You know that that that that's
hurts the course of your life,right, A lot of times that you
know, I think the people areare unhappy because of the choices they made,
you know, in their twenties andin their thirties. And you know,

(05:54):
for younger people, I think thatthey won't realize what the impact of
their bad decisions until they're in theirthirties, you know, their thirties,
forties, fifties. And I thinkfor you know, going back to you
know, the folks in their fortiesand fifties, I think that you know,

(06:15):
you don't think right. You know, I made some terrible decisions in
my twenties because I was in mytwenties, I had no wisdom, right,
I had no I didn't understand thefoundation of my life is wealth,
and the foundation of my life thatI built is wealth. And you know,
you don't know all of those thingsright because you're really just kind of
walking through life and learning. ButI also believe people are unhappy because they're

(06:40):
looking for some form of hope.And right now in where we are,
you know, we came out ofa global pandemic. We are in the
worst political climate you know, thatwe have seen in probably in our lifetime.
Kim, you are so right,we are in a very bad political

(07:01):
climate. Yes, people are afraid. People are afraid. We were talking
about this this morning because of what'shappening with diversity. You know, these
these schools are disbanding it, andyou know, the colleges are eliminating it,
and you know, court Starbucks justtook it off the table for executive

(07:26):
compensation because executive compensation was connected tohow well that these executives do in diversity
and you know, holding the businessesaccountable, and they took it up the
table. So going forward, itwill no longer be connected to their executive
comps. So if they're if they'reshitty and diversity, it's not going to
impact their billion their million dollar salariesanymore. And so that's it's a problem.

(07:49):
Patty, it's we are it's it'sa terrible problem, and and Trump
gets in office, it is goingto be fifty thousand times worse. So,
you know, we it's you know, we we are in some very
tumultuous times right now. We justyou know, but you know, will
it get better? You know,yeah, but we have to do a

(08:11):
lot of work before that happens.Why are many Americans unhappy? We've got
DESI Neil does he Why do youthink, because I definitely have my opinions
on this, the majority of Americansare unhappy. Now. I think sometimes

(08:33):
you're going to make yourself happy.You're going to have the mindset I'm going
to have a great day. Butyou know some people don't think like that.
Why do you think most Americans areunhappy? Because it's different when you're
younger and different when you're older.I got two different answers for that.
My first answer is that I believethat we stopped doing what we were intended

(08:58):
to do. I feel like peoplegave up on what they were supposed to
be and shifted their dreams because ofcomparison, which leads right into the second
answer, which is we're putting toomuch of our happiness in the hands of
other people. People are dictating toomuch of our future, so we don't
even know how to find happiness.And if we're honest, happiness isn't the

(09:20):
goal, Auntie, Joy is thegoal, because happiness is based on what's
happening in your life. But joycomes from a place where even where all
hell is breaking loose, you stillcan smile, you still can laugh,
you still can find that place togive God thanks. So I think those
are the two reasons. I thinkfor young people, the cost of living
adult thing is hard. You wishyou could go back to somebody was paying

(09:46):
yourself o bill. You wish youdidn't have to deal with just the cost
of groceries. You know, youhear young people, well, I can't
wait to be grown. I wantto be grown. Job you're gonna wish
you is in a child's place,because being grown is hard. It does,

(10:09):
it does. It's like adulting isjust a very hard thing to do.
And I think with older people,I think it's the choices that they've
made in their lives. If youhave smoked all your life, and that
took care of yourself all your life, when you get older, you can't
get angry because you have something thatyou don't want, or you're sick,

(10:35):
and you think about you could havechanged the course of your life if you
had not just kept with bad habitsall day long, every day. Popular
blogger Whitney Roberts is joining us.We got sex Doctor Heather. She's a
real sexologist. This is the podcastconversation Patty and the Millennials and Ladies.

(10:58):
I've read this article and it's saidthat most Americans are unhappy. So I
started thinking, why, you know, life isn't perfect obviously. I think
for young people, all those whosaid I can't wait till I'm grown,

(11:18):
they're finding out that grown is costlyright. They wish they were kids again.
And for older people, the choicesthat they make. And I guess
for most people, in doctor Heather'swords, they're not having enough sex.
So Doc, I'm going to startwith you and they not Penny. I

(11:41):
mean, y'all both know y'all heardabout the generation who is not having sex
that's coming up, right. They'drather be by themselves. Who are they?
You know? Who are they?They're this twenty in their early twenties,
early late teens, I should say, in early twenties, they are
withholding, meaning choosing not to havesex. Is that generation? Why?

(12:07):
Yeah? Yes? And you knowwhat, they're also the generation that are
having cohabitation before they get into committedmonogamous relationships, which to me is so
confusing. I don't understand. Butyou know what, a lot of people
come to me around happiness. Youknow, they think people got to give

(12:30):
them happiness. I think that shouldbe a class in school, just like
I think love should be a classin school. Like we got the wrong
stuff. We're teaching the wrong stuffin school. Okay, we just need
to teach basic life skills, notall the things that we're teaching, because
it doesn't equal a happy People aren'thappy, you know, they're not happy
at work, they're not happy athome, and they think you're supposed to

(12:50):
give them happiness when happiness comes within. But when you talk about our community,
the black community, right, whendo we have time to think about
this stuff? Like we're so busydoing all the things that we don't really
get time for self care. Andpart of self care is to think about
you intentionally, think about what youlike, what you don't like. Y'all.

(13:11):
When people come to me and theyI ask them these simple questions.
I say, what do you enjoydoing? What does self care feel like
to you? What do you liketo do? What don't you like to
do? They looking at me likeI'm crazy because they don't have an answer
to any of these questions. Canyou imagine not having the time in your
life to sit down and think aboutthis stuff? How do you want to
think about what you like in thebed if you don't know what you like
outside the bed? Whitney, listen, I am as shake my tambourine for

(13:41):
doc over there, because she saidall of the things. But in a
general sense, I can see whypeople are unhappy, Like I'm looking at
the cost of groceries, the costof housing, the cost of child care,
the cost to breathe air outside.It's expensive out here, and it
doesn't make you feel like you know, a lot of us, particularly in

(14:01):
my generation, we were sold thisstory that you know, you go to
college and then you get a goodjob, and you get to place,
and then you get married, andthen you get the bigger place, and
then you get the promotion, andit looks like all of these things and
then you know, when I graduated, there was a recession, and then
it was just like it kept beingthing after thing after thing after thing.

(14:22):
Like right now we're experiencing a housingcrisis in the middle of massive inflation,
and it's just like people are justso disillusioned. But I feel like it's
a combination of a lot of differentreasons why people are unhappy. And I
can see I can see why.I can I can really see why.
M interesting perspective, But they saythat many Americans are very unhappy. Why

(14:50):
are Americans unhappy? For some kids, children, young adults, life.
It's hard. You spent all thistime fantasizing about being grown, and you
see that grown has these what arethe things that that ac Manhattan Spider Man

(15:13):
all these centacals right bills and can'tafford this, And they can't afford that.
A lot comes to being grown.For many people, maybe middle aged
up, they have not made goodchoices in their lives, just absolutely,
but they're unhappy and they put thaton others. We've got Dexter who puts

(15:33):
everything together for the podcast. Yourthoughts, what do you think people aren't
happy? Well, let me behonest with you, Patty. I've done
a lot of thinking about this.People there's a lot to be unhappy about.
I mean, if you think aboutit, if you if you like
music, Beyonce, Megan, theStallion, Usher, Chris Brown, they're

(15:54):
all going on tour. We don'teven have money to afford these kinds of
tours, and everybody mom is goingon the tour. That's one reason why
we're unhappy. We need raises atwork. That's the second reason why we're
unhappy. We're still dealing with pandemicfatigue. I went to a restaurant the
other day and they told me Ihave to pay a pandemic. See why
are we still paying pandemic? See? Yes? And then also they're stealing

(16:17):
packages and they're still in Amazon packages. That's the reason why we're upset.
And lastly, and most importantly,we're not having enough sex. Like that
is the reason why people are upsetin America today. Doctor Heather said the
same thing. She's right, sheknows what time it is. And then
you know, you know what elsethey said that Chick fil A they're gonna
start giving us fake meat, likefake chicken or whatever. The world is

(16:41):
crazy right now? Wow, Wellthey lost me with that one. With
the Chick Fila, I don't.I don't want I don't want fake meat.
But you think of boils down andpeople are not having enough sex?
Is it the making time or you'retired? I mean you tire because like
I said, you had all theconcerts and then you work in two or

(17:02):
three jobs just to afford to goto the concert, and then you've eaten
his meat with the antibiotics center,so you don't have the energy anymore.
So then you can't have sex,and you get up and you go to
a job you don't like. Like, life is hard for all of us.
Now, Lexi is joining us.She's a doula. She's all about
maternal health. Lexi. Today we'retalking about why Americans are unhappy. Now,

(17:26):
not everybody, but you got youngerpeople. Life is life, and
it's hard because they spent all thistime dreaming about being grown. Well,
they didn't know that being grown camewith bills for the dods. It's like

(17:47):
whoa, there are bills and thosehills for older people. They just have
not made good life changes or madegood of their life, and they're regretting
that they're in this health state,that they're in this job state. They
can never get ahead. If you'refifty and you still paying job support,

(18:11):
chill, I'm talking about you juststarting. Huh. Life is hard.
We have a terrible political climate.Horrible, horrible. Why do you think
most Americans are unhappy? You knowwhat? I think all of the things
that you mentioned, and not havingrealistic expectations set for ourselves and really allow

(18:37):
and not being able to understand theimportance of a strong emotional intelligence being centered
in your faith. I know someonementioned to me the other day because there's
been some life shifts that have happenedfor me pretty significantly, and they were
like, I don't understand how youjust are able to stay calm, Like
even when my mom passed, peoplewere like, well, I don't understand.
I said, it's not that,it's not a matter of not caring.

(19:00):
You just got to understand that lifebe lifeing, as they say,
and things that happened, and they'regoing to affect you in stages. So
I feel like the stages of griefreally do apply to any type of lost
traumatic experience that one may go through. And I think oftentimes for us as
Americans, we don't fully vest ourselvesin personal development spiritual development, So when

(19:26):
things happen. Our whole world isshaken upside down, but it can't stay
that way. It's okay to bedisrupted and impacted in some way when something
happens, like even when you thinkabout some of the devastations that have happened
over the past few days, right, lives being lost and structural things breaking
down where you don't expect them to. But that can't disrupt you to a

(19:49):
point where you can't function or youlose hope. And so for me,
it's centering in in my face,and I feel like that's what the Lord
is honestly trying to tell us.It's like, you have no control in
this world, so you need tolean into me so that I can make
sure that you're good as you gothrough. Do you feel it's necessary that
most people have to have like aside gig or a hustle going on just

(20:11):
to survive. I remember reading thearticle. It's probably about two or three,
no, it's before the pandemic,but it said we are living in
a generation now where just to makeends meet, right, so just to
be comfortable and live, you musthave at least three streams of income at
least, so for most people that'slike their primary and so that's why you

(20:33):
also see so many employed entrepreneurs.So from COVID, we saw a boost
in entrepreneurship, especially for black women. And that's what it is, is
that you've had this time to recognizesome of the other talents Guy has given
you. And it makes sense.It aligns biblically too, right, Like
when you read the story about thetalents that we're given. Some have multiple

(20:55):
and they use those to make more. And I think that's what we have
to do from an economic perspective becauseof where things are with the economy,
and just based on the fact thatwe are able to use these gifts to
bring forth fruit for ourselves in multipleways. This is the podcast conversation Patty

(21:15):
and the Millennials some Patty Jackson.Dasia is joining us and she represents the
younger set of our millennials. Iwas reading the survey. It said that
most Americans are unhappy from a youngerperspective. I see it because adulting is
hard. You know, you gotto add several gigs just to make up

(21:38):
the one. Your thoughts, whydo you think a lot of Americans are
unhappy? Oh? Yeah, definitely. In the younger because we're trying to
figure it out. We just don'tknow, and there's like there's no bootprint
and we're told to go to schooland get a degree and then have this
job, and then we do thatstuff and it really doesn't help us get
the job or make the money thatwe need, and it's just like Okay,
then we have the Internet, andit's hard to look at everyone else

(22:00):
your same age living a life andyou're like, well, how are they
afforded to do all this stuff?And I can't even like make it through
the week. So I think thatit's just the having the rules of society
that you felt like you had togo by and then life changing and that
no longer being the blueprint that weshould go by, and they're trying to
figure it all out from here andI feel like we're making the new blueprint

(22:21):
and no one knows how to figurethat out. But when it comes down
to being older, is just becauselife has changed and again there's this new
blueprint that we have to go by, and it's like it doesn't exist to
see. Well, you know,you made a very good point. You
think you're doing the right thing.I'm going to go to school. I'm
going to graduate, but you gotto find a job, and you got

(22:44):
to find something so you can makemoney to live. And I really they'll
give you money based off experience.And then we don't have experience. It
doesn't have a degree right now.And that's when you're you got to have
You just have a good attitude.You gonna have all the degrees you want.
But if you're a nasty person,hard to get along with, that
will hinder you from getting a job. That's true. Uncle Oh is joining

(23:11):
us the podcast Conversation Patty and theMillennials, and I couldn't wait to hear
his opinion. I've read in arecent survey that most Americans are unhappy.
Why you asked, you could beolder and you're just mad about the decisions
that you've made in your life.You could be younger, just getting out

(23:32):
in the world. You couldn't waitto be grown, but you did not
know that behind grown was a bunchof bills. Because life, because life
be liken like life be life.And why do you think most Americans are
unhappy? I think most Americans aren'thappy because they're watching and social media has

(23:56):
got people thinking that you have tolive a certain type of way, and
if you aren't living that way,that you aren't living and that has got
people faking what they do and theyaren't happy because they're pretending to be something
that they're not, trying to fitthe facade of what's out here. Do

(24:19):
you think that for young people whoare like, I'm gonna go to the
college and I'm going to get thejob, and then you see you're not
making the kind of money so thatyou can live or have fun or go
to concerts because there's bills and responsibilities. Do you think that a lot of

(24:40):
young people are just in for ashock or that being grown ain't what it's
so made out to be. Arethey? You know, before you turn
eighteen and your parents are get onyour nerves, you think you're just gonna
go out here and live it up, and oh, I can't wait to
be grown. And then they getout here and realize that, oh,

(25:00):
it's much tougher than what you thought. And rent now is three thousand dollars
for an apartment that used to befifteen hundred or a house that used to
be fifteen hundred a month is nowthree thousand dollars a month. Because the
price is double. Yeah, theyin for a rude awakening. I think
that's what's making people unhappy because they'renot making any and they owe certain amount

(25:22):
of money from going to school.So now you're in debt and you don't
have the type of job you want. How about our political climate. I
mean, people are definitely unhappy withthat, and it's terrible because they're making
the wrong decisions. They're voting forthe wrong people. People think the election
of a president is what when theelection of your state representatives and those off

(25:48):
years, so the two years afterthe president's been elected is what really matters,
and people seem to forget that.I was very surprised at I think
a lot of middle aged people arejust unhappy with the choices that they've made
in their lives. So they're stillunhappy and they can never seem to catch

(26:11):
a break because of the mistakes thatthey made when they were younger. You
know, is strangling some people.Yeah, well that's why you got to
make a couple of choices, okay, in the same motion, and you
have to be careful about who you'redating when it comes to that, right,

(26:33):
So say it again, Say itagain for the people in the back.
You have to be careful about whoyou're dating people. Are you know
what the problem is. People aredating their pleasures and not dating what's proper.
So when you date your pleasure,you end up with the baby mama
or the baby father that didn't careabout you in the first place, instead

(26:57):
of dating what's proper and finding theright person and taking your time on that.
Speaking of children, I am shockedat the cost of daycare. Oh
my gosh, it costs a lotto send your kids to daycare. I
remember my little girl was only goingtwice a week and it cost us thirteen

(27:19):
hundred dollars a month when she wasin daycare. I don't know what it's
like now. And that was justbaby girls ten. That was just seven
years ago. Well mine was twentytwo years ago. And I am in
shock at these prices. And allI can think of who can afford this?

(27:41):
Like for real, it surely ain'tme. So I don't know.
I don't know where all this moneycoming from. That's why I'm not having
no more babies. I have done. I need to sit my old behind
down. Oh go, thank youso much. Why are Americans unhappy?
There are varied reasons why, anda lot of times you gotta find happiness

(28:04):
within yourself, and you darn surecan't look for someone else to keep up
with your happiness. This is thepodcast conversation Patty and the Millennials. Find
us where we live and I wantto hear from you. I want to
know your thoughts, so please leaveyour comments SoundCloud, Spotify, Pandora,

(28:25):
Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio podcasts. Conversationis important no matter what you talk about.
This is the podcast Patty and theMillennials.