January 3, 2025 • 29 mins
Guillermo Santos is a human rights advocate, poet and author originally from Kensington in Philadelphia. He shares his story through his literary work. Connect with Guillermo Santos:
🌐 Website: guillermoasantos.com
📱 Instagram: @guillermoasantos
🌐 Website: guillermoasantos.com
📱 Instagram: @guillermoasantos
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning. You're listening to Insight, a show about empowering
our community. I'm Lorraine Baller. Tomorrow today we share a
powerful interview originally broadcast on our sister station Rumba one
O six 'y one, hosted by Gilberto Gonzalez. It's with
a young poet, Guillermo Santos, whose work reflects the resilience
and heartache of life in the Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
So, Guillermo, you wrote this article for NPR in February
of this year.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
First, when I read the article, it touched my heart song.
You know, it's like, oh my god, this like cause
I live in Kensington too. I live, I live, but
I live further like around our square. What motivated you
Gettivo to write this article?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I what couldn't have motivated me. I was so proud
that this is like one of the big things that
I could really put out into the world, because I
felt like something that has been brewing inside of me,
like since day one. You know, I am from Kensington,
It's where my mom still lives, which I mentioned in
the article. But then also just seeing like the larger
(01:11):
like issue of gentrification that has always been expanding in
that area and how that ties to a lot of
the things that the article addresses, like the opioid epidemic,
which Kensington is the worst place in the world for it,
and then the gentrification stuff that has created this like
further divide where people know about the issue and then
are doing everything they can to pretend it's not there,
(01:34):
which has just been so maddening. Right. A lot of
like the stuff in the article is originally addressed to
experiences that I had even back in like middle school,
like as a child of just like knowing that there
is a fundamental difference between me and my peers because
of this like horrific system that's been in place.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, and again, like just going through the article, you
grew up and were you born? You have lived in
Kensington all your life?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Yeah, I was born in Jefferson Hospital, so Bill Birds.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
So so you've seen like in Kensington and I've seen
it too that you know, twenty years ago. I don't
know how, I don't know what your age is, but
twenty thirty years ago, we were poor, but we didn't
have this craziness with this epidemic. But you've seen it firsthand. Yeah,
and I think one of the things that like really
(02:32):
kind of impacted me about the article and is that
you really bring to the surface, because right there's a
lot of people doing work in Kensington to help the
people in addiction. But do you think they.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Forget about us?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
They forget about you, they forget about your mom, they
forget about the people that have been there.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Well, because like I'm only twenty two and I was
talking to somebody about this recently, how they similar what
you were saying about, Like they've seen like that shift.
I've only lived in the world with like the aftermath
of all of that, Right, I Like, growing up it
was like a known thing that I could not play
(03:13):
outside because like there were syringes everywhere, or like you know,
you could just like get gunned down if you're on
the wrong corner at the wrong time. And I feel
like the issue of gentrification comes more into talk when
we're discussing like just the people who live in Kensington,
regardless of if they like are addicted to anything or not,
(03:36):
because like you know, you have like Temple Town that's
constantly expanding out and like pushing more people away and
then creating that larger divide between North Philly and the
rest of the city, which is so like, you know,
planned redlining has been such an issue that has been
so like clearly shown in like just how Philadelphia was created,
(03:58):
and seeing that branch out to other sex of not
only the city but the state has just been so
devastating to be very like aware of and then in
turn seeing people who are blisfully ignorant.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, because I'm originally you know, I'm a lot older.
I'm originally from the original barrio for Puerto Ricans, which
is spring Garden. And again, like we had what they
called the crack epidemic, and there is a difference, and
we can talk about it too. There is a difference
between the crack epidemic, right because they used to call
our people crackheads and all this negative stuff, and then
(04:34):
for Kensington they're called people in an addiction, you know,
they use all these really much nicer words. Yeah, but
what's happening in Kensington and I see the gentrification like
where I live right now, their houses selling for like
a million dollars.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Insane in Kensington. That's insane, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, But it started the same way in spring Garden,
which was the largest Puerto Rican c community for like,
you know, forty fifty six, almost one hundred years of
Puerto Rican s spring garden and then when the crack
epidemic hit, it's devastating the neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, and you could see.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
The same thing in Kensington. Kensington has just been devastated.
And it's interesting that you bring up the gentrification because
I think it shows that that it's it's kind of
like on purpose, right, they let our communities kind of fall,
and then they're like, and I hate the word on
what do they call those those folks urban pioneers? Yeah,
(05:37):
all right, it's like, Yo, we're here already, man, what
are you pioneering?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Hey, that's what Columbus did. You know? We already have
people that I feel like, especially in Philadelphia. It's something
that I discussed in the article of just like you
know because a lot of the article references Heroin chic Right.
You know, my father was a Heroin addict and that
was like the largest amount of like stuff that I
(06:04):
saw growing up, right, Like, it's devastating that a kid
has to be like, oh, I know that smell. I
can't go down like this block because like they're crackhouses everywhere.
I grew up living next to one. Uh. And so
it's one of those things where taking like similar way
you're saying about how they want what we've created. They
(06:28):
want like the culture, they want the neighborhoods, they want
that community, but they don't want us there right there.
It's always, you know, things are trashy, things, things are
for crackheads. Things are bad until white people are like,
actually we think it's cool, and now we're going to
do it and we're going to take the spot.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah yeah, Oh my god, you hit it right on
the nose because it's it's like and in the article
you talk about that juxtaposition between you had white friends
that you invited to Tom a little bit about that party.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Oh yeah, so I you know, this is I want
to say, back like like late middle school early high
school time, I like I was trying to like be
a part of like the community in Philadelphia. I was
a teenager who was trying to go on out and
(07:21):
like have fun, make friends, be involved in art. And
that ended up going to a lot of the like
you know, the independent music scene in Philly, which is
a beautiful and incredible thing that I'm so honored that
I got to be a part of. But then you
meet a lot of people there who are I think
the term that a lot of people have been saying
recently that I really enjoyed are people who cause play
(07:42):
is poor, because like you know, you'd go out to
like Center City and then it's people there who are
wearing like all this like dirty drifted clothes and they're
like going crazy talking about how like disenfranchised they are,
and then they go back to their parents' mansion after
the concert. I knew a few of those people, and
(08:08):
you know, childhood just desperately wants to be accepted by
like the cool kids. I they were looking for a
place to host a party, and I was like, oh,
I have my house, right, It's like an actual house,
pretty nice for like what we can afford, Like let
(08:31):
me host like a big thing here. And everybody was
super game. Everybody loved the idea. But then the day
came to actually come down to it, and it was
such like a clear divide. Only the other like minorities came.
All of the white people were too scared and they
fully articulate like, oh, we didn't know you lived in Kensington,
(08:52):
Like we all agreed we were all going to do this,
but then like, we're not going to do that. And
I understand, right, it can be like difficult area when
you are viewing people as like not people and instead
like the zombies that we see on social media and
the things that people constantly try to reduce them to.
So I would like walk some of like the girls
(09:15):
that came like from the train station the half block
to my apartment in case they were nervous. But then
all of the white kids just instead had their own
party in like Center City. They posted a ton of
pictures and they all commented that it was my party,
which out like the biggest slap in the face, proving
(09:37):
what we've been saying about that they want like to
seem with that level of inclusivity. They want to feel
like they understand what all of these like protest songs
are about without having to ever actually deal with the
stuff that people are fighting against.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, I'm so glad that you said that, because that's
one thing that I think the progressive side of the
people that don't live here but want to work and
contribute to Kensington, they talk a great game, right, They
talk about harm reduction, you know, needle exchange and they
(10:16):
talk about, you know, treating people with dignity, But then
when it comes to like us, like the people that
live there, I think, do you think they again, did
they forget about treating us with dignity?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yeah? I feel like it's it's an issue that goes
the whole way down the line because like those same
kids who were like scared to come to my neighborhood,
now that the Airbria has been christened by this like
cool or at least like outsider cool, are going to
like raver warehouses and like dressing up like addicts and
(10:58):
doing maybe more dry because than them on the dance
floor because it's been like accepted or not even accepted,
but just like gotten to that point. It would like
counterculture where it's just like, oh now it's cool to
associate with these people that last year we all like detested.
(11:18):
And I feel like how that relates to Kensington regardless
of like if you have an addiction or any history
with that, because it is just like a poor neighborhood.
I know so many people back there who are just
here because they can't afford anywhere else, because how can
you afford anywhere nowadays? A right, and like I it
(11:39):
was really sad as a kid, I wasn't allowed to
play outside, which was the smart move. If it wasn't
for like the addicts, it would be like a cop
would come and harass me just because I'm not supposed
to be here when I live across the street. And
so I feel like it becomes this like larger thing
to address and just discuss. In regards to the yes
(12:03):
like we, I think it's important to change our language.
I think it's better to treat people with respect and
to not use some of the like disenfranchising terms, like
I hated people talking about like how their friends were
such crackheads growing up, and it's like, you don't know
what a crackhead is, Like what are you talking about?
But I also think it's important to actually put intention
(12:25):
into our actions just as much as our words. I
feel like it's very easy to police language because you
can do that while sitting down and doing nothing else.
But then if you are actually like out there and
engaging with people and putting in the correct policies and
communicating with people to see what works and what doesn't,
that takes more effort, and that's what people are more
(12:47):
scared of.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
What do you think should happen in Kensington? Do you
like some of the stuff that Katsi's doing, Do you
think any of that what's going to impact? And also again,
what do you think.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
I think that there are at least in my experiences
in regards to like having a father who was addicted
and constantly in and out of programs and like whittling
away from AIDS and understanding that like a big thing
that he had to go through was that, like you know,
(13:22):
just say no is nonsense, right, An addiction is an addiction.
I feel like with my father, his use of opioids
and heroin particularly was almost like a pleasurable form of
suicide for him because he was just like he had
nowhere to go. He was out in the streets, He
couldn't get a job because people knew he had this,
(13:44):
and he kept going back to it because he was like,
there's nothing else in my life and everything is so hard.
At least this thing makes me feel good, even if
it is killing me. And I feel like that's a
really devastating truth that a lot of people like on
the streets of kensingson if you actually, like, stop being
afraid of them and sit down and talk to them,
(14:05):
really relate and resonate with because there is that like
palpable despair the second you get off of like the market,
frankfort Line. You know, I think there's a lot of
benefits to like clinics that would allow like more people
to come in and like get help, but those are
(14:29):
always profoundly underfunded. And like there was one like by
my house growing up, and I literally never once saw
it was open. So it's just like who is that helping? Then?
You know? I I feel like what's important is making
sure that there are like faculties that allow people to
(14:54):
do what they need to do with the people that
they need to do with in self a safe and
healthy environment, right, because like, if you are going to
be doing this thing, like at the very least, I
think it's good for people to like get therapy and
then get into programs that'll slowly beading them off of
(15:15):
it instead of just like dying in the streets. I
would personally much prefer somebody to be there to resuscitate.
You know, I have knockan on me at all times,
even though I'm not in those scenarios anymore, just because
I can't imagine, like, especially with a fentanyl crisis, like
what happened to my father having to happen to anyone again.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Wow, wow, thank you for sharing that about your dad.
So did and I think you mentioned in the article
he passed away of an overdose.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yes, he had an overdose and there was a lethal
amount of fentanyl in it and he was taken from
us a few years back.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
You know, it's just so amazing and I think just
wonderful that that that growing up in that environment and
you have still have all this empathy for people in addiction,
right because sometimes you know, people get upset, like like
we had a crew from Italy. Uh, they answered the
call of a mother here in the United States that
(16:17):
was looking for her son in Kensington. Well, we did
find him and his message to his mother was leave
me alone. I don't want to be found, you know.
And and the Italian reporters were like, yeah, fentanyl is
making its way into Europe and it's devastating, starting to
(16:38):
devastate neighborhoods in Italy. But we've been living it.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
For Kensington has been devastated.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah, yeah, and you know what, like I my son,
I don't know if you went to Comwall Middle School?
Did you go to Conwall Middle School?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I went to mastermin For Middle School.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
So Masterman is on Frankfort right.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Right across the street from CCP.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Oh my god, yes, I'm sorry, I thought it was
I got confuse. Yeah, yeah, so you went to Yeah
you went to a really good school. So those friends
would not come up to Kensington.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Yeah, dead on and there was like no good transit.
So some days I would walk like an hour straight
line up fifteenth heading towards spring Garden just to go
to school and back every day because you know, the trains,
especially the buses will sometimes stop going like to Kensington
(17:34):
when they see like, oh coming up. I had a
lot I remember when uber like first became a thing,
getting like paying for the ride. Like I would come up,
then he'd see it was going to Kensington and be
like no and then drive off. Really yeah that was rough. Wow.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Wow, that's that's what it's truth.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
It is so true.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
So like, so tell me a little bit about you,
Like you're you're in college now, who do you go to,
Like what is in the future for you? And do
you continue do you plan on your continue to do
your advocacy work.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Oh, of course it's impossible for me not to. My
mother is an activist, so I've always grown up in
that world, and even outside of the things that I
personally have experienced, I think like it's so foreign to
me to be able to look at like this world
and all of the atrocities that are happening in it
and not wanted to do something because of all of
the beauty in this world and all the great things
(18:31):
I'm being able to share with the people that I love.
I currently am not in college. I after like having
to graduate during COVID, I knew that I wanted to
be a writer professionally, and so I took a chance
and gap year, went out to try to live in
(18:52):
New York and immediately got published by NPR. And that's
where I'm calling you from now. Yeah, so I feel
pretty good. I feel like a lot of like writing
colleges kind of just teach you how to network. And
then I was like, why don't I just do the
work and go network myself for a year, see how
far I can make it, and then if I like
(19:13):
really blow it, then I will go and apply to
like Temple or something. But then I don't want to
drink it, knock on wood. But I'm doing pretty well. Cool.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So you're in New York right now?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yes, yes, I am. Wow.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
That's amazing man, And so like what other than I
know you do a lot of advocacy work, and what
inspired you to start writing? Like what made you use
this tool?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Oh, I've always adored like language. Well, I can give
you a two part answer, one that I think ties
directly to what we've been discussing, and then another that's
more like waxing poetic. But when I was a kid, right,
I'm Puerto Rican, and sadly, I feel like a lot
(20:02):
of other Puerto Ricans can relate to this. I do
not know as much Spanish as I wish I did.
I know enough to make white people think I'm fluent,
but not enough to like really hold my own. And
that's because when I was a kid, right, my father
is Puerto Rican. My mother is Native American, and so
she also knew a bit, but she made an active
(20:24):
point to not teach me when I was younger because
of how heavily policed to my own neighborhood was, and
she was horrified of the idea of me not being
able to talk my way out of the situation, and
it's devastating, but there are a lot of times growing
up where if I was not as eloquent as I am,
I would not be here, and so it's devastating. But
(20:45):
I do think that is a bit of where my
love of the English language comes from. And the more
wax and poetic side of it is that I think that, like,
you know, there's that James Baldwin quote about how you
think that you experienced this thing for the very first time,
and then you read a book from the eighteen hundreds
and you're like, oh, someone else has already felt this
(21:07):
exact same way. I think there's something really nice about
the fact that, you know, for lack of a better term,
we all have the same language, right lingua franca, where
you know, I read a book and I'm like, oh,
I already know all of these words. Someone just put
them in the right order. That makes me feel something
that is so e theorial to me, the idea that like,
(21:30):
I can read something for the first time and be
like I never thought to put it like this, and
now it has so much weight and power to make.
So to answer your question, before I moved here with
the aspiration of trying to write a novel in the
next few years, and I've been able to really take
some stripes out in the New York livery scene. I've
(21:52):
been thanked in a few novels already, which has been
really fulfilling, and I've been doing like editorial work and
assisting and putting on like those events. But I also
desperately want to make sure that I can get out
some more of my essays and non fiction pieces, especially
ones that will discuss and address these issues that I
(22:13):
think really need to be dealt with.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Is there anything you want to like, read and share
with us right now?
Speaker 3 (22:18):
I have a poem about my father that I presented
a little bit ago at the Poet's House in Manhattan.
But it's called so your dad killed himself? Now what?
Because of Like when I was originally writing the NPR article,
I did put what I was saying before about his
(22:39):
addiction as like a pleasurable form of suicide, and that
got a lot of resonance, Like the editor highlighted it
and was like, this completely changes how I view the
Okrade epidemic. But then they cut it out from like
the final piece. But I wrote what I wish I
could have read in all of those like hospit waiting
(23:00):
rooms or like therapy offices growing up waiting to like
try to have like an interaction and encounter with him.
Let me pull up.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, I think your father's probably a little bit younger
than me. But but us Latinos as we grow up.
And I didn't know this either when I was young,
but you know, we're kind of like on a death wish.
It's like we don't fear stuff and that we should fear.
And you know, don't sayrimeto without thinking. You know that, well,
(23:33):
I can't say the word actually beltmo de blank primeto,
and you know, cause I just to be honest transparency.
I I also had an an episode why why I overdosed?
And you know, thank God that I survived it, and
and that happened in my young age. That was enough
(23:53):
to just like one of the things that kind of
woke me up from this. You in North Philly and Kensington,
when you're raised there, it's like you're in this vacuum. Yeah,
you don't see anything beyond El Barrio.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Oh one hundred percent. A big party that I talked
about in the article was seeing like because I grew
up during like the rehab era of celebrities, right, I
saw people like also especially with heroin cheek, like glamorizing
this like you know, sallow and like sunken look. And
then I was like, this is what I look like,
(24:33):
But that's because we can't afford food. Like this is
not It's not the same, all right, But so your
dad killed himself? Now what? Cry? Cry and cry and
cry and cry and cry. Cry in a way you
(24:56):
never thought possible. Cry like a damn has burst behind
you eyes. Cry like Niagara Falls has got nothing on you.
Cry enough to drain all the water between here and
the island to form an isthmus that his parents can
walk across, so that they can come to the funeral.
Cry into here, dehydrated. Hold your mother. Cry into her
shoulder as she collapses above you. Feel the weight of
(25:18):
her sympathy and regrets and remorse and tears flatten your hair,
feel her hand try to grasp as much as you
as she can, and out of fear that you too
will go, Hear her apologize, Hear her wail, her hate
herself for weeping. Hear her think that she has lost
a lover, but you have lost a father, and hear
(25:39):
her apologize for it. Hear her say she's sorry, she's
so sorry, she's so sorry. See the faces at the funeral,
See the people you've never seen before. See them weep,
see them turn stolid at the sight of you. Watch
as they try to stay strong. Watches they feel the foolish,
(26:00):
Watch as they tell themselves how much worse it must
be for you. Hear that they have apparently heard of
you before. Do not hear what your father has said
about you, only that your existence was occasionally made known
here that you look like him, do not see it.
Feel your lover's touch. Wish she'd stop cutting yourself. Know
that all attics have their vices. Hooks nowhere, all addicted
(26:25):
to something. Sign the form for the cremator as an
of age next to Kim. Look at the man holding
the clipboard. See how his face doesn't change. See how
he doesn't understand why your hands shake on the page.
Hear his condolences, Listen to his sympathies towards everyone he
works with. Look in his eyes and see how he
(26:45):
does not know. Stare into the black screen of the
turned off television while your mother makes the plans for
his cremation. Look at the outline of your hair, stringy
and mild. Look at the bags under your eyes, hereditary
and enhance from a lack of sleep and over lubrication.
Look at your eyes, see nothing there. Stare into the
(27:05):
black orbs the TV has drawn into your face. Feel
the hollowness. Finally see the resemblance. Wow.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
That's wow, man, that's that's some. I don't have words
for it. Man, I just kind of want to feel.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
I feel.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
I feel it in my heart. Thank you, It's very powerful.
Thank you, and thank you, thank you so much for
sharing that. If people want to reach out to you
and get in contact with you, how can they do that.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
You can find me on Instagram at Guillermo A Santos,
or my website has the same url, Guillermo a Santos
dot com, which links to all of my writing on
NPR or some of my fiction and poetry. Uh. The
A is you know, my father was Kiermo Jose Santos uh,
(27:58):
And I feel like, especially when I'm able to write
stuff that talks about him, it's good to be able
to have that distinction and show that I am still
carrying on his name and a lot.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Of what he is there. Anything you want to say
to the folks back at home in Kensington.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Well, I I can't because that implies that I'm not
still talking to them every day. I carry them with me.
I make sure that, like the dream is to write
a book and get enough money that I can like
what I want to. I want to say, I want
to get my mom a place outside of there. But
as much as it is like a horrible place, she
(28:37):
loves it because of that community and because she has
been out there actively helping people since day one, and
I don't want to seal that from her. So really,
the only thing I can say back to all of Philly,
you know, the place that has always got to have
my heart no matter where I am in the world.
Go birds.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Guillermo Santos from can Brother, thank you so much. Man,
Please continue your work and your advocacy work for Kensington.
Man Gratoo.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
This interview who was originally broadcast on our sister station
Roomba one oh six y one, hosted by Gilberto Gonzalez.
You can listen to all of today's interviews by going
to our station website and typing in keyword community. You
can also listen on the iHeartRadio app yey Words Philadelphia
Community Podcast. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Lorraine Ballard.
(29:30):
I'm Lorraine Ballard Morrow and I stand for service to
our community and media that empowers. What will you stand for?
You've been listening to Insight and thank you
Good morning. You're listening to Insight, a show about empowering
our community. I'm Lorraine Baller. Tomorrow today we share a
powerful interview originally broadcast on our sister station Rumba one
O six 'y one, hosted by Gilberto Gonzalez. It's with
a young poet, Guillermo Santos, whose work reflects the resilience
and heartache of life in the Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
So, Guillermo, you wrote this article for NPR in February
of this year.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
First, when I read the article, it touched my heart song.
You know, it's like, oh my god, this like cause
I live in Kensington too. I live, I live, but
I live further like around our square. What motivated you
Gettivo to write this article?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I what couldn't have motivated me. I was so proud
that this is like one of the big things that
I could really put out into the world, because I
felt like something that has been brewing inside of me,
like since day one. You know, I am from Kensington,
It's where my mom still lives, which I mentioned in
the article. But then also just seeing like the larger
(01:11):
like issue of gentrification that has always been expanding in
that area and how that ties to a lot of
the things that the article addresses, like the opioid epidemic,
which Kensington is the worst place in the world for it,
and then the gentrification stuff that has created this like
further divide where people know about the issue and then
are doing everything they can to pretend it's not there,
(01:34):
which has just been so maddening. Right. A lot of
like the stuff in the article is originally addressed to
experiences that I had even back in like middle school,
like as a child of just like knowing that there
is a fundamental difference between me and my peers because
of this like horrific system that's been in place.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, and again, like just going through the article, you
grew up and were you born? You have lived in
Kensington all your life?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Yeah, I was born in Jefferson Hospital, so Bill Birds.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
So so you've seen like in Kensington and I've seen
it too that you know, twenty years ago. I don't
know how, I don't know what your age is, but
twenty thirty years ago, we were poor, but we didn't
have this craziness with this epidemic. But you've seen it firsthand. Yeah,
and I think one of the things that like really
(02:32):
kind of impacted me about the article and is that
you really bring to the surface, because right there's a
lot of people doing work in Kensington to help the
people in addiction. But do you think they.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Forget about us?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
They forget about you, they forget about your mom, they
forget about the people that have been there.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Well, because like I'm only twenty two and I was
talking to somebody about this recently, how they similar what
you were saying about, Like they've seen like that shift.
I've only lived in the world with like the aftermath
of all of that, Right, I Like, growing up it
was like a known thing that I could not play
(03:13):
outside because like there were syringes everywhere, or like you know,
you could just like get gunned down if you're on
the wrong corner at the wrong time. And I feel
like the issue of gentrification comes more into talk when
we're discussing like just the people who live in Kensington,
regardless of if they like are addicted to anything or not,
(03:36):
because like you know, you have like Temple Town that's
constantly expanding out and like pushing more people away and
then creating that larger divide between North Philly and the
rest of the city, which is so like, you know,
planned redlining has been such an issue that has been
so like clearly shown in like just how Philadelphia was created,
(03:58):
and seeing that branch out to other sex of not
only the city but the state has just been so
devastating to be very like aware of and then in
turn seeing people who are blisfully ignorant.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, because I'm originally you know, I'm a lot older.
I'm originally from the original barrio for Puerto Ricans, which
is spring Garden. And again, like we had what they
called the crack epidemic, and there is a difference, and
we can talk about it too. There is a difference
between the crack epidemic, right because they used to call
our people crackheads and all this negative stuff, and then
(04:34):
for Kensington they're called people in an addiction, you know,
they use all these really much nicer words. Yeah, but
what's happening in Kensington and I see the gentrification like
where I live right now, their houses selling for like
a million dollars.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Insane in Kensington. That's insane, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, But it started the same way in spring Garden,
which was the largest Puerto Rican c community for like,
you know, forty fifty six, almost one hundred years of
Puerto Rican s spring garden and then when the crack
epidemic hit, it's devastating the neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, and you could see.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
The same thing in Kensington. Kensington has just been devastated.
And it's interesting that you bring up the gentrification because
I think it shows that that it's it's kind of
like on purpose, right, they let our communities kind of fall,
and then they're like, and I hate the word on
what do they call those those folks urban pioneers? Yeah,
(05:37):
all right, it's like, Yo, we're here already, man, what
are you pioneering?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Hey, that's what Columbus did. You know? We already have
people that I feel like, especially in Philadelphia. It's something
that I discussed in the article of just like you
know because a lot of the article references Heroin chic Right.
You know, my father was a Heroin addict and that
was like the largest amount of like stuff that I
(06:04):
saw growing up, right, Like, it's devastating that a kid
has to be like, oh, I know that smell. I
can't go down like this block because like they're crackhouses everywhere.
I grew up living next to one. Uh. And so
it's one of those things where taking like similar way
you're saying about how they want what we've created. They
(06:28):
want like the culture, they want the neighborhoods, they want
that community, but they don't want us there right there.
It's always, you know, things are trashy, things, things are
for crackheads. Things are bad until white people are like,
actually we think it's cool, and now we're going to
do it and we're going to take the spot.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah yeah, Oh my god, you hit it right on
the nose because it's it's like and in the article
you talk about that juxtaposition between you had white friends
that you invited to Tom a little bit about that party.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Oh yeah, so I you know, this is I want
to say, back like like late middle school early high
school time, I like I was trying to like be
a part of like the community in Philadelphia. I was
a teenager who was trying to go on out and
(07:21):
like have fun, make friends, be involved in art. And
that ended up going to a lot of the like
you know, the independent music scene in Philly, which is
a beautiful and incredible thing that I'm so honored that
I got to be a part of. But then you
meet a lot of people there who are I think
the term that a lot of people have been saying
recently that I really enjoyed are people who cause play
(07:42):
is poor, because like you know, you'd go out to
like Center City and then it's people there who are
wearing like all this like dirty drifted clothes and they're
like going crazy talking about how like disenfranchised they are,
and then they go back to their parents' mansion after
the concert. I knew a few of those people, and
(08:08):
you know, childhood just desperately wants to be accepted by
like the cool kids. I they were looking for a
place to host a party, and I was like, oh,
I have my house, right, It's like an actual house,
pretty nice for like what we can afford, Like let
(08:31):
me host like a big thing here. And everybody was
super game. Everybody loved the idea. But then the day
came to actually come down to it, and it was
such like a clear divide. Only the other like minorities came.
All of the white people were too scared and they
fully articulate like, oh, we didn't know you lived in Kensington,
(08:52):
Like we all agreed we were all going to do this,
but then like, we're not going to do that. And
I understand, right, it can be like difficult area when
you are viewing people as like not people and instead
like the zombies that we see on social media and
the things that people constantly try to reduce them to.
So I would like walk some of like the girls
(09:15):
that came like from the train station the half block
to my apartment in case they were nervous. But then
all of the white kids just instead had their own
party in like Center City. They posted a ton of
pictures and they all commented that it was my party,
which out like the biggest slap in the face, proving
(09:37):
what we've been saying about that they want like to
seem with that level of inclusivity. They want to feel
like they understand what all of these like protest songs
are about without having to ever actually deal with the
stuff that people are fighting against.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, I'm so glad that you said that, because that's
one thing that I think the progressive side of the
people that don't live here but want to work and
contribute to Kensington, they talk a great game, right, They
talk about harm reduction, you know, needle exchange and they
(10:16):
talk about, you know, treating people with dignity, But then
when it comes to like us, like the people that
live there, I think, do you think they again, did
they forget about treating us with dignity?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yeah? I feel like it's it's an issue that goes
the whole way down the line because like those same
kids who were like scared to come to my neighborhood,
now that the Airbria has been christened by this like
cool or at least like outsider cool, are going to
like raver warehouses and like dressing up like addicts and
(10:58):
doing maybe more dry because than them on the dance
floor because it's been like accepted or not even accepted,
but just like gotten to that point. It would like
counterculture where it's just like, oh now it's cool to
associate with these people that last year we all like detested.
(11:18):
And I feel like how that relates to Kensington regardless
of like if you have an addiction or any history
with that, because it is just like a poor neighborhood.
I know so many people back there who are just
here because they can't afford anywhere else, because how can
you afford anywhere nowadays? A right, and like I it
(11:39):
was really sad as a kid, I wasn't allowed to
play outside, which was the smart move. If it wasn't
for like the addicts, it would be like a cop
would come and harass me just because I'm not supposed
to be here when I live across the street. And
so I feel like it becomes this like larger thing
to address and just discuss. In regards to the yes
(12:03):
like we, I think it's important to change our language.
I think it's better to treat people with respect and
to not use some of the like disenfranchising terms, like
I hated people talking about like how their friends were
such crackheads growing up, and it's like, you don't know
what a crackhead is, Like what are you talking about?
But I also think it's important to actually put intention
(12:25):
into our actions just as much as our words. I
feel like it's very easy to police language because you
can do that while sitting down and doing nothing else.
But then if you are actually like out there and
engaging with people and putting in the correct policies and
communicating with people to see what works and what doesn't,
that takes more effort, and that's what people are more
(12:47):
scared of.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
What do you think should happen in Kensington? Do you
like some of the stuff that Katsi's doing, Do you
think any of that what's going to impact? And also again,
what do you think.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
I think that there are at least in my experiences
in regards to like having a father who was addicted
and constantly in and out of programs and like whittling
away from AIDS and understanding that like a big thing
that he had to go through was that, like you know,
(13:22):
just say no is nonsense, right, An addiction is an addiction.
I feel like with my father, his use of opioids
and heroin particularly was almost like a pleasurable form of
suicide for him because he was just like he had
nowhere to go. He was out in the streets, He
couldn't get a job because people knew he had this,
(13:44):
and he kept going back to it because he was like,
there's nothing else in my life and everything is so hard.
At least this thing makes me feel good, even if
it is killing me. And I feel like that's a
really devastating truth that a lot of people like on
the streets of kensingson if you actually, like, stop being
afraid of them and sit down and talk to them,
(14:05):
really relate and resonate with because there is that like
palpable despair the second you get off of like the market,
frankfort Line. You know, I think there's a lot of
benefits to like clinics that would allow like more people
to come in and like get help, but those are
(14:29):
always profoundly underfunded. And like there was one like by
my house growing up, and I literally never once saw
it was open. So it's just like who is that helping? Then?
You know? I I feel like what's important is making
sure that there are like faculties that allow people to
(14:54):
do what they need to do with the people that
they need to do with in self a safe and
healthy environment, right, because like, if you are going to
be doing this thing, like at the very least, I
think it's good for people to like get therapy and
then get into programs that'll slowly beading them off of
(15:15):
it instead of just like dying in the streets. I
would personally much prefer somebody to be there to resuscitate.
You know, I have knockan on me at all times,
even though I'm not in those scenarios anymore, just because
I can't imagine, like, especially with a fentanyl crisis, like
what happened to my father having to happen to anyone again.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Wow, wow, thank you for sharing that about your dad.
So did and I think you mentioned in the article
he passed away of an overdose.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yes, he had an overdose and there was a lethal
amount of fentanyl in it and he was taken from
us a few years back.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
You know, it's just so amazing and I think just
wonderful that that that growing up in that environment and
you have still have all this empathy for people in addiction,
right because sometimes you know, people get upset, like like
we had a crew from Italy. Uh, they answered the
call of a mother here in the United States that
(16:17):
was looking for her son in Kensington. Well, we did
find him and his message to his mother was leave
me alone. I don't want to be found, you know.
And and the Italian reporters were like, yeah, fentanyl is
making its way into Europe and it's devastating, starting to
(16:38):
devastate neighborhoods in Italy. But we've been living it.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
For Kensington has been devastated.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah, yeah, and you know what, like I my son,
I don't know if you went to Comwall Middle School?
Did you go to Conwall Middle School?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I went to mastermin For Middle School.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
So Masterman is on Frankfort right.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Right across the street from CCP.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Oh my god, yes, I'm sorry, I thought it was
I got confuse. Yeah, yeah, so you went to Yeah
you went to a really good school. So those friends
would not come up to Kensington.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Yeah, dead on and there was like no good transit.
So some days I would walk like an hour straight
line up fifteenth heading towards spring Garden just to go
to school and back every day because you know, the trains,
especially the buses will sometimes stop going like to Kensington
(17:34):
when they see like, oh coming up. I had a
lot I remember when uber like first became a thing,
getting like paying for the ride. Like I would come up,
then he'd see it was going to Kensington and be
like no and then drive off. Really yeah that was rough. Wow.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Wow, that's that's what it's truth.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
It is so true.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
So like, so tell me a little bit about you,
Like you're you're in college now, who do you go to,
Like what is in the future for you? And do
you continue do you plan on your continue to do
your advocacy work.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Oh, of course it's impossible for me not to. My
mother is an activist, so I've always grown up in
that world, and even outside of the things that I
personally have experienced, I think like it's so foreign to
me to be able to look at like this world
and all of the atrocities that are happening in it
and not wanted to do something because of all of
the beauty in this world and all the great things
(18:31):
I'm being able to share with the people that I love.
I currently am not in college. I after like having
to graduate during COVID, I knew that I wanted to
be a writer professionally, and so I took a chance
and gap year, went out to try to live in
(18:52):
New York and immediately got published by NPR. And that's
where I'm calling you from now. Yeah, so I feel
pretty good. I feel like a lot of like writing
colleges kind of just teach you how to network. And
then I was like, why don't I just do the
work and go network myself for a year, see how
far I can make it, and then if I like
(19:13):
really blow it, then I will go and apply to
like Temple or something. But then I don't want to
drink it, knock on wood. But I'm doing pretty well. Cool.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So you're in New York right now?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yes, yes, I am. Wow.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
That's amazing man, And so like what other than I
know you do a lot of advocacy work, and what
inspired you to start writing? Like what made you use
this tool?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Oh, I've always adored like language. Well, I can give
you a two part answer, one that I think ties
directly to what we've been discussing, and then another that's
more like waxing poetic. But when I was a kid, right,
I'm Puerto Rican, and sadly, I feel like a lot
(20:02):
of other Puerto Ricans can relate to this. I do
not know as much Spanish as I wish I did.
I know enough to make white people think I'm fluent,
but not enough to like really hold my own. And
that's because when I was a kid, right, my father
is Puerto Rican. My mother is Native American, and so
she also knew a bit, but she made an active
(20:24):
point to not teach me when I was younger because
of how heavily policed to my own neighborhood was, and
she was horrified of the idea of me not being
able to talk my way out of the situation, and
it's devastating, but there are a lot of times growing
up where if I was not as eloquent as I am,
I would not be here, and so it's devastating. But
(20:45):
I do think that is a bit of where my
love of the English language comes from. And the more
wax and poetic side of it is that I think that, like,
you know, there's that James Baldwin quote about how you
think that you experienced this thing for the very first time,
and then you read a book from the eighteen hundreds
and you're like, oh, someone else has already felt this
(21:07):
exact same way. I think there's something really nice about
the fact that, you know, for lack of a better term,
we all have the same language, right lingua franca, where
you know, I read a book and I'm like, oh,
I already know all of these words. Someone just put
them in the right order. That makes me feel something
that is so e theorial to me, the idea that like,
(21:30):
I can read something for the first time and be
like I never thought to put it like this, and
now it has so much weight and power to make.
So to answer your question, before I moved here with
the aspiration of trying to write a novel in the
next few years, and I've been able to really take
some stripes out in the New York livery scene. I've
(21:52):
been thanked in a few novels already, which has been
really fulfilling, and I've been doing like editorial work and
assisting and putting on like those events. But I also
desperately want to make sure that I can get out
some more of my essays and non fiction pieces, especially
ones that will discuss and address these issues that I
(22:13):
think really need to be dealt with.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Is there anything you want to like, read and share
with us right now?
Speaker 3 (22:18):
I have a poem about my father that I presented
a little bit ago at the Poet's House in Manhattan.
But it's called so your dad killed himself? Now what?
Because of Like when I was originally writing the NPR article,
I did put what I was saying before about his
(22:39):
addiction as like a pleasurable form of suicide, and that
got a lot of resonance, Like the editor highlighted it
and was like, this completely changes how I view the
Okrade epidemic. But then they cut it out from like
the final piece. But I wrote what I wish I
could have read in all of those like hospit waiting
(23:00):
rooms or like therapy offices growing up waiting to like
try to have like an interaction and encounter with him.
Let me pull up.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, I think your father's probably a little bit younger
than me. But but us Latinos as we grow up.
And I didn't know this either when I was young,
but you know, we're kind of like on a death wish.
It's like we don't fear stuff and that we should fear.
And you know, don't sayrimeto without thinking. You know that, well,
(23:33):
I can't say the word actually beltmo de blank primeto,
and you know, cause I just to be honest transparency.
I I also had an an episode why why I overdosed?
And you know, thank God that I survived it, and
and that happened in my young age. That was enough
(23:53):
to just like one of the things that kind of
woke me up from this. You in North Philly and Kensington,
when you're raised there, it's like you're in this vacuum. Yeah,
you don't see anything beyond El Barrio.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Oh one hundred percent. A big party that I talked
about in the article was seeing like because I grew
up during like the rehab era of celebrities, right, I
saw people like also especially with heroin cheek, like glamorizing
this like you know, sallow and like sunken look. And
then I was like, this is what I look like,
(24:33):
But that's because we can't afford food. Like this is
not It's not the same, all right, But so your
dad killed himself? Now what? Cry? Cry and cry and
cry and cry and cry. Cry in a way you
(24:56):
never thought possible. Cry like a damn has burst behind
you eyes. Cry like Niagara Falls has got nothing on you.
Cry enough to drain all the water between here and
the island to form an isthmus that his parents can
walk across, so that they can come to the funeral.
Cry into here, dehydrated. Hold your mother. Cry into her
shoulder as she collapses above you. Feel the weight of
(25:18):
her sympathy and regrets and remorse and tears flatten your hair,
feel her hand try to grasp as much as you
as she can, and out of fear that you too
will go, Hear her apologize, Hear her wail, her hate
herself for weeping. Hear her think that she has lost
a lover, but you have lost a father, and hear
(25:39):
her apologize for it. Hear her say she's sorry, she's
so sorry, she's so sorry. See the faces at the funeral,
See the people you've never seen before. See them weep,
see them turn stolid at the sight of you. Watch
as they try to stay strong. Watches they feel the foolish,
(26:00):
Watch as they tell themselves how much worse it must
be for you. Hear that they have apparently heard of
you before. Do not hear what your father has said
about you, only that your existence was occasionally made known
here that you look like him, do not see it.
Feel your lover's touch. Wish she'd stop cutting yourself. Know
that all attics have their vices. Hooks nowhere, all addicted
(26:25):
to something. Sign the form for the cremator as an
of age next to Kim. Look at the man holding
the clipboard. See how his face doesn't change. See how
he doesn't understand why your hands shake on the page.
Hear his condolences, Listen to his sympathies towards everyone he
works with. Look in his eyes and see how he
(26:45):
does not know. Stare into the black screen of the
turned off television while your mother makes the plans for
his cremation. Look at the outline of your hair, stringy
and mild. Look at the bags under your eyes, hereditary
and enhance from a lack of sleep and over lubrication.
Look at your eyes, see nothing there. Stare into the
(27:05):
black orbs the TV has drawn into your face. Feel
the hollowness. Finally see the resemblance. Wow.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
That's wow, man, that's that's some. I don't have words
for it. Man, I just kind of want to feel.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
I feel.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
I feel it in my heart. Thank you, It's very powerful.
Thank you, and thank you, thank you so much for
sharing that. If people want to reach out to you
and get in contact with you, how can they do that.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
You can find me on Instagram at Guillermo A Santos,
or my website has the same url, Guillermo a Santos
dot com, which links to all of my writing on
NPR or some of my fiction and poetry. Uh. The
A is you know, my father was Kiermo Jose Santos uh,
(27:58):
And I feel like, especially when I'm able to write
stuff that talks about him, it's good to be able
to have that distinction and show that I am still
carrying on his name and a lot.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Of what he is there. Anything you want to say
to the folks back at home in Kensington.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Well, I I can't because that implies that I'm not
still talking to them every day. I carry them with me.
I make sure that, like the dream is to write
a book and get enough money that I can like
what I want to. I want to say, I want
to get my mom a place outside of there. But
as much as it is like a horrible place, she
(28:37):
loves it because of that community and because she has
been out there actively helping people since day one, and
I don't want to seal that from her. So really,
the only thing I can say back to all of Philly,
you know, the place that has always got to have
my heart no matter where I am in the world.
Go birds.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Guillermo Santos from can Brother, thank you so much. Man,
Please continue your work and your advocacy work for Kensington.
Man Gratoo.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
This interview who was originally broadcast on our sister station
Roomba one oh six y one, hosted by Gilberto Gonzalez.
You can listen to all of today's interviews by going
to our station website and typing in keyword community. You
can also listen on the iHeartRadio app yey Words Philadelphia
Community Podcast. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Lorraine Ballard.
(29:30):
I'm Lorraine Ballard Morrow and I stand for service to
our community and media that empowers. What will you stand for?
You've been listening to Insight and thank you
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