May 30, 2021 • 41 mins
An extended weekend provides an extra batch of emails from a rowdy bunch of varmints.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Boom. If you've got more hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere a holiday
weekend in the fifth Hour is fluviating the time away.
We thank you for spending some time with us, because hey,
clearly not enough time on the overnight show. And so
here we are back at it here eight days a week.
(00:44):
This would be the eighth day of the week. So
you do the math on this. And if you're if
you're on the East Coast, which is where most people live,
you get this show every day of the week, either
the radio show or the podcast. You get two shows
on Friday, and I guess technically two shows if you're
(01:06):
on the West Coast is two on Sunday, but it's
it's a total of eight shows a week spread out
over seven days. But the way it works with the
it's a very confusing. Anyway, West of the four oh
five is here David when his own sound effects going
(01:29):
can sound effects to love to love, You get this
day over with. I got some beers to drink and
some women to look at in this mail bag edition
is awfully shitty. No, it's a great male bag. I
love it, and you know I don't like to waste time.
I love the mail bag. It's one of my my
favorite things of the week. Answering the questions I like
the unwashed a little bit difficult for you. A little
(01:50):
ball washing from Pierre, more ball washing from Pierre, and
then something else from saying, you're so jealous of Pierre,
the relationship that me and Pierre had, You're so jealous
of that nausea. Uh, and this is very uncomfortable for you.
You do not handle this, which is odd because you're
west of the four h five where all the heartless
people to uh and and here you are not able
(02:12):
to to put up with some some banter, some friendly banter.
It's a nuisance for you. The good for you. The
good news is, though, is west of the four oh
five you can get yourself ben mallor a tent from dollars.
So we do everything west of the four h five.
There you go. Listen, you got to live more like
(02:32):
east of the four oh got to soften you people
up over there west of the four oh five, like
some of the homeless. You know, you don't have to
push all your homeless people east of the four oh five.
You can carry around some of your your own homeless people.
I have heard I've not been to Venice Beach. I
used to love going to Venice and people watching, But
I have heard from people that have been there that
(02:53):
it bears no resemblance to the old Venice Beach. It
is over the top. It's like a homeless shanty town. Now.
It reminds me of when I was in college going
down to t J. That's what it reminds me of.
It does I should you not. It's just it's awful.
It's a demilitarized zone. Is that what you're saying? Whatever
(03:13):
that ship was? Yeah? Yeah, and seeah you were you
were a citizen of chaz weren't right. You like living
in places that are in shambles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
what we're doing. So the real question with this is
like how how bad does it have to get for
the voters to then vote out the dumb dumbs that
are allowing it to happen. They would have to get
(03:35):
to their front porch. Okay, that's what Well, it's and
it's funny because those people on the and you're referring
to a story in l A where some politician thought, well,
let's put homeless people on on the park in the
parking lots of the beaches, you know, why not. And
so then then all these people that didn't give a
ship about homeless people being you know, downtown and all
(03:57):
over l A, all of a sudden are like, oh wait,
we got a problem here. Uh, this is this? We
kind allow this, you know. Jeez. Hey, let's get to
the mailback. So we have Greg from West Saint Paul, Minnesota.
He asked a question which was similar to Todd in Omaha, Nebraska.
Greg asked, how old were you when you got your
first job? He says, I was twelve. He got a
(04:18):
paper route or root. Uh. Todd in Omaha says, now
we're adults. What jobs did you start with? He says
he was a dishwasher at an Italian restaurant. My first
job I delivered the newspaper for the Irvine World News,
which I don't think exists anymore. It was a weekly newspaper.
It came out on Thursday, and I was a newspaper
(04:40):
delivery person. I I really wanted to get promoted to
the Orange County Register because that was more money of
the l A Times, but I never made it. I
just stuck to the Irvine World News for a brief
amount of time. And I also became very lazy, so
it ended up me preparing the papers and my mom
driving around so I could throw the papers. So that's
how that went. And then I worked at my mom
(05:00):
my family family business. My my mom started her own
mailing service like bulk mail kind of stuff, junk mail
for realtors and things like that before the Internet took off,
and so I prepared a lot of the mail and
I did that and she'd pay me a couple of
bucks now and again. So those are my first first jobs.
Family business and delivering the newspaper. What about you guess
(05:23):
guy stock groceries overnight for for local grocery store. That'd
be a good job. That sucked. Why don't you gonna
listen to the radio You can put It's not like
I don't think it's that stressful. When when you're in college,
the last thing you want to do is work overnight.
You want to be partying. So that's how I quit.
So you had that West of the four oh five mentality. Yeah,
(05:45):
even back then, eight ten years old, young, you know, spry,
some of us started working. Some of us rolled up
their sleeves, got their hands dirty at age nineteen, while
some of us weren't playing college football either, So you're
not athletes. Make that in the NFL everybody, No, No,
but I tried. Yeah, he tried. I gotta try. I
(06:06):
had that work out for you. Yeah, shoulder was a
little banged up. Matt from Elmira, New York's his big bat.
What the hell's that? That's where Tom Looney's from Elmira,
New York. It's an upstate Okay, Matt says. When I
was young, Mike Tyson was a larger than life superhuman fighter,
and I remember vividly being heartbroken when he lost a
(06:27):
Buster Douglas. Now, being older, I find myself wondering if
Tyson was really all that great as he struggled against
the tougher competition, and if he was just more entertaining
against lesser opponents than he was a skilled boxer regardless,
he's a legend. But I'd love to hear your thoughts.
I love the show, Matt in Elmira, Well, thanks for
(06:48):
loving the show, Matt. Yeah, I was. I was in
awe of Mike Tyson too. I don't know if we're
around the same age. Probably are, but the legend of
Mike Tyson and the baddest man on the planet and
the folklore around Tyson and I recall the Buster Douglas
fight happened like in the middle of the night on
the weekends. It was an odd time, as I remember,
and it was when news started filtering out, and that
(07:10):
was in the days before the interweb had had taken off,
and so it was like shocking. It was like, did
that really happen? What? What? No, there's no way, you know.
As as far as the reality of Tyson, I have
not studied it. I have to go back and look.
But I do remember Tyson fighting Tomato Cans and just
(07:34):
pummeling him into submission. That's my memory of Tyson watching
some of those fights as a kid and they're like, whoaly,
crap man. I wouldn't want to get into a street
fight with this guy. I can't remember a bigger upset
outside of the nauseating Game seven that we were at
Astros and Dodgers. Well, that was that was a sham though,
That was a cheating. I just I could not. Tyson
(07:57):
was kid dynamite. He was he was invincible, he was bulletproof. Yeah,
he was so intimidating two with those eyes. They say
styles make fights, guest gun and when you don't prepare,
that's the style and you get your ass kicked. H man,
it was and the other I love the boxing cliches
and know I was like, well, a good boxer always
beats a good puncher. Well are you are we gonna
(08:19):
say Buster Douglas is a good boxer. I wouldn't say that.
He just happened to take advantage of Tyson, who was
clearly not ready to fight. It wasn't didn't prepare and
you know Buster Douglas after that, that was it. That
was just you know he would talk about one hit
wonders right and jump right there. Yeah, that was it.
(08:42):
We need we need some good fights boxing, not the
celebrity boxing crap. I'm not really into that. But we
used to have a couple of big fights a year,
get back to that. Bring bring back the sluggers. The uh,
the swarmers bring up, bring those guys back, the brawlers. Yeah,
the brawlers, bring them, bring him back, bring him out there.
(09:03):
Let's see here, what is next page? Then we're done.
We're done. Yes, no, no, no, no no no. Jason
from Rocky mountin Virginia says, for both of you, have
you ever ridden a motorcycle or an a t V?
If so, when and where? Also, Ben, your hat should
be there whenever you check your mail. Thank you you
got you a hat? Did I misspeak? I'm reading the email.
(09:28):
I was kind of hoping he's said, both of you guys,
he sent you a hat. You don't need a hat.
You don't even wear hats. I'm wearing a hat right now. No,
you're not wearing a hat. A hat. Looking I'm looking
at you. You don't have The sun is bright. I
need the hat to cover my face. I don't see.
I don't see a hat. I have never ridden a motorcycle.
(09:49):
I'm too fat for that. But I have been on
an a t V in Hawaii, Hawaii and quiet. We
had to take a t V S two. There was
a thing you can go to the Indiana Jones Swing.
Remember that scene in Indiana Jones where he's getting chased
(10:10):
by the natives and he runs down and he jumps
on the rope and into the water to the plane. Yeah,
they that's I was filmed in Kauaii. And you can
do uh a toy They can take it like waterfalls
and things like that, and you have to drive in
a TV to get there. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I drove.
I drove a dirt bike in an a t V
on the desert. I have a few buddies that have
(10:32):
toy boxes and dune buggies and a t V s
and UH dirt bikes. I actually on the same day
I crashed both of them. Actually flipped the a t
V two. I was at a buddy of mine that
dared me to go up this massive dune and I
could not go up it. It was my first time
(10:52):
riding his and he actually said he flipped his brakes.
So the front brakes were on the left, No, the
front brakes from the right side I think it was,
and the back brakes from the left. Yeah, and I
hit the wrong one as I was going back down,
so I accidentally hit the front brake and I flipped
over the the a t V and the TV rolled
(11:13):
over me. Everyone thought I was dead, like they broke
my neck. Yeah, you know, I'm a little freaked out
our our former colleague. I don't know if you were
here when she was here, but Amy van Dyken, the
Olympic gold medal swimmer record breaker, she was on an
a t V and she got in a big accident,
right and she ended up paraplegic. But I mean that's,
(11:36):
you know, like she had a curb curb or something
like that. I forget exactly what happened with something that
happened in Arizona, but yeah, that gave me. And I'm
pretty convinced if I drove a motorcycle, be unbelievably fun
and I'd crash, and those two things would don't They
don't cross each other out, and they don't. I crashed
everything I drive, boat, a TV, dirt bike, car. Yeah,
(11:58):
some people are motorcycle guys. What I gotta tell you.
When I'm on the highways around l A here and
I see people who and they cut through the lanes,
you know you're allowed to. I mean that it's like
having a death wish to me. When you do that,
I see people get I've seen several times over used
motorcycle guys laying on the on the freeway because they've
just been dinged from someone who crossed over a little
(12:20):
bit while they were driving between the lanes. Can't do it, man.
And the other thing that I hate about motorcycle people
is when I don't mind it as much if you're
kind of lean and mean on the motorcycle, but those
massive Harley's that look like there are many cars that
drive try to drive between lanes. I think that's a
little much, little much. Bill writes in says, would you
(12:43):
ever take a morning drive gig? If offered um? Well,
as I said on a previous episode, guess I. My
belief is, uh, everyone's got a price, the magic Christian right,
Everyone's got a price, and if if they reach that price,
I would leave. I love my job. I like to
do this for many, many more years. But if somebody
(13:04):
comes and makes it rain and it would have to
be game changing money, but I would certainly do it
if I could pay my bills off and live a
very comfortable life and not have to worry about a
lot of the financial stuff, and and get a real salary,
not an overnight Sorry, I'd be be good with that.
What happens if I deliver that for you? It's highly unlikely. Well,
you kid die. I'm pretty sure brought a lot of
(13:26):
things to your table that weren't there before. I don't
know about that. John the jailer says, Ben and Gascon,
I'm having a Memorial Day party and you're invited pizza
and wings or burgers and dogs. Both burgers and not
what burgers and dogs? I just love my pizza. I
love my pizza, but holiday weekend burgers and dogs? Now?
Do you also go potato or eggs salad? Too? Uh? No,
(13:49):
I don't believe any salad, So what's wrong with you? Salad? Potail? Salad?
Always do? I don't like potato cheese burgers, A hot
dog with barberships, I do hip, I do the chips.
I do the potato chips, Friedo's. I like the FreeDOS
Finway Monster Dog, the greatest hot dog out there, wonderful.
Cliff in Nashville had a similar question. He says, Ben,
(14:11):
what's your Memorial Day barbecue go to? Uh? He says,
I know it's not the Tomahawk. Fuck you it's not
very nice say that to Cliff Wow. Kevin in Kansas writes,
since says, hey, Ben and David, I wrote you this winner,
commending the podcast for keeping me informed and entertained while
(14:34):
I jogged. Now the same thing is happening. Is I
mow yards? I was wondering if either of you mode
yards as youngsters, or what similar chores were you assigned.
I love the show, well, Kevin, Yeah, I was a lawnmower.
I vacuum That was my my chores at the house.
I was a vacuum cleaner guy, and I would occasionally
mow the lawn and my older brother were rotate. But
(14:57):
this is back in the bron age because my I
tried to find it when my pops passed away. This
lawnmower was the worst freaking lawnmower. It was a manual lawnmower,
and the blades, once they became dull, it really didn't
cut the grass very well at all. It was horrific
(15:18):
compared to the lawnmowers they have today. It was a
freaking nightmare and it took us forever and we ended
up it kept getting jammed. The thing it had these
these large long metal blades that would rotate as you
rolled the thing. It was like out of I mean
I was out of a colonial times or something like that.
(15:38):
It was insane. But yeah, I did mow of the lawn.
Are attempted to as a kid. What about you get? Yeah,
I did mowing the lawn. Um. I would paint at
the sands. Sometimes I'd have to uh with the floors,
like tiles on the floors as I put that down,
and then the sprinkler system did that installed that with
(15:59):
my pop. Yea, so did a bunch of things. David
in Simpsonville, South Carolina. Right, since for both of you,
what's the greatest athlete you have met or interviewed and
were they? Were they decent or addict to you? Uh? Well?
(16:21):
As a autograph hound, I don't know if I'm I.
I stocked Joe di Maggio. I saw the side in
the back of Joe di Maggio at a hotel in
San Diego. I don't really didn't meet him. Nolan Ryan
George Brett. I had a great memory of George Brett.
We were in high school. We followed George Brett to
(16:42):
a bar in Anaheim. George was drinking with his brother
Ken Brett, who was a broadcaster for the Angels at
the time, and we had been tipped off that Brett
was at this bar, so all those high school kids
went is on the weekend and it's like, you know,
two in the morning, closing time, and the Brett brothers
(17:02):
come stumbling out of the bar, and we were all
waiting for the autographs George Brett for you gonna be
a three thousand hit guy, gonna be a Hall of Famer,
the greatest Kansas City royal of all time. So we're
like waiting for George Brett and he comes out of
the bar completely hammered, it appeared, and he starts cursing
(17:22):
at us, like what are your kids doing here? You know,
like but then he signed everything, but the whole time
he was like giving. He was busting our balls, cursing
like well you shouldn't you guys be sleeping, And it
was hilarious. Uh, Ben, I think the greatest athlete I
ever met was actually probably one of the greatest of
all time. I actually met Gretzky a couple of times,
(17:43):
but the most recent encounter was gosh, I want to
say it was like nine ten years ago. I actually
met him in Vegas at a blackjack table and a
buddy of mine spotted him and says that gret Sky
over there. And he was at a table with his agent,
I think was the general manage at the time, Michael Barnett,
of the of the Coyotes, and they were playing blackjack together,
(18:06):
but just the two of them, and the stakes on
the table weren't that high, and he had a lot
of chips that were obviously out there. But I thought,
fuck it, I'll go play with the great one. I
was a little soft, so I sat down with him,
and he was the biggest dick. He proceeded to lose
his fucking ass. It was. It was chips getting taken
on top of chips getting taken, and and I just
(18:27):
made a comment to my buddy because he was like, Hey,
is that Gretzky And I said, yeah, that's a great
one right there, and I kind of pointed to him,
and he's just like, nothing great about me, and like
just lost another stack of chips and then just walked off,
say you lose all the bet you don't make. Now
that it's over at TNZ, be sure to catch live
(18:49):
editions of the Ben Maller Show week days at two
am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live
editions of The Ben Maller Show week days at two
am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports It's Radio
and the I Heart Radio app. But in the media,
I was telling the story about when I was a
kid getting autographs and meeting some of the players, the
old baseball players. But as in the media like I've
(19:11):
been pretty like like Jordan's John, I didn't even John
Wooden coach k Tony Gwynn, Mr podre back in the day.
What a cool what a cool guy. Tony gwyn was man,
so nice, the most down to earth superstar I had
ever met, And still to this day, Tony Gwynn like
just just the coolest guy. Uh. And then I got
(19:31):
a lot of the guys in l a shock. I
was around Kobe before he became Kobe, when he was
a rookie with the fro and yeah, and he would
hang out and uh, you know, he'd shoot the ship
with the radio guys, and he was a buddy, buddy,
my my buddy. He's a boxing reporter now from Israel,
and uh, and he was because Kobe's you know it
was an international guy. He became friends with him, and
(19:54):
it was it was cool. Uh, And I obviously I
love the broadcaster. So I got to meet a lot
of my heroes in podcasting, people I looked up to
from Afar when I was a kid, like Harry Carey. Um, uh,
you're down the list, the old Phillies broadcaster Harry Callius,
who I loved us, the voice of NFL films, and
(20:14):
I'm trying to think, the old Tiger broadcaster. What was
the guy's name, Ernie Harwell, Ernie harr I met him.
A lot of these guys they've moved on, but uh,
you know Vince Gully chickern Ralph Lawler, people like that.
So a lot of cool, cool things, all right. Next
up Pierre from Springfield, mass Pro Basketball Hall of Fame,
(20:34):
down the street from where Muffett McGraw is enshrined and says,
refresh my memory, bend. Didn't you have a caller years
ago from New Orleans that said that they were writing
a book about the show and the militia? Yes? Yes,
great show knowledge by you, Pierre, Good show knowledge by you, Pierre.
(20:55):
So what happened, uh, was so this guy would call
up sporadically from New Orleans. He was a little out
there and he always would he would would would say,
I'm writing a book, and he give us a little
taste of the chapter that he was working on, and
the book never it was he was pulling our chain
and there's no book, right And then I think guy
(21:16):
hasn't called in a long time. I don't know what
happened to him. He kind of vanished there. But the yeah,
we he used to say that, and I flirted around
with some people about writing a book, but nothing's ever materialized. Uh,
and Gascon says, I shouldn't be allowed to write a
book till I'm almost dead. So he said, I never
said that, But if you didn't say that, if you're
gonna do it, you should. You should really lay it
(21:37):
all out. And I don't think you can right now.
I believe I am held back by the man. Is
that what you're saying. Well, I just think you're in
the prime of your career. I don't think you want
to step on your dick at this moment. There's things
you can write about that you don't have to do that.
In tribute to the great Mr Moose Pierre from Springfield,
says Mr Moose, remain what be possible to rename site
(22:01):
the Bite to Mr Moose's memorial Site the Bite or
something in that vein, Well, it would be possible, but
I don't know. I mean, I think we better off
Mr Moose giving an award at the Benny's if we
can figure out where we have the Genie and Medford
Memorial Caller of the Year Awards, the greatest caller in
the history of sports radio, Genie and Medford, and we
(22:24):
do that, we honor Genie's memory. So I think something
at the Benny's we could do that. I think that
would be good. But I don't know. But that's too
wordy and I'll site the bites at Boom Site the Bite.
All Right, Valls Fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee Falls fan
Jimmy called up this week and he sounds just like
you would imagine Valls Fan Jimmy to sound like, all right,
(22:44):
I love it. I love it. Sounds like authentic Tennessee.
And he's not a fake fraud Tennessee. And he's not
one of these Californians that moved to Tennessee. This guy
is authentic. You cut him open and volunteer. Blood is
gonna come out anyway. He said, what kind of person
wears long sleeve shirts with shorts in California? Does the
sun bother you that much? Snowflake? Yeah, So I went
(23:06):
to Palm Springs last weekend Guesscon and I had some photos.
And of course I always tell the wife, I say,
whatever I wear, I will be mocked for and it
happens ad percent of the time. Vanity people love to
attack your vanity. But yeah, I was in Popsting. It
wasn't actually all that hot. It was only like in
the low eighties or the mid eighties and Palm Springs,
(23:27):
which is not hot. For Palm Springs. I've been out
there when it's a hundred and twenty and so it
wasn't that hot. And uh yeah, I mean we uh
you wore the shirt and I had some shorts on
and we went around, took a bunch of photos and
all that. So uh interesting, What else do we have?
Let's see page down here. Neil from Miami says, God
(23:50):
Sad interview was awesome. You are now one degree away
from Joe Rogan. I used to see doctor Sad on
Rogan all the time before Rogan got is one million
dollars and disappeared off YouTube. I am a Ukrainian Jew
escape ee from the Soviet Union. How about that moment?
At that I grew up in a town designated as
(24:12):
a Jewish ghetto during the World War two period by
Germans as liquidation ghetto for East Romanian Jews. Wow about
that one my grandparents, Neil says, I lived through the Holocaust. Obviously,
since I am typing here concentration camps. Uh paternal side
(24:33):
saw his family killed. Uh in a mass grave. My
paternal grandfather and his brother pretended to be dead in
mass graves and then ran away from the town where
I grew up. That would have been a hell of
a story to hear. Holy sh it hid there for
a while. Um, But we're found anyway. But many of
us immigrants, immigrants and Jews from the Old Country or
(24:56):
Middle East are not fans of identity politics and totally
behind reasonable intellectuals like Gad Sad who are fighting from
behind enemy lines. That's quite the story, Neil, Uh and
I did well. I didn't. The family did the DNA
test and my A lot of my ancestors are from
(25:22):
the Ukraine that area. But it was Russia when they
lived there, and I imagine the timeline on that they
moved because of because of the World War two and whatnot.
But then some of my family was here before World
War Two. But yeah, and then I had a grandmother
on my mom's side who was born in Chernobyl. I
(25:42):
can't really go back there. I can't go back there
to Chernobyl. I can't go back and see the old house.
You know, it's not not not allowed. Yeah. I I
don't get the the identity politics thing either. It just
blows my mind. I I don't know how we've we've
gotten to that point. But hopefully it's just a phase.
(26:04):
We hope it's just a phase and the dumb people
will not be listened to. Uh, let's see you. Neil
also says big men, what happened to your documentary recommendation?
Your tip on Operation Odessa was awesome. My family actually
knew the guy. We grew up near real Odessa, Ukraine.
We went to his restaurant a few times here in
(26:24):
Sunny Aisles. He lives a mile from it now in Miami.
My aunt went there, went to the dude's wife's funeral, etcetera. Wow,
says I'm watching Fall of the Cabal. Not easy to find.
What is your pick? Uh? Well, yeah, I can give
you the standard documentary the Big Board of documentaries, because
(26:49):
I do have some of my favorite documentaries guests on that.
I I don't often go back and watch them and
all that. But my favorite documentary operational odessa uh this
super Mensch super mench that's several years old supersize me too.
We talked about that on this show. The Dark Side
documentary very good about doping in sports. I also we
(27:14):
like that Make Millions one that was on not that
long ago. That was very good as well. Those are
my favorite was that three four? Is that five? I
think his operational deaths Superman's Superman supersize Me two? Oh
not six? Actually, I think is it now? It's five point?
They said there would be no Man operational. That's a
(27:34):
supermnch supersize me two. That's three dark Side and mcmillions
that's five. There you uh, let's see here. Uh So
this is also I think from Neil says Gascon. Given
your connection to the military in the so Cal area,
you told the story of your birthday bash. But what's
(27:55):
your favorite related war story for Memorial Day weekend. I
spent nearly five years, and I spent year the five
years in San Diego, Oceanside Carlsbad area thousand two as
I was stationed at Camp Pendleton and would love to
relive some stories of Pacific Beach, t J gas Lamp,
etcetera wants he wants some gascon stories. I can only
(28:20):
give you one bat on, so I guess I'll give
it to you. Um. When I lived down in San Diego,
I kind of met my way into a bunch of
guys that were in the military. A lot of them
were Navy rats, and they were all um, they're all discharged,
so now they were all working in different lines of work,
(28:41):
and there was about twelve of us. And typically in
San Diego it's either Mission Valley that people go to
downtown or Pacific Beach. If you're older, you go to
obi Um. But during the holidays or during special events
in Pacific Beach, there's a main street called Garnet and
they would just block off that entire street because all
it was filled with was bars and and shops. And
(29:05):
so they used to have an event annually called the
PB Block Party, and they'd bring the vendors into the
middle of the streets for beer, food, drinks, anything else
that you wanted, candy, all the other stuff. And so
I went down there with with all these guys. There
was like probably ten or eleven of us, and we
were drinking the entire day. But after the p B
(29:26):
block party was broken up, we split for some reason,
Like a couple of guys went with some girls. A
couple of guys went to want to go to a bar,
and I went with a buddy of mine and I
think one other dude and we went to his sister's
um a house party. This house party was massive, a
lot of things going on. People are drinking all over
(29:47):
the place, but with alcohol rising and tensions getting kind
of high, um there was some There were some guys
there that were were acting tough and acting big and
brave and talking ship and my buddy sister or I
wanted to kick them out. So she tried kicking It
was all outside, but she wanted to kick them off
the property. And so she went up to one of
(30:08):
the guys. It was like, you need to leave, and
the guy was a total dick to her, and she
snapped at him and she's like, you know, you know,
fuck you you short ship or something like that. And
the guy was short and obviously a small man complex
he you know, he's like, fuck you can't. And he
had a beer and and he threw a punch at her.
(30:31):
And as soon as he threw a punch, I was
right next to him. I threw my beer on him,
and then I jumped on top of him and I
tried kicking his ass. All of a sudden, I got
on top of him, I got gang tackled by a
bunch of dudes, was put into a choke called nearly
a knocked unconscious um beaten down, and I was by myself.
(30:54):
It turned out like my buddy and the other guys
were kind of near the scene, but they weren't in
the middle of the rap, and so I was just
getting pummeled while I'm holding on this one guy and
hitting him. And then the fight was over. I'm like
a bloody mess. And it turned out that these dudes
were all in Bud's training. They were all in training
(31:14):
to be Navy's seals, and they were a couple of
them were like hanging around the property. But the one
guy that hit my buddy's sister a cop rolled up
a female cop like half of our size. That ship
you not. He tried taking her down because he was hammered,
and she ducked a punch and then dropped him with
an elbow and then arrested him. The worst part was
(31:37):
all these guys got detained, and then twenty minutes later,
like a sergeant or a captain showed up and uncuffed
all of them and they all left. How to go
to the hospital get stitches and all we gotta pick
up the pace. Guess I got a limited time. It's
a great story. You want to pick at the pace now?
I mean we're getting the full dance remix there. I mean,
(31:58):
my god, how dare you? How about brevity? Jeez? Alright? Uh?
Blind Seahawk fan Emmett and Olympius says, what's the most
awkward situation you guys have been put into on radio?
I interviewed a guy that the producer told me that
the wrong name of the guest. Didn't know that until
that happened. I've also had alcohol consumption on the air.
That's odd. There's been a lot of odd things. Ross
(32:20):
writes in says love the show. I am a day
walker and listen to the Overnight Show via podcast daily
along with this dedicated program. The two of you are
the pencil hole of light in the dark tunnel of
woke cancelation. There you go. That's good, that's poetry. Ross says,
whatever you do, don't freaking stop. One request for gascon
(32:43):
please in the name of the Holy Trinity and Commander
Gascon Effort. The greatest college football radio announcer in the
modern era, Eli Gold, the voice of the Alabama Crimson Tie. Yeah.
I like to talk to Eli Gold. He's good. That
guy is good. I love people that are good at
their jobs. Uh. He says. I was a journalist in
(33:06):
the past life men and interviewed him several times. That
you won't be disappointed for lack of content that you go.
Thank you, Ross, I appreciate that. Here's one from Allen
in Tulsa, Oklahoma's has been you need to come here
to see the Drillers, which is an l A Dodger
franchise minor league team, and see the ballpark which has
huge pictures of divers that made it from there, or
(33:28):
he said, divers that even Dodgers. It says divers here.
David keeps giving you a hard time about working from home,
and this is about it's gonna get good. So it
says guscon gives you a hard time about working home.
But the other night when Jason Smith said to him
that he might split time when all is back to normal,
there was no argument, like with you. Interesting, I didn't
(33:49):
push back against Jason Smith. Huh. You're okay with Jason
Smith working from home but not me? Huh, Well, I
mean it's his show. It's a little bit different. I
I only fill in on that show sometimes I'm not
here on the podcast, or I'm here on the podcast
all the time. Ye know what. I think the plan
will be eventually to have a split situation. That'll be
(34:10):
the plan going forward. We'll see that what goes on,
says Ben. Also, Alan says Ben, you you should get
uh any agger? Is that how I say your name
on your podcast? She does funny football zoom call sketches.
I don't know who that is. Do you know who
that is? But Tulsa's college football team is pretty good too. Yeah?
What else do we have? Let's see here? Sarah in
(34:32):
Minnesota's I really enjoyed the interview with the Dr Sad
A breath of fresh air. Like all your shows, I've
been trying to review. I've googled how to review. You've
described how to review. Just go to Apple podcast, The
Real Fifth Hour, et cetera. Have you actually tried to
do this? It doesn't work for me. I have an
Apple iPhone eleven. I think you should just have Sarah
(34:56):
email me directly and we can talk and I'll walk
her through the Wow Bill Cosby over there, she says,
talk to me like, I'm five years old, so I
have a five in my age, but there might be
an extra digit. Uh so go ahead there, guess help
(35:17):
her out. Just YouTube it. She did some some screen
captures here. She says, Uh, we're listening on I Heart,
but to try to review. I listened on Apple podcast.
See the screen capture there, and there's some photos. I
don't think we have time to get into this right now.
But what what you you have access to the email?
Why don't you write back? She wrote to the show
(35:37):
email Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. A little,
you know, a little tied up when I read those interesting? Interesting, interesting? Interesting?
What else do we have here? This is from Helen
and Stu and Palmetto Bay Retired Transplants from n y
C and your new biggest podcast fans in Miami. How
(36:01):
about that? Thank you, Helen and stew looks like we're
out of time on this podcast. Wrap this up? What
do you say? A lha spreading the good Oh, this
is the one you're up to, spreading the good word
for both shows in the air everywhere. I saw David's
actor profile online and I was shocked but not surprised
that he named badminton as an athletic skill. As Stu laughed,
(36:24):
no real man west of the four oh five with
a man card would list badminton as a sport. Listen,
what kind of dipship would not acknowledge the other things
I identified as more disturbing, more combat chemo sabi, more disturbing.
When asked on his profile if he would appear nude
in his scene, David checked yes, Yes. Ben, Nobody, including
(36:48):
including David's dad, wants to see David naked. Wow, you
get a few female listeners that wouldn't mind question. In
order to keep his job as your Fifth Hour co host,
will guest gon Val to never appear nude in a scene. Helen,
just a heads up if you are shirtless in a
scene that's considered nudity. Jesus. She also said grocery shopping,
(37:11):
I walked by the little smokey section and immediately thought
of David gascon on your undersized fifth hour cost or,
as my husband and his golf pal say, the mench
and the stench. That is a great line, the mench
and the stench. If we were like Barstool and we
(37:33):
made T shirts, that would be like a perfect T shirt. Yeah,
wouldn't that be great? Something tells me I'd give her
the best five minutes she's had in quite a while. Wow,
look at that, you're gonna still come on, man, come on?
Helen's like she please Carlos and Bang Bang Houston says,
I know they lovely. Tammy Montana is the mother Teresa
(37:54):
the Ben Maller Show. I see it's time for her
to do a wellness check on helmet man. It's been
a while, and I hope he's doing okay. Also, if
you're not planning on eating that steak and your freezer,
can you send it to Marcel and Brooklyn does. My
question for you guys is what's the longest drive you
guys have made. I think we've answered that right we've
like San Francisco or Phoenix or someone like that for us. Yeah. Uh,
(38:16):
David writes and says, whatever happened to Spokane Gary? Is
he still around listening to your show? I came across
some of Pittsburgh Pete or Pete and Pittsburgh's clips thought
about the old days. Uh yeah, Well some sad news, David.
Our our guy Spokane Gary, who used to call up
and bust my ball, saying Dale Murphy for the Hall
of Fame. Uh. Gary passed away a couple of years back.
(38:37):
I got a message from one of his relatives, and
he was quite a character. And Spokane Gary. You talk
about the pillars of the Ben Mallow Show. In the
early days, it was Pete and Pittsburgh, Spokane Gary. These
were my guys, uh and Troy the gambling Man, MotorCity
Mike Uh. We had Jehadas John in in Michigan. These
(38:58):
these were guys that were really the backbone of what
became the Mallard militia. But we we did lose Spokane
Gary a couple of years ago. He was quite the
quite the character on the show. We miss him. Barry
in Nashville rights and says Yo Yo Ma Benny, I
should have explained that yo yo ma is my greeting
and salutations. It means great show, love listening, hope you're
(39:20):
doing well. Rush Limball had ditto. To save time, I
think you need a greeting from all the callers so
they don't waste time saying how you doing and then
the awkward pauses that come about after they say yo
yo ma. They go right into their call. He says,
I'm sleeping when you take a live calls, Hopefully someone
in the Malla militia steps up and gets the ball rolling. Well,
(39:40):
if people want to embrace that yo yo ma, you know,
there you go. I would it would be okay with that,
you know, No, not a bad idea. You don't seem
excited about that. I'm not usually awake from that show.
But well, John is not happy though, John. This guy
John in St. Louis says, I'm a big fan of
your show, probably your most loyal listener in St. Louis.
But you're ready. Yeah, I wish you would dial down
(40:05):
the political stuff, the wocal roddy or how you don't
really think COVID is that serious? Did I ever say
COVID is not that serious? That I say that, and
it's not as serious that the media is making it
out to be right, I mean out of context quotes
last night, he said, quoting me from the show, says,
last night, yeah, you said the media fact checks Trump
but not Biden. It's the same principle when I go
(40:27):
to a bar in public um here to watch a
game and he's upset that I, well, am I wronging up?
But didn't the Washington Post to have a fact checker
for Trump, but they got rid of it for Biden. Yeah,
it's I I'm not making that up. I mean, you
might like to hear that jump, but I'm not making
it up. I think it's the equivalent of you speed
dialing somebody and someone just dialing the number by hand,
(40:49):
right like eric code telephone number. There is fact checkers
that were there all the time for Trump and for Biden.
They literally circle back anyway, So John Lissen, I hope
you listen to the show, John, But that's it. We
gotta get out of here, guest, and I got things
to do, places to go see. All right, we'll take here.
Have a great rest of your Sunday. I'll be on
tonight on the Overnight even though it's a holiday, I
(41:10):
will be slaving away over the microphones. Will catch you
next time. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Ben Meller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app
Boom. If you've got more hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere a holiday
weekend in the fifth Hour is fluviating the time away.
We thank you for spending some time with us, because hey,
clearly not enough time on the overnight show. And so
here we are back at it here eight days a week.
(00:44):
This would be the eighth day of the week. So
you do the math on this. And if you're if
you're on the East Coast, which is where most people live,
you get this show every day of the week, either
the radio show or the podcast. You get two shows
on Friday, and I guess technically two shows if you're
(01:06):
on the West Coast is two on Sunday, but it's
it's a total of eight shows a week spread out
over seven days. But the way it works with the
it's a very confusing. Anyway, West of the four oh
five is here David when his own sound effects going
(01:29):
can sound effects to love to love, You get this
day over with. I got some beers to drink and
some women to look at in this mail bag edition
is awfully shitty. No, it's a great male bag. I
love it, and you know I don't like to waste time.
I love the mail bag. It's one of my my
favorite things of the week. Answering the questions I like
the unwashed a little bit difficult for you. A little
(01:50):
ball washing from Pierre, more ball washing from Pierre, and
then something else from saying, you're so jealous of Pierre,
the relationship that me and Pierre had, You're so jealous
of that nausea. Uh, and this is very uncomfortable for you.
You do not handle this, which is odd because you're
west of the four h five where all the heartless
people to uh and and here you are not able
(02:12):
to to put up with some some banter, some friendly banter.
It's a nuisance for you. The good for you. The
good news is, though, is west of the four oh
five you can get yourself ben mallor a tent from dollars.
So we do everything west of the four h five.
There you go. Listen, you got to live more like
(02:32):
east of the four oh got to soften you people
up over there west of the four oh five, like
some of the homeless. You know, you don't have to
push all your homeless people east of the four oh five.
You can carry around some of your your own homeless people.
I have heard I've not been to Venice Beach. I
used to love going to Venice and people watching, But
I have heard from people that have been there that
(02:53):
it bears no resemblance to the old Venice Beach. It
is over the top. It's like a homeless shanty town. Now.
It reminds me of when I was in college going
down to t J. That's what it reminds me of.
It does I should you not. It's just it's awful.
It's a demilitarized zone. Is that what you're saying? Whatever
(03:13):
that ship was? Yeah? Yeah, and seeah you were you
were a citizen of chaz weren't right. You like living
in places that are in shambles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
what we're doing. So the real question with this is
like how how bad does it have to get for
the voters to then vote out the dumb dumbs that
are allowing it to happen. They would have to get
(03:35):
to their front porch. Okay, that's what Well, it's and
it's funny because those people on the and you're referring
to a story in l A where some politician thought, well,
let's put homeless people on on the park in the
parking lots of the beaches, you know, why not. And
so then then all these people that didn't give a
ship about homeless people being you know, downtown and all
(03:57):
over l A, all of a sudden are like, oh wait,
we got a problem here. Uh, this is this? We
kind allow this, you know. Jeez. Hey, let's get to
the mailback. So we have Greg from West Saint Paul, Minnesota.
He asked a question which was similar to Todd in Omaha, Nebraska.
Greg asked, how old were you when you got your
first job? He says, I was twelve. He got a
(04:18):
paper route or root. Uh. Todd in Omaha says, now
we're adults. What jobs did you start with? He says
he was a dishwasher at an Italian restaurant. My first
job I delivered the newspaper for the Irvine World News,
which I don't think exists anymore. It was a weekly newspaper.
It came out on Thursday, and I was a newspaper
(04:40):
delivery person. I I really wanted to get promoted to
the Orange County Register because that was more money of
the l A Times, but I never made it. I
just stuck to the Irvine World News for a brief
amount of time. And I also became very lazy, so
it ended up me preparing the papers and my mom
driving around so I could throw the papers. So that's
how that went. And then I worked at my mom
(05:00):
my family family business. My my mom started her own
mailing service like bulk mail kind of stuff, junk mail
for realtors and things like that before the Internet took off,
and so I prepared a lot of the mail and
I did that and she'd pay me a couple of
bucks now and again. So those are my first first jobs.
Family business and delivering the newspaper. What about you guess
(05:23):
guy stock groceries overnight for for local grocery store. That'd
be a good job. That sucked. Why don't you gonna
listen to the radio You can put It's not like
I don't think it's that stressful. When when you're in college,
the last thing you want to do is work overnight.
You want to be partying. So that's how I quit.
So you had that West of the four oh five mentality. Yeah,
(05:45):
even back then, eight ten years old, young, you know, spry,
some of us started working. Some of us rolled up
their sleeves, got their hands dirty at age nineteen, while
some of us weren't playing college football either, So you're
not athletes. Make that in the NFL everybody, No, No,
but I tried. Yeah, he tried. I gotta try. I
(06:06):
had that work out for you. Yeah, shoulder was a
little banged up. Matt from Elmira, New York's his big bat.
What the hell's that? That's where Tom Looney's from Elmira,
New York. It's an upstate Okay, Matt says. When I
was young, Mike Tyson was a larger than life superhuman fighter,
and I remember vividly being heartbroken when he lost a
(06:27):
Buster Douglas. Now, being older, I find myself wondering if
Tyson was really all that great as he struggled against
the tougher competition, and if he was just more entertaining
against lesser opponents than he was a skilled boxer regardless,
he's a legend. But I'd love to hear your thoughts.
I love the show, Matt in Elmira, Well, thanks for
(06:48):
loving the show, Matt. Yeah, I was. I was in
awe of Mike Tyson too. I don't know if we're
around the same age. Probably are, but the legend of
Mike Tyson and the baddest man on the planet and
the folklore around Tyson and I recall the Buster Douglas
fight happened like in the middle of the night on
the weekends. It was an odd time, as I remember,
and it was when news started filtering out, and that
(07:10):
was in the days before the interweb had had taken off,
and so it was like shocking. It was like, did
that really happen? What? What? No, there's no way, you know.
As as far as the reality of Tyson, I have
not studied it. I have to go back and look.
But I do remember Tyson fighting Tomato Cans and just
(07:34):
pummeling him into submission. That's my memory of Tyson watching
some of those fights as a kid and they're like, whoaly,
crap man. I wouldn't want to get into a street
fight with this guy. I can't remember a bigger upset
outside of the nauseating Game seven that we were at
Astros and Dodgers. Well, that was that was a sham though,
That was a cheating. I just I could not. Tyson
(07:57):
was kid dynamite. He was he was invincible, he was bulletproof. Yeah,
he was so intimidating two with those eyes. They say
styles make fights, guest gun and when you don't prepare,
that's the style and you get your ass kicked. H man,
it was and the other I love the boxing cliches
and know I was like, well, a good boxer always
beats a good puncher. Well are you are we gonna
(08:19):
say Buster Douglas is a good boxer. I wouldn't say that.
He just happened to take advantage of Tyson, who was
clearly not ready to fight. It wasn't didn't prepare and
you know Buster Douglas after that, that was it. That
was just you know he would talk about one hit
wonders right and jump right there. Yeah, that was it.
(08:42):
We need we need some good fights boxing, not the
celebrity boxing crap. I'm not really into that. But we
used to have a couple of big fights a year,
get back to that. Bring bring back the sluggers. The uh,
the swarmers bring up, bring those guys back, the brawlers. Yeah,
the brawlers, bring them, bring him back, bring him out there.
(09:03):
Let's see here, what is next page? Then we're done.
We're done. Yes, no, no, no, no no no. Jason
from Rocky mountin Virginia says, for both of you, have
you ever ridden a motorcycle or an a t V?
If so, when and where? Also, Ben, your hat should
be there whenever you check your mail. Thank you you
got you a hat? Did I misspeak? I'm reading the email.
(09:28):
I was kind of hoping he's said, both of you guys,
he sent you a hat. You don't need a hat.
You don't even wear hats. I'm wearing a hat right now. No,
you're not wearing a hat. A hat. Looking I'm looking
at you. You don't have The sun is bright. I
need the hat to cover my face. I don't see.
I don't see a hat. I have never ridden a motorcycle.
(09:49):
I'm too fat for that. But I have been on
an a t V in Hawaii, Hawaii and quiet. We
had to take a t V S two. There was
a thing you can go to the Indiana Jones Swing.
Remember that scene in Indiana Jones where he's getting chased
(10:10):
by the natives and he runs down and he jumps
on the rope and into the water to the plane. Yeah,
they that's I was filmed in Kauaii. And you can
do uh a toy They can take it like waterfalls
and things like that, and you have to drive in
a TV to get there. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I drove.
I drove a dirt bike in an a t V
on the desert. I have a few buddies that have
(10:32):
toy boxes and dune buggies and a t V s
and UH dirt bikes. I actually on the same day
I crashed both of them. Actually flipped the a t
V two. I was at a buddy of mine that
dared me to go up this massive dune and I
could not go up it. It was my first time
(10:52):
riding his and he actually said he flipped his brakes.
So the front brakes were on the left, No, the
front brakes from the right side I think it was,
and the back brakes from the left. Yeah, and I
hit the wrong one as I was going back down,
so I accidentally hit the front brake and I flipped
over the the a t V and the TV rolled
(11:13):
over me. Everyone thought I was dead, like they broke
my neck. Yeah, you know, I'm a little freaked out
our our former colleague. I don't know if you were
here when she was here, but Amy van Dyken, the
Olympic gold medal swimmer record breaker, she was on an
a t V and she got in a big accident,
right and she ended up paraplegic. But I mean that's,
(11:36):
you know, like she had a curb curb or something
like that. I forget exactly what happened with something that
happened in Arizona, but yeah, that gave me. And I'm
pretty convinced if I drove a motorcycle, be unbelievably fun
and I'd crash, and those two things would don't They
don't cross each other out, and they don't. I crashed
everything I drive, boat, a TV, dirt bike, car. Yeah,
(11:58):
some people are motorcycle guys. What I gotta tell you.
When I'm on the highways around l A here and
I see people who and they cut through the lanes,
you know you're allowed to. I mean that it's like
having a death wish to me. When you do that,
I see people get I've seen several times over used
motorcycle guys laying on the on the freeway because they've
just been dinged from someone who crossed over a little
(12:20):
bit while they were driving between the lanes. Can't do it, man.
And the other thing that I hate about motorcycle people
is when I don't mind it as much if you're
kind of lean and mean on the motorcycle, but those
massive Harley's that look like there are many cars that
drive try to drive between lanes. I think that's a
little much, little much. Bill writes in says, would you
(12:43):
ever take a morning drive gig? If offered um? Well,
as I said on a previous episode, guess I. My
belief is, uh, everyone's got a price, the magic Christian right,
Everyone's got a price, and if if they reach that price,
I would leave. I love my job. I like to
do this for many, many more years. But if somebody
(13:04):
comes and makes it rain and it would have to
be game changing money, but I would certainly do it
if I could pay my bills off and live a
very comfortable life and not have to worry about a
lot of the financial stuff, and and get a real salary,
not an overnight Sorry, I'd be be good with that.
What happens if I deliver that for you? It's highly unlikely. Well,
you kid die. I'm pretty sure brought a lot of
(13:26):
things to your table that weren't there before. I don't
know about that. John the jailer says, Ben and Gascon,
I'm having a Memorial Day party and you're invited pizza
and wings or burgers and dogs. Both burgers and not
what burgers and dogs? I just love my pizza. I
love my pizza, but holiday weekend burgers and dogs? Now?
Do you also go potato or eggs salad? Too? Uh? No,
(13:49):
I don't believe any salad, So what's wrong with you? Salad? Potail? Salad?
Always do? I don't like potato cheese burgers, A hot
dog with barberships, I do hip, I do the chips.
I do the potato chips, Friedo's. I like the FreeDOS
Finway Monster Dog, the greatest hot dog out there, wonderful.
Cliff in Nashville had a similar question. He says, Ben,
(14:11):
what's your Memorial Day barbecue go to? Uh? He says,
I know it's not the Tomahawk. Fuck you it's not
very nice say that to Cliff Wow. Kevin in Kansas writes,
since says, hey, Ben and David, I wrote you this winner,
commending the podcast for keeping me informed and entertained while
(14:34):
I jogged. Now the same thing is happening. Is I
mow yards? I was wondering if either of you mode
yards as youngsters, or what similar chores were you assigned.
I love the show, well, Kevin, Yeah, I was a lawnmower.
I vacuum That was my my chores at the house.
I was a vacuum cleaner guy, and I would occasionally
mow the lawn and my older brother were rotate. But
(14:57):
this is back in the bron age because my I
tried to find it when my pops passed away. This
lawnmower was the worst freaking lawnmower. It was a manual lawnmower,
and the blades, once they became dull, it really didn't
cut the grass very well at all. It was horrific
(15:18):
compared to the lawnmowers they have today. It was a
freaking nightmare and it took us forever and we ended
up it kept getting jammed. The thing it had these
these large long metal blades that would rotate as you
rolled the thing. It was like out of I mean
I was out of a colonial times or something like that.
(15:38):
It was insane. But yeah, I did mow of the lawn.
Are attempted to as a kid. What about you get? Yeah,
I did mowing the lawn. Um. I would paint at
the sands. Sometimes I'd have to uh with the floors,
like tiles on the floors as I put that down,
and then the sprinkler system did that installed that with
(15:59):
my pop. Yea, so did a bunch of things. David
in Simpsonville, South Carolina. Right, since for both of you,
what's the greatest athlete you have met or interviewed and
were they? Were they decent or addict to you? Uh? Well?
(16:21):
As a autograph hound, I don't know if I'm I.
I stocked Joe di Maggio. I saw the side in
the back of Joe di Maggio at a hotel in
San Diego. I don't really didn't meet him. Nolan Ryan
George Brett. I had a great memory of George Brett.
We were in high school. We followed George Brett to
(16:42):
a bar in Anaheim. George was drinking with his brother
Ken Brett, who was a broadcaster for the Angels at
the time, and we had been tipped off that Brett
was at this bar, so all those high school kids
went is on the weekend and it's like, you know,
two in the morning, closing time, and the Brett brothers
(17:02):
come stumbling out of the bar, and we were all
waiting for the autographs George Brett for you gonna be
a three thousand hit guy, gonna be a Hall of Famer,
the greatest Kansas City royal of all time. So we're
like waiting for George Brett and he comes out of
the bar completely hammered, it appeared, and he starts cursing
(17:22):
at us, like what are your kids doing here? You know,
like but then he signed everything, but the whole time
he was like giving. He was busting our balls, cursing
like well you shouldn't you guys be sleeping, And it
was hilarious. Uh, Ben, I think the greatest athlete I
ever met was actually probably one of the greatest of
all time. I actually met Gretzky a couple of times,
(17:43):
but the most recent encounter was gosh, I want to
say it was like nine ten years ago. I actually
met him in Vegas at a blackjack table and a
buddy of mine spotted him and says that gret Sky
over there. And he was at a table with his agent,
I think was the general manage at the time, Michael Barnett,
of the of the Coyotes, and they were playing blackjack together,
(18:06):
but just the two of them, and the stakes on
the table weren't that high, and he had a lot
of chips that were obviously out there. But I thought,
fuck it, I'll go play with the great one. I
was a little soft, so I sat down with him,
and he was the biggest dick. He proceeded to lose
his fucking ass. It was. It was chips getting taken
on top of chips getting taken, and and I just
(18:27):
made a comment to my buddy because he was like, Hey,
is that Gretzky And I said, yeah, that's a great
one right there, and I kind of pointed to him,
and he's just like, nothing great about me, and like
just lost another stack of chips and then just walked off,
say you lose all the bet you don't make. Now
that it's over at TNZ, be sure to catch live
(18:49):
editions of the Ben Maller Show week days at two
am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live
editions of The Ben Maller Show week days at two
am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports It's Radio
and the I Heart Radio app. But in the media,
I was telling the story about when I was a
kid getting autographs and meeting some of the players, the
old baseball players. But as in the media like I've
(19:11):
been pretty like like Jordan's John, I didn't even John
Wooden coach k Tony Gwynn, Mr podre back in the day.
What a cool what a cool guy. Tony gwyn was man,
so nice, the most down to earth superstar I had
ever met, And still to this day, Tony Gwynn like
just just the coolest guy. Uh. And then I got
(19:31):
a lot of the guys in l a shock. I
was around Kobe before he became Kobe, when he was
a rookie with the fro and yeah, and he would
hang out and uh, you know, he'd shoot the ship
with the radio guys, and he was a buddy, buddy,
my my buddy. He's a boxing reporter now from Israel,
and uh, and he was because Kobe's you know it
was an international guy. He became friends with him, and
(19:54):
it was it was cool. Uh, And I obviously I
love the broadcaster. So I got to meet a lot
of my heroes in podcasting, people I looked up to
from Afar when I was a kid, like Harry Carey. Um, uh,
you're down the list, the old Phillies broadcaster Harry Callius,
who I loved us, the voice of NFL films, and
(20:14):
I'm trying to think, the old Tiger broadcaster. What was
the guy's name, Ernie Harwell, Ernie harr I met him.
A lot of these guys they've moved on, but uh,
you know Vince Gully chickern Ralph Lawler, people like that.
So a lot of cool, cool things, all right. Next
up Pierre from Springfield, mass Pro Basketball Hall of Fame,
(20:34):
down the street from where Muffett McGraw is enshrined and says,
refresh my memory, bend. Didn't you have a caller years
ago from New Orleans that said that they were writing
a book about the show and the militia? Yes? Yes,
great show knowledge by you, Pierre, Good show knowledge by you, Pierre.
(20:55):
So what happened, uh, was so this guy would call
up sporadically from New Orleans. He was a little out
there and he always would he would would would say,
I'm writing a book, and he give us a little
taste of the chapter that he was working on, and
the book never it was he was pulling our chain
and there's no book, right And then I think guy
(21:16):
hasn't called in a long time. I don't know what
happened to him. He kind of vanished there. But the yeah,
we he used to say that, and I flirted around
with some people about writing a book, but nothing's ever materialized. Uh,
and Gascon says, I shouldn't be allowed to write a
book till I'm almost dead. So he said, I never
said that, But if you didn't say that, if you're
gonna do it, you should. You should really lay it
(21:37):
all out. And I don't think you can right now.
I believe I am held back by the man. Is
that what you're saying. Well, I just think you're in
the prime of your career. I don't think you want
to step on your dick at this moment. There's things
you can write about that you don't have to do that.
In tribute to the great Mr Moose Pierre from Springfield,
says Mr Moose, remain what be possible to rename site
(22:01):
the Bite to Mr Moose's memorial Site the Bite or
something in that vein, Well, it would be possible, but
I don't know. I mean, I think we better off
Mr Moose giving an award at the Benny's if we
can figure out where we have the Genie and Medford
Memorial Caller of the Year Awards, the greatest caller in
the history of sports radio, Genie and Medford, and we
(22:24):
do that, we honor Genie's memory. So I think something
at the Benny's we could do that. I think that
would be good. But I don't know. But that's too
wordy and I'll site the bites at Boom Site the Bite.
All Right, Valls Fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee Falls fan
Jimmy called up this week and he sounds just like
you would imagine Valls Fan Jimmy to sound like, all right,
(22:44):
I love it. I love it. Sounds like authentic Tennessee.
And he's not a fake fraud Tennessee. And he's not
one of these Californians that moved to Tennessee. This guy
is authentic. You cut him open and volunteer. Blood is
gonna come out anyway. He said, what kind of person
wears long sleeve shirts with shorts in California? Does the
sun bother you that much? Snowflake? Yeah, So I went
(23:06):
to Palm Springs last weekend Guesscon and I had some photos.
And of course I always tell the wife, I say,
whatever I wear, I will be mocked for and it
happens ad percent of the time. Vanity people love to
attack your vanity. But yeah, I was in Popsting. It
wasn't actually all that hot. It was only like in
the low eighties or the mid eighties and Palm Springs,
(23:27):
which is not hot. For Palm Springs. I've been out
there when it's a hundred and twenty and so it
wasn't that hot. And uh yeah, I mean we uh
you wore the shirt and I had some shorts on
and we went around, took a bunch of photos and
all that. So uh interesting, What else do we have?
Let's see page down here. Neil from Miami says, God
(23:50):
Sad interview was awesome. You are now one degree away
from Joe Rogan. I used to see doctor Sad on
Rogan all the time before Rogan got is one million
dollars and disappeared off YouTube. I am a Ukrainian Jew
escape ee from the Soviet Union. How about that moment?
At that I grew up in a town designated as
(24:12):
a Jewish ghetto during the World War two period by
Germans as liquidation ghetto for East Romanian Jews. Wow about
that one my grandparents, Neil says, I lived through the Holocaust. Obviously,
since I am typing here concentration camps. Uh paternal side
(24:33):
saw his family killed. Uh in a mass grave. My
paternal grandfather and his brother pretended to be dead in
mass graves and then ran away from the town where
I grew up. That would have been a hell of
a story to hear. Holy sh it hid there for
a while. Um, But we're found anyway. But many of
us immigrants, immigrants and Jews from the Old Country or
(24:56):
Middle East are not fans of identity politics and totally
behind reasonable intellectuals like Gad Sad who are fighting from
behind enemy lines. That's quite the story, Neil, Uh and
I did well. I didn't. The family did the DNA
test and my A lot of my ancestors are from
(25:22):
the Ukraine that area. But it was Russia when they
lived there, and I imagine the timeline on that they
moved because of because of the World War two and whatnot.
But then some of my family was here before World
War Two. But yeah, and then I had a grandmother
on my mom's side who was born in Chernobyl. I
(25:42):
can't really go back there. I can't go back there
to Chernobyl. I can't go back and see the old house.
You know, it's not not not allowed. Yeah. I I
don't get the the identity politics thing either. It just
blows my mind. I I don't know how we've we've
gotten to that point. But hopefully it's just a phase.
(26:04):
We hope it's just a phase and the dumb people
will not be listened to. Uh, let's see you. Neil
also says big men, what happened to your documentary recommendation?
Your tip on Operation Odessa was awesome. My family actually
knew the guy. We grew up near real Odessa, Ukraine.
We went to his restaurant a few times here in
(26:24):
Sunny Aisles. He lives a mile from it now in Miami.
My aunt went there, went to the dude's wife's funeral, etcetera. Wow,
says I'm watching Fall of the Cabal. Not easy to find.
What is your pick? Uh? Well, yeah, I can give
you the standard documentary the Big Board of documentaries, because
(26:49):
I do have some of my favorite documentaries guests on that.
I I don't often go back and watch them and
all that. But my favorite documentary operational odessa uh this
super Mensch super mench that's several years old supersize me too.
We talked about that on this show. The Dark Side
documentary very good about doping in sports. I also we
(27:14):
like that Make Millions one that was on not that
long ago. That was very good as well. Those are
my favorite was that three four? Is that five? I
think his operational deaths Superman's Superman supersize Me two? Oh
not six? Actually, I think is it now? It's five point?
They said there would be no Man operational. That's a
(27:34):
supermnch supersize me two. That's three dark Side and mcmillions
that's five. There you uh, let's see here. Uh So
this is also I think from Neil says Gascon. Given
your connection to the military in the so Cal area,
you told the story of your birthday bash. But what's
(27:55):
your favorite related war story for Memorial Day weekend. I
spent nearly five years, and I spent year the five
years in San Diego, Oceanside Carlsbad area thousand two as
I was stationed at Camp Pendleton and would love to
relive some stories of Pacific Beach, t J gas Lamp,
etcetera wants he wants some gascon stories. I can only
(28:20):
give you one bat on, so I guess I'll give
it to you. Um. When I lived down in San Diego,
I kind of met my way into a bunch of
guys that were in the military. A lot of them
were Navy rats, and they were all um, they're all discharged,
so now they were all working in different lines of work,
(28:41):
and there was about twelve of us. And typically in
San Diego it's either Mission Valley that people go to
downtown or Pacific Beach. If you're older, you go to
obi Um. But during the holidays or during special events
in Pacific Beach, there's a main street called Garnet and
they would just block off that entire street because all
it was filled with was bars and and shops. And
(29:05):
so they used to have an event annually called the
PB Block Party, and they'd bring the vendors into the
middle of the streets for beer, food, drinks, anything else
that you wanted, candy, all the other stuff. And so
I went down there with with all these guys. There
was like probably ten or eleven of us, and we
were drinking the entire day. But after the p B
(29:26):
block party was broken up, we split for some reason,
Like a couple of guys went with some girls. A
couple of guys went to want to go to a bar,
and I went with a buddy of mine and I
think one other dude and we went to his sister's
um a house party. This house party was massive, a
lot of things going on. People are drinking all over
(29:47):
the place, but with alcohol rising and tensions getting kind
of high, um there was some There were some guys
there that were were acting tough and acting big and
brave and talking ship and my buddy sister or I
wanted to kick them out. So she tried kicking It
was all outside, but she wanted to kick them off
the property. And so she went up to one of
(30:08):
the guys. It was like, you need to leave, and
the guy was a total dick to her, and she
snapped at him and she's like, you know, you know,
fuck you you short ship or something like that. And
the guy was short and obviously a small man complex
he you know, he's like, fuck you can't. And he
had a beer and and he threw a punch at her.
(30:31):
And as soon as he threw a punch, I was
right next to him. I threw my beer on him,
and then I jumped on top of him and I
tried kicking his ass. All of a sudden, I got
on top of him, I got gang tackled by a
bunch of dudes, was put into a choke called nearly
a knocked unconscious um beaten down, and I was by myself.
(30:54):
It turned out like my buddy and the other guys
were kind of near the scene, but they weren't in
the middle of the rap, and so I was just
getting pummeled while I'm holding on this one guy and
hitting him. And then the fight was over. I'm like
a bloody mess. And it turned out that these dudes
were all in Bud's training. They were all in training
(31:14):
to be Navy's seals, and they were a couple of
them were like hanging around the property. But the one
guy that hit my buddy's sister a cop rolled up
a female cop like half of our size. That ship
you not. He tried taking her down because he was hammered,
and she ducked a punch and then dropped him with
an elbow and then arrested him. The worst part was
(31:37):
all these guys got detained, and then twenty minutes later,
like a sergeant or a captain showed up and uncuffed
all of them and they all left. How to go
to the hospital get stitches and all we gotta pick
up the pace. Guess I got a limited time. It's
a great story. You want to pick at the pace now?
I mean we're getting the full dance remix there. I mean,
(31:58):
my god, how dare you? How about brevity? Jeez? Alright? Uh?
Blind Seahawk fan Emmett and Olympius says, what's the most
awkward situation you guys have been put into on radio?
I interviewed a guy that the producer told me that
the wrong name of the guest. Didn't know that until
that happened. I've also had alcohol consumption on the air.
That's odd. There's been a lot of odd things. Ross
(32:20):
writes in says love the show. I am a day
walker and listen to the Overnight Show via podcast daily
along with this dedicated program. The two of you are
the pencil hole of light in the dark tunnel of
woke cancelation. There you go. That's good, that's poetry. Ross says,
whatever you do, don't freaking stop. One request for gascon
(32:43):
please in the name of the Holy Trinity and Commander
Gascon Effort. The greatest college football radio announcer in the
modern era, Eli Gold, the voice of the Alabama Crimson Tie. Yeah.
I like to talk to Eli Gold. He's good. That
guy is good. I love people that are good at
their jobs. Uh. He says. I was a journalist in
(33:06):
the past life men and interviewed him several times. That
you won't be disappointed for lack of content that you go.
Thank you, Ross, I appreciate that. Here's one from Allen
in Tulsa, Oklahoma's has been you need to come here
to see the Drillers, which is an l A Dodger
franchise minor league team, and see the ballpark which has
huge pictures of divers that made it from there, or
(33:28):
he said, divers that even Dodgers. It says divers here.
David keeps giving you a hard time about working from home,
and this is about it's gonna get good. So it
says guscon gives you a hard time about working home.
But the other night when Jason Smith said to him
that he might split time when all is back to normal,
there was no argument, like with you. Interesting, I didn't
(33:49):
push back against Jason Smith. Huh. You're okay with Jason
Smith working from home but not me? Huh, Well, I
mean it's his show. It's a little bit different. I
I only fill in on that show sometimes I'm not
here on the podcast, or I'm here on the podcast
all the time. Ye know what. I think the plan
will be eventually to have a split situation. That'll be
(34:10):
the plan going forward. We'll see that what goes on,
says Ben. Also, Alan says Ben, you you should get
uh any agger? Is that how I say your name
on your podcast? She does funny football zoom call sketches.
I don't know who that is. Do you know who
that is? But Tulsa's college football team is pretty good too. Yeah?
What else do we have? Let's see here? Sarah in
(34:32):
Minnesota's I really enjoyed the interview with the Dr Sad
A breath of fresh air. Like all your shows, I've
been trying to review. I've googled how to review. You've
described how to review. Just go to Apple podcast, The
Real Fifth Hour, et cetera. Have you actually tried to
do this? It doesn't work for me. I have an
Apple iPhone eleven. I think you should just have Sarah
(34:56):
email me directly and we can talk and I'll walk
her through the Wow Bill Cosby over there, she says,
talk to me like, I'm five years old, so I
have a five in my age, but there might be
an extra digit. Uh so go ahead there, guess help
(35:17):
her out. Just YouTube it. She did some some screen
captures here. She says, Uh, we're listening on I Heart,
but to try to review. I listened on Apple podcast.
See the screen capture there, and there's some photos. I
don't think we have time to get into this right now.
But what what you you have access to the email?
Why don't you write back? She wrote to the show
(35:37):
email Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. A little,
you know, a little tied up when I read those interesting? Interesting, interesting? Interesting?
What else do we have here? This is from Helen
and Stu and Palmetto Bay Retired Transplants from n y
C and your new biggest podcast fans in Miami. How
(36:01):
about that? Thank you, Helen and stew looks like we're
out of time on this podcast. Wrap this up? What
do you say? A lha spreading the good Oh, this
is the one you're up to, spreading the good word
for both shows in the air everywhere. I saw David's
actor profile online and I was shocked but not surprised
that he named badminton as an athletic skill. As Stu laughed,
(36:24):
no real man west of the four oh five with
a man card would list badminton as a sport. Listen,
what kind of dipship would not acknowledge the other things
I identified as more disturbing, more combat chemo sabi, more disturbing.
When asked on his profile if he would appear nude
in his scene, David checked yes, Yes. Ben, Nobody, including
(36:48):
including David's dad, wants to see David naked. Wow, you
get a few female listeners that wouldn't mind question. In
order to keep his job as your Fifth Hour co host,
will guest gon Val to never appear nude in a scene. Helen,
just a heads up if you are shirtless in a
scene that's considered nudity. Jesus. She also said grocery shopping,
(37:11):
I walked by the little smokey section and immediately thought
of David gascon on your undersized fifth hour cost or,
as my husband and his golf pal say, the mench
and the stench. That is a great line, the mench
and the stench. If we were like Barstool and we
(37:33):
made T shirts, that would be like a perfect T shirt. Yeah,
wouldn't that be great? Something tells me I'd give her
the best five minutes she's had in quite a while. Wow,
look at that, you're gonna still come on, man, come on?
Helen's like she please Carlos and Bang Bang Houston says,
I know they lovely. Tammy Montana is the mother Teresa
(37:54):
the Ben Maller Show. I see it's time for her
to do a wellness check on helmet man. It's been
a while, and I hope he's doing okay. Also, if
you're not planning on eating that steak and your freezer,
can you send it to Marcel and Brooklyn does. My
question for you guys is what's the longest drive you
guys have made. I think we've answered that right we've
like San Francisco or Phoenix or someone like that for us. Yeah. Uh,
(38:16):
David writes and says, whatever happened to Spokane Gary? Is
he still around listening to your show? I came across
some of Pittsburgh Pete or Pete and Pittsburgh's clips thought
about the old days. Uh yeah, Well some sad news, David.
Our our guy Spokane Gary, who used to call up
and bust my ball, saying Dale Murphy for the Hall
of Fame. Uh. Gary passed away a couple of years back.
(38:37):
I got a message from one of his relatives, and
he was quite a character. And Spokane Gary. You talk
about the pillars of the Ben Mallow Show. In the
early days, it was Pete and Pittsburgh, Spokane Gary. These
were my guys, uh and Troy the gambling Man, MotorCity
Mike Uh. We had Jehadas John in in Michigan. These
(38:58):
these were guys that were really the backbone of what
became the Mallard militia. But we we did lose Spokane
Gary a couple of years ago. He was quite the
quite the character on the show. We miss him. Barry
in Nashville rights and says Yo Yo Ma Benny, I
should have explained that yo yo ma is my greeting
and salutations. It means great show, love listening, hope you're
(39:20):
doing well. Rush Limball had ditto. To save time, I
think you need a greeting from all the callers so
they don't waste time saying how you doing and then
the awkward pauses that come about after they say yo
yo ma. They go right into their call. He says,
I'm sleeping when you take a live calls, Hopefully someone
in the Malla militia steps up and gets the ball rolling. Well,
(39:40):
if people want to embrace that yo yo ma, you know,
there you go. I would it would be okay with that,
you know, No, not a bad idea. You don't seem
excited about that. I'm not usually awake from that show.
But well, John is not happy though, John. This guy
John in St. Louis says, I'm a big fan of
your show, probably your most loyal listener in St. Louis.
But you're ready. Yeah, I wish you would dial down
(40:05):
the political stuff, the wocal roddy or how you don't
really think COVID is that serious? Did I ever say
COVID is not that serious? That I say that, and
it's not as serious that the media is making it
out to be right, I mean out of context quotes
last night, he said, quoting me from the show, says,
last night, yeah, you said the media fact checks Trump
but not Biden. It's the same principle when I go
(40:27):
to a bar in public um here to watch a
game and he's upset that I, well, am I wronging up?
But didn't the Washington Post to have a fact checker
for Trump, but they got rid of it for Biden. Yeah,
it's I I'm not making that up. I mean, you
might like to hear that jump, but I'm not making
it up. I think it's the equivalent of you speed
dialing somebody and someone just dialing the number by hand,
(40:49):
right like eric code telephone number. There is fact checkers
that were there all the time for Trump and for Biden.
They literally circle back anyway, So John Lissen, I hope
you listen to the show, John, But that's it. We
gotta get out of here, guest, and I got things
to do, places to go see. All right, we'll take here.
Have a great rest of your Sunday. I'll be on
tonight on the Overnight even though it's a holiday, I
(41:10):
will be slaving away over the microphones. Will catch you
next time. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Ben Meller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app
Host
Ben Maller
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