October 8, 2021 • 40 mins
A FOX family member describes his journey from the basement to the penthouse all while driving through a storm to see his risk pay off.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ka boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now. Morning madness in the
air everywhere. Well go man, the beginning of another edition
of The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard. That would be
me flying solo today, but not flying solo because this
(00:45):
is a Friday podcast, and that means an opportunity to
catch up with one of our friends, one of our
our buddies in radio, and a morning drive sensation of
the Fox Sports Radio Nation. And this just get right
into it here. No small talk. I'm not a small
talk guy. Jonas Knox. Now, Jonas used to work on
(01:08):
my show. He said just about every job you could
have at Fox Sports Radio over the years. But he
is the newest edition the company. A couple of weeks
ago hired a Jonas full time. He had been filling
in once Clay Travis left to replace the Great Rush
Limbaugh and Jonas is our new morning guy. I mean
you probably know that now if you're listening to me,
(01:28):
you know who Jonas is. And Jonas has done some
overnights on the weekends, and as I said, he worked
on my show. He's worked all over the clock. He's
been the fill in guy, you name it, and Jonas
has done it is he has certainly paid his dues.
And now he is the lead host on Two Pros
(01:48):
and a Cup of Joe in the Morning with the
aforementioned uh Jonas Knox and LaVar Arrington and Brady quinn
As they all work together on the morning Drive on
Fox Sports Radio, and I'm the leading to those guys.
But I'm excited to have Jonas on here and welcome Jonas,
(02:11):
and it's good to have you here. Congratulations on the gig.
And how has your life changed in amazing and magical
ways now that you are a morning drive host, morning
drive syndicated host, that's a big deal. How have things changed, Jonas?
I mean, to be honest with you, the first producing
(02:35):
shift that I ever did at Fox Sports Radio was
as an assistant producer for Zack and Jack in this
exact time slot and I can remember the great Annie's
that they're VI's telling me when she called me up
to say, hey, we want to we want to make
you the assistant producer so you can be there for
that show, uh and be there in studio, And I
(02:56):
remember her telling me, you know it is gonna be
a lifestyle change, and that it's not going to be
that much of a lifestyle change. And then you start
waking up at one am and you realize, oh no, no, no,
it's over. Whatever life you thought you knew before. You
can go ahead and you put a bowl on it.
You can close the cop and on that. That is
a wrap the old Let's go to happy hour and
(03:17):
if you're feeling frisky, let's go to late night bowling.
Those days are dead. If you don't get to bet
at a certain amount of time, you walk around like
a zombie the rest of the day. But what it
did teach me is getting as used to the time
slot as you possibly could, and then to go from
that to then working with Andy Furman and ar Charles
Hawkins and then Andy Ferman and Mike North and getting
(03:41):
to actually fill in on this show at other times
before the time the time slot would throw a lot
of people off. But you know this because we've worked
in weird time slots all over the network. Once you
start doing it a few times, it becomes your normal
routine and it's not that crazy. You just can't partake
(04:01):
in some of the other things that people with normal
nine to five jobs can partake in. Yeah, exactly. I
mean people say I have bad hours, but you know,
compared to you know you, I mean, you're doing a
morning drive show, but you're on the West Coast and
it's an East Coast morning drive show, so it's it's
a little backwards. And I think that in the history
(04:21):
of Fox Sports Radio, I'm a bit of a historian
when it comes to not with the Lakers, but when
it comes to Fox Sports Radio, Jonas and Night, I'm
pretty sure that you're the first morning show that's mostly
based on in l a in the studio because he
usually it's been I mean, I go way back to
like Steve Zaban when he did it from d C
(04:42):
and some of the you mentioned many of the other
guys that have done the morning show, but it's usually
been somebody either in the Midwest or on the East Coast.
And so what is a day in the life, like
because you just mentioned you can't live the life that
you once live. You're married now though, of course you
can't do that Jonas. But uh, of course weak weak
not but uh but like I, I have a weird schedule. Well,
(05:05):
well you have. I mean, when you sleep, what's what's
a day in the life. So what I do is
I learned just from working in this time slot that
if I try and wake up it's say two AM
for a three am show on the West Coast, it
just ain't happening. So I figured out, when I was
producing it years and years and years ago, I would
(05:27):
wake up at midnight or about twelve fifteen, twelve thirty,
and I would get a workout in. So I would
work out. I would do a workout, and I would
do cardio and that would usually go for an hour
or so and anywhere between an hour to an hour fifteen.
And once I got my body moving like that, then
(05:49):
all of a sudden, you start getting your head right.
And you're getting your head right for the show. But
you start getting your head right, you've had your fully hydrated,
because you know, I'm a water junkie, so I drink
a bunch of water, you've got a good sweat in,
you've got a bunch of energy, you drink some coffee,
and you're ready to rock. And then and then and
then all is well, and then you know, at about
(06:10):
I would say probably six fifteen to six thirty Pacific
time is usually about the time that I'm dozing off
as I passed to Soto on the one on one,
and then I realized, all right, you know, why don't
I go ahead and steer back into traffic so I
don't go over the side here. But no, it's it's
you know, it's rough at times, but I try and
get my naps in the whole, you know, seven eight
(06:33):
hours sleep, I don't know. Listen, if anybody out there
is getting seven and eight hours sleep, I don't know. Man.
If I sleep longer than five or six hours, I
wake up and my back is killing me, I don't.
I mean, it just doesn't feel right. So I'm used
to being pretty on the go. Um, Naps help, Coffee helps, uh,
(06:53):
staying hydrated helps, and you know, not you know, not
licking the lid or bending the elbow or sucking them back,
you know, during the week I think probably helps out
as well too. But yeah, it's just it's it's anything, man.
You just try and get used to it as best
you can, and you know you're trying to screw up
or but you know, I remember it years ago when
(07:15):
I was I briefly worked in morning radio for a
very short time, and it I'm not a morning person.
I wish I was, because usually that's where the money
is in radio in the mornings and all that, but
I'm not. And so I tried. I tried to make
it like an overnight thing where I just stay up
all night and then I'd go to bed at like
ten thirty in the morning. And that did not go
(07:38):
well that. There's several just like as you were joking around,
I mean I got almost every day. It was almost
an accident on the way home. I was like, no,
I'll be fine, you know, a little problem. I mean,
I'll just make it like an overnight show. And it
was it was, oh, listen, you turn into Tony Larusa.
You fall asleep and stop like you know, but you don't.
You don't have an eight team back everything exact. You like,
(08:01):
look your your honor, I promise you if you want
to look at my you know, check my blood alcohol level.
At that point, I could I could assure you I
did not need to roll through the red light with
full traffic there. It was just, uh, you know, that's
that's part of the job. But but now it's and
and here's here's the other thing with me. And I'm
a sick, sick bastard. I always I cannot do anything
(08:26):
unless I the first thing I have to do every
single day is get a workout in. I have to
like it. Literally, if if I don't do that, then
I feel like I'm behind, and so my my mentality
and I'm a psychopath like this is. I love the
feeling of working out first thing in the morning, in
(08:47):
the pitch black, even if I didn't need to get up.
I used to listen. I would listen to Clay Travis's
show because I would be going to the gym. Back
before you know, Warden K. Newsome shut of Staticus in
the wreck Yard for our entire life. But back when
gyms were open, I I remember listening to to Clay
Travis and going back and forth, and I loved the
(09:08):
feeling of knowing that every person I passed by after
I left the gym was lazier than me for whatever reason.
That's just how like I'm a sick bastard and in
my mind psychology wise, so getting getting a head start
like that, Like I've always been a big fan. I've
always loved morning, so I feel it's a great way
to get things going. And then you start doing the
(09:30):
math and you realize, you know, just because you wake
up four hours earlier than a normal human being, but
you end up sleeping at a better four hour window
later on of the day. You guys are pretty much
even like you. You're just you're trying to trick yourself.
Like if you're not, you don't really have any sort
of competitive edge. Yeah, but as far as the working out,
I mean, you actually do work out. My idea of
a workout is going on the treadmill and and walking.
(09:53):
But I I used to love before King Newsom shut
down the state of California and the gyms and all that.
Now and I haven't I haven't been back. I used
to love going to the gym because you know, it
was it was great in the gym was open. I
went to twenty four hour Fitness and they were open.
They're not even open twenty four hours anymore. And I
would go. I would do the overnight show, and then
I would stop on my way way home, either at
(10:15):
the one across the street from the station, or i'd
go to one where I was living. And you know,
it was great because i'd hang, i'd work out. By
the time I got there was like, you know, four
am or whatever, and I work out and all these
the old folks would come in right the wearing their
sneakers and all that, the gray hairs. They had no
idea who I was. And it was great. I loved it.
(10:36):
And you know, why would they, I mean, radio guy,
But but it was awesome and I'm friends and all that. Wait,
you know, I knew all the old people at the
gym and then it all ended one day. Yeah it's
and listen, uh. And and there are windows, there's pockets
of people because I've gone to the gym at all
hours of the day, and I can tell you starting
at about minutes so you'll get your people in there,
(10:58):
and around eleven forty five midnight. From from about midnight
to one am, it's people that like to work out
late for whatever reason. They work, you know, jobs, and
they're working a night shift. And then there's this sweet
spot from about one thirty to three thirty, and you
get gothic people, and you and you, and you get
(11:22):
and you get strippers. And I'm not kidding you. And
I've always said this, I'm not good at a lot,
but but I can spot a couple of things right away.
I can spot a closet degenerate gambler, and I can
spot an off duty stripper from a mile away. I
have a cent. It is a god given ability. It's
one of my only god given abilities. When when you're
(11:43):
on when you're on a treadmill, okay, when you're on
the elliptical, it's and it's two fifteen in the morning,
and you've got eyeliner on, come on, come on, come on,
you you a me home? What the Andy Furman's favorite quote.
(12:03):
You can Yeah, I was born. I was born to night,
but not last night. Not last night. Yeah. Well the
other thing too. I would I usually would go, like,
you know, four in the morning, and i'd leave by
the time the morning rush kind of came into people
that had real nine to five jobs that we work out.
But occasionally I would go in the evening and it
was like the club. It was like, you know, there
(12:25):
were a bunch of women like I don't know, I
don't think they were strippers, but they were. They were
wearing makeup trying to, you know, get get the eye
of a guy or and vice versa man. It was
like it was like a club in the evening time
after work. I've never understood going to a gym to
try and pick up on somebody, like I've never like,
when I go to the gym, the last thing I
want to do is talk to anybody. I don't want
(12:47):
to talk to anybody like That's people don't understand this.
They look at what we do and they go and look,
we are very we're blessed and lucky to get to
do what we do, like we're really really lucky. But like,
the one thing people understand it is if you work
three hours or four hours, like the weekend overnight show
is four hours, all right, So you do four hours
(13:07):
five days a week, which is crazy, and people don't
understand that. You know, they go, oh, well, you're just
working four hours. I work eight to night hours of
my job, okay, but you're not having to talk the
entire time, okay. And you and I are cut from
the same cloths where we actually care about doing good radio,
which is why we don't just want to fill up
our entire show with a bunch of guests, because because
(13:30):
we want to kick our feet up and and so
when you when I leave the show on Friday nights,
the last thing I want to do is talk to anybody.
Like my my wife could be in the middle of
telling me we just won the lotto, and I would
tell her leave me alone for the next eight hours.
Like I don't want to talk to anybody. I just
(13:51):
want to be left. So just the idea of going
to the gym and sparking up a conversation with somebody,
I just is not not appealing to me. I'm sick
of my voice at that point. I'm sick of hearing myself.
I'm tired, and I just I've never understood people that
can can roll up on somebody and start trying to,
you know, pick up a date. I never got. Well,
you're absolutely appreciating the choir Jonas, and we are very
(14:13):
similar in that respect. And uh, you know, I don't
know your wife that much. I obviously met her at
the wedding. I know she's a big talker. My wife
is great because when I on the weekend. She loves
to talk, and so I'm like people in the family,
they're like, you don't really work in radio, you don't
you don't know. I just sit there and you know,
look at my phone or the TV. I don't want
(14:34):
to and and the other thing. It's funny. We were
at an event last week and the guy we were,
you know, small talk, and I hate doing small talk.
I don't like that either, but you know, I was.
I was trying to be polite. I think I was
a nice guy. And so then it got to the
point of what you do for a living. And so
at this point I pivoted and uh, and I said,
(14:56):
I'm in sales. Because we really are in sales. Jonas
were the most important in part, as John Sterling said
on this podcast, is to sell the soup. So I'm like,
I'm a sales guy. And the guy looks at me.
It's like, you don't talk, you can't be in sales.
I'm like, no, I I am. Because you know what,
it nevibly, inevitably will happen if I could talk. Is
when you when you say you're in radio, and then
(15:17):
you say you're in sports radio, what's the next question
you get Jonas, it's what are your thoughts on this? Yeah,
who's gonna win the Super Bowl? Who's gonna win the
World Series? What do you think of the Lakers? And
I was like, I don't want to deal with it.
I don't want to deal with it. And so I
always sales. I when I had the website, when I
did the Ben Mallay dot com thing, I don't I'm
(15:38):
an internet guy. I'm a programmer on the Internet, but
I don't do that anymore. So I always my default
is sales say kind of in the conversation. I swear
to God, I'm not even embellishing this. I have done
this before, and I've done it in front of uh
family and friends who look at me like, why what
a weird thing to lie about. I've had people say so,
so what do you do? Like, oh, you know, work,
(16:01):
just work, you know, hang out, just already work. And
when they say where do you work, I'm like, all right,
we'll good because I say, oh, Sherman Oaks. And then
if if we get the stage three of the lie
and they go, oh, what do you do out there?
I go, oh, I just work, you know, my bunch
of office buildings. I've done that multiple times because I just,
(16:22):
first of all, I don't think I'm interesting at all,
and I think I think what other people do is
so much more interesting than me. I could sit and
watch the Food Network the entire day. I think it's
fascinating what they do, the way they put stuff together,
the way they the way I just I think, like,
I love talking to people about what they do because
I just have no interest in talking about myself. I
(16:44):
think there's nothing appealing, there's nothing interesting. I would rather
it's like when people call in and they're actually working,
doing security or driving across the road. I love hearing
what their work day is, like, Hey, so what do
you doing? If they're tossing papers, if they're like whatever,
it is like, so, what's going on there right now?
(17:04):
What do you got going on? Because I'm I'm legitimately interested.
I'm not interested in anything I got going on, so
I know what I got going on. I'm a slap dick,
right there's going on, but I'm interested in what they
got going on. And uh and yeah, I just And
people sometimes might take that for you know, awkwardness, or
it's to me, it's just when you do this and
(17:27):
you're talking as much as we do. Sometimes you just
want to listen. You don't have anything to say. Yeah, no,
it's weird. I I agree, and I occasionally I'll go out.
My kitchen has been all messed up this this last
couple of months. I've been moved. I moved and so
that I've been able to eat at home. And so,
you know, I know, you eat healthy jonas, you you
eat a King's diet, but I occasionally will stray and
(17:50):
eat fast food. And I I love raising canes. And
I was at raising cans. It was it was just slammed.
And I'm looking at these people who are not making
a lot of money putting food together, busting their ass,
and I'm thinking they're working hard. I know rich people.
I've been fortunate enough to meet some really wealthy people
that have high paying jobs that don't work as hard
and don't have as much stress as the person at
(18:12):
the fast food joint putting the fried chicken together and
the fries and all that. It's crazy. It's it's it's
look I worked. I mean, I have worked at so
many different places. T G I Friday's. Uh, you know,
I you know, wash dishes at a place in Charleston
while I was on the radio at night, which, let
me tell you something you want to know humbling. Humbling
(18:33):
is when you're doing the morning show in Charleston, South Carolina,
and then you show up to your restaurant job later
on at night, and as you walk, as you walk
into the kitchen to wash dishes, you hear sporting news
radio and guys like Arnie Span your Tim Remember Tim Montemyer,
I do. I worked with I worked with him at
(18:54):
the in l A. He was an l A radio guy. Yeah,
And I remember one of the guys in the kitchen
as I'm getting ready to wash dishes because because it's
market eighty three and no joke, every two weeks from
my full time radio job, by the way, full time
meaning in a small market, I'm the anchor, I'm the host,
(19:14):
I'm the co host on the board op, I'm the
imaging guy on the producer. You've got to learn how
to do everything, which is great because it helped me
anywhere I got later on. But I remember I made
seven hundred and forty four dollars every two weeks after taxes, right,
that was my pay every after taxes seven or forty
four dollars. I remember walking into the kitchen at this place,
(19:35):
I think it was called Sesame and I've got which
mall in North Charleston. And remember as I walked in,
one of the guys says to be as the radio
is played, Hey, what are you on here this morning? Like?
You know what? Thank you? Yes, you're that is accurate? Correct?
(19:56):
Can you you you were on? Can you wash my dishes?
That you? Yeah? Can you put away the plates? Can
you get me a new spatula? It? But I got
a little grind on it. Well you know, now how
many years ago you've been this many years ago you
were in Charleston, right. My my niece is actually going
to college in Charleston, South Carolina. Saw she's she's in
(20:19):
college college. She's she's at Charleston. So she's she's at
the the old the old School. Any restaurant recommendations are okay,
well you go to Charleston. Um. Now there's the reason
why I asked what school is because in Charleston it's
like a closet, really fun party town. So you've got
(20:41):
you've got college at Charleston obviously, which is in downtown.
That's where she got Charleston. You got, you got Charleston Southern,
which is at North Charleston, and I lived right up
the road from there, you know, and I could I
started to figure out as I tried to get more
and more people to come over and hang out when
I would go out, nobody seemed to want to go
to North Charleston. I couldn't figure out why. And then
I saw a report that it was voted the eighth
(21:03):
most dangerous city in the US. And there I was okay, well, no, no, no,
wonder one bedroom was five fifty dollars. Now makes sense.
But you go, So there's that, and then there's the Citadel,
which is the military school. Um and uh and so
that's also in downtown Charleston. Anywhere on Market Street, King Street. Uh,
(21:25):
those are always fun. Uh. In surrounding areas. If you
can go to a mount Pleasant has got some good
spots out there. Um, where's some other one. Fawley Beach
is a good place to go. I can get after
a little bit. But yeah, I can remember just walking
around because I didn't have any friends out there. I
didn't know anybody, and so I would bar hot by myself.
(21:46):
And the one problem with bar hoping by yourself is
when you don't have conversation to break up SIPs to
your drinks, you get absolutely mangled in about an hour.
I can I can remember. I can were walking through Charleston,
hammered and trying not to trip over my feet on
the cobblestone walkways, and I'm thinking, man, this is like
(22:08):
seventeen century stuff. This is like historic. You know, there's
people that probably fought and died for these lands. And
here I am wreaking the booze and I just got
here forty five minutes ago because I don't know what
damn single person here, and I've only got about thirty
dollars to spend, including the cab right to get back
(22:28):
to North Charleston because I make so little money in
my quote unquote dream job. But it was a great time,
fun times all the way through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,
I hear. And when I when your name comes up, though, Jonas,
the one thing that people often bring up is Chuck E. Cheese,
the cartoon rodent that you famously wore the costume. Was
(22:52):
this a right? And you've told me the story. I
was this a part time thing? Was this were you
filling in you said the kids were terrible. Yeah, they're
they're awful. They're there, and let me tell you, Like, uh,
so here's what happened. So I grew up poor, so
we always had to have jobs. So there was you know,
(23:14):
we didn't I never got an allowance of my entire
life anything we wanted, Like we had to have jobs,
like you were poor. And so from the earliest, like
I was a janitor at an elementary school when I
probably wasn't old enough to be a janitor in an
elementary school. Like I was, like, I did anything I could.
I was in high school and I needed a job,
(23:36):
and my buddy said, hey, Chuck E Cheese just opened
up and they were paying like more than minimum wage.
And minimum wage was like five seventy five or whatever
it was back then. Chuck E Cheese was paying like
six oh five. And if you could get twenty cents more,
I mean, at the time, you're thinking, man, this is fantastic.
(23:56):
So nobody nobody signs up to be the damn rat. Okay,
nobody signs up to dress like a giant stuffed animal
and get abused by a bunch of spore little brats.
Nobody wants that but you get there and everybody's got
to take turns doing it, and so you know, you
gotta you gotta clean up birthday parties, and you gotta
(24:19):
throw stuff away and bus tables, and you know, to
work the game machine and sweep up and do all
these things. And then every everybody, depending on the shift,
takes turns doing Chucky. And I think it was like
twice an hour maybe or once an hour. It's it's
basically the you know, the national updates at Fox Sports Radio,
and that's that's when Chucky takes takes stage twice an hour.
(24:40):
And so I remember the first time they had me
do it. I wanted to make my buddy laugh. And
when you dance up on the stage, it goes up
on the blue screen on all the little TVs around
the restaurant, and so I knew that he was watching,
and nobody knew that it was me. So I was
doing remember the Jamal Anderson Dirty Birds? Oh yeah, that,
(25:03):
Oh yeah, I did. I did that. I would like
the the the Akey Shuffle, I did the shot. Did
you do the river? Did you do the river danceco
River Dance? Oh? Like anything I could come up. So
at one point I was doing ravishing rick rude. When
I started getting really really caught, like cocky about it.
(25:24):
I started doing ravishing rick rude, which is the hip gyration,
and then I would I would rub my hands against
my chest and act like I was throwing sweat at
people's face like it was so I was. I started
going over there because I just thought, all this is temporary,
and then all of a sudden they just kept me
doing it, and it would be like a month, and
then a month and a half and then two and
(25:45):
finally I'm like, man, like, I'm getting tired of this
because you're walking around it's hot as balls inside the costume.
You get you get these little spoiled brats whose parents
only are having a birthday party there because they don't
want to have to clean up the mess and chuck
e cheese serves beer. So you got Dad's walking around.
(26:06):
They at one point, Dad's just decide, are we we're
no longer gonna you know, walk around with the picture
of beer and poured into a glass. They're just drinking
straight from the picture at this point. So they're they're
they're getting annihilated, and you're and I can remember multiple
times I remember a kid, and you can't talk. So
the whole time this is happening, you can't talk through
the mask. You're not allowed to see them, you know,
(26:27):
show you just gotta be goofy and you gotta do
all this. I remember this kid, and I didn't see
him until the last second, but I remember seeing out
at the corner of my mask, this giant mask. This
kid runs up and he hits me as hard as
he can in the balls, I mean direct shot one. Yeah,
he didn't get one, he got both and and And
(26:49):
I got to give him credit for the accuracy because
he was able to do that through the suit, through
the fake stomach, lining, through all of it. And I
remember I bent down. I was down, like I had
literally hand on my knees and my buddies acting like
he's not talking to me. So he comes over and
pretends like he's sweeping the floor and he's got like
the little dust pan out and he's swooping in and
he's like, hey man, you're all right, And I just
(27:11):
started cursing as loud as like, and I'm like, I'm
all this Sam effort and him, I'm all, I'm all,
I'm literally gonna go drag his dad outside and beat
his and and at the top of my leves and
I'm literally looking for the kid's dad. I was pissed
and so and so all this is happening. This kid,
(27:34):
like you know, he's like run around. He thinks it's funny. Um.
And then we end up taking a picture. And while
we're taking the picture together, right as they go right
on the count of three, one, two, three, and right
as they go on the count of three, I like
squeeze the kid's neck real quick. And as they as
they snapped the picture, the kid goes and he like
(27:57):
opens his mouth and he's and he's and I go,
oh know, I'm sorry about like like I'm apologized. I
didn't okay, So all of this is happening. Heather Locklear
walks in. All right, so this is the Absolutely it's
a Saturday. It was pure chaos. So Heather Locklear walks
in and somewhere on her mantle there's a picture of
(28:20):
her kid having their birthday party. Um with and I'm
like a teenager at this time. It's her her kid's
birthday party and all this stuff. And you see Heather
Locklear and her family and there's a there's a chucky
he was like about five eleven, because I think I
think it was like this time, maybe there's a checking
who's like five eleven and it's me and Heather Lockler's
(28:43):
photo dressed up as a giant rat, probably on a
mantle somewhere in her house. So it was you know,
but at a certain point, I just couldn't do it anymore.
And then a bachelorette party came in. Uh and uh,
you know, cheese, a bachelorette party cheese. So this is, yeah,
this is I couldn't even blue it. So my boss
(29:04):
while all this is happening, my boss told me at
one point, hey, you need to you need to slow
it down with the dancing. I was like why, I'm
all like, at least you do let me have some fun.
I'm getting abused by these kids, like they're assaulting me.
At least at least let me have some funny because
none of But the problem is you're doing too many
hip gyrations. He's all that stuff's going his true story.
He's all that stuff's going over the screens everywhere. He's
(29:27):
also you know, we just you know, parents are kind
of wondering what's going on. With this. Okay, well, you
know I'm not trying to piss him off, so all right, yeah,
I mean, I'll slow it down. So a couple of
weeks later, there's a He comes up to me on
a Friday night and he goes, hey, Chucky. I was like,
what's up. He goes, all right, I'm gonna need you
(29:50):
special request. Well, what's that? There's a bachelorrette party out
there on the side of booth and I'm all and
others not. He goes, yeah, And I said, what loser
comes here for a bachelor up? I know, he goes.
He goes. He goes, I know, but hey, he's all
there here, He's other four of them. They're over there
in the corner. I was like, so, what do you
want me to do? He goes, well, you know, do
(30:11):
what you do. I'm okay, well, if I do what
I do, do I have your permission that I can
really do what I do. He goes, just this once,
while you promise I'm not going to get in trouble.
He goes, yeah, just this once. So I get into costume.
I walk over there. I'm not even kidding you. I
propped my foot up on the table. All right, and
start grinding the air as if like like I'm doing
(30:34):
hip thrust and I and I put this on everything out.
This is absolutely true grinding twerking back. Before me, it
was twerking um like you know, uh, like dipping her
back like like holding her and then like dipping like
it was like you doing like like a chipping Dale's
dancer with Chuck. It was it was you know, Magic
(30:59):
Mike way before Magic in a giant, disgusting costume that's
never been sanitized or clean or anything like that. So
the best the best part is so they're like trying
to give me dollar bills or whatever, and I think
I gave him to like the cooks or one of
the dishwasher because they give me a couple of bucks
and other. Okay, so I leave and when you go
(31:21):
back and you change, nobody knows it's you. So you
go back to the game room, you change. I made
it a point to change, get back into my regular
you know, chucky out for like I was working, and
then come by there and bust their table afterwards, just
so they had no idea that the person that is
now cleaning up their crumby pizza trays is the same
(31:45):
guy that just made her basically have an affair on
her future husband with a giant rat that you pull
out of a craw machine at some at some crumby
carnival somewhere. Well, I bet you, Jonas, I bet those
those uh you know, years ago but probably stay probably
still tell that story. Do you remember when Chuck e Cheese?
Uh yeah, yeah, you'll never believe that. And by the way,
(32:08):
little little they know, they're probably like, whatever happened to
the guy who played Chucky and you could just go, oh,
it's easy. He made it to mad Clowns, Mallard Militia.
He's the guy getting run over by the Corvett by
the Cadillac that is they still have that, by the way. Yeah,
now I have a somewhere I don't it's in storage,
(32:29):
but I have a drawing. I I printed the thing
up like in a poster. And you you will be
when I when I get that out of storage, You'll
be hanging in the in the Mallard mansion. But I
gotta tell you, Jones, when you mentioned the smell of
the Chucky Cheese outfit. When I was in Milwaukee years ago,
I was doing some stuff with the Dodgers and we're
County Stadium. And I walked through the bowels of County Stadium,
(32:51):
which no longer exists, and we went to one of
the rooms on the side there and they had the
racing sausages, the costumes. Right, we're we're out in this
in this room and the smell, the stench of these things.
Jonas I was like all excited. I was like, you know,
I was a naive. I didn't realize that these things
(33:11):
never get cleaned. And I remember I was walking over.
I was like, wow, I can kind of you know,
I can hold the sausages, you know, the outfit. And
I went over and the stench and it was just horrific,
and uh, it's it's so gross man like because there's
no there's nowhere for the sweat to go. Like when
when they when they design those things, we're not we're
(33:34):
not talking about like, you know, high profile athletes to
where you've got like these they're they're not golfers who
have these sweat resistance hats and shirts and they're just
trying to make it. They're trying to make something that
looks like a kill bossa there what you're thinking about,
you know, like, I mean, what are we talking about here?
It's like it does it look like does it look
like a brought worse or not? All right? Cool? Then
(33:54):
then get in it and let's run like it smells man,
And it's hard to clean. And back then, like people
weren't worrying about sanitizing and keeping things cleanly and clean
and cleanliness wasn't a priority. So yeah, getting in that
that costume, it's it's awful and you're running in the
sun in the hot summer months. The humidity in the
(34:16):
Midwest is just disgusting. It is terrible. And I gotta
tell you, Josh, you were ahead of your time. You know,
everyone with COVID you gotta you know, clean everything and
all you were when I first met you, Jonas, you
have always been Mr Clean, you really have. I give
you credit. There's so many pigs that work in radio,
so many disheveled animals that work in our business. And
(34:39):
you you're like the anti that guy. You really are.
I mean you come in there and you and and
way before it was cool to do what you do.
You know, you're you're cleaning everything, You're wiping stuff down.
I give you credit. I don't I don't do that.
You do you do, it's good job by you. So
so here's here's the story behind that, um my first
(35:01):
radio job. I end somebody was somebody showed up to
work and they were sick, and of course they got
the entire studio sick, and and I just remember being
so piste off and thinking, man, you gotta be kidding me,
like literally you should. And I just remember thinking I'm
never gonna have that happen again. And so for the
(35:24):
rest of my time. And everyone when I first started there,
everyone thought I have O c D. What do you
Howie Mandel? Because Howie Mandel is just you know, like
the guy's a giant germ flo I guess so people
people are making fun of me, and I did for
a couple of reasons. Number one, I don't want to
get sick, because if we're sick on the air, like
(35:47):
we're done, Like we can't just show up and hide
behind the scenes. It doesn't work that way. So I
can't get sick. I needed to work, um And also
because you know, I mean, I've been you know, taking
care of my mom and taking care of sick people
for a long long time. I can't get them sick,
so I would always make sure I got sanitizer, I
got everything else. And then the more that I thought
(36:07):
about it, while I was doing in radio, I was like, well,
I should be doing this everywhere, So I would have
sanitizer on me in my blood box to where if
I go pump gas, I would use sanitizer. And it
would blow my mind to see these slobs that would
get in their car pump gas and then get back
(36:28):
in their car and dig into a bag of funyans
and start eating from the bag, and and and the
whole time, I'm thinking to myself when they're taking a
bite out of those funyans, and they're probably, man, I
earned this, this is my reward. I really hustled today,
and now I'm gonna go have a couple of drinks.
I'm just thinking myself, do you know how much ball
sweat and get rock? Just you you just took in
(36:52):
because because you couldn't you you couldn't wash your damn hands.
It's it's just I gotta tell the best investment I
ever made is the mic condom. I guess we call
it like the phone because you know a lot of
us are working from home these day and you're still
going in and I give your credit for that. Um,
(37:13):
but when you go to the radio station when everyone's
using the same microphones and a lot of people don't
have their own mic cover, and it's you're putting your
mouth as close as you possibly can to the microphone
to talk properly, and everyone twenty four hours a day
is using the same microphones. It's disgusting. And so it's
one way to come back. Jon's I've kept you for
(37:35):
way too long, my man. I'm I'm very happy for you.
I'm glad the company finally made a good move here
putting you on the morning show and uh continued successful. Man. Well,
now listen, and I mean this and all society and
I've told anybody that would listen, and you are one
of the one of the all time grades. I'm not
saying that the ball wash you as somebody. You and
(37:57):
I have a certain affinity for radio that I think
a lot of people in our business maybe don't because
they were either doing TV or you know, they played
a sport or whatever. And you and I grew up
loving radio and having a true passion for it, and
so I have listened to you for a long time
and so to be able to get to meet guys
like you and Tony Bruno and and Mike North and
(38:19):
Andy Firman and Artie Spaniard and Steve Hartman and some
of these legends, and then to be able to get
to go call you guys friends. Um, it's it's been
pretty awesome, man, And to get to learn from you,
and you know, you're one of the best to do it.
And I think, uh, you know you you you've set
a mark and sort of set a standard there that
a lot of people it's really really hard to follow.
(38:41):
But man, it's awesome to to to get to know you.
And you're at my wedding whatever the hell you want
to call that and my listen, great food at the wedding, Joes,
You're very kind. I and everyone I've talked to when
the news came down. You know, the radio community is
a very tight community and people are like, good a
radio guy. I mean, that's what you're radio guy Jones.
(39:05):
This is rare that you know, these these things, as
you said, you know, normally these these jobs go to
big TV people, movie stars, things like that. So I'm
glad it's another radio guy and it and it was
cool to uh, you know, just like I said, to
be able to study and kind of learn under you
and everybody else there, and um, just it's it's been
(39:26):
awesome and a lot of people have reached out and
been very very kind. And uh, I know the Ballad militia,
you know, they're they're not. They don't like it. They
basically scared Artie span Your away. Artie Spanier filled in
for you one time. Artie Spanner is a living legend
and radio. The guys worked at every network. He's been
doing it for years and years and and they scared
him away. But I refused to let them scare me away.
(39:46):
I got three Benny Awards, yes, and one of them
that I one of them that I can't claim because
it may or may not have been me doing somebody's
doubtful gang around the air. But I'm not gonna I'm
going tonight. I've got I've got I've got four Benny Awards.
One of them's got an ast and I can never
tell about. But no, man, you love you. I appreciate
you having me and it's a it's an honor to
be on with you. Awesome thanks jowing us
Ka boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now. Morning madness in the
air everywhere. Well go man, the beginning of another edition
of The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard. That would be
me flying solo today, but not flying solo because this
(00:45):
is a Friday podcast, and that means an opportunity to
catch up with one of our friends, one of our
our buddies in radio, and a morning drive sensation of
the Fox Sports Radio Nation. And this just get right
into it here. No small talk. I'm not a small
talk guy. Jonas Knox. Now, Jonas used to work on
(01:08):
my show. He said just about every job you could
have at Fox Sports Radio over the years. But he
is the newest edition the company. A couple of weeks
ago hired a Jonas full time. He had been filling
in once Clay Travis left to replace the Great Rush
Limbaugh and Jonas is our new morning guy. I mean
you probably know that now if you're listening to me,
(01:28):
you know who Jonas is. And Jonas has done some
overnights on the weekends, and as I said, he worked
on my show. He's worked all over the clock. He's
been the fill in guy, you name it, and Jonas
has done it is he has certainly paid his dues.
And now he is the lead host on Two Pros
(01:48):
and a Cup of Joe in the Morning with the
aforementioned uh Jonas Knox and LaVar Arrington and Brady quinn
As they all work together on the morning Drive on
Fox Sports Radio, and I'm the leading to those guys.
But I'm excited to have Jonas on here and welcome Jonas,
(02:11):
and it's good to have you here. Congratulations on the gig.
And how has your life changed in amazing and magical
ways now that you are a morning drive host, morning
drive syndicated host, that's a big deal. How have things changed, Jonas?
I mean, to be honest with you, the first producing
(02:35):
shift that I ever did at Fox Sports Radio was
as an assistant producer for Zack and Jack in this
exact time slot and I can remember the great Annie's
that they're VI's telling me when she called me up
to say, hey, we want to we want to make
you the assistant producer so you can be there for
that show, uh and be there in studio, And I
(02:56):
remember her telling me, you know it is gonna be
a lifestyle change, and that it's not going to be
that much of a lifestyle change. And then you start
waking up at one am and you realize, oh no, no, no,
it's over. Whatever life you thought you knew before. You
can go ahead and you put a bowl on it.
You can close the cop and on that. That is
a wrap the old Let's go to happy hour and
(03:17):
if you're feeling frisky, let's go to late night bowling.
Those days are dead. If you don't get to bet
at a certain amount of time, you walk around like
a zombie the rest of the day. But what it
did teach me is getting as used to the time
slot as you possibly could, and then to go from
that to then working with Andy Furman and ar Charles
Hawkins and then Andy Ferman and Mike North and getting
(03:41):
to actually fill in on this show at other times
before the time the time slot would throw a lot
of people off. But you know this because we've worked
in weird time slots all over the network. Once you
start doing it a few times, it becomes your normal
routine and it's not that crazy. You just can't partake
(04:01):
in some of the other things that people with normal
nine to five jobs can partake in. Yeah, exactly. I
mean people say I have bad hours, but you know,
compared to you know you, I mean, you're doing a
morning drive show, but you're on the West Coast and
it's an East Coast morning drive show, so it's it's
a little backwards. And I think that in the history
(04:21):
of Fox Sports Radio, I'm a bit of a historian
when it comes to not with the Lakers, but when
it comes to Fox Sports Radio, Jonas and Night, I'm
pretty sure that you're the first morning show that's mostly
based on in l a in the studio because he
usually it's been I mean, I go way back to
like Steve Zaban when he did it from d C
(04:42):
and some of the you mentioned many of the other
guys that have done the morning show, but it's usually
been somebody either in the Midwest or on the East Coast.
And so what is a day in the life, like
because you just mentioned you can't live the life that
you once live. You're married now though, of course you
can't do that Jonas. But uh, of course weak weak
not but uh but like I, I have a weird schedule. Well,
(05:05):
well you have. I mean, when you sleep, what's what's
a day in the life. So what I do is
I learned just from working in this time slot that
if I try and wake up it's say two AM
for a three am show on the West Coast, it
just ain't happening. So I figured out, when I was
producing it years and years and years ago, I would
(05:27):
wake up at midnight or about twelve fifteen, twelve thirty,
and I would get a workout in. So I would
work out. I would do a workout, and I would
do cardio and that would usually go for an hour
or so and anywhere between an hour to an hour fifteen.
And once I got my body moving like that, then
(05:49):
all of a sudden, you start getting your head right.
And you're getting your head right for the show. But
you start getting your head right, you've had your fully hydrated,
because you know, I'm a water junkie, so I drink
a bunch of water, you've got a good sweat in,
you've got a bunch of energy, you drink some coffee,
and you're ready to rock. And then and then and
then all is well, and then you know, at about
(06:10):
I would say probably six fifteen to six thirty Pacific
time is usually about the time that I'm dozing off
as I passed to Soto on the one on one,
and then I realized, all right, you know, why don't
I go ahead and steer back into traffic so I
don't go over the side here. But no, it's it's
you know, it's rough at times, but I try and
get my naps in the whole, you know, seven eight
(06:33):
hours sleep, I don't know. Listen, if anybody out there
is getting seven and eight hours sleep, I don't know. Man.
If I sleep longer than five or six hours, I
wake up and my back is killing me, I don't.
I mean, it just doesn't feel right. So I'm used
to being pretty on the go. Um, Naps help, Coffee helps, uh,
(06:53):
staying hydrated helps, and you know, not you know, not
licking the lid or bending the elbow or sucking them back,
you know, during the week I think probably helps out
as well too. But yeah, it's just it's it's anything, man.
You just try and get used to it as best
you can, and you know you're trying to screw up
or but you know, I remember it years ago when
(07:15):
I was I briefly worked in morning radio for a
very short time, and it I'm not a morning person.
I wish I was, because usually that's where the money
is in radio in the mornings and all that, but
I'm not. And so I tried. I tried to make
it like an overnight thing where I just stay up
all night and then I'd go to bed at like
ten thirty in the morning. And that did not go
(07:38):
well that. There's several just like as you were joking around,
I mean I got almost every day. It was almost
an accident on the way home. I was like, no,
I'll be fine, you know, a little problem. I mean,
I'll just make it like an overnight show. And it
was it was, oh, listen, you turn into Tony Larusa.
You fall asleep and stop like you know, but you don't.
You don't have an eight team back everything exact. You like,
(08:01):
look your your honor, I promise you if you want
to look at my you know, check my blood alcohol level.
At that point, I could I could assure you I
did not need to roll through the red light with
full traffic there. It was just, uh, you know, that's
that's part of the job. But but now it's and
and here's here's the other thing with me. And I'm
a sick, sick bastard. I always I cannot do anything
(08:26):
unless I the first thing I have to do every
single day is get a workout in. I have to
like it. Literally, if if I don't do that, then
I feel like I'm behind, and so my my mentality
and I'm a psychopath like this is. I love the
feeling of working out first thing in the morning, in
(08:47):
the pitch black, even if I didn't need to get up.
I used to listen. I would listen to Clay Travis's
show because I would be going to the gym. Back
before you know, Warden K. Newsome shut of Staticus in
the wreck Yard for our entire life. But back when
gyms were open, I I remember listening to to Clay
Travis and going back and forth, and I loved the
(09:08):
feeling of knowing that every person I passed by after
I left the gym was lazier than me for whatever reason.
That's just how like I'm a sick bastard and in
my mind psychology wise, so getting getting a head start
like that, Like I've always been a big fan. I've
always loved morning, so I feel it's a great way
to get things going. And then you start doing the
(09:30):
math and you realize, you know, just because you wake
up four hours earlier than a normal human being, but
you end up sleeping at a better four hour window
later on of the day. You guys are pretty much
even like you. You're just you're trying to trick yourself.
Like if you're not, you don't really have any sort
of competitive edge. Yeah, but as far as the working out,
I mean, you actually do work out. My idea of
a workout is going on the treadmill and and walking.
(09:53):
But I I used to love before King Newsom shut
down the state of California and the gyms and all that.
Now and I haven't I haven't been back. I used
to love going to the gym because you know, it
was it was great in the gym was open. I
went to twenty four hour Fitness and they were open.
They're not even open twenty four hours anymore. And I
would go. I would do the overnight show, and then
I would stop on my way way home, either at
(10:15):
the one across the street from the station, or i'd
go to one where I was living. And you know,
it was great because i'd hang, i'd work out. By
the time I got there was like, you know, four
am or whatever, and I work out and all these
the old folks would come in right the wearing their
sneakers and all that, the gray hairs. They had no
idea who I was. And it was great. I loved it.
(10:36):
And you know, why would they, I mean, radio guy,
But but it was awesome and I'm friends and all that. Wait,
you know, I knew all the old people at the
gym and then it all ended one day. Yeah it's
and listen, uh. And and there are windows, there's pockets
of people because I've gone to the gym at all
hours of the day, and I can tell you starting
at about minutes so you'll get your people in there,
(10:58):
and around eleven forty five midnight. From from about midnight
to one am, it's people that like to work out
late for whatever reason. They work, you know, jobs, and
they're working a night shift. And then there's this sweet
spot from about one thirty to three thirty, and you
get gothic people, and you and you, and you get
(11:22):
and you get strippers. And I'm not kidding you. And
I've always said this, I'm not good at a lot,
but but I can spot a couple of things right away.
I can spot a closet degenerate gambler, and I can
spot an off duty stripper from a mile away. I
have a cent. It is a god given ability. It's
one of my only god given abilities. When when you're
(11:43):
on when you're on a treadmill, okay, when you're on
the elliptical, it's and it's two fifteen in the morning,
and you've got eyeliner on, come on, come on, come on,
you you a me home? What the Andy Furman's favorite quote.
(12:03):
You can Yeah, I was born. I was born to night,
but not last night. Not last night. Yeah. Well the
other thing too. I would I usually would go, like,
you know, four in the morning, and i'd leave by
the time the morning rush kind of came into people
that had real nine to five jobs that we work out.
But occasionally I would go in the evening and it
was like the club. It was like, you know, there
(12:25):
were a bunch of women like I don't know, I
don't think they were strippers, but they were. They were
wearing makeup trying to, you know, get get the eye
of a guy or and vice versa man. It was
like it was like a club in the evening time
after work. I've never understood going to a gym to
try and pick up on somebody, like I've never like,
when I go to the gym, the last thing I
want to do is talk to anybody. I don't want
(12:47):
to talk to anybody like That's people don't understand this.
They look at what we do and they go and look,
we are very we're blessed and lucky to get to
do what we do, like we're really really lucky. But like,
the one thing people understand it is if you work
three hours or four hours, like the weekend overnight show
is four hours, all right, So you do four hours
(13:07):
five days a week, which is crazy, and people don't
understand that. You know, they go, oh, well, you're just
working four hours. I work eight to night hours of
my job, okay, but you're not having to talk the
entire time, okay. And you and I are cut from
the same cloths where we actually care about doing good radio,
which is why we don't just want to fill up
our entire show with a bunch of guests, because because
(13:30):
we want to kick our feet up and and so
when you when I leave the show on Friday nights,
the last thing I want to do is talk to anybody.
Like my my wife could be in the middle of
telling me we just won the lotto, and I would
tell her leave me alone for the next eight hours.
Like I don't want to talk to anybody. I just
(13:51):
want to be left. So just the idea of going
to the gym and sparking up a conversation with somebody,
I just is not not appealing to me. I'm sick
of my voice at that point. I'm sick of hearing myself.
I'm tired, and I just I've never understood people that
can can roll up on somebody and start trying to,
you know, pick up a date. I never got. Well,
you're absolutely appreciating the choir Jonas, and we are very
(14:13):
similar in that respect. And uh, you know, I don't
know your wife that much. I obviously met her at
the wedding. I know she's a big talker. My wife
is great because when I on the weekend. She loves
to talk, and so I'm like people in the family,
they're like, you don't really work in radio, you don't
you don't know. I just sit there and you know,
look at my phone or the TV. I don't want
(14:34):
to and and the other thing. It's funny. We were
at an event last week and the guy we were,
you know, small talk, and I hate doing small talk.
I don't like that either, but you know, I was.
I was trying to be polite. I think I was
a nice guy. And so then it got to the
point of what you do for a living. And so
at this point I pivoted and uh, and I said,
(14:56):
I'm in sales. Because we really are in sales. Jonas
were the most important in part, as John Sterling said
on this podcast, is to sell the soup. So I'm like,
I'm a sales guy. And the guy looks at me.
It's like, you don't talk, you can't be in sales.
I'm like, no, I I am. Because you know what,
it nevibly, inevitably will happen if I could talk. Is
when you when you say you're in radio, and then
(15:17):
you say you're in sports radio, what's the next question
you get Jonas, it's what are your thoughts on this? Yeah,
who's gonna win the Super Bowl? Who's gonna win the
World Series? What do you think of the Lakers? And
I was like, I don't want to deal with it.
I don't want to deal with it. And so I
always sales. I when I had the website, when I
did the Ben Mallay dot com thing, I don't I'm
(15:38):
an internet guy. I'm a programmer on the Internet, but
I don't do that anymore. So I always my default
is sales say kind of in the conversation. I swear
to God, I'm not even embellishing this. I have done
this before, and I've done it in front of uh
family and friends who look at me like, why what
a weird thing to lie about. I've had people say so,
so what do you do? Like, oh, you know, work,
(16:01):
just work, you know, hang out, just already work. And
when they say where do you work, I'm like, all right,
we'll good because I say, oh, Sherman Oaks. And then
if if we get the stage three of the lie
and they go, oh, what do you do out there?
I go, oh, I just work, you know, my bunch
of office buildings. I've done that multiple times because I just,
(16:22):
first of all, I don't think I'm interesting at all,
and I think I think what other people do is
so much more interesting than me. I could sit and
watch the Food Network the entire day. I think it's
fascinating what they do, the way they put stuff together,
the way they the way I just I think, like,
I love talking to people about what they do because
I just have no interest in talking about myself. I
(16:44):
think there's nothing appealing, there's nothing interesting. I would rather
it's like when people call in and they're actually working,
doing security or driving across the road. I love hearing
what their work day is, like, Hey, so what do
you doing? If they're tossing papers, if they're like whatever,
it is like, so, what's going on there right now?
(17:04):
What do you got going on? Because I'm I'm legitimately interested.
I'm not interested in anything I got going on, so
I know what I got going on. I'm a slap dick,
right there's going on, but I'm interested in what they
got going on. And uh and yeah, I just And
people sometimes might take that for you know, awkwardness, or
it's to me, it's just when you do this and
(17:27):
you're talking as much as we do. Sometimes you just
want to listen. You don't have anything to say. Yeah, no,
it's weird. I I agree, and I occasionally I'll go out.
My kitchen has been all messed up this this last
couple of months. I've been moved. I moved and so
that I've been able to eat at home. And so,
you know, I know, you eat healthy jonas, you you
eat a King's diet, but I occasionally will stray and
(17:50):
eat fast food. And I I love raising canes. And
I was at raising cans. It was it was just slammed.
And I'm looking at these people who are not making
a lot of money putting food together, busting their ass,
and I'm thinking they're working hard. I know rich people.
I've been fortunate enough to meet some really wealthy people
that have high paying jobs that don't work as hard
and don't have as much stress as the person at
(18:12):
the fast food joint putting the fried chicken together and
the fries and all that. It's crazy. It's it's it's
look I worked. I mean, I have worked at so
many different places. T G I Friday's. Uh, you know,
I you know, wash dishes at a place in Charleston
while I was on the radio at night, which, let
me tell you something you want to know humbling. Humbling
(18:33):
is when you're doing the morning show in Charleston, South Carolina,
and then you show up to your restaurant job later
on at night, and as you walk, as you walk
into the kitchen to wash dishes, you hear sporting news
radio and guys like Arnie Span your Tim Remember Tim Montemyer,
I do. I worked with I worked with him at
(18:54):
the in l A. He was an l A radio guy. Yeah,
And I remember one of the guys in the kitchen
as I'm getting ready to wash dishes because because it's
market eighty three and no joke, every two weeks from
my full time radio job, by the way, full time
meaning in a small market, I'm the anchor, I'm the host,
(19:14):
I'm the co host on the board op, I'm the
imaging guy on the producer. You've got to learn how
to do everything, which is great because it helped me
anywhere I got later on. But I remember I made
seven hundred and forty four dollars every two weeks after taxes, right,
that was my pay every after taxes seven or forty
four dollars. I remember walking into the kitchen at this place,
(19:35):
I think it was called Sesame and I've got which
mall in North Charleston. And remember as I walked in,
one of the guys says to be as the radio
is played, Hey, what are you on here this morning? Like?
You know what? Thank you? Yes, you're that is accurate? Correct?
(19:56):
Can you you you were on? Can you wash my dishes?
That you? Yeah? Can you put away the plates? Can
you get me a new spatula? It? But I got
a little grind on it. Well you know, now how
many years ago you've been this many years ago you
were in Charleston, right. My my niece is actually going
to college in Charleston, South Carolina. Saw she's she's in
(20:19):
college college. She's she's at Charleston. So she's she's at
the the old the old School. Any restaurant recommendations are okay,
well you go to Charleston. Um. Now there's the reason
why I asked what school is because in Charleston it's
like a closet, really fun party town. So you've got
(20:41):
you've got college at Charleston obviously, which is in downtown.
That's where she got Charleston. You got, you got Charleston Southern,
which is at North Charleston, and I lived right up
the road from there, you know, and I could I
started to figure out as I tried to get more
and more people to come over and hang out when
I would go out, nobody seemed to want to go
to North Charleston. I couldn't figure out why. And then
I saw a report that it was voted the eighth
(21:03):
most dangerous city in the US. And there I was okay, well, no, no, no,
wonder one bedroom was five fifty dollars. Now makes sense.
But you go, So there's that, and then there's the Citadel,
which is the military school. Um and uh and so
that's also in downtown Charleston. Anywhere on Market Street, King Street. Uh,
(21:25):
those are always fun. Uh. In surrounding areas. If you
can go to a mount Pleasant has got some good
spots out there. Um, where's some other one. Fawley Beach
is a good place to go. I can get after
a little bit. But yeah, I can remember just walking
around because I didn't have any friends out there. I
didn't know anybody, and so I would bar hot by myself.
(21:46):
And the one problem with bar hoping by yourself is
when you don't have conversation to break up SIPs to
your drinks, you get absolutely mangled in about an hour.
I can I can remember. I can were walking through Charleston,
hammered and trying not to trip over my feet on
the cobblestone walkways, and I'm thinking, man, this is like
(22:08):
seventeen century stuff. This is like historic. You know, there's
people that probably fought and died for these lands. And
here I am wreaking the booze and I just got
here forty five minutes ago because I don't know what
damn single person here, and I've only got about thirty
dollars to spend, including the cab right to get back
(22:28):
to North Charleston because I make so little money in
my quote unquote dream job. But it was a great time,
fun times all the way through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,
I hear. And when I when your name comes up, though, Jonas,
the one thing that people often bring up is Chuck E. Cheese,
the cartoon rodent that you famously wore the costume. Was
(22:52):
this a right? And you've told me the story. I
was this a part time thing? Was this were you
filling in you said the kids were terrible. Yeah, they're
they're awful. They're there, and let me tell you, Like, uh,
so here's what happened. So I grew up poor, so
we always had to have jobs. So there was you know,
(23:14):
we didn't I never got an allowance of my entire
life anything we wanted, Like we had to have jobs,
like you were poor. And so from the earliest, like
I was a janitor at an elementary school when I
probably wasn't old enough to be a janitor in an
elementary school. Like I was, like, I did anything I could.
I was in high school and I needed a job,
(23:36):
and my buddy said, hey, Chuck E Cheese just opened
up and they were paying like more than minimum wage.
And minimum wage was like five seventy five or whatever
it was back then. Chuck E Cheese was paying like
six oh five. And if you could get twenty cents more,
I mean, at the time, you're thinking, man, this is fantastic.
(23:56):
So nobody nobody signs up to be the damn rat. Okay,
nobody signs up to dress like a giant stuffed animal
and get abused by a bunch of spore little brats.
Nobody wants that but you get there and everybody's got
to take turns doing it, and so you know, you
gotta you gotta clean up birthday parties, and you gotta
(24:19):
throw stuff away and bus tables, and you know, to
work the game machine and sweep up and do all
these things. And then every everybody, depending on the shift,
takes turns doing Chucky. And I think it was like
twice an hour maybe or once an hour. It's it's
basically the you know, the national updates at Fox Sports Radio,
and that's that's when Chucky takes takes stage twice an hour.
(24:40):
And so I remember the first time they had me
do it. I wanted to make my buddy laugh. And
when you dance up on the stage, it goes up
on the blue screen on all the little TVs around
the restaurant, and so I knew that he was watching,
and nobody knew that it was me. So I was
doing remember the Jamal Anderson Dirty Birds? Oh yeah, that,
(25:03):
Oh yeah, I did. I did that. I would like
the the the Akey Shuffle, I did the shot. Did
you do the river? Did you do the river danceco
River Dance? Oh? Like anything I could come up. So
at one point I was doing ravishing rick rude. When
I started getting really really caught, like cocky about it.
(25:24):
I started doing ravishing rick rude, which is the hip gyration,
and then I would I would rub my hands against
my chest and act like I was throwing sweat at
people's face like it was so I was. I started
going over there because I just thought, all this is temporary,
and then all of a sudden they just kept me
doing it, and it would be like a month, and
then a month and a half and then two and
(25:45):
finally I'm like, man, like, I'm getting tired of this
because you're walking around it's hot as balls inside the costume.
You get you get these little spoiled brats whose parents
only are having a birthday party there because they don't
want to have to clean up the mess and chuck
e cheese serves beer. So you got Dad's walking around.
(26:06):
They at one point, Dad's just decide, are we we're
no longer gonna you know, walk around with the picture
of beer and poured into a glass. They're just drinking
straight from the picture at this point. So they're they're
they're getting annihilated, and you're and I can remember multiple
times I remember a kid, and you can't talk. So
the whole time this is happening, you can't talk through
the mask. You're not allowed to see them, you know,
(26:27):
show you just gotta be goofy and you gotta do
all this. I remember this kid, and I didn't see
him until the last second, but I remember seeing out
at the corner of my mask, this giant mask. This
kid runs up and he hits me as hard as
he can in the balls, I mean direct shot one. Yeah,
he didn't get one, he got both and and And
(26:49):
I got to give him credit for the accuracy because
he was able to do that through the suit, through
the fake stomach, lining, through all of it. And I
remember I bent down. I was down, like I had
literally hand on my knees and my buddies acting like
he's not talking to me. So he comes over and
pretends like he's sweeping the floor and he's got like
the little dust pan out and he's swooping in and
he's like, hey man, you're all right, And I just
(27:11):
started cursing as loud as like, and I'm like, I'm
all this Sam effort and him, I'm all, I'm all,
I'm literally gonna go drag his dad outside and beat
his and and at the top of my leves and
I'm literally looking for the kid's dad. I was pissed
and so and so all this is happening. This kid,
(27:34):
like you know, he's like run around. He thinks it's funny. Um.
And then we end up taking a picture. And while
we're taking the picture together, right as they go right
on the count of three, one, two, three, and right
as they go on the count of three, I like
squeeze the kid's neck real quick. And as they as
they snapped the picture, the kid goes and he like
(27:57):
opens his mouth and he's and he's and I go,
oh know, I'm sorry about like like I'm apologized. I
didn't okay, So all of this is happening. Heather Locklear
walks in. All right, so this is the Absolutely it's
a Saturday. It was pure chaos. So Heather Locklear walks
in and somewhere on her mantle there's a picture of
(28:20):
her kid having their birthday party. Um with and I'm
like a teenager at this time. It's her her kid's
birthday party and all this stuff. And you see Heather
Locklear and her family and there's a there's a chucky
he was like about five eleven, because I think I
think it was like this time, maybe there's a checking
who's like five eleven and it's me and Heather Lockler's
(28:43):
photo dressed up as a giant rat, probably on a
mantle somewhere in her house. So it was you know,
but at a certain point, I just couldn't do it anymore.
And then a bachelorette party came in. Uh and uh,
you know, cheese, a bachelorette party cheese. So this is, yeah,
this is I couldn't even blue it. So my boss
(29:04):
while all this is happening, my boss told me at
one point, hey, you need to you need to slow
it down with the dancing. I was like why, I'm
all like, at least you do let me have some fun.
I'm getting abused by these kids, like they're assaulting me.
At least at least let me have some funny because
none of But the problem is you're doing too many
hip gyrations. He's all that stuff's going his true story.
He's all that stuff's going over the screens everywhere. He's
(29:27):
also you know, we just you know, parents are kind
of wondering what's going on. With this. Okay, well, you
know I'm not trying to piss him off, so all right, yeah,
I mean, I'll slow it down. So a couple of
weeks later, there's a He comes up to me on
a Friday night and he goes, hey, Chucky. I was like,
what's up. He goes, all right, I'm gonna need you
(29:50):
special request. Well, what's that? There's a bachelorrette party out
there on the side of booth and I'm all and
others not. He goes, yeah, And I said, what loser
comes here for a bachelor up? I know, he goes.
He goes. He goes, I know, but hey, he's all
there here, He's other four of them. They're over there
in the corner. I was like, so, what do you
want me to do? He goes, well, you know, do
(30:11):
what you do. I'm okay, well, if I do what
I do, do I have your permission that I can
really do what I do. He goes, just this once,
while you promise I'm not going to get in trouble.
He goes, yeah, just this once. So I get into costume.
I walk over there. I'm not even kidding you. I
propped my foot up on the table. All right, and
start grinding the air as if like like I'm doing
(30:34):
hip thrust and I and I put this on everything out.
This is absolutely true grinding twerking back. Before me, it
was twerking um like you know, uh, like dipping her
back like like holding her and then like dipping like
it was like you doing like like a chipping Dale's
dancer with Chuck. It was it was you know, Magic
(30:59):
Mike way before Magic in a giant, disgusting costume that's
never been sanitized or clean or anything like that. So
the best the best part is so they're like trying
to give me dollar bills or whatever, and I think
I gave him to like the cooks or one of
the dishwasher because they give me a couple of bucks
and other. Okay, so I leave and when you go
(31:21):
back and you change, nobody knows it's you. So you
go back to the game room, you change. I made
it a point to change, get back into my regular
you know, chucky out for like I was working, and
then come by there and bust their table afterwards, just
so they had no idea that the person that is
now cleaning up their crumby pizza trays is the same
(31:45):
guy that just made her basically have an affair on
her future husband with a giant rat that you pull
out of a craw machine at some at some crumby
carnival somewhere. Well, I bet you, Jonas, I bet those
those uh you know, years ago but probably stay probably
still tell that story. Do you remember when Chuck e Cheese?
Uh yeah, yeah, you'll never believe that. And by the way,
(32:08):
little little they know, they're probably like, whatever happened to
the guy who played Chucky and you could just go, oh,
it's easy. He made it to mad Clowns, Mallard Militia.
He's the guy getting run over by the Corvett by
the Cadillac that is they still have that, by the way. Yeah,
now I have a somewhere I don't it's in storage,
(32:29):
but I have a drawing. I I printed the thing
up like in a poster. And you you will be
when I when I get that out of storage, You'll
be hanging in the in the Mallard mansion. But I
gotta tell you, Jones, when you mentioned the smell of
the Chucky Cheese outfit. When I was in Milwaukee years ago,
I was doing some stuff with the Dodgers and we're
County Stadium. And I walked through the bowels of County Stadium,
(32:51):
which no longer exists, and we went to one of
the rooms on the side there and they had the
racing sausages, the costumes. Right, we're we're out in this
in this room and the smell, the stench of these things.
Jonas I was like all excited. I was like, you know,
I was a naive. I didn't realize that these things
(33:11):
never get cleaned. And I remember I was walking over.
I was like, wow, I can kind of you know,
I can hold the sausages, you know, the outfit. And
I went over and the stench and it was just horrific,
and uh, it's it's so gross man like because there's
no there's nowhere for the sweat to go. Like when
when they when they design those things, we're not we're
(33:34):
not talking about like, you know, high profile athletes to
where you've got like these they're they're not golfers who
have these sweat resistance hats and shirts and they're just
trying to make it. They're trying to make something that
looks like a kill bossa there what you're thinking about,
you know, like, I mean, what are we talking about here?
It's like it does it look like does it look
like a brought worse or not? All right? Cool? Then
(33:54):
then get in it and let's run like it smells man,
And it's hard to clean. And back then, like people
weren't worrying about sanitizing and keeping things cleanly and clean
and cleanliness wasn't a priority. So yeah, getting in that
that costume, it's it's awful and you're running in the
sun in the hot summer months. The humidity in the
(34:16):
Midwest is just disgusting. It is terrible. And I gotta
tell you, Josh, you were ahead of your time. You know,
everyone with COVID you gotta you know, clean everything and
all you were when I first met you, Jonas, you
have always been Mr Clean, you really have. I give
you credit. There's so many pigs that work in radio,
so many disheveled animals that work in our business. And
(34:39):
you you're like the anti that guy. You really are.
I mean you come in there and you and and
way before it was cool to do what you do.
You know, you're you're cleaning everything, You're wiping stuff down.
I give you credit. I don't I don't do that.
You do you do, it's good job by you. So
so here's here's the story behind that, um my first
(35:01):
radio job. I end somebody was somebody showed up to
work and they were sick, and of course they got
the entire studio sick, and and I just remember being
so piste off and thinking, man, you gotta be kidding me,
like literally you should. And I just remember thinking I'm
never gonna have that happen again. And so for the
(35:24):
rest of my time. And everyone when I first started there,
everyone thought I have O c D. What do you
Howie Mandel? Because Howie Mandel is just you know, like
the guy's a giant germ flo I guess so people
people are making fun of me, and I did for
a couple of reasons. Number one, I don't want to
get sick, because if we're sick on the air, like
(35:47):
we're done, Like we can't just show up and hide
behind the scenes. It doesn't work that way. So I
can't get sick. I needed to work, um And also
because you know, I mean, I've been you know, taking
care of my mom and taking care of sick people
for a long long time. I can't get them sick,
so I would always make sure I got sanitizer, I
got everything else. And then the more that I thought
(36:07):
about it, while I was doing in radio, I was like, well,
I should be doing this everywhere, So I would have
sanitizer on me in my blood box to where if
I go pump gas, I would use sanitizer. And it
would blow my mind to see these slobs that would
get in their car pump gas and then get back
(36:28):
in their car and dig into a bag of funyans
and start eating from the bag, and and and the
whole time, I'm thinking to myself when they're taking a
bite out of those funyans, and they're probably, man, I
earned this, this is my reward. I really hustled today,
and now I'm gonna go have a couple of drinks.
I'm just thinking myself, do you know how much ball
sweat and get rock? Just you you just took in
(36:52):
because because you couldn't you you couldn't wash your damn hands.
It's it's just I gotta tell the best investment I
ever made is the mic condom. I guess we call
it like the phone because you know a lot of
us are working from home these day and you're still
going in and I give your credit for that. Um,
(37:13):
but when you go to the radio station when everyone's
using the same microphones and a lot of people don't
have their own mic cover, and it's you're putting your
mouth as close as you possibly can to the microphone
to talk properly, and everyone twenty four hours a day
is using the same microphones. It's disgusting. And so it's
one way to come back. Jon's I've kept you for
(37:35):
way too long, my man. I'm I'm very happy for you.
I'm glad the company finally made a good move here
putting you on the morning show and uh continued successful. Man. Well,
now listen, and I mean this and all society and
I've told anybody that would listen, and you are one
of the one of the all time grades. I'm not
saying that the ball wash you as somebody. You and
(37:57):
I have a certain affinity for radio that I think
a lot of people in our business maybe don't because
they were either doing TV or you know, they played
a sport or whatever. And you and I grew up
loving radio and having a true passion for it, and
so I have listened to you for a long time
and so to be able to get to meet guys
like you and Tony Bruno and and Mike North and
(38:19):
Andy Firman and Artie Spaniard and Steve Hartman and some
of these legends, and then to be able to get
to go call you guys friends. Um, it's it's been
pretty awesome, man, And to get to learn from you,
and you know, you're one of the best to do it.
And I think, uh, you know you you you've set
a mark and sort of set a standard there that
a lot of people it's really really hard to follow.
(38:41):
But man, it's awesome to to to get to know you.
And you're at my wedding whatever the hell you want
to call that and my listen, great food at the wedding, Joes,
You're very kind. I and everyone I've talked to when
the news came down. You know, the radio community is
a very tight community and people are like, good a
radio guy. I mean, that's what you're radio guy Jones.
(39:05):
This is rare that you know, these these things, as
you said, you know, normally these these jobs go to
big TV people, movie stars, things like that. So I'm
glad it's another radio guy and it and it was
cool to uh, you know, just like I said, to
be able to study and kind of learn under you
and everybody else there, and um, just it's it's been
(39:26):
awesome and a lot of people have reached out and
been very very kind. And uh, I know the Ballad militia,
you know, they're they're not. They don't like it. They
basically scared Artie span Your away. Artie Spanier filled in
for you one time. Artie Spanner is a living legend
and radio. The guys worked at every network. He's been
doing it for years and years and and they scared
him away. But I refused to let them scare me away.
(39:46):
I got three Benny Awards, yes, and one of them
that I one of them that I can't claim because
it may or may not have been me doing somebody's
doubtful gang around the air. But I'm not gonna I'm
going tonight. I've got I've got I've got four Benny Awards.
One of them's got an ast and I can never
tell about. But no, man, you love you. I appreciate
you having me and it's a it's an honor to
be on with you. Awesome thanks jowing us
Host
Ben Maller
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Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!