Rats Are on Crack

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's another jubile phone frame on the twenties. Hello, Yes,
I'm looking for Mason's mommy.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Mason's mommy.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Do you have a child named Mason?

Speaker 2 (00:18):
I do have a child.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Wonderful. It's so nice to meet you. I'm mister Tigra,
a new teacher at your son elementary school. How are you?

Speaker 2 (00:28):
I'm doing great?

Speaker 1 (00:28):
How are you very happy to be speaking with Mason's mommy?

Speaker 2 (00:31):
What is it that you're teaching my son?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
I am in charge of the production that we're putting
on a Wizard of Oz and I know that Mason
has signed up to be in the production. And the
reason that I'm calling to talk to you is because
I hear that you make quite a costume. Oh goodness.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Uh well, I mean yeah for the kids we put
on we like creative for Halloween.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Well, let mister Tigra make your day. I wanted to
ask you if you'd be willing to make the costumes
for this year's production of the Wizard of Oz.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh, like, you know, make sure Mason has his.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Costume, I mean all of the costumes. Would you be
willing to do that for us? Because I've also talked
to other teachers around here, and everybody tells me that
Mason always has the best costumes.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Okay, well, I mean I appreciate that everyone loves my costumes. However,
you know it's it is the Wizard of an I mean,
could into school just purchase the costume?

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Oh, I mean they could if they wanted to be basic.
The The thing about me is I will never put
on a production that is subpar. Part of art is
taking something that someone's already done and then making it better.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
I just don't know if that's something I could commit to.
I mean, could you tell me a little bit more
about you know what you were thinking? Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:54):
What I want to do for this year's fifth grade
production of Mister T. Gray's Wizard of Oz is we're
going to take it to the streets. It's gonna be
set a little more urban.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Urban.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, so what does that mean on the streets of
Osville Gotham. So it's going to be very gritty and
grimy and a few crackhead rats.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
You say, crackhead rats.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yes, there's a lot of crime in the city of Osville,
and so even the rats are addicted to crack. I've
got a whole song already written about it. The rats
are on crack, The rats are on crack.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Was this approved by the school?

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yes, I have been approved as the director of the
fifth grade performance and production.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yes, But does the school know that you're singing about
rats on crack?

Speaker 1 (02:46):
You're wondering if the school knows that the rats are
on crown.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, that's that's exactly what I'm asking you.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
The rats are on the crack. That's just part of it. No,
they don't. They don't know. Yeah, they're going to be wild,
just like you are.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
No, no one is going to appreciate that. I don't
want Meson singing about rats on crack.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
Well, he doesn't have to be one of the main character.
The main character sings that song, so he could be
a rat that was on crack. Maybe. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
None of the children are going to participate in a
show that's thing about.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
They're in fifth grade.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Is it the rats that's bothering you?

Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yeah, it's the rats. The rats are driving me bonkers.
It's talking about crack. You can't be explaining.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
That to my child. I see what you're saying. I
see it, noted. I see what you're saying. I see
what you're saying. Thank you. It should be a different
sort of substance, shouldn't it that they're on.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
I'm glad that you called, actually, because I'm going to
now have to talk to the principal, the head.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Of the department. I mean, I just don't even know
how you've got the role that you're in, and maybe
I even need to call the district. So you said,
it's t Gray, right, how do I spell that?

Speaker 1 (03:56):
You spell it Juba lay because this is actually Jubil
from the Jubil Show doing a phone brank on you
and your husband James set you up.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Oh my god, Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
He said that you always get involved in the school
place for your kids, and you wanted to make this
one really interesting for you was wake up every morning
with Jubile phone branks.