Best Of Full Interview: Gia Casey Talks New Book "Real Life, Real Love", Cheating Scandals, Rags To Riches + More

Best of 2024 - Recorded April 2023 - Gia Casey Talks New Book "Real Life, Real Love", Cheating Scandals, Rags To Riches. Listen For More!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wake that answer up in the morning. The Breakfast Club Morning.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Everybody is DJ Envy, Angela Yee, Charlamagne the guy we
are the Breakfast Club.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
You got a special guest in the building.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Never met her before.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
She's an actress, she's an author, she's a mom. Ladies
and gentlemen, it's a wife and my wife.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yes, Gia, Hello, welcome, Geah. What that's this one name?
She's like Madonna Beyonce. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. How
nervous are you, sir?

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Seriously, he's been acting real weird. You guys have a
book out, Real Life, Real Love, Life, Lessons on Joy,
pain and the Magic that holds us together. And I've
been dying to ask you this question, Gia in person,
how do you feel about Charlamagne and be flirting with
each other every day?

Speaker 5 (00:50):
Kind of turns me on.

Speaker 6 (00:56):
I didn't expect that answer.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
No, I'm nervous, people, Okay.

Speaker 7 (01:05):
Explain No, I mean, I mean, I think it's a
little strange, but I'm amused.

Speaker 5 (01:10):
By it, brotherly love, amused by it.

Speaker 6 (01:13):
Does anything go too far?

Speaker 8 (01:14):
Ever?

Speaker 7 (01:14):
Or no?

Speaker 5 (01:15):
It's all in good fun and all it is. I
don't mind it.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
So you didn't mind that when he gave me the ass.

Speaker 9 (01:21):
All context everybody ever watched the show every day context?

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Please?

Speaker 7 (01:28):
Okay, wait, can you guys sound by that.

Speaker 9 (01:32):
When he gave me a mold of his ass's and
it wasn't my ass, It was a mold of a ass. Yes,
I thought it was the mold of your actual No, No,
should ain't it?

Speaker 6 (01:42):
And then what about when they touch each other and stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
That's never happened. Don't touch, don't touch.

Speaker 7 (01:46):
You've never seen them that hasn't happened. No, you want
to tell me something I need to know.

Speaker 6 (01:50):
No, they like rub up brush against each other. If
they're walking out the door.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Going triting, rubbup against each other. We don't ever do it.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
They going the revolving door together.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
That happened one time.

Speaker 7 (02:01):
Explain that now I need to answer.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
It was stupid. I don't even know how to apply.
It was really stupid. It was really to be very intentional.
It wasn't I don't even know.

Speaker 7 (02:13):
And then what makes his way walking.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
Around was so stupid?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
We was giggle because it was so stupid. At the giggle.

Speaker 7 (02:20):
All the way through it, you guys just added insulted
sitting there in the one slot giggling together.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Oh man.

Speaker 9 (02:30):
Anyway, back to the matter at hand, I don't like
real life, real love.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
What is that magic that holds y'all together?

Speaker 5 (02:37):
You think, you know?

Speaker 7 (02:41):
Whenever I find that people come to our house or
are around us, I think they're kind of surprised at
how much fun we have together. I find him to
be very charming and charismatic, and one of the things
that I love most about him is his boyish nature.
So we really have a lot of fun together, and
we always since we first met.

Speaker 5 (03:02):
The first week we spent together, I thought to myself, Wow,
it's a lot of fun.

Speaker 7 (03:06):
Like he's he's like a friend, you know, and that's
part of the magic.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
And you knew that this was the person who the
rest of your life.

Speaker 5 (03:12):
After about two weeks of knowing him.

Speaker 6 (03:14):
Yes, he knew before you even spent a day together.

Speaker 7 (03:19):
Explain before before we even spent a day together.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
That well, when I first when I first seen you,
I mean I wrote in a book that I thought
you were beautiful and amazing. And the first time I
saw you were actually running track And for people that
don't know, you know tracks, she's.

Speaker 6 (03:32):
Playing track.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Like that The outfit, and you know he had you know,
big double d's and I would stop, basically stalker outside
and just watch her run track and watch a breast bottle.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Like that word don't say stalk.

Speaker 7 (03:48):
But that's actually what he was doing. It was actually stalking.
And I would see him. I would see him sitting
with his friends in this bright blue con Edison van
because that's what his parents bought him to trans to
transfer his DJ equipment from Sweet sixteen to Sweet sixteen.
And I would see it parked behind the fence.

Speaker 5 (04:11):
I'm thinking to myself, like, Yo, why.

Speaker 7 (04:12):
Is this van there every day at track practice?

Speaker 6 (04:19):
Yo?

Speaker 1 (04:20):
It was crazy?

Speaker 7 (04:21):
Yeo, it was bright blue. He wasn't low, he was
not low.

Speaker 6 (04:27):
He was just sitting in the And then one day
he emerged.

Speaker 7 (04:30):
Actually, babe, do you remember one day he emerged from
the van and approached me and kicked it And I
was like, oh, so you're that weirdo.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Both kids.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
She was fifteen, I was sixteen. We went to the
same high school.

Speaker 6 (04:43):
So and yeah, you got skipped the grade, right, yes,
skipped the grade. Okay, all right?

Speaker 4 (04:48):
So then initially, so MB you say that you knew
that she was going to be your wife, like right away,
you think it was before y'all even spoke, when he
was just stalking her.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Actually know when we actually spoke, and you know, I
found not how you know, beautiful she was inside and
outside and how smart she was and caring and she
was just that she was the one. She was the
most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life and
the most precious thing. So I was like, this is
going to be my wife.

Speaker 9 (05:14):
I want people to get the book, but I do want,
you know, to explain how do you keep reinventing the
relationship when you start that young? Now interview is fifty something,
you know what I mean, you're much much younger, But
how do you keep fifty? How do you keep reinventing?

Speaker 5 (05:29):
And I think that that's part of the magic. We
don't have to try.

Speaker 7 (05:33):
We don't intentionally. We do a lot of things intentionally
and deliberately, but we don't intentionally reimagine the relationship and
act on that. The only thing that I would say
that we're good about is keeping it sexy and making
sure that that part of our relationship doesn't get too
monotonous and doesn't get stale.

Speaker 5 (05:53):
So we have a lot of fun in that space.

Speaker 7 (05:56):
But we don't have to think, like, God, how am
I gonna stop being borned of you? Or how am
I going to get to a point where don't annoy
me anymore? He legitimately does not annoy me. I look
forward to his phone calls every day, and we probably
speak on the phone about maybe eight or nine ten
times a day because he's away a lot, you know.
So he calls me on his way to the breakfast club.
He calls me in his way home from the breakfast club.

Speaker 5 (06:18):
He calls me.

Speaker 7 (06:18):
If something happens, he calls me incessantly. It's and I'm
never like you again.

Speaker 5 (06:23):
I'm like again, you know. It's just that feeling.

Speaker 7 (06:27):
That I've always had that no matter what ups or
downs we were going through, that never left me.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
Now, he told us this story about the cowboy outfit.

Speaker 5 (06:35):
He told you about that. Wait wait wait, the.

Speaker 6 (06:38):
Cowboy outfit in college with the asses chaps that they were, Yeah,
you tell us about it.

Speaker 7 (06:45):
Oh wait, ra Sehan, did you actually tell him about
it like on error in private?

Speaker 5 (06:48):
I forgot that he did because it was in private.
This is a whole double cross.

Speaker 6 (06:54):
Jessip as a cowboy and.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
His he had okay, and I remember that that he
told his story.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
He goes, like what he did?

Speaker 5 (07:05):
Well, we were in college.

Speaker 7 (07:06):
Yeah, we went through a stage where we were doing
like a lot of uh role play.

Speaker 5 (07:11):
Yeah, And one night I dared him to be a cowboy.

Speaker 7 (07:14):
So we went and got the cowboy. He had like
the big brown hat, and then he had like the
little holsters and everything and big.

Speaker 5 (07:23):
Do you remember I took pictures?

Speaker 6 (07:24):
Where are those? Are they in the book?

Speaker 7 (07:26):
He about maybe three years after He made me physically
burn them on the grill.

Speaker 5 (07:32):
Wow, he put them on the grill and told me
I how to light it. Yeah, they don't exist.

Speaker 6 (07:36):
Don't you wish you still had that?

Speaker 1 (07:38):
Would y'all talk about role play in the book?

Speaker 9 (07:39):
You said he likes to put on the rock Nation
paper plane hat and he goes, what's my name?

Speaker 1 (07:43):
And I want you to say jiggle.

Speaker 7 (07:44):
I didn't contribute to that chapter.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Okay, that wasn't my work.

Speaker 6 (07:48):
No, I didn't do they really so he wasn't lying
they were assless chaps.

Speaker 7 (07:52):
Yeah, yeah, he had a whole It was a whole thing.

Speaker 6 (07:54):
I just pulled the yu gie. He did not tell
us that.

Speaker 7 (07:57):
Damn it to help get my book and you will
learn a slew of tactics.

Speaker 5 (08:04):
What you want out of life.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Okay, it was a holster, by the way, there were holsters.

Speaker 6 (08:09):
It was a whole, but it was some other dress
up things.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
You go, right.

Speaker 7 (08:13):
It was more so me dressing up and he was
just like the recipient of that. That that was the
one little and that's why it was a dare because
it was kind of supposed to be a joke. But
he never really dressed up one nurse and he was
a doctor.

Speaker 5 (08:25):
That was once.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
Did you really burn the pictures?

Speaker 5 (08:27):
I really did in front of him.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
Wow, you didn't have.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Negatives?

Speaker 7 (08:34):
Was going to share that ever goes left in our relationships,
I have that I will ruin.

Speaker 5 (08:39):
His entire reputation.

Speaker 7 (08:42):
I will never be able to work again, and.

Speaker 4 (08:44):
Might cross them over to a new audience for both
of you, because I know COVID hit. You guys have
planned to put this out earlier and then COVID hit.
So what was it like for y'all actually sitting down
and reliving some of these moments.

Speaker 7 (09:01):
Well, COVID and the quarantine was great for us and
our family. It affected different people differently, but we really
realized that we could spend damn near one hundred percent
of our time together and love it. When the quarantine lifted,
everybody in my house was kind of sad, you know
about that. But we did take that opportunity to write

(09:21):
the book, and some of it was fun. Some of
it was fun. It was nice to be creative and
get your thoughts down on paper. It was work, but
a lot of it was difficult.

Speaker 5 (09:34):
I'm a very open person. I'm a realist.

Speaker 7 (09:38):
Rashean I think had a difficult time because he had
to relive a lot of the negative things that transpired
in our relationship. And he can tend to be surface
in some respects where you ask him a question, he
gives you an answer. I'm a lot more of an
in depth person, you know.

Speaker 5 (09:56):
I think critically about things.

Speaker 7 (09:58):
And when we would go over these chapters that he's
assigned to write, I would ask him questions like Okay,
you can't just answer it with a yes or a
no or a simple blanket like one question would mean
ten more questions to really get to the meet And
you know, I have to keep reiterating we're writing this
book so that people have something tangible, a reference point

(10:19):
for them to make changes. In their lives if necessary,
or to recognize that the person that you're with needs
to make changes in their lives. And it was a journey.
It was a journey, but I think it was difficult.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
Nothing, it was difficult. I had to relive a lot
of the f boy ish I put you through.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
And you don't.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
You forget about a lot of it because you don't
have to relive it. But then when you start, no.

Speaker 7 (10:40):
You forget about a lot of it. I forget nothing.

Speaker 9 (10:44):
That's the point, though, right, because it's like, we don't
realize how much we do hurt our women do. Though, Yeah,
I think so. I don't think we realize how deep that.

Speaker 5 (10:54):
That sounds like an okie doke to me.

Speaker 9 (10:56):
No, I don't think we Until you actually sit down
and have those you know, comfortable conversations, you don't realize
how much you.

Speaker 7 (11:03):
Your wife cheated on you and told you that she
would have no idea how much that instood to hurt you.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
Would that makes sense to you?

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Probably not? But I mean men don't make sense.

Speaker 7 (11:16):
You believe that you believe that you're born inherently with
like a deficit.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
Not a deficit.

Speaker 9 (11:21):
But I just don't think I don't think we I
don't think we're thinking about it, you know what I mean,
Like we.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
Like that's the sad part.

Speaker 6 (11:27):
It's selfish and that's what keeps that's what.

Speaker 9 (11:28):
Keeps you from doing it in the future, you know
what I mean, because you do not want to hurt
the woman that you love. And it's so crazy because
I saw that with my pops, Like I saw the
pain that that caused my mom with his infidelity, So
in my mind, I was like, damn, I'm about to
make the same mistake. So I think it is difficult
when you got to relive it because you don't want
to talk about it because we don't want to trigger you.

Speaker 7 (11:48):
You know, some people I don't get triggered, though, Damn.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
That scared me just now.

Speaker 7 (12:02):
No, Once I got to a point, and it was
a process, it was a long process, it was years.
But once I got to a point where I accepted
that it was my job to move on because I
decided to forgive him, and because he had done all
of the work and then some to regain my trust

(12:26):
to earn grace from me.

Speaker 5 (12:29):
I got to a point where I no longer wanted
to punish.

Speaker 7 (12:32):
And I didn't have that inherent need to see him suffer.
Because when you hurt, and you say it all the time,
hurt people, hurt people. When you're hurt, you want not
just people, you want the person that hurt you to hurt.
And anytime that I felt any type of way, I
made sure that he felt some type of way. So
once I learned how to forgive, and that was a

(12:54):
process because I wasn't necessarily a forgiving person before. Everything
was very black and white to me, not very much.
But once I learned and I understood that that's what
was expected from me of God, I had to commit
to that and do my best to live up to
what forgiveness meant.

Speaker 5 (13:13):
And that's what set me free.

Speaker 7 (13:15):
Because when you forgive, you don't forgive to ease the
burden from the other person. You forgive to ease the
burden from you.

Speaker 4 (13:22):
What was the work you guys did together, like you
had to work on forgiveness and when you said, Okay,
I'm gonna, you know, have to move on from this.
But what was the work that he did that let
you know, Okay, he's serious and you know I can
finally just say I'm not getting triggered anymore.

Speaker 6 (13:40):
I'm going to let this go.

Speaker 5 (13:42):
Well.

Speaker 7 (13:43):
One of the first things was I realized that he
understood the impact of what had happened. What he did,
he understood it. He didn't just accept it and it
was accountable for it, but he actually understood. He would
do things that a lot of men wouldn't do. He

(14:03):
would sit there through those eight hour conversations locked in
a room.

Speaker 5 (14:07):
He answered every.

Speaker 7 (14:08):
Question that I had, and I had a lot of questions,
and he answered them all truthfully. And you know when
you ask somebody a question and you can tell by
their answer, because I mean, the answers weren't pretty, they
weren't things that I would have wanted to hear. He
went through all of the sufferation, as I call it,
and he did it until because a lot of guys

(14:32):
when they mess up, and I mean a lot of
them have told me. I have friends and that have
gone through it. It's like, listen, I did it.

Speaker 5 (14:39):
I apologize. I said I was never going to do
it again.

Speaker 7 (14:42):
I mean that ish right, But it's like every day
I'm being punished, I'm being punished, I'm being reminded. It's like,
let it go, I apologize, Like what more do you
want from me blood. He never took that approach with me.
It was the until until you are good, until you
are healed. If I have to be a punching bag,
I will be that. If I have to be a doormat,

(15:03):
I will be that. I will do anything that it
makes to survive this because I cannot be without you.
And he proved it every single day. It was as
though and he was like this before.

Speaker 5 (15:14):
But it was even more so during this time.

Speaker 7 (15:16):
It was as though he communicated to me that the
only thing that he wanted was to.

Speaker 5 (15:22):
Make me happy.

Speaker 7 (15:23):
And that's pretty much how he lives his life. He
lives his life every day waking up thinking like, damn,
how can I make Gea his life easier today? How
can I make gee A happier today? And every day
almost he does something sweet, something special.

Speaker 5 (15:36):
He works so hard.

Speaker 7 (15:37):
You guys know, he might sleep three hours a night,
but he'll come home and if I have a tray
on the bed and I was eating, he'll come into
the room and take it down for me, or be like, Babe,
can I bring you up some food if.

Speaker 5 (15:49):
I wasn't eating, Like he does special things.

Speaker 7 (15:52):
But to answer your question, it was the until it
was the indefinite, and it was the willingness to do
any and everything to earn what he lovet.

Speaker 6 (16:00):
And was there ever a question in your mind?

Speaker 4 (16:02):
I know there was a point when you thought, no
matter what I do, she's never gonna take me back.

Speaker 6 (16:07):
There ever a time when you were likery.

Speaker 9 (16:09):
I'm gonna come over there, hug you and just letting
you know, like you better hold them tears. I'm hung
the ship out of you from the back if you
cried in front of your wife.

Speaker 7 (16:16):
But ye, I didn't catch that little feel.

Speaker 3 (16:22):
At that point.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
I just, you know, I didn't know what was gonna happen,
but I was like, I have to be honest to
at least get my friend back, you know. And at
that point, I I, you know, I didn't know what
kid was gonna do. I thought it was a rap.
But I was like, I still wanted my friend. I
still wanted somebody I can talk to, you know, I
still wanted a relationship whether her that we can bounce
like this. She's all I knew since I was sixteen,
So I still wanted my friend back.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
ANSWER's jamaking. That could have been forever.

Speaker 4 (16:45):
Beef, But you know it's interesting that you didn't kick
him out of the house, You were still polite to him,
you still wanted to maintain a co parenting friendship. I
feel like that hurts more when you're like, we're not
having sex and I might end up with somebody else
one day, but you know we're cool. That hurt's more,
I think sometimes and just completely like being nasty to

(17:08):
somebody and cutting them off.

Speaker 7 (17:09):
Yes, Well, when I found out divorce was imminent, it
was never a question. I was raised by a very
strong mother who taught me that if a man ever
disrespects you to that degree, then you walk. So it
didn't matter how much I loved for Sean and how
much I would have missed him, and it didn't matter.

Speaker 5 (17:32):
If I cried every night.

Speaker 7 (17:33):
It did not matter one iota how I felt. The
only thing that was important to me was that I
operated with my head and not my heart, and that
I did what I always said that I was going
to do. So when I found out, when it was
confirmed for me, and you can read the book and
see the.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Entire no we want you to go get there, the
entire story.

Speaker 7 (17:55):
But when he confirmed it, we were in a parking lot,
and when I drove away from that parking lot. It
was a few days before Christmas, and his mother was
at the house helping me decorate because we were hosting
that year. But I walked into the house and I
told her, I said, Christmas is canceled. And she said, oh,
Christmas is canceled. And I said, well, I just found

(18:16):
out that Rashon cheated on me and we're getting a divorce,
so there's not gonna be any Christmas this year, at
least I'm not hosting.

Speaker 9 (18:23):
You know, it's wild that people actually canceled Christmas. I
thought that was just a figure of speech. No, no,
if this should happened, we canceling Christmas, canceled Christmas?

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Yeah, cancel Christmas.

Speaker 5 (18:33):
Well, in the sense of us hosting.

Speaker 7 (18:35):
I wasn't going to cancel it for our children, but
you know, we didn't have to decorate for thirty people
to come over.

Speaker 5 (18:40):
And my lovely mother in law, Hi.

Speaker 7 (18:44):
Mama, she defended her beautiful son with everything that she
could because pretty much, and when she said something to
that effect, I said, but for the fact that he
just told me that it was true. And he came
home maybe twenty or thirty minutes later, and it was

(19:05):
a whole thing, right, But I was adamant that we
were getting a divorce. I contacted an attorney, paid an attorney.

Speaker 5 (19:13):
It was decided.

Speaker 7 (19:17):
But thankfully, there were a whole host of things that
happened that that convinced me that God had other plans.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
What did God say to you?

Speaker 5 (19:32):
God didn't say anything to me.

Speaker 7 (19:34):
See, I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic schools
my whole life, so did for Sean. But I was
never spiritual.

Speaker 5 (19:41):
You know.

Speaker 7 (19:41):
I got to school and said to Hail Mary and
the our Father. And you know, if I prayed at night,
it was like, thank you God for all my blessings,
thank you for my life.

Speaker 5 (19:50):
You know, Can I get that new Nintendo for Christmas?

Speaker 7 (19:53):
You know, I wasn't raised with this this deeply instilled
faith where I felt as though I knew God and
I lived differently because I didn't know God in that way.
So when God revealed himself to me, and he may

(20:14):
have tried for years, you see, but I wouldn't have
I didn't speak his language. I would have never been
able to interpret God trying to reach out to me.
So I really believe that this happened so that me, particularly,
not even Rashon, so that I could be humbled, you know,
because I thought so highly of our relationship. I thought
so highly of Rashon because he was despite what he did,

(20:35):
he was a wonderful husband, a wonderful father. I was
utterly blindsided when this happened, because it was no red
flags within our house.

Speaker 5 (20:45):
He was thoughtful, affectionate.

Speaker 7 (20:46):
Kind, sweet, generous, romantic, everything that you would want him
to be, with a little dose of crazy. And there
is that in the book. I'm not saying that it
was amazing. I was really blindsided.

Speaker 5 (21:02):
But when God.

Speaker 7 (21:04):
Spoke, he spoke through other people, and when he found
when I found out what happened. It's funny we were
being approached for reality shows at the.

Speaker 5 (21:13):
Time, and.

Speaker 7 (21:16):
When he took someone's terrible advice to apologize to me
on the radio and make our personal woes private.

Speaker 5 (21:31):
Yeah, our personal woes public.

Speaker 10 (21:34):
I didn't know though. I didn't know what he was
going through. He just laying on the I didn't know
what he'd be like out of it. I'm like, yo,
what the is your problem? I didn't know what it was.
So as I'm priding him, like what the hell is
going on? I didn't know that was coming.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
Oh okay, yeah, I didn't know that.

Speaker 7 (21:50):
When he apologized, you didn't know what He would literally
come in here and be like laid out on the
floor in the fetal position the whole show, Like he
would not be here with us, he wouldn't be present,
And I just knew something.

Speaker 9 (22:02):
So no, I was like, when he gets on the air,
I'm going to ask him on the air, what is
his problem?

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Because I was tired of asking him.

Speaker 9 (22:08):
Behind the scenes, and so I asked him on the air.
I didn't know that was coming.

Speaker 1 (22:11):
Though.

Speaker 7 (22:12):
It was a terrible idea, but maybe it was the
same dose of common sense that you guys are talking about.

Speaker 6 (22:17):
Men men think differently.

Speaker 7 (22:23):
Yes, But when it was made public, my one of
my best friends, his name is Rashid, he's the husband
of my other best friend, her name is Sasha. He
called to see if what he had heard was true
because he thought that maybe it was just something being
drummed up because we're supposed to be on a reality
show or something like that. And when he called, I said, no,
everything that you heard is absolutely true, and it's it's

(22:50):
a terrible story. As you said, you know, Rashaan was
circling the drain at that time, and Rashid decided to
come to New York from California because he lives in
LA But we had a very a horrible event happened
at our home and you can read about it in

(23:10):
the book.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
Didn't like me, Rushi. You know, he always thought our relationship.

Speaker 6 (23:14):
Was toxic with you, You're too controlling.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
He thought I was too controlling, which I was at times,
but so he didn't like me. So the fact that
he flew in to try to save this relationship meant
a lot because he already didn't like me.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
I thought, you said, saved the relationship.

Speaker 6 (23:26):
That's well, that's coming, was telling too much.

Speaker 7 (23:30):
Well, well, what happened was he flew in and I
didn't want him there because our marriage was ending and
I just wanted to be by myself. But he insisted.

Speaker 5 (23:39):
He said, I'm.

Speaker 7 (23:40):
Pulling into I'm flying into Newark International Airport at such
and such a time.

Speaker 5 (23:45):
Come get me. I went, and I got him, and.

Speaker 7 (23:50):
That was the start of the biggest change that we
that we needed to go through. He came to our
house and I said, why are you here? And he said,
God said here, I said, of all people, you. You're
the only person in our lives that didn't champion our marriage.
You're the only one that ever told me that maybe
he's not the right person for me. Why you, he said, Gia,

(24:14):
I don't know. I've been praying since I got off
the phone with you. After that terrible thing happened, and
I walked into my boss's office, told him I had
to take a leave of absence, went home, packed a bag,
and got on a plane and headed here. And it's
only through the assignment of God. God spoke to me.
I said, so, what does that mean? Like, are you
hearing voices? Like, what do you mean God spoke to you?

(24:36):
And he said to me, when God speaks to you,
it says though he puts an overwhelming feeling on your heart,
and when he tells you to do something, you don't
ask any questions.

Speaker 5 (24:44):
You just do it.

Speaker 7 (24:46):
I said, okay, well, basically I have to wrap my
mind around that because I didn't have the tools to
really understand that. And he stayed with us for about
maybe ten twelve days, and he taught us a lot
about God and faith and spirituality and what his assignment was.

Speaker 5 (25:06):
And he brought in his past or, her name was
Sister Nancy.

Speaker 7 (25:09):
She had the same feedback from God when she prayed,
and this was all new to me, and I was
actually very angry because now I have people in my
life that I respect and love that are telling me
that I have to stay in a relationship that I'm
adamant on getting out of. And it was very, very heavy.
I can't describe to you how heavy it was and
how insistent he was in his assurance of what God

(25:32):
communicated to him.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
In the fast forward, Tyree's same thing. I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
You know, we knew Tyree's coming up here doing an interview,
but I didn't know Tyres had to have his number,
you know, he didn't have a new song. But when
he heard me on the radio that day, he called
and wanted to speak to Gea. And you can read
in the book because he got us together.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
But he said the exact.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
Same thing like Tyreesa Rashi was speaking to each other
and it was kind of like those two were the
ones to.

Speaker 4 (25:58):
Really marriage and they didn't know, he said, and yeah,
you had asked for a sign.

Speaker 7 (26:02):
Well that was the thing, because I was so angered
by what I was hearing, Like, oh, I was a
victim being cheated on, now being victimized again by God
telling me that I have to stay in a relationship
that I'm adamant about leaving. I don't understand this, and
I was and I'm not a big crier, but one
day I was taking a shower and I began to cry,
and I began to pray in the way that I

(26:24):
was learning how to pray, and I asked God for
a sign that I can interpret for myself, so at
least it would feel as though I was making my
own decision, and a decision wasn't being made for me,
so I damn near begged for a sign. And then
shortly after Tyrese called Rashaan and asked for him to
set something up and we went to Philippe Chow's. He

(26:46):
came in with a backup singer and a guitarist. He
performed Stay just for Rashaan and I. Then he sat
down for about four hours and we had a conversation
and he tried to explain to me how a man
can love you and still cheat at the same time,
because I didn't really understand that. But at the end
of the conversation I asked him, I said, you know.

Speaker 5 (27:05):
Why are you here? Didn't You don't even know if
I'm a good person.

Speaker 7 (27:09):
You don't know if this relationship is even worth salvaging.

Speaker 5 (27:13):
Why would you do that?

Speaker 7 (27:14):
You didn't know, Rashan, you have no dog in this fight.
You have nothing to gain or lose. You're supposed to
be at a wedding somewhere else. You changed your flights
to be here.

Speaker 5 (27:23):
Why?

Speaker 7 (27:24):
He said, God sent me here to do this. I said,
what do you mean, God sent you here to do this?
He said, God sent me? I said, are you hearing voices?

Speaker 5 (27:35):
He said no, and then.

Speaker 7 (27:36):
He reiterated verbatim exactly what Rashid said to me in
my kitchen that day. And I had to ask Russian Tyreesa.
I said, is that like in the Bible? Is that
what you just said? Is that like a thing that
people know? And he said no, I'm just telling you
how I feel.

Speaker 5 (27:52):
Like, what do you mean?

Speaker 7 (27:53):
And at that moment, I just like threw my hands
up and I said, like, okay, looked at Rashaan and
I said, I forgive you. I don't know what that means.
I will work on this with you. I don't know
how long that will take. I will do what I'm
now believing is required of me. But we're going to

(28:14):
be in for a ride because I'm not really there.
But I can commit to you in this moment because
there is not that much coincidence in the world for
what just happened.

Speaker 1 (28:25):
Yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to my wife too. I
just feel like conversation apologize.

Speaker 4 (28:33):
I'm that your mom was so strong and you knew,
you know, initially what you had to do, and your
families were so intertwined. So during this time, was she
supportive and wanting y'all to get back together or was
she like, Kia, you gotta go.

Speaker 5 (28:51):
It's funny.

Speaker 7 (28:52):
Rashawan and I have a podcast called The Casey Crew,
and I did an all girls podcast as a book
review last week, and I shared something during that podcast
that I don't know if I've even ever told Rashaan.
It's a very very private and personal thought, but I'll
share it now since you're asking.

Speaker 5 (29:11):
My mother passed.

Speaker 7 (29:13):
Away in May, and she suffered from dementia for about
maybe fourteen years, so when this all happened, she had dementia.
If my mother didn't have dementia, Rashawn and I wouldn't
be married. Today, because there would have been no way, God,

(29:37):
no God, that I could have gone to my mother
and told her what happened and told her that I
was staying. It couldn't have it could not have happened.
It would not have happened. God literally would have had
to have appeared in front of me and my mother
and convinced both of us.

Speaker 5 (29:56):
Because I wasn't raised that way.

Speaker 7 (29:59):
So what's personal about this is to me is that
I believe that whatever Rashana and I have to accomplish,
either through our marriage or through our children, is so
great that I think my mother was a casualty of that.
I think that God took my mother's sensibilities away from

(30:23):
her so that I wouldn't be in a position where
I had to make that decision. I just think that
what we have to accomplish is so great. And maybe
one of those things is this book, because I think
that our book will help a multitude of couples, and
I think that there are things in there that can
be life changing for people.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yeah, go get the book, Real Life, Real Love.

Speaker 9 (30:47):
But let's I want to talk about something positive, because
you know, you said something women have intuition. You said
you had no, Cluto right, No, But how do you
know when he's right? Because I think that's something we
don't talk about enough. I think women know when their
man is no longer really out there in the streets,
when he's actually changed. And how did you know he
had actually changed?

Speaker 5 (31:09):
That's a good question.

Speaker 7 (31:13):
I didn't because there was no aside from his over
commitment to me. After the fact, there was no change.
He was wonderful. Then I had faith in God and
a lot of people. I'll phrase the question a little
bit differently the way that people ask me, how do

(31:34):
you know that he'll never cheat again? And I tell
them because once Rashi Rashid started something, we carried that torch.
Now we're very spiritual together. We pray together every morning
before he leaves to come here.

Speaker 5 (31:49):
And.

Speaker 7 (31:52):
We have an individual relationship with God, each of us.
So if he cheats, he doesn't have to worry about me.
He has to worry about God. He has bigger fish
to fry than me. So when people ask me, you know,
what's the best relationship advice that you can give me
for my marriage, and it honestly is to keep God
at the pinnacle of your marriage.

Speaker 5 (32:14):
Be honor Him, keep your faith in him.

Speaker 7 (32:19):
Be a child of him, because when you do that,
that is what's going to guide you to be a
good person, to be honest, to be committed and faithful.
It's to him. Don't be loyal to another human. Be
led by goodness, because in that goodness you will do
right by your spouse. And that's how I feel, And

(32:41):
that's how I knew.

Speaker 5 (32:42):
That's how I knew.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
And be let me ask you, because you know, for women,
we always are like and like you said, Tyrese was
having a conversation how a man can't cheat on you
but still love you. Yeah, but why, like you know,
that's something that for women we always want to know.
And I'm sure you had so many conversations.

Speaker 5 (33:00):
I still don't like his answer.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
I don't necessarily agree with what tyre said.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
I really feel that until you know the definition of
what love really means. I think a lot of times
people just say I love you, and it's oh, I
love you. But until you understand the definition of what
love means, then you realize I don't if I love
somebody like I say, you don't want to hurt them,
You don't want to cheat on them, you don't want
to disrespect them. You don't want to have them looking
crazy because you love that person. And I don't think

(33:25):
I knew the definition of love. But when I figured
that definition of what love is and what gia meant
to me, you know, you realize I don't want to
hurt her. I don't want to see her cry, I
don't want to see her feel away. I don't want
to disrespect her. I don't want to be controlling. I
don't want to be any of those things. And when
you realize what that definition is, your outlook of life changes.

Speaker 9 (33:43):
I agree with him, and I'll add on I've explored
this in therapy. When you say you can cheat and
still love a person, you might, but you don't really
love yourself. I think a lot of times, not a
lot of times. All the time, men cheat for ego.
Like that said, it's wounded ego. It's something that where
alas it has nothing to do with all wives, nothing
to do with our girlfriends. It's something that we feel

(34:04):
like we're lacking for whatever reason, and that's what we
go and do.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
It's literally just to feed all ego.

Speaker 4 (34:10):
Do you think women cheat for the same reason as
men or you thinks different? Like when women cheat, you
think they cheat for different reasons.

Speaker 7 (34:17):
I think women also cheat for ego. Who doesn't like
to have the attention of the opposite sex, you know,
especially when you are at a deficit and you do
have holes and you need those holes filled and most
people have slight holes, you know, not that you're out
there thirsty for the attention of the opposite sex, but

(34:39):
even if it's of the same sex, when someone pays
you a compliment, like it's nice to be wanted, is
essentially what I'm saying. So for women, yeah, I mean
I think that if you're with someone and you cheat,
I think a big part of it is ego. But
then you know, you'll have people that say that they
cheat because the person at home isn't doing what they're
supposed to do, you know. And we have a son, Logan.

(35:01):
He's eighteen, so he's starting to date seriously and whatnot now.
And I had a conversation with him the other day
and I said, listen, I said, listen, if you commit
to a girl and you make her your girlfriend, one
thing I do not want you to.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
Do is cheat.

Speaker 7 (35:19):
Do not come to me and tell me that you
guys broke up because you cheated on her. Because I've
raised you better than that. If you decide that you
want something else or she's not satisfying whatever needs you have,
break up with her and move on to the next.
And if within a week you feel the same way
about that girl, break up with her and move on
to the next. Do not cheat because you're sacrificing your

(35:40):
own integrity when you do that, And that's pretty much
a sign of really not loving yourself. When you love yourself,
you want to be self actualized. You want to be
your best self. You want to reach your highest potential.
You want to be a kind, a good person, and
you owe that to yourself. You don't necessarily owe it
to the other person. You owe it to yourself to
do those things. And that's what I'm trying to instill

(36:01):
in him as my oldest male child.

Speaker 5 (36:04):
You know, Logan going to.

Speaker 9 (36:05):
Be breaking up with a lot of girls unless you
find that one like y'all did early.

Speaker 6 (36:12):
He will be bringing up with now during this time.
Did anybody get in your d MS. I'm just curious.

Speaker 5 (36:19):
When the cheating happened.

Speaker 6 (36:20):
Yeah, Like you know, I wasn't. People were thinking maybe
it's you know, it might be back on the market.

Speaker 7 (36:25):
I wasn't on Instagram at the time. I didn't even
know how to operate Instagram. I've never been on Facebook.
I've never been on Twitter.

Speaker 3 (36:33):
So he has no social media. She has no Twitter,
no Facebook.

Speaker 7 (36:36):
Well now I have Instagram, but at the time, which
is probably why he was able to accomplish what he
accomplished in all of his Deceit.

Speaker 5 (36:47):
Funny.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
The book is more about cheating guys.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
Can we get.

Speaker 9 (36:52):
Very triggering conversation? No, it really is, because I've heard
all of this before.

Speaker 5 (36:57):
Oh have you really?

Speaker 7 (36:58):
Yeah? Yeah, it's like it's not this, it's talk about it,
but your it is about a lot more than that.

Speaker 4 (37:07):
And we got to see, like early on things that
you guys had to work on within yourselves, you know,
for you and b when did you get over being
so possessive and because there's one thing about being protective,
but then it crosses the line when it's overly done
and it feels like you were very jealous and possessive
and insecure. How did you manage to cope with and

(37:31):
overcome that?

Speaker 3 (37:32):
Well, it happened.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
Because I mean I was I was DJ Shrimp at
first when I was five foot four, had glasses, had braces,
and had acne.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
I wasn't running around, you know.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
Here's what I said is but like my mom would say,
I wasn't to catch me out like nobody was. I
wasn't hoiling at nobody. Nobody was hollering at me. That's
what mom would say.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
She was doing charity gear.

Speaker 6 (37:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (37:56):
I thought that he was very cute and like I
said earlier, charismatic was like a fixed.

Speaker 9 (38:00):
Oh my goodness, he was your first renovation.

Speaker 7 (38:07):
That's what.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
We got to take.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
So, you know, I was I was very insecure.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
So when she would go out, I would always think, damn,
she gonna find somebody that smarter, that looks better, that
does this, that does that.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
So I was.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Always in skills. So I never wanted her to go out.
If she did go out, I never wanted her to
wear anything sexy. I kind of wanted to control it.
So I was always fearful that she would find somebody else.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
And I think what changed me.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
I think she did, you know, basically say that you
know I was worthy that you know, she wasn't gonna
leave me for somebody else.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
And it was just conversation.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
Was it was my own insecurity that was affecting hurt
in our relationship.

Speaker 9 (38:48):
As you got older, you think it was guilty conscience
because you knew what you was doing, and you might
have been projecting on her things.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
She might have been doing the same thing.

Speaker 7 (38:58):
No, he had been like that since the very very beginning.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
It was you know, it was it was insecurity, and
then you got to think she was beautiful. So she
had all these.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Different celebs and all these different people hollering at her.
So you know, she would come back and tell me, like,
you know, one time, I don't know if we put
this in the book, but somebody.

Speaker 3 (39:14):
Gave you a watch, right, I'm like, yes, gave a
bot a watch at the mall and gave it to him.

Speaker 5 (39:20):
Yeah, I mean, I'm like, while I was shopping, he
liked me.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
I did what any guy would do. I put it
under the truck, rand it over seven times.

Speaker 7 (39:27):
Yeah, he sure did. I couldn't even give it to
his mother or my mother, Like I understood that he
didn't want me to wear it, and the person didn't
give it to me directly. I was shopping and I
was looking at Mavado watches at the time, and he
hallowed and I turned him down. Then when I left,
he went and asked a salesperson what was she looking at?

Speaker 5 (39:44):
What was she interested in?

Speaker 7 (39:45):
And he bought me an esperanza levado esperanza.

Speaker 5 (39:49):
This year we were there's a little bit oldero.

Speaker 7 (39:51):
He was clearly like in the twenty or or something
in college. Yeah, and he took the box and the
bag and wrote a note and put it on my car.
So he had seen obviously he had seen me, you know,
come from the parking lot and then yeah, so so
I didn't. I wouldn't have accepted it from him if
he tried to give it to me.

Speaker 5 (40:12):
It was on my car, so.

Speaker 7 (40:13):
I brought it home. I was like, oh my god,
guess what happened? Like I told the story, Rashaan was
irate and literally put it behind his back wheel and
ran it over and then put the car and drive
ran it over again.

Speaker 5 (40:23):
Back in her verse.

Speaker 7 (40:27):
Donated that watch, was like, we could have given it
to somebody, and every gifted.

Speaker 6 (40:33):
That watch.

Speaker 4 (40:36):
Yes, Like there was also an instance where he caught
you in the club grinding on somebody. My gosh, this
is funny to me because Vy is like, you know,
he acts really different here than.

Speaker 6 (40:52):
I would not.

Speaker 7 (40:53):
You don't get any doses of his crazy though.

Speaker 6 (40:55):
What Well, but you know what it is. Emmy is petty.
Mvy is petty.

Speaker 7 (41:02):
He's petty, but I don't cross him.

Speaker 6 (41:05):
Like certain things that he does. I'm like Amvy was
out of his mind.

Speaker 7 (41:11):
Well that night we were in college and he had
a party at Virginia State. Now, Rashwan saw to it
that every single and I mean every one hundred percent
of the parties that he did while we were in college,
he made sure that I was at every single party
with him. I was in the DJ booth. I was
not allowed to leave the DJ booth. If I wanted

(41:32):
an Amaretto sour from the bar, he would send little Sean,
who is our friend, to the bar to get it
for me.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Story that has nothing to do with this. We're talking
about your book.

Speaker 7 (41:46):
And if I tried to break out of the DJ
booth when he wasn't looking, then I would always have
two of his friends escorting me to make sure that
no one kicked it.

Speaker 6 (41:54):
To me, let me out of his cage.

Speaker 7 (41:56):
Yes, so it would be me every time we hung out,
wud be me and like.

Speaker 5 (42:00):
Seven to eight dudes. I was always just like the homie.
I was always there.

Speaker 7 (42:04):
And this one night he had a party at Virginia
State and I couldn't fit in the car because he
was bringing you know, his friends for security and whatnot.
And that night there was a party at the armory.
I was like, okay, I'm going to the party at
the armory.

Speaker 5 (42:14):
He was like, no, you're not.

Speaker 7 (42:16):
I was like, oh, yes, I am. Turned into a
big argument. I was like, all right, well, I'll just
tell you that I'm not and go anyway. So that's
what I did. He's on his way. I'm at the party.
I'm dancing with a dude. Little Sean is at the
armory too.

Speaker 5 (42:30):
He sees him. He calls Rashaan. Rashon buses a yui.
Now you know how important this syst to him, because
there's nothing.

Speaker 7 (42:37):
That he loves more besides than making some money. We
know that he forfeited that money. Made a U turn
came back. I'm dancing with the kid. I look up.
I see Rashaan charging towards me. The fear of God
came over me, and it was as though I felt
like my life flashed before me, like I felt whatever
that hormone is, I felt it rushed through my body.

Speaker 5 (42:59):
And he came. He grabbed me.

Speaker 7 (43:00):
He threw me over his shoulder, caveman style, and then
rushed me to like the other side of the of
the dance hall.

Speaker 6 (43:08):
This is next level, like this.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
Is the stereotypical lights skin Nigga s I don't know
what you're talking about. It you know.

Speaker 5 (43:15):
What I mean? Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 7 (43:18):
And then we had a conversation where, you know, he
made me very well aware how disappointed he was, how
hurt he was to see me.

Speaker 5 (43:25):
I guess just thank God, right, No, how he.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
First moved to Jersey, he moved.

Speaker 9 (43:38):
I don't think we should tell the story because it
just makes you sound even more horrible.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Okay, I don't think you should tell this story.

Speaker 5 (43:45):
All right, that's gonna be on the chopping block.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
We could if you want to get it.

Speaker 5 (43:50):
I want to know.

Speaker 9 (43:52):
Well, I moved into an apartment complex, and the woman
at the apartment complex they, I think, I think you should,
you know, watch envy. And I said, we you mean
watch envy, like I think you should, you know, just
be be careful around envy. And I'm like, all right,
I'm thinking she about to tell me, you know, he's
a grimy, dude, think whatever she was like, because you
know he's got a boyfriend in this building.

Speaker 7 (44:11):
I know what building you moved into.

Speaker 9 (44:13):
Okay, yes, yes, so you got a boyfriend in this building.
He looks like you. You're like the same height. Wow,
and heads you have the same complexion.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
And I'm like what she was?

Speaker 9 (44:22):
I mean, I just I just see him come over here,
and then you just hear moaning, moaning, moaning.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
Oh there was.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
No moaning, but.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Visits showing, and and for for a long time they
thought that me and Sewan, I guess were gay lovers.

Speaker 7 (44:35):
Oh wow, look at how rumors get started.

Speaker 5 (44:39):
Boy moaning, were moaning.

Speaker 7 (44:46):
A girl?

Speaker 1 (44:51):
Oh my god.

Speaker 6 (44:53):
Okay, whatever in the.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Book that you read in there, that's positive, man.

Speaker 6 (44:58):
Listen.

Speaker 4 (44:59):
The positive thing is a together and that sometimes, you know,
to get to the positivity, you got to go through
a lot of ugliness.

Speaker 9 (45:05):
But that's the thing, right, I already know that it's
gonna be a lot of judgment, you know what I'm saying,
And people are like, oh, how.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
Could you stay through that?

Speaker 9 (45:11):
And then they're gonna try to pain an interview to
be some controlling, abusive person.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
But y'all were young, like people don't factor that in.

Speaker 7 (45:18):
Well, let's just clarify. You know, when we use the
word abusive, that's a heavy word, right, and abuse comes
in ultimate forms. I understand what you're saying, But he
was never physically abusive, and I've never been scared of him.
I just knew that his controlling nature was rooted in
his insecurity, and I felt as though I could show

(45:43):
him enough love that he would eventually get to a
point where he would feel secure and understand that he's
worthy of all of the love that I give him.
You know what I mean, because it took convincing, and
I literally had to convince like, I am, I'm not leaving,
I'm not going anywhere. I am thrilled to be with you.
I am happy that we're in college. I'm like, we

(46:05):
plan on getting married, starting a family, but he wouldn't
let go of it.

Speaker 9 (46:11):
One of the biggest things I think that came out
of this was all the work that he did do
on himself. And he was suicideal at a point. That's
we know that, right. Yes, I don't think that was
all because of what was going on with you. I
think it was, like I said, it was other things
that he was dealing with inside of him that probably
got him to that point.

Speaker 7 (46:29):
Yes, we would have to ask him, because we've never
had a conversation of it being about anything besides the
threat of losing our relationship.

Speaker 3 (46:40):
I would say this.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
I would say, you know, I used to look at
people who committed suicide as soft and sucker, like that's
that's what society made you think, until I got into
that predicament where I felt like my life, well everybody's
life around me would be better if I wasn't here,
and I couldn't shake it. And the majority of it
was losing my wife, losing my family, losing the thing

(47:02):
that I knew and that I loved, and I really
feel like I didn't want to be there, and and
I guess it was everything else that we said, like
the insecurities that made me do it, the insecurities around.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
Me, and I just didn't know who I was as
a person.

Speaker 1 (47:15):
Oh that's powerful, that's the big I will say.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
During all of that, in all those conversations and all
those late night talks and with praying, you feel like
you realize who you are as a person. And once
you figure that out, you figure out who you want
to be who you want to who you want to
live like, and you don't care about anything else. You know,
at one time I used to care what people thought.
Now I don't care. As long as my wife and

(47:39):
my family's happy. Everything else is just white noise behind it.

Speaker 4 (47:42):
Just think about how much younger you guys are as individuals,
and your marriage is so much stronger after everything you've
been through.

Speaker 9 (47:47):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, if you said something powerful
to because this business, this business will have you living
a lot because we're characters, right, So we create these
characters that kind of protect the Rashan and protect the
Lenad and we go home and we won way, but
then we're out in the street being another way. But
you can't do both. Eventually that negative is going to
catch up. Yeah, So that's why I think he was

(48:09):
going through, like not only just the threat of losing you,
but just like who am I was.

Speaker 5 (48:13):
That hard for you having this dual personality?

Speaker 2 (48:18):
Almost absolutely, because I mean, like, nothing's better now than
to not care what people think. You know, I would
have to freedom freedom, I would have to think about
what I was saying or radio and how would affect me,
how people would look at me. I would have to
think about this or I think about that instead of
just being free and say, hey, it is what it is.
Take it how you like it. If you like me,
you like me. If you love me, you love me.
If you hate me, you hate me.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
And once I got to that place, life became a
whole lot better.

Speaker 7 (48:44):
So to his question, was there anything aside the law,
the threat of the loss of the relationship that made
you feel as though that was why.

Speaker 5 (48:55):
You were occupying that mental space, I think it was
a little bit of everything.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
I think it was the insecurities of not being free.
I think it was the fact that I was losing
my best friend. I think it was the fact that
I feel like I disappointed my best friend, disappointed my family,
disappointed my kids.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
So I think I had a lot to.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
Do with all of that.

Speaker 9 (49:13):
And I think wearing that mask too, because I think
a lot of times what we really want to kill
is is our ego. We don't necessarily necessarily know how
to do that. If we didn't weren't doing well, I
wasn't doing the work then, because when I started going
to therapy and everything else, that I learned how to
kill the ego. Before you learn how to kill the ego.
Only thing you think is like he said, I don't
I don't need to be here.

Speaker 5 (49:30):
But you said that you wanted to kill the ego.

Speaker 7 (49:32):
Did you actually want to before you went to therapy
and realized that you should kill the ego, you enjoyed
the ego.

Speaker 1 (49:37):
Yeah, I didn't know what it was.

Speaker 9 (49:38):
Yeah, I didn't even know that's what I was projecting.
I didn't even know that's what I was leading with
was ego. I didn't even know that till I sat
down with like, oh, okay, I get it now.

Speaker 5 (49:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (49:48):
When everything happened and came to the surface, it was
like a ton of bricks fell out of the sky
and hit me on the head. It was like, wow,
he really is damn near two people, Like he's Rashawn,
husband and father in this house and he gets tens
across the board for that. But when he leaves, there's

(50:11):
an ego, there's a bravado. There's a whole persona separate
and apart from what I experience in this house. And
I've been out with him and whatnot. But this was
at a time when things were starting to shift. This
was you know, we just got married and we have
two beautiful children, and now I'm not going to the
clubs with him because even though he would want me to,

(50:32):
and he would want me to travel, I have two
kids at home to raise and I wanted to give
them all of my free time attention. And then his
celebrity started to grow, you know, he became more successful
and his dreams became realized, and he went off, I
realized later in that direction, enjoying that and then also

(50:53):
enjoying have the faithful, loving wife and children at home.
So it was the pretty much the definition of having
your cake and eating it too.

Speaker 6 (51:02):
And it's probably also difficult.

Speaker 4 (51:03):
You guys got together so young, you know, he didn't
experience other relationships really.

Speaker 5 (51:10):
So let me tell you.

Speaker 7 (51:11):
When I found out, Angela, I knew that I didn't
want him to be my husband anymore. But I understood
how it happened because we're together, like you said, since
we're fifteen and sixteen. He was my first and only everything.

(51:34):
The furthest I've ever gotten before him was second base,
you know, which is letting a boy go up your shirt.

Speaker 8 (51:41):
Right, We've been a second base king, that's what they
call it.

Speaker 7 (51:54):
You let him feel on your knips, you haven't exposed
him to your nips.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
We definitely.

Speaker 5 (52:08):
We did that.

Speaker 7 (52:09):
We did, but that was the farthest that I had
ever been so and he was like virgin ish. He
was in a relationship with his first like girlfriend. I
think they were together for maybe three months and if

(52:30):
if I'm telling it right, they started but never finished.

Speaker 5 (52:34):
So he was like.

Speaker 7 (52:34):
Virgin ish, right, and he couldn't handle No, that's not
what I said.

Speaker 5 (52:41):
I was scared, Okay, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Explained that came. I'm just over here.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
You know, was the turtle because I was so slow?

Speaker 7 (52:52):
I wasn't And it was nice because you called you turtle.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
I mean that was my nickname.

Speaker 6 (52:57):
Let me write this down.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
I don't want to get turtle, go ahead.

Speaker 5 (53:01):
And it was good.

Speaker 7 (53:01):
I was a turtle too, you know. I lost my
virginity to him on our one year anniversary anniversary and
he made it very sweet and special and it was
it was really nice.

Speaker 5 (53:13):
But what were we saying?

Speaker 4 (53:14):
What did you are we talking about? You guys were
so young, so you had that oh yeah, so yeah.

Speaker 6 (53:19):
So.

Speaker 7 (53:21):
I understood because it was like he was so inexperienced.
We were in high school together every day, We're in
college together every day. Then as soon as we graduate,
we get married, we have children, and then he's on
a path towards his career and he's out of the
house and he's traveling, and now he's around celebrities and

(53:41):
being influenced by our hip hop culture, which glorifies having
groupies and cheating and always having women around you and
being in the club. At that time, you didn't see
your favorite celebrity showcasing their wife or their family or
speaking on the important family the way that you guys

(54:01):
do on this platform, and doing that changes lives. I'm
sure you were taught to hide him, and you were
taught to hide them.

Speaker 9 (54:09):
Don't tell you got a girlfriend. I don't tell people you've
been in long term relationship like they would.

Speaker 5 (54:12):
Say that absolutely.

Speaker 7 (54:13):
Even you know young people now on Instagram they have
the same thing. It's like, Oh, I'm gonna pretend or
I'm gonna I'm not gonna post I love you to death.
I'm not going to post you because you know, I'm
trying to do this business and it seems like I
have a girlfriend and it's not gonna be successful.

Speaker 5 (54:25):
It's that mentality.

Speaker 7 (54:27):
So all of these things contributed to him being put
in a position where cheating might have seemed like the
route that he wanted to go.

Speaker 5 (54:38):
And when we talked about.

Speaker 7 (54:39):
It, I understood because we've been together so long and
I know him so well. I love him, not necessarily,
just as like my husband. I love him like he's
my brother too.

Speaker 5 (54:52):
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 7 (54:53):
And if it were your brother that got cheated, got
caught cheating, and he came home and told you, like Angela,
you know, I just got what she found out to do.
What would be your need, your intuition to do? I
cover for him exactly. That's the point, Like you want
to help. You want to be like, well, now this
is what you need to do. You need to go apologize,
You need to do this, start helping him pull those

(55:14):
tricks out of the hat. You know, you get protective.
So even when he told me, I got protective in
a sense, and I wanted to understand why he did
it now, while at the same time not wanting to
be with him. As his wife, I was devastated, but
as his friend, I understood how he was in a
place where that happened.

Speaker 4 (55:35):
See a lot of gems in this book, you guys.
I was thoroughly entertained, and like I said.

Speaker 5 (55:39):
I look stressed.

Speaker 6 (55:40):
He does. I think he's been nervous all morning before.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
You guys conversation.

Speaker 9 (55:46):
Yes, if you've ever been a man in that situation
and you've called that kind of harm near wife and
your family, it's but I feel like.

Speaker 7 (55:52):
For him it shouldn't be anymore because I'm not affected
by it.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
But every time realized how much of a how much
I hurt you and how much I hurt our family,
Like writing that book was real difficult because I had
we had to go through the early stages of insecurities
and things that you know we laugh at now, but
back then you'll be.

Speaker 9 (56:11):
Like, gosh, what was wrong with and do you also
exactly and do you realize how much how disappointed you
are on yourself that question?

Speaker 3 (56:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (56:18):
What the fuck was wrong?

Speaker 2 (56:20):
But then I also think, you know, we got daughters,
Like if my daughter brought a guy home like me?
What Like I wouldn't want my daughter to day a
guy like me back then. Now I'm a totally changed person,
different person, mind frames on a wholy different thing, But
back then I wouldn't want that.

Speaker 7 (56:37):
And you know what's nice for our older two children.
They were maybe eight and ten when this happened, so
they're well aware of what happened. So it's nice for
them to be able to see that something completely devastating
can happen and you can survive it if.

Speaker 5 (56:55):
You go about it the right way.

Speaker 7 (56:57):
If you understand the definition of love, you understand and
the definition of forgiveness, you work at it.

Speaker 5 (57:02):
You have that until mind frame. You know, you don't.

Speaker 7 (57:07):
Act like you're too good to do those things until
and now they get to enjoy the beauty and the
magic of our family and our house is really magical.
And that's why, you know, when we were coming up
with the title of the book, I told our I
told Abrams, like, that has to be in the title

(57:28):
because I honestly feel like our house is magical.

Speaker 5 (57:31):
Like you come into our house.

Speaker 7 (57:32):
And it's just filled with so much love, fun and
happiness all the time, where it's always jokes, it's always roasting.
Rashanta and I play fight a lot, you know, we
joke with our kids. Like our kids come in and
they talk to us for hours. They tell us everything. Madison,
who's now out of the house and she goes to NYU,
she's a sophomore.

Speaker 5 (57:52):
She calls facetimes me seven eight times a.

Speaker 7 (57:55):
Day, you know, like it's just this tight unit of
a thing family, and they get to see that butt
for forgiveness, but for perseverance, but most importantly, but for God.
But for God, none of this would have been possible.

(58:15):
So there's lessons in it for our children, specifically to
live out what you preach.

Speaker 4 (58:21):
Well, I'm glad you're in this space. Would have been weird,
you know. I mean, we came home with that underwear
one day, right.

Speaker 5 (58:28):
Did you pee yourself out and published that?

Speaker 1 (58:31):
I showed it myself appealing.

Speaker 6 (58:33):
Yeah, do you notice that?

Speaker 5 (58:35):
I remember when that happened.

Speaker 4 (58:37):
Oh wait, wait, his underwear away, and I'm like, any
other time you might have been like, why doesn't my
husband have on underwear?

Speaker 1 (58:46):
It comes home, Janitor.

Speaker 9 (58:48):
Said, I don't know what's going on in that studio,
but there's some screening stuff going on in that studio.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
My goodness. The book is out today.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
Go get it, man, Make sure you pick it up.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
Real life, real.

Speaker 9 (58:58):
Love, Get it today life lessons on enjoy, pain and
the magic that holds us together.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
That's right, Amazon, Bonds and Nobles, wherever you buy books,
your local bookstores.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
Please pick it up.

Speaker 7 (59:08):
Today April nineteenth.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
Yes, and when you do read it, you read it please.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
What we want you to do is we want you
to tell us what you think about the book, whether
it's a thirty second video taggy and now we want
to repost.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
It, whether you love it, whether you hate it.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
We're going to repost all of them because we love
to get you guys's feedback.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
And I think that y'all gonna help a lot of couples.

Speaker 9 (59:25):
And it's clear that y'all too are meant to be
with each other, you know what I'm saying, But not
only all out there. Some of y'all gonna have to
leave the person that you're with when they get caught
up in these situations with y'all are.

Speaker 7 (59:35):
Different, yeah, because a lot of people aren't willing to
do the work. A lot of people don't have that
until in.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
Mind, and that's very important.

Speaker 7 (59:43):
Until it's just until dot dot dot, you know. And
there's also a list in the book that one of
my favorite chapters is called the New Deal, and it's
pretty much about reparations that the offender has to make
after offending their partner. And it's those things that will
help to let to signal to your partner that you

(01:00:06):
just may be worthy of forgiveness and being extended grace.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
So what are those reverations?

Speaker 9 (01:00:10):
Is the first thing people will say, Oh, that's why
he does the Twelve Days of Christmas.

Speaker 5 (01:00:14):
You know, that's right, a lot of people do so.

Speaker 7 (01:00:18):
But you know what's funny, and that's the funny thing.
We've always done twelve Days of Christmas. We just never
made it public. And it's not the type of thing
that at first I ever wanted to make.

Speaker 5 (01:00:30):
Public because it is grand. But I decided to start
posting it.

Speaker 7 (01:00:37):
Because it's not about the material items that he gives
me for Christmas.

Speaker 5 (01:00:43):
It's about the intention behind it. It's about the thought.

Speaker 7 (01:00:47):
You know, he starts shopping almost a year in advance
for that, and every gift comes with something special, a
little note, a little treasure hunt to find the gift,
a prayer, a poem, something that is giving up his heart,
not giving up his pocket.

Speaker 9 (01:01:04):
And that's why when you you know, you read the
book and you hear y'all talk, that's why you understand
why he got so upset at these in Maryland. Correct,
you know what I'm saying, because you'll relationship is so
much deeper.

Speaker 7 (01:01:14):
Of course, you know, because with their comment, it almost
to me suggests as though there's nothing else worthy about him.
Sure that would signal me to stay aside from what
he has to offer financially. And it's a joke, right,
But we all know that all jokes are rooted in

(01:01:35):
some truth, and that's what I think their truth was.
Looking at it from an outsider, I wasn't some Jackie
come lately and met somebody with money and was like, ooh,
come up. We ground it out from day one, you know.
I was always there and supporting him and loving him.

(01:01:57):
And if he failed and wound up being a secretary
or anything followed another path, I would still be there.

Speaker 8 (01:02:06):
Yeah, a proctologist, did that take it?

Speaker 7 (01:02:12):
It took a beat to get that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
I just can't believe.

Speaker 6 (01:02:19):
What are you talking.

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
I'm just suggesting other career options that I can't.

Speaker 3 (01:02:23):
Believe he's with me, with my wife Hed.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
It's like, you're disrespectful, real life, real love. Go get
it right.

Speaker 3 (01:02:28):
And I just also want to say, Charlemagne is not
in chapter sixty nine.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
He I'm on page sixty nine.

Speaker 3 (01:02:33):
He's not on page sixty nine. Either right, Charlemagne is not.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
There's no love situation with me and Charlemagne in the book, right,
it doesn't exist.

Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
But we appreciate you for that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
You got to say that. Let's everybody know that it's
in there.

Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
Oh my goodness. We appreciate you for joining us this morning.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
Real life, real Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
Guys, that's right, pick it up today and it's the
Breakfast Club.

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
Good morning.

Speaker 9 (01:02:53):
No, you got to tell this guest I love you
before you sign off.

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Yes, Casey, thank you for joining us. I love you,
I love you, I love you way more thing. Charloumae,
it's the Breakfast Club.

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
Good morning,