November 21, 2024 • 14 mins
Bestselling author, motivational speaker and podcaster Mel Robbins joins the Billy & Lisa in the Morning show live in-studio to promote her new book 'The Let Them Theory.' Robbins teaches us how to let go of what we can't control - including what's going on around us and the people in out lives. She tells us to simply "let them" - don't let those things rob us of our time and energy. We also announced our latest edition of Lisa's Book Club with Robbins as our special guest. The event sold out in simply minutes.
Listen to Billy & Lisa in the Morning weekdays from 6-10AM on Kiss 108 on the iHeartRadio app!
Listen to Billy & Lisa in the Morning weekdays from 6-10AM on Kiss 108 on the iHeartRadio app!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you put aside twenty five cents every week for
a year, what could you get at the end A
few cups of coffee, maybe a candle, Or you could
get a year of the best reporting from all over
the world. Go to Washingtonpost dot com slash BF twenty
four right now. You'll get a Washington Post subscription for
twenty five cents a week for your first year. This
(00:22):
is a Black Friday sale, so it won't last long.
Washingtonpost dot com slash BF twenty four.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It's beginning to sound a lot like the holidays. The
Roku Channel your home for free and premium TV is
giving you access to holiday music and genre base stations
from iHeart all for free. Find this soundtrack of the
season with channels like iHeart Christmas and north Pole Radio.
The Roku channel is available on all Roku devices, Web, Amazon, fireTV,
(00:51):
Google TV, Samsung TVs, and the Roku Mobile app on
iOS and Android devices. So stream what you love and
siron up that year with iHeart Radio on the Roku Channel.
Happy Streaming.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
After the movie Free Willy became a hit, word got
out that the star of the film, a killer whale
named Keiko, was sick and still living in a tiny
pool in a Mexican amusement park. Fans were outraged, kids
demanded his release. I'm Danielle Dragon from Serial Productions in
The New York Times comes the good Will, a story
about the wildly ambitious science experiment to return Keiko to
the ocean. Listen to new episodes on Thursdays. Want early
(01:25):
access to the whole show, subscribed at The Times at
ny Times dot com. Slash podcasts to listen on Apple
Podcasts and Spotify if.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
You want to talk about viral best selling author Motivational Speaker,
one of the biggest podcasts in the world. Ah, and
just ridiculous. Mel Robbins, I can't believe you're sitting in
the studio.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Yes, Hi, I can't either, because I've spent years and
years of my life in my car listening to you.
So it's really cool to be here in person.
Speaker 6 (01:52):
I've never in my life seen more salespeople come up
and want their picture taken with anyone else, but Mel's here,
and you're taking over the world, and I'm so happy
you're here. Because we have a big announcement. You will
actually be coming to Lisa's book club in January because
you have a new book out.
Speaker 5 (02:12):
Yeah, so we're going to be doing a live event.
This is the first live event I've ever done in Boston,
that I've ever done period, and I'm really excited to
be partnering with you here in my hometown. We raised
our kids here for twenty six years, and our studios
for the podcast is in Seaport, and to be able
(02:34):
to kick off not only a book tour, but the
mission that I have to really help you understand how
important it is to let go of the things that
you can't control and to stop trying to control the
people in your life. Doing event is my checklist. Okay,
I don't know what's happening. It's like the vibes in
(02:54):
the room here of our outrageous and so I want
to teach you how to let go of what you
can't control, and that is basically the things happening around
you and what other people are doing, thinking, they're saying.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
So the book is called the Let Them Theory, yep,
and that's exactly what it is.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
Yeah. So the Let Them Theory is very simple everybody,
and you're gonna love it. You're going to get it immediately.
It's just two simple words. That's how it starts.
Speaker 7 (03:19):
Let them.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Anytime somebody's pissing you off, Can I say that on
radios on podcasts? Okay, anytime somebody's making you mad, or
you're frustrated, or you feel your emotions taking over, just
say let them. You know, traffic is backing up on
the masspect let them. They're doing construction and the tunnel,
let them. Your boss is in a bad mood, let them.
(03:40):
Your kids don't want to do something with you that,
let them. Because what you're going to start to realize
is you allow other people and things beyond your control
to stress you out, to make you anxious, and what
happens is it robs you of all your time and energy.
And your time and energy is the most precious resource
that you have in life, because where you put your
(04:01):
time and energy is what you experience in your life.
And what I'm going to prove to you both in
this book and in this incredible event, you better get
your tickets. This sucker is going to sell out. We
are already getting hammered about how do we get what
you're going to tell everybody? And we're going to be
doing live Q and A. You're going to feel so
motivated afterwards because you're not only going to understand that
(04:21):
you have been unknowingly giving your power to other people.
You navigate your life by what they say, how they feel,
and you don't have to live like that. There's a
better way. And every time you say let them, you
recognize that this is something that you don't have to control.
And then part two of the theories, you go, let me,
(04:42):
let me focus on what I'm going to say, what
I'm going to think, and what I'm going to do,
because that's where your power.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
And I think we've all been through that.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
We do, and it instantly calms you down.
Speaker 6 (04:51):
You like, let them treat me this way because I
can decide whether I want to be with them or not.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Yes. Yes, So a lot of times in relationships, for examples,
I've got two, I've got twenty five, twenty three to
nineteen year old kids, and when I look at somebody
who's dating right now, and there's a real, you know,
fear about being the single friend or the fear about this,
and so we accept lesson we deserve. And here's what
you need to know. People's behavior is the truth. So
(05:17):
how somebody treats you is how they feel about you.
Do not listen to somebody's words, watch what they do.
And if somebody is treating you in a way that
is not what you deserve, let them because they're revealing
who they are. And here's the thing. Most of us
then grip and we make excuses, and you know, we
start to get desperate and clingy, or we tiptoe around
(05:39):
like the way that somebody's feeling. No, just let them
be and then say, let me decide what I'm going
to do about this. Are these table scraps what I'm
going to accept in my life?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
No.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
And it's amazing because the messages you send are received
in such a warm way. Since we mentioned you were
coming in. Uh huh, I mean we have been inundated
with talk packs and with phone calls justin you want
to give one to us right now.
Speaker 8 (06:05):
I'm so excited. I just got my ticket to Lisa's
book Club to see Mel Robbins, and I just can't
believe it. Mel Robbins has completely changed my life. Her
book The Five Second Rule, her instagram, her podcast. I
just love her so much. She's so inspirational and I
cannot wait to read her new book. I'm like a
(06:27):
little kid on Christmas morning.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
So when does the book actually come out? The book
comes out December twenty fourth, So I'm a last minute chopper.
So for all of us that are going to be
out there on December twenty fourth, you know, your sister
who's annoying doesn't need a sweater, She needs to learn
how to take care.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
This is amazing. When do you come up with these thoughts?
And how you know the five second rule and the
slithering and all time?
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Guys, I'll tell you how I have learned everything that
I talk about the hard way by screwing up my
own life. Like I learned the five second rule, which
is basically this thing that sounds so dumb. You count
backwards like NASA launches a rocket five four three two one,
and then move because I couldn't get myself out of bed.
I mean fifteen years ago, when my husband was in
(07:13):
the restaurant business in the Boston area, I lost my job.
It was two thousand and eight. We all had pretty
lousy year two thousand and seven. Two thousand and eight, Yeah,
the leans hit the house. We found ourselves almost a
million dollars in debt. I was unemployed, our kids three
kids ages ten and under, and you know there are
going to be times in your life where you don't
know if you have what it takes to face the
(07:36):
things that are going on. And in that time in
my life, the simplest things from opening up my bills
which I couldn't pay, to telling my friends the truth
about what was going on, to just getting out of bed.
I mean, we all know laying in bed and staring
at the ceiling and ruminating about your problems and then
looking at your phone. It's not helping, but we can't
(07:59):
seem to make ourselves do it. And so it kind
of was one of these moments where I hit my
own rock bottom. Am I gonna lose everything that I
care about? Because I was facing these problems, you know,
like a champ. I was drinking myself into the ground.
I was blaming everything on Chris, and I was just
letting the anxiety consume me. And I just had this thought,
maybe if I moved fast enough, maybe if I launched
(08:21):
myself like a rocket, I'd actually move faster than the
anxiety that was hitting And it worked. And so I
just started sharing things that were working for me. And
here's what I found. Every single one of us knows
the little things that we could do to be kinder
to ourselves, to take better care of ourselves, we don't
do it. And when you start to find little tools,
(08:44):
whether it's saying let them, just let them, like, we
know we don't want other people to stress us out.
We know that we'd rather feel a little bit more
peaceful and powerful in our lives. I know that I
don't want to nitpick at my husband like. This has
been life saving for my marriage, for my relationship with
my kids. Because who pisses you off the most the
people you love, Like I think family is in your
(09:04):
life to teach you how to love people you don't
like right and let them. They're not changing, so why
create frustration. Let them be who they are, and you'll
learn that your relationships get better. And we all have
this need to control everything because it makes you feel safe,
but we control the wrong things. And when you really
just start to let people be who they are and
(09:26):
you let people live their lives, your life gets better.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Which seems so simple, but it's so impactful. It is
so if you engage in it.
Speaker 6 (09:34):
Yeah, that's why you're so popular because these are such
simple techniques.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
Simple math. At least life's complicated. And if it's complicated,
I can't remember it. And if I'm emotional and angry
or frustrated or sad, I can't remember it. But I
can remember let them, I can remember five four three
two one. And you know, my message is very simple.
You have way more power in your life than you
think if you start to focus on what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Now, did you slither in here today? This the slithering thing?
Speaker 7 (10:06):
Like?
Speaker 5 (10:07):
Yeah, so you know, honest to god, we sold our
house of twenty six years. We raised our kids in
Sherburn and sold our house. I my parents still live
in the house that I grew up in. So I
never had experienced moving. Yeah, packing up the place where
you spent twenty six years of your life. I had
(10:27):
a complete mental breakdown. And then, like so many people
when they become empty nesters or when you're going through
changing your life, you move and all of a sudden
you wake up in a new place and you're like,
I don't have any friends, and then you think, wait,
And so I found myself at the age of fifty two,
in a brand new place, having just closed a chapter. Basically,
(10:49):
you're grieving I again couldn't get out of bed, and
so my therapist said, well, stop trying to force yourself.
Go with the negativity and just if you can't stand
up out of bed, literally roll down onto the floor
and kind of move it out of your body. And
what you'll notice is as the dog is, they're licking
(11:10):
you on the face, and you know, you're like rolling around,
going has it really come to this?
Speaker 7 (11:14):
But I got to know is this hands first or
feet first?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Whatever you want, whatever you want, you can it's okay.
It depends how high your bed is. And so you
just kind of are on the floor and you're like,
what am I? And then you feel like standing up
and then it's through your body. And here's another huge
takeaway that I want to give everybody. We spend a
lot of time thinking about our problems, and the fact
(11:38):
is you're not going to solve most things from the
neck up. You solve most of the problems in your
life from the neck down, which means you move physically.
It means you take a deep breath and settle yourself
before you scream at somebody. It means that you close
your eyes and you pull yourself into the present moment
(12:01):
to settle yourself before you're going to say something in
a meeting. If you're scared to talk like we're up
in our heads, but really the power is to just
stop and drop into your body. And when you settle
your body, there's some really interesting things that happen.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
You know.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
One of the things that I also want to acknowledge
for most of us is that based on the research,
and we have a lot of the world's leading experts
on the Mel Robins podcast, which is so cool because
most of them are here in Boston and so they
just hop on the e bikes and come on. Over
eighty percent of us, based on being in quarantine, are
in a state of chronic stress right now, which means
(12:37):
you are. If you're feeling on edge, if the inner
critic is louder than ever, if you're having trouble focusing,
if you're procrastinating more than ever, the problem isn't you.
The problem is you're still operating in your body in
a state of stress.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
By the way, if you just tuned in, we're talking
to the incredible Mel Robins, I just want to be.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
Your best friend.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
You're an incredible We do need to tell people how
they can see you at the book.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Okay, so we're gonna do a live event together.
Speaker 7 (13:08):
We are.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
So you're going to do a book party. We're going
to do Q and A. You're going to leave there
like you're on a freaking rocket ship. I'm going to
be signing books. I've never done this, Like, I'm so excited.
This is my first live event.
Speaker 6 (13:19):
It's the biggest book club ever. It's the biggest book
club we've ever done. Just go to kiss oneaweight dot com.
Speaker 5 (13:24):
There is a.
Speaker 6 (13:25):
Link to purchase the book to let them theory that
gives you a ticket in you can go to my instagram,
Lisa Donovan went away. There's a link there.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Will you put it in the stories because we've got
to get it, like we're trying to like you, I'm
looking for a graphic designers.
Speaker 7 (13:39):
This book club is the first live event you've ever done.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Yeah, here in Boston.
Speaker 7 (13:43):
We need to get security.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
Yeah. And so here's here's what I've done. I mean,
I speak around the world, but it's at other people's event.
This is the first time. And here's what's really cool.
Your ticket has a book, right. This is a book
that we announced two months ago. It debuted at number
two on Amazon. And here's the thing about the let
Them theory. This is the single most viral thing I've
ever shared because people get it immediately. Everybody understands saying
(14:06):
let them, and you immediately feel relief, and you're gonna
start saying it all day long and start to see
how much power and time you get back. In fact,
one of the reasons why we realized we got to
write this book is within a week of sharing the
let them theory, just say let them when you start
to feel like you're losing control. We started getting tattoos
(14:26):
rolling in from around the world of people.
Speaker 9 (14:29):
And it's funny for that, I've seen it all of
our social media before theory. I had seen it before
I heard it was your theory. Yes, and I almost
getting the tattoo.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
Because it was like so deep, Now, why would you
get the tattoo? What was it about the saying let them?
What does it do for you when you say let them?
Speaker 9 (14:44):
Because I think, as you were saying earlier, it let
me release, having other people influence how I felt about
myself and that type of thing, And I was like,
that's amazing.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
I didn't know it was you that said it.
Speaker 7 (14:52):
I just think that's okay.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
The tattoos ideas are for the world. Yeah, Like, my
job is to find things and try to make them
simple so that you could tell your kids, simple so
that you could use it anywhere. But the thing I
want to tell you is make sure you then say
let me, because that's where you bring the power back,
Like and you take responsibility for your life and think
(15:14):
about the word responsibility. It's your ability to respond.
Speaker 7 (15:19):
Oh my god, this is first in the morning show tattoos.
Let them everyone's coming.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
Oh yeah, we're now. It's going to be absolutely incredible.
But get in on this because it's going to say
it sellout. It's gonna sell out, and I'm gonna let
you have twenty four hours because the second I announced
it to the twenty one million people that follow me, like,
we'll have anyole brying in for this. So I want
the hometown team there instead perfect no shade to anybody
that follows me outside of Boston. But I would love
(15:48):
to just have this be like our hometown crowd.
Speaker 7 (15:51):
All right, well, thank you, mel Robbins. We appreciate it,
and we'll see you in January.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
If you put aside twenty five cents every week for
a year. What could you get at the end A
few cups of coffee, maybe a candle, Or you could
get a year of the best reporting from all over
the world. Go to Washingtonpost dot com slash BF twenty
four right now. You'll get a Washington Post subscription for
twenty five cents a week for your first year. This
(16:17):
is a Black Friday sale, so it won't last long.
Washingtonpost dot com slash BF twenty four.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
It's beginning to sound a lot like the holidays. The
Roku Channel your home for free and premium TV is
giving you access to holiday music and genre base stations
from iHeart all for free. Find this soundtrack of the
season with channels like iHeart Christmas and North Pole Radio.
The Roku Channel is available on all Roku devices, Web, Amazon, fireTV,
(16:46):
Google TV, Samsung TVs, and the Roku Mobile app on
iOS and Android devices. So stream what you love and
turn up that year with iHeartRadio on the Roku Channel.
Happy streaming.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
After the movie Free Willie became a hit, word got
out that the star of the film, a killer whale
named Keiko, was sick and still living in a tiny
pool in a Mexican amusement park fans were outraged, kids
demanded his release. I'm Danielle Aragon. From Serial Productions. In
The New York Times comes The Goodwiale, a story about
the wildly ambitious science experiment to return Cako to the ocean.
(17:18):
Listen to new episodes on Thursdays. Want early access to
the whole show, subscribe to The Times at NYTimes dot com,
slash podcasts to listen on Apple podcasts and Spotify.
If you put aside twenty five cents every week for
a year, what could you get at the end A
few cups of coffee, maybe a candle, Or you could
get a year of the best reporting from all over
the world. Go to Washingtonpost dot com slash BF twenty
four right now. You'll get a Washington Post subscription for
twenty five cents a week for your first year. This
(00:22):
is a Black Friday sale, so it won't last long.
Washingtonpost dot com slash BF twenty four.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It's beginning to sound a lot like the holidays. The
Roku Channel your home for free and premium TV is
giving you access to holiday music and genre base stations
from iHeart all for free. Find this soundtrack of the
season with channels like iHeart Christmas and north Pole Radio.
The Roku channel is available on all Roku devices, Web, Amazon, fireTV,
(00:51):
Google TV, Samsung TVs, and the Roku Mobile app on
iOS and Android devices. So stream what you love and
siron up that year with iHeart Radio on the Roku Channel.
Happy Streaming.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
After the movie Free Willy became a hit, word got
out that the star of the film, a killer whale
named Keiko, was sick and still living in a tiny
pool in a Mexican amusement park. Fans were outraged, kids
demanded his release. I'm Danielle Dragon from Serial Productions in
The New York Times comes the good Will, a story
about the wildly ambitious science experiment to return Keiko to
the ocean. Listen to new episodes on Thursdays. Want early
(01:25):
access to the whole show, subscribed at The Times at
ny Times dot com. Slash podcasts to listen on Apple
Podcasts and Spotify if.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
You want to talk about viral best selling author Motivational Speaker,
one of the biggest podcasts in the world. Ah, and
just ridiculous. Mel Robbins, I can't believe you're sitting in
the studio.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Yes, Hi, I can't either, because I've spent years and
years of my life in my car listening to you.
So it's really cool to be here in person.
Speaker 6 (01:52):
I've never in my life seen more salespeople come up
and want their picture taken with anyone else, but Mel's here,
and you're taking over the world, and I'm so happy
you're here. Because we have a big announcement. You will
actually be coming to Lisa's book club in January because
you have a new book out.
Speaker 5 (02:12):
Yeah, so we're going to be doing a live event.
This is the first live event I've ever done in Boston,
that I've ever done period, and I'm really excited to
be partnering with you here in my hometown. We raised
our kids here for twenty six years, and our studios
for the podcast is in Seaport, and to be able
(02:34):
to kick off not only a book tour, but the
mission that I have to really help you understand how
important it is to let go of the things that
you can't control and to stop trying to control the
people in your life. Doing event is my checklist. Okay,
I don't know what's happening. It's like the vibes in
(02:54):
the room here of our outrageous and so I want
to teach you how to let go of what you
can't control, and that is basically the things happening around
you and what other people are doing, thinking, they're saying.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
So the book is called the Let Them Theory, yep,
and that's exactly what it is.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
Yeah. So the Let Them Theory is very simple everybody,
and you're gonna love it. You're going to get it immediately.
It's just two simple words. That's how it starts.
Speaker 7 (03:19):
Let them.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Anytime somebody's pissing you off, Can I say that on
radios on podcasts? Okay, anytime somebody's making you mad, or
you're frustrated, or you feel your emotions taking over, just
say let them. You know, traffic is backing up on
the masspect let them. They're doing construction and the tunnel,
let them. Your boss is in a bad mood, let them.
(03:40):
Your kids don't want to do something with you that,
let them. Because what you're going to start to realize
is you allow other people and things beyond your control
to stress you out, to make you anxious, and what
happens is it robs you of all your time and energy.
And your time and energy is the most precious resource
that you have in life, because where you put your
(04:01):
time and energy is what you experience in your life.
And what I'm going to prove to you both in
this book and in this incredible event, you better get
your tickets. This sucker is going to sell out. We
are already getting hammered about how do we get what
you're going to tell everybody? And we're going to be
doing live Q and A. You're going to feel so
motivated afterwards because you're not only going to understand that
(04:21):
you have been unknowingly giving your power to other people.
You navigate your life by what they say, how they feel,
and you don't have to live like that. There's a
better way. And every time you say let them, you
recognize that this is something that you don't have to control.
And then part two of the theories, you go, let me,
(04:42):
let me focus on what I'm going to say, what
I'm going to think, and what I'm going to do,
because that's where your power.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
And I think we've all been through that.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
We do, and it instantly calms you down.
Speaker 6 (04:51):
You like, let them treat me this way because I
can decide whether I want to be with them or not.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Yes. Yes, So a lot of times in relationships, for examples,
I've got two, I've got twenty five, twenty three to
nineteen year old kids, and when I look at somebody
who's dating right now, and there's a real, you know,
fear about being the single friend or the fear about this,
and so we accept lesson we deserve. And here's what
you need to know. People's behavior is the truth. So
(05:17):
how somebody treats you is how they feel about you.
Do not listen to somebody's words, watch what they do.
And if somebody is treating you in a way that
is not what you deserve, let them because they're revealing
who they are. And here's the thing. Most of us
then grip and we make excuses, and you know, we
start to get desperate and clingy, or we tiptoe around
(05:39):
like the way that somebody's feeling. No, just let them
be and then say, let me decide what I'm going
to do about this. Are these table scraps what I'm
going to accept in my life?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
No.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
And it's amazing because the messages you send are received
in such a warm way. Since we mentioned you were
coming in. Uh huh, I mean we have been inundated
with talk packs and with phone calls justin you want
to give one to us right now.
Speaker 8 (06:05):
I'm so excited. I just got my ticket to Lisa's
book Club to see Mel Robbins, and I just can't
believe it. Mel Robbins has completely changed my life. Her
book The Five Second Rule, her instagram, her podcast. I
just love her so much. She's so inspirational and I
cannot wait to read her new book. I'm like a
(06:27):
little kid on Christmas morning.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
So when does the book actually come out? The book
comes out December twenty fourth, So I'm a last minute chopper.
So for all of us that are going to be
out there on December twenty fourth, you know, your sister
who's annoying doesn't need a sweater, She needs to learn
how to take care.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
This is amazing. When do you come up with these thoughts?
And how you know the five second rule and the
slithering and all time?
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Guys, I'll tell you how I have learned everything that
I talk about the hard way by screwing up my
own life. Like I learned the five second rule, which
is basically this thing that sounds so dumb. You count
backwards like NASA launches a rocket five four three two one,
and then move because I couldn't get myself out of bed.
I mean fifteen years ago, when my husband was in
(07:13):
the restaurant business in the Boston area, I lost my job.
It was two thousand and eight. We all had pretty
lousy year two thousand and seven. Two thousand and eight, Yeah,
the leans hit the house. We found ourselves almost a
million dollars in debt. I was unemployed, our kids three
kids ages ten and under, and you know there are
going to be times in your life where you don't
know if you have what it takes to face the
(07:36):
things that are going on. And in that time in
my life, the simplest things from opening up my bills
which I couldn't pay, to telling my friends the truth
about what was going on, to just getting out of bed.
I mean, we all know laying in bed and staring
at the ceiling and ruminating about your problems and then
looking at your phone. It's not helping, but we can't
(07:59):
seem to make ourselves do it. And so it kind
of was one of these moments where I hit my
own rock bottom. Am I gonna lose everything that I
care about? Because I was facing these problems, you know,
like a champ. I was drinking myself into the ground.
I was blaming everything on Chris, and I was just
letting the anxiety consume me. And I just had this thought,
maybe if I moved fast enough, maybe if I launched
(08:21):
myself like a rocket, I'd actually move faster than the
anxiety that was hitting And it worked. And so I
just started sharing things that were working for me. And
here's what I found. Every single one of us knows
the little things that we could do to be kinder
to ourselves, to take better care of ourselves, we don't
do it. And when you start to find little tools,
(08:44):
whether it's saying let them, just let them, like, we
know we don't want other people to stress us out.
We know that we'd rather feel a little bit more
peaceful and powerful in our lives. I know that I
don't want to nitpick at my husband like. This has
been life saving for my marriage, for my relationship with
my kids. Because who pisses you off the most the
people you love, Like I think family is in your
(09:04):
life to teach you how to love people you don't
like right and let them. They're not changing, so why
create frustration. Let them be who they are, and you'll
learn that your relationships get better. And we all have
this need to control everything because it makes you feel safe,
but we control the wrong things. And when you really
just start to let people be who they are and
(09:26):
you let people live their lives, your life gets better.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Which seems so simple, but it's so impactful. It is
so if you engage in it.
Speaker 6 (09:34):
Yeah, that's why you're so popular because these are such
simple techniques.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
Simple math. At least life's complicated. And if it's complicated,
I can't remember it. And if I'm emotional and angry
or frustrated or sad, I can't remember it. But I
can remember let them, I can remember five four three
two one. And you know, my message is very simple.
You have way more power in your life than you
think if you start to focus on what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Now, did you slither in here today? This the slithering thing?
Speaker 7 (10:06):
Like?
Speaker 5 (10:07):
Yeah, so you know, honest to god, we sold our
house of twenty six years. We raised our kids in
Sherburn and sold our house. I my parents still live
in the house that I grew up in. So I
never had experienced moving. Yeah, packing up the place where
you spent twenty six years of your life. I had
(10:27):
a complete mental breakdown. And then, like so many people
when they become empty nesters or when you're going through
changing your life, you move and all of a sudden
you wake up in a new place and you're like,
I don't have any friends, and then you think, wait,
And so I found myself at the age of fifty two,
in a brand new place, having just closed a chapter. Basically,
(10:49):
you're grieving I again couldn't get out of bed, and
so my therapist said, well, stop trying to force yourself.
Go with the negativity and just if you can't stand
up out of bed, literally roll down onto the floor
and kind of move it out of your body. And
what you'll notice is as the dog is, they're licking
(11:10):
you on the face, and you know, you're like rolling around,
going has it really come to this?
Speaker 7 (11:14):
But I got to know is this hands first or
feet first?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Whatever you want, whatever you want, you can it's okay.
It depends how high your bed is. And so you
just kind of are on the floor and you're like,
what am I? And then you feel like standing up
and then it's through your body. And here's another huge
takeaway that I want to give everybody. We spend a
lot of time thinking about our problems, and the fact
(11:38):
is you're not going to solve most things from the
neck up. You solve most of the problems in your
life from the neck down, which means you move physically.
It means you take a deep breath and settle yourself
before you scream at somebody. It means that you close
your eyes and you pull yourself into the present moment
(12:01):
to settle yourself before you're going to say something in
a meeting. If you're scared to talk like we're up
in our heads, but really the power is to just
stop and drop into your body. And when you settle
your body, there's some really interesting things that happen.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
You know.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
One of the things that I also want to acknowledge
for most of us is that based on the research,
and we have a lot of the world's leading experts
on the Mel Robins podcast, which is so cool because
most of them are here in Boston and so they
just hop on the e bikes and come on. Over
eighty percent of us, based on being in quarantine, are
in a state of chronic stress right now, which means
(12:37):
you are. If you're feeling on edge, if the inner
critic is louder than ever, if you're having trouble focusing,
if you're procrastinating more than ever, the problem isn't you.
The problem is you're still operating in your body in
a state of stress.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
By the way, if you just tuned in, we're talking
to the incredible Mel Robins, I just want to be.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
Your best friend.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
You're an incredible We do need to tell people how
they can see you at the book.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Okay, so we're gonna do a live event together.
Speaker 7 (13:08):
We are.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
So you're going to do a book party. We're going
to do Q and A. You're going to leave there
like you're on a freaking rocket ship. I'm going to
be signing books. I've never done this, Like, I'm so excited.
This is my first live event.
Speaker 6 (13:19):
It's the biggest book club ever. It's the biggest book
club we've ever done. Just go to kiss oneaweight dot com.
Speaker 5 (13:24):
There is a.
Speaker 6 (13:25):
Link to purchase the book to let them theory that
gives you a ticket in you can go to my instagram,
Lisa Donovan went away. There's a link there.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Will you put it in the stories because we've got
to get it, like we're trying to like you, I'm
looking for a graphic designers.
Speaker 7 (13:39):
This book club is the first live event you've ever done.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Yeah, here in Boston.
Speaker 7 (13:43):
We need to get security.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
Yeah. And so here's here's what I've done. I mean,
I speak around the world, but it's at other people's event.
This is the first time. And here's what's really cool.
Your ticket has a book, right. This is a book
that we announced two months ago. It debuted at number
two on Amazon. And here's the thing about the let
Them theory. This is the single most viral thing I've
ever shared because people get it immediately. Everybody understands saying
(14:06):
let them, and you immediately feel relief, and you're gonna
start saying it all day long and start to see
how much power and time you get back. In fact,
one of the reasons why we realized we got to
write this book is within a week of sharing the
let them theory, just say let them when you start
to feel like you're losing control. We started getting tattoos
(14:26):
rolling in from around the world of people.
Speaker 9 (14:29):
And it's funny for that, I've seen it all of
our social media before theory. I had seen it before
I heard it was your theory. Yes, and I almost
getting the tattoo.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
Because it was like so deep, Now, why would you
get the tattoo? What was it about the saying let them?
What does it do for you when you say let them?
Speaker 9 (14:44):
Because I think, as you were saying earlier, it let
me release, having other people influence how I felt about
myself and that type of thing, And I was like,
that's amazing.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
I didn't know it was you that said it.
Speaker 7 (14:52):
I just think that's okay.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
The tattoos ideas are for the world. Yeah, Like, my
job is to find things and try to make them
simple so that you could tell your kids, simple so
that you could use it anywhere. But the thing I
want to tell you is make sure you then say
let me, because that's where you bring the power back,
Like and you take responsibility for your life and think
(15:14):
about the word responsibility. It's your ability to respond.
Speaker 7 (15:19):
Oh my god, this is first in the morning show tattoos.
Let them everyone's coming.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
Oh yeah, we're now. It's going to be absolutely incredible.
But get in on this because it's going to say
it sellout. It's gonna sell out, and I'm gonna let
you have twenty four hours because the second I announced
it to the twenty one million people that follow me, like,
we'll have anyole brying in for this. So I want
the hometown team there instead perfect no shade to anybody
that follows me outside of Boston. But I would love
(15:48):
to just have this be like our hometown crowd.
Speaker 7 (15:51):
All right, well, thank you, mel Robbins. We appreciate it,
and we'll see you in January.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
If you put aside twenty five cents every week for
a year. What could you get at the end A
few cups of coffee, maybe a candle, Or you could
get a year of the best reporting from all over
the world. Go to Washingtonpost dot com slash BF twenty
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twenty five cents a week for your first year. This
(16:17):
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Washingtonpost dot com slash BF twenty four.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
It's beginning to sound a lot like the holidays. The
Roku Channel your home for free and premium TV is
giving you access to holiday music and genre base stations
from iHeart all for free. Find this soundtrack of the
season with channels like iHeart Christmas and North Pole Radio.
The Roku Channel is available on all Roku devices, Web, Amazon, fireTV,
(16:46):
Google TV, Samsung TVs, and the Roku Mobile app on
iOS and Android devices. So stream what you love and
turn up that year with iHeartRadio on the Roku Channel.
Happy streaming.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
After the movie Free Willie became a hit, word got
out that the star of the film, a killer whale
named Keiko, was sick and still living in a tiny
pool in a Mexican amusement park fans were outraged, kids
demanded his release. I'm Danielle Aragon. From Serial Productions. In
The New York Times comes The Goodwiale, a story about
the wildly ambitious science experiment to return Cako to the ocean.
(17:18):
Listen to new episodes on Thursdays. Want early access to
the whole show, subscribe to The Times at NYTimes dot com,
slash podcasts to listen on Apple podcasts and Spotify.
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