Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, it is Mojo in the morning. We this
is okay. I don't know if if it's a serious one,
and it obviously seems serious. keV thinks that one of
his family members is doing like, like hard drugs. keV,
I mean, yeah, I'm surprised we doing this right after that.
(00:20):
Well it was scheduled next Honestly.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I feel like we should have thought about that.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Sorry, well it's called a segueeg. Yeah, really this is
a serious situation. And through therapy, I realized that whenever
I'm faced with serious stuff, I'll like make a joke
about it or I like try to find a funny
way to spin it.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
That, uh, I think we all do that. That eases
me in some type of some type of way. But
a family member and I will I will try to
say they So I'm not like on either side because
I don't you know, I don't want it to get
around back to that person. But I think that person
is back using hardcore drugs. And this person has had
(01:06):
their battle with substance abuse a long time ago and
has communicated that they're done with that portion of their life,
but they have been showcasing what I call crackhead behavior
more recently, and a few of the things is like
the speed in which they talk, the weight that they have,
(01:27):
and even though they're a very active person, you can tell,
like what type of skinny you kind of look like.
And the other day they called me and it was like,
let me get twenty dollars, and it.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Was actually twenty dollars. I give it back to you.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
On Wednesday, it was talking on families, and in my mind,
I'm like, twenty dollars, Like what the hell can you
do with twenty dollars for real? Like and if it's
like you on your last dollar and you need some
gas and you need some food, like I feel like
that's what you would tell me, but just to say,
let me get twenty dollars, I ey, twenty dollars, I'll
give it back to your Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Didn't get my twenty back by the way, but it's
all good. That's what I expected in my mind.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
I'm like, for one, I definitely need to approach this
person and have like a real conversation because I do
feel like we have that type of relationship. But also
this will be the first type of conversation that I've
had with anybody, let alone somebody you know, like in
my family, and have y'all ever dealt with, you know,
somebody with substance abuse issues or you have, yes, how did.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
You know or and then how did you react to
them or did you address it?
Speaker 4 (02:30):
I don't know if I addressed it the proper way,
is what I'll say. But this person had been to
like rehab facilities, like it was a known problem. And
so when you just exhibit those kind of sneaky behaviors
coming back up again and you go, oh no, And
I'm not sure if I did handle it right or not,
(02:51):
because I have a fear of if you just cut
everything off from confront right away, that person might not
come back to you again.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
And then how can I help in the future if
you don't come to me.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
But you also don't want to be an enabler, So
it's like a weird juggling process.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I've never dealt with drugs being their issue. I've dealt
with alcohol before, and so alcohol, I don't know if
it's any different, but alcohol, it was trying to make
them understand that they are abusing it and they need
to have help, and that I would be their person
that would you know, not judge them, but try to
(03:29):
get them help. Did you invite them out to lunch?
Did you do it in a car? Like? How did
you set the scene to have that conversation. I did
it with a former radio friend of ours that you
know I worked with, and it was me and two
other guys and we did it, I'm honestly over the
course of months of every night we would talk to
this person for at least an hour a night just
(03:49):
to see how they were doing because they were lonely
by themselves. And then finally we just said, hey, we
want to get your help. And then we finally confronted
them with it, and they knew what was going on.
They knew what you know, he knew what we were doing.
But I don't know. I think it's it's one of
those ones. I think sometimes if you let them know
what you're planning on doing right away, they'll shut you off.
(04:13):
But if you, over time just show them that you're
a safe place.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I also think that it's smart too to have a
community that's in that task with you that. I think
that that's a lot to have just on you.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yep, you know, And I think that sometimes you have
to have somebody that's been through it, that that knows
what to do and what not to do, and what
to say, what not to say.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
We can force a fix on somebody, but you have
to be there for when they want.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
To be fixed.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
A four four Mojoe live a four four six six
five six for it. And again, this is somebody that
you're very very close to as a family member, that
you're family member. Uh Sean, what's happening? How you doing?
Sad to Cavin?
Speaker 6 (04:58):
What Sean?
Speaker 7 (05:01):
How you doing? Every I'm good man, So check this out.
A long time ago, man, my mama was, you know,
on drugs, and you know what I'm saying. She was
doing uh crack, you know what I mean. And you
know I grew up. I grew up real hard from
(05:22):
that because you know, she she wasn't really there to
guide me and my brothers were you know, they stayed
locked well one of them stay locked up and the
other one he just was odd for himself. So you know,
that's the reason why I'm the person I am today.
But at the same time, so me and my brothers.
One time, well I came to my brother, my middle brother,
and I was talking to him about you know, we
(05:45):
need to talk to mom. Man, you know what I'm saying,
because she's ain't she ain't on track, you know what
I mean. We had the well, this was the first
time me and him had ever approached her like that.
And now you know, I can relate to that kid
because that was the first time I had to have
a talk like that with anybody, and it had to
be my mom. You know what I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Saying, Well, has got to be really tough one because
usually it's the opposite, right, your mom's parenting you not
you're having to try to parent your mom exactly.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
So you know, me and my brother sat her down
and we got to talking to her about it, and
you know, we had a moment. You know, she she
had a breakdown. She broke down crying, and you know,
she was letting us know that, yeah, she was gonna
get off of it and things like that. So later on,
about I can say about two or three months later,
they had a hymn. My brother and my mom had
(06:36):
a real bad accident and my mom died, but they
brought her back. And yeah, man, they brought her back.
She died in the car accident, but they resusitated her
and brought her back, but she had her whole face
crushed in the accident. She lost sight in one eye,
she lost her sense of smell. And I really think
(06:59):
that that was an active guy to get her off
of that, because after that happened, she got off of it. Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Wow, that's amazing any man, and mom is still with
us today.
Speaker 7 (07:11):
Yeah, it's been like ten years.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
That's incredible, buddy, that's an unbelievable story. So your your
advice to Kevin is love on them and possibly what
finding somebody else to help him in the family, to
help him with us.
Speaker 7 (07:26):
This is this is my advice to you. Care If
you feel compelled to talk to that person, you go
do it because probably ain't nobody else doing it. And
once you say something to somebody, it's it's gonna stick.
They might not, it might not look like it's gonna stick,
but it's gonna stick. And it's up to them. You
did your part. It's up to them to take your advice.
(07:48):
But you did your part. So I mean it's I
mean it's up to that person genuinely to get themselves
back together. I mean, all you can do is help and.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Tell that's great, that's a great point, and they're gonna
fail there. Unfortunately, all of the people that I have known,
and again this is with alcohol, not drugs, they have
failed five, six, seven times before something finally got them
to really be done. So I love I love his
(08:19):
point of view. Did what you were supposed to do?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know, Sean? Thank you for sharing that, man, I
really appreciate that.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
It's all good, man. I love all y'all.
Speaker 8 (08:28):
Man.
Speaker 7 (08:28):
You know, I look see y'all every day. Y'all some
real people, man, And you know what I mean. I
try to live my life right, and that's what I mean.
You know, I've been there, man, I've been through a lot.
You know, I got two children in heaven. I got
four grandchiod.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Buddy, you got four grandchildren and two that passed. How
old are you?
Speaker 7 (08:50):
No? Two of my children are past I'm forty one.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
You're forty. Two of your children have passed and you've
got grandchildren. Yes, okay, man, I'm sorry, it's awful.
Speaker 7 (09:01):
I don't be sorry for that. I'm blessed to have
my gradude.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I know. But no, I'm saying, but I didn't realize
you had children past forty one years old. You lived
a life? Holy cow?
Speaker 7 (09:12):
Yes, I have bro.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Thank you, buddy.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
It's because of that test you can testify you're helping people.
I appreciate you. Sean, thanks for the call, buddy.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
What's going on?
Speaker 7 (09:19):
Sarah Hie?
Speaker 8 (09:21):
So, I am actually a recovering at it. To myself,
I've been six years clean.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Good job.
Speaker 8 (09:30):
I just want to talk that like from a personal experience,
if you're close enough to him, like definitely, like you
can definitely be the one to talk to him. But
you've got to let him know that you're not trying
to rush him because they will run, like just I
know for me, like when people were trying to force
me and I wasn't ready, I just ran from him.
(09:53):
So just let him know that when he is ready,
if that is what's going on, that you're there and
you're there to help him when he hands ready. That's
really all you can do. Unfortunately, and like Shannon said,
sometimes they will fail the first few times or more.
It took me at least five times in rehab until
I finally got it and you got to hit rock bottom, unfortunately,
(10:16):
and you got to let him hit that because if
you do give him twenty dollars every time, yes, and
it's never right, He's never going to hit that rock
bottom because that's what happened to me. Everybody kept giving
it to me when I kept asking, making up excuses
and I needed groceries, I need this, I need that.
I ran out of gas until they started telling me
no and I lost everybody. That's when it kind of
(10:36):
hit me and I got clean.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
So good for you, Sarah, Thank you for the call. Yep, Wow,
these are kind of lydia. Great job getting these people
on the phone. Thank you to our listeners for calling
and Sharon, what's up, Amanda?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Bye, Good morning, Good morning.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
For those just tuning in right now, keV has a
family member that he's worried is an addict and wondering
what to do.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Well, I just heard Sarah talking about how they need
to wait and kind of ease into it because I'm
also in recovery. I have been clean for three and
a half years, and it took me a long time.
(11:28):
Like she said, I don't know if five six, seven, eight,
nine times going into rehab. And like she said too,
if you're getting them money, you're just enabling and enabling
is it's just going to keep them going and going
and going and rock bottom is where you gotta what
you gotta hit, you really gotta hit rock bottom.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Question for you, when you hit rock bottom, does it
affect your relationship with them when you finally come out
of therapy? Like, do you look at that?
Speaker 9 (11:59):
Absolutely?
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know, how does it affect your relationship with the
family members that let you hit rock bottom?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
So honestly, it it takes a really really long time
to get anyone's trust back, so that there is a
time where I'm actually struggling, like financially or just coming
over to hang out. It's like hide your purses, hide
your everything, just because they're scared that you you know,
(12:29):
might feel. I never was a you know, I never
was a thief, thank the Lord, and I never really
had to. I worked for my money and I did
ask for money a few times, you know with my family,
but they it's been a long long time to get
their trust back for sure.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Man. So you right now are this is your your
battle that you have and you're doing well?
Speaker 8 (12:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (12:56):
Absolutely, it is a battle every single day. But I
I have a daughter and so that is my you know,
she's my life. So I have to be here as
a mother to take care of her. And if I'm
not taking care of myself, I cannot take care of her.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
So yeah, I've I heard one time somebody say, and
this was a person that was helping us with my
friend that had alcohol was was an alcoholic, and they said,
they can't do it for their for their kids. They
got to do it for themselves.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
And your number one priority, I put myself first before anybody.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Well, thank you for the call. I appreciate it absolutely.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
You guys have a good day.
Speaker 9 (13:40):
keV.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
When you hear this, what rings to you As far
as some of the advice that we've gotten from these
last three callers.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Well, the first thing I saw, Mama right now is
like you say, you got to care about yourself before
you care about anybody. I feel like that's the same
mentality that gets you into this situation, Like that's why
you're doing it, because you only care about yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So it's kind of like this weird juxtaposition.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
We're on the left side, it's like, yes, the only
thing that can get me through is worrying about myself.
But on the right side, it's like that's the same
mindset that you're thinking of when you're doing the things
that you know is not only hurting yourself, hurting everybody else.
But obviously for one, it's amazing the type of listeners
that we have, and you never know what someone is
(14:23):
going through. And thank you and blessing to everybody that's
in recovery, and blessings and love to everybody that has
somebody that's going through recovery, and definitely need to have
the conversation, but need to do it with love and
grace and let that person know that I'm not there
to judge them, I'm there for understanding and to help
heal if there's an issue.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Dammy, what do you want to say to cav.
Speaker 8 (14:46):
Oh Hi?
Speaker 6 (14:47):
I was just saying, I have a family member who's
currently like has we going on and off for years
with drug scene, And all you can really.
Speaker 10 (14:56):
Do is just have an honest conversation with them, but
don't give them anything and let them know that you
know you're not there to judge them, but you're there
to support them, and unless they're ready to talk to
you or to like get help, just let them know
that you're in their corner.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
And that's all you really can do until like they're
ready to like make those moves.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Thank you for the call what do you think, Valerie, Hi,
you wanted to say something, Hi, I just.
Speaker 9 (15:26):
Wanted to say. My daughter is twenty three. Now she
will be clean one year of July nineteenth from Yes. Absolutely,
she was in a car accident, didn't like drinking, didn't
like marijuana, tried it once and her brother had to
nurse her through the anxiety of that the one time
she tried it, and the minute they gave her the
(15:48):
oxy it flipped the switch. And addiction is so genetically
it's huge and as a family of trying to get
her through it, and it's like a It's like I
told her, you know, I have to had to let
her know that we mean. I especially I forgive her
(16:08):
for what the things that she did because I was like,
addiction brain, I'm sorry, addiction brain. When she was in
next it's like air, It's like air, then wanting that
next hit and it's you know, she's inn She did
intends of outpatient and then she had a year long
program and we constantly talk about it to make sure
it's still in the forefront. And it was just Yes,
(16:30):
there was a car accident, had three spinal surgeries. I mean,
and how do you tell your kids they're in pain,
and no, they can't have anything else they have to deal.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
You know, it's amazing. As you you give birth to
your child, you never expect when you're holding them that
this is going to be something that you're you're dealing with.
But it sounds to me like you as a mom are.
Speaker 9 (16:48):
Day one when they gave her that prescription for that medication.
I tried to control it because I knew my kid,
I knew the addiction on both sides of the family
was so strong. Trying to control her from the beginning, Yeah,
and it's just it just gets away from you and
you just you don't have to eat, you don't you
see it, but you don't see it, and you try to.
In my attempt to try to control it, I was
(17:11):
actually enabling her well, you know, and it was But now,
like I said, so on the nineteenth, she'll be a
year clean.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
I couldn't be proud of that's amazing.
Speaker 9 (17:21):
And we celebrated from row a jelly roll. What a
perfect I said, one year cleaning, and he was just amazing.
And I couldn't be prouder of the young woman. She
starts a new job in January and it was just.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Let her know that we're proud of her too.
Speaker 9 (17:39):
I texted her, good now, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
We're proud of you. I don't want to I don't
want to give her her name out, but you know
who this is. You know this is your mom, and
you have to give a tough love.
Speaker 9 (17:51):
Man. You do tough love, but a lot of love
with the same amount of toughness, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Good job, mom, Thank you, thank you.
All right, it is Mojo in the morning. We this
is okay. I don't know if if it's a serious one,
and it obviously seems serious. keV thinks that one of
his family members is doing like, like hard drugs. keV,
I mean, yeah, I'm surprised we doing this right after that.
(00:20):
Well it was scheduled next Honestly.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I feel like we should have thought about that.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Sorry, well it's called a segueeg. Yeah, really this is
a serious situation. And through therapy, I realized that whenever
I'm faced with serious stuff, I'll like make a joke
about it or I like try to find a funny
way to spin it.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
That, uh, I think we all do that. That eases
me in some type of some type of way. But
a family member and I will I will try to
say they So I'm not like on either side because
I don't you know, I don't want it to get
around back to that person. But I think that person
is back using hardcore drugs. And this person has had
(01:06):
their battle with substance abuse a long time ago and
has communicated that they're done with that portion of their life,
but they have been showcasing what I call crackhead behavior
more recently, and a few of the things is like
the speed in which they talk, the weight that they have,
(01:27):
and even though they're a very active person, you can tell,
like what type of skinny you kind of look like.
And the other day they called me and it was like,
let me get twenty dollars, and it.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Was actually twenty dollars. I give it back to you.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
On Wednesday, it was talking on families, and in my mind,
I'm like, twenty dollars, Like what the hell can you
do with twenty dollars for real? Like and if it's
like you on your last dollar and you need some
gas and you need some food, like I feel like
that's what you would tell me, but just to say,
let me get twenty dollars, I ey, twenty dollars, I'll
give it back to your Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Didn't get my twenty back by the way, but it's
all good. That's what I expected in my mind.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
I'm like, for one, I definitely need to approach this
person and have like a real conversation because I do
feel like we have that type of relationship. But also
this will be the first type of conversation that I've
had with anybody, let alone somebody you know, like in
my family, and have y'all ever dealt with, you know,
somebody with substance abuse issues or you have, yes, how did.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
You know or and then how did you react to
them or did you address it?
Speaker 4 (02:30):
I don't know if I addressed it the proper way,
is what I'll say. But this person had been to
like rehab facilities, like it was a known problem. And
so when you just exhibit those kind of sneaky behaviors
coming back up again and you go, oh no, And
I'm not sure if I did handle it right or not,
(02:51):
because I have a fear of if you just cut
everything off from confront right away, that person might not
come back to you again.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
And then how can I help in the future if
you don't come to me.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
But you also don't want to be an enabler, So
it's like a weird juggling process.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I've never dealt with drugs being their issue. I've dealt
with alcohol before, and so alcohol, I don't know if
it's any different, but alcohol, it was trying to make
them understand that they are abusing it and they need
to have help, and that I would be their person
that would you know, not judge them, but try to
(03:29):
get them help. Did you invite them out to lunch?
Did you do it in a car? Like? How did
you set the scene to have that conversation. I did
it with a former radio friend of ours that you
know I worked with, and it was me and two
other guys and we did it, I'm honestly over the
course of months of every night we would talk to
this person for at least an hour a night just
(03:49):
to see how they were doing because they were lonely
by themselves. And then finally we just said, hey, we
want to get your help. And then we finally confronted
them with it, and they knew what was going on.
They knew what you know, he knew what we were doing.
But I don't know. I think it's it's one of
those ones. I think sometimes if you let them know
what you're planning on doing right away, they'll shut you off.
(04:13):
But if you, over time just show them that you're
a safe place.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I also think that it's smart too to have a
community that's in that task with you that. I think
that that's a lot to have just on you.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yep, you know, And I think that sometimes you have
to have somebody that's been through it, that that knows
what to do and what not to do, and what
to say, what not to say.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
We can force a fix on somebody, but you have
to be there for when they want.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
To be fixed.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
A four four Mojoe live a four four six six
five six for it. And again, this is somebody that
you're very very close to as a family member, that
you're family member. Uh Sean, what's happening? How you doing?
Sad to Cavin?
Speaker 6 (04:58):
What Sean?
Speaker 7 (05:01):
How you doing? Every I'm good man, So check this out.
A long time ago, man, my mama was, you know,
on drugs, and you know what I'm saying. She was
doing uh crack, you know what I mean. And you
know I grew up. I grew up real hard from
(05:22):
that because you know, she she wasn't really there to
guide me and my brothers were you know, they stayed
locked well one of them stay locked up and the
other one he just was odd for himself. So you know,
that's the reason why I'm the person I am today.
But at the same time, so me and my brothers.
One time, well I came to my brother, my middle brother,
and I was talking to him about you know, we
(05:45):
need to talk to mom. Man, you know what I'm saying,
because she's ain't she ain't on track, you know what
I mean. We had the well, this was the first
time me and him had ever approached her like that.
And now you know, I can relate to that kid
because that was the first time I had to have
a talk like that with anybody, and it had to
be my mom. You know what I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Saying, Well, has got to be really tough one because
usually it's the opposite, right, your mom's parenting you not
you're having to try to parent your mom exactly.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
So you know, me and my brother sat her down
and we got to talking to her about it, and
you know, we had a moment. You know, she she
had a breakdown. She broke down crying, and you know,
she was letting us know that, yeah, she was gonna
get off of it and things like that. So later on,
about I can say about two or three months later,
they had a hymn. My brother and my mom had
(06:36):
a real bad accident and my mom died, but they
brought her back. And yeah, man, they brought her back.
She died in the car accident, but they resusitated her
and brought her back, but she had her whole face
crushed in the accident. She lost sight in one eye,
she lost her sense of smell. And I really think
(06:59):
that that was an active guy to get her off
of that, because after that happened, she got off of it. Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Wow, that's amazing any man, and mom is still with
us today.
Speaker 7 (07:11):
Yeah, it's been like ten years.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
That's incredible, buddy, that's an unbelievable story. So your your
advice to Kevin is love on them and possibly what
finding somebody else to help him in the family, to
help him with us.
Speaker 7 (07:26):
This is this is my advice to you. Care If
you feel compelled to talk to that person, you go
do it because probably ain't nobody else doing it. And
once you say something to somebody, it's it's gonna stick.
They might not, it might not look like it's gonna stick,
but it's gonna stick. And it's up to them. You
did your part. It's up to them to take your advice.
(07:48):
But you did your part. So I mean it's I
mean it's up to that person genuinely to get themselves
back together. I mean, all you can do is help and.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Tell that's great, that's a great point, and they're gonna
fail there. Unfortunately, all of the people that I have known,
and again this is with alcohol, not drugs, they have
failed five, six, seven times before something finally got them
to really be done. So I love I love his
(08:19):
point of view. Did what you were supposed to do?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know, Sean? Thank you for sharing that, man, I
really appreciate that.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
It's all good, man. I love all y'all.
Speaker 8 (08:28):
Man.
Speaker 7 (08:28):
You know, I look see y'all every day. Y'all some
real people, man, And you know what I mean. I
try to live my life right, and that's what I mean.
You know, I've been there, man, I've been through a lot.
You know, I got two children in heaven. I got
four grandchiod.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Buddy, you got four grandchildren and two that passed. How
old are you?
Speaker 7 (08:50):
No? Two of my children are past I'm forty one.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
You're forty. Two of your children have passed and you've
got grandchildren. Yes, okay, man, I'm sorry, it's awful.
Speaker 7 (09:01):
I don't be sorry for that. I'm blessed to have
my gradude.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I know. But no, I'm saying, but I didn't realize
you had children past forty one years old. You lived
a life? Holy cow?
Speaker 7 (09:12):
Yes, I have bro.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Thank you, buddy.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
It's because of that test you can testify you're helping people.
I appreciate you. Sean, thanks for the call, buddy.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
What's going on?
Speaker 7 (09:19):
Sarah Hie?
Speaker 8 (09:21):
So, I am actually a recovering at it. To myself,
I've been six years clean.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Good job.
Speaker 8 (09:30):
I just want to talk that like from a personal experience,
if you're close enough to him, like definitely, like you
can definitely be the one to talk to him. But
you've got to let him know that you're not trying
to rush him because they will run, like just I
know for me, like when people were trying to force
me and I wasn't ready, I just ran from him.
(09:53):
So just let him know that when he is ready,
if that is what's going on, that you're there and
you're there to help him when he hands ready. That's
really all you can do. Unfortunately, and like Shannon said,
sometimes they will fail the first few times or more.
It took me at least five times in rehab until
I finally got it and you got to hit rock bottom, unfortunately,
(10:16):
and you got to let him hit that because if
you do give him twenty dollars every time, yes, and
it's never right, He's never going to hit that rock
bottom because that's what happened to me. Everybody kept giving
it to me when I kept asking, making up excuses
and I needed groceries, I need this, I need that.
I ran out of gas until they started telling me
no and I lost everybody. That's when it kind of
(10:36):
hit me and I got clean.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
So good for you, Sarah, Thank you for the call. Yep, Wow,
these are kind of lydia. Great job getting these people
on the phone. Thank you to our listeners for calling
and Sharon, what's up, Amanda?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Bye, Good morning, Good morning.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
For those just tuning in right now, keV has a
family member that he's worried is an addict and wondering
what to do.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Well, I just heard Sarah talking about how they need
to wait and kind of ease into it because I'm
also in recovery. I have been clean for three and
a half years, and it took me a long time.
(11:28):
Like she said, I don't know if five six, seven, eight,
nine times going into rehab. And like she said too,
if you're getting them money, you're just enabling and enabling
is it's just going to keep them going and going
and going and rock bottom is where you gotta what
you gotta hit, you really gotta hit rock bottom.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Question for you, when you hit rock bottom, does it
affect your relationship with them when you finally come out
of therapy? Like, do you look at that?
Speaker 9 (11:59):
Absolutely?
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know, how does it affect your relationship with the
family members that let you hit rock bottom?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
So honestly, it it takes a really really long time
to get anyone's trust back, so that there is a
time where I'm actually struggling, like financially or just coming
over to hang out. It's like hide your purses, hide
your everything, just because they're scared that you you know,
(12:29):
might feel. I never was a you know, I never
was a thief, thank the Lord, and I never really
had to. I worked for my money and I did
ask for money a few times, you know with my family,
but they it's been a long long time to get
their trust back for sure.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Man. So you right now are this is your your
battle that you have and you're doing well?
Speaker 8 (12:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (12:56):
Absolutely, it is a battle every single day. But I
I have a daughter and so that is my you know,
she's my life. So I have to be here as
a mother to take care of her. And if I'm
not taking care of myself, I cannot take care of her.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
So yeah, I've I heard one time somebody say, and
this was a person that was helping us with my
friend that had alcohol was was an alcoholic, and they said,
they can't do it for their for their kids. They
got to do it for themselves.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
And your number one priority, I put myself first before anybody.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Well, thank you for the call. I appreciate it absolutely.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
You guys have a good day.
Speaker 9 (13:40):
keV.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
When you hear this, what rings to you As far
as some of the advice that we've gotten from these
last three callers.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Well, the first thing I saw, Mama right now is
like you say, you got to care about yourself before
you care about anybody. I feel like that's the same
mentality that gets you into this situation, Like that's why
you're doing it, because you only care about yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So it's kind of like this weird juxtaposition.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
We're on the left side, it's like, yes, the only
thing that can get me through is worrying about myself.
But on the right side, it's like that's the same
mindset that you're thinking of when you're doing the things
that you know is not only hurting yourself, hurting everybody else.
But obviously for one, it's amazing the type of listeners
that we have, and you never know what someone is
(14:23):
going through. And thank you and blessing to everybody that's
in recovery, and blessings and love to everybody that has
somebody that's going through recovery, and definitely need to have
the conversation, but need to do it with love and
grace and let that person know that I'm not there
to judge them, I'm there for understanding and to help
heal if there's an issue.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Dammy, what do you want to say to cav.
Speaker 8 (14:46):
Oh Hi?
Speaker 6 (14:47):
I was just saying, I have a family member who's
currently like has we going on and off for years
with drug scene, And all you can really.
Speaker 10 (14:56):
Do is just have an honest conversation with them, but
don't give them anything and let them know that you
know you're not there to judge them, but you're there
to support them, and unless they're ready to talk to
you or to like get help, just let them know
that you're in their corner.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
And that's all you really can do until like they're
ready to like make those moves.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Thank you for the call what do you think, Valerie, Hi,
you wanted to say something, Hi, I just.
Speaker 9 (15:26):
Wanted to say. My daughter is twenty three. Now she
will be clean one year of July nineteenth from Yes. Absolutely,
she was in a car accident, didn't like drinking, didn't
like marijuana, tried it once and her brother had to
nurse her through the anxiety of that the one time
she tried it, and the minute they gave her the
(15:48):
oxy it flipped the switch. And addiction is so genetically
it's huge and as a family of trying to get
her through it, and it's like a It's like I
told her, you know, I have to had to let
her know that we mean. I especially I forgive her
(16:08):
for what the things that she did because I was like,
addiction brain, I'm sorry, addiction brain. When she was in
next it's like air, It's like air, then wanting that
next hit and it's you know, she's inn She did
intends of outpatient and then she had a year long
program and we constantly talk about it to make sure
it's still in the forefront. And it was just Yes,
(16:30):
there was a car accident, had three spinal surgeries. I mean,
and how do you tell your kids they're in pain,
and no, they can't have anything else they have to deal.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
You know, it's amazing. As you you give birth to
your child, you never expect when you're holding them that
this is going to be something that you're you're dealing with.
But it sounds to me like you as a mom are.
Speaker 9 (16:48):
Day one when they gave her that prescription for that medication.
I tried to control it because I knew my kid,
I knew the addiction on both sides of the family
was so strong. Trying to control her from the beginning, Yeah,
and it's just it just gets away from you and
you just you don't have to eat, you don't you
see it, but you don't see it, and you try to.
In my attempt to try to control it, I was
(17:11):
actually enabling her well, you know, and it was But now,
like I said, so on the nineteenth, she'll be a
year clean.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
I couldn't be proud of that's amazing.
Speaker 9 (17:21):
And we celebrated from row a jelly roll. What a
perfect I said, one year cleaning, and he was just amazing.
And I couldn't be prouder of the young woman. She
starts a new job in January and it was just.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Let her know that we're proud of her too.
Speaker 9 (17:39):
I texted her, good now, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
We're proud of you. I don't want to I don't
want to give her her name out, but you know
who this is. You know this is your mom, and
you have to give a tough love.
Speaker 9 (17:51):
Man. You do tough love, but a lot of love
with the same amount of toughness, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Good job, mom, Thank you, thank you.
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