March 12, 2025 • 39 mins
Wednesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Marci has the latest editions of Tatertainment News - and What to Watch.. - The folks at JD's 24 hour stores are gearing up for a big blowout for St. Patrick's Day.. - mad Max gets a lot off of his chest regarding merit badges for the Girl Scouts.. - will flashback to a previous pope error era and talk to Mr. Haney as he tries to cash in.. - will fill a request for Ward Burton's speech in school.. - and then wrap up with an American minute from Tank Hogarth regarding manly haircuts…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's a bottom of the hour. Here came on the
top of your new all right, a ride on the
back when Pope Day day popmon days. Good morning. Let's
(00:52):
make Sean the radio. Yeah, man, we're talking about fat Tuesday.
It was last Tuesday, y'all still going through Lynton the
Catholic Church.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Right all the way Easter, sir, Yes, he.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Was going to do well. It was on this day,
twenty thirteen fifteen cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church entered
the Assisteine chavel to begin voting on a new pope
after Pope Benedict stepped down. Uh is this the same pope?
I guess one in the hospital he's doing Yeah, so anyway, sorry.
Then just a day later they chose the new pope
(01:25):
to the name Pope Francis. Didn't take long for mister
Haney to jump in the action. Let's get him here morning,
big show.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Well morning there caron board, Philly.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Hey is this mister Haney?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Oh my life pulled a fire about it?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
We told you in a long time. Man, How you doing?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Oh? I'm some mad? I could just.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Feel what's wrong?
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I don't want to talk about Well.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
If you really don't want to talk.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
You're gonna drag it out of me. I'm working in
Kitley over here on being the exclusive souvenir man a
facture for the Popes of coming Tour of America.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Oh well, how's it going.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
No, Well, we read about some of the souvenir stuff
people want to sell.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You know, some of it is a little bit tacky.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
We think, well, oh, you know them licensing agents in
the Vatican. Nice fellas, but just no imagination whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I'll crack them sooner or later. But it takes money
to make money. You got to have adventure capital. Then
I sign you's up for a piece of action.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well what kind of stuff are you pitching, mister Hayne.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
I'm glad you asked. First of all, there's Jiffy Pope popcorns.
Beat her up on the soul. She blows up in
the shape of a Pope pony, little hat that goes
great with a big ball, mister Pope's retzel chips, the
consecrated snack crackers. Look for the money saving coupon on
(02:55):
the front and the soul saving coupon on the bat.
Nothing makes a party like the refreshing taste of the
one true malt liquor. Papal Bull wants some thing in
your next party. With the Holy See Holy Do board
game co across between charades and and trivial pursuit, and
(03:17):
with the bar and restaurant call you got a thing
we call pofy Karaoke. We provide the pointy had little
rich shoes. You amaze and amuse your friends as you
lip synk along with pre recorded highlights from John Paul
two's most memorable blessings and benedictions. And we ain't forgot
(03:38):
the kiddies. They love to punish the prop plate death
because with six different infidel action figures, John Paul two
with Kong Fu grabs Paul differently. And then there's the podcast,
the hedge Awk video game. You gotta get your little
pop to collect as many convert tellets as possible time
(04:00):
avoiding the pitfalls of the complex social and political entanglements
of the Catholic Church around the world. In two hundred
and fifty six colors and stereos, Sam and you wouldn't
want the Uncle Pie Dres to feel left out. We
got an excited line of products for them too, like
the Talking Confessional cushions guaranteed to living up those soul
(04:23):
saving sessions in the boot. When the prishioner sits down
the hidden speaker and the cushion says twelve different sniff,
your phrase is like, oh, you're gonna burn in half
of that one say, I'm working down here, colors. That's
just a brief sample of overall product lines. Can I
interest you in a small piece of the upcoming people revenue?
(04:46):
To answer? Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Man, I don't know, mister Haiti. Do you think people
are really gonna give you money so you could produce
that stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Hey, hey, hey, I ain't looking to just make money here,
Although that is number two with a bullet, I'm on
bring you a chance to help it to five Catholics
around the world riding their lives, bring them closer to
little faith. Now, can you put a price tag on that?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
I guess not, well, I can't.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
It's five thousand dollars for two percent of the cross.
I shall I facks the contract over for you. Think
we'll have to get back to you all right, But
you're gonna miss out on a chance to get a
piece of the revenues from the big paypals view cables.
Start Paul two Live at Blockbuster Pavilion. It's gonna be
broadcast live on HBO.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
HBO.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I ain't he broadcasting out there? Which reminds me, are
you interested in getting in on the ground floor of
a new cable TV network?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
All wrong, baby, bigger than them on the other line,
salt Over and Moon. I'll get right back to the
Reverend Moon. Hey, a man can't keep all of this
in one basket, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Listen, Misery, we need to run here.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Wait, I didn't even tell you about the in for
commercials for the Pope. T they're anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
We really have to go.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
I gotta call into the pillar rain box out some
little red, a little them pump.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Any time, gotta dash.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
We'll send the prospectives over there to the office. Talk
it over. If you have any questions, we'll do lunch here.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Good morning. There's a big show on Alrady go about
twenty minutes away the dose of tentertainment news and want
to watch right now, let's do it. It's time for
the grumpy old man.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Whoopery, poopery. I'm old and I hate doctors. In my day,
we didn't have any Harvard trained Mayo clinic interned, malpractice,
protected BMW driving, nurse chasing pill popping saw bones. On
every street corner. We had a crazy old Cajun medicine
(07:27):
man named Lazy Lifty Lebau. He wasn't really lazy, He
just got into some bad moonshine and shoot his own
feet off. Now he can't get around with beans. And
his left hand was a big shiny hook. Your folks
told you he lost it to a gator, but the
truth was he just liked how it looked. And when
(07:50):
you got sick, your folks were taken to his smelly
little cabin in the woods and they'd leave you there.
You knew you were in trouble when you saw the
magazines in his waiting room Man Love Monthly.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And Boy's Life.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
No matter what was wrong with you, he'd insist there
was trouble with your man parts. And before he latched ontia,
he'd fumble with a rosin bag like he was planting
a pitcher, no hitter, and you didn't dare make a
run for it because you didn't want to end up
getting hung up on that hook and gout it like
(08:26):
a trout or singing soprano. And the hill billy boys choir,
and when he told you the only thing that would
cull you was a good sweat, So he'd start a
big fire in a fireplace and make your dance around
buck naked for hours on in and if you got better,
it was a miracle. And if you didn't, you never
told your parents, because you'd rather have died than make
(08:49):
another office visit to doctor pickle Twister. Indeed, Jimminy Wiggle
pickle Tickle too. Look at me, I'm a human hill
billy hand puppet with powder all over my twigs and berries.
We live in the age of enlightenment, and we liked
it that way. We loved it, and we didn't have
(09:14):
no magic cure. All over the counter Tampa proof candy
coated two zillion milligram tablets.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
We didn't know what a pill was. We were so
big ignorant.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
We blamed all of our ills on evil spirits and
the bad habits of famous people. You got a migraine headache,
you'd blame the devil himself, fulfilling your good with impure
thoughts about missus culling Farmer, the hot young preacher's wife
that was wearing that low cut swimming costume you saw
(09:45):
her wearing. So you had purged those demons the only
way you knew how.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
With pain.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
You'd summoned the courage to spit in the face of
one of the smelly mcgauca twins and then stand there
and take it while they punched you in the scult
of your brains were goop it out, and you are
speaking gibberish, and when you finally screamed the name of
the Lord of Mercy, you'd be cured. You'd be a
pudding eaten vegetable from then on, but you'd be evil
spirit free forever. And if you'd get the squirts, you'd
(10:17):
blame Clark Gable for playing backdoor blackjack with Danny Kaye
and all the rest of that stuff you read in
those hollyweird confidential dime novels you found in Gimpy Gordy
Humphreys out house.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
There weren't no cure, but at least you had some
of the curse.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
While you were trapped in the crapper with your guts
and knots. Great mumblet bubbly whifflewaffer. Look at me, I'm
a big dopey, brain dead bubber locked in the porter
pooper with visions a Humphrey Bogod playing pants pirates with
Randolph Scott. It's a wonderful life at last. I kicked
the oxygen Habit opened up those pearly gates. Here comes
(10:55):
another dumb ass.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And we liked it.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
We loved it. Blippery Blue, I hate doctors.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Good morning, everybody. You got a big show on the radio, right,
big showing radio. Ah, that's like any newsletter sports.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
This is Spanky from the Yellow Rose. You're listening to
the greatest morning show and recorded history of broadcast radio,
John Boy and Billy Big Show.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
How big is it? Bigger than my head?
Speaker 5 (11:34):
And that's big there, Yeah, o b I read it
and now pay that tabby a seat dead beat.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Good morning, it's a big showing the radio. Well, Miss Daney,
Guys talking about the pope, we'll do this top ten list.
Speaker 6 (12:24):
Well, it's one of the top stories of the week.
Being elected the new Pope is a big moment in
a person's life, but it comes with a lot of pressure.
You're the religious leader of a billion people worldwide. You're
assumed be infallible on spiritual stuff. Sometimes you have to
take the heat for what unscrupulous people in your organization
do sometimes, but the news isn't all bad. The new
(12:46):
Pope will also enjoy an impressive list of extras attached
to his new gig. And here they are today's top
ten list the top ten perks of being elected Pope.
Number ten you get a really cool ring and a
bitchin new pair of shoes. Number nine. The popemobile can
(13:06):
parked in handicap spaces without getting a ticket.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Number eight.
Speaker 6 (13:10):
Nobody asked you to take your hat off at the
Vatican Cinema twelve. Number seven you get to use the
Supreme Pontiff only lane on Italian toll roads. Number six
lifetime twenty percent discount at participating Olive Garden restaurants. Number five,
sweet revenge on smart Aleci classmates who voted you least
(13:33):
likely to be elected Pope. Number four, your mom finally
stops nagging you to go to medical school. Number three
you'll probably be the only Pope at your high school reunion.
Number two you finally have the power to put Terry
Hanson on the official heretic list. And the number one
(13:55):
perk of being elected Pope Free Bristol race tickets were Life.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Good Morning Big shows on the radio coming up. We
play wordy word for a happy herd. No we don't. Yeah,
we do for a happy heard prize. I can't be
heard breaking up over here waiting. It's me uh. Top
quality attractors, minerals feed for dear bear in halls. You're
not using happy Herd. You better hope your neighbors aren't.
Click on the happy Herd. Bantner at big show dot com.
You gonna go JBB you get tim percent off, check out,
(14:31):
hang out, playboar ten minutes. We're right now from the
desk of Taytor Taman News. Just what to watch? Here's
our girl, Marcy taytor'm moran.
Speaker 7 (14:41):
Well, let's see what everybody was watching at the box
office this weekend. Mickey seventeen, that sci fi comedy starring
Robert Pattinson. It opened up in number one at the
box office, but with only nineteen point one million. They say,
only because we're dealing with their numbers. I would love
it myself. The movie cost a reported one hundred an
eighteen million to make, so critics are saying this is
(15:04):
looking like a bomb. It's not really taken off the
way that those those investors would like. For a while yeah,
obviously I'm the rest of the top five all dropped
one slot from last weekend. Captain America, Brave New World
came in second place, followed by Last Breath in third,
The Monkey came in fourth place, and Old Paddington in Peru.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
He stayed in.
Speaker 7 (15:26):
The top five number five all right in theaters this weekend.
If you want to go out and check a new flick,
how about Black Bag. It's a drama and mystery thrill
thriller thriller from Thriller. It has Kate Blanchett in Michael
Fastbender and Black Bag is a gripping spy drama about
a legendary intelligence agents, George Woodhouse and his beloved wife Catherine.
(15:48):
So she is suspected of betraying the nation in George
faces you know, the ultimate test of loyalty to his
marriage or to his country.
Speaker 8 (15:54):
What does he do?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So that's Black Bag.
Speaker 7 (15:57):
Novacan As an action comedy, has Jack Quaid starring in it.
That's Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan's son.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Uh.
Speaker 7 (16:04):
It's Amazon Prime superhero series The Boys. He was in
that as well, if you're a fan of that. He
was also in Oppenheimer. All Right, So novacaine. When the
girl of his dreams is kidnapped, every man Nate turns
his inability to feel pain into an unexpected strength in
his fight to get her back. So he's a guy
that can get the snot beat out of him and
apparently all I've seen a couple of clips and lastly,
(16:30):
an animated flick The Day the Earth Blew Up a
Looney Tunes movie. Martian Porky Pig and Daffy Duck are
making their hilarious return to the big screen in this
sci fi comedy adventure. It's the first ever fully animated
Loony Tunes feature length movie created for a cinema audience. Well,
Porky and Daffy are an unlikely, unlikely heroes and Earth's
(16:52):
only hope when facing the threat of alien invasion.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Is walking the view of more. I'm hoping, I'm hoping.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Streaming, we've got.
Speaker 7 (17:06):
Netflix renewed the basketball comedy series Running Point, which stars
Kate Hudson.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Uh.
Speaker 7 (17:11):
It debuted last week, so you might get it for
Kate Hudson and I streamed Court of Gold. It's a
mini series. It's a six part series and it has
it's the well, how do I say this. The documentary
takes you behind the scenes with top metal contenders and
men's basketball as a battle for gold and glory at
the twenty twenty four Olympics. So they showed all this
(17:33):
behind the scenes footage of the of the team's practicing.
It follows France, Serbia, Canada and the United States. You
see a lot of stuff Lebron, Kevin Durant, a lot
of like I said, behind the scenes. It's executive produced
by Barack and Michelle Obama, so of course Barack is
in it. He makes an appearance and they talk a
(17:53):
lot about the team's pressure, uh, living up to the
Dream Team because like once they brought the Dream Team in,
we've just been racking up at the Olympics and so.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
On.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Out of Lebron and Obama on the same show. Please
watch it. I'm gonna go over there in high five
Jackie over Lebron for minutes and that's a to watch,
all right, baby, Thank you very much, and I would
like to say you says a moment on what to
(18:29):
watch to go to the John Womilly Facebook page and
thank y'all. A lot of y'all already found out about
my dog Pearl. If you're just hearing it. Pearl, what
do you call it the rainbow bridge talking about Yeah,
Pearl passed on. We had to had to let her
go over the weekend, and uh, a lot of you
guys got it where we did it, Like it's a
(18:50):
lap of love deal where they come to your house.
You know, they don't have to take the dog out
or do you know like that? It is really cool.
But uh, there's a link from our Facebook page. If
you want to go out you do something stupid like
ot sue you light a candle or something like.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Well, it's just it's like a legacy page.
Speaker 7 (19:06):
It's like an obituary page that you have for your
loved ones. So there's things where you can leave a
message or you know, yeah, light a candle.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
It is it is neat to do that. Let's just
around surprise how much you do grieve over whether you're fi.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I mean, she was in your party life for seventeen years.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
So baby, well, I appreciate you and Jackie and my
wife handling all that stuff. Just a word, y'all sweet? Okay,
So check it out. Yeah, my dog pearls John Won't
Billy Facebook page. You can take it from there. All right, well,
let's get us some winner right here, Tay, let's play
some pretty word right, let's do it one ain't hundred
big show you told free line. We get a couple
(19:46):
of contestants and play next. Good morning. That's a big
(20:14):
show on the radio through your Wednesday morning, March twelfth,
beature track from the bit boxes, Great American tank, hold guard,
serving up for you the T word haircut. You want
to get you a quick lads, we're right now.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Let's play out at everybody's head about the.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Bed, big the wordy word. Let's meet the contestants. We
got Stephen from Greenville, South Carolina. Good morning, Stephen, Good
morning nobody. And we got a Runo out of Sautilla, Mississippi.
Good morning, Runo.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Okay, good morning, hey all rise.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
David, there's run Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Run there.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Stephen of South Carolina. Hey, I have.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Everybody say hey.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Right, boys again and girls, two rounds thirty seconds each.
All right, let's see how we had a little here.
Randy held up reunite. That was a word we ended
on yesterday. That was I didn't wait on no, no,
y'all did okay here? Thank you? Rendy? All right, So Rna.
(21:31):
You relax. Let's see what me and Stephen can do
for the first thirty seconds. Are you read of Stephen?
I'm ready to rock, all right, buddy, starting to clock now.
In the shower, you wash your hair with tampoo. Uh huh.
If you have these, you're abdomen getting As a kid,
you'd have them all the time.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
You up?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, okay? A fork? Blank. It's a piece of equipment,
a fork to to heave something. Yeah, lift, okay, listen,
I want to tell you a what uh yes, uh huh.
These are little fish. They're salted in a can. You
get them? Had a bullet? All right?
Speaker 4 (22:15):
What we do?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Jackson? Put a five on the board. Good work, Steven.
So Rana and Tayter for your round one?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Okay, Rana?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Are you ready?
Speaker 7 (22:24):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Okay and go.
Speaker 7 (22:27):
If you die in the water, you've done what what
happened to you?
Speaker 8 (22:34):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (22:35):
Rhymes with it. This guy is in a circus. He
has like a red nose and is usually yes rhymes
with it. Not a smile, but a mile.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
No upside down smile. Is a what brown? Yes, rhymes
with it. The color the color of the stuff dirt
is this color.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Brown At the buzzer while Tayler was trying to get
turned out of her head. Right. Four on the board,
Stephen leeds five to four, going in around two. All right, Stephen,
are you ready? Let's rock Ah we go starting the o'clock. Now,
(23:25):
the opposite of up is the rhymes with it. Let's
go to up up? What the city? Let's go to?
Rhymes with it, Let's go go to what the city?
Where you live? And what with the last one? Uh,
(23:46):
won't you take me too funky? Yes? Rhymes with it.
A king wears this on his head. Yeah, rhymes with it.
A wedding bow you giving it? No? No'm wedding gown? Yeah, yeah,
that was say after the buzzer. There's a little deal
(24:09):
we have with the phone hurts so so many times.
What do we do? Eight on the board when we
look at it all over? Are you talking about the delay? Yes,
thank you did. I couldn't come up with the word delay.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
You're good at charread's.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Took with my hands. I'm not already made it in
the Hall of Fame. Yeah. You four will force overtime
and five will win it. All right, Okay, when new
were and.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
Go, you graduate from college and you have a blank
in science or a blank. Yes, I'm I'm blank. This
is my job. Take me blank. I'm not kidding around. Uh,
I'm not playing. I'm being blank. Yes, hey, stop blank.
(25:02):
You see this, it's a stop blank and you stop that.
You might feed this in water.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
You're indoor?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
What it's green?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Time?
Speaker 9 (25:12):
Up?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
You look up to it?
Speaker 5 (25:13):
Looked up to look up, holler.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And look up. We go to overtime. It is eight
day after two rounds. Yes, you did. It was a
little lad, it wasn't.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
All right.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Well, let's do a fifteen second overtime. Stephen, all right,
let's see what we can do in fifteen seconds. Oh no, man,
that's a hard one. Okay, all right, ready said that?
All turn this up? All right, Steven, here we go
fifteen seconds. Start the clock. Now, if you don't pass
(25:51):
a grade in school, you what? Yes? Uh huh? You
eat off of this a dinner? Blank on the table?
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Eat?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Yeah. Let's go to a trimple A A double A
we have. I was blamed that, John, I was blamed
the joke that went through my head in fifteen seconds
in the area. All right, what do we do? A
two on the board too, Well, let's see what happens here. Okay, Tayire,
(26:22):
you and Rono get too. We'll go to double over time.
All right, three will win? All right? Ready bigging up
on that last one, go tonight.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
There's a pta what.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Maybe yep?
Speaker 7 (26:36):
This is like this is a donkey and a horse.
They had one they make and they have one of these. Yeah,
you was it? You put this in your car? It
rhymes with that. No, but what's it called?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Y'all?
Speaker 1 (26:54):
To double over time? I love this.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Randy's arms are getting.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Sore that.
Speaker 9 (27:02):
Ah right.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, let's say, by the way, let me go back
to the meeting. While I'm thinking about it. I would
dry the alcohol a nominous anonymous. Anything you go to,
you have to go to these drip I drinking body
said they tried to go to one and they just
gave him a bunch of maps. And all right, so
(27:28):
let's say what happened. All right, Well, let's say what
we can do, Steven. Let's uh, let's use another fifteen
seconds right here, all right? Okay, right, and we're picking
up on that last one. You probably forgot all about it.
Well to see what we can do. Start the clock now.
Gasoline diesel is a title. Yes, uh, this is rhymes
(27:49):
with it the golden, follow the golden goose. No, it
rhymes with fuel, follow the golden did he say no? No, No,
he's still going rhymes with fuel. We got a one
(28:11):
on the board with a confused Stephen. So let's see
what happens with Tater goes. This is gonna end whether
we end in a tie or win. So Rana you ready, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
I have one blank you have to follow.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Runs with it a baby.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
This is spit just coming out of his mouth. It's
called what the baby?
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yes, drool for the win and so Stephen, Yeah, so
you get it now like rule rhyme d refuel. Yeah, hey, man,
was now going to win the double overtime. A good
(28:59):
game and you can try again anytime. I'll get jacket
to get you up down the road. All right, buddy,
you have a one our damon bags man. Alright, ron
I look at you want and then double overtime now, Bernie,
you can get whatever you want, baby, what you need? Okay, yeah, okay,
(29:26):
hang on, good morning, big shows on the radio. Yeah,
contact sport. Let's go to requested bit of the morning.
Brendall Miller out of Brunswick, Georgia. Randall says, I want
to recuess that school that teaches people to speak the
(29:46):
NASCAR guy wardburn All Ward speech in school. All right, Ran,
we'll get that for you coming up next. Good morning,
(30:17):
this big show on the radio and something you've heard before.
Light ahead again. This is the time we take your request.
But by this time only two Friday hit us up.
Don Won Miiller Facebook page and I was just talking
about what what is say about dog Pearl? Didn't not
do a little candle deal there, Taylor tay Heaven. I'm
(30:40):
sorry Randall Miller's request. Here go Randall, longtime big show
list rather Brunswick, Georgia. You're a natural race car driver.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
You've got the skills, you've got the car, You've even
got the team. There's only one missing piece of a
punk Geez said.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
It was tough out there. All that moter Gates was
raid in my bumper, But this year's Kurt was waking fast.
Speaker 6 (31:07):
And guys, yes, if you're gonna make it in racing,
you need a Southern accent. That's why you need the
Ward Burton speech in school. Whether you're a super dent
in California, a uper from the Upper Midwest or a
jumoke from Joyse. The Ward Burton speech in school can help.
Speaker 9 (31:29):
That's right, Chuck. In just twelve weeks off special high
in censive program, I have you shining like he was
born and raised in the heart of South Boston, Virginia,
just like me.
Speaker 6 (31:38):
The Ward Burton speech in school features daily classroom training
by the Master Ward Burton himself.
Speaker 9 (31:44):
Okay, class, repeat that to me. This Caterpillar crew did
just a soup a job Kyl was awesome all day long.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Here's student Joey Punazio before yo, uh, I want to
be a race card driver.
Speaker 6 (32:04):
And here's Joey after completing the Ward Burton program.
Speaker 9 (32:07):
I'm gonna tell you something right now, man thought there's
the first Martley Long Doggie. Now, don't let the wrong
accents screw up your racing career. Call me now at
one eight hundred five six seven nine four six seven.
That's one eight hundred cash gifts their sire the Lodos.
In just twelve short weeks, you'll be American by birth
(32:27):
and Southern by the grace of Ward.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
The war Burton speech in school.
Speaker 9 (32:32):
Don't delay call today. Operators are standing bye.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Good morning. There's a Big Shoan Radio Laura, a lot
of skids coming home. Mother Day, bother Day, Saint Patrick's
Day celebrated with a John Boyn Milley album. But us
come from Tank Hogarth at the bed box, keyword haircut.
Here is a great American. It is time for an
(33:26):
American minute with Tank Hogar.
Speaker 8 (33:29):
Hey, America, tank Hogarth, Here got a minute. You know,
every time I think the world is as screwed up
as it's ever gonna get, I noticed another block missing
in America's rapidly collapsing world. Jenga tower, another example of
how this hand basket the hell is getting full of
every damn day. I'll make this real easy on you.
(33:51):
Shut your pie hole and unplug your earbuds, and maybe,
just maybe some smarts'll seep into that fat head of years.
Trust me, it's a better use of your time than
doing your own thinking. I want to argue about it.
Here's a mirror. So there I was wading through the
wretched refuse of humanity, hit deep in layobouts and losers,
(34:14):
a solitary soul cast amongst the societal burdens and intellectually challenged.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
That's right.
Speaker 8 (34:21):
I was at the mall, not by choice had to
I was buying a new knife. Why, none of your
damn business.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
That's why.
Speaker 8 (34:35):
So I walk up to the clerk to pick up
my parcel and come face to face with a smug,
little millennial Dingleberry. And he was standing right under the
most pathetic new age haircut I'd ever seen, poopy in front,
shaved on the sides, and a little braided rat tail
in the back. What hell, I don't know. Maybe I'm
(35:01):
old fashioned, maybe I'm living in the past. Maybe my
generations just not with it. Man, hell, I still hold
the door for women, no matter how stupid and trashy
they are.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
But I'll tell you this much.
Speaker 8 (35:13):
If you're a grown ass man and you have to
go to a salon instead of a barber that gets
your hair cut, remind me to leave the seed up
for your princess. If the person cutting your hair is
a lot more Paul Lynn than Paul Newman, I'll bet
you've got share CDs in your Mini Cooper. If it
(35:33):
takes longer to cut your hair, then take a leak.
I'll bet your closet is full of lots and lots
of shoes. What the hell has happened to our haircuts America.
Cutting a haircut in America used.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
To be easy.
Speaker 8 (35:48):
You'd go down to the local barber shop. You'd buy
a coke for a nickel. You'd read Field and Stream
and Boy's Life. And when it was your turn, a
man cuts your hair. He told you stories about the
wars he fought, and the women he loved, and all
the comis that you shouldn't vote for in the next election.
He kept his comb and blew liquid and shaved your
(36:10):
face with a straight razor. And it costs you two
bits and ten minutes of your time. Today you have
to make an appointment two months in advance. They offer
you a cappuccino for ten bucks. The magazines are Alternative
Lifestyle and People. The person cutting your hair looks like
(36:31):
a man, but talks like a chick, and sometimes it's
the other way around. You have to guess whether you
address it as sir or man. And then they tell
you stories, stories about the reality shows they watch, which
Kardashian they hate, and all the Kamis they're voting for
(36:52):
in the next election. They have two hundred and fifty
different combes, all for different things, and they keep them
in a steam sterilizer because of the legion of disease
ridden yuppies. They service every damn day, and if you
have to take a squirt, well, there's an all gender
bathroom so you can avoid your bladder next to a
six foot five inch redhead named Bernard.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
That wants to.
Speaker 8 (37:16):
Talk ball scores while scoring your well, you get the picture.
All this for only one hundred and fifty bucks. Sorry
CHOCKI for that kind of mullah. I usually get a
haircut plus a hot oil massage from a busty Russian
woman whose name I can't pronounce with hands the size
of catcherments, plus a hand sandwich and the Joe DiMaggio
(37:39):
rookie card.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Yeah that really happened.
Speaker 8 (37:43):
Used to be only two kinds of haircuts in America,
parted on the left and parted on the right. If
you parted it down the middle, you were a geek
and shunned by society. Today, the sky's the limit mohawk,
fro hawk, mohawk. You can get design shaved into your head,
dyed pink, lacquered to look like gills, half shaved, half
(38:06):
permed like a Q tip on Chemo. Dear Sweet Baby
Jesus and Bear Bryant makes me miss the mullet and
the combover. You know, the good old days. Oh dear,
look at the time, I've overstayed my welcome once again.
Tough crap, and you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Until next time.
Speaker 8 (38:31):
This is tank Hoguard, Stop sucking America.
Speaker 6 (38:51):
Big Boxes Here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show Runny nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Buy them once, play them anywhere.
Speaker 6 (38:57):
You can shop the mid Box online right now at
the Big Show dot.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Com or a Big Show stuff I phone.
Speaker 6 (39:02):
The number is eight hundred four to seven one Stuff
Online services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
If you missed any of The Big Show this morning,
you can hear it all the John Borebilly Late Risers
podcast up next. Wait wherever you get your podcast, make
it easy. Subscribe to us with the free I Heart
Radio app. Love you mean It
It's a bottom of the hour. Here came on the
top of your new all right, a ride on the
back when Pope Day day popmon days. Good morning. Let's
(00:52):
make Sean the radio. Yeah, man, we're talking about fat Tuesday.
It was last Tuesday, y'all still going through Lynton the
Catholic Church.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Right all the way Easter, sir, Yes, he.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Was going to do well. It was on this day,
twenty thirteen fifteen cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church entered
the Assisteine chavel to begin voting on a new pope
after Pope Benedict stepped down. Uh is this the same pope?
I guess one in the hospital he's doing Yeah, so anyway, sorry.
Then just a day later they chose the new pope
(01:25):
to the name Pope Francis. Didn't take long for mister
Haney to jump in the action. Let's get him here morning,
big show.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Well morning there caron board, Philly.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Hey is this mister Haney?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Oh my life pulled a fire about it?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
We told you in a long time. Man, How you doing?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Oh? I'm some mad? I could just.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Feel what's wrong?
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I don't want to talk about Well.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
If you really don't want to talk.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
You're gonna drag it out of me. I'm working in
Kitley over here on being the exclusive souvenir man a
facture for the Popes of coming Tour of America.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Oh well, how's it going.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
No, Well, we read about some of the souvenir stuff
people want to sell.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You know, some of it is a little bit tacky.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
We think, well, oh, you know them licensing agents in
the Vatican. Nice fellas, but just no imagination whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I'll crack them sooner or later. But it takes money
to make money. You got to have adventure capital. Then
I sign you's up for a piece of action.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well what kind of stuff are you pitching, mister Hayne.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
I'm glad you asked. First of all, there's Jiffy Pope popcorns.
Beat her up on the soul. She blows up in
the shape of a Pope pony, little hat that goes
great with a big ball, mister Pope's retzel chips, the
consecrated snack crackers. Look for the money saving coupon on
(02:55):
the front and the soul saving coupon on the bat.
Nothing makes a party like the refreshing taste of the
one true malt liquor. Papal Bull wants some thing in
your next party. With the Holy See Holy Do board
game co across between charades and and trivial pursuit, and
(03:17):
with the bar and restaurant call you got a thing
we call pofy Karaoke. We provide the pointy had little
rich shoes. You amaze and amuse your friends as you
lip synk along with pre recorded highlights from John Paul
two's most memorable blessings and benedictions. And we ain't forgot
(03:38):
the kiddies. They love to punish the prop plate death
because with six different infidel action figures, John Paul two
with Kong Fu grabs Paul differently. And then there's the podcast,
the hedge Awk video game. You gotta get your little
pop to collect as many convert tellets as possible time
(04:00):
avoiding the pitfalls of the complex social and political entanglements
of the Catholic Church around the world. In two hundred
and fifty six colors and stereos, Sam and you wouldn't
want the Uncle Pie Dres to feel left out. We
got an excited line of products for them too, like
the Talking Confessional cushions guaranteed to living up those soul
(04:23):
saving sessions in the boot. When the prishioner sits down
the hidden speaker and the cushion says twelve different sniff,
your phrase is like, oh, you're gonna burn in half
of that one say, I'm working down here, colors. That's
just a brief sample of overall product lines. Can I
interest you in a small piece of the upcoming people revenue?
(04:46):
To answer? Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Man, I don't know, mister Haiti. Do you think people
are really gonna give you money so you could produce
that stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Hey, hey, hey, I ain't looking to just make money here,
Although that is number two with a bullet, I'm on
bring you a chance to help it to five Catholics
around the world riding their lives, bring them closer to
little faith. Now, can you put a price tag on that?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
I guess not, well, I can't.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
It's five thousand dollars for two percent of the cross.
I shall I facks the contract over for you. Think
we'll have to get back to you all right, But
you're gonna miss out on a chance to get a
piece of the revenues from the big paypals view cables.
Start Paul two Live at Blockbuster Pavilion. It's gonna be
broadcast live on HBO.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
HBO.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I ain't he broadcasting out there? Which reminds me, are
you interested in getting in on the ground floor of
a new cable TV network?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
All wrong, baby, bigger than them on the other line,
salt Over and Moon. I'll get right back to the
Reverend Moon. Hey, a man can't keep all of this
in one basket, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Listen, Misery, we need to run here.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Wait, I didn't even tell you about the in for
commercials for the Pope. T they're anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
We really have to go.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
I gotta call into the pillar rain box out some
little red, a little them pump.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Any time, gotta dash.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
We'll send the prospectives over there to the office. Talk
it over. If you have any questions, we'll do lunch here.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Good morning. There's a big show on Alrady go about
twenty minutes away the dose of tentertainment news and want
to watch right now, let's do it. It's time for
the grumpy old man.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Whoopery, poopery. I'm old and I hate doctors. In my day,
we didn't have any Harvard trained Mayo clinic interned, malpractice,
protected BMW driving, nurse chasing pill popping saw bones. On
every street corner. We had a crazy old Cajun medicine
(07:27):
man named Lazy Lifty Lebau. He wasn't really lazy, He
just got into some bad moonshine and shoot his own
feet off. Now he can't get around with beans. And
his left hand was a big shiny hook. Your folks
told you he lost it to a gator, but the
truth was he just liked how it looked. And when
(07:50):
you got sick, your folks were taken to his smelly
little cabin in the woods and they'd leave you there.
You knew you were in trouble when you saw the
magazines in his waiting room Man Love Monthly.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And Boy's Life.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
No matter what was wrong with you, he'd insist there
was trouble with your man parts. And before he latched ontia,
he'd fumble with a rosin bag like he was planting
a pitcher, no hitter, and you didn't dare make a
run for it because you didn't want to end up
getting hung up on that hook and gout it like
(08:26):
a trout or singing soprano. And the hill billy boys choir,
and when he told you the only thing that would
cull you was a good sweat, So he'd start a
big fire in a fireplace and make your dance around
buck naked for hours on in and if you got better,
it was a miracle. And if you didn't, you never
told your parents, because you'd rather have died than make
(08:49):
another office visit to doctor pickle Twister. Indeed, Jimminy Wiggle
pickle Tickle too. Look at me, I'm a human hill
billy hand puppet with powder all over my twigs and berries.
We live in the age of enlightenment, and we liked
it that way. We loved it, and we didn't have
(09:14):
no magic cure. All over the counter Tampa proof candy
coated two zillion milligram tablets.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
We didn't know what a pill was. We were so
big ignorant.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
We blamed all of our ills on evil spirits and
the bad habits of famous people. You got a migraine headache,
you'd blame the devil himself, fulfilling your good with impure
thoughts about missus culling Farmer, the hot young preacher's wife
that was wearing that low cut swimming costume you saw
(09:45):
her wearing. So you had purged those demons the only
way you knew how.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
With pain.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
You'd summoned the courage to spit in the face of
one of the smelly mcgauca twins and then stand there
and take it while they punched you in the scult
of your brains were goop it out, and you are
speaking gibberish, and when you finally screamed the name of
the Lord of Mercy, you'd be cured. You'd be a
pudding eaten vegetable from then on, but you'd be evil
spirit free forever. And if you'd get the squirts, you'd
(10:17):
blame Clark Gable for playing backdoor blackjack with Danny Kaye
and all the rest of that stuff you read in
those hollyweird confidential dime novels you found in Gimpy Gordy
Humphreys out house.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
There weren't no cure, but at least you had some
of the curse.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
While you were trapped in the crapper with your guts
and knots. Great mumblet bubbly whifflewaffer. Look at me, I'm
a big dopey, brain dead bubber locked in the porter
pooper with visions a Humphrey Bogod playing pants pirates with
Randolph Scott. It's a wonderful life at last. I kicked
the oxygen Habit opened up those pearly gates. Here comes
(10:55):
another dumb ass.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And we liked it.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
We loved it. Blippery Blue, I hate doctors.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Good morning, everybody. You got a big show on the radio, right,
big showing radio. Ah, that's like any newsletter sports.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
This is Spanky from the Yellow Rose. You're listening to
the greatest morning show and recorded history of broadcast radio,
John Boy and Billy Big Show.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
How big is it? Bigger than my head?
Speaker 5 (11:34):
And that's big there, Yeah, o b I read it
and now pay that tabby a seat dead beat.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Good morning, it's a big showing the radio. Well, Miss Daney,
Guys talking about the pope, we'll do this top ten list.
Speaker 6 (12:24):
Well, it's one of the top stories of the week.
Being elected the new Pope is a big moment in
a person's life, but it comes with a lot of pressure.
You're the religious leader of a billion people worldwide. You're
assumed be infallible on spiritual stuff. Sometimes you have to
take the heat for what unscrupulous people in your organization
do sometimes, but the news isn't all bad. The new
(12:46):
Pope will also enjoy an impressive list of extras attached
to his new gig. And here they are today's top
ten list the top ten perks of being elected Pope.
Number ten you get a really cool ring and a
bitchin new pair of shoes. Number nine. The popemobile can
(13:06):
parked in handicap spaces without getting a ticket.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Number eight.
Speaker 6 (13:10):
Nobody asked you to take your hat off at the
Vatican Cinema twelve. Number seven you get to use the
Supreme Pontiff only lane on Italian toll roads. Number six
lifetime twenty percent discount at participating Olive Garden restaurants. Number five,
sweet revenge on smart Aleci classmates who voted you least
(13:33):
likely to be elected Pope. Number four, your mom finally
stops nagging you to go to medical school. Number three
you'll probably be the only Pope at your high school reunion.
Number two you finally have the power to put Terry
Hanson on the official heretic list. And the number one
(13:55):
perk of being elected Pope Free Bristol race tickets were Life.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Good Morning Big shows on the radio coming up. We
play wordy word for a happy herd. No we don't. Yeah,
we do for a happy heard prize. I can't be
heard breaking up over here waiting. It's me uh. Top
quality attractors, minerals feed for dear bear in halls. You're
not using happy Herd. You better hope your neighbors aren't.
Click on the happy Herd. Bantner at big show dot com.
You gonna go JBB you get tim percent off, check out,
(14:31):
hang out, playboar ten minutes. We're right now from the
desk of Taytor Taman News. Just what to watch? Here's
our girl, Marcy taytor'm moran.
Speaker 7 (14:41):
Well, let's see what everybody was watching at the box
office this weekend. Mickey seventeen, that sci fi comedy starring
Robert Pattinson. It opened up in number one at the
box office, but with only nineteen point one million. They say,
only because we're dealing with their numbers. I would love
it myself. The movie cost a reported one hundred an
eighteen million to make, so critics are saying this is
(15:04):
looking like a bomb. It's not really taken off the
way that those those investors would like. For a while yeah,
obviously I'm the rest of the top five all dropped
one slot from last weekend. Captain America, Brave New World
came in second place, followed by Last Breath in third,
The Monkey came in fourth place, and Old Paddington in Peru.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
He stayed in.
Speaker 7 (15:26):
The top five number five all right in theaters this weekend.
If you want to go out and check a new flick,
how about Black Bag. It's a drama and mystery thrill
thriller thriller from Thriller. It has Kate Blanchett in Michael
Fastbender and Black Bag is a gripping spy drama about
a legendary intelligence agents, George Woodhouse and his beloved wife Catherine.
(15:48):
So she is suspected of betraying the nation in George
faces you know, the ultimate test of loyalty to his
marriage or to his country.
Speaker 8 (15:54):
What does he do?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So that's Black Bag.
Speaker 7 (15:57):
Novacan As an action comedy, has Jack Quaid starring in it.
That's Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan's son.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Uh.
Speaker 7 (16:04):
It's Amazon Prime superhero series The Boys. He was in
that as well, if you're a fan of that. He
was also in Oppenheimer. All Right, So novacaine. When the
girl of his dreams is kidnapped, every man Nate turns
his inability to feel pain into an unexpected strength in
his fight to get her back. So he's a guy
that can get the snot beat out of him and
apparently all I've seen a couple of clips and lastly,
(16:30):
an animated flick The Day the Earth Blew Up a
Looney Tunes movie. Martian Porky Pig and Daffy Duck are
making their hilarious return to the big screen in this
sci fi comedy adventure. It's the first ever fully animated
Loony Tunes feature length movie created for a cinema audience. Well,
Porky and Daffy are an unlikely, unlikely heroes and Earth's
(16:52):
only hope when facing the threat of alien invasion.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Is walking the view of more. I'm hoping, I'm hoping.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Streaming, we've got.
Speaker 7 (17:06):
Netflix renewed the basketball comedy series Running Point, which stars
Kate Hudson.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Uh.
Speaker 7 (17:11):
It debuted last week, so you might get it for
Kate Hudson and I streamed Court of Gold. It's a
mini series. It's a six part series and it has
it's the well, how do I say this. The documentary
takes you behind the scenes with top metal contenders and
men's basketball as a battle for gold and glory at
the twenty twenty four Olympics. So they showed all this
(17:33):
behind the scenes footage of the of the team's practicing.
It follows France, Serbia, Canada and the United States. You
see a lot of stuff Lebron, Kevin Durant, a lot
of like I said, behind the scenes. It's executive produced
by Barack and Michelle Obama, so of course Barack is
in it. He makes an appearance and they talk a
(17:53):
lot about the team's pressure, uh, living up to the
Dream Team because like once they brought the Dream Team in,
we've just been racking up at the Olympics and so.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
On.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Out of Lebron and Obama on the same show. Please
watch it. I'm gonna go over there in high five
Jackie over Lebron for minutes and that's a to watch,
all right, baby, Thank you very much, and I would
like to say you says a moment on what to
(18:29):
watch to go to the John Womilly Facebook page and
thank y'all. A lot of y'all already found out about
my dog Pearl. If you're just hearing it. Pearl, what
do you call it the rainbow bridge talking about Yeah,
Pearl passed on. We had to had to let her
go over the weekend, and uh, a lot of you
guys got it where we did it, Like it's a
(18:50):
lap of love deal where they come to your house.
You know, they don't have to take the dog out
or do you know like that? It is really cool.
But uh, there's a link from our Facebook page. If
you want to go out you do something stupid like
ot sue you light a candle or something like.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Well, it's just it's like a legacy page.
Speaker 7 (19:06):
It's like an obituary page that you have for your
loved ones. So there's things where you can leave a
message or you know, yeah, light a candle.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
It is it is neat to do that. Let's just
around surprise how much you do grieve over whether you're fi.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I mean, she was in your party life for seventeen years.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
So baby, well, I appreciate you and Jackie and my
wife handling all that stuff. Just a word, y'all sweet? Okay,
So check it out. Yeah, my dog pearls John Won't
Billy Facebook page. You can take it from there. All right, well,
let's get us some winner right here, Tay, let's play
some pretty word right, let's do it one ain't hundred
big show you told free line. We get a couple
(19:46):
of contestants and play next. Good morning. That's a big
(20:14):
show on the radio through your Wednesday morning, March twelfth,
beature track from the bit boxes, Great American tank, hold guard,
serving up for you the T word haircut. You want
to get you a quick lads, we're right now.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Let's play out at everybody's head about the.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Bed, big the wordy word. Let's meet the contestants. We
got Stephen from Greenville, South Carolina. Good morning, Stephen, Good
morning nobody. And we got a Runo out of Sautilla, Mississippi.
Good morning, Runo.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Okay, good morning, hey all rise.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
David, there's run Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Run there.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Stephen of South Carolina. Hey, I have.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Everybody say hey.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Right, boys again and girls, two rounds thirty seconds each.
All right, let's see how we had a little here.
Randy held up reunite. That was a word we ended
on yesterday. That was I didn't wait on no, no,
y'all did okay here? Thank you? Rendy? All right, So Rna.
(21:31):
You relax. Let's see what me and Stephen can do
for the first thirty seconds. Are you read of Stephen?
I'm ready to rock, all right, buddy, starting to clock now.
In the shower, you wash your hair with tampoo. Uh huh.
If you have these, you're abdomen getting As a kid,
you'd have them all the time.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
You up?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, okay? A fork? Blank. It's a piece of equipment,
a fork to to heave something. Yeah, lift, okay, listen,
I want to tell you a what uh yes, uh huh.
These are little fish. They're salted in a can. You
get them? Had a bullet? All right?
Speaker 4 (22:15):
What we do?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Jackson? Put a five on the board. Good work, Steven.
So Rana and Tayter for your round one?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Okay, Rana?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Are you ready?
Speaker 7 (22:24):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Okay and go.
Speaker 7 (22:27):
If you die in the water, you've done what what
happened to you?
Speaker 8 (22:34):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (22:35):
Rhymes with it. This guy is in a circus. He
has like a red nose and is usually yes rhymes
with it. Not a smile, but a mile.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
No upside down smile. Is a what brown? Yes, rhymes
with it. The color the color of the stuff dirt
is this color.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Brown At the buzzer while Tayler was trying to get
turned out of her head. Right. Four on the board,
Stephen leeds five to four, going in around two. All right, Stephen,
are you ready? Let's rock Ah we go starting the o'clock. Now,
(23:25):
the opposite of up is the rhymes with it. Let's
go to up up? What the city? Let's go to?
Rhymes with it, Let's go go to what the city?
Where you live? And what with the last one? Uh,
(23:46):
won't you take me too funky? Yes? Rhymes with it.
A king wears this on his head. Yeah, rhymes with it.
A wedding bow you giving it? No? No'm wedding gown? Yeah, yeah,
that was say after the buzzer. There's a little deal
(24:09):
we have with the phone hurts so so many times.
What do we do? Eight on the board when we
look at it all over? Are you talking about the delay? Yes,
thank you did. I couldn't come up with the word delay.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
You're good at charread's.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Took with my hands. I'm not already made it in
the Hall of Fame. Yeah. You four will force overtime
and five will win it. All right, Okay, when new
were and.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
Go, you graduate from college and you have a blank
in science or a blank. Yes, I'm I'm blank. This
is my job. Take me blank. I'm not kidding around. Uh,
I'm not playing. I'm being blank. Yes, hey, stop blank.
(25:02):
You see this, it's a stop blank and you stop that.
You might feed this in water.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
You're indoor?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
What it's green?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Time?
Speaker 9 (25:12):
Up?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
You look up to it?
Speaker 5 (25:13):
Looked up to look up, holler.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And look up. We go to overtime. It is eight
day after two rounds. Yes, you did. It was a
little lad, it wasn't.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
All right.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Well, let's do a fifteen second overtime. Stephen, all right,
let's see what we can do in fifteen seconds. Oh no, man,
that's a hard one. Okay, all right, ready said that?
All turn this up? All right, Steven, here we go
fifteen seconds. Start the clock. Now, if you don't pass
(25:51):
a grade in school, you what? Yes? Uh huh? You
eat off of this a dinner? Blank on the table?
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Eat?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Yeah. Let's go to a trimple A A double A
we have. I was blamed that, John, I was blamed
the joke that went through my head in fifteen seconds
in the area. All right, what do we do? A
two on the board too, Well, let's see what happens here. Okay, Tayire,
(26:22):
you and Rono get too. We'll go to double over time.
All right, three will win? All right? Ready bigging up
on that last one, go tonight.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
There's a pta what.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Maybe yep?
Speaker 7 (26:36):
This is like this is a donkey and a horse.
They had one they make and they have one of these. Yeah,
you was it? You put this in your car? It
rhymes with that. No, but what's it called?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Y'all?
Speaker 1 (26:54):
To double over time? I love this.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Randy's arms are getting.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Sore that.
Speaker 9 (27:02):
Ah right.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, let's say, by the way, let me go back
to the meeting. While I'm thinking about it. I would
dry the alcohol a nominous anonymous. Anything you go to,
you have to go to these drip I drinking body
said they tried to go to one and they just
gave him a bunch of maps. And all right, so
(27:28):
let's say what happened. All right, Well, let's say what
we can do, Steven. Let's uh, let's use another fifteen
seconds right here, all right? Okay, right, and we're picking
up on that last one. You probably forgot all about it.
Well to see what we can do. Start the clock now.
Gasoline diesel is a title. Yes, uh, this is rhymes
(27:49):
with it the golden, follow the golden goose. No, it
rhymes with fuel, follow the golden did he say no? No, No,
he's still going rhymes with fuel. We got a one
(28:11):
on the board with a confused Stephen. So let's see
what happens with Tater goes. This is gonna end whether
we end in a tie or win. So Rana you ready, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
I have one blank you have to follow.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Runs with it a baby.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
This is spit just coming out of his mouth. It's
called what the baby?
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yes, drool for the win and so Stephen, Yeah, so
you get it now like rule rhyme d refuel. Yeah, hey, man,
was now going to win the double overtime. A good
(28:59):
game and you can try again anytime. I'll get jacket
to get you up down the road. All right, buddy,
you have a one our damon bags man. Alright, ron
I look at you want and then double overtime now, Bernie,
you can get whatever you want, baby, what you need? Okay, yeah, okay,
(29:26):
hang on, good morning, big shows on the radio. Yeah,
contact sport. Let's go to requested bit of the morning.
Brendall Miller out of Brunswick, Georgia. Randall says, I want
to recuess that school that teaches people to speak the
(29:46):
NASCAR guy wardburn All Ward speech in school. All right, Ran,
we'll get that for you coming up next. Good morning,
(30:17):
this big show on the radio and something you've heard before.
Light ahead again. This is the time we take your request.
But by this time only two Friday hit us up.
Don Won Miiller Facebook page and I was just talking
about what what is say about dog Pearl? Didn't not
do a little candle deal there, Taylor tay Heaven. I'm
(30:40):
sorry Randall Miller's request. Here go Randall, longtime big show
list rather Brunswick, Georgia. You're a natural race car driver.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
You've got the skills, you've got the car, You've even
got the team. There's only one missing piece of a
punk Geez said.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
It was tough out there. All that moter Gates was
raid in my bumper, But this year's Kurt was waking fast.
Speaker 6 (31:07):
And guys, yes, if you're gonna make it in racing,
you need a Southern accent. That's why you need the
Ward Burton speech in school. Whether you're a super dent
in California, a uper from the Upper Midwest or a
jumoke from Joyse. The Ward Burton speech in school can help.
Speaker 9 (31:29):
That's right, Chuck. In just twelve weeks off special high
in censive program, I have you shining like he was
born and raised in the heart of South Boston, Virginia,
just like me.
Speaker 6 (31:38):
The Ward Burton speech in school features daily classroom training
by the Master Ward Burton himself.
Speaker 9 (31:44):
Okay, class, repeat that to me. This Caterpillar crew did
just a soup a job Kyl was awesome all day long.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Here's student Joey Punazio before yo, uh, I want to
be a race card driver.
Speaker 6 (32:04):
And here's Joey after completing the Ward Burton program.
Speaker 9 (32:07):
I'm gonna tell you something right now, man thought there's
the first Martley Long Doggie. Now, don't let the wrong
accents screw up your racing career. Call me now at
one eight hundred five six seven nine four six seven.
That's one eight hundred cash gifts their sire the Lodos.
In just twelve short weeks, you'll be American by birth
(32:27):
and Southern by the grace of Ward.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
The war Burton speech in school.
Speaker 9 (32:32):
Don't delay call today. Operators are standing bye.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Good morning. There's a Big Shoan Radio Laura, a lot
of skids coming home. Mother Day, bother Day, Saint Patrick's
Day celebrated with a John Boyn Milley album. But us
come from Tank Hogarth at the bed box, keyword haircut.
Here is a great American. It is time for an
(33:26):
American minute with Tank Hogar.
Speaker 8 (33:29):
Hey, America, tank Hogarth, Here got a minute. You know,
every time I think the world is as screwed up
as it's ever gonna get, I noticed another block missing
in America's rapidly collapsing world. Jenga tower, another example of
how this hand basket the hell is getting full of
every damn day. I'll make this real easy on you.
(33:51):
Shut your pie hole and unplug your earbuds, and maybe,
just maybe some smarts'll seep into that fat head of years.
Trust me, it's a better use of your time than
doing your own thinking. I want to argue about it.
Here's a mirror. So there I was wading through the
wretched refuse of humanity, hit deep in layobouts and losers,
(34:14):
a solitary soul cast amongst the societal burdens and intellectually challenged.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
That's right.
Speaker 8 (34:21):
I was at the mall, not by choice had to
I was buying a new knife. Why, none of your
damn business.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
That's why.
Speaker 8 (34:35):
So I walk up to the clerk to pick up
my parcel and come face to face with a smug,
little millennial Dingleberry. And he was standing right under the
most pathetic new age haircut I'd ever seen, poopy in front,
shaved on the sides, and a little braided rat tail
in the back. What hell, I don't know. Maybe I'm
(35:01):
old fashioned, maybe I'm living in the past. Maybe my
generations just not with it. Man, hell, I still hold
the door for women, no matter how stupid and trashy
they are.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
But I'll tell you this much.
Speaker 8 (35:13):
If you're a grown ass man and you have to
go to a salon instead of a barber that gets
your hair cut, remind me to leave the seed up
for your princess. If the person cutting your hair is
a lot more Paul Lynn than Paul Newman, I'll bet
you've got share CDs in your Mini Cooper. If it
(35:33):
takes longer to cut your hair, then take a leak.
I'll bet your closet is full of lots and lots
of shoes. What the hell has happened to our haircuts America.
Cutting a haircut in America used.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
To be easy.
Speaker 8 (35:48):
You'd go down to the local barber shop. You'd buy
a coke for a nickel. You'd read Field and Stream
and Boy's Life. And when it was your turn, a
man cuts your hair. He told you stories about the
wars he fought, and the women he loved, and all
the comis that you shouldn't vote for in the next election.
He kept his comb and blew liquid and shaved your
(36:10):
face with a straight razor. And it costs you two
bits and ten minutes of your time. Today you have
to make an appointment two months in advance. They offer
you a cappuccino for ten bucks. The magazines are Alternative
Lifestyle and People. The person cutting your hair looks like
(36:31):
a man, but talks like a chick, and sometimes it's
the other way around. You have to guess whether you
address it as sir or man. And then they tell
you stories, stories about the reality shows they watch, which
Kardashian they hate, and all the Kamis they're voting for
(36:52):
in the next election. They have two hundred and fifty
different combes, all for different things, and they keep them
in a steam sterilizer because of the legion of disease
ridden yuppies. They service every damn day, and if you
have to take a squirt, well, there's an all gender
bathroom so you can avoid your bladder next to a
six foot five inch redhead named Bernard.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
That wants to.
Speaker 8 (37:16):
Talk ball scores while scoring your well, you get the picture.
All this for only one hundred and fifty bucks. Sorry
CHOCKI for that kind of mullah. I usually get a
haircut plus a hot oil massage from a busty Russian
woman whose name I can't pronounce with hands the size
of catcherments, plus a hand sandwich and the Joe DiMaggio
(37:39):
rookie card.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Yeah that really happened.
Speaker 8 (37:43):
Used to be only two kinds of haircuts in America,
parted on the left and parted on the right. If
you parted it down the middle, you were a geek
and shunned by society. Today, the sky's the limit mohawk,
fro hawk, mohawk. You can get design shaved into your head,
dyed pink, lacquered to look like gills, half shaved, half
(38:06):
permed like a Q tip on Chemo. Dear Sweet Baby
Jesus and Bear Bryant makes me miss the mullet and
the combover. You know, the good old days. Oh dear,
look at the time, I've overstayed my welcome once again.
Tough crap, and you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Until next time.
Speaker 8 (38:31):
This is tank Hoguard, Stop sucking America.
Speaker 6 (38:51):
Big Boxes Here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show Runny nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Buy them once, play them anywhere.
Speaker 6 (38:57):
You can shop the mid Box online right now at
the Big Show dot.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Com or a Big Show stuff I phone.
Speaker 6 (39:02):
The number is eight hundred four to seven one Stuff
Online services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
If you missed any of The Big Show this morning,
you can hear it all the John Borebilly Late Risers
podcast up next. Wait wherever you get your podcast, make
it easy. Subscribe to us with the free I Heart
Radio app. Love you mean It
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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