April 2, 2025 • 50 mins
Wednesday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Mad Max has had it with TV weather people… - Astronerd slips in through the emergency exit and delivers some leftover St. Patrick's Day jokes.. - B Ibach checks in with with another chance to grab a unique piece of sports memorabilia.. - Tank Hogarth will pontificate on the state of Hollywood movies… - We’ll check in with NASCAR legend Ray Evernham, about his effort to resurrect IROC Racing.. - Carl Childers tells the story of Little Red Riding Hood.. - and the Grumpy Old Man tells us why he hates social media…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, A lot more big show coming.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Up, John Boy Boe Big Show goes picky up, Matthew.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Oh, Marcel, you picked an awful time to call. Well,
listen to the radio. We're right in the middle of
a new intro.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
You boob.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
No, no, not, you're racing, fat boy, pull up a
couple of chairs to cut down.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
I gotta go make coffee for the boys so they
can go on making that audio magic non as the
John boy By Big Show.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Carry on straight, people.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
I can do the lou loving Adam. It is Wednesday, April.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
The tooth.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
I got like a bool of today.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
That was close, he warned us. He wasn't gonna use
all the words.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
There.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
It is this National Peanut, Butter and Jelly Day.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
But of jelly tie, panu, but of jelly time, Panu,
but of jelly time.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
All right, let's celebrate to the great taste of all
time between two pieces of white bread together with a
basball bet.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, yes, it is baseball season two. Let's love part
of a celebration.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, all right, you're right about the white bread doesn't
taste good on a hot fun don't work?
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Oh ride?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yeah, okay, was too long. The girls, get on your nerve?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Was that right?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (02:10):
We got three days history saved up. We get the
first prize bout and out and if I can, we're
gonna get the winning baghetti.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
All right, you're.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Trying big shows on the radio. Good morning, Big shows
on the radio. First prize pack. We got an assortment
of cool swag from World Lawn Moores. They're makers are
the best value zero turn Moores on the market. Features
a three year unlimited hours warning, Kawashawke engines and heavy
duty steel decks mowen Landscaping's best kept secret World Lawn.
(02:43):
Look for their link at the Big Show dot Com.
Listen up right here, We're gonna give you three days
in history. Were Goett Categories win that package? It was
nineteen seventy four Robert Opole street neck and across the
stage of the Academy Awards David Nivin, who was on stage,
ad lived just think, the only life that man will
(03:05):
probably ever get is full of stripping and showing his shortcomings.
Speaker 8 (03:11):
Close enough.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Twenty nineteen, he was saying, you know, twenty nineteen, NASA
states at Wilson sent astronauts to Mars. By twenty thirty three.
They want to land on the moon again in twenty
twenty four.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, I missed that one, but.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
Now we got like two other Now that rock actually
had been a couple of landings on the moon, is
that right?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Not manned okay, but robotics.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
Yeah, they had a really good one, a successful one,
just a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Oh right, good was twenty five?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:42):
So was this NASA's Maybe they won't burn anything down
for being successful.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Let's hope not for it was another private company. It
wasn't NASA.
Speaker 8 (03:51):
Uh huh.
Speaker 7 (03:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So you got Beaso, she got Elon If I got
another one? Oh yeah, Oh there's there's a bunch huh.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Ye gay that I was a record company. That's his name,
Virgin Records.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Oh yeah, the Virgin. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Ah, it's in my head. I can't find it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
You're not gonna welcome to our old world. I don't
like it. Alright, we got one more.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
It was twenty twenty one, April the second, and a
new study suggests the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs
sixty six million years ago created South America's tropical rainforest.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Okay, that's nice to know.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
You have ever been in one of those tropical rainforest
restaurant themes.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Oh yeah, it's really cool. They're they're like in Florida
and places where tourists because we like dudes on you
while it does, Yeah it does. And then you know
there's animals on all the walls. Mechanical and that's pretty sure.
Oh right, well if that's okay.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Sorry, just gave me.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
The other rocket company.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Well there's our categories in one eight hundred Big Cells,
your toll free line across America. We play out birds next,
(05:24):
Good morning, it's a big showing the radio for your Wednesday.
Ever second, our future track for the Big Show vent
box of grubby old man hates social media search. We
can give you word social media grummed up laugh at
the Big Show dot comy right now, Yes, yes, the one.
Speaker 9 (05:45):
Upburst.
Speaker 8 (05:46):
Let's play Upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
John Boys, Billy give the prizes from the big Prize.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Let's go contested number one. This should be a lot
of fun.
Speaker 8 (06:03):
You're playing outs.
Speaker 10 (06:06):
Have them Mary up and guest time you love the
best time.
Speaker 8 (06:09):
You have a big shot.
Speaker 11 (06:13):
Hey the Mike from Grier, South Carolina.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Hello, Hello Mike, Welcome in here. Buddy, you ready to
win this prize pack and get the day going.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
I'm gonna do my bed, John Boyn Well.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
We are rooting for you, buddy.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
In five seconds, give us three awards, ready.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Go Academy, Grammy, philipcher Mill. Now, Mike, give me three
planets ready to go, Mars, Jupiter, Oma, and for the wind.
Can you name three dinosaurs ready to go? Uh track, Uh,
(07:09):
Dinah and Barney. Yeah, you worry that except it's Dino.
We go the first names of the dinosaurs.
Speaker 12 (07:21):
I like it.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
Man.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Hey, Mike, you got the cool swag from world Lownmoors.
We'll get it to you down Greer.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
All that sounds great.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
All right, Barnie, hang on, all right, we jump out,
catch you up on your news on the other side,
talking about TV news, Mad Mike's going off.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Hang on, you want to hear.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
Good morning, and that's a big show on the radio.
Seven grade radio stations like w r C two, f
M one oh three point five. It's say Trail, North Carolina,
home Ford Bragg and I hate a second air boy,
you said, y'all's honor have you this morning?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Let's get this call good.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Morning, big show go on, had Max morny mix.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
How's it going you?
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I'm mattering frog hair split three ways? Wait, that's how.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Fine I anyway?
Speaker 4 (08:55):
All right, boys, listen up today. I want to have
a word of prior with the weather people on the
TV news. They've started doing something that really bugs me.
In a time, somebody called them out on it. Alright,
I'll be a hugglebart. When you watch the TV weather,
they're always showing off some hot new gadget or gizmo. Hey,
(09:18):
can you show you how heavy the rain is? You
can see where the lightning strikes are happening. Why they
can even show you what the radar is gonna look
like thirty minutes from now? All right, First of all,
I'm calling bulldooty on this radar from the future set.
I ain't no rocket sign. How does the radar know
(09:38):
where the clouds are gonna be in thirty minutes If
there ain't no clouds for the radar to bounce off of,
you now stupid that they.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Can't win off.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Everybody's all hot and bothered about fake news. Nobody says
boo about fake radar. But that's a minor nitpick compared
to what really fries my basons. How they present this
high tech weather report to us on TV. All right,
here's how it goes. The Ankerman throws it to Cloudy
(10:09):
talk face and the person alert storm team weather Center,
which is a guy standing in front of a great, big,
flat screen TV. He points at stuff on his TV
and tells you about it on yours. Now help me
out here. Why am I sitting in front of my
TV watching a guy that's on TV pointing stuff on
(10:31):
another TV. I mean, if the good stuff is on
the TV, he's pointing that. Why don't y'all just put
what's on his TV DET on my TV DET? In fact,
I don't need to see Cloudy talk Face on the
screen at all. The mediorologist is always a goofyish looking
goober on the whole action news pers teams. Why he
(10:53):
went to weather schools, to the modeling schools? Now, he
ain't paid to be pretty. He's paid in the If
it's gonna rain or not, I want to watch some
goofball stand in front of a TV and point. I'll
invite my brother in law over to watch the Bristol Race.
In other words, my big old pump and one more thing,
(11:15):
could y'all nerve rackers leave the extended forecast on the
screen long enough for a normal human being to read it,
because five seconds was plenty when the forecast only went
three days out, but now it goes ten days out.
Some of us need more than five seconds to sort
through a week and a half of highs and loads
(11:38):
and range hands. If you're gonna gather all this infolk,
how about giving us a chance to look at it.
And my wife says, I'm starting to sound like some
grumpy old fart down at the waffle house. Well, I'm grumpy,
I'm old, and I fired after I ate it the
waffle house. But if the first alert storm team would
(11:58):
just cheer down a little bit, we'd get along your
spine of courses. My daddy used to say, if ifs
and buts we're candy and nuts, we'd all have a
merry Christmas. I ain't asking for much. Just knock off
the future radar crap. Show me what's happening right now.
Put what's on your screen on my screen. Don't stand
(12:21):
in front of three days of the ten days court
and leave it up there, Plora, Then five second? Can
you do that? Good? And set out? Shut up and
quit running My life, y'all, boy, y'all, have a nice day.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Good morning. It is to make Shaw on the radio
coming up later this morning. Oh buddy rever and have.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
He made his bones creuch even for Jeff Gordon and
three championships.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Gush're going on here. It's the big auto fair going
on in Charlotta the speedway.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Gonna tell us about a race right outside the speedway.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
You can get to.
Speaker 5 (13:24):
This weekend, Harry cool, there is good something right then?
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Wait? Ready, all right, bring them in right there, Rabbis hit.
Speaker 8 (13:34):
That's all. That's all.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
That's all. That's all.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
That's all.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
That's all.
Speaker 8 (13:39):
That's all.
Speaker 10 (13:40):
You know, I have feelings too. All right, well let
me press on in spite of overwhelming opposition so far.
Good morning there, John Bark. I'm sure I say, mister
person Radici, Randy, Hey, Jack, you would never say nothing
like that to me, would you. That's right.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I just listen, sair hair.
Speaker 10 (14:01):
Y'all heard the phrase bats in the belfry right? Well,
we had the Blessed Hole Baptist churchmen having that very
Probably we have an actual family of bats. They've been
living up in the belfry. See Ronald the groundskeeper came
in to give a progress support. I told him flush
them bats out there right now. He said, well, I
didn't hear no luck. I grabbed the if that old
tom cat had been hanging around and locked him up
(14:23):
in the bell tower with all them bats. I said, well,
how to go? He said, not too good. Came back
next morning there's a little piece of cat hair all
over the floor. The cat was gone, but the bats
were still there. So I sent the hair deacon, ravend
Jones out to see if he could do something, but
the bats. He came back said well, I thought I
had it licked there. I got me a big net,
(14:43):
went up there and scooped all of them up. Then
I stuck him in a big sack and took him
way out in the woods and turned the b loose.
I said, m that's a good players out of work.
He said, not too good. They followed me when I
left the woods. Bats ended up getting back to the
church for idea. So finally I said, y'all nerve rack.
I kind of had the same reaction that you hear
when I can want here Joe, I said, y'all get out.
(15:04):
The way I handled this, I went up in the
town flushed all the bats out baptized over one of
them and put all their names on the membership role.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Sure enough, we ain't seen a one of them.
Speaker 10 (15:14):
Sings, Cat's closed next key, and I'm speaking of a
little bitty closer hair in the upstairs area, Lindsa grumens.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah he's google all right, back of that, ram Ti bar.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Chat y'all.
Speaker 13 (15:28):
Hey, let's talk about me y'all too, Paul. Yeah, I'm
something down, but I was poor growing up. Whole bull
eyes poor all eyes, dirt, poor ies, poor, I poor?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Please hell, Paul, was it?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Thanks basking?
Speaker 13 (15:42):
Well, if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have
nothing to play with.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Oh that much?
Speaker 13 (15:48):
Look with girls either? O you talking about bad love?
Girlfum with the other day said come on over, there's
nobody home. Well I went over, Sure enough, what nobody home?
The dirt sex. My girlfriend always wants to talk to me,
just the other die. She called me from a hotel.
One days I came home Berni from work. I saw
a guy jogging deckhead. I said, hey, buddy, why are
you doing that? He said, because you.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Came home early.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I always been a rough day too.
Speaker 8 (16:10):
I'll talk about that a minute.
Speaker 13 (16:12):
It's rough childhood. I's ugly as a kid. I know
as hard for you to flee, but don't why Okay, yeah,
I was ugly. When I played in the sandbox, the
cat kept covering me up. I could tell my parents
hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I sat an ugly baby. How I was an ugly baby?
Speaker 8 (16:30):
Whoo you look?
Speaker 13 (16:31):
I with my mother with my mother wouldn't breastfeed me.
My brother wonder to me. I said, thank you very much.
Mom says she's always she just liked me as a friend. Oh,
I'm so ugly. My father cares around the picture of
the kid who came with his wallet. And when I
was born, the doctor came out to the weight room,
said my daddy, I'm very sorry. We did everything we could,
(16:51):
but he pulled through. My mother had more than sickness
after I was born. I remember the time I was kid.
Have to set a pace of my finger to daddy.
He said he wanted more pro I went to the
pet shop when I was a teenager.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
People kept asking how big I give.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I wouldn't say.
Speaker 13 (17:09):
My doctor said doctor. Every morning I get up looking
the bear, I feel like throw it up. What's wrong
with me? He said, I don't know about your eyesight's perfect?
Speaker 10 (17:16):
Can I stop now? I'm afraid if I keep on playing
the drum, people gonna think I'm Pentecosta.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Wait wait out, good morning. You got the big show
on the radio. More chances for you to win coming
up after your.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
News, weather and sports.
Speaker 12 (17:33):
Hello, it's me Spanky, you know, mister personality from the
Yellow Rose. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. It's
not like they're paying me or anything. I can't even
get the redneck to pay his tab down a car.
But you can't help but love them, no matter how
nerve wracking they are. I don't even complain when they
(17:55):
make fun of my big head. I just wish John
Boy would give me back my memory, read foam pillow
and stop telling his kids that's where the comet hit.
Speaker 14 (18:37):
You.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
More than it's a big sean the radio.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
It is April to second, well, not too far past
from Saint Patrick's day. Give old stove one more shot
at some humor here. There's one thing you can't call
astro Nerd a quitter, and that's a real shame, because
we all wish you'd quit to us stand up comedy,
(19:00):
but he has to come back workshop some new material
from up upcoming gig. He's got it is that makes
me a gun for punishment. But dog on, he makes
me laugh here he is astro excuse me, joke nerd
mcwack of.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Whack of whack a boy, Yo, who's ready to mclaugh?
Speaker 4 (19:21):
There?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You got a gig for Saint Patrick's day.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I laddie, it's the look of the Irish?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Are you Irish?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Irish?
Speaker 10 (19:28):
I was.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Irich log See that's.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
The start of clever wordplay.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
I'm busting out this Saturday for the Irish American League,
but I always like to test out my stick on you.
Laughs and lasses, just in case. It's like the Irish say,
don't iron your four leaf clover. You don't want to
press your luck?
Speaker 7 (19:50):
Alight?
Speaker 5 (19:51):
They gonna aren't They gonna want somebody who's actually Irish?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Does it matter? I mean, come on on with Don
Rickles Jewish.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Yes, let's get on with the show.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Faith and Gomora's Faith and Begora. Gomorra was like from
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
She was green, was the she boom roasted.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Let's get this over with, ladies and gentlemen. Here's joke, nerd.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Thank you, thank you. You have no taste.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
I say that if they applaud So what do you
say if they don't?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Knock?
Speaker 7 (20:29):
Knock?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Who's there?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Irish?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
You?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Irish?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Skew?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Who I rescue in the name of the law? Boom roasted?
Knock knock? Warren?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Warren? Who worring?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Anything green? For Saint Patrick's Day?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Are they all knock knock jokes?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Knock knock? No, Hey, Tater, do everyone a favor and
go Aaron, go Brawlis I like to start with a
boob joke? She knows what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Hey, all you single booze bags out there, did you
know that Saint Patrick's Day is a great time to
get lucky? And I've got some great pickup lines for you?
Happy Saint Patrick's Day. I'm about to make you say,
oh yes.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Oh, apostrophe has like O'Shaughnessy kiss me, I'm part Irish.
Want to know which parts.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Hot cha chaw.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Hey good looking? I'm gonna shamrock your world tonight.
Speaker 8 (21:44):
That's the end of that.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Two Irish couples go get pretty drunk on Saint Patrick's
Day and decide to swing partners for the night.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
The next morning, Patty says to Mike, I wonder how
the girls are getting on.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Every dent the hell ring a dang dang.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
An Irish farmer is walking across the field carrying two sheep.
His neighbor says, hey, Patty, are you gonna share those sheep?
Patty says, no, they're both for me. See sheer sounds
like Sharon and Irish savage. But I can't do the eggs.
Speaker 8 (22:19):
I'm no tater.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
So are you gonna stop and explain the jokes during
your gig?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
No, I've got some handouts printed.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Well, unlesseners don't have that, so let's wrap it up.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Okay, hold up, here's a good one. You're about the
irishman born with two left feet. In the summertime, he
wore flip flips.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Beat, I've had one.
Speaker 8 (22:51):
You can tell it to Beat.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
I had an Irish friend who was bulletproof. His name
was rick O'shay, how much do you charge the set
in the back row? I had a leper count for
a roommate. Once had to kick him out when the
rent was due. He was always a little short.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Nothing on that one.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
So do you have anything edgy.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
You asked for it.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Patty meets Sean at the tavern and says, oh, laddie,
I met the most wonderful woman last night. I find
her out by the railroad tracks. I took her home
and made whoopee for hours. Sean says, ay, that's a
spot of luck.
Speaker 12 (23:32):
That is.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
What does she look like?
Speaker 8 (23:34):
Patty says, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I couldn't find her head. Hello, edgy.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Oh that's a little too edgy there, nerd, But better
luck next time.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait one last one.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
There's these two Irish guys working for the city council.
They're out along the road. One would dig a hole
and the other fellow would come along behind him and
fill it in. They went up one street and down
the other side. They worked all day without stop. Up
an old pensioner was watching them with great curiosity. He
couldn't figure out what they were doing, so we went
up and asked, and one of the lamps said, well,
(24:08):
I'm sure it does look a wee bit odd, but
normally they are a three man team.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Because the guy would take the hole.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
And the missing guy would put the tree on the
other guy covered up.
Speaker 8 (24:22):
It's all in the print out.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Some bitches.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Here's a good I was saying for you. Don't let
the exit door hit you. Where the good lord? Splitch you?
Who's got a pen?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
That's the key joke.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Nerd out Yo, Good morning, Big Shows on the radio.
Coming up, we play John boyd Jemeny if a Happy
Herd prize by keep on the happy Heard banner click
click at the Big Show dot Com inter go JBB.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
You'll get tempersent off a check out and hang on
win it in minutes. Right now.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
We promise you Bob Ibog has got something that you
War Eagles fans won't I want to know about.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
And here, good morning, Bob.
Speaker 7 (25:02):
Hey, John Boy, good to hear from me. And I'll
tell you what. Not only do we have something for
the Auburn fans, but I know you've got some Gator
fans that listen to your show along with the syndicated network,
and we have something for both schools. And you know
they're doing something I think special out in San Antonio
this weekend. Yeah, and that the Big Tournament is going
(25:26):
to be out there. They're down the final four teams.
And we've got something really, really cool. These are basketballs
that salute each of the schools. One will be for
the Florida Gators and the other one will be for
the Auburn Tigers. They're full size, they're limited edition. Only
five thousand will be made of each school, and you'll
(25:46):
get all kind of cool things embossed on various panels
of the basketballs. Now, these are full size basketballs. I
got a chance to see a prototype. They are gorgeous looking.
Everything is in boss so it'll keep it pristine looking
for years to come. We're calling it a season to
Remember on a part of the logo there for both schools.
(26:07):
I mean, Auburn comes into the tournament this weekend and
they have a record of I think thirty two and five,
and then you go ahead and you look at Florida
and they've got a record of thirty two and four.
So that matchup is going to be magical and people
want to remember how they got there. I know Florida
(26:27):
fans remember the back to back titles they won in
two thousand and six and two thousand and seven. Auburn's
never won the national championship, so there are only two
wins away from getting it done. You'll get on one
of the panels of the ball, whether it's Auburn or Florida,
you'll get a replay of every game played by the
(26:48):
Tigers or the Gators. They'll have all the opponents, the dates,
and scores. You'll be able to remember how they got
out to the last four teams remaining, and whoever wins,
whether it's Auburn or Florida, and if they go on
to win the national championship. Will also put national champions
(27:09):
on this basketball. So when you order these, you'll get
the final version of it, and you'll have logos on there,
whether they be the Auburn logo or the Florida logo,
you'll have those that really stand out. Like I mentioned,
one of the panels lists all the scores of every
game played by these respective teams. So Gator fans, Tiger fans,
(27:31):
listen up. Here's how you can go ahead and order these.
These will sell out. There are one hundred and forty
nine dollars and ninety five cents each. Only five thousand
of each basketball will ever be produced. The tot free
number to call is one eight hundred three four, five,
two eight, six eight that's one eight hundred three four
(27:53):
five twenty eight sixty eight. Or just go to the
website nicosports dot com. It's spelled nikcosports dot com. That's
nikcosports dot com. When you go there, you can also
download a special gift certificate with a picture of the
(28:13):
basketball and then keep it and you know that this
will be sent to that person in about six to
eight weeks, so you can use it for a Mother's
Day gift idea, certainly for Dad. All your fans, you
want to do something nice for Dad this year, get
them one of those basketballs. And again they're only one
(28:33):
five limited, so don't delay. These will sell out very
very quickly. They do every years.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Go ahead, jump on it.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Before the final four this Saturday, Auburn will play Florida.
Somebody's going to hit the championship game. Bob, there's a
chance for a national champion in the SAC. I know
I was excited about that.
Speaker 7 (28:55):
Well, I tell you what. In my pool this year
I picked. I had two pools at Florida winning the
national title in one and Auburn winning the national title
in the other.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
So I can't lose.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
You are said, I got Florida in my only pool.
So we'll see what happens with that, Bob, and we
got to set up at the Big Show dot Com.
All our listeners can go right there and click on
the Niko Sports banner. All right, buddy, let's see what happens.
We'll catch up in a little bit.
Speaker 7 (29:21):
We'll do it.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You take care of all right, Bob, Thank you, buddy.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Joe.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Click on the Niko Sports banner at the Big Show
dot Com and I'll take you right there. Ah dd Well,
let's play I John Boyjepardy review yesterday's question, the ape
and right, the mudflap, the Camaro cut, the Kentucky Waterfall,
all names that barbers and beauticians have given to this
popular hairstyle.
Speaker 12 (29:44):
It is the mullet.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
The mullet, Yeah, that's for youngins. I got the scullet.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
Wow, okay, look at you Today's John Boy Jeopardy. The
Dunlop Tire Company was the first in the world to
make tires using this.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Is what is sweat and tears?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
No, when we still heard you going on, what's your gouy?
Speaker 4 (30:08):
What?
Speaker 7 (30:09):
No?
Speaker 4 (30:09):
I like it? What?
Speaker 5 (30:10):
But no?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
What ain't hundred big shows?
Speaker 7 (30:12):
You don't?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Right line, we go to we get the winner. We
play John Boy Jeopardy next. Good morning. That's a big
(30:42):
show on AL Radio.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
We're humming through your hum day Wednesday, Avery. Second feature
track from The Big Show bit boxing, rob me old
man hate social Media? See how much search for keywords
social media? Hit the bit box at the Big Show
dot com here right now, that's yes live across America.
Speaker 6 (31:03):
It's John Boy Jeopardy and now a man who says
the only thing he knows about tires is they ain't
pretty and they don't smell good. And nobody has ever
ever said, Hey, I want to come out and take
a look at my new tires.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
He's John Boy. I back out.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
You got another?
Speaker 1 (31:21):
You got another bend? I heard that? Ye wonder what
calls is?
Speaker 5 (31:26):
Let's say hey the Kelsey out of Wheeling, West Virginia.
Good morning, Kelsey.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Hello, how are you?
Speaker 11 (31:33):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (31:33):
We're all good, welcome in here? All right?
Speaker 5 (31:36):
Guess you got first shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning.
The Dunlop Tire Company was the first in the world
to make tires using this.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Inflatable rubber.
Speaker 13 (31:53):
Inflatable rubber tire, inflatable rubber.
Speaker 5 (31:58):
Let's see lovely, causey you went around there and stumbled on.
The correct answer is air, but that takes care of
it with the Inflata old tire.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
There were rubber tires that were solid rubber prior. So
never mind, Kelsey doesn't she got it? Okay? All right, Kelsey? Perfect?
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Hell a good job. We keep talking to Randy. He'll
talk you out of it. So you hang right on now, baby,
graduate last.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Tonight, am I able to give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Well, let's find out. Yes, of course, Baby, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Hey Dad, I'm proud of you. You beat cancer's eyes.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
I'm so happy.
Speaker 5 (32:46):
Awesome Kelsey, Right, Baby, gets your dad for us and
you hang on. Jackie hook up with the prize pack.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Thank you, sir?
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Why how many words? Hopo you news on the other side?
How about that time capsule wall home day? Lad? What's this?
Speaker 9 (33:39):
Is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports.
Speaker 15 (33:54):
Jane's got tatooo's on her backside and a car jacked
about front. My neighbor next door is an own road horror,
and she's on faun a hustland and spends her days
in the laundrom at, washing and drying.
Speaker 8 (34:10):
Two tops.
Speaker 15 (34:11):
Good night were crazy about my old lady, but I
don't really think I'd swap spends her night send a
strip joy doing an exotic dance in a night a day,
pair of platform shoes and worn out spending next pants.
Her kids still live with her mother and her stepbrother
who's on employee drowsing Old Shark Truce.
Speaker 9 (34:35):
Pinole and sleeps with a dude named Floyd.
Speaker 15 (34:38):
And she's a trailer park form and she's a the
mole ba home princess.
Speaker 16 (34:44):
She's the queen of manufactured house. She's a trail of
park woman. She's a mob bahome princess.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
And me off the trailer parking.
Speaker 8 (35:01):
She's got a bad reputation.
Speaker 15 (35:04):
She's the talk of the neighborhood.
Speaker 9 (35:07):
Him maybe her place Saint.
Speaker 15 (35:08):
Graceland, but the furniture syst as good. I often stir
in her window when she's getting dressed inside, but she
don't mind. She looks up to me because I own
the double why a concrete rock foundation, and it impresses
(35:30):
her soul.
Speaker 9 (35:32):
She always causes a knocking. No one ever, there's a
tournade old and she's a trailer.
Speaker 15 (35:38):
Park wall and she's all my home princess.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Everybody's a quite the manufactured.
Speaker 17 (35:45):
I don't know who'says she's a trail of barn woman,
She's a mo my home, Princess and me trailer parking.
Speaker 9 (36:02):
John Boy and Billy. Good morning radio, dumb.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Right, good morning, big shows on the radio.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Here we go, right now, It's time for an American
minute with Tank Holgar.
Speaker 14 (36:46):
Thanks Redd, Hey America, Tank holgarth here got a minute
too bad?
Speaker 8 (36:51):
Make time.
Speaker 14 (36:53):
Put down your smartphone and dummy up. I'm gonna lay
some food for thought on you. And if you're anything
like the drooling human fungus that runs wild in this
once glorious republic, your noggin has a bad case of malnutrition.
Tell the whole flipping country as brain starving for a
heap and helping of common sense. Well, guess what, Einstein
and Luck, I'm the by god golden Corral of wisdom.
(37:17):
So grab an extra plate or two and a nice
big ice cold glass to shut your doughnut, drain and
digest this table for one. Find it yourself. I'm not
your mother. My day was teed up to be a
real special occasion special because I'm too cheap to do
it very often. And no I'm not talking about a hooker,
But in hindsight it would probably have been a better
(37:38):
investment and a whole lot cheaper, both financially and morally.
The worst that can happen with a hooker can be
fixed with penicillin, calamine lotion, and a few hours of
doctor Phil. But what I went through is left me
with night terrors, chronic nausea, and the uncontrollable urge to
slam my junk in a car door. Of course, I'm
(37:58):
talking about it. Going to the movies. You know, in
the good old days, entertainment did what he was supposed
to do, entertained. When you went to the movies, you
knew what to expect. You cheered the hero and booed
the villain. The dog lived, the boy got the girl,
and the one constant in every last flickering frame of
(38:19):
spectacular celluloid was an unflinching and wavering, unashamed love of
God and country. Today, the bad guy is the good guy,
the dog is now a cat. The boy still gets
the girl, but you find out she used to be
a boy, and the boy digs it. And worst of all,
Hollywood's kicked God to the curb and got rid of
(38:40):
the white and blue, and now they're just playing Godless Red.
Speaker 8 (38:44):
I don't know. Maybe I'm a.
Speaker 14 (38:45):
Black and white guy in a technicallor world. Maybe I
believe in happy ending someplace other than the massage parlor.
Speaker 8 (38:51):
Maybe, just maybe I'm living in the past.
Speaker 14 (38:54):
You know, a past where tickets were cheap, you didn't
have to take out a second mortgage to buy popcorn,
and when you took your dear, sweet sainted mother to
see Gene Kelly, you sure as hell didn't have to
worry about him cussing a blue streak, spitting on the
American flag, or making out with Danny Kay, at least
not on screen, despite what you might have heard from
some people who were there.
Speaker 8 (39:14):
But they're all dead now, So what the hell are
you gonna do about it?
Speaker 14 (39:17):
Shake my head? What the hell have you done to
our movies America? Personally, I blamed Joe McCarthy. He had
his chance to get the Red Menace out of Hollywood.
He rounded up that Comi trash and gave the pinkos
their pink slips, but he didn't finish the job. All
the turds were right there in the bowl, and he
(39:39):
was one flush short of a phill.
Speaker 8 (39:41):
Septic tag.
Speaker 14 (39:42):
Fast forward forty years and now look the historically American
institution of Hollywood, his own lock stock and both barrels
by communist China. Now, how do you feel about ho
Chi mini mouse? Comrade? You like being lectured too by
millionaire propaganda pimps, saying you're stupid because of who you
vote for, all the while running hard to the hoop
(40:05):
on behalf of a crooked old boozehound dressed as an oven.
Myth that some pretty boy actor flies his hairstylists across
country on a private jet so he looks good on
camera when he tells you you're destroying the planet because
you drive a truck to work, dare to have more
than one.
Speaker 8 (40:20):
Kid, and you eat bacon.
Speaker 14 (40:23):
When Americans ran Hollywood, actors were men and actresses were women.
Speaker 8 (40:27):
Now you can't tell them apart.
Speaker 14 (40:29):
Girls got crew cuts, Guys got a man bun in
both sides are flat chested. I grew up watching real
men like Jimmy Stewart, James Cagney, and John Wayne. When
war broke out, the biggest stars in Tinseltown suited up
to fight tojo the hun Hitler and whoever else dared
kick dirt in the face of Lady Liberty. Hollywood was
pro America, baby, They started the USO, They sold war
(40:54):
bonds on their own diamond, their own time, and they
put their hand over their heart when they said the
pledge of a li agents. Now, the warriors they support
aren't the great American military kind. They're the social justice kind.
And the only place they put their hand is in
your pocket to steal your hard earned dollar to make
sure some third world dirt worshiper votes for their side.
(41:18):
In return, you're forced to watch their wicked kamie agenda
dressed up like windbreaking emojis, foul mouth superheroes and cowboys
that don't ride horses.
Speaker 8 (41:29):
What the hell?
Speaker 14 (41:34):
Well, well, look at the time, I've overstayed my welcome.
But you know what they say, toff crap, you're welcome.
This is tank hole garth, stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
Good day.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
You're old pal Steve here, No, not the former idiot intern,
the crocodile Stalker, and you're listening to my two favorite
bonds of mates, John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
I'll tell you it's nice to be high and dry
and safe and sound in this Knacker studio. Hey, what's
this wire for you?
Speaker 5 (43:04):
The more the big shows on the radio, Carl will
come in here talking about my aunt Dura.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
I said, did that yesterday?
Speaker 4 (43:10):
I said, now?
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Wrong one? All right, So here we go. Looks like
we got a special story time.
Speaker 9 (43:19):
And now it's story time with your host, Carl.
Speaker 12 (43:24):
Children got to remember to push that button, little feller.
I ain't figured out why folks are so interested in
the fellas that move around the big show hair with
John Boy and Billy and them. Now they're plumbing up
with something.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Called the entourage.
Speaker 12 (43:44):
I'd some fellas that Randy says fights for a seat
on John Boy's coat tails. I never seen John Boy
wear coats, let alone one with a tail on it.
I reckon I'd have me pretty beggings to hold some
of them, folks. They're all pretty good fellas. Seemed to
me like that old Bradshaw. He's sort of busy body,
(44:08):
always wanted to know where everybody's going. Later on, I
reckon that because he had some time on his hands
here lately. Bro While there he's busy as a beaver
trying to keep up with his girlfriend. She wandered off
Summer's first fail. Well, sir, I figured that's what he
gets for having Wonder Woman for a sweetheart. Seems to
(44:30):
make sense. She'd run off time to time, fight them
bad fellas and space boogers and whatnot. Keeping up with
her a lot of work for a feller, what ain't
super got a passle of invisible cars, boats and whatnot.
It's hard to keep up with not being able to
(44:53):
see him in all. Half a time, he never knowed
he's a talking to because she kept having to change
her secret identity around. I knowed one time she's some
foreign beauty queen, all that superhero, and she's a doing
kindly rubbed off on old Bradshaw, though I hate now,
for he can fall off a roof not even get hurt.
(45:18):
He ain't get in a scuffle at the drop of
a hat fighting for that truth, just as in the
American way. As such, he plumb whooped the tar ont
of some man old Muslims and used to frying pant
on some fella at Walmart. The way I heard it,
we wonder Woman there. She even made him join the circus.
(45:40):
Good John boy told me she had him a jumping
through hoops, heard another little fella by a little billy,
or where in fact he is. Sometimes he even pretends
to be billy when Billy don't want to have nothing
to do with Yon Boy's foolishness, or if it ain't
(46:03):
no money involved, Yon Boy calls him a little buddy.
His real name is Henry Cato. Not that fella what
works with a green hornage, But I reckon he's still
a hero to some folks, especially all them big girls.
He likes him so much. M he even opened a
(46:25):
store with his name on it so that big gals
have something rather nice to work for.
Speaker 8 (46:29):
All the chief.
Speaker 12 (46:32):
Little Henry just got married up with this old blonde
girl he's been leading on for a good many years.
I guess them a little bit he legs of his
He just plumb got tired of running. Or could be
he just lazy. He's the only fella I know that
plays some sort of golf riding around on a horse.
(46:58):
I think he's the only fella that got the nerve
to tell John Boy when he's gone too far. He's
always saying, what you go too far, firm, But you
go too far? Of course, by then he's too late,
But at least he tells him. And there's mister Spanky.
(47:21):
I like the way he talks. He got him a
big old head, that's for sure. John Boyce says, in
them ain't um brothers out there on the patio, he says,
them Spanky's hats hanging out to drive mister Spanky run
this Yellow Rose place. There must be a pool around there, Summers.
(47:42):
I never seed it because Randy says it's a regular dive.
I reckon it's John Boy's favorite hangout. Listen, he wants
some brother that's good to eat. Then he gets mister
Spanky to drive him Summers nice. He even lets him
(48:03):
pick up a tab so he feels like he ain't intrude.
And John Boyce says, that's our friends do one another.
Little Feller Belly said, mister Spanky's one of them personality
bar keeps. I just think he cares a good bit
about folks. He's always asking me how long A doctor
tells me I gotta wear these shoes for. I don't
(48:27):
have a heart to tell him they just regular shoes.
I'll admit he's a little hard on some folks. I
reckon that's on account of his sacred I think I'm
the only one to figure it out. He's always asking
folks to come in iff in the gay bars his clothes.
(48:49):
He asked that a lot. Wonder why he wants to
know that all the time. Seems to mind funny to me.
Not funny, ha ha funny, But mister spank can give
me free French fries. I reckon you keep it Timoseale anyway,
who'd believe something like it? I'm an other than him
(49:12):
and his girlfriend. Branch over there, y'all keep at.
Speaker 7 (49:17):
You seal the end.
Speaker 5 (49:23):
Story Time with Carl Childers is brought to you by
Hargraves potted meat product chock full of peckers and lips
since nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 12 (49:31):
Hello tller, what time do the gay bark here?
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Good morning, big shows on the radio. Hang on, I
have been hauling ontourage. I think you are making fun
of me. I'm gonna listen carefully out here.
Speaker 5 (49:46):
We have a listener letter coming in hot First, tell
you about the prize pack you can win if you
play Beat the Blonde with Us is an LS tractor
prize pack. It includes cool hat, stainless steel insulated tumbler, key,
chaine go to hell Tractor USA dot com, find your
local dealer customers, Start blue and stay blue.
Good morning, A lot more big show coming.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Up, John Boy Boe Big Show goes picky up, Matthew.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Oh, Marcel, you picked an awful time to call. Well,
listen to the radio. We're right in the middle of
a new intro.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
You boob.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
No, no, not, you're racing, fat boy, pull up a
couple of chairs to cut down.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Listen.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
I gotta go make coffee for the boys so they
can go on making that audio magic non as the
John boy By Big Show.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Carry on straight, people.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
I can do the lou loving Adam. It is Wednesday, April.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
The tooth.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
I got like a bool of today.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
That was close, he warned us. He wasn't gonna use
all the words.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
There.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
It is this National Peanut, Butter and Jelly Day.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
But of jelly tie, panu, but of jelly time, Panu,
but of jelly time.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
All right, let's celebrate to the great taste of all
time between two pieces of white bread together with a
basball bet.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, yes, it is baseball season two. Let's love part
of a celebration.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, all right, you're right about the white bread doesn't
taste good on a hot fun don't work?
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Oh ride?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yeah, okay, was too long. The girls, get on your nerve?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Was that right?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (02:10):
We got three days history saved up. We get the
first prize bout and out and if I can, we're
gonna get the winning baghetti.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
All right, you're.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Trying big shows on the radio. Good morning, Big shows
on the radio. First prize pack. We got an assortment
of cool swag from World Lawn Moores. They're makers are
the best value zero turn Moores on the market. Features
a three year unlimited hours warning, Kawashawke engines and heavy
duty steel decks mowen Landscaping's best kept secret World Lawn.
(02:43):
Look for their link at the Big Show dot Com.
Listen up right here, We're gonna give you three days
in history. Were Goett Categories win that package? It was
nineteen seventy four Robert Opole street neck and across the
stage of the Academy Awards David Nivin, who was on stage,
ad lived just think, the only life that man will
(03:05):
probably ever get is full of stripping and showing his shortcomings.
Speaker 8 (03:11):
Close enough.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Twenty nineteen, he was saying, you know, twenty nineteen, NASA
states at Wilson sent astronauts to Mars. By twenty thirty three.
They want to land on the moon again in twenty
twenty four.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, I missed that one, but.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
Now we got like two other Now that rock actually
had been a couple of landings on the moon, is
that right?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Not manned okay, but robotics.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
Yeah, they had a really good one, a successful one,
just a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Oh right, good was twenty five?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:42):
So was this NASA's Maybe they won't burn anything down
for being successful.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Let's hope not for it was another private company. It
wasn't NASA.
Speaker 8 (03:51):
Uh huh.
Speaker 7 (03:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So you got Beaso, she got Elon If I got
another one? Oh yeah, Oh there's there's a bunch huh.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Ye gay that I was a record company. That's his name,
Virgin Records.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Oh yeah, the Virgin. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Ah, it's in my head. I can't find it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
You're not gonna welcome to our old world. I don't
like it. Alright, we got one more.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
It was twenty twenty one, April the second, and a
new study suggests the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs
sixty six million years ago created South America's tropical rainforest.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Okay, that's nice to know.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
You have ever been in one of those tropical rainforest
restaurant themes.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Oh yeah, it's really cool. They're they're like in Florida
and places where tourists because we like dudes on you
while it does, Yeah it does. And then you know
there's animals on all the walls. Mechanical and that's pretty sure.
Oh right, well if that's okay.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Sorry, just gave me.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
The other rocket company.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Well there's our categories in one eight hundred Big Cells,
your toll free line across America. We play out birds next,
(05:24):
Good morning, it's a big showing the radio for your Wednesday.
Ever second, our future track for the Big Show vent
box of grubby old man hates social media search. We
can give you word social media grummed up laugh at
the Big Show dot comy right now, Yes, yes, the one.
Speaker 9 (05:45):
Upburst.
Speaker 8 (05:46):
Let's play Upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
John Boys, Billy give the prizes from the big Prize.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Let's go contested number one. This should be a lot
of fun.
Speaker 8 (06:03):
You're playing outs.
Speaker 10 (06:06):
Have them Mary up and guest time you love the
best time.
Speaker 8 (06:09):
You have a big shot.
Speaker 11 (06:13):
Hey the Mike from Grier, South Carolina.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Hello, Hello Mike, Welcome in here. Buddy, you ready to
win this prize pack and get the day going.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
I'm gonna do my bed, John Boyn Well.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
We are rooting for you, buddy.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
In five seconds, give us three awards, ready.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Go Academy, Grammy, philipcher Mill. Now, Mike, give me three
planets ready to go, Mars, Jupiter, Oma, and for the wind.
Can you name three dinosaurs ready to go? Uh track, Uh,
(07:09):
Dinah and Barney. Yeah, you worry that except it's Dino.
We go the first names of the dinosaurs.
Speaker 12 (07:21):
I like it.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
Man.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Hey, Mike, you got the cool swag from world Lownmoors.
We'll get it to you down Greer.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
All that sounds great.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
All right, Barnie, hang on, all right, we jump out,
catch you up on your news on the other side,
talking about TV news, Mad Mike's going off.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Hang on, you want to hear.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
Good morning, and that's a big show on the radio.
Seven grade radio stations like w r C two, f
M one oh three point five. It's say Trail, North Carolina,
home Ford Bragg and I hate a second air boy,
you said, y'all's honor have you this morning?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Let's get this call good.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Morning, big show go on, had Max morny mix.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
How's it going you?
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I'm mattering frog hair split three ways? Wait, that's how.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Fine I anyway?
Speaker 4 (08:55):
All right, boys, listen up today. I want to have
a word of prior with the weather people on the
TV news. They've started doing something that really bugs me.
In a time, somebody called them out on it. Alright,
I'll be a hugglebart. When you watch the TV weather,
they're always showing off some hot new gadget or gizmo. Hey,
(09:18):
can you show you how heavy the rain is? You
can see where the lightning strikes are happening. Why they
can even show you what the radar is gonna look
like thirty minutes from now? All right, First of all,
I'm calling bulldooty on this radar from the future set.
I ain't no rocket sign. How does the radar know
(09:38):
where the clouds are gonna be in thirty minutes If
there ain't no clouds for the radar to bounce off of,
you now stupid that they.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Can't win off.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Everybody's all hot and bothered about fake news. Nobody says
boo about fake radar. But that's a minor nitpick compared
to what really fries my basons. How they present this
high tech weather report to us on TV. All right,
here's how it goes. The Ankerman throws it to Cloudy
(10:09):
talk face and the person alert storm team weather Center,
which is a guy standing in front of a great, big,
flat screen TV. He points at stuff on his TV
and tells you about it on yours. Now help me
out here. Why am I sitting in front of my
TV watching a guy that's on TV pointing stuff on
(10:31):
another TV. I mean, if the good stuff is on
the TV, he's pointing that. Why don't y'all just put
what's on his TV DET on my TV DET? In fact,
I don't need to see Cloudy talk Face on the
screen at all. The mediorologist is always a goofyish looking
goober on the whole action news pers teams. Why he
(10:53):
went to weather schools, to the modeling schools? Now, he
ain't paid to be pretty. He's paid in the If
it's gonna rain or not, I want to watch some
goofball stand in front of a TV and point. I'll
invite my brother in law over to watch the Bristol Race.
In other words, my big old pump and one more thing,
(11:15):
could y'all nerve rackers leave the extended forecast on the
screen long enough for a normal human being to read it,
because five seconds was plenty when the forecast only went
three days out, but now it goes ten days out.
Some of us need more than five seconds to sort
through a week and a half of highs and loads
(11:38):
and range hands. If you're gonna gather all this infolk,
how about giving us a chance to look at it.
And my wife says, I'm starting to sound like some
grumpy old fart down at the waffle house. Well, I'm grumpy,
I'm old, and I fired after I ate it the
waffle house. But if the first alert storm team would
(11:58):
just cheer down a little bit, we'd get along your
spine of courses. My daddy used to say, if ifs
and buts we're candy and nuts, we'd all have a
merry Christmas. I ain't asking for much. Just knock off
the future radar crap. Show me what's happening right now.
Put what's on your screen on my screen. Don't stand
(12:21):
in front of three days of the ten days court
and leave it up there, Plora, Then five second? Can
you do that? Good? And set out? Shut up and
quit running My life, y'all, boy, y'all, have a nice day.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Good morning. It is to make Shaw on the radio
coming up later this morning. Oh buddy rever and have.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
He made his bones creuch even for Jeff Gordon and
three championships.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Gush're going on here. It's the big auto fair going
on in Charlotta the speedway.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Gonna tell us about a race right outside the speedway.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
You can get to.
Speaker 5 (13:24):
This weekend, Harry cool, there is good something right then?
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Wait? Ready, all right, bring them in right there, Rabbis hit.
Speaker 8 (13:34):
That's all. That's all.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
That's all. That's all.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
That's all.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
That's all.
Speaker 8 (13:39):
That's all.
Speaker 10 (13:40):
You know, I have feelings too. All right, well let
me press on in spite of overwhelming opposition so far.
Good morning there, John Bark. I'm sure I say, mister
person Radici, Randy, Hey, Jack, you would never say nothing
like that to me, would you. That's right.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I just listen, sair hair.
Speaker 10 (14:01):
Y'all heard the phrase bats in the belfry right? Well,
we had the Blessed Hole Baptist churchmen having that very
Probably we have an actual family of bats. They've been
living up in the belfry. See Ronald the groundskeeper came
in to give a progress support. I told him flush
them bats out there right now. He said, well, I
didn't hear no luck. I grabbed the if that old
tom cat had been hanging around and locked him up
(14:23):
in the bell tower with all them bats. I said, well,
how to go? He said, not too good. Came back
next morning there's a little piece of cat hair all
over the floor. The cat was gone, but the bats
were still there. So I sent the hair deacon, ravend
Jones out to see if he could do something, but
the bats. He came back said well, I thought I
had it licked there. I got me a big net,
(14:43):
went up there and scooped all of them up. Then
I stuck him in a big sack and took him
way out in the woods and turned the b loose.
I said, m that's a good players out of work.
He said, not too good. They followed me when I
left the woods. Bats ended up getting back to the
church for idea. So finally I said, y'all nerve rack.
I kind of had the same reaction that you hear
when I can want here Joe, I said, y'all get out.
(15:04):
The way I handled this, I went up in the
town flushed all the bats out baptized over one of
them and put all their names on the membership role.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Sure enough, we ain't seen a one of them.
Speaker 10 (15:14):
Sings, Cat's closed next key, and I'm speaking of a
little bitty closer hair in the upstairs area, Lindsa grumens.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah he's google all right, back of that, ram Ti bar.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Chat y'all.
Speaker 13 (15:28):
Hey, let's talk about me y'all too, Paul. Yeah, I'm
something down, but I was poor growing up. Whole bull
eyes poor all eyes, dirt, poor ies, poor, I poor?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Please hell, Paul, was it?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Thanks basking?
Speaker 13 (15:42):
Well, if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have
nothing to play with.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Oh that much?
Speaker 13 (15:48):
Look with girls either? O you talking about bad love?
Girlfum with the other day said come on over, there's
nobody home. Well I went over, Sure enough, what nobody home?
The dirt sex. My girlfriend always wants to talk to me,
just the other die. She called me from a hotel.
One days I came home Berni from work. I saw
a guy jogging deckhead. I said, hey, buddy, why are
you doing that? He said, because you.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Came home early.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I always been a rough day too.
Speaker 8 (16:10):
I'll talk about that a minute.
Speaker 13 (16:12):
It's rough childhood. I's ugly as a kid. I know
as hard for you to flee, but don't why Okay, yeah,
I was ugly. When I played in the sandbox, the
cat kept covering me up. I could tell my parents
hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I sat an ugly baby. How I was an ugly baby?
Speaker 8 (16:30):
Whoo you look?
Speaker 13 (16:31):
I with my mother with my mother wouldn't breastfeed me.
My brother wonder to me. I said, thank you very much.
Mom says she's always she just liked me as a friend. Oh,
I'm so ugly. My father cares around the picture of
the kid who came with his wallet. And when I
was born, the doctor came out to the weight room,
said my daddy, I'm very sorry. We did everything we could,
(16:51):
but he pulled through. My mother had more than sickness
after I was born. I remember the time I was kid.
Have to set a pace of my finger to daddy.
He said he wanted more pro I went to the
pet shop when I was a teenager.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
People kept asking how big I give.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I wouldn't say.
Speaker 13 (17:09):
My doctor said doctor. Every morning I get up looking
the bear, I feel like throw it up. What's wrong
with me? He said, I don't know about your eyesight's perfect?
Speaker 10 (17:16):
Can I stop now? I'm afraid if I keep on playing
the drum, people gonna think I'm Pentecosta.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Wait wait out, good morning. You got the big show
on the radio. More chances for you to win coming
up after your.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
News, weather and sports.
Speaker 12 (17:33):
Hello, it's me Spanky, you know, mister personality from the
Yellow Rose. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. It's
not like they're paying me or anything. I can't even
get the redneck to pay his tab down a car.
But you can't help but love them, no matter how
nerve wracking they are. I don't even complain when they
(17:55):
make fun of my big head. I just wish John
Boy would give me back my memory, read foam pillow
and stop telling his kids that's where the comet hit.
Speaker 14 (18:37):
You.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
More than it's a big sean the radio.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
It is April to second, well, not too far past
from Saint Patrick's day. Give old stove one more shot
at some humor here. There's one thing you can't call
astro Nerd a quitter, and that's a real shame, because
we all wish you'd quit to us stand up comedy,
(19:00):
but he has to come back workshop some new material
from up upcoming gig. He's got it is that makes
me a gun for punishment. But dog on, he makes
me laugh here he is astro excuse me, joke nerd
mcwack of.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Whack of whack a boy, Yo, who's ready to mclaugh?
Speaker 4 (19:21):
There?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
You got a gig for Saint Patrick's day.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I laddie, it's the look of the Irish?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Are you Irish?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Irish?
Speaker 10 (19:28):
I was.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Irich log See that's.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
The start of clever wordplay.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
I'm busting out this Saturday for the Irish American League,
but I always like to test out my stick on you.
Laughs and lasses, just in case. It's like the Irish say,
don't iron your four leaf clover. You don't want to
press your luck?
Speaker 7 (19:50):
Alight?
Speaker 5 (19:51):
They gonna aren't They gonna want somebody who's actually Irish?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Does it matter? I mean, come on on with Don
Rickles Jewish.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Yes, let's get on with the show.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Faith and Gomora's Faith and Begora. Gomorra was like from
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
She was green, was the she boom roasted.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Let's get this over with, ladies and gentlemen. Here's joke, nerd.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Thank you, thank you. You have no taste.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
I say that if they applaud So what do you
say if they don't?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Knock?
Speaker 7 (20:29):
Knock?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Who's there?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Irish?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
You?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Irish?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Skew?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Who I rescue in the name of the law? Boom roasted?
Knock knock? Warren?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Warren? Who worring?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Anything green? For Saint Patrick's Day?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Are they all knock knock jokes?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Knock knock? No, Hey, Tater, do everyone a favor and
go Aaron, go Brawlis I like to start with a
boob joke? She knows what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Hey, all you single booze bags out there, did you
know that Saint Patrick's Day is a great time to
get lucky? And I've got some great pickup lines for you?
Happy Saint Patrick's Day. I'm about to make you say,
oh yes.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Oh, apostrophe has like O'Shaughnessy kiss me, I'm part Irish.
Want to know which parts.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Hot cha chaw.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Hey good looking? I'm gonna shamrock your world tonight.
Speaker 8 (21:44):
That's the end of that.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Two Irish couples go get pretty drunk on Saint Patrick's
Day and decide to swing partners for the night.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
The next morning, Patty says to Mike, I wonder how
the girls are getting on.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Every dent the hell ring a dang dang.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
An Irish farmer is walking across the field carrying two sheep.
His neighbor says, hey, Patty, are you gonna share those sheep?
Patty says, no, they're both for me. See sheer sounds
like Sharon and Irish savage. But I can't do the eggs.
Speaker 8 (22:19):
I'm no tater.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
So are you gonna stop and explain the jokes during
your gig?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
No, I've got some handouts printed.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Well, unlesseners don't have that, so let's wrap it up.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Okay, hold up, here's a good one. You're about the
irishman born with two left feet. In the summertime, he
wore flip flips.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Beat, I've had one.
Speaker 8 (22:51):
You can tell it to Beat.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
I had an Irish friend who was bulletproof. His name
was rick O'shay, how much do you charge the set
in the back row? I had a leper count for
a roommate. Once had to kick him out when the
rent was due. He was always a little short.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Nothing on that one.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
So do you have anything edgy.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
You asked for it.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Patty meets Sean at the tavern and says, oh, laddie,
I met the most wonderful woman last night. I find
her out by the railroad tracks. I took her home
and made whoopee for hours. Sean says, ay, that's a
spot of luck.
Speaker 12 (23:32):
That is.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
What does she look like?
Speaker 8 (23:34):
Patty says, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I couldn't find her head. Hello, edgy.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Oh that's a little too edgy there, nerd, But better
luck next time.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait one last one.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
There's these two Irish guys working for the city council.
They're out along the road. One would dig a hole
and the other fellow would come along behind him and
fill it in. They went up one street and down
the other side. They worked all day without stop. Up
an old pensioner was watching them with great curiosity. He
couldn't figure out what they were doing, so we went
up and asked, and one of the lamps said, well,
(24:08):
I'm sure it does look a wee bit odd, but
normally they are a three man team.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Because the guy would take the hole.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
And the missing guy would put the tree on the
other guy covered up.
Speaker 8 (24:22):
It's all in the print out.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Some bitches.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Here's a good I was saying for you. Don't let
the exit door hit you. Where the good lord? Splitch you?
Who's got a pen?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
That's the key joke.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Nerd out Yo, Good morning, Big Shows on the radio.
Coming up, we play John boyd Jemeny if a Happy
Herd prize by keep on the happy Heard banner click
click at the Big Show dot Com inter go JBB.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
You'll get tempersent off a check out and hang on
win it in minutes. Right now.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
We promise you Bob Ibog has got something that you
War Eagles fans won't I want to know about.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
And here, good morning, Bob.
Speaker 7 (25:02):
Hey, John Boy, good to hear from me. And I'll
tell you what. Not only do we have something for
the Auburn fans, but I know you've got some Gator
fans that listen to your show along with the syndicated network,
and we have something for both schools. And you know
they're doing something I think special out in San Antonio
this weekend. Yeah, and that the Big Tournament is going
(25:26):
to be out there. They're down the final four teams.
And we've got something really, really cool. These are basketballs
that salute each of the schools. One will be for
the Florida Gators and the other one will be for
the Auburn Tigers. They're full size, they're limited edition. Only
five thousand will be made of each school, and you'll
(25:46):
get all kind of cool things embossed on various panels
of the basketballs. Now, these are full size basketballs. I
got a chance to see a prototype. They are gorgeous looking.
Everything is in boss so it'll keep it pristine looking
for years to come. We're calling it a season to
Remember on a part of the logo there for both schools.
(26:07):
I mean, Auburn comes into the tournament this weekend and
they have a record of I think thirty two and five,
and then you go ahead and you look at Florida
and they've got a record of thirty two and four.
So that matchup is going to be magical and people
want to remember how they got there. I know Florida
(26:27):
fans remember the back to back titles they won in
two thousand and six and two thousand and seven. Auburn's
never won the national championship, so there are only two
wins away from getting it done. You'll get on one
of the panels of the ball, whether it's Auburn or Florida,
you'll get a replay of every game played by the
(26:48):
Tigers or the Gators. They'll have all the opponents, the dates,
and scores. You'll be able to remember how they got
out to the last four teams remaining, and whoever wins,
whether it's Auburn or Florida, and if they go on
to win the national championship. Will also put national champions
(27:09):
on this basketball. So when you order these, you'll get
the final version of it, and you'll have logos on there,
whether they be the Auburn logo or the Florida logo,
you'll have those that really stand out. Like I mentioned,
one of the panels lists all the scores of every
game played by these respective teams. So Gator fans, Tiger fans,
(27:31):
listen up. Here's how you can go ahead and order these.
These will sell out. There are one hundred and forty
nine dollars and ninety five cents each. Only five thousand
of each basketball will ever be produced. The tot free
number to call is one eight hundred three four, five,
two eight, six eight that's one eight hundred three four
(27:53):
five twenty eight sixty eight. Or just go to the
website nicosports dot com. It's spelled nikcosports dot com. That's
nikcosports dot com. When you go there, you can also
download a special gift certificate with a picture of the
(28:13):
basketball and then keep it and you know that this
will be sent to that person in about six to
eight weeks, so you can use it for a Mother's
Day gift idea, certainly for Dad. All your fans, you
want to do something nice for Dad this year, get
them one of those basketballs. And again they're only one
(28:33):
five limited, so don't delay. These will sell out very
very quickly. They do every years.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Go ahead, jump on it.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Before the final four this Saturday, Auburn will play Florida.
Somebody's going to hit the championship game. Bob, there's a
chance for a national champion in the SAC. I know
I was excited about that.
Speaker 7 (28:55):
Well, I tell you what. In my pool this year
I picked. I had two pools at Florida winning the
national title in one and Auburn winning the national title
in the other.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
So I can't lose.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
You are said, I got Florida in my only pool.
So we'll see what happens with that, Bob, and we
got to set up at the Big Show dot Com.
All our listeners can go right there and click on
the Niko Sports banner. All right, buddy, let's see what happens.
We'll catch up in a little bit.
Speaker 7 (29:21):
We'll do it.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You take care of all right, Bob, Thank you, buddy.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Joe.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Click on the Niko Sports banner at the Big Show
dot Com and I'll take you right there. Ah dd Well,
let's play I John Boyjepardy review yesterday's question, the ape
and right, the mudflap, the Camaro cut, the Kentucky Waterfall,
all names that barbers and beauticians have given to this
popular hairstyle.
Speaker 12 (29:44):
It is the mullet.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
The mullet, Yeah, that's for youngins. I got the scullet.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
Wow, okay, look at you Today's John Boy Jeopardy. The
Dunlop Tire Company was the first in the world to
make tires using this.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Is what is sweat and tears?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
No, when we still heard you going on, what's your gouy?
Speaker 4 (30:08):
What?
Speaker 7 (30:09):
No?
Speaker 4 (30:09):
I like it? What?
Speaker 5 (30:10):
But no?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
What ain't hundred big shows?
Speaker 7 (30:12):
You don't?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Right line, we go to we get the winner. We
play John Boy Jeopardy next. Good morning. That's a big
(30:42):
show on AL Radio.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
We're humming through your hum day Wednesday, Avery. Second feature
track from The Big Show bit boxing, rob me old
man hate social Media? See how much search for keywords
social media? Hit the bit box at the Big Show
dot com here right now, that's yes live across America.
Speaker 6 (31:03):
It's John Boy Jeopardy and now a man who says
the only thing he knows about tires is they ain't
pretty and they don't smell good. And nobody has ever
ever said, Hey, I want to come out and take
a look at my new tires.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
He's John Boy. I back out.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
You got another?
Speaker 1 (31:21):
You got another bend? I heard that? Ye wonder what
calls is?
Speaker 5 (31:26):
Let's say hey the Kelsey out of Wheeling, West Virginia.
Good morning, Kelsey.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Hello, how are you?
Speaker 11 (31:33):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (31:33):
We're all good, welcome in here? All right?
Speaker 5 (31:36):
Guess you got first shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning.
The Dunlop Tire Company was the first in the world
to make tires using this.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Inflatable rubber.
Speaker 13 (31:53):
Inflatable rubber tire, inflatable rubber.
Speaker 5 (31:58):
Let's see lovely, causey you went around there and stumbled on.
The correct answer is air, but that takes care of
it with the Inflata old tire.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
There were rubber tires that were solid rubber prior. So
never mind, Kelsey doesn't she got it? Okay? All right, Kelsey? Perfect?
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Hell a good job. We keep talking to Randy. He'll
talk you out of it. So you hang right on now, baby,
graduate last.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Tonight, am I able to give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Well, let's find out. Yes, of course, Baby, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Hey Dad, I'm proud of you. You beat cancer's eyes.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
I'm so happy.
Speaker 5 (32:46):
Awesome Kelsey, Right, Baby, gets your dad for us and
you hang on. Jackie hook up with the prize pack.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Thank you, sir?
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Why how many words? Hopo you news on the other side?
How about that time capsule wall home day? Lad? What's this?
Speaker 9 (33:39):
Is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports.
Speaker 15 (33:54):
Jane's got tatooo's on her backside and a car jacked
about front. My neighbor next door is an own road horror,
and she's on faun a hustland and spends her days
in the laundrom at, washing and drying.
Speaker 8 (34:10):
Two tops.
Speaker 15 (34:11):
Good night were crazy about my old lady, but I
don't really think I'd swap spends her night send a
strip joy doing an exotic dance in a night a day,
pair of platform shoes and worn out spending next pants.
Her kids still live with her mother and her stepbrother
who's on employee drowsing Old Shark Truce.
Speaker 9 (34:35):
Pinole and sleeps with a dude named Floyd.
Speaker 15 (34:38):
And she's a trailer park form and she's a the
mole ba home princess.
Speaker 16 (34:44):
She's the queen of manufactured house. She's a trail of
park woman. She's a mob bahome princess.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
And me off the trailer parking.
Speaker 8 (35:01):
She's got a bad reputation.
Speaker 15 (35:04):
She's the talk of the neighborhood.
Speaker 9 (35:07):
Him maybe her place Saint.
Speaker 15 (35:08):
Graceland, but the furniture syst as good. I often stir
in her window when she's getting dressed inside, but she
don't mind. She looks up to me because I own
the double why a concrete rock foundation, and it impresses
(35:30):
her soul.
Speaker 9 (35:32):
She always causes a knocking. No one ever, there's a
tournade old and she's a trailer.
Speaker 15 (35:38):
Park wall and she's all my home princess.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Everybody's a quite the manufactured.
Speaker 17 (35:45):
I don't know who'says she's a trail of barn woman,
She's a mo my home, Princess and me trailer parking.
Speaker 9 (36:02):
John Boy and Billy. Good morning radio, dumb.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Right, good morning, big shows on the radio.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Here we go, right now, It's time for an American
minute with Tank Holgar.
Speaker 14 (36:46):
Thanks Redd, Hey America, Tank holgarth here got a minute
too bad?
Speaker 8 (36:51):
Make time.
Speaker 14 (36:53):
Put down your smartphone and dummy up. I'm gonna lay
some food for thought on you. And if you're anything
like the drooling human fungus that runs wild in this
once glorious republic, your noggin has a bad case of malnutrition.
Tell the whole flipping country as brain starving for a
heap and helping of common sense. Well, guess what, Einstein
and Luck, I'm the by god golden Corral of wisdom.
(37:17):
So grab an extra plate or two and a nice
big ice cold glass to shut your doughnut, drain and
digest this table for one. Find it yourself. I'm not
your mother. My day was teed up to be a
real special occasion special because I'm too cheap to do
it very often. And no I'm not talking about a hooker,
But in hindsight it would probably have been a better
(37:38):
investment and a whole lot cheaper, both financially and morally.
The worst that can happen with a hooker can be
fixed with penicillin, calamine lotion, and a few hours of
doctor Phil. But what I went through is left me
with night terrors, chronic nausea, and the uncontrollable urge to
slam my junk in a car door. Of course, I'm
(37:58):
talking about it. Going to the movies. You know, in
the good old days, entertainment did what he was supposed
to do, entertained. When you went to the movies, you
knew what to expect. You cheered the hero and booed
the villain. The dog lived, the boy got the girl,
and the one constant in every last flickering frame of
(38:19):
spectacular celluloid was an unflinching and wavering, unashamed love of
God and country. Today, the bad guy is the good guy,
the dog is now a cat. The boy still gets
the girl, but you find out she used to be
a boy, and the boy digs it. And worst of all,
Hollywood's kicked God to the curb and got rid of
(38:40):
the white and blue, and now they're just playing Godless Red.
Speaker 8 (38:44):
I don't know. Maybe I'm a.
Speaker 14 (38:45):
Black and white guy in a technicallor world. Maybe I
believe in happy ending someplace other than the massage parlor.
Speaker 8 (38:51):
Maybe, just maybe I'm living in the past.
Speaker 14 (38:54):
You know, a past where tickets were cheap, you didn't
have to take out a second mortgage to buy popcorn,
and when you took your dear, sweet sainted mother to
see Gene Kelly, you sure as hell didn't have to
worry about him cussing a blue streak, spitting on the
American flag, or making out with Danny Kay, at least
not on screen, despite what you might have heard from
some people who were there.
Speaker 8 (39:14):
But they're all dead now, So what the hell are
you gonna do about it?
Speaker 14 (39:17):
Shake my head? What the hell have you done to
our movies America? Personally, I blamed Joe McCarthy. He had
his chance to get the Red Menace out of Hollywood.
He rounded up that Comi trash and gave the pinkos
their pink slips, but he didn't finish the job. All
the turds were right there in the bowl, and he
(39:39):
was one flush short of a phill.
Speaker 8 (39:41):
Septic tag.
Speaker 14 (39:42):
Fast forward forty years and now look the historically American
institution of Hollywood, his own lock stock and both barrels
by communist China. Now, how do you feel about ho
Chi mini mouse? Comrade? You like being lectured too by
millionaire propaganda pimps, saying you're stupid because of who you
vote for, all the while running hard to the hoop
(40:05):
on behalf of a crooked old boozehound dressed as an oven.
Myth that some pretty boy actor flies his hairstylists across
country on a private jet so he looks good on
camera when he tells you you're destroying the planet because
you drive a truck to work, dare to have more
than one.
Speaker 8 (40:20):
Kid, and you eat bacon.
Speaker 14 (40:23):
When Americans ran Hollywood, actors were men and actresses were women.
Speaker 8 (40:27):
Now you can't tell them apart.
Speaker 14 (40:29):
Girls got crew cuts, Guys got a man bun in
both sides are flat chested. I grew up watching real
men like Jimmy Stewart, James Cagney, and John Wayne. When
war broke out, the biggest stars in Tinseltown suited up
to fight tojo the hun Hitler and whoever else dared
kick dirt in the face of Lady Liberty. Hollywood was
pro America, baby, They started the USO, They sold war
(40:54):
bonds on their own diamond, their own time, and they
put their hand over their heart when they said the
pledge of a li agents. Now, the warriors they support
aren't the great American military kind. They're the social justice kind.
And the only place they put their hand is in
your pocket to steal your hard earned dollar to make
sure some third world dirt worshiper votes for their side.
(41:18):
In return, you're forced to watch their wicked kamie agenda
dressed up like windbreaking emojis, foul mouth superheroes and cowboys
that don't ride horses.
Speaker 8 (41:29):
What the hell?
Speaker 14 (41:34):
Well, well, look at the time, I've overstayed my welcome.
But you know what they say, toff crap, you're welcome.
This is tank hole garth, stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
Good day.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
You're old pal Steve here, No, not the former idiot intern,
the crocodile Stalker, and you're listening to my two favorite
bonds of mates, John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
I'll tell you it's nice to be high and dry
and safe and sound in this Knacker studio. Hey, what's
this wire for you?
Speaker 5 (43:04):
The more the big shows on the radio, Carl will
come in here talking about my aunt Dura.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
I said, did that yesterday?
Speaker 4 (43:10):
I said, now?
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Wrong one? All right, So here we go. Looks like
we got a special story time.
Speaker 9 (43:19):
And now it's story time with your host, Carl.
Speaker 12 (43:24):
Children got to remember to push that button, little feller.
I ain't figured out why folks are so interested in
the fellas that move around the big show hair with
John Boy and Billy and them. Now they're plumbing up
with something.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Called the entourage.
Speaker 12 (43:44):
I'd some fellas that Randy says fights for a seat
on John Boy's coat tails. I never seen John Boy
wear coats, let alone one with a tail on it.
I reckon I'd have me pretty beggings to hold some
of them, folks. They're all pretty good fellas. Seemed to
me like that old Bradshaw. He's sort of busy body,
(44:08):
always wanted to know where everybody's going. Later on, I
reckon that because he had some time on his hands
here lately. Bro While there he's busy as a beaver
trying to keep up with his girlfriend. She wandered off
Summer's first fail. Well, sir, I figured that's what he
gets for having Wonder Woman for a sweetheart. Seems to
(44:30):
make sense. She'd run off time to time, fight them
bad fellas and space boogers and whatnot. Keeping up with
her a lot of work for a feller, what ain't
super got a passle of invisible cars, boats and whatnot.
It's hard to keep up with not being able to
(44:53):
see him in all. Half a time, he never knowed
he's a talking to because she kept having to change
her secret identity around. I knowed one time she's some
foreign beauty queen, all that superhero, and she's a doing
kindly rubbed off on old Bradshaw, though I hate now,
for he can fall off a roof not even get hurt.
(45:18):
He ain't get in a scuffle at the drop of
a hat fighting for that truth, just as in the
American way. As such, he plumb whooped the tar ont
of some man old Muslims and used to frying pant
on some fella at Walmart. The way I heard it,
we wonder Woman there. She even made him join the circus.
(45:40):
Good John boy told me she had him a jumping
through hoops, heard another little fella by a little billy,
or where in fact he is. Sometimes he even pretends
to be billy when Billy don't want to have nothing
to do with Yon Boy's foolishness, or if it ain't
(46:03):
no money involved, Yon Boy calls him a little buddy.
His real name is Henry Cato. Not that fella what
works with a green hornage, But I reckon he's still
a hero to some folks, especially all them big girls.
He likes him so much. M he even opened a
(46:25):
store with his name on it so that big gals
have something rather nice to work for.
Speaker 8 (46:29):
All the chief.
Speaker 12 (46:32):
Little Henry just got married up with this old blonde
girl he's been leading on for a good many years.
I guess them a little bit he legs of his
He just plumb got tired of running. Or could be
he just lazy. He's the only fella I know that
plays some sort of golf riding around on a horse.
(46:58):
I think he's the only fella that got the nerve
to tell John Boy when he's gone too far. He's
always saying, what you go too far, firm, But you
go too far? Of course, by then he's too late,
But at least he tells him. And there's mister Spanky.
(47:21):
I like the way he talks. He got him a
big old head, that's for sure. John Boyce says, in
them ain't um brothers out there on the patio, he says,
them Spanky's hats hanging out to drive mister Spanky run
this Yellow Rose place. There must be a pool around there, Summers.
(47:42):
I never seed it because Randy says it's a regular dive.
I reckon it's John Boy's favorite hangout. Listen, he wants
some brother that's good to eat. Then he gets mister
Spanky to drive him Summers nice. He even lets him
(48:03):
pick up a tab so he feels like he ain't intrude.
And John Boyce says, that's our friends do one another.
Little Feller Belly said, mister Spanky's one of them personality
bar keeps. I just think he cares a good bit
about folks. He's always asking me how long A doctor
tells me I gotta wear these shoes for. I don't
(48:27):
have a heart to tell him they just regular shoes.
I'll admit he's a little hard on some folks. I
reckon that's on account of his sacred I think I'm
the only one to figure it out. He's always asking
folks to come in iff in the gay bars his clothes.
(48:49):
He asked that a lot. Wonder why he wants to
know that all the time. Seems to mind funny to me.
Not funny, ha ha funny, But mister spank can give
me free French fries. I reckon you keep it Timoseale anyway,
who'd believe something like it? I'm an other than him
(49:12):
and his girlfriend. Branch over there, y'all keep at.
Speaker 7 (49:17):
You seal the end.
Speaker 5 (49:23):
Story Time with Carl Childers is brought to you by
Hargraves potted meat product chock full of peckers and lips
since nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 12 (49:31):
Hello tller, what time do the gay bark here?
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Good morning, big shows on the radio. Hang on, I
have been hauling ontourage. I think you are making fun
of me. I'm gonna listen carefully out here.
Speaker 5 (49:46):
We have a listener letter coming in hot First, tell
you about the prize pack you can win if you
play Beat the Blonde with Us is an LS tractor
prize pack. It includes cool hat, stainless steel insulated tumbler, key,
chaine go to hell Tractor USA dot com, find your
local dealer customers, Start blue and stay blue.
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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