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The Alan Cox Show

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Allen Cox Show podcast will be right back. O
zimpic is expensive. I want to really lose your appetite.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
You've come to the right place.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven DOUBLEMMS.

Speaker 4 (00:24):
All right.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Seven eight one double o seven if you want to
join us live or eight hundred and three four eight
one double oh seven. You'll talk to Cat before you
talk to me. I want to have more money for
you too, about seven minutes from now thirty past every hour,
provided I can get it as close to that as possible.
Another one thousand dollars courtesy of the Buzzard Bookie. Your

(00:49):
Cleveland Cavaliers are here at home tonight. That's a seven
thirty tip off against the Boston Celtics, who are a
pretty good basketball team, better than a lot of some
of the other ones it has have been playing recently.
The are still tops of the league, and so seven
thirty tonight, seven o'clock pregame coverage begins here on WMMS
and on the iHeartRadio app. We were having that conversation
yesterday about Luka Doncic going to the Lakers, and I

(01:12):
was really throwing around a lot of information and I
mentioned Tristan Thompson. Of course, always forget that he's back
on the Calves. He's like, not even on my radar.
I think a lot of people are calling me out
because I refer to him as being on the Lakers.
He is, in fact on the Cleveland Cavaliers. And I
always always forget that one person life. You messages, you go,

(01:35):
you know you don't have to talk about sports, and
I go, trust me, I don't want to. That's me pandering.
But as your FM home for Cleveland Cavaliers basketball, what
other point seven Tavola, I like to let people know.

Speaker 5 (01:52):
With that voice, I couldn't believe that you didn't spend
a lot of time on the whole Calves, MAVs, rhyming things.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
You can really only go to that well. So many
times everybody leaving messages too about the intense Randy checking
in on heartburn medication or what. I guess that really
got his hackles up. Intense Randy here, listen.

Speaker 6 (02:16):
Pylosec is the name you see at the pharmacy, but
it's oh my bursal and me and Rover both take
two hundred milligrams a day.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
That's for us. The reflux bye. Yeah, I'm already drunk. Yes,
I'm on vacationry intense, Randy checking in? How does he
know what Rover takes? How does he hip to his medications?
Not like a hippo violation or something. Pretty good question.
We shouldn't be telling people that, hm anyway, Okay, well

(02:52):
there you go. If you listen to us on the
iHeartRadio app, of course, you can leave messages there anytime
you like.

Speaker 7 (02:57):
I don't know what this Alan Cox show saying is,
but you just rudely.

Speaker 8 (03:01):
Interrupted my Lightning Crash marathon.

Speaker 9 (03:04):
Thanks for nothing. Hate the show.

Speaker 5 (03:07):
Boy, I hate to hear I know that's not still happening.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Oh yeah, what other song is getting played in? Says no?

Speaker 5 (03:14):
No, I actually I listened for like three hours today
and yesterday, and now we had the promos and stuff
put back in. I did not hear any music in
at all, So hopefully there won't be any music when
we go to breaks.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
Oh okay, and I'll just confuse people with this now,
I'll just talk over it.

Speaker 5 (03:34):
And this is Alan just being Alan. This isn't the app.
This is not the app playing this song. Wait, it
says the app. Welcome to the app. Yeah, so apparently
that is resolved. If it's not, please feel free to
let me know.

Speaker 10 (03:49):
Not.

Speaker 5 (03:49):
Look, I had to tell you because I get seventy
five emails a day from pissed off people about.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
The app, and sixty five of those are from me.
That's okay, though I don't mind it's from you. Well, anyway,
we'll be switching platforms and hopefully that will all be fixed. Whatever. Hey,
I've got a little nerd alert for you. They dropped

(04:13):
the trailer, well maybe a teaser for the latest iteration
of the Fantastic Four, and I think this one might work.
They have tried to make a Fantastic Four movie for
a couple of decades now. I don't remember what the
first one was. I think it was Ian Griffith and
Jessica Alba, and then they remade it with like Michael

(04:35):
Chickliss was the thing, and they remade it again. Chris
Evans was the Human Torch before he was Captain America.
They've they've every few years. They just can't get their
arms around the Fantastic Four. I think they might have
done it. They kind of set this one. It's called
Fantastic Four First Steps, Kat Do you care about this

(04:56):
kind of crap at all. Are you like a nerd
when it comes to like comic books or anything like that.

Speaker 11 (05:00):
No, I definitely enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
So they have Pedro Pascal, who these days can do
no wrong. I think as far as most people are concerned,
he's read Richards. They have this British actress named Vanessa
Kirby who is all kinds of hot. She's been in
Mission Impossible, and she's She's been in a handful of films.
They have a guy named Evan Moss Backrack who was
on Girls back in the day. Most currently he's on

(05:22):
the Bear. He's cousin on the Bear. He is Ben Grimm,
He's the thing. So he's in that makeup a lot.
And then they have who's the British kid, Joe Quinn
I think is his name. He was the dude on
Stranger Things they had the long hair and the guitar
in real life though he didn't have that long hair.
And he's the human torch in this movie. And they
have a trailer that drops today and so I'm watching it.

(05:44):
It looks like it's you know, set maybe in the
fifties or something. But what makes it move for me?
Of course, is when they have these little flashes towards
the end of who, like the bad guy is John Malkovich.
I'm not quite sure who he's going to be playing,
but there is one clip and scene in this trailer
that when it pops up, I get a nerd boner.

(06:06):
There's Malkovich. And then they show a shadow over New
York And if you know what that is, if you're
a comic book nerd and you know what that is,
it is the back of the head. The thing casting
the shadow over the statue of Liberty is galactus, which
is very, very exciting. Now it'll make it more exciting

(06:28):
is if they cast like weird Al Yankovic or something
like that to play them. But if you're a comic
book nerd, and I'm I'm really not one in good
standing anymore, but I collected them and read them for
the first twenty years of my life religiously and obsessively.
And so if they can finally pull off a Fantastic

(06:52):
Four movie, I think that would be pretty exciting, because boy,
they have tried it for a long time. They tried
it with Michael B. Jordan and Miles Teller and uh
Kate mar they just keep trying to make these and
hopefully they can do it with a Pedro Pascal. I'm

(07:13):
not sure I hated any of them. I mean they were.
I didn't like any of them. I mean they were
they were fine. The Silver Surfer that I think one
of them got a sequel, right, they did the same surfer.
They so the first it must have made some money,
but it looks like they're taking a different tack with
it this time. They're kind of setting it further back.
It's called first steps, setting it further back on a
timeline or whatever. And I think for a lot of people,

(07:35):
you know, there's superhero fatigue with some of these movies,
because once you got past your Lisa in the Marvel universe,
once you got past your Avengers, then they are just
making every goddamn movie about every character they have. Nobody cares.
They're making the Immortals and they're making Craven the Hunter,
although I don't think that's a Marvel movie, but I
think it's a Sony movie, and people are like, yawn,

(07:57):
that's why they're like, we're bringing back Robert Downey Jr.
And now he's gonna play doctor Doom just to get
people excited again for some more Avengers movies.

Speaker 5 (08:04):
So was that just supposed to take place in a
parallel universe? Is that kind of the premise.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Direct conning the whole thing? I don't think. I think
they're like, hey, this guy used to be this guy,
now he's this guy. I don't know if it's a
I have no idea. If it's a parallel universe.

Speaker 5 (08:17):
They've made so much money on that character with him,
it just seems it's odd that that person could exist
as the same person.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
And if I'm him, I go, yeah, of course I'll
do that.

Speaker 5 (08:27):
Yes, yeah, I'm gonna pay you a billion dollars to
do it.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
Okay, yeah, uh, Ralph innocent if I'm pronouncing that correctly.
Somebody texted me Ralph Innoson is voicing Galactus. Ralph Innoson
is this British actor with this He was the dad
in The Witch, remember that Robert Eggars movie with the Witch.
Robert Eggers likes him a lot. So he's in nos Feratu,
He's probably in the Lighthouse. He's in the Witch. He
just has this deep, deep voice, so that's perfect voice casting.

(08:56):
If that's him, Alan, don't feel bad. I thought Tristan
Thompson died two years ago. I don't know. I'm not
sure how he would die unless No, I don't know.

(09:17):
I mean, I've got thoughts, but I don't know how
he would have died. No, he's alive and well. And
that's if only you had your comic books. You son
of a bitch. See, people are trolling me now, you
son of a motherless whore. I don't that's right. I
don't care who you are, Condolan says to another one
of our listeners who has joined the Dead Dad Club.
Our friend Mary Santora and I are both members of

(09:40):
the Dead Dad Club. Your parents are both still around, cat,
Yeah you're young though, Yeah they're still right. Are they
doing things? Are they retired? Are they running around? They're
doing serbian things? Yeah, what did they do?

Speaker 11 (09:51):
My mom is a really good chef, so she is
baking and cooking pretty much every day, and great homemaker
things like that. My dad, he loves to watch sports.
I grew up going to Cavs games with him all
the time, a season ticket holders. He actually has Parkinson,
so he's a little bit limited by that. But yeah, okay, overall,

(10:14):
they love to go on walks, together outside, like in the.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Neighborhood, and basketball was your dad's.

Speaker 11 (10:18):
Game, basketball and tennis. He would train with us and
things like that, practice with us when we were kids.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
Yeah, because you said yesterday you were a big tennis player. Yep,
and so he was quite skilled at that then. Yeah.

Speaker 11 (10:30):
Actually growing up for decades, my parents would play together
against each other, obviously, and it kept him in shape
for a long time. It's a really good sport, like
lifestyle sport in that sense.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
You know, they call that rob singles tennis, uh huh.
Doubles tennis, as I understand it, and again I'm not
skilled in the sport at all. Doubles tennis, as I
understand it is when you do two shots of Glenn
Livett and then you go out there and you hit
the court. That's how I understand it. Yes, yes, I
think that's true. Okay, well, good, Hey, Speaking of movies,

(11:07):
since I was talking about Fantastic four and at the
top of the show we were talking about a Serbian film.
I watched an equally fed up movie last night. Now,
a friend of mine and I we will trade movies
back and forth, and a lot of the movies that
a lot of movies that are like of the horror
variety that I've liked the most over the probably the

(11:29):
last decade or so, are foreign films. There are great
Korean horror movies. There are a great Spanish horror movies.
They're a great attell all of it, right. So you're
watching these, but you're also reading them as well. So
a friend of mine sends me a movie and he goes, hey,
you should watch this movie, but don't I want you

(11:51):
to go in cold. I don't want you to know
anything about this movie. When I mentioned this, there might
be some people in the audience who've watched it. It's
about ten years old. It's called We Are the Flesh
Tenemos Lacarnate was what it was initially. It's a Mexican
horror film, so it's subtitle it's called We Are the Flesh,
and just the long and the short of it is,

(12:13):
it's a post apocalyptic film about two siblings who are
trying to survive in this wasteland and they come across
this guy, this older guy, who says that he will
give them the things they need if they start doing
awful things to each other. And so the movie itself

(12:36):
are these like psychedelic passages of like incest and cannibalism,
and it's all this stuff. It's not an easy watch.
Here's the only reason I mention this is that the
only place it was available was on tub. Do you
know what tub is? Okay? Tob is a free streaming service,

(13:00):
so the only place this movie was now mind you.
I didn't finish the film. I was kind of like,
I've had enough. The story was barely there. It got
to the point where I was like, okay, whoever directed
this just was looking to get a bonus. I don't know.
The film has unsimulated sex scenes, by the way, so
real stuff going on in this movie. But it's on TB.

(13:24):
So imagine watching a movie like this and it's interrupted
quite frequently by ads for Low's progressive soup. I'm like,
I'm getting whiplash watching this fi. Yes, I'm like, oh,
this movie is terrible. And there's like an ad for
like jeep Wrangler or something, because they tell you now

(13:44):
up in the corner, ad break will begin in thirty seconds,
and it just cuts the movie. You know, on these
free streamers, there's not a lot of pomp and circumstance.
They just have it's like listening to the iHeartRadio app.
An advertisement will just drop in in the middle of
what ever, at least on the streamers, some of them

(14:04):
will tell you ad break coming in a few minutes.
But it was quite not just the film itself was
disconcerting and difficult to watch, this kind of transgressive cinema.
And of course I was a mother effing my friend
on text when he told me to watch this movie,
but for it to be interrupted by such normal, everyday

(14:30):
advertisements because these companies they don't they place an ad
by they don't know where it's going in.

Speaker 12 (14:36):
Right.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
If you call the Progressive Soup Company and go, hey,
your ads are in a movie about these Mexican kids.
It's the apocalypse and they have to do awful things
to each other, I don't know what they would say.

Speaker 13 (14:49):
Need.

Speaker 5 (14:49):
They might say, we have a soup for that. I mean,
I need you to do this to your sister. After
we hear this from sky Rizzy.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
There you go, yes, nothing everything, Yeah, Progresso soup and wow,
Yeah it's pretty wild. So I'm not I'm definitely not
going to This is not a film recommendation. I mean,
if you're somebody that likes to watch movies like on
a dare, I would say, uh, you could check this

(15:18):
one out. Uh, but it's pretty wild and getting interrupted
by these like standard white bread advertising. You know, there's
some things that with the advertising seems a little bit
more tailored to the content. There's no advertising that's tailored
to content like that. So it just dips in and
I was like, eh, And then you get acclimated to

(15:42):
the break because they're not short, they're not flashing you
a thirty right, They're giving you two three minutes of commercials.
Then you get acclimated to that, and then it just
dips right back into the movie. I'm like, oh, come on,
I'm trying to eat Ben and Jerry's here. Did you
finish the pipe? I didn't, gots no how much of
it did you? I fully planned on it, by the

(16:03):
way I went in. First of all, I was eating
it way too late. I know better than that. But
I had a hanker in for it. I had planned
on eating it, and I had planned eating the whole pint,
and I just didn't. I'm like, who am I trying
to impress here? I'm like, I ate about half of it.
Put the other half back in a freezer. Okay, I'll

(16:24):
get to it later. Now, Normally I would take that
half and i'd go, eh, I throw it away. But
I don't like to be wasteful like that, so I
put it back in the freezer where it's currently waiting
for me.

Speaker 5 (16:39):
Wait a minute, didn't you start this with someone joining
the Dead Dad Club? Did you ever say who that was?
It was just a texture. Oh okay, I thought there
was somebody specific.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
No, no, no, just a texture. They texted me and said, hey,
I joined the Dead Dad Club yesterday, and I texted
them back and said, I'm really sorry to hear that,
and they were like, you know, the show has been
a bright spot in the last couple of days, is
what they say.

Speaker 11 (17:04):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
I checked into the YouTube to see what Cat look like.
I mean, the response to Cat on day one, as
far as what I got, was overwhelmingly positive. Naturally. Now
that is the blush of new love between somebody on
the show and the audience. Once they get to know
her more. And I think I've told her this, Once

(17:26):
they get to know her more and better, they'll feel
more comfortable treating her like crap. That's the fact. That's
how you know you've made it. That's the fun part.
So yeah, this person, their dad died in his sleep

(17:47):
at eighty three, So I guess if you're going to go,
that's the way to go, in your sleep, unless you know,
my grandfather died in his sleep. Unfortunately, he had fallen
asleep on a plane and that plane crashed.

Speaker 14 (18:04):
So.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
Tummy was flying it. That's no way to go. It
was Oh, Pat, Pap, you had a good run. If
only it was like that Atlantis Morisset song, except he
slept all the way through it. See how everybody's asking
me about this movie on tub you sick, sick bastards.

(18:31):
I'm not going to tell you the name of it.
It's called We Are the Flesh. The Alan Cox Show
Podcast will be right back.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
If he sounds super excited to see you, Hey, what's up.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Remember he is a paid performer as a broadcaster. He's
real good.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
Alan Cox on one hundred point seven MMS, Your Cavalier's
remain at home tonight they're going to play the Boston Celtics.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
Before they hit the road for a couple of days.
Celtics calves tonight at seven thirty tonight on MMS and
on the iHeartRadio app if you want to listen there,
hopefully with minimal interruption. Do people have the same experience
do we know when they're listening to the Calves on
the app? Do they have the same experience that they

(19:27):
do when they listen to this show?

Speaker 5 (19:29):
No, because it's all self contained. The cave stuff is
all like with us, like we're not running anything here.
They run everything over at the Calves, so it just runs.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
I see, whereas this is a live, moving broadcast. Correct,
I don't mean moving in the emotional sense.

Speaker 14 (19:43):
You know.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
More than a few people ask me near the top
of the show via text, how can Allen have ever
had heartburn? He doesn't have a heart Oh that's not true. Listen,
I'd argue if I could. But what do you want
me to say, Allan? I'm forty nine and I also
have never had heartburn? That's great, Oh listen.

Speaker 5 (20:05):
I I'm just saying I might be a little jealous,
that's all I understand.

Speaker 4 (20:09):
Oh God for you.

Speaker 5 (20:11):
But I also do it to myself, like I know
what doesn't agree with me, and I still eat it.
I know, red sauce. If I eat it at night,
it's gonna bother me. M h I'm still gonna do it.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
So it's not necessarily an issue of spices. Like I
know people where they're like system will not tolerate spicy food.
I love spicy food. I do as well. How are
the better for me?

Speaker 5 (20:29):
But no, Usually it's things like that, Like I know,
if I eat anything tomato based at night, it's gonna
be a problem. If I eat peppers, raw peppers, they'll
get me. Certain things like that will just always come
back to bite me. Yeah, love spicy food. I like
my food like I like my women, Rob Strong Red
Oh okay ah, No, Listen, that's silliness spicy. Hey, maybe

(20:56):
they should defund NPR.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
You know this talk about all this. You know, our
current administration has nothing to do with the betterment of
American society. They are bent on revenge for a series
of whatever perceived slights, and so they think that. But
I was watching a thing on NPR's Instagram account about

(21:22):
a woman. Listen. We've talked about these weird kind of
studies all the time, and I always assume that they're
in the service of maybe a greater understanding of humans.
And of course that's the case. We do share ninety
nine percent of our DNA with the monkey community, right,
And so there was a woman who was studying contagious
peeing in chimpanzees. You know they say that when humans yawn,

(21:46):
that's a sign of empathy. Right, there's a thing in
your brain that the fact that yawning is contagious they
have attributed to there's there's an an empathic quality to that.
I don't quite know what that means, but I think
that that's what it determine. That's why when people yawn

(22:07):
near me, I'm stone faced. But this woman was studying
the whole chimp peeing.

Speaker 15 (22:13):
Mid Science News Contagious pen and chips. Ina Unishi, a
grad student at Juno University in Japan, was studying a
group of captive chimpanzees when something struck her as odd.

Speaker 12 (22:24):
I noticed that they seem to have a tendency to
urinate around the same time, and it kind of reminded me.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Of By the way, contagious urination is on two hours
to midnight this coming Saturday night, just for people who
like our metal show, A little tip of the cap
to you. It's always a grad student. God blessed grad
students too.

Speaker 10 (22:43):
Right.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
There are people who never want to leave the warm,
comfy confines of academia, and you certainly can't blame on
the real world as a bitch. I'm a grad student,
she is. Cat's getting her MBA right.

Speaker 11 (22:55):
Yeah, I'm actually doing two master's degrees.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Oh fine, Oh god, for you?

Speaker 4 (23:03):
Fine?

Speaker 11 (23:05):
Two?

Speaker 1 (23:05):
Okay? So an MBA.

Speaker 11 (23:08):
Yeah, my MBA in Strategic Marketing and then my Master
of Science and User Experience Design. It's called ux X
from Kent State. That one's only online though.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
Okay, AnyWho, No, listen, I'm all for it. The more accomplished,
the better. You're blowing my mind over here. I am
so for you, so so dumb. We are so stupid
over here. We have been. We really played ourselves bringing
Kat out of the show. Oh my god. It never
occurred to me what the flip side of a really

(23:41):
good interview is, right. You get impressed by somebody and
then you bring them into the fold and you go, well,
now you're in our world. Our world is stupid. It's ridiculous.
She's gonna figure that out quick.

Speaker 11 (23:55):
Oh my god, that's okay. I like to have fun.
This is fun again.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Strike three, Cat, I don't know what you thought I'm
talking about. Contagious ping and chimpanzees.

Speaker 11 (24:07):
I love it. I have an ADHD mind, so I
appreciate all the random facts.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, plenty of plenty of those are around here, yep,
all right.

Speaker 12 (24:19):
Human behaviors of going to bathroom together, for example.

Speaker 15 (24:23):
So this observation got Eno wondering was this behavior socially contagious?

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Like Yanni.

Speaker 15 (24:28):
To see if it was, she spent over six hundred
hours watching a group of twenty chimpanzees.

Speaker 13 (24:33):
He trapped.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Okay, now, six hundred hours watching chimpanzees urinate, right. I
remember like stories of like you know, during the Vietnam War,
when they were trying to figure out every possible advantage
that the American military could have over this new kind

(24:54):
of asymmetrical warfare, strength and muscle and jungle work. Right,
they wanted to know every possible angle they could have,
and so they would have, uh, they would have military
guys tracking things like urination patterns in dogs or you know,
things along these lines in wartime. See, I've had any

(25:17):
edge whatsoever with animals among the troops. And imagine you
were the soldier this woman's just doing it for grad work.
Imagine you were the soldier assigned to that task. You
get home after a long day and your young son
or daughter is staring up at you. How was your day, honey?
What did you do during the war? Daddy? I watched dogs?

(25:41):
Whiz I stood there with a clipboard. You think you
got it bad? Did what I was just gonna ask you?
Did they did? I miss the part? Did they say
where they were monitoring the what I'm watching some of
her fields? What six hundred hours were they?

Speaker 11 (26:04):
Were they?

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Our thirty five? Let me fast forward our one and twenty. Oh,
look they're all doing it. Okay, let me fast forward
a little bit more. Our three oh one? Okay, cool.
Let me let me ZiT the way forward here our
number five ten?

Speaker 4 (26:27):
Okay, that's who?

Speaker 1 (26:28):
Boy?

Speaker 5 (26:29):
Was she watching them in the wild or was it
like like in the zoo tah in the wild?

Speaker 14 (26:33):
It was?

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Okay, all right, I missed that part of it.

Speaker 5 (26:36):
That's what I wanted to check, because if it was
if they were all peeing at the same time, if
they were getting water at the same time, that would
make sense.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
By the way, something I hesitate to call this stupid,
because again, these kinds of we might go ha ha ha,
but these kinds of studies always do lead to something else,
something that's useful and applicable, maybe to the human condition.
But also, you've seen the memes. I know it feels
like Trump's president for two years already, but it's only
been like a couple of weeks. You've seen the memes.

(27:05):
How do I stay informed and yet at the same
time not lose my ever love and mind. These are
the kinds of things they can give you, kind of
a mental respite from all the other stuff going on.
A woman who spent six hundred hours seeing if peeing
is contagious in the chimpanzee community, I couldn't be more

(27:26):
pleased to walk you through this valley of tears.

Speaker 15 (27:29):
Here elves and took note of where the chimps were
relative to each other when they did it. Looking at
the data altogether, an interesting pattern emerged. Basically, chimps were
peen together more often than you'd expect if they.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
Were just peen at random.

Speaker 15 (27:41):
Her best guess is that being closer helped, but proximity
alone wasn't the main factor.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
All right, So you know how humans can be pe shy,
Like I've never been pa shy. Right, if there's somebody
stand next to me at the urinal, I will let fly.
I couldn't give a fat frog's ass who's next to me?

Speaker 4 (27:54):
Right?

Speaker 1 (27:54):
Have I gotta go? I gotta go. This is me
at our four hundred. So, but these chimpanzees not so much.
They're just doing whatever they gotta do. So this woman
is out there studying these things, and I'm I'm I
couldn't be happier about it. Now. I have to imagine

(28:17):
that maybe her follow up is whether or not, because
you know, chimps also engage in all kinds of different behaviors.
I don't know if she looked into any cross vectors
with water sports. I don't know, right, do they just
do it near each other? Do they do it on
each other? I don't think she gets into that. I

(28:38):
think she's trying to keep it academic in the truest sense.

Speaker 15 (28:43):
Chims have a hierarchical society, and it turned out that
lower ranking chimps were more likely to catch the urge
to pee from more dominant chimps.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
Right, so, if you are a dominant chimp, you're gonna
make the lower ones have to pee more. That's how
I assert my dominance over people. I go, hey, get
a load of this, and then they don't know what
I'm talking about, and I have no one over which
to assert my dominance. But there's a little bit to doe.

Speaker 16 (29:12):
Poo pee pee, poo, poo poo. I like to do too,
poo poo, pee pe poo, poo, poo, pee pee poo, poo,
pee pee pee pee poo, poo, poo, oh, pee peep.
What I like to do pee pee poo, peep, pe poo,
poo poo. I like to doo too, poo poo pee
bee pooh.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
That's right, Alan, please conveyed the cat. I adore the
fact that she's so educated. I'm living for. This is
what the person says. She really is. You know, I
joke about it, but I consider myself a relatively intelligent guid.
She comes in here with her master's degrees and her

(29:52):
bettering herself, bettering herself rob the audacity, the unmitigated gall
the temerity. Alan's just you talking about yawning made me yawn.
See usually just me talking makes people yawn. I don't

(30:13):
even have to be talking about yawning. Alan. I like
my women, like I like my coffee ground up and
in the freezer. Oh I don't care for that boy.
Oh my goodness, did you see what they did there?
Holy cow? Alan, Please ask Kat what she will do
with those degrees. She's on the phone, I think, Oh,

(30:34):
somebody asks what you will do with those? My son
has a master's, he's going for his doctorate, and I'm
still worried he won't make what I do as a
phone company linesman. You could always be a phone company
lines woman.

Speaker 11 (30:47):
Well, you know, we'll see. I'm done with my degrees
at the end of the year, and you know you
guys got to stay tuned for that. I can't give
it all away right now.

Speaker 1 (30:57):
See, that's what's called a tease in the business. She's
a fast learner, Rob, It's called a tease. Just by
the end of the year. Okay, what do you hope
to do.

Speaker 4 (31:12):
Well?

Speaker 11 (31:12):
I mean, I really do enjoy events, and I enjoy
marketing and branding and design. So I essentially want to
help create amazing experiences, extraordinary immersive experiences, whether that's digital
experiences or live events.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
You came to the right place. You want to talk
about amazing events, Rob, being created right here? Oh yeah,
amazing events all right, good place to cut your teeth.

Speaker 11 (31:39):
Yeah, creative production and performance is the goal.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
I'll tell you what, when I get Cockstock off the ground,
I've been talking about it for the better part of
a dozen years. But when I get Cockstock, my massive
smooth jazz festival going, we're gonna have all the greats.
Kenny G. Anytime there's any time I'm Kenny G is mentioned,
and I have to be careful an angel gets their wings,

(32:08):
and so once I go, I'm really going to be
able to avail myself of Cat's expertise in this area. Now,
whether or not I can get Kenny G to play,
whether or not I can get him to play Cockstock,
remains to be seen. Get who to play, I'm not

(32:31):
gonna fall for I'm not gonna say Kenny G when
you're just because you're trying to get me to do it.
But uh yeah, okay. But again, I don't think that
that's a reason you people go, oh, what are they
going to do with that? I don't think that's a
reason to not follow your bliss right to be somebody

(32:56):
who's out there moving and shaking, sometimes simultaneous. So anyway,
the contagious peeing there with the chimpanzees, just to bring
it full circle. Also, you know, I lived in Pittsburgh
for many years. This is documented and I don't know
if they still have the anthrow Con there, but they

(33:17):
did for a number of years. Anthrow Con is the
biggest furry convention in the United States. I think years
before that it might have been in Philly. I don't
remember where it initially was, but for many years it
was in Pittsburgh David L. Lawrence Convention Center, right down
there on one of the rivers, and I remember a

(33:37):
couple of years. I was only there for a couple
of years when it was in town, but when anthro
Con Weekend was happening, if you went downtown, you feel
like you were on acid because everywhere you looked it
was people in furry costumes. And now they have this
in I don't know if it's the main anthro Con,
but they have different furry conventions all over the world,
and one of those is in Glasgow. They have one

(33:59):
in Scotland, but they have a lot of rules in place.
You know, these furry conventions are dismissed by a lot
of people as just being sexual in nature, and obviously
there is some of that. There's an element of sex
in every human endeavor, for better or worse. But just
because you're dressing up like Sonic to Hedgehog doesn't mean

(34:24):
that you're trying to You might just like doing it.
But in Glasgow they have a lot of rules and
they say that chief among them is they don't want
people to discriminate against others on account of their species.
Now they get about twelve hundred people here and it's
usually like in the ballroom of a Marriott or something,

(34:44):
you know, depending on where it is. But they won't
tolerate any kind of harassment based on what the other
person is dressed as. So if you're out there as
a big blue beaver and somebody else is walking a
around dressed like a cat, they don't want anybody. They
have to you have to abide by these rules as

(35:08):
they've set them down. If oh, this is at the
Crown Plaza in Glasgow, so they're like, we don't want
any kind of anything approaching beast reality. We don't want
anything that looks like cross species. And they said toilet
related activities are highly discouraged. You know, some people want

(35:29):
to And by the way, if you've ever been in
one of these costumes, I did a bit many many
years ago, where I walked around in one of these costumes.
You'll wish you didn't have a nose. I'm like, you guys,
ever hose these out or it's like a mascot costume. Right,
So the toilet related activities are highly discouraged. That includes scat,

(35:53):
water sports, adult diapers, and vomit. They want nothing to
do with any of those there. But other than that,
they're like, hey, let your freak flag fly out here.
At the Glasgow Furry Convention.

Speaker 5 (36:10):
It sounds like they blocked things like well, you said
no inner species stuff right right, so if you're there.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
They can't. They can't wear fetish gear, they can't wear
anatomically correct animal costumes. Let's say you were gonna dress.
You determined what the best hung animal is and you're like,
that's what I'm going as. I'm going as the h
I don't know, elephant, the kangaroo rat. Proportionally speaking, the

(36:38):
kangaroo rat might be the best hung animal in the
animal kingdom. We don't know that. Proportion it to its body.
You can't do any of that stuff. And so boy,
they're really it's almost as though they're trying to dissuade
people from doing this. Forget what I was saying. So
anyway you go into the Furry Convention, don't don't tack

(37:01):
a big hog on you your cause there at least
if you're going to Scotland. The alley Cock Show podcast
will be right back.

Speaker 5 (37:10):
Who needs broadcasting Awards?

Speaker 4 (37:13):
I like the sound of my voice.

Speaker 5 (37:14):
Ball when you've won World Sexiest and five years in
a row.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
On seven WMMS. There's a lot of very funny people
coming over the past are the coming weeks.

Speaker 9 (37:41):
I got.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
A lot of them coming on the show. I'll talk
to Tim Heidecker here in a minute. He is doing
a show with the beach Linn Ballroom tomorrow night. The
Slipping Away Tour is him and he's playing with his
band and doing some comedy. It will be the final
appearance of one Neil Hamburger. If you're a Neil Hamburger fan.

(38:04):
He'll close it all out here in Cleveland. I think
Jeremy Piven is going to be on the show. I
haven't talked to him in quite some time. He's doing
a show with the Agora on March the twentieth. Of course,
our friend Sebastian Maniscalco is in town on Friday as well.
Of course he's doing the Romo Fijo. He's an arena
comic now and that'll be a good show too. Be

(38:27):
fun to see him. So yeah, a lot of funny
people on the show over the next few weeks. I
have more money for you in about seven or eight minutes.
Listen for that next keyword to grab a thousand bucks
from the buzzard bookie. The Calves are killing it right now.
They had a huge win over the MAVs their first

(38:51):
post Luca game, and they got beat by what forty
three points I guess, but they probably would have gotten
beaten even if he had been there, to have been
by forty three points.

Speaker 5 (39:01):
But yeah, I mean they scored ninety one points in
the first half, so yes, I would say you're going
to lose that game.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
Yeah, now coming back from that, but we'll see what
the Boston Celtics do tonight. It's Kevin McHale and the
Boston Celtics on the floor at the Romo Fijo tonight.
That's a seven thirty tip off seven o'clock pregame coverage
begins here on MMS and you can also listen on
the iHeartRadio app. And then the Calves will hit the
road for a bit. They'll go to Detroit, they'll go

(39:28):
to DC to play the Wizards on Friday before they
come back home. And remember, you can use the promo
code Arcade for twenty percent off at cl Clothing Company
or whatever you want to get, including a Buzzard merch
We're always dropping new pieces. There's a pretty sweet world
series of rock t shirt. There's the what is it

(39:50):
the buzzard through the decades. Yeah, yeah, various iterations of
the buzzard, fifty plus years of the iconic MMS map Scott.
I use Arcade for twenty percent off all this month, allan.
The most hung animal by proportion is the tape here.

(40:11):
You know what a tape here is. You see a
tape pier. It's like a giant mammal. They look like pigs. Now,
I can neither confirm nor deny what this person is
telling me that that is the best hung animal proportionately
in the animal kingdom. Maybe this is just a random
fact that they have that they can conjure up at

(40:32):
a moment's notice. But I said elephant.

Speaker 5 (40:34):
But that was me thinking as a human, right, Yeah,
maybe yeah, that's probably all.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
I well, that's kind of why I was like proportionately,
you know what I mean, Like if there's a if
there's a small animal that is a huge hok. Yeah,
I mean it's it would still be tiny to us,
but to them, it's like three times the size of
its body. Yeah, something along those lines. A third of
its body.

Speaker 9 (40:55):
Wait.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
Yeah, and who wants that? I mean, really, who wants that?
No one? Oh, I don't want to call anyone out.
I don't want to put anyone on your radar. But
I was coming into work this morning and the morning
anchors from WTAM were still on the air, and one

(41:19):
in particular had his You know, they have a couple
of monitors. The WTAM news department is on the same
floor as us. We're just all on one floor, but
they're separated by floor to ceiling glass and so not
just for esthetic purposes, it's so that you know, when
there's breaking news, they can go ham and not worry

(41:43):
about it filtering out to the rest of the sweep.
But one of their morning news anchors, when I walked in,
because the employee door is right back there, had his
screensaver up. He had his two monitors. One of them
was the news ticker he was in between reports, and
the other one was a screensaver. His screensaver full screen

(42:04):
was a black and white photo of Jimmy Buffett in
the Oval office yucking it up with Jimmy Carter and
Walter Mondale.

Speaker 9 (42:14):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Now I mentioned this because it made me chuckle when
I walked in this morning. I was like, Oh, I
got to tell Rob about this, But I will not
tell you whose uh computer that was? I can.

Speaker 5 (42:27):
I can guess. If I guess, will you tell me?
I don't even have to say name. Does he sit
closest to the employee exit, Yes, I mean that's how
I saw it. But does he wear a baseball jersey
on the day every day?

Speaker 9 (42:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (42:47):
He does, yes, And he's got an amazing voice, fantastic.
I'm hanging on by my fingernails at this place. I
have to I it is exhausting trying to make up
for my lack of great pipes by trying to be
interesting because everybody around me. And this sounds ridiculous. Right

(43:08):
old school radio, it was the other way around. You
didn't have to have anything interesting to say. You just
had to have an amazing voice. It's all took. Well,
I don't have an amazing voice. So I've spent thirty
years trying to be interesting. Now I'm surrounded by people
who have these just these pipes. You him, that's two.

Speaker 5 (43:29):
None of us had anything to say, though, Well I
just replied to Crack. Why sometimes on things you say.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
Nevertheless, yes, that's him, and he had Now again, that
might I certainly don't want to impugne his musical taste.
That might be something that just came up. He's not
the only one who uses that news station, that that
computer broadcast station. It changes with your login.

Speaker 17 (43:55):
That's oh, if you did it, it would be whatever
you wanted.

Speaker 5 (43:59):
He clearly that's a picture of one James Buffett in
the White House.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
Well, I don't know if you have a pre existing
relationship with him, but I certainly hope that this won't
sour it.

Speaker 5 (44:10):
Not really, Okay, you know, I'll still remain cordial. Yeah, okay,
I mean you think you know a guy, I'll say
that much.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
He's been there for quite a while. Yeah, he was.
He was there when we were all back at oak Tree.

Speaker 5 (44:22):
I was with I talked to him at length daily
when I was coming in the morning every day we'd talk.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Never once, never came up in conversation.

Speaker 5 (44:32):
I can't believe I tell everybody that I know that
I hate Jimmy Buffett.

Speaker 4 (44:35):
That's not right.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Well, if anybody, I mean, I've known you for a
couple of years now, and I didn't know that until
we got into it on the show here, Well, you
didn't know how bad you knew that I hated him. Yeah,
that's true. I mean, I'm pretty open about it.

Speaker 5 (44:48):
I didn't understand the depths. Yeah, no, it's it's uh,
it ain't good. I do realize I probably should work
on it. I probably have too much of a disdain
for him.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
Now it did it at all give you pause that
Kat was being so diplomatic about him, She was taking
the tack that well, as an artist, I need to
keep an open mind, all kinds of blah blah blah.

Speaker 5 (45:14):
Well, listen to her speak, and she's sitting there telling
you she's getting her second master's degree.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
I'm gonna try and outwit that. Absolutely not. By the way,
that's racist. I believe it's called something else. Now, Okay,
the master's stupid. I don't know. Didn't they have feel
like it's like Jesus Christ, what do they say now? No, Like,
didn't real estate agents have to change the name of
the master bedroom. I think that might have been like
a meme or something. I don't know that that ever

(45:39):
was actually a thing.

Speaker 11 (45:41):
But I'm the youngest child of immigrant parents, so I
had to learn how to keep the peace.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
That's awesome, youngest child. Did we talk about your siblings?

Speaker 11 (45:52):
I have two older sisters.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
Two older so, oh, your parents have three girls. Is
there a big age difference or is it? Boom boom boom?

Speaker 11 (46:00):
My oldest sister is seven years older than me. My
middle sister is four years older than me.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
You guys all get along. Yeah, okay, are they as
accomplished as you are? Well, okay to say.

Speaker 11 (46:12):
No, they are very accomplished, all right. And my middle sister,
she's actually a dermato pathologist, so she's a sub skian thing. Yeah.
So she's a dermatologist and she did pathology residency, so
she is a sub specialist. So super niche dermatologist doctor.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Wow, it makes me wish I had some kind of
skin condition. I'm the artist. What's the middle one?

Speaker 11 (46:39):
Do she's the middle one?

Speaker 4 (46:40):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (46:40):
What's the oldest.

Speaker 11 (46:41):
Yeah, my oldest one. She is in business. She's an entrepreneur.
She has a company in Cleveland called Kaphelia. It's a
coffee company. It's kind of like coffee wallet. You go
to different coffee shops and uh, you kind of have
a subscription where you can different coffee coffee shops in town.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
So Rob, I won't tell you what I referred to
as my coffee wallet. Oh it's a stupid Oh boy.
More than six but fewer than ten minutes with Tim Heidecker,

(47:25):
who's going to be at the Beachland Ballroom tomorrow night
on the Slipping Away Tour. Hey Tim, Hey Allen, how
are you man?

Speaker 9 (47:32):
I'm doing really good.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
First off, kudos on the last season of What We
Do in the Shadows. That was a show that I
was madly in love with. And to see you pop
up in the last season. Was this a little bit
of icing on the cake? My man?

Speaker 9 (47:48):
Oh, that's very nice.

Speaker 7 (47:49):
I was happy to do it, happy to be of
service to the television community.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
I get a little bit of happy whiplash talking to you,
because I'm not quite sure where to start those people.
I came to you with Tim and Eric back in
the day, and you guys have done things since then,
but you've kind of been able to do a lot
of what you want to do and still have other
people go, we like you for what we've got to do,

(48:14):
and it all feels like it works.

Speaker 7 (48:16):
Well, it's it's working. It's a little chaotic. It's kind
of a mess. If you look at my calendar, it's
a little hard to keep track of what I'm doing
months to months.

Speaker 9 (48:26):
But yeah, I've you know, been able to do.

Speaker 7 (48:31):
My side I don't know, I don't call I don't
I shouldn't consider them side projects. They're you know, my
personal projects that that are coming from me and coming
from my brain. And then you know, some great talented
people out there occasionally asked me to be a part
of their thing, and it's usually you know, I do

(48:53):
audition for things sometimes, and it's like they're things that
you audition for you never get because yeah, it's just
like somebody's got to fill a quota of well, we
got to have forty people auditioned for this, so let's
let's let's ask that guy. But when I do get things,
it's usually from people that know what I what I
do and are funny people or good people, not that

(49:15):
the other people aren't good people, but yeah, it's just
it's kind of worked out nice.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
I'm enough of a comedy and movie and TV nerd
where when I see people pop up in things, I'll
be like, Okay, did they audition for this? Did they know?
I remember when I saw us in the theater years
ago and you popped up in it, and I go, Okay,
did he audition for this? Does Jordan Peele know him?
Do they operate in similar circles? It's a dumb game

(49:41):
that I play with myself. At the end of the day,
it doesn't really matter because to see you, to see
you in different things is great. I would think there's
a part of that creative chaos that you have to cultivate.

Speaker 9 (49:52):
Yeah, I mean it is, there is for that.

Speaker 7 (49:55):
For us, it was a case of just Jordan knowing
me and have you seen me in something else and liking,
you know, kind of writing the part with me in mine.
So I don't really understand any of that. It's I
get it's like it's a little like winning some kind
of sweepstakes to me in my mind, but I know
it's merit based to some degree.

Speaker 9 (50:15):
But you know, I am grateful for it.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
When you and Eric decided or maybe it was decided
for you, I don't know as far as adults WIM went.
When it was decided that you guys were kinda that
show was going to end. Was it a was it
a matter of the two of you saying, well, we
each kind of we did this for a while, but
now we each kind of want to do different things.
Or was it let's just go and do different things

(50:41):
and then come back and see if we like working
together again.

Speaker 9 (50:44):
Yeah, I think it was more of the latter.

Speaker 7 (50:46):
I think in the case of Awesome Show, we really
were big fans of the British model of television, which
is you don't do one hundreds, you don't do hundreds
of you don't you know, you don't keep it going
and going and going.

Speaker 9 (50:59):
You want like an like a singular body of work
that stands on its own. And we didn't want to.

Speaker 7 (51:05):
Make a bad season, you know, and we actually wanted
to make a movie, which we went and did. We
made a movie, and then yeah, we just you know,
we get antsy and we want to try different things.
And I think through some of those down periods, each
of us individually, you know, expanded our wings and found

(51:27):
our own individuality because in those first ten years of
few and stuff together, they're really I think both of
us kind of lost our individuality a little bit because
we were this block. We were Tim and Eric, like
I was Tim and Eric. Eric was not Eric.

Speaker 9 (51:44):
It was Tim and Eric.

Speaker 14 (51:46):
So it was.

Speaker 7 (51:46):
Good for us to get up. But we're still close
and working on a couple of things right now. But
you know, it's it's kind.

Speaker 9 (51:56):
Of the way it goes.

Speaker 7 (51:57):
I'm such a student of like partnership some bands and
comedy troops and stuff. I like, you have to I know,
there's so much history now you can read about, you know,
how how the Python guys did it, or how the
kids in the hall work and stuff. So try to
be aware of like how to make that relationship, like
how to make it a healthy relationship without you know,

(52:20):
feeling like you have to do things together.

Speaker 9 (52:23):
But it's like with every relationship.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
Or so that you don't end up hating each other too.
I mean that's a good you know, a lot of
using the analogy of bands, there's a lot of great
creative energy that comes from Unfortunately people who end up
hating each other's guts has that you've been making music
as long as you've been making comedy, and clearly it's
it's important to you. Tim Heidecker and the Very Good
Band are playing the Beachland Ballroom tomorrow night with Neil

(52:47):
Hamburger and some surprise guests. This is a slipping away
tour and Tim, it looks like it's going to be
everything that any any fan of yours would want. There's
going to be comedy and music and god knows what else,
and uh, it looks like it's going to be a
really good time.

Speaker 9 (53:03):
Well, I think you're right.

Speaker 7 (53:04):
It has been. It has been very fun. We're about
two weeks into the tour. Every show is a little different.
We keep adding bits and pieces, and there's I sort
of reshuffled with the idea of like a rock show.
I've sort of blown up the show flow thing with

(53:26):
the classic opening.

Speaker 9 (53:27):
Act and then the.

Speaker 7 (53:29):
Headliner and all that crap, and it's like we're just
it's a night from beginning to end where where music's
going and there's comedy, and there's there's a feeling that
you're in a is a singular experience that is going
to be different. The night before it's gonna be different,
you know, when when we move on to the next town.

Speaker 9 (53:49):
It's a beautiful thing. I'm having so much fun.

Speaker 7 (53:52):
This band is so good, Neil Hamburger is so funny,
and I'm just kind of up there keeping all the
place spinning.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
Is the implication that the Cleveland show tomorrow night is
Neil Hamburger writing off into the sunset after it? Is
this the last will and testament for Greg?

Speaker 7 (54:09):
You know what, It's true, and it's very sad, but
we're picking up DJ Doug Pound, who is also very
funny when we move on to Pittsburgh.

Speaker 9 (54:18):
But we've had this beautiful week and you know, not
this doesn't.

Speaker 7 (54:23):
Really apply to the audiences, but we get to Greg
and I get to spend so much time together.

Speaker 9 (54:29):
On the road.

Speaker 7 (54:29):
Here we're writing nice stuff for on Cinema, which we
do together.

Speaker 9 (54:34):
Every night.

Speaker 7 (54:35):
I mean, the other night, I don't want to reveal anything,
but I'm sitting on the bus and we're talking about
something and it just turns into one of those things
where I'm crying, laughing and on the you know, it's like, yeah,
it's just the best time, and you know, not to
be selfish about it, but half of tour is having
these experiences with these people and and just it's.

Speaker 9 (54:55):
So productive and fun and a beautiful thing.

Speaker 1 (54:59):
Well it's good energy that you can carry on to
the stage and off the stage, which probably makes it
such a fun time exactly.

Speaker 7 (55:06):
Yeah, there's a real like our keyboard player Michael Jorgensen,
who's happens to be in a band called Wilco Yeah,
and is doing this sort of as a side as
a little favor for us. But I look over and
this is the true for Ellie and Connor and Josh,
Like we're all just laughing up there, and I'm trying
to make them laugh and it's not all jokes, but

(55:28):
there is this feeling of like everybody you're looking at
on stage is really happy to be there, and we
get to get a real charge out of each other.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
Tim Hidecker in the Very Good Band, This show is
tomorrow night. I would immediately try to get tickets for
this at the Beachland Ballroom tomorrow night. There's also no
shortage of Neil Hamburger fans, and so you're gonna want
to see him one last time and all of the
just based on who's in it. The Very Good Band
is very aptly named. But Tim and his gang will

(55:58):
be at the Beachland tomorrow night. This is the Slipping
Away tour and then they'll move on to Pittsburgh after that.
But the Beachland Ballroom. You can go online go to
Tim Highdecker live dot com as well to get the information.
But I would absolutely scoop tickets up for this tomorrow night,
that is Wednesday night at the Beachland Ballroom. Tim, I
appreciate your time, Pal. I hope we'll get to talk again.

(56:19):
Good luck on the road and continue to have fun. Man,
I appreciate your time.

Speaker 9 (56:22):
Thank you, great to talk to you. Take care, Cleveland.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
Helen Carr Show, WMMS, Buzzard Radio Allen cos.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
A drummer being the real musician.

Speaker 18 (56:44):
He just makes a noise if he played the violin
or the piano, and that made sense, but the drums.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
I was a highwayman along the coach roads.

Speaker 4 (57:05):
I did ride the sword.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
And pistol by my side.

Speaker 11 (57:13):
Many a young man.

Speaker 4 (57:15):
Lost her bottles to my tree.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
Many a soldier ship his life blood on my blae
the master telling me in the spring of twenty mine.

Speaker 4 (57:31):
I'm still alive.

Speaker 9 (57:37):
I was a sailor.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
I was born both. Unbelievably, Willie is the only one
still alive from the Highway Ben Chris Christofferson died not
long ago, Johnny Cash had been dead for a while,
Whaling's been gone for a bit. Willie's ninety one ninety two.
You're gonna go to this the Outlaw Music Pestoval. I'd

(58:01):
like to go.

Speaker 5 (58:01):
Too, only because again I'm running out of opportunities to
see him.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
Yes, you know, although that is the Electric Forest weekend,
So who knows my birthday weekend? Rob the world is
my oyster. Squeeze it all in, get all of it done,
I really should. How long is that festival? It's all weekend.
It's in Michigan too. Oh yeah, as well, we'll see

(58:28):
who knows what will happen. But yeah, I don't even
know if Willie performs the Highwayman. I mean, it's such
an iconic song with those other three guys that but
I don't know, but it's just such a fantastic song,
A little snapshot of these guys. You know, these guys
would go out on tours, the Highwaymen, maybe playing goddamn

(58:50):
football stadiums back in the late eighties early nineties. The
Cavaliers are playing tonight. They are hosting the Boston Celtics
at the Remo Fijo. You know, that's where the Calves play.
It's right around the corner from us. As a matter
of fact, we went to a game, golly, last week.
We had our staff Calves game on Thursday night. That

(59:14):
would have been a nice place to introduce cats everybody.
But she wasn't on the show yet. I know, and
I bet you would have been more than happy to
send her in your stead. No, I had a breast.
I had fun. You did.

Speaker 5 (59:26):
It was great. I mean, you know, all half hour
of you know, Oh that's true. You can put it
half an hour in any anything. Yeah, I did more
I did. It was more about an hour, okay. And
then I had to air quote pee.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
Right, yeah, just like the chimpanzees, that's right, became contagious.
Somebody next to you said, oh, I gotta go, I
gotta go see a man about a horse. And then
that to be able to say that anymore. It's like
an old timey thing, isn't it. All these euphemisms for
I gotta go see a man about a horse. I

(01:00:01):
never understood what that meant. But because You know, if
you listen to this show and you go, I need
to go field dress a groundhog. We know what that means.
It's got nothing to do with peeing adjacent I guess.
But anyway, Celtic's Calves tonight seven thirty tip off at
the Romo Fijo thirty minutes prior seven o'clock is your

(01:00:23):
pregame coverage. Calves will hit the road for a couple
of games, Detroit tomorrow night to play the Lowly Pistons,
and then Friday night they'll be in DC to play
the Wizards, and then they'll come back home on Monday.
Oh let me throw this one at you here. You
ever go into a wings stop? I didn't realize these

(01:00:44):
were still around. I know there's one in like West Park.
I think they just opened one in Dina, did they really? Yeah,
there's a wingstop at like Lorraine and Lorraine in something.
A wingstop, man. You know, you really out of Bob
and Weave these days when you go to one of
these restaurants, Because sometimes it's the customers yelling at the

(01:01:09):
people behind the counter, sometimes it's the people working there
yelling at the customers, and sometimes it's the people working
there fighting with each other. That's the crazy thing. People
are so tense and angry working these kinds of jobs,
and I'm making a lot of money. They're treated very

(01:01:33):
poorly by a lot of the customers. The nineteen year
old wingstop manager that shows you where you are, she's
the manager and she's nineteen. They're like, we can't find
anybody else to do this, and you've been here for
a month. That means you get your pin. She's looking

(01:01:53):
at a felony wrap.

Speaker 12 (01:01:54):
Now.

Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
This is in Florida, Port Saint Lucy, and she got
angry with a couple of customers, one of whom was
a minor so a little bit just a little bit
younger than her, and they were loud and they were
causing trouble and I don't know if they were drunk
or whatever it was, but this girl, the nineteen year

(01:02:18):
old manager of the wingstop, was really upset with him,
and she threw ranch dressing at them, I guess, but
wasn't happy with that result and wanted something a little more,
really get a point across. So she walked back and
she grabbed a thing of hot grease and threw that

(01:02:40):
at the uh. The people that were causing trouble. Oh
my god, hot grease. It's like a horror movie right
where they like, remember when Rorschak was in prison and watchman,
I'm not stuck in here with you. You're trapped in
here with me. You know. He grabs the hot grease
and throws it in the other inmates face. Guy starts

(01:03:02):
melting off. I don't know if it rose to the
level of that, but and what a waste of hot grease.
That's my biggest concern. Well, that's what I'm saying. I mean,
it's a wing joint, right, I don't know how they
prepare these. I'm not a wing guy. But you come back,
you go, you know what, because you have to make
a split second decision there if you're angry and you

(01:03:23):
can't modulate your emotions or your reactions to things, even
if you're in a managerial position. So she goes, I
don't think whipping plastic ramikins of ranch and you neer
do wells is enough. Guess what I got up my sleeve,
goes back there and grabs the grease trap whatever. Although

(01:03:46):
it says she admitted when the cops showed up, she
sprayed ranch dressing on the customers. Now, to me, the
ranch would be worse than the hot grease. Obviously there's
a temperature differential. Nobody wants hot grease. But oh my
goodness to be spread with ranch, because then you've got
to walk out into the hot Florida sun and have
people not knowing what happened, and you have to tell

(01:04:08):
everyone this is ranch, you know, lest they think you're
shooting something for OnlyFans back there. And then the cops
were like, the hell happened here? And she said that
they were being verbally abusive. Again, the reaction doesn't seem
to commensurate with people being you know, just people yelling

(01:04:33):
things at you. But she said she missed them with
the oil, the victims claimed otherwise. Was there any physical
injuries that they yeah? Yeah. The crime scene investigator photographed
their injuries. Both of the patrons had a shiny, burnt skin,

(01:04:54):
according to the cops, and the floor of the wings
stop was covered. It was all greasy and slippery, is
what they said.

Speaker 5 (01:05:06):
Imagine you're the next guy in line, just watch your
goddamn wings is standing there watching this happen. You're like,
come on, yeah, like what now, No, don't throw that
my wings are in there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
Oh come on, now, what am I gonna do? Now
I'm covered in ranch and you're on a celery. I'm
still I assume that's what they do. So they arrested
the nineteen year old manager and she posted bond. They

(01:05:38):
set her bond at fifteen thousand dollars. So she scrounged
up fifteen hundred bucks and got herself out of there.
But she's looking at a felony there. And boy, I'll
tell you what, it can't do the wings Stop company
any good to look at a story like that, because
they're like, ah, dag nab itsume that's what they would say,

(01:06:01):
dag nabbot. Did you strike me as dag nabbit? Folks? Yeah,
I'll tell you what though, if you're in the stock market, wingstop,
don't sleep on Wingstop. It's like three hundred bucks a share. Really, yeah,
I mean they must be owned by a bigger company.
I don't know that I've ever met a person who
aided a wingstop, but that's just anecdotal.

Speaker 5 (01:06:22):
Nice to meet you, all right, My girls, they don't
they don't have like wing wings.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
It's just boneless. Oh is that what it is?

Speaker 4 (01:06:30):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
They're glorified nuggets. Right. Oh, but yeah, I mean the
only one I know. Yeah, okay, so I guess they're
all over, but there's one at The one I remember
is the one on Lorraine Avenue, and then Lakewood and
Brooklyn and okay, so these are all over the place,
all right.

Speaker 5 (01:06:47):
Maybe it's just the one near me that didn't. Maybe
they opened without it. But my kids told me that
you couldn't get bone bone in wings. They had to
get the bone bone in wings.

Speaker 14 (01:06:56):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:06:57):
See, My question is what differentiates a place like that?

Speaker 16 (01:07:00):
Then?

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
Is it just what they call it? Because there are
plenty of places that'll sell you chicken tenders, So what
the hell's the difference? If I go, oh, these are
boneless wings, which is just what meat that's mashed into
a shape.

Speaker 5 (01:07:15):
Well, this says there are bone in wings. You can
buy classic in parentheses bone in.

Speaker 11 (01:07:20):
Yeah, they have good bone in wings.

Speaker 1 (01:07:22):
Oh, well, there you go. It also sounds like the name.
All right, so I should have gone directly to cat
They have good bone in wings.

Speaker 11 (01:07:31):
That's the only thing I get there.

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
And you can actually ask you've got a wing stop too?

Speaker 11 (01:07:35):
Yeah, I've gone. It's it's really good, all right, it's
pretty good.

Speaker 1 (01:07:40):
I mean, isn't there a B Dubs right behind us here? Yeah?
I always forget it's there. I've never right across Prospect
there's a B Dubs. Only time I was ever in well,
I shouldn't say only time. The last time I was
in a B Dubs. A friend of mine from out
of town was here for a show at the Romo
Fiho last summer, and so I met her over there

(01:08:00):
for like a drink before she was going to the
show when Timberlake was in town. She came in for
the timber Lake show and I'm like, oh, my station's
right there. I'm doing some work. Anyway, we'll come over
have a couple of pops. But before that, the only
reason I went was because they were carrying It was
the only place carrying a specific mountain dew that dropped

(01:08:22):
that summer, the summer my dad died, and there was
a B Dubs near my brother's house, and I needed
to get away from everything. I just needed a minute.
I needed to go sit by myself and eat something
that I knew it would be terrible for me, and
suck down whatever purple mountain dew they had. And it
was pretty good. I won't lie. It's pretty good. But

(01:08:45):
I forget that that be Duves is always back here.
But I I don't. I didn't get wings. I'm sorry
I didn't answer your question.

Speaker 5 (01:09:00):
How do I like my wings on someone else's plate?

Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
Not existent? Cat's like goddamn, all right, fine, no, I
gotta I gotta. What did I get? I can get wings?
I got like a hammer, you know, they got other stuff.
It seems silly, but again I went for the Mountain
Dew because Mountain Dew's always dropping these flavors at like

(01:09:24):
one place, right. They're pretty slick with that, like, hey,
you gotta go here if you want this one, you
gotta go here if you want this one. And that
summer it was at B Dubs they go, hey, we
got some purple crap. That's only there.

Speaker 5 (01:09:39):
I go, okay, But you always find yourself going back
to the og mountain deuce.

Speaker 1 (01:09:43):
I do because I gotta try them. Is there ever
have you had one where you're like, okay, that's the one,
the purple Thunder. Usually you just get it at Circle K,
but they had a different one at B Dubs that
was okay. There's a couple for me that were a
misfire KFC. A couple of summers Ago had like a

(01:10:05):
peach and honey one that, even for mountain dew, was
so unbelievably sweet. I took a couple of SIPs and
that was it. But like you had to go to
a Dollar General a couple of summers Ago to get
this pineapple one in a can. So I walked in
there for that. So they're not bad, you know. There

(01:10:25):
was like a cotton candy flavored one at Speedway or something.
I was in Michigan last summer and I just dipped
in to get some water on my road trip. But
I walk up to the cooler and they got some
exclusive mountain dew. I go, I get that is the.

Speaker 5 (01:10:43):
Like mountain I'm only a man, is there like mountain dew?
Smallier's that are like really get the note of me mountain? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
I feel it in the back of my Yeah. I'm
picking up. I'm getting the peach. I'm getting the peach
back to the og. Yep, back to the og. Then
I spit it back into the can. That's right, I go,
m oh, I'm getting Oh, I'm getting notes of red
number five. I'm getting notes of r DNC yellow number six.

(01:11:18):
Gotten quite good at figuring those out. All right, Well, listen,
everybody's blowing me up now. They're like, hey, love wing stuff,
So okay, I'll have to try it again. Then I
guess I just fell for it. Alan, I've been working
in kitchens for over thirty years. One time we found
a dead rat floating floating in a deep fry at

(01:11:38):
a local restaurant I was working at. The owner was
so cheap he told us to just fish it out,
throw it away, and turn it up to five hundred
for a little while instead of throwing away the oil.
That's a true story. Yeah, I never I never worked
fast food. I worked fine dining when I was in
high school and partly into college. But friends of mine

(01:12:01):
that worked in fast food, they would all have individual
horror stories. And the one that stuck out to me was,
you know, we all know by now how infrequently the
shake machines are cleaned, because I guess there are a
real pain in the ass, Like there are companies that
have to come do it. Whatever you go through the
drive through. It might be a little better now, but

(01:12:22):
back in the day, you know, you drive through and
you would just have to ask them, hey, are the
shakes working, because you know, most of the time it
wouldn't be. And a buddy of mine was working at
a fast food joint. I don't won't call them out,
but it's one that still exists. And he's like, yeah,
I quit because they wanted me to clean out the
shake machine. And I opened it up and there was
a hornet's nest in there. Oh. And he's like, now,

(01:12:45):
we hadn't made shakes obviously for a while because the
thing was broken. That's what we told everybody. He goes,
But when it finally got to the point where they
demanded we clean it out, he goes, I opened it
up and there was a hornet's nest in there, and
I took off my Ape Brennan hat and walked. Another
friend of mine. This is like high school, right, another
front of your sixteen seventeen years old. Another friend of

(01:13:07):
mine was like, yeah, I quit because I walked in
and another guy who was mad at another employee, dropped
trow and took a dump right in the work sink. Oh,
whoa in the slop sink there or whatever? Right, and
he goes, that was enough for me. Again, this is
not this could happen anywhere. Those are just the stories

(01:13:27):
that I know.

Speaker 5 (01:13:28):
I don't know if that could happen anywhere, dude. I mean,
I've worked in a lot of places. I worked a
lot of jobs before I got full time in the radio.
I've never seen someone crap in a utility sink.

Speaker 1 (01:13:37):
Ever. That's a special kind of mad right there. Really is.

Speaker 5 (01:13:43):
How mad you have to be at somebody to be like,
you know what, I've had more than enough.

Speaker 1 (01:13:47):
I'm not gonna say anything anymore.

Speaker 5 (01:13:49):
I Am going to defecate right here, right now in
that sink and let somebody else clean it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
Would know what I'm gonna do right now. I'm going
to before follow all this entire establishment. That is just
beyond anything I could imagine. That's a flex Yeah, that's
like a half baked F you. You're cool, f you.

Speaker 5 (01:14:14):
It's even worse than that, Like you like, oh sir,
what happened at your last job?

Speaker 1 (01:14:17):
I crapped in the sink. I'm going to think about
moving on to the next thing. Yeah, that might be
the best flex quit of all time, best slash worst? Right,
how'd you quit? He wouldn't believe me if I told you?
Did you just say I resigned my position kind of,

(01:14:39):
although I didn't let my mouth do the talk. Not
so many, not as many words, no, nope. But imagine
the person who sticks around and goes, all right, uh,
it's time to figure this out. You talk to your manager.
I'll take care of this if you pay me triple time. Right,
pay me triple time. This new ever gets out, but

(01:15:01):
never tell anybody. There's some haggling to be done there.
The problem solver shows up on the scene. Look, cleaner
just puts his hands on his hips.

Speaker 5 (01:15:10):
Yep, Well we got ourselves a problem here.

Speaker 1 (01:15:13):
You gonna have to take that thing out. You have
to clean that stick, You have to dispose of it.
You do we just do?

Speaker 5 (01:15:18):
You just flush it once you take it out, You
just take it the other room.

Speaker 1 (01:15:21):
And yeah, he sans, here goes it's a real heater,
isn't it. Uh Well, uh, he's Winston Wolf, he's Harvey
Kaitel in pulp fiction. He comes in. That would have
been me if I had been in that situation, that
would have been me. Because you have ultimately, what you
do there is you leap frog everyone else. You know,

(01:15:44):
you're just a grunt. Everyone above you is like I'm
not touching that, and you walk in, I'll do it.
Let I'll take care of this. And then when word
gets around they go to the manager, did you fix this? Nope?
Who fixed it? That guy over there and they come
to you and they go, do you do that?

Speaker 9 (01:16:03):
Sure? Dead.

Speaker 5 (01:16:05):
The story evolves over time, ends up being like people
telling the story years later.

Speaker 9 (01:16:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:16:10):
And then that guy went over and bare handed grabbed it,
took it out and just said this is how you
succeed in fast food.

Speaker 1 (01:16:18):
That's right, walked it to the can. This one guy
in the late eighties, this kid from high school. He
comes in. This guy, he didn't even give it a
second thought. He's hillbilly handfishing right into that slop sink.
You know who that guy is.

Speaker 5 (01:16:36):
That guy is the president of this company today. Worked
his way up from turd grabber to president.

Speaker 1 (01:16:45):
That's right. Frank Wingstop is now that's what we call him. Yeah,
it's amazing. Ala was written up years ago at an
olive garden for throwing away a block of cheese that
had molded on over it. Yeah, boy, they don't want
any kind They're like, look, we paid for this. We

(01:17:06):
are going to use ruder to tutor baby, we are
going to use it all. I used to work on
a taco bell pizza hut, one of those combo joints.

Speaker 9 (01:17:18):
Alan.

Speaker 1 (01:17:18):
I worked at one of those on Long Island when
I was a teenager. Hispanic staff I was the only
white kid, so they always hated me. Wanted me to
go outside to clean the parking lot. So I walked
out and saw a little short dude standing on the
counter peeing into a vat. So I just walked out

(01:17:42):
the back door and never even went back for my
last paycheck. Yeah, why would you a fellow employee or
was this a customer? I'm here to pick up my
eighty five dollars a fellow employee. Wow, yeah, how about that.
It's a good at spot, as good as spot if
any take a week, and I'm sure that when it's
all over for me in show biz, that's probably what

(01:18:03):
I have waiting for me, chief turd grabber, that'll be me.
I can't wait to be a Walmart greeter. That's my
next job. Hi, Hi, I'm rob Hi. Hi. You won't
mix it up, you won't go Hello, greetings, Hi there,
see what's up? See what hits me? Top of the
morning to you. Hey, how you doing? How you doing?

Speaker 5 (01:18:28):
What's going on the Allen Cox Show podcast will be
right back.

Speaker 1 (01:18:33):
His first marriage didn't work out. He caught her texting
another show.

Speaker 11 (01:18:39):
Sounds like he deserved it.

Speaker 1 (01:18:41):
It's Allen Cox. On one other point, said in w MMS,
I've got more money for in a few minutes about
five to be precise, second alliance, the chance today to

(01:19:02):
grab one thousand dollars courtesy of the Buzzard bookie, and
then five point thirty will be the last keyword today
and then tomorrow morning at nine o'clock hour has started
all up again with Rover. We still probably got a
couple of weeks on the keywords, yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:19:16):
Still I think till at the end of the month,
somewhere around there, two or three weeks.

Speaker 1 (01:19:19):
All right, good, well, all the way through the end
of February, which, by the way, the promo code for
cl Clothing Company this month is going to be arcade.
It's not going to be it is Arcade is what
you want to use for twenty percent off if you're
in one of their stores, if you're a more tactile shopper,
just when you check out, you look that clerk dead

(01:19:43):
in the eye and you say arcade, and invariably they
might go what, but you just go it's see Alan
Cox show code and then they'll go who and then
but I mean, I try us that you'll be able
to impart to them the information, or even easier, just

(01:20:04):
do it online. Let's go to their website and buy
us up there. You can just type arcade.

Speaker 5 (01:20:10):
In how many times it's gonna happen down here where
somebody goes into the the Euclid location and says arcade
and they go, yeah, it's across the street, what right, arcade?

Speaker 1 (01:20:19):
Yeah, yeah, it's no. That's the keyword, the keyword. Yeah,
I get it, sir, the arcade is across the street.
No for the for the Allan Cox Show. They go,
I don't know what you're talking about. I hear words
coming out of your mouth. I don't know what they mean.
Or just stand there and just keep saying the same
word staring at them. Arcade, sir, Arcade. I'm not sure

(01:20:41):
what you mean. Arcade like one of those spy movies
where they like the Manchurian Candidate or something right right
miles ago before I sleep, arcade, I was reading about something.
Now I guess I well, I was gonna say, I

(01:21:01):
guess I respect anybody who does this. I don't know
that it rises to the level of respect, but it's
an interesting thing to try to get people to do
something called Phone free February. You know, some people do
dry January. I guess the conceit of that is they
figure there are some people who've been drinking so much
over the holidays that they go, I'm gonna go cold

(01:21:22):
turkey and I'm not gonna drink in January. I think
that's what dry January is. That's what it is. When
I do it, it just means I don't moisture eyes.
But Phone Free February is a global campaign, they say.
They're like, hey, I mean the thought behind it, you get.

(01:21:44):
They're like, everybody's hooked on their phones, everybody's looked on
their phones. They go, but how about in February you
change the way you use your phone. This is just
what their website says, renegotiate the relationship you have with
your handheld devices, and so you can choose what level

(01:22:05):
you want to do. Some people go, now, I don't
know how anybody listen. Phone You know, we spend a
lot of time dicking around on our phones, but you can't.
You just can't get around without it, right, So to
give it up for the entire month is entirely unrealistic.
They're like, well, people check their phones an average of

(01:22:25):
two hundred and twenty one times every day. Yes, and
sometimes it's people checking Snapchat or TikTok or whatever. But
you also are doing things legitimately on your phone. So
I get what they're trying to get people to do.
I just don't know how anybody could realistically do that.

(01:22:46):
I know Kat's doing it. She's doing a Phone Free February,
and that's my understanding anyway, but I'm certainly not doing it.
I love my phone, love my phone too much. It's
my window to the world, rob That's how I think
of it now. That's primarily because my house has no

(01:23:09):
windows other than the window Nation windows that are all
throughout my house. But Phone Freefebruary dot.

Speaker 5 (01:23:18):
Com is the website. I couldn't do it, no way, no,
absolutely not. And it's not like you know, I know
that the hacky bit is.

Speaker 1 (01:23:28):
Be like, oh, kids are on their phones all everybody's
on their phone all the time. I do feel a
little weird about it because my daughter has made comments
to me. She's like, you're always on your phone. I go,
I'm always working always when I'm on my phone, I'm
not posting selfies. I'm like, I got four hours of

(01:23:49):
dead air every day. Now, obviously I don't. I don't
talk to her this way, but I'm like, sweetheart, I'm
not over here, like you know. She goes, you're on
your phone. I go, yes, I am. I am on
my phone a lot.

Speaker 5 (01:24:04):
Yes, I am reading an article about chimpanzees urinating together.

Speaker 1 (01:24:08):
Goddamn it. Come on, do you see what's happening here?
I go, honey, this is the house that farts built.
Like everything we have is because daddy's on his phone.
But again, to her point, I'm trying to be more
cognizant of that. So I guess my version of phone

(01:24:30):
free February is to be more cognizant of that. Because
my daughter is way into Minecraft, right, So there's a
lot of times that she'll be on her tablet, or
she'll be talking to her cousin or something like that
when they're both playing Minecraft. She'll be in her room
and so she didn't care what I'm doing. But I

(01:24:51):
try to be more cognizant of like when I'm in
the room with her or we're doing some of the
same time that I'm not looking for things on my phone.
So I guess that's my version of this. But I
can't imagine anyone at any level. You know, there's people
like I don't have social media, and I'm so envious

(01:25:12):
of those people. I don't have social media, I don't
do anything. Is so people rocking flip phones. I mean
by virtue of having a flip phone, it'd be a
lot easier to do a phone free February. I don't
know how realistic it is for other people.

Speaker 5 (01:25:25):
But you also always, you know, you don't have the option,
as the host of this show or as a public
figure to not have social media, you know, and that's
that's something that sucks for me. Like I would love
to get rid of it.

Speaker 1 (01:25:37):
That's the point. I'm like, if I could get rid
of it tomorrow, I.

Speaker 5 (01:25:41):
Would, And you just can't. You have to have that
online presence. Plus you have to be you know, attached
to everything, know what the hell's going on. And what
makes me mad is when you get that end of
the week report of how long you were on your phone,
you know, it just pops up and it's like, yeah,
it's terrible. But it's also like, it counts every time
you log in until your phone shuts off. So if
you just sit there on that main screen and don't
do anything for forty five seconds or a minute, that counts.

Speaker 1 (01:26:02):
Oh is that true? Yeah? Yeah, I wasn't sure how
that was calculated. I guess I should know that, But.

Speaker 5 (01:26:07):
I think anytime your phone is open and unlocked and
you're even if it's just sitting there, that counts as
your screen time. Okay, it's an astronomical amount of time. Well,
because I got into an argument with my wife one time.
She goes, you are always on your phone. I go, yeah, okay,
so are you? And she does not as much as you,
and I go, I bet we're on arm blah blah

(01:26:28):
blah blah. So we look at the screen time. Mine
was like forty five hours a day. I'm like, okay, well,
I guess I am a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:26:40):
Then I have exceeded the amount of hours per day.
I'm like, when it's all over for me in showbiz,
I will throw this into the fire. But until then
I'm on it all the time.

Speaker 5 (01:26:51):
That's why when you hear stories about dudes like Bill
Murray and he's just like, yeah, I don't have any
hang you know, if somebody has to get a hold
of me, they'll get a hold of somebody who can
get home, and then I'll call them back if I
want to.

Speaker 1 (01:27:02):
Christopher Walk in the exact same way. Well, yeah, but
they're old and they have few money, you know, and
I just I'm so envious of that. That would be great.
But it's like, you know, believe it or not, I'm
still hustling. Hustle never ends. The hassle never ends. Tommy
Victor said it. Every day you're hustling, Is that what
you're trying to say? So that's right. Every day, every

(01:27:28):
single day. I can go for a couple of shows
that the picklebacks a lot. Those were so good.

Speaker 5 (01:27:36):
I really, I gotta tell you, I thought at first
like you, and then I had.

Speaker 1 (01:27:40):
A did it. I can't believe you never had one.
I think I had one once.

Speaker 5 (01:27:44):
You have to have had it, But I think I
had also been prere you know, drinking leading up to that,
so it was just a shot. That was the first
time I can honestly say I remember like, oh wow,
that's interesting before the Cavs game. Yeah, I haven't done
and sense, but you keep playing that song.

Speaker 1 (01:28:01):
Man, it's about to go down.

Speaker 11 (01:28:03):
Ket Are you a drinker of any renown? Nothing in particular.
I'm currently not drinking. I'm on my fitness kick. I'm
trying to be healthy and balanced.

Speaker 1 (01:28:14):
But oh good for you. So not even like a
G and T to take the take the edge off
at the end of the night or anything like that.

Speaker 11 (01:28:25):
Uh No, not really, all right. It depends on the night.

Speaker 1 (01:28:28):
All right, because with summertime coming, you know, there's gonna
be show events and you're gonna be diving headfirst into
these things. And so I'm just letting you know. I
don't know what I'm letting her know, but for that

(01:28:51):
first Captain funds floating fan Dango.

Speaker 5 (01:28:54):
Speaking of, have you put any more thoughts into the ale?

Speaker 1 (01:29:00):
I gotta figure it out. I've been thinking about it.
I know it's hard. I know that's I was lying
in bed the other night thinking about him, like, there's
so many different ways we could go. We just need
to We got to take like a day, like a
weekend or something and go, here's what we've got. Let's
try and we're gonna get wrecked testing this thing. But

(01:29:23):
it's okay. We have to suffer for our art.

Speaker 19 (01:29:26):
Oh yeah, I'll get.

Speaker 4 (01:29:30):
Your feeling good.

Speaker 1 (01:29:46):
Okay. Watching your health and removing some of the alcohol
is the implication that you were drinking too much before.

Speaker 11 (01:29:52):
No, I'm just trying to be really strict about I'm
trying to be my best self this year and look
my best self, and that's part of it.

Speaker 1 (01:30:00):
You know, are you willing now that you're on the show,
are you willing to be your second best self?

Speaker 11 (01:30:06):
I will try.

Speaker 1 (01:30:09):
To lower your stale, I know, seriously. Oh see, she's
gonna run. She's gonna be good at running interference for
me when everybody thinks I'm a maniac because I'll eat
half a piece of pizza because I'm trying to take
care of I'm trying to keep it tight, you know
what I mean. She's gonna be a good influence.

Speaker 11 (01:30:27):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:30:28):
Because I'm on the other side, I'm like, dude, have
the second bull of cereal, you pussy.

Speaker 1 (01:30:32):
I was gonna say, she You're gonna end up finding
a happy medium between me and rub Hello? Who is this? Hello?

Speaker 9 (01:30:40):
Hello?

Speaker 1 (01:30:41):
Who is this? Oh you're talking to me Alan, Hey,
it's Rip.

Speaker 16 (01:30:45):
I just call him to say hello, how you doing?

Speaker 9 (01:30:48):
Coming in?

Speaker 1 (01:30:48):
Tom Coon Leve? Hi, what's going on? Rip? You said
your name's Rip. My name is Rip because I just
let them. But I have just completed my PhD studies
of gastro intestinal pathology. It's the great trip the East Campus.

Speaker 4 (01:31:08):
Uh huh.

Speaker 1 (01:31:08):
I have got the data back and the numbers are in.
Are you ready for some breaking news? I mean, I
don't know. This came out of nowhere, and I guess
I'm ready.

Speaker 4 (01:31:18):
Hold on.

Speaker 1 (01:31:24):
I mean, this is a big leap of faith on
my part to assume that Rip has legitimate breaking news.
But okay, I'll take you at your word.

Speaker 16 (01:31:32):
Everyone hates Rob and we want Bill and Mary back.

Speaker 1 (01:31:35):
Gotta go?

Speaker 9 (01:31:37):
Why hang up?

Speaker 1 (01:31:37):
Who cares? Don't hang up? It's fine. I wanted some dude.
You want to say something, say it like and hang up.
He thinks he's getting like one over. You don't have
to hide. I thought he was gonna breaking news. See,
I want to learn about heart. I set the table

(01:31:58):
for him and that's how he does. Don't bail. Come on, man, Rip,
if that's your real name, I bet it's not gastro
intestinal pathology. Alan, every time your phone is plugged into

(01:32:19):
the car, it counts towards your screen time report. How
about peat schnapps and tomato juice with a dash of
Parmesan cheese on the rim. Somebody suggested, yeah, again, we
want it to be We're not looking for something that's
going to make people vomit. I mean, we want something

(01:32:44):
that is going to be unique but palatable, and so
we'll figure that out. Ellen, I used to be a
dishwasher at a bowling alley and I was going to
see us fe years ago, and they hired a guy
in his fifties who would repeatedly fall asleep on the job,

(01:33:06):
and while asleep, would crap his pants. And he did
this about four or five times, and then he would
walk around like that and he ended up getting the
nickname Drippy from the rest of the staff. He only
lasted about two weeks.

Speaker 11 (01:33:23):
I guess you.

Speaker 1 (01:33:23):
Can't ask somebody that question. It's such a random bit
of information about somebody that they're not going to offer it.
And you would never think to ask in an interview situation.
Hey have you ever I don't know, fall asleep and
then crapped your pants. You wouldn't even think to ask that. Now,

(01:33:44):
granted full disclosure, I did ask Cat that when we
interviewed her, and despite the fact that she was candid
and said that yes, she had done that multiple times,
I said, you know what, I got a good feeling
about this. I'm gonna look past it. I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna poop shame anybody.

Speaker 5 (01:34:06):
If this guy's done this multiple times, right, what what
is sleeping like.

Speaker 1 (01:34:11):
In his home? If this guy falls asleep and craps
his pants on the regular, what do you do? I
don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:34:18):
It sounds like like every time the guy goes to
sleep he has an accident.

Speaker 1 (01:34:22):
You think at that point you'd go, I've got a job.
Now I'll go buy some depend so I can wear
them around my my uh my undergarments.

Speaker 5 (01:34:33):
Maybe just a bad sleeper and just lives on coffee.
So it's just I pooped my pants. I ate too
much corn.

Speaker 3 (01:34:40):
The Alan Cox Show podcast will be right backs.

Speaker 1 (01:34:45):
Call The Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 8 (01:34:47):
Alan Cox is the worst strive time personality I've ever heard.

Speaker 3 (01:34:55):
Two one six seven eight one double oh seven.

Speaker 20 (01:35:03):
Thank you, sir, appreciate your checking in. You either give
your kudos or they're deserved.

Speaker 1 (01:35:14):
Hey, the Cavaliers are in town tonight before they hit
the road. They'll play Detroit in DC over the next
few days, but tonight they're hosting the Boston Celtics. I
hear at the Romo Fijo seven thirty tip off tonight.
That's you start time seven o'clock. Pregame coverage begins here
on WMMS and on the iHeartRadio app. We, of course

(01:35:36):
your FB flagship home for Cleveland Cavaliers basketball, bringing you
the best team in the National Basketball Association, literally and
figuratively the envy of every other city in this country.
Dallas deals their best guy to LA because they're trying

(01:35:57):
to replicate what's happening with the Cleveland Cavaliers. No joke.
They're looking around and they look to the east and
guess what they say, us mopping the floor with everybody
except the Houston Rockets. Fine lost to them twice. Cares

(01:36:18):
gotta lose sometimes, Yes, certainly do. Hey Jannita in Saint Louis.

Speaker 19 (01:36:24):
Hey Allan and Rob, and welcome to kat. I'm actually
really happy to see that the commercials have finally got
this continuity going on where they just kind of there's
no songs anymore. And I even just heard Rob in
a commercial, I think, and that was really cool. So
I'm glad that iHeart has fixed that.

Speaker 9 (01:36:46):
But I actually called because.

Speaker 19 (01:36:47):
The gentleman that you had on the phone earlier, that
gentleman on the phone that you had earlier was a
bit of a toad, because I don't, yes, dude, because
even when Mary and Bill were on the show, people
will call in and say how much they sucked. So
there's nothing that you can do on the show that

(01:37:09):
will make everybody happy.

Speaker 1 (01:37:11):
Well, listen, that's not even that's not even the point.
I tell people. Everyone's entire their opinion. But I tell
people all the show will always move forward, never backward,
always forward, and so listen. I I'm no stranger to that,
you know. I've heard programs that change their people or whatever.

Speaker 9 (01:37:30):
I go.

Speaker 1 (01:37:30):
No, it's a bummer, I like this, you know, but whatever,
but this thing always forward.

Speaker 19 (01:37:35):
Yeah, well that guy was pretty CHOUDI he's fine.

Speaker 1 (01:37:39):
He was having a bit of fun at my expense,
and that's uh, it's okay, toad. If I have lost
if I ever lose Jannita in Saint Louis, Rob, I
have truly lost it all. So until then you'll be
my ride or die Jannita, of course, And I.

Speaker 19 (01:37:58):
Think Rob's been doing a great I really.

Speaker 9 (01:38:01):
Like his voice.

Speaker 1 (01:38:01):
Of course, he's.

Speaker 19 (01:38:03):
Really opened up like a nice, pretty little flower. He's
let us personality.

Speaker 1 (01:38:08):
So I was thinking about it more vulnerable. He's opened
up like a little flower. How about that?

Speaker 11 (01:38:18):
Rob?

Speaker 4 (01:38:19):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:38:21):
Thank you, Wanita. You're all right. I'll tell you what.
And people have been asking me about this all day
and I can lay no claim to this whatsoever. But
I'd be lying to you if I told you I
wasn't excited. Right across the street from iHeart Cleveland here
on Euclid Avenue is the Holiday Inn Express. It's been

(01:38:42):
there for twenty six years, and they are renovating it
and they're changing it, and it's become one of these
new Marriotte boutique hotel chains that is called the AC Hotel.
Have you seen this story? I Marriott has a chain
of boutique hotels. I just rented out one of the

(01:39:05):
huge ballrooms at the AC Hotel in East Lansing for
my son's graduation party. He graduated from Michigan State first
week of December, and we had a rented a ballroom
for the party at the AC Hotel. It's a Marriotte
chain and they're pretty slick. They've got lobby bars. Rob. Now,

(01:39:28):
I don't know how quickly this renovation is going to happen.
They're redeveloping with a local group, but the AC Hotel
is part of the Marriotte group, so they have them in.
They're all over the place, and that's what they're going
to turn the Holiday in Express across the street into.

(01:39:49):
So even though you know you might not directly associate
it with me or this show, it's a nice little
bit of subliminal Watch them a call right across the
street from iHeart Cleveland. Run over there and throw up
a couple of stickers. Yeah, I'll vomit those stickers right
up right onto their lobby bar. Did I mention they

(01:40:12):
have a lobby bar. I'm sure we'll check it out. Oh,
it's going to be great. The Holiday and Express has
one hundred and forty one rooms and they will redevelop
it into an AC Hotel. The construction is expected to
begin this summer, so it probably won't be done until
I don't know, next spring.

Speaker 5 (01:40:32):
Renovation. I'm a whole lot faster than having to go
ground up. Yeah, I guess so. And again that place
is have you been in there, like in the Idle Hotel.

Speaker 1 (01:40:39):
I've been in the lobby. We used to go in there, Uh,
Mark Nolan and I. We'd have a little ladies brunch
every so often. And there was a diner back there,
D's Diner. I think I think it has since closed,
but we would go into that diner a couple times
a month and get some eggs. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:40:55):
The hotel definitely needs, uh needs some work. So it's
I'm guessing it's going to be a like down to
studs and then some type renovation.

Speaker 1 (01:41:05):
The hotel is expected to open sometime in twenty twenty six.
All Right, the number of hotel rooms won't change, nor
will the floor space occupied by the hotel. It's about
eighty one thousand square feet. But of course they'll they'll
rerender the whole place. So in twenty twenty six, provided
I am still here, they'll have the ac Hotel right downtown.

(01:41:32):
How about that. Now, I don't know what the rooms
cost over there. They'll probably get a little bit more expensive.
But you know, it's again these boutique chains that the
big hotel companies have. They're not crazy, you know, downtown Cleveland,
couple hundred bucks a night.

Speaker 11 (01:41:54):
Probably somebody just called in and said that it was
a bank originally.

Speaker 1 (01:42:01):
Well, yeah, because the marble Room next door. Well, the
Marble Room is a bank, right, that's like a big vault.

Speaker 11 (01:42:06):
No, apparently this hotel. I don't know if that if
that checks.

Speaker 1 (01:42:09):
Out, but hm or retained ownership okay, yeah, retained ownership
of the eighteen ninety six built New England building also
called the Guardian Bank Building. Oh that's the same building
Marble room in the Holiday Inn. I didn't think so,
but it must be moving. It says on its ground
floor it has a swanky marble room restaurant upstairs. Oh

(01:42:32):
maybe that's the next door. I don't know, I'm not reading.

Speaker 5 (01:42:34):
Yeah, I mean, if you if you look at those
two buildings, man, you walk into the marble Room, you
know you're someplace special. I was gonna say, yeah, you
walk into that other one, It's like, okay, well this
is yeah, maybe the back room.

Speaker 1 (01:42:45):
So again, the Marriotte chain pretty much dominates downtown Cleveland
already as far as hotels go. But the ac hotel
will open up right across the street from us next
year and you know, being cheeky with me. I I
obviously had nothing to do with that, but it'd be

(01:43:05):
a nice little bit of subliminal advertising. It's nice to
see those type of hotels coming in down here too.

Speaker 5 (01:43:09):
I stayed at the the Indigo over by the ballpark
when when I was in interviewing, it's beautiful, it's great,
we had.

Speaker 1 (01:43:16):
A great time.

Speaker 4 (01:43:16):
Oh God for you.

Speaker 5 (01:43:18):
That was after Keith Kennedy put me up in a
holiday inn in Independence and Hodkis was like, nobody wants
to come to Cleveland because of a holiday in in Independence.

Speaker 1 (01:43:28):
They put me up out in beech Wood. They put
me up out by the PF Changs. Get an idea
the the town you're coming to. Well, because we were
in Independence still and so they put me up The
hotel is probably completely different now, but they put me

(01:43:49):
up at a hotel that was back there. It had
like a steakhouse next door. It was like an embassy
suite or something. But they had trade there. I've told
the story. Sorry, they had trade there, and uh, well
I didn't know my way around town. I was just like, oh,
this seems a little far away from where we're gonna be.

(01:44:10):
But who cares.

Speaker 9 (01:44:11):
Whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:44:12):
I was interviewing for a job, not a hotel room.
It's always nice to have a nice hotel though.

Speaker 4 (01:44:19):
Eh.

Speaker 1 (01:44:20):
Whatever, Hey Woody, what's going on? You know? Rob Wood?
He will randomly text me things when I'm sure he's
been drinking. Right, He just randomly texts me things. And
sometimes I'll answer him back and sometimes I won't. It

(01:44:40):
just depends on when he gets me. And there's a
part of me that goes, well. I don't want him
to feel bad. I don't want to think I'm blowing
him off. But uh, you know, wood he's got ahead
of steam. Sometimes he calls, sometimes he texts, Yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:44:58):
Yeah, you know, I don't sweat it. You know, I
don't though you blowed me off.

Speaker 5 (01:45:01):
I know you're a very busy man, even if I wasn't.

Speaker 10 (01:45:07):
He here turned about hotels downtown.

Speaker 1 (01:45:12):
This was before my time and before your time.

Speaker 10 (01:45:14):
But there was a hotel downtown Cleveland called Swing Goes.

Speaker 1 (01:45:20):
I've heard. I've heard the name. Wasn't it like a
rock and roll joint or something?

Speaker 9 (01:45:25):
Or yeah?

Speaker 10 (01:45:28):
So I'm told it was like where all the rock
shows that came to town. Stayed and it was just bananas,
you know, rock and rolle debauchery, if I'm told right.

Speaker 1 (01:45:41):
Because it was the guy's name. The guys was named
Swing Goos. I remember him. It was in the news
like about ten years ago that he had passed away,
I think, But I yeah, I remember the name, but
I know nothing about it obviously.

Speaker 10 (01:45:54):
Yeah, I mean from the rumors and the stories I've
been told, you know, he'd let you know, all all
the rock bands stayed there. I remember going to an
Eddy Money show and yeah, this obviously one of the
last shows he did coming through Cleveland.

Speaker 9 (01:46:10):
But he had a little break in.

Speaker 10 (01:46:12):
His show and was talking about being caught in the
seventy seven snowstorm in Cleveland and he was like snowed
in at Swing Goles for like four day straight because
of all that that giant seventy ninety seventy blizzard. And
he gave some pretty good stories about that.

Speaker 9 (01:46:34):
Stay over right.

Speaker 1 (01:46:35):
Yeah, I don't know that there's a I don't think
that they're you know, rock and roll bands aren't trashing
hotel rooms anymore either, so you know they don't have
to worry about that. But okay, thank you what he
all right? There's Woody out of the lake in Willoughby.
So every so often we get oh wait, sorry, Brian
has called. You want to hear Brian always?

Speaker 14 (01:46:57):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:47:09):
See in this place with a new set of vibes
can make it feel loud, lost in this.

Speaker 4 (01:47:18):
Bear of talks with thoughts of doubt.

Speaker 1 (01:47:21):
That does not need to exist. Once someone takes sun
lead and reaches.

Speaker 21 (01:47:27):
Out out out to everyone in the dogs, will you.

Speaker 1 (01:47:33):
Fall with someone leads the worst. I haven't heard that
dude in a while. All right, thank you, Brian. You know,
sometimes he'll just call and leave a message of him
playing guitar, and then other times he'll call with some
other things, just random musings read more what yeah, you know?

(01:47:57):
Things like that. Hard to believe that's the same guy.
He's got something to say and he wants everybody to
know it.

Speaker 9 (01:48:01):
I'm a dead man.

Speaker 3 (01:48:02):
If I can't mesturate in front of God, I don't
know who I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:48:06):
Do it to. Mm hmm, well we're all field dressing
a groundhog in front of the Almighty, aren't we start?

Speaker 10 (01:48:13):
Bus Coffee is trash. I get made coffee, So God
give you a fucking hard on.

Speaker 1 (01:48:22):
Another one of these TikTok time travelers has popped up,
by the way, and golly, I hope they're wrong. Uh,
this happens with some frequency. Whereas somebody who is on
TikTok and they're like, Hey, I know nobody's gonna believe me,
but I'm a real time traveler and here's what's gonna happen.

Speaker 18 (01:48:42):
Now.

Speaker 1 (01:48:43):
Strangely, these people never have solutions. They just tell you
about all of the awful things that are gonna allegedly happen.
They You would think that if someone was a legit
time traveler, they would say, here's how we fix these
problems that you are gonna have in twenty twenty five
and twenty twenty six. This is someone who is coming

(01:49:06):
to us from the year twenty six seventy one. So
glass half full people are still around in twenty six
seventy one. Now, this is the person who has predicted
many They fancy themselves a modern day Nostra damis just
under a million followers on TikTok entertainment purposes only. But

(01:49:31):
obviously nothing has come true so far. But that doesn't
stop them from making predictions. It never stops all the
Jesus freaks from making rapture predictions that never come true.
And it doesn't keep the TikTok time travelers from predicting
things as well. But all you have to do is
be right once right. It's like paranoia, they say, if

(01:49:56):
you're paranoid, all you have to be is right one
time time to make it all worth it. And so
this guy comes back from the year twenty six to
seventy one and it starts laying out what's going to happen.
March the thirtieth, not far off, a one mile wide
asteroid is going to hit Central America now, month and

(01:50:18):
a half out. You'd think that NASA or somebody would
have let us know about this. They're telling us about
asteroids that are going to come within one thousand miles
of the planet five six years ahead. Just missed this one.
How big did he say? One mile wide? If that
hits South America, the planet's dead. It's over, causing a

(01:50:39):
four hundred mile wide crater. Millions of people will be killed,
and the southern United States, along with Mexico, will be
uninhabitable for years to follow. Talk I'm on a closed
border April the twentieth for twenty For whatever reason, this

(01:51:02):
guy says that a bright pink sky it will make
some of the world's largest volcanoes erupt. Listen, just because
you're a prognosticator doesn't mean you're a scientist. You're a
rough couple of months ago or a geologist, resulting in
one of the largest eruptions in known history since Van

(01:51:26):
Halen won July seventh through the thirteenth, this time traveler
says that these will be the hottest days in the
history of the United States. Well, that's no stretch, right,
Every subsequent summer is the hottest on record. Says it'll
be known as heat Week, not to be confused with

(01:51:49):
Fleet Week, which is here and of course the late summer.
So buckle up, ladies and guys. About that The average
ten temperature that week in July will be one hundred
and fourteen degrees fahrenheit. And then September twenty first, the

(01:52:10):
first ever Category six hurricane will hit the southeastern portion
of the United States Florida and Georgia four hundred mile
per hour winds. This person assures us that they are
a real time traveler. Why they're laser focused on natural disasters,

(01:52:30):
I don't know, Because you take any point in time,
and there's gonna be a lot of bad things that happen.
If there's would be good things that are gonna happen too,
so you think they'd go yeah, so all this stuff.
But also, we're going to start running cars on water,
even though we've already been able to do that for
seventy years. Maybe we'll get to a point where it'll

(01:52:52):
take off. Who knows. But if you can't trust a
TikTok time traveler from twenty six to seventy one, I
don't know who you can trust. His handle is Radiant
Time Traveler if you want to be one of the
almost one million people following. Everybody wants to feel like
they've got an edge on something. Now, there is a

(01:53:14):
slight chance, as I was going through some of his posts,
there is a slight chance. You have to allow that
he is full of crap. But I don't know. I
can't prove that he's not. Just because nothing he has
predicted has come true doesn't mean that nothing will. So

(01:53:34):
then it comes down to which of these is the
most likely asteroid Central America, pink sky making volcanoes, eruped
heat Week or the Category six hurricane Heat Week Heat
week right now, How does it's already one hundred and
fourteen degrees in July and Phoenix, So this will just

(01:53:57):
spread out to the rest of the country. Yes, that
one not too too far off, he said. Because of
the severe heat, car tires will melt and massive wildfires
will proliferate. Now, of course, people's tires aren't melting in
places like Las Vegas and Phoenix. As far as prognosticators go.

(01:54:18):
That guy is still shoveling him out on TikTok Alan.
Will heat weak coincide with Shark Week. I don't know
when is Shark Week. You know they're getting closer and
closer to the shores because the waters are warming. You know,
last couple of times we've been on the Jersey Shore
there are sharks not far off the sand there. Shark

(01:54:40):
Week they do that over fourth of July. The Ally
Cock Show podcast will be right back.

Speaker 3 (01:54:47):
Pro tip if a cop pulls you over and they
hear you listening to this, they're.

Speaker 1 (01:54:51):
Probably just gonna let you go because you know, I
figured you suffered enough.

Speaker 3 (01:54:58):
Show hundred point seven dommas.

Speaker 1 (01:55:16):
Last chance today to grab that one thousand dollars. Keywords
from the buzzard bookie about thirty past every hour. Last
one's coming here in about seven or eight minutes five thirty,
and then it'll start all over again tomorrow. They come
about every hour, starting them the nine o'clock hour with RMG.
Then Stansbury's got him. I've got him until five thirty.

(01:55:36):
So another full day of hopefully getting you some cash
tomorrow with the last chance today here in a few minutes.
Calves are at home tonight before they hit the road
for a couple of days. They'll go to Detroit and
DC before they come back home. But tonight they're hosting
the Boston Celtics. A couple of big wins in the
rear view mirror. Beat the MAVs by forty three points,

(01:55:59):
got about twenty on the Atlanta Hawks, beat the Heat
by twenty, beat the Pistons by twenty. See a pattern emerging,
But the Celtics are pretty good, so we'll see what happens.
Celtics Cavs tonight, seven point thirty tip off at the
Romo Fijo. Pregame coverage at seven o'clock tonight here on

(01:56:20):
WMMS and then on the iHeartRadio app. You can listen,
of course, Hey, Aaron, what's going on?

Speaker 13 (01:56:29):
Hey Ellen, Rob, how you doing?

Speaker 1 (01:56:32):
Good man?

Speaker 4 (01:56:32):
What's up?

Speaker 11 (01:56:34):
Hey?

Speaker 13 (01:56:34):
I got a TikTok, a channel or whatever you need
to check out.

Speaker 1 (01:56:41):
This is your channel.

Speaker 22 (01:56:43):
This gets me.

Speaker 13 (01:56:44):
That gets me every time. No, it's not mine. I
wish it were, because it's it's absolutely amazing. It's called
majestic pisses. Okay and okay, you see the guy ping,
but you know, obviously you don't see us junk. You'll
see him peeing in the snow and then it'll pan up.
It'll be the most beautiful place you've ever seen in

(01:57:06):
your life. He's actually there.

Speaker 1 (01:57:09):
Oh, this isn't like a photo taken through the like
prism of the mist or anything like that.

Speaker 13 (01:57:14):
Right, No, No, you should definitely check it out. It's
it's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:57:20):
I should definitely. How did you find it?

Speaker 13 (01:57:23):
You don't want to know? My algorithm is is something special?

Speaker 1 (01:57:27):
Oh boy, Aaron's algorithm sent this to him, which means
he's just looking at all kinds of wild things over
there on TikTok.

Speaker 5 (01:57:35):
Yeah, he's definitely. Yeah, this guy's uh, this is pretty awesome.
Although the one I'm looking at here in the snow
looks like he needs to really drink some water, because
good lord, it's dark brown and dust.

Speaker 1 (01:57:47):
All right, Well, this guy's got about thirteen point seven
thousand followers. Okay, so these are basically like I see,
and you think that the guy's really doing that or
do you think that he's just all camera and he's
really no that. I mean, I'm on it. I'm looking
at it. That's definitely a pe Okay, I'm looking at

(01:58:08):
it too, and it looks really, really clear, So that
dude has a healthy stream. There's some days that he's
really drinking a lot of water, and then other days
I don't buy it. I don't buy it. Well, me too,
but I'm telling you they all look too uniform. I
do not buy this at all. I'm looking at these

(01:58:30):
and I don't buy it. Look at the different colors. Man,
Well that's what I'm saying. I bet there's I bet
one or two times. Maybe he did. He probably started
off doing that. I mean, I like the music. I
mean he's got some it's a funny. Well, yeah, that
one looks like mountain dew. See. I think he's squirting
mountain dew. Okay, do you really? Well, what do I know?

(01:58:52):
Thank you? Eron, I want it to be real. You
want it to be real. Of course the place is
this guy's getting the pee in. Okay, what does that
guy say to you when he calls?

Speaker 11 (01:59:03):
What do you mean?

Speaker 4 (01:59:04):
Sorry?

Speaker 1 (01:59:05):
Aaron calls and he goes, hey, I want to talk
to Alan about something, And you say, okay, what because
you Cat puts it on my screen for me. He
describes the whole thing to you. Hey, I want to
tell Alan about this peeing TikTok.

Speaker 11 (01:59:15):
Yeah, he just said majestic pisses.

Speaker 1 (01:59:20):
And Cat's like, you had me at Majestic, you had
me at Hello Allan Cox Show with a View. Yeah,
and welcome to the show the most Majestic. Now, what
this implies is that there's competition for this, right because
creative people borrow, geniuses steal and so there's somebody else

(01:59:47):
this guy for what he's doing here. I mean, just
the photography alone is very impressive. Buddy's doesn't even have
fourteen thousand followers. Maybe it is fake. I think I
think it's fake. I think there's a couple of them. Yeah,
the snow one, it's yellow. I think, just to mix

(02:00:09):
it up. He's probably got something off camera. It's squirting,
you know, mountain dew or something. No, I don't care
if it's fake. I think it's a funny. I think
it's a funny, you know, concept he's not following anybody.
He's got thirteen point seven thousand followers. You big on

(02:00:31):
TikTok cat Actually no, Okay.

Speaker 11 (02:00:35):
Maybe it's because I'm a millennial, but we tend to
be on Instagram more.

Speaker 1 (02:00:40):
I mean, when the TikTok ban was getting bandied about,
you know, they were like, well, there's everybody thinks it's
kids on TikTok. It's a lot of different people, and
it's not really Like sixty percent of people on TikTok
are under twenty four and most of them are women,
So it's obviously not everybody is under that age group.
It's a forty percentage above that. But I think they

(02:01:02):
overestimate the breadth of the people who are on TikTok
as far as like demographics go.

Speaker 5 (02:01:10):
I mean, yeah, that guy just called in definitely was
not a young female and was definitely an avid user,
considering his algorithm was popping up Majestic right.

Speaker 1 (02:01:21):
Yeah, if you listen to us on the iHeartRadio app,
you can always leave messages for us. If you listen
from out of state, please tell me where you know.
I've been shouting out our bureau cheese for a long
long time, but more recently I'm more curious because of
the hiccups in the app. A lot of them tend

(02:01:44):
to be geolocation related. And so I've heard from people go, hey,
I listened in Seattle and I've had no problems whatsoever.
And then there's people listening like in the building here
that go, oh yeah, I can't get it to so
I'm again, I'm always trying to. I haven't been able
to find any rhyme or reason to what happens. But

(02:02:06):
that's kind of why I will focus occasionally on the
people who listen from out of state. Justin listens in Buffalo.
Nate is in Battle Creek, Michigan. I know it. Will
Matt is in Alton Bay, New Hampshire. You hip to
Alton Bay, Okay. Andrew listens in Cooper Landing, Alaska. He's

(02:02:29):
way out there getting them dividend checks. Taylor is in Rexburg, Idaho.
You know where Rexburg is?

Speaker 11 (02:02:37):
Nope, maybe there's potatoes there though, wait, Idaho is known
for potatoes.

Speaker 1 (02:02:45):
I wouldn't say, yeah, potatoes and Nazis. Well, we've done
a fine, fine job there in Idaho. Congratulations. Well they're
all white Laura's and Richmond, Virginia, Allen, I know you
love the iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 22 (02:03:02):
I just went to listen to the podcast episode from
yesterday and got four minutes of a repeated commercial telling
me this isn't the adye bait teeny tiny Bowl, it's
the super Bowl. I do not care about the super Bowl.
I hate the freaking Eagles.

Speaker 12 (02:03:23):
Man.

Speaker 1 (02:03:25):
See dovetails nicely into complaining about the uh, what's Oh,
that's not the Seacrest commercial though I don't know. I
think it's a Rover commercial, is it? I think so
because we air it to something like that. Okay, and
that's of course not his fault. But you know, people
are like, I hope you get a cut of these commercials.

(02:03:45):
I'm like, I get dick. That's why it's so frustrating.
They sell advertising on my show. I don't see one
thin gilder from it. That's why it's frustrating. If I
was getting chi chings every time one of these commercials
in on me talking, I wouldn't care. I go, well,
that sucks, but I'm getting paid.

Speaker 5 (02:04:05):
I don't take any commercial but that Seacrest. Oh God,
the Chumbawama casino seventeen million times a day. You get
knocked down, but you'll get up again.

Speaker 1 (02:04:17):
No, I don't get sent one for the advertising that
they sell on the app during my show. They just go, hey,
it sounds great. Chi chang, okay, thank you. I got
this week in Jesus here this weekend, Jesus man. I

(02:04:43):
love this story. Detroit, Michigan. One of our bureau chiefs
sent me this, says courtesy of Fox two. Over there,
there's a priest in Detroit. I love every time listen.
I grew up Catholic, and so I'm no stranger to
the nonsense surrounding the fact that the Catholic Church, by
virtue of the fact that they're still kind of selling

(02:05:06):
bronze age thinking here, they still have in their employ exorcists.
And there's a priest in Detroit there, Father Carlos Martin's.
He is the diocese's exorcist. Every Catholic diocese, at least
they used to be a little bit more open about it.

(02:05:28):
I think they all still have one, but they're a
little bit more quiet about it now because even in
the twenty first century, even the Catholic Church is like, yeah,
we know this is kind of made up, but whatever.
When I was in high school Catholic High School, one
of my theology teachers was a priest, really popular, father Paul.

(02:05:49):
He since passed away, but he was Hawaiian. He was
like half of Cat's boyfriend, but he was a Hawaiian
priest is Hawaiian and Polish, and he was the exorcist
for the Chicago Diocese. Now, this is something that they
kind of tried to keep onder their hat because everybody

(02:06:10):
would just kind of snicker. But that's what he was,
and he never really talked about it, but we knew
where it had gotten around that that's what he did. Anyway.
In Detroit, his father, Carlos Martin's is the diocese exorcist.
He is also just to prove they're not really keeping
it under their hat anymore. He's the host of a
podcast called The Exorcist Files. He lives on Detroit's West Side.

(02:06:37):
He's a pastor there at the Companions of the Cross Church,
and he's in trouble because he allegedly asked a teenage
girl on whom he was performing an exorcism to floss
his teeth with her hair. What I mean this is
a long way from the power of Christ, compels you,

(02:06:59):
I guess. But this guy's in trouble for this.

Speaker 23 (02:07:02):
Involving a local priest, He's accused of grabbing a teen's
hair and attempting to floss his team.

Speaker 1 (02:07:08):
But the creepy allegations they don't end there. Foxes Jessica
do what. He doesn't get any kudos for hygiene. Back
with the details. You know, people are fixed on the
devil's power.

Speaker 23 (02:07:25):
Meet Father Carlos Martin's from Detroit, claims to be an exorcist.

Speaker 18 (02:07:29):
They asked me, what have you seen? Have you seen levitation?
Have you been hit with the objects flying through the air?
I'll see yeah, I've seen all these things.

Speaker 23 (02:07:41):
He's the star of a popular podcast, namely Exorcist Files,
comparing his life to the movie The Exorcists, Vomiting and
Spitting and all. He's a member of the Catholic Church
works and lives here on Detroit's West Side and the
companions of Cross Church.

Speaker 1 (02:07:55):
Well, the community should be able to trust these individuals.

Speaker 23 (02:07:58):
Sergeant Duane English, Joliette Police Department in Illinois. That's where
Father Martin's was visiting last November as a traveling priest.

Speaker 1 (02:08:06):
Friends, my name is father Boy. If you were ever
going to believe in the devil, it would be in Joliet, Illinois.
By the way, there's a prison there really as a whole.
They call its suburban Chicago. They call it the Joylt
because it's terrible.

Speaker 18 (02:08:20):
Carlo Louis Marvis and I am the director of Treasures
of the Church.

Speaker 1 (02:08:23):
He wasn't just there to show off the relics.

Speaker 23 (02:08:26):
It's alleged he approached a thirteen year old girl asked
about her hair, specifically if she ever used it to
floss her teeth.

Speaker 8 (02:08:33):
With, and then it's alleged that he then picked up
her hair, placed it in his mouth, and beat a
flossing motion.

Speaker 1 (02:08:40):
A few minutes later, I thought he was performing an
exorcism on this girl. He just went up and was like, ray,
do you ever floss with your hair? First of all,
I've seen girls do that, right, but it's not a
good floss, I mean horrible. A strand of hair is
so thin. Let's say it was day at school. You're

(02:09:01):
not going to get it out with a you're you
into Jesus.

Speaker 11 (02:09:05):
Cat I am a believer.

Speaker 1 (02:09:08):
Okay, but you're not like the devil stuff? Is that
you into the devil stuff?

Speaker 4 (02:09:15):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (02:09:15):
Well, like you believe? Do you believe in the devil?

Speaker 11 (02:09:18):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:09:18):
Okay, you do. So something like this. If you were
let's say you were thirteen, and a priest walks up
and goes, hey, mind if I floss with your hair,
I work with the devil or not with but against
you'd go, I'm not giving you my hair? Yeah, bro okay, at.

Speaker 23 (02:09:36):
Least say he sat in the pew behind her and
started growling, yes, growling at her.

Speaker 8 (02:09:42):
And that was the allegation that was made by not
only the not only the young lady herself, but the
individuals that were around her at that time.

Speaker 23 (02:09:50):
This week, he turned himself in on a misdemeanor charge
of battery for again grabbing the battery and trying to
floss with it to the leader and companions of Cross
Church and confirmed Father Martin's is currently not able to
work with the public until his case works through the course.
If he's found guilty in Illinois, it could be a

(02:10:11):
year in jail, more likely a fine and or probation.

Speaker 8 (02:10:15):
I can't imagine how scary this might have been for
this young lady and the other people around her.

Speaker 1 (02:10:20):
With respect, you got to pick up a battery charge
because you're like, hey, can I f loss with your hair?
I mean, it's all weird sitting behind her pluck a
hair out. I wonder what he had for lunch that day.
I wonder if you plead your case in front of

(02:10:40):
the magistrate there and you go, your honor, throw yourself
on the mercy of the court. I have cast out demons,
your honor. I just could not cast out a rockcorn colonel.

Speaker 5 (02:10:52):
I had in the back there, Irana, you can plainly
see my client as bold as a cue ball.

Speaker 1 (02:10:59):
Right.

Speaker 5 (02:11:00):
He had an s I E bowl before we headed
over for the nexctissism.

Speaker 1 (02:11:04):
What do you expect him to do? He asked the
young lady if he could have a hair. He didn't
just take it, and she rebuffed him, Urana, with extreme prejudice.
I moved for this case to be dismissed. They dismiss
all immediately. He's like a message.

Speaker 9 (02:11:26):
I see that she can't see.

Speaker 1 (02:11:28):
If that's true, then you must know my mother's maiden name.

Speaker 4 (02:11:32):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (02:11:36):
Oh, it's so gross. To this day, I've never been
able to make it all the way through that movie.

Speaker 5 (02:11:41):
It's the only, I think, the only scary movie that
I've ever seen that freaks me out.

Speaker 1 (02:11:45):
I saw it when I was nine and didn't sleep
for a year. And then freshman year in college, I
said to my girlfriend and I said, hey, can we
watch the Exorcist? And I'm gonna watch it over here.
We'll lie in bed, watch it over your shoulder. And
it's so cartoony as an adult, great movie, great movie,
but it's so cartoony as an adult. I was like,

(02:12:05):
why was I ever scared of this movie? Really?

Speaker 9 (02:12:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (02:12:07):
I think it was just the movie and I was
I was young too, it was probably ten, yeah something
like that.

Speaker 1 (02:12:12):
Yeah, man, that that movie scared the crap. Well, sure,
because if you grew up Catholic, you're like, hey, this
could happen, because that's what you were taught, right, this
could happen. You put peace soup, verry. What's up guys? Sis?

Speaker 9 (02:12:28):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (02:12:29):
So I think it is? Oh yeah, it's the bab
everything okay, and the boy. I haven't talked to you
guys yet. Who's the new trick? That's a cat. Oh,
she the one who believes in me? She sure is. Yeah, Oh,
what's up, kat? I think she's on the shit.

Speaker 5 (02:12:46):
Let's say she's on the phone saying she's or she's
ignoring you.

Speaker 4 (02:12:52):
She might be.

Speaker 1 (02:12:53):
No, she's she knows, she knows that. I'll draw her
in to my power. I'll draw her in. I'll make
her rethink every she believes. There are things down there
a little warmer than they are of here, Satan. No,
it's actually a lot hotter up there, is it.

Speaker 14 (02:13:11):
Yeah? Down here, we've been taking care of business. Yeah,
we have really high corporate tax rates. We've been recycling
for five thousand years. No, it's I never thought it
was going to go the way it's gone. But it's
really comfortable down here from you to Short's kind of
weather all the time. Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah,

(02:13:34):
way hotter up there. It's gotten to the point where
when people die and they've lived a terrible life, I
send them up there.

Speaker 1 (02:13:43):
Really. Yeah, live with you guys, now, can you tan? Satan?
Can I tan? Yeah?

Speaker 14 (02:13:50):
I mean I tan my butthole with cats about the head.
I do that thing where I stick it to the
sky and you know, you know what they talk about
what the sun don't shine?

Speaker 1 (02:13:59):
Well, they say it's very good for you to do that.
I don't know.

Speaker 14 (02:14:01):
About that, but yeah, anyway, I just wanted to say
I want nothing to do with guys.

Speaker 1 (02:14:09):
That are flossing with girls. Hair. I think Kat's off
the phone.

Speaker 14 (02:14:13):
Oh Heykat, I heard that you were a big fan
of mine.

Speaker 1 (02:14:19):
This is this is the devil.

Speaker 21 (02:14:21):
Hi.

Speaker 1 (02:14:22):
I try to let you know context clues, Rob just
being polite and introducing so she could probably figure out
that it's the devil. Just being polite, dude, this guy AnyWho?

Speaker 14 (02:14:34):
Listen, Kat, I heard you're a big fan. I just
want to say, welcome to whatever that whole thing is.
And I don't think we'll maybe get to know each
other a little better. If that sounds like something you'd.

Speaker 11 (02:14:50):
Like to know, entertain or let me call my local exorcist.

Speaker 14 (02:14:58):
Well, what's he going to do? I don't need some
guys see blocking me.

Speaker 1 (02:15:03):
All right?

Speaker 4 (02:15:04):
What are you doing this weekend.

Speaker 11 (02:15:07):
To church?

Speaker 14 (02:15:08):
I'll be there. I'll be there on Trooper, I'll see
you there, all right. I got all the priests in
my back pocket. All right, listen, I just wanted to
say I want to dip in I'm knocked.

Speaker 1 (02:15:22):
Down with the whole hair flossing thing. So I want
to be on record with that. Wait listen hair.

Speaker 17 (02:15:28):
From her head, that's what they're saying. I believe her head. Yes,
I'm not a fan of I'll talk to you guys later.
Cant'll see in church, all right?

Speaker 21 (02:15:50):
I do three.

Speaker 2 (02:16:05):
The Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 3 (02:16:07):
One us call the Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 22 (02:16:12):
I believe we have another winner on the phone.

Speaker 21 (02:16:15):
What do you think about that?

Speaker 9 (02:16:16):
This guy's a weirdo two one.

Speaker 3 (02:16:18):
Six seven eight one double oh seven or eight one
double oh seven.

Speaker 1 (02:16:38):
Cavaliers play tonight before they hit the road to go
to Detroit and DC.

Speaker 21 (02:16:45):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (02:16:45):
They're gonna host the Boston Celtics tonight. That's a seven
thirty start around the corner here at the Romo Fijo
seven o'clock pregame coverage on the Buzzard and on the
iHeartRadio app. That's the great Michael Snyder that coverage there.
They'll go to Detroit to play the Pistons tomorrow night,
go to DC to play the Wizards on Friday, the

(02:17:07):
back home against the Timberwolves on Monday. Before they hit
the road again, they'll go up to Toronto where imagine.
I don't know if the booing is continuing when Canadian
teams host American teams. I know the Red Wings were
getting booed playing the Vancouver Canucks the other night, but

(02:17:31):
we'll see if that continues. On Wednesday, sounds like Mexico
and Canada both played Donald Trump, which is no big shock,
but they'll sell it as though he made some Johnny
big balls move on both sides of the border. But
Cavs basketball tonight seven thirty start on MMS. My mom.

(02:17:57):
I was talking to my mom about the the DC
plane crash and also the Philly plane crash where it
was I mean, you want to talk about a situation
that just you know, breaks your heart. That plane that
went down in Philly. It was full of Mexican nationals
who were going back after like a kid had had

(02:18:19):
like life saving surgery or something like that. I think
that right, that was the story Sriner's Hospital. Shriner's Hospital, right,
They found the black Box in an eight foot deep crater,
So that thing just hit the go round and let
some houses on fire and it was all, you know.
And that was right on the heels of the DC

(02:18:41):
crash where the Black Hawk helicopter hit that passenger plane,
and my mom texts me and she goes, that Blackhawk
helicopter was coming out of Fort Belvoir, Virginia, which is
where my parents were before or they re stationed at

(02:19:02):
Fort Lee, Virginia, which is where I was born. My
dad was in the Army. I was the I don't
know again I've told the story. I don't know if
I still hold the record. But for a long time,
I was the largest baby ever born at Kenner Army
Hospital in Fort Lee, Virginia. You were like over ten pounds.

(02:19:23):
I was thirteen pounds. Oh my god. I was an
emergency c section. My mom woke up. It was two
weeks overdue. And my mom said she woke up and
felt wet and goes, oh, my water broke, and wakes
my dad up and pulls the covers back and it's blood.
It's like, she goes, she's getting murdered, and they're like,

(02:19:45):
you got to get in here now. They cut her open,
airlifted me out. I was dead for a few minutes.
She said, clinically, wow, they brought me back. They had
to put me in this incubator and put me on
all this stuff. But yeah, I was the size of
a toddler when they pulled me ou out, Holy cown,
and then if you saw me in kindergarten, I essentially
maintained that weight for the first six or seven years

(02:20:06):
of my life. It was a slight child. But yeah,
my mom was like, oh my god, that helicopter was
out of Fort Belvoir and I was like, oh, all right,
it's pretty wild. So again, I don't know. I think
they changed the name of Kenner Army Hospital. And you know,
I could have had my parents been more litigious. It

(02:20:30):
really wasn't so much of a thing back in the
early seventies that people were suing hospitals. But I could
have grown up very wealthy because they left a couple
of sponges in my mom that caused a great deal
of issues for her. And she's like, if we had
really had the moxie back then, if it was who

(02:20:51):
was done more in the early seventies, we could assued
that hospital for all it was worth. I was like, well,
thanks a lot, mom for not doing that. What's the
statute of limitations on that muscle? Can I do it? Yeah? So, yeah,
I was born in Fort Lee, Virginia. Both of my

(02:21:14):
siblings were born in Illinois. All three of my siblings
were born in Illinois, but I was born in Fort Lee,
and I'm curious again. I think they changed the name.
I don't think it's Kenner Army Hospital anymore. I think
it's they've got the name change. But I would love
to know if I was, if I'm still the largest

(02:21:35):
baby ever born there. I wonder if we can call
and find out they have records. I wonder if we
could hello Army Hospital. Yes, how big are your babies?
I'm looking for one in particular. It's a big fat
ass from nineteen seventy one. I don't know why the voice,
but now Kat is a tall woman. Yep, were you

(02:22:01):
a large baby?

Speaker 11 (02:22:04):
I don't think I was. I think I might have
been like seven eight pounds eight pounds, so I was
a C section two, But because my sister before me
was as well. But I think I was a pretty
average or maybe slightly above average size. But every single
one of my nephews and most people in my family,
they're always in like the ninety ninth percent percentile for height.

Speaker 1 (02:22:28):
So you come from tall stock, yeah, definitely, well, because
once you start having sea sections that's all you're going
to have, right. My mom had four sea sections. Wow,
I mean her stomach looked like an accordion. I was like, boy,
and she wanted to have more than just us four
bless her soul, right, she really my mom wanted to

(02:22:49):
be pumping out kids. But it took her a long
time to have my sister. So my sister was born
when I was seventeen. But if my mom had had
her way, I mean she me and my two brothers,
she had three boys by the time she was twenty six,
twenty five something like that. Yeah, she wanted to It's
all my mom and wanted to do.

Speaker 11 (02:23:09):
The hospital I was born at in Cleveland doesn't exist anymore.
It was the Deaconess Hospital. Where was that old Brooklyn
So it's Metro now.

Speaker 1 (02:23:17):
Yeah, Now are you implying that there's a cause and
effect relationship there that perhaps you being born there led
them to look around and go, well, what are you
doing better than this? Shut her down? It was called
Deaconess Hospital. Yeah, why they shut it down?

Speaker 11 (02:23:33):
I'm not sure. Actually, I think Metro just bought it,
you know, I think it's more of a business.

Speaker 1 (02:23:37):
Oh, change the name Deaconess Hospital. Was established in nineteen
fourteen by the Evangelical Deaconess Society as a training institution
for religious sisters. This is on the case Western. Yeah,
I see that website. How about that Universe City Hospitals

(02:24:00):
Health System since nineteen eighty nine, after purchasing land in Brooklyn,
the Ridge Park Medical Center, they constructed all right, AnyWho,
I was a wee baby compared to you guys. That
was only like six pounds, were you? Yeah? Yeah, My
sister was like nine to nine and she was the
lightest of all of us. Wow, and that's still a

(02:24:22):
big baby. That's a big baby. Like my older kids,
they were sizable. My third grader she was seven pounds
seven ounces. I mean that feels like that's I think
bigger than average. But in my family, that feels small.
You're like, oh, what a little peanut. She was under
double digits. Both my girls, they were in the sevens.
But yeah, I was. I was like six and a

(02:24:42):
half and I had jaundice of it. Just stick me
underneath that. Yeah, the billy ribbon thing yep, yep. Thirteen
pounds at birth and ten of it was all your face, Allen,
your fat, fat face, A bitch. I get it. I
was thinking ten of it. Maybe it was in the diaper. No,

(02:25:06):
it was no. Please, every baby boy, if you were
to present a grown man with pictures of him when
he was born, you'd never want anyone to see it.
That's just standard issue baby boys, right, giant balls, tiny
little a corn up top. So what it is? That's

(02:25:28):
how it develops. Cat doesn't have brother. She didn't know this.

Speaker 11 (02:25:31):
You got a boyfriend. All these defends are boys too,
and my nephew. I only have nephews and only boy cousins.
But my dad got stuck with all girls. Even the
cat was a girl. So what I wants to have?

Speaker 1 (02:25:45):
Yeah. By the way, so earlier in the show, we're
talking to Cat. She's got I start following her cat
on the Instagram, little Prince Harvey Harley, and I'm looking
at it. A hairless cat. There's a few pictures there.
I'm like, it's like you named a scrotum. The hairless

(02:26:08):
cat is a choice, dude.

Speaker 11 (02:26:10):
Yeah, I was envisioning with the name Harley. I was
envisioning like a hairless cat with like a black studded
collar and a leather jacket and just like a bad.

Speaker 1 (02:26:20):
Yea but none of the photos have him dressed up
like that. You could dress him up like that. I
got to add a lot more content to that page.

Speaker 11 (02:26:27):
You guys, stay tuned and you'll see all kinds of
things from Harley.

Speaker 1 (02:26:31):
Oh man, how old is Harley?

Speaker 11 (02:26:34):
He's turning three in July.

Speaker 1 (02:26:37):
A hairless cat. Yeah, man, he's awesome. He'd have to be,
because that's a look. M h Allen six pounds six ounces.
I'm six six and over two point fifty Yeah, yeah,
I mean again. You know my mom and a year

(02:27:00):
on my birthday when I was a kid, she loved
telling me the story about how I was dead and
they brought and I got back and I was meant
to live. What kind of pressure is that to put
on a kid? Oh, you were meant to do great things?
And you know how I responded to my parents. I'm
gonna do stand up comedy and then I'm gonna fall

(02:27:20):
ass backwards into radio. How do you like that? All
my siblings have like, legit, you know, impressive jobs. I'm
doing this crap, so yep, knocked that out of the park.
Mom and Dad, Alan My mom bitched out a bunch
of nurses at Deacon His Hospital in the nineties because

(02:27:43):
they weren't treating my allergic reaction. No nuns were in
that group of harlots by then. Harlots. Oh it's a
great word. Oh, get out of here, you a bunch
of harlots. Man. I bet Brian's got thoughts on harlots

(02:28:04):
now that. Yeah, okay. Facebook turns twenty one years old today.
Wow makes you want to drink. Yeah, twenty one and
think of the myriad ways it's improved our lives. Facebook

(02:28:29):
debuted on February fourth, two thousand and four, as the Facebook.
I don't think I got on until like six. Well,
it started in my space, was still right. It was
like a hot or not. It was like for college,
wasn't it. College kids? You had to have a college
email address. Started at Harvard, you know. Famously, Mark Zuckerberg

(02:28:51):
noted Chick Magnet, Mark Zuckerberg and Sean Parker, who was
the founder of Napster played by Justin Timberlake in the
he told Zuckerberg, you gotta get rid of the the Facebook.
He goes drop the because, of course somebody told him
you shouldn't call this the Napster.

Speaker 5 (02:29:13):
That's what everybody over sixty calls it. Anyway, so you
may as well have just left it there.

Speaker 1 (02:29:16):
I'm on the Facebook. Well, you know, we have to
be reminded too, because Facebook is stereotypically the domain now,
you know, the longer these things are around, that is
largely like the platform of like your aunt who's angry.
But there are still a lot of people on Facebook,

(02:29:38):
a lot of people. These other things come along, you know,
Twitter and Instagram and all these other things, and I
think the thought after a while is, no, but he's
on Facebook anymore. There's a lot of people on Facebook.
We see it all the time. I have to remind
myself of that because I'm just not the only time
I'm on Facebook is when I'm checking the show page

(02:29:59):
or something. I'm almost never on my Facebook page. I
just don't go to it. Years ago, I took all
my friends on Facebook, and I'm like, when I still
used it with some regularity, I go, I'm gonna winnow
down my friends on Facebook to the people that I
still legitimately have contact with and relationships with. When I

(02:30:23):
first came to Cleveland, I said, I'll never put listeners
on my Facebook page. That's for people I legitimately know
or have contact with. And I got it down to
three hundred and thirty people on Facebook, and I almost
never so when I do go to my Facebook page,
the things that I see are things that legitimately interest me,

(02:30:46):
like people I know and like. That's why when you
talk about curating your own experience, I don't see the
things on Facebook that other people see. I don't have
an experience of people screaming at each other about politics.
Just don't see it.

Speaker 13 (02:31:01):
Now.

Speaker 1 (02:31:01):
My mom got on Facebook specifically for that reason. She
loves getting in people's hair about politics. Love my mom.
She's one of those people. By her own admission, she's like, oh,
I love goad. Like, Mom, you didn't even want to
have email five years ago. But Facebook turned a lot

(02:31:24):
of people's parents on their heads. But so given that,
it's easy for me sometimes to be like that Facebook,
there's still a ton of people on Facebook.

Speaker 5 (02:31:36):
Well, according to this three one's worldwide.

Speaker 11 (02:31:40):
It's how you keep track of your friend's birthdays.

Speaker 1 (02:31:43):
That's what I'm saying people, Yes, I'll see those. And again,
I don't go to mind that often, so I miss
a lot of birthdays. I don't even have Facebook on
my phone, but yeah, if I fire it up, I'd
be like, oh, yes, so and so's birthday, yeah, or
when my birthday comes up. I got all these messages

(02:32:03):
from people that I know, and I still have various
bits of contact. I know there's people that have like
thousands and thousands of Facebook friends just because they add
everybody and they're like, I don't know who this person is.
I know everybody on mine, but yeah, a ton of people.
So So, anyway, twenty one years of Facebook, and it's
amazing what people put on there. There are people who

(02:32:27):
like have their phone number and their address and then
they're like hoo, they get hucked because you put your
driver's license on their dummy. It's crazy the things people
put on. And I know people some people are like, well,
all of my information is already out there somewhere. It's
like yeah, but why would you, I don't know, make

(02:32:49):
it easier for them or something. Yeah, you know, back
in the day, your relationship status on Facebook that was
a real that was a real marker of your life,
right if you switched to It's complicated, man, that's when
everybody knew your relationship was complicated. Alan how are things going?

Speaker 4 (02:33:16):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (02:33:16):
Have you checked my Facebook relationship status? Thank you very much.
This has complicated, Yes it is complicated, but like you know, listen,
we still see it. People to get, you know, fired
because of Facebook stuff. They're like ranting about their boss
on Facebook. I'm like, what did you think was gonna happen?

(02:33:41):
It's good for our entertainment purposes, but uh, get on.
I'll get on Facebook tonight, make myself a Lavia roller
coaster and uh get on there and have a sip.
I don't even know what it is yet, but gin based.
We'll start with.

Speaker 5 (02:33:58):
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, have a sip of gin and
then start putting little things up.

Speaker 1 (02:34:02):
Okay, gin and milort based, I hear you. Do. You
have a fresh bottle of my Lort's ready to go?
Sure do? Okay, put them together and see what happens. Okay,
start smoking, don't drink it.

Speaker 22 (02:34:14):
And now I must leave you as the Brady bunch
is on and I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 9 (02:34:21):
Get out of it.

Speaker 2 (02:34:22):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way.
Be careful of.

Speaker 1 (02:34:30):
What you do.

Speaker 2 (02:34:33):
Big brother is watching you. Be circumspect and discreet, stay
light on your mental feet. One slip and you know
you're through. Big Brother is watching you.

Speaker 24 (02:34:50):
And well, all narities remember Obedience Pain, And when you
watch that TV screen, remember it works both ways.

Speaker 2 (02:35:04):
You'll disappear in a wink. Unless you can double think,
you'll vanish into the blue.

Speaker 1 (02:35:14):
Big Brother is watching you.