October 16, 2024 • 18 mins
The upcoming parent/teacher conferences for Jack's sons launches the crew into some fantastic recollections about their own class room memories....
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mister Bruce will start there. It's one more thing, I'm
strong and getty. One more. I'm going to parent teacher
conferences for my son over the next couple of days.
And he's got one particular teacher that he does not
particularly like.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Every kid has that, I think in that situation.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Yeah. Sure, And some of the examples he's given sound
semi unpalatable. I mean, you know, I the beholder. Sure,
Oh yeah, but two sides every story. Of course. I
was thinking about some of the teachers that I did
not like as opposed to teachers I liked. I had
many teachers that I liked a lot, were freaking awesome,
and I wish I wish I had a way to
(00:43):
get a hold of them or they were live so
I could tell them how much I thought they were awesome. Yeah,
amen to that, But there were there were some So
I was wondering if Katie Jo Michael can think of
any examples. I've got a couple that, speaking of mister Bruce,
either didn't like or were weird. Mister Bruce.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Would sounds like a gay fashion icon or something consultant.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I've wondered that over the years he was he he
was pretty swishy, and I don't know if that had
anything to do with anything or n was his last
name Bruce or his first name Bruce. I think his
last name was Bruce. Okay, all, and mister Bruce is appropriate.
I don't even remember anyway. I'm in like fifth grade, gladys.
Maybe one harp since these are all going to be
(01:29):
from its tiresome. After a while, it was, gosh, she
got carpal tunnel, and then we'll be on the hook.
She's on our insurance plan. Mister Bruce. After lunch every
day he would walk in. He had a locker there,
and we all knew it. I mean we became accustomed
to so we'd wait for it. It was part of the act.
He'd come back after recess, and so we got lunch
(01:50):
in recess. He'd come in. He'd walk over his turtle
next wetter and he would open up the locker and
he would get out a big thing of listine, like
the old gross yellow kind that wasn't like minty. You
probably don't even know this, Katie, but it didn't used
to be minty or whatever. He just didn't even try
to make it palatin him. No, it's just like taste
it like caustic chemicals or alcohol, which is what it was. Yeah,
(02:10):
And he would he would he would take his listerine
and he would pour himself a big thing of listerine
and he'd put in his mouth and he'd tilts his
head back in front of the classroom and go do
the whole gargle right in front of us, and then
he would turn and look at us and then he
would go swallow it down, and we'd all go ew.
Every day, swallow it yeah, which I now realize was
(02:31):
him basically taking a shot of whiskey to deal with
teaching fifth grader's social study. You know who can blame him, wow,
But every day and it just became a thing, you know,
ew every single day with that smile on his face
as he swallowed down his listerine, having just gargled up
whatever was in his mouth.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
The one the one thing I've realized is I have
compared notes through my life, is that if you never
had a band director that through things at the kids,
you're a rarity. I mean, I thought that was so
crazy that our band director would get mad and chuck
his keys and usually it'd be over somebody's head or
(03:13):
something like that a warning shot. But in comparing notes
with other musicians, especially through my life, they're like, wow,
my guy did that.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Too, Yeah, didn't band director through things? Racers, batons?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah. The The unspoken message was I was the most
gifted musician in my town. My dreams went to hell,
and now I'm here failing to teach music to kids
who don't care.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Who don't even care about the thing I'm so passionate about. Yeah,
that would make you mad.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, to some extent.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
You know.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
It's funny now having said that, now I get why
all my band directors were so nice to me, because.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Oh, yeah, that don't make a difference. Yeah, that don't
make a difference. I get two examples. This is not
bad teachers. This is me being dumb, I guess. But
twice this happened to me in my career. And it's
funny the things that stick in your mind. Obviously it
made an imprint on me. My doctor was telling me
the other day about what they've learned about things that
are sticky in your brain. Oh, I'd love to hear me, man.
(04:16):
And it's super interesting, and a lot of it is
I have memories that are inexplicable. Why would I remember that. Yeah,
it's not always easy to know, but a lot of
it is just evolution. It's like to remember this fear
moment so you don't have it to have it again.
You know this almost killed you or almost killed you
or whatever. But a couple of them because I was
(04:37):
just so frightened. One time, we're in line, so this
would have been fifth grade, because I can picture the teacher.
I can picture that she was wearing a blue dress.
I can picture it like it was yesterday. But the
fifth grader, somebody said something in line as we're staying
in line to go out somewhere, and what was that?
She said? And some kids were you mocking me? Who's
wocking me? Somebody who's wocking me? Who's I will not
(05:00):
put up with this. Somebody was mocking me? And none
of us had the slightest idea what mock meant? I know,
I didn't. Yeah, And we were like, what the hell?
Who did what? And why is she so mad? We've
never seen her this mad ever? Right, And I can't
answer the question because I don't know what that. You
don't know what it is? Who's mocking me? And she
went one by one, were you mocking me. I did all.
(05:22):
I may have been or I may not have been.
Know it depends on the meaning of mocking. But anyway,
so that sticks in my mind because I was so frightened.
Maybe I was mocking her and I don't know. Uh,
there's that one. And then a similar thing with the
band teacher. I would have been in eighth grade, and
I should have known the meaning of this world. Just word.
It just shows you how dumb I am. But uh,
I was. I was not paying attention. We were supposed
(05:44):
to be doing something in band. None of us were.
And uh, and we're laughing about something. You said, cot
the levity cock the levity right now? Wow, cut it?
And I thought, I don't know what levity is. I
don't know what I'm but I will. I will cut
it out. You see it, You see me murderously angry.
So I will. God, there's any levity in this room,
(06:04):
I'll put it in a bucket and carry it out.
But I had no idea what he meant. And I
can still picture the look on his face. He was furious.
Oh yeah, yeah, red faced. Yeah, I don't know what
levity is.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I appreciate the class with which he was upbraiding you
all and just stained a little high.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Oh jeez, Katie, you have.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Anything, Uh, I I don't. I don't think I had
like a bad teacher. I had a couple of real
odd balls though. My I remember my home ex teacher
my freshman year walked around barefoot and she she was
a large marge, if you know what I mean, and
all of us she would walk by and we were
just going.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Her feet were hot. She need to let him breathe. Yeah,
that one.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
And then I remember we had a sub for history,
I believe, who sounded like Toweley from South Park. She
talked like this, and we were just giving her all
sorts of hell.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
And I was wearing I.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Was wearing a shirt that said little miss Muffett sat
on her toffet until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked her into
a glacier.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Wow, you still remember your teacher wordy t shirt? Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
And she looked at me and she I just remember going,
what does your shirt say? And I stood up and
I pointed at the back of it like a real jackass,
and she just went get out.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
She took me out of the classics. That's what my shirt.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Said, get out, Get out. Wow, Sory, that's an hot
T shirt.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
She was. I have no idea what her name was
because we all called her towly. Wow.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Was your dad aware of that T shirt? Did you
ever get a you're not leaving the house in that,
young lady?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I know, I think he knew I had it. But
that's not a scene or anything. No, not at all. No,
it's it's quirky as hell. I love it. Yeah, but
it was one of those two parts.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
So, like said, the front of it was little miss
Muffet sat on her toffet, and then I had to
turn around and show.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
The back and get out of this class. Wait, why
all right, fine, I'll leave Tally. Yeah, I was, oh.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Jeez, wow, juvenile delinquent. Uh yeah wow. On the other hand,
there were some great teachers.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Yep. Can I tell you about mister Yoakum, my science teacher? Sure,
Oh my gosh, he was the best. Is I wonder
he didn't burn down the school or or hurt his student.
But one time we're out in the playground area and
also we hear this explosion, like this loud noise. We
go in to the classroom and there he is, and
there's smoke coming out from under his arms. He looks
at us, he goes, damn it, I screwed up again.
(08:46):
He did this stuff all the time. He'd like to
take like a model rocket, light it and shoot it
into the ceiling. The ceiling had holes from all the
different years that he shot rockets.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Wow, I like, damn, I screwed up again, son of
I thought that would work well and for next time.
Speaker 5 (09:01):
For the laws of physics. He would take a bowling ball,
suspend it from the classroom. I still remember this, and
he would pull it back and you have a students,
Oh my god, say stick your face out.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
And write the idea that it can't go further than
right gravity will Yeah, I'm aware of that.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
It would get within like a half an inch.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I mean I saw one of these days. It's my
teacher did that with the tennis ball. But and you
know there's no chance really of But still, you don't
need a bowling ball coming in with a hair's breadth
of smashing your face open.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, what if you like lose your balance a little
and lean forward an inch and a half.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
If you get your skull caved in, try to hold still.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Michael, we had a teacher like that, as well, who
I believe listens to the show, mister Lawrence, who I
will always remember he used to strap Barbie dolls to
rockets and launch him in the oh the.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Court like that, I do know, and Joe and I
have talked about this before. For me, the teachers that
were the most feared and hated were always my favorite
because one, they they had discipline, so the class was
orderly and I could pay attention, and and they were
usually they were very enthusiastic about what they were teaching,
(10:11):
and they were good at teaching it. But man, the
teachers that were legendarily scary were almost always my favorite.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah regular yeah, and the legend that you'd hear for
oh yeah, the two years approaching eighth grade before you
finally had mister mean pans right.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Oh, he didn't put up with crap, which is fine
with me. Good. One of my favorite teachers, like I had,
was a I was a very introverted, not particularly enjoying
my life kid for all of high school. But my
ninth grade English teacher totally got me and understood me
and everything like that in a way no other teacher
(10:47):
ever had. And it was just I mean, it was
life changing. That's great. It was fantastic.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I remember one time I was doodling something I don't remember.
I was dudeling. I was writing something funny on a
piece of paper and he saw it over my shoulder
and he started laughing and he held it up and
he said, this is Jack. What you see every day
is not Jack. This is Jack. Wow, he said to
the class. He knew me, good will, hunting, dead poets,
(11:13):
society stuff. I think he got fired for uh oh
oh boy oh dark turn dark turn alert, dark turnal
art allegedly flirting with a student. I don't know if
he did or not, but yeah, I'm be unfortunate. Are
those things don't go together? No, him recognizing my mind, no,
(11:35):
not at all. Comedic abilities and uh being attracted to
high school girls don't go together? Is well no, no,
yes and no no end.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yes, he was relating to students as fully human beings,
as opposed to just someone coming through the class. There
was an infamy alleged affair between a teacher and a
student at my high school.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Really what are the ages here? Way too old and
a senior, so it wasn't like a twenty year old teacher. No, no,
which is still, you know, strictly against the rules, and
you've got to be more disciplined than law.
Speaker 5 (12:21):
Yeah, but yeah, it was eighteen and sixty five.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
No, I'd have to guess at how old this guy was.
He was certainly forty.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Ooh and forty year old dude.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
The word was they were seriously close friends. They had
a deep emotional attachment.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Huh, which happens? And I don't I.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Don't actually know about any hanky and or panky, And
I wouldn't speculate after all these years because my memories
are fuzzy. But my the birth of my cynicism, well
maybe not the birth. One of the major chapters in
my cynicism about human beings was in fifth grade science class,
where the science teacher was is a halfway. He was
(13:10):
a mediocrity. I think he couldn't have done anything else
in life, which is not to denigrate teachers. I know
in love quite a few. But he was doing this
thing about the difference between hearing and listening, feeling and touching,
(13:31):
seeing and looking. But he got the last one backward.
He got it wrong, and he wouldn't admit it. And
I argued with him, and he said, no, you're wrong,
You're wrong, and I'm like, wow, okay, so sometimes people
in authority are a wrong and.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
B a holes about it. Wow huh that was he
taught me an important lesson? Is it turned interesting?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (13:54):
Didn't one of you have a teacher that made you
swim in the nude? No, sir, I thought you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I had a story about that.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
That was Josh my dad in like the nineteen Force.
It's still weird though I was universal at the time.
I know Catholic school though, yes, so so yeah, yeah,
I'm at the point being Catholic schools are famously unable
to afford swim trucks. And there was a lineup all
(14:25):
the way down the hall for who would get to
be gym teacher that day among certain of the clergy.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
She will line up all the boys naked so you
can give him the once over and choose one of
them to be. Oh boy, yeah, sorry, I got it.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I told you there was dark turn coming and just
took a little longer than I expected.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
God. And the one thing I liked about mister Champlain
also my final story would be when we were doing
we had to give a speech about some literature, and
he went through this whole complicated thing about introductions to
a speech to grab people's attention or everything like that.
You know, set up, you're what you're going to talk about.
And I stood up to give my speech and I said,
(15:07):
speaking of Shakespeare from my introduction. And he thought that
was hilarious and gave me a wow, that's my whole introduction.
That's nice. Oh well, that's a that's swimming naked thing.
Oh boy. Oh one more thing about the schools. This
is interesting at uh one of the schools I'm aware of.
I don't want to get anybody in trouble. I don't
(15:28):
even know why they did this. It's weird. It's got
to be something to do with the modern naked math class.
The bathroom, the boys' bathroom at the high school.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
The urine.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Each urinal is individual in a stall with a door
that closes.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Oh one, I wonder if they had that like people
being assaulted thing, because you're rather vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Is that a trans thing?
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Well, what do you mean you're Oh, hell of that,
that's what I'm saying. What when you mean you're vulnerable?
It's been the same way forever, but all of a sudden,
now you have to be yelling.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
At me just because I haven't figured out why they
do it.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
It just seems crazy to me to cut the levity. Next, first,
and the mocking. First of all, what does it cost
you belding to build a bathroom like that as opposed
to just all the urinals side? But I mean I
went to schools where there was a trough. We all
stepped up to the same trough. Now a school trough. Yeah,
that's prehistoric. But the individual cement stall, you close the
(16:33):
door behind you for one single ural, you think it's
a trans thing. I think it is too. That was
my first thought. I'll bet it is.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
You know. I was in a business the other day
where that was it. I walked in the bathroom and
I'm like, where are the urinals? And I realized, oh,
those stalls booths.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yea, their booths are like a telephone booth for for
for your nation, which telephone booths are for your nation too,
if you're.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
As our elevators, if you're riding the bar.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
But yeah, so I'm I'm guessing that's a trans thing.
So just to stay ahead of it and avoid problems, Okay,
we'll just have doors that close and all the urinal's
fine whatever, so they can't see.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
The girl's penises and the boys for j J. I
get sorry, Katie, I interrupted you because of sexism.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Oh no, well yeah, of course that was the reason.
But isn't the privacy nice kind of a little bit?
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I like it?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah to the next guy in the urinal guy, I
am immune from his ugly advances.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
I yeah, I suppose. I don't know. The fiscal conservative
in me just thought, what did it freaking cost to
remake the bathrooms like this? Yeah, for the one out
of a thousand kids who got a problem.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah, and now Jack's the guy in the next doll, going.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
How much do you think? There's things exactly yelling over
the stall? Unbelievable. We're in our own stalls. So buddy,
I climb up on the top of this dog to
peak over. This is crazy, isn't it beautiful?
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Well, I guess that's it.
Mister Bruce will start there. It's one more thing, I'm
strong and getty. One more. I'm going to parent teacher
conferences for my son over the next couple of days.
And he's got one particular teacher that he does not
particularly like.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Every kid has that, I think in that situation.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Yeah. Sure, And some of the examples he's given sound
semi unpalatable. I mean, you know, I the beholder. Sure,
Oh yeah, but two sides every story. Of course. I
was thinking about some of the teachers that I did
not like as opposed to teachers I liked. I had
many teachers that I liked a lot, were freaking awesome,
and I wish I wish I had a way to
(00:43):
get a hold of them or they were live so
I could tell them how much I thought they were awesome. Yeah,
amen to that, But there were there were some So
I was wondering if Katie Jo Michael can think of
any examples. I've got a couple that, speaking of mister Bruce,
either didn't like or were weird. Mister Bruce.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Would sounds like a gay fashion icon or something consultant.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
I've wondered that over the years he was he he
was pretty swishy, and I don't know if that had
anything to do with anything or n was his last
name Bruce or his first name Bruce. I think his
last name was Bruce. Okay, all, and mister Bruce is appropriate.
I don't even remember anyway. I'm in like fifth grade, gladys.
Maybe one harp since these are all going to be
(01:29):
from its tiresome. After a while, it was, gosh, she
got carpal tunnel, and then we'll be on the hook.
She's on our insurance plan. Mister Bruce. After lunch every
day he would walk in. He had a locker there,
and we all knew it. I mean we became accustomed
to so we'd wait for it. It was part of the act.
He'd come back after recess, and so we got lunch
(01:50):
in recess. He'd come in. He'd walk over his turtle
next wetter and he would open up the locker and
he would get out a big thing of listine, like
the old gross yellow kind that wasn't like minty. You
probably don't even know this, Katie, but it didn't used
to be minty or whatever. He just didn't even try
to make it palatin him. No, it's just like taste
it like caustic chemicals or alcohol, which is what it was. Yeah,
(02:10):
And he would he would he would take his listerine
and he would pour himself a big thing of listerine
and he'd put in his mouth and he'd tilts his
head back in front of the classroom and go do
the whole gargle right in front of us, and then
he would turn and look at us and then he
would go swallow it down, and we'd all go ew.
Every day, swallow it yeah, which I now realize was
(02:31):
him basically taking a shot of whiskey to deal with
teaching fifth grader's social study. You know who can blame him, wow,
But every day and it just became a thing, you know,
ew every single day with that smile on his face
as he swallowed down his listerine, having just gargled up
whatever was in his mouth.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
The one the one thing I've realized is I have
compared notes through my life, is that if you never
had a band director that through things at the kids,
you're a rarity. I mean, I thought that was so
crazy that our band director would get mad and chuck
his keys and usually it'd be over somebody's head or
(03:13):
something like that a warning shot. But in comparing notes
with other musicians, especially through my life, they're like, wow,
my guy did that.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Too, Yeah, didn't band director through things? Racers, batons?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah. The The unspoken message was I was the most
gifted musician in my town. My dreams went to hell,
and now I'm here failing to teach music to kids
who don't care.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Who don't even care about the thing I'm so passionate about. Yeah,
that would make you mad.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, to some extent.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
You know.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
It's funny now having said that, now I get why
all my band directors were so nice to me, because.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Oh, yeah, that don't make a difference. Yeah, that don't
make a difference. I get two examples. This is not
bad teachers. This is me being dumb, I guess. But
twice this happened to me in my career. And it's
funny the things that stick in your mind. Obviously it
made an imprint on me. My doctor was telling me
the other day about what they've learned about things that
are sticky in your brain. Oh, I'd love to hear me, man.
(04:16):
And it's super interesting, and a lot of it is
I have memories that are inexplicable. Why would I remember that. Yeah,
it's not always easy to know, but a lot of
it is just evolution. It's like to remember this fear
moment so you don't have it to have it again.
You know this almost killed you or almost killed you
or whatever. But a couple of them because I was
(04:37):
just so frightened. One time, we're in line, so this
would have been fifth grade, because I can picture the teacher.
I can picture that she was wearing a blue dress.
I can picture it like it was yesterday. But the
fifth grader, somebody said something in line as we're staying
in line to go out somewhere, and what was that?
She said? And some kids were you mocking me? Who's
wocking me? Somebody who's wocking me? Who's I will not
(05:00):
put up with this. Somebody was mocking me? And none
of us had the slightest idea what mock meant? I know,
I didn't. Yeah, And we were like, what the hell?
Who did what? And why is she so mad? We've
never seen her this mad ever? Right, And I can't
answer the question because I don't know what that. You
don't know what it is? Who's mocking me? And she
went one by one, were you mocking me. I did all.
(05:22):
I may have been or I may not have been.
Know it depends on the meaning of mocking. But anyway,
so that sticks in my mind because I was so frightened.
Maybe I was mocking her and I don't know. Uh,
there's that one. And then a similar thing with the
band teacher. I would have been in eighth grade, and
I should have known the meaning of this world. Just word.
It just shows you how dumb I am. But uh,
I was. I was not paying attention. We were supposed
(05:44):
to be doing something in band. None of us were.
And uh, and we're laughing about something. You said, cot
the levity cock the levity right now? Wow, cut it?
And I thought, I don't know what levity is. I
don't know what I'm but I will. I will cut
it out. You see it, You see me murderously angry.
So I will. God, there's any levity in this room,
(06:04):
I'll put it in a bucket and carry it out.
But I had no idea what he meant. And I
can still picture the look on his face. He was furious.
Oh yeah, yeah, red faced. Yeah, I don't know what
levity is.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I appreciate the class with which he was upbraiding you
all and just stained a little high.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Oh jeez, Katie, you have.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Anything, Uh, I I don't. I don't think I had
like a bad teacher. I had a couple of real
odd balls though. My I remember my home ex teacher
my freshman year walked around barefoot and she she was
a large marge, if you know what I mean, and
all of us she would walk by and we were
just going.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Her feet were hot. She need to let him breathe. Yeah,
that one.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
And then I remember we had a sub for history,
I believe, who sounded like Toweley from South Park. She
talked like this, and we were just giving her all
sorts of hell.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
And I was wearing I.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Was wearing a shirt that said little miss Muffett sat
on her toffet until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked her into
a glacier.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Wow, you still remember your teacher wordy t shirt? Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
And she looked at me and she I just remember going,
what does your shirt say? And I stood up and
I pointed at the back of it like a real jackass,
and she just went get out.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
She took me out of the classics. That's what my shirt.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Said, get out, Get out. Wow, Sory, that's an hot
T shirt.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
She was. I have no idea what her name was
because we all called her towly. Wow.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Was your dad aware of that T shirt? Did you
ever get a you're not leaving the house in that,
young lady?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I know, I think he knew I had it. But
that's not a scene or anything. No, not at all. No,
it's it's quirky as hell. I love it. Yeah, but
it was one of those two parts.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
So, like said, the front of it was little miss
Muffet sat on her toffet, and then I had to
turn around and show.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
The back and get out of this class. Wait, why
all right, fine, I'll leave Tally. Yeah, I was, oh.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Jeez, wow, juvenile delinquent. Uh yeah wow. On the other hand,
there were some great teachers.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Yep. Can I tell you about mister Yoakum, my science teacher? Sure,
Oh my gosh, he was the best. Is I wonder
he didn't burn down the school or or hurt his student.
But one time we're out in the playground area and
also we hear this explosion, like this loud noise. We
go in to the classroom and there he is, and
there's smoke coming out from under his arms. He looks
at us, he goes, damn it, I screwed up again.
(08:46):
He did this stuff all the time. He'd like to
take like a model rocket, light it and shoot it
into the ceiling. The ceiling had holes from all the
different years that he shot rockets.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Wow, I like, damn, I screwed up again, son of
I thought that would work well and for next time.
Speaker 5 (09:01):
For the laws of physics. He would take a bowling ball,
suspend it from the classroom. I still remember this, and
he would pull it back and you have a students,
Oh my god, say stick your face out.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
And write the idea that it can't go further than
right gravity will Yeah, I'm aware of that.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
It would get within like a half an inch.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I mean I saw one of these days. It's my
teacher did that with the tennis ball. But and you
know there's no chance really of But still, you don't
need a bowling ball coming in with a hair's breadth
of smashing your face open.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, what if you like lose your balance a little
and lean forward an inch and a half.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
If you get your skull caved in, try to hold still.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Michael, we had a teacher like that, as well, who
I believe listens to the show, mister Lawrence, who I
will always remember he used to strap Barbie dolls to
rockets and launch him in the oh the.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Court like that, I do know, and Joe and I
have talked about this before. For me, the teachers that
were the most feared and hated were always my favorite
because one, they they had discipline, so the class was
orderly and I could pay attention, and and they were
usually they were very enthusiastic about what they were teaching,
(10:11):
and they were good at teaching it. But man, the
teachers that were legendarily scary were almost always my favorite.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah regular yeah, and the legend that you'd hear for
oh yeah, the two years approaching eighth grade before you
finally had mister mean pans right.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Oh, he didn't put up with crap, which is fine
with me. Good. One of my favorite teachers, like I had,
was a I was a very introverted, not particularly enjoying
my life kid for all of high school. But my
ninth grade English teacher totally got me and understood me
and everything like that in a way no other teacher
(10:47):
ever had. And it was just I mean, it was
life changing. That's great. It was fantastic.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I remember one time I was doodling something I don't remember.
I was dudeling. I was writing something funny on a
piece of paper and he saw it over my shoulder
and he started laughing and he held it up and
he said, this is Jack. What you see every day
is not Jack. This is Jack. Wow, he said to
the class. He knew me, good will, hunting, dead poets,
(11:13):
society stuff. I think he got fired for uh oh
oh boy oh dark turn dark turn alert, dark turnal
art allegedly flirting with a student. I don't know if
he did or not, but yeah, I'm be unfortunate. Are
those things don't go together? No, him recognizing my mind, no,
(11:35):
not at all. Comedic abilities and uh being attracted to
high school girls don't go together? Is well no, no,
yes and no no end.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yes, he was relating to students as fully human beings,
as opposed to just someone coming through the class. There
was an infamy alleged affair between a teacher and a
student at my high school.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Really what are the ages here? Way too old and
a senior, so it wasn't like a twenty year old teacher. No, no,
which is still, you know, strictly against the rules, and
you've got to be more disciplined than law.
Speaker 5 (12:21):
Yeah, but yeah, it was eighteen and sixty five.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
No, I'd have to guess at how old this guy was.
He was certainly forty.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Ooh and forty year old dude.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
The word was they were seriously close friends. They had
a deep emotional attachment.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Huh, which happens? And I don't I.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Don't actually know about any hanky and or panky, And
I wouldn't speculate after all these years because my memories
are fuzzy. But my the birth of my cynicism, well
maybe not the birth. One of the major chapters in
my cynicism about human beings was in fifth grade science class,
where the science teacher was is a halfway. He was
(13:10):
a mediocrity. I think he couldn't have done anything else
in life, which is not to denigrate teachers. I know
in love quite a few. But he was doing this
thing about the difference between hearing and listening, feeling and touching,
(13:31):
seeing and looking. But he got the last one backward.
He got it wrong, and he wouldn't admit it. And
I argued with him, and he said, no, you're wrong,
You're wrong, and I'm like, wow, okay, so sometimes people
in authority are a wrong and.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
B a holes about it. Wow huh that was he
taught me an important lesson? Is it turned interesting?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (13:54):
Didn't one of you have a teacher that made you
swim in the nude? No, sir, I thought you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I had a story about that.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
That was Josh my dad in like the nineteen Force.
It's still weird though I was universal at the time.
I know Catholic school though, yes, so so yeah, yeah,
I'm at the point being Catholic schools are famously unable
to afford swim trucks. And there was a lineup all
(14:25):
the way down the hall for who would get to
be gym teacher that day among certain of the clergy.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
She will line up all the boys naked so you
can give him the once over and choose one of
them to be. Oh boy, yeah, sorry, I got it.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I told you there was dark turn coming and just
took a little longer than I expected.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
God. And the one thing I liked about mister Champlain
also my final story would be when we were doing
we had to give a speech about some literature, and
he went through this whole complicated thing about introductions to
a speech to grab people's attention or everything like that.
You know, set up, you're what you're going to talk about.
And I stood up to give my speech and I said,
(15:07):
speaking of Shakespeare from my introduction. And he thought that
was hilarious and gave me a wow, that's my whole introduction.
That's nice. Oh well, that's a that's swimming naked thing.
Oh boy. Oh one more thing about the schools. This
is interesting at uh one of the schools I'm aware of.
I don't want to get anybody in trouble. I don't
(15:28):
even know why they did this. It's weird. It's got
to be something to do with the modern naked math class.
The bathroom, the boys' bathroom at the high school.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
The urine.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Each urinal is individual in a stall with a door
that closes.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Oh one, I wonder if they had that like people
being assaulted thing, because you're rather vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Is that a trans thing?
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Well, what do you mean you're Oh, hell of that,
that's what I'm saying. What when you mean you're vulnerable?
It's been the same way forever, but all of a sudden,
now you have to be yelling.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
At me just because I haven't figured out why they
do it.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
It just seems crazy to me to cut the levity. Next, first,
and the mocking. First of all, what does it cost
you belding to build a bathroom like that as opposed
to just all the urinals side? But I mean I
went to schools where there was a trough. We all
stepped up to the same trough. Now a school trough. Yeah,
that's prehistoric. But the individual cement stall, you close the
(16:33):
door behind you for one single ural, you think it's
a trans thing. I think it is too. That was
my first thought. I'll bet it is.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
You know. I was in a business the other day
where that was it. I walked in the bathroom and
I'm like, where are the urinals? And I realized, oh,
those stalls booths.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yea, their booths are like a telephone booth for for
for your nation, which telephone booths are for your nation too,
if you're.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
As our elevators, if you're riding the bar.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
But yeah, so I'm I'm guessing that's a trans thing.
So just to stay ahead of it and avoid problems, Okay,
we'll just have doors that close and all the urinal's
fine whatever, so they can't see.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
The girl's penises and the boys for j J. I
get sorry, Katie, I interrupted you because of sexism.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Oh no, well yeah, of course that was the reason.
But isn't the privacy nice kind of a little bit?
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I like it?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah to the next guy in the urinal guy, I
am immune from his ugly advances.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
I yeah, I suppose. I don't know. The fiscal conservative
in me just thought, what did it freaking cost to
remake the bathrooms like this? Yeah, for the one out
of a thousand kids who got a problem.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah, and now Jack's the guy in the next doll, going.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
How much do you think? There's things exactly yelling over
the stall? Unbelievable. We're in our own stalls. So buddy,
I climb up on the top of this dog to
peak over. This is crazy, isn't it beautiful?
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Well, I guess that's it.
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Joe Getty
Jack Armstrong
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