From DEVASTATED to DIVORCED: Your guide through the unwanted end of a marriage.

In this week's 5 Tips episode, I challenge five common pieces of relationship advice that I don't see the same way anymore. Some have been passed down for generations, while others have exploded on social media in recent years. From "love conquers all" to "Time heals all wounds," I share why I think some of our most accepted relationship beliefs deserve a second look. Sometimes healing isn't just about moving on from a relationship...

In this episode, I introduce a simple idea I've been thinking about called the 75/25 Rule. It's not a scientific formula, just a different way of looking at relationships and self-worth. If you've built a life where you're generally happy on your own, why would you choose a relationship that consistently leaves you feeling less fulfilled? This conversation explores why a healthy relationship should add to your life rather than beco...

In this episode, I share my very honest thoughts about Love Island and why I struggle to watch it. While I understand it's entertainment, I can't help but question the relationship dynamics it celebrates and the messages it sends about love, self-worth, and how people should treat one another. From disrespect and emotional games to the way women are often expected to tolerate behavior they...

In this episode, I revisit one of the romance novels I loved in the 1990s and was surprised by what I saw through today's lens. What once felt romantic now looked very different, filled with relationship dynamics and red flags that I barely noticed years ago. It made me wonder how the books, movies, and love stories we grew up with may have quietly shaped our expectations of relationships without us even realizing it. This conversa...

In this episode, I react to a video in which a famous young woman defended herself and her husband after viewers criticized footage of her carrying multiple bags while pushing a stroller as he walked behind her empty-handed. What caught my attention wasn't the video itself, but the response: "Since when did women become incapable of carrying their own bags?" It sparked a larger conversation about the difference between being capabl...

In this episode, I explore a piece of relationship advice that has been making the rounds: "Stay until you hate him." While I understand the thinking behind it, I can't help but wonder if we're aiming for the wrong destination. Do you really need to reach a place of resentment, bitterness, or emotional exhaustion before giving yourself permission to leave a relationship that isn't meeting your needs? This conversation explores the ...

This week, I'm revisiting a conversation from the archives that feels just as relevant today as it did when it was first recorded. Long before the podcast became From Devastated to Divorced, I sat down with a couple close friends to discuss a concept known as "kin keeping"—the often invisible work of maintaining family relationships, remembering birthdays, organizing gatherings, checking in on relatives, and carrying the emot...

In this episode, I discuss a topic that sparks surprisingly strong opinions: child support arrears that are paid years later, sometimes after a child has already become an adult. When that money finally arrives, who was it really meant for? The child who has grown up, or the parent who spent years covering the expenses that should have been shared all along? This conversation explores the purpose of child support, the financial rea...

In this episode, I share a more personal and honest conversation about child support and the role it played in helping me rebuild my life after separation. I talk about the stability it created, the breathing room it gave me as a mother, and why I think it’s okay to acknowledge when support truly helped you move forward. This is not about bragging or comparing experiences, especially knowing many women struggle to receive the...

In this episode, I explore the phrase “it’s not you, it’s me” and why I think we may have been looking at it the wrong way all along. So often after rejection or a breakup, we immediately internalize the ending and turn it into a statement about our worth. But sometimes a relationship ending really is about the other person, their emotional limitations, their readiness, their needs, or simply incompatibility...

In this episode, I share my thoughts on teen romance TV shows and movies, and how the relationships they portray often lean more toward chaos than connection. Looking at these stories through an adult lens, it’s hard to ignore how much drama, insecurity, and emotional imbalance are presented as normal or even romantic. This conversation explores how these portrayals can shape expectations for young women, and why it’s i...

In this episode, I talk about a phrase many women find themselves using to justify staying in a relationship that doesn’t fully meet their needs: “but he’s not a bad guy.” While it may feel like a reasonable standard, this way of thinking can quietly shift the focus away from your own experience and what you actually need in a relationship. This conversation explores the difference between someone being a go...

In this episode, I revisit last week’s conversation about effort in relationships and share a personal story that made me pause and reflect on my own assumptions. There was a time when I interpreted a missed gesture as a lack of care, but with more context, I realized there was more going on beneath the surface than I had allowed myself to see. This episode explores how quickly we can create meaning around someone’s act...

In this episode, I react to a video I came across on social media where a woman asked her husband to choose her birthday cake so she wouldn’t have to make another decision. What he brought back, a children’s dinosaur cake, sparked a lot of thoughts for me around effort, intention, and how we interpret moments like these in relationships. Was it harmless, thoughtless, or something deeper like low effort or even weaponize...

In this episode, I revisit the classic children’s book The Giving Tree with a very different perspective than I had growing up. Reading it now, through the lens of relationships, self-worth, and emotional balance, I couldn’t help but see a dynamic that feels less like unconditional love and more like one-sided giving. This conversation explores what happens when giving becomes self-sacrifice, how imbalance can be mistak...

In this episode, I talk about what can happen when you enter a new relationship after divorce without fully doing the emotional work first. Instead of feeling secure and present, many women find themselves anxious, waiting for things to go wrong, and constantly trying to protect themselves from being hurt again. This conversation explores how unresolved pain and unclear self-worth can quietly sabotage the potential of something goo...

Let’s talk about that messy, uncomfortable, totally normal stage of post-separation life—the one where you feel like a stranger in your own skin. Who are you now? What comes next? Rebuilding your confidence after separation isn’t about pretending to have it all together—it’s about giving yourself permission to grow, stumble, and learn along the way.

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In this episode, I reflect on a simple but powerful mindset shift I heard from Seth Godin, replacing the word “but” with “and” when talking about your thoughts and emotions. After heartbreak or separation, it’s easy to feel like you have to choose between conflicting feelings, like being strong or struggling, missing someone or knowing it’s over. But healing doesn’t work that way. This conv...

In this episode, I reflect on something that doesn’t get talked about often in divorce conversations: the quiet role of a healthy ex. Over the past 14 years, my ex-husband’s partner has barely had to think about me, and that’s exactly the point. There’s been no drama, no confrontations, and no attempts to insert myself into their relationship. I share why being a “non-issue” in your ex’s ne...