March 20, 2025 • 31 mins
Whats Your Best Story, News Headlines, This Week in Audio & More!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Class is now in session. A good morning everybody, good
good morning, good morning, and a glorious free Friday. It's
a Thursday morning to you. It is the Woody Show.
It is March the twentieth, twenty twenty five. Hello, welcome,
(00:27):
we are the Woody Show. I'm Woody. That's great. Gory, Hello, Menace,
good morning to you. Good morning, Woody. Gina Grant's right there.
We got Sammy. Hello, we got Sea Mass, I see
Bort and Andrew. Woody Show Production department. Our associate producer.
She's taking to call us. Her name is Morgan. We
got Von our video producer. Phones are open at eight
seven seven forty four, Woody. You can send us a
(00:48):
text over to to nine eight seven. Today is a
story day. Apparently Sammy was telling us about that, and
everybody's got like kind of not not their go to
story thiscessarily, but what they think is like their most
interesting or their best.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh yeah, sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
So I'm gonna go around the room and I'm gonna
see what everybody's best story. All right now, I'm sure
we all heard.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We probably heard, because we've.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Been working the show for god two decades almost.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
I know.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I wonder if there's anything you guys don't know, but
we don't know about each other.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I feel like I feel like I didn't know that
story that Sammy referenced. Maybe I wasn't here that day,
because I think I would have remembered that, like Greg
prankin with his friend.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Oh yeah, but that was like not on the air, right, No,
I think I've told it.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Like, I'm surprised I have, even on or off the
I'm surprised I hadn't heard it.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Okay, maybe I'll tell it today.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, Okay, you have a better story than that, right
I would.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
I would hope I do.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
It's a pretty good story though, Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Can you just tell it real quick?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Sure. So my friend Mike, who you guys met a
few weeks ago, best friends since kindergarten. We thought it
would be hilarious to freak people out. So what we
did was we made a dummy. We took old jeans
and T shirt and a jacket, stuffed it with newspapers,
put a little fake mannequin head on top of it,
made it look like a human being, and then we
(02:08):
climbed up to the roof of our middle school gym,
which is about I'm guessing four stories high, climbed up
onto the roof while there was a soccer game going
on down below, and then we yelled out something along
the lines of, oh.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
My god, don't do it, don't do it, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
And then everybody from the soccer game stops and looks
up and sees all this commotion on the roof and
we take the dummy and we throw it.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Made it look like somebody was jumping off the roof
to their death. That's amazing. That's a story I would
have remembered had I heard it. People were screaming, I
saw this woman go. Some dude was jumping off the room.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
See and that to me, Dare I say diabolical?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah, it's pretty mean. Here we go.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I know it was the first time that I word.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
I know you'll say it, but that is a kid.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
If you're using it in the proper context, and that
is proper context, that's appropriate for the situation. It's when
people are on social media and we all know they'll say,
oh my god, eating Jolly Ranchers right after drinking a
coke zero, that's diabolical.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
McDonald's forgot my ketchup packet.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
That's diabolical in the ketchup and mustard, and I think
that's Sammy's point, that's actually yes.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
But this is the same friend who when I was
a kid. Do you guys remember those Halloween masks. They
were essentially clear plastic, but when you put them on,
it totally made you look like a different person.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
So I went trick or treating with him on Halloween
and then we had one of those masks, so I
put on the mask. We went back to my house.
Mike ran rang the doorbell, my mom answered, and he
pretended to be crying. We completely lost Greg. We have
no idea where he is. And my mom started crying,
what what time you saw him? I was hours ago.
(03:57):
I think he got taken into some car. And meanwhile
I'm wearing the mask standing there watching her react, going.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Oh my god.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
You I know fall the stories that Woody shares, and
you share the emotional roller coasters.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
You love to put people off.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
I guess I was an angel when I was a kid.
Stories like that I was.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
We were all about pranking.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
He was influenced into all these things.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Mike was the bad guy.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, Mike was that bad. I had a friend. Did
anybody have a friend that your parents didn't like you
hanging out with.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Oh yeah, not really.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Who is that person?
Speaker 7 (04:29):
This girl Michelle, and we were in like seventh or
eighth grade, and she would say, spend the night at
my house and don't forget to bring you know, a
sleepover bag, and I'd be like okay. And then she
had me meet her at a pool hall and we
stashed our like Duffel bags and she bought me a
body suit and we were like for sure miners and
(04:49):
like flirted with guys at a pool hall almost seventh grade.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, you can't even pull off jo. No, we hung
at it.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
So we said, I'm spending the night to her house.
She said, I'm spending the night at.
Speaker 7 (05:01):
G And your parents eventually went back to her house
and like she she told me about getting fingered by
a guy at the pool hall.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah she was trouble.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
But your parents knew about her, like knew that she
was a bad influence.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, they knew that she wasn't the one.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I had this one friend, man, I must have been
second third grade or whatever, Scott Gordon, and my mom
did not want me hanging around with Scott Gordon because
she was told by the school like, hey, these two
together are bad news. And they kept saying that Scott
was the bad influence on me. Oh, then you know
it's I was complicit. You know, I was totally complicit.
I'm like, oh, that sounds like fun. He's the one.
(05:38):
Scott Gordon was the one who introduced me to garbage
pail kids. Oh, and that wasn't the reason, but like
he had the garbage pail kids, and whatever the dupes
that he had, the duple kids that he would have,
he would give to me, which my mom would find
and then put in the garbage. I have all the
garbage pail kids.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
You the stories that you also share. Seems like you
grew up in a super religious household.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Which did it?
Speaker 4 (06:02):
No?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I didn't. Yeah, anyway, we'll get into the best stories.
We've got some entertainment stuff. We've got the Birthday's Porn
of Birthday that's coming up this hour here on The
Woody Show. Again, if you want to be a part
of anything, phones are open at eight seven seven forty four.
Woody text us over to two to nine eight seven.
This is Weird The Woody Show, and we're into another
(06:24):
new hour here on this Thursday morning. It's a pre Friday.
It's March twenty, twenty twenty five. Woodie, great Menace is
right down, Gina Grete. We got Sea mass oh yeah,
and his girlfriend. A lot of people talking about your
your girlfriend, maybe a few ju just hot future. Yeah,
it's so hot man. He got Sammy Morgan's taking your
(06:48):
calls eight seven seven forty four, Woody, you can send
us a text over to two to nine eight seven.
Today is a story day, and so everybody here in
the studios. But that's Hey, what's your go to story?
It seems like everybody's got one. Like, if you had
to tell, what's your best story, meaning the most interesting,
if it's the only story you can tell to people
from now for the rest of your life with, Like,
(07:09):
what story would you go with? I think for mine
is the one where I was at the boarding school
and they were taking me to a different like they
my parents had hired that dude to take me to
the other to the other intervention program to escort you. Yeah, exactly,
And so uh, this guy picks me up and you
know we're in handcuffs because you know, well I have
(07:31):
one one hand in a handcuff. The other ones to
the inside the door, and that's protocol for what they do.
I was in another one where they had me completely
handcuffed behind my back in the back of a car
for hours on end.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
But let's call it boarding school kid.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, that's crazy. We either wait a
couple of days to get into this intervention program, desert
Survival intervention program. And so we're going to stay at
this hotel in uh in Boise and and we pull
up to the front of the hotel. He runs in
to go check in. Later on that night, we're in
the room just watching team. This guy was very cool
(08:07):
by the way. He's just doing his job. He wasn't
like and he wasn't an a hole or anything. We're
watching TV. He's reading the paper or something like that,
and his bike banging at the door. He's like, what
the please open up. He's like, what the So he
gets up. He starts, well, hold on.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Now.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
One of his other tactics to keep kids from running
off in the middle of the night on him is
he would take those same handcuffs. Somehow he had this
thing that he was able to basically handcuff the door closed.
Speaker 8 (08:37):
Oh my god, And so everything.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, So he goes, hold on, I gotta get the
He didn't get the word handcuff out of his mouth. Handcuff,
and the door came off the hinges.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Boom.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
All these cops come rushing in. I'm just in the
second bed in there, and they come in. They fireman
carried me out of there, take me outside, throw me
in a cob car. We go about a mile down
the road where they had a staging area set up,
and they're like, are you okay? I'm like, what the
hell is going Meanwhile, the guy his name was Ivan,
Ivan Pixie, I'll never forget his name, is big, tall,
huge textan dude, you know. And they have him on
(09:13):
the ground on his stomach, gun to the back of
his you know head, don't you move. I gotten papers
from his parents. I've been hired by his parents to
bring up and that's all I heard is I'm being
shuttled out of the room. Anyway, it turns out that
while he was in checking into the hotel, somebody walking
by saw a kid handcuffed to the inside of the
(09:34):
car and thought kidney.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
They so they called the cops. Cops waited till sundown
and then they they they barred. I guess they had
been keeping an eye on us throughout the day something. Yeah,
we had gone, we had gone and grabbed dinner in
the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Anyway, that's that's my crazy story. That's a pretty crazy story. One.
I had sex with my girlfriend at the school, which
is a big no no, and so they kicked oh no,
and he sent me to this desert survival program to
get you. Yeah, because my parents were gonna We're going
to fly to Oregon from New Jersey to take me
and yeah, so they while so the school says, hey,
(10:12):
we have a recommendation for this service. Who will do this?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
And they go, Okay, your mom really didn't want you.
Speaker 8 (10:22):
There's a second side of the story. We don't get
to hear.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
There was not a second side of the story. That's
how it went. It was a very strict school. If
you ever watched those those documentaries that are I believe
that part of the school.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
I think what he's implying is the reason that you
went to the school and bounced around.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I got bounced around because I got kicked out of
school for having sex with a girlfriend, went to the
desert Survival thing, went back to that same school, had
sex with a different girlfriend, got expelled that time, wasn't
allowed back. So I ended up at the school in Alabama,
and I was and I just hung out there and
I told him, Hey, when I'm eighteen, I can lean,
I can leave. They can't keep they can't keep me
there anymore. And so my parents, well, my mom, I'm
(11:00):
seeing the end of the end of the road there.
I said, okay, fine, you can go live with your dad.
I went and lived with my grandfather actually in Pittsburgh,
graduated high school, started radio within what about a month
after getting there, and I've been in radio ever since.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
And there we go.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
That's the end of the story. That's literally how it went.
That's insane, Yeah, because these schools are crazy strict.
Speaker 7 (11:19):
And I thought you were going to say one of
his tactics from keeping kids from running is like, so
I take all their clothes so they.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
You're like me, kids would run the naked. They would
totally do that. Gina, what you go to your story?
Speaker 7 (11:30):
Well, this is probably ten years ago. I had a girlfriend,
a friend in high school that I hadn't talked to
in years, but we're really close. In high school, she
called me out of the blue and asked me to
be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and I was like, yeah, sure, okay.
So I flew back to Kansas, and the morning of
the wedding, we had to get there early because they're
doing like the bridal pictures whatever. And I had this
very delicate bridesmaid dress like taffia and lace whatever. Late
(11:52):
in the back of my mom's car because I was
driving myself, shout out, Toyota Corolla. I'm driving on the
highway and there's this girl who's like my age, driving
very erratically next to me. For whatever reason, she kind
of jerks into me, and I jerk away. I hit
the median, going like sixty sixty five miles an hour,
flip the car, and while it's flipping, I feel very
(12:13):
like calm and quiet, and it feels like it's happening
in slow motion. And the car just you know, flips
back to, you know, being on it on its proper side.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
This is how you know it's Kansas.
Speaker 7 (12:23):
Everybody on the highway stops where they are, runs out
of their car and tries to check on me. So
they all come. The ambulance comes. I remember saying to
the medic. Two things, I don't have insurance and you're
really hot. That's all I remember saying. They took me
to the hospital. I see doctors leaning over me. I
do not have a scratch on me, No cuts.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
No bruises, no nothing. And this is air.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Airbags are sport. Everything deployed. Get back to my mom's house.
She goes to retrieve her car, which looks like a
Godzilla stepped on it.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
It's crush, it's done.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
The only thing that is perfect mint condition is.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
This g D dress.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
So she brings the dress back. I'm shaken up and
I'm sore, but I feel pretty good. So I demand
to be driven to the wedding with the dress and
use my mom's makeup in her shoes, and I walked
down I'm there for my friend, kind of stole.
Speaker 8 (13:14):
The show and felt a little band because I was
a big hero.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Was this the day before or the day of the
day up?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Oh my god.
Speaker 7 (13:19):
A few hours later, I was like, I actually am fine.
I'm a little sore, not up cut, not us scrape.
And I remember just feeling like it was all happening
in slow motion and I was going to be totally fine.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
It was crazy Wow, Yeah, damn, we are lucky to
have you.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Go.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
She'll be there like she's like the postal service dedication.
She'll get their car accident. Yeah, Greggory, what's your go
to stories?
Speaker 3 (13:43):
This is tough for me because I've told you guys
about the sex tape, the food getting spilled on the airplane,
the food poisonings.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
On the Does to be something heard?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I think the go to one. I don't think Gena's heard.
It has got to be the layers of my Marquy
Mark obsession because it's just so embarrassing in retrospect. But
when I was in college, so just mega in the
closet and I found out that Markie Mark was going
to be in Playgirl.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
So I had to get it right. So I had
to rehearse as a closeted man, still sure.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
How I was going to buy this at this local
pharmacy drug store thing, act like I didn't know what
playgirl was. This was after a week of rehearsing, seeing
who's working, what time, when is it stake out, when
is it the slowest at the store, And then I
said I needed to buy a Playboy and something called
play Girl because I had to buy both, and then
(14:38):
I started, Okay, now I have the magazine in my possession,
I can't just go back to my dorm because my
roommates are going to see me, So I have to
come up with a story. My story was I had
to do a term paper comparing and contrasting Playboy with Playgirl. Wow,
So I had to actually write this fake term paper
because I had to keep it real. I think the
(15:02):
great lengths I go to get this stupid thing, and
then the whole bad punchline of it was I finally
get like a minute alone flip through the damn magazine.
He's not even naked, and this is for nothing. He
wrote the paper and paper I rehearsed going to the
store was working.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Don't we have an animated I believe it did immediately.
It's on our YouTube page YouTube dot com. What did
your paper is?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Uncover?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Greg?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
I think I was paragraph theme, Yeah, you know what,
I might even have it somewhere. Yeah, I got to
try to find it.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
You write it legit, thinking well, just in case somebody
actually reads.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Oh yeah, a hundred percent. I think I was saying
how great Playboy was because they had like a joke section,
they had stories they had good articles, and then play
Girl was just cheesy.
Speaker 8 (15:55):
And women way too hot.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Today's story day, what is your best? Go to your story?
If you can only tell one story about you involving you,
what would it be?
Speaker 9 (16:07):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
All right to tell his story? Day one of the
eight billion made up stupid holidays. But I told my story,
Gina told hers, Greg told his. His is actually an
animated podcast met as if you want to put a
link or put a link to it somewhere like onlating
our Instagram story. It was from a while ago. You
guys say, it's so funny.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
That's one of my favorite stories.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Great from anybody ever to share it.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
It's sothetic.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
It's a length that you went to. Yeah, menace, what's
your best story? Oh?
Speaker 5 (16:40):
So, actually, Woody, you and I were kind of talking
about it the other day, so, but I didn't share
the full story. We're talking about it with some of
our coworkers. So in two thousand and nine, it was
Saint Patrick's Day and myself and another coworker, Tony, who
was on the show the time, we were broadcasting from
(17:02):
a bar in the morning, and yeah, I remember that,
and Tony got so hammered don't.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Go ahead, don't jump ahead all.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
So we're we're all getting super hammered, right, and we're
calling back into the radio station. And I was drunk tweeting,
and I drunk tweeted Jimmy Fallon to call into the
show because that week he started the late night show
with Jimmy Fallon, was before the tonight show, and he
decided to call in. So he actually called into the
(17:32):
show and we talked to him for like an hour,
and I don't even remember talking to him because I'm
so wasted. But that was super fun. Now, the part
that I left out of the story that I just
recently shared with our coworkers is after the show that day,
I was friends with all the like suicide girls at
the time that we're living in San Francisco, like those
(17:55):
nude models whatever girls, and they were messaging me after
the show that day like, oh, our photo shoot got
messed up whatever, blah blah. I said, Oh, just come
over to my place. You guys can use my place,
right And at the time, I'm living with two other females,
and all these girls come over and they get completely
naked and they're like doing a photo shoot in and
(18:19):
myself in my roommates. We're just getting drunk and laughing
and listening to music while all these girls are naked,
and after done shooting, they're like, oh, let's go on
a hike.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
So everyone thought it was a great idea.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
Again, we're freaking hammered to go hiking right by the
Golden gate Bridge. So we're in like the woods of
the Golden gate Bridge and I'm like blacking out drunk
and next thing I know, I'm just like kind of
eating sushi and doing sake bombs right amazingly. I wake
up to go to work the next day. Now here's
(18:55):
the other part of that story. Remember when I was
with Tony, he gets hammered. Apparently he went back to
the radio station and he turned on all of our
cameras that were in the studio at the time, we
did live streams. Forgot to turn off the cameras. So
when I get to work the next day, we're looking
at all the text messages. Hey, look at your guys' cameras,
(19:16):
because it archived all the cameras clipped it for you.
Look at the at the cameras. So I look, and
what do I find on the cameras? One of our
coworkers Joeing on camera. It's like one of the wildest
days because you know, we have video of our coworker Joeing.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah, and he impregnated the studio trash can and he
blew it right into the trash car by the way,
and this was like, now we have our own studio.
Nobody uses this studio. Besides off, this is our own studio. However,
at that time it was the same studio that everybody used,
and so he had his like his hands on the
on the mouse and all the controls and all this stuff.
And not to mention now, like the the trash can,
(20:00):
I was gonna give Berts a little baby tampons.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
And he was playing with his nipple.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Oh yeah, he was tweaking his nipple and yeah, you
saw the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
It's like, yeah, it was very weird. He also got
Tony on video falling out of his chair.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
Yeah, that was pretty fun.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
But that was like the super highlight of it.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
It was even worse is like I was so hungover
that I I didn't even leave my.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Office that day.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
So then I had to see that guy who was
Joeing later that day walking walking through the boss's office
to like, you.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Get let go.
Speaker 8 (20:33):
Why did he do something wrong?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
I don't know. Here's the thing, like somebody had texted,
people were texting, the people called. Of course we're talking
about now we're watching the video while we're on the air. Yeah,
And I guess everybody worried about that. I mean, if
it wasn't public, I would have been like, dude, you know,
but there's the thing. You're in the studio where everybody
used that we were discussing. It was out there. It
was out there, somebody in our studio with a pipe
(20:57):
in the ass putting a beer up there.
Speaker 6 (20:59):
Yeah, of course, but that was clean, fun content in
the privacy of her studio.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, yeah, SeaBASS. What's your best story?
Speaker 9 (21:07):
Well, you guys have been witnessed to it. It unfolded
here on the air with the whole uh finding out
I have kids. That's that's the one story I tell
that people. I people always ask tell me more, tell
me more, tell me more. And for folks who are new,
I donated so generously the stuff that went into the
trash can a minute ago to sold to needy and
(21:28):
wanting chill up families out there who wanted to.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Conceive, and that was his way of making money when
he was in college and afterwards in radio, and afterwards
it kind of radio doesn't pay anything. So that's and
I kind of forgot about it.
Speaker 9 (21:40):
But in the time that I forgot about it, and
in the time that I've worked for this show the
whole twenty three and me ancestry dot Com him about
and so therefore what should have been an anonymous donation
for at least eighteen years turned into a very public donation,
to the point that I've now met several of those children.
And so that's why the story goes off in a
thousand different directions about how I got it, how I
(22:02):
found out about it, how my mom found out about
it and told me about.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
It, but she had no idea. So now she's got
like a Facebook page, right, Well, they do, they do.
There's kind of dedicated to the children.
Speaker 8 (22:12):
Oh speaking which yes, I talked to her earlier this week.
Speaker 9 (22:14):
She's she's planning a trip to go visit some of
them in at Quebec.
Speaker 8 (22:18):
Your mom is, yes.
Speaker 7 (22:20):
So she refers to some of these kids as her grandkids.
Speaker 8 (22:23):
She calls them the genetic grandkids. I forget what there's there's.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
A it's a modern term for it.
Speaker 8 (22:28):
Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Term like you.
Speaker 9 (22:30):
You don't say kids or grandkids, is like genetic or
like my genetic half brother or my or biological.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
To how many twenty three plus twenty three twenty three
and me? Yeah, let's let's pitch the reality show.
Speaker 9 (22:42):
See I people have asked about that, and the problem is, like,
I think you need me to be a a likable,
carrying character. Not that I don't care about these children.
I do, but I'm not like you've traveled to see them. Absolutely,
but I'm not like a wonderful sports games. You need
for this to be interesting. You need this to be
like connected, like.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Oh my god, I just never you can fake we.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
See me do it a little time exactly.
Speaker 8 (23:05):
See, that's not the kind of faure that I find interesting.
Speaker 7 (23:07):
I gotta say that is one of the most self
aware things I've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Exactly.
Speaker 9 (23:11):
You need like a that's not me, You need a
forest gumps to help, right, Well, I guess, oh twenty
three meters on the spectrum or something. So far, they
seem to be pretty normal because the ones I met,
at least are just average.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Joe's and Jill just call the show my Daddy's got Aspergers. Yeah,
how about that.
Speaker 9 (23:30):
That's that's easily the most interesting thing that I ever
told just donate and I have kids.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I mean I thought one of the first when I
first met Sea Bass and heard these stories of like,
I thought one of the best stories was just the
fact that instead of doing other things for money, uh,
you know in college, like some people get like a
college job part time job, you just go down to
the sperm bank cranking out dump one off there and
they pay them. And then wasn't it that you found
out or somebody told you or somehow Uh hey, well
(23:56):
you know if you test into MENSA, they'll give you
more if you test over a certain It wasn't.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
I wasn't.
Speaker 9 (24:00):
So there was if you get more if you allow
them to find you later. But again that was supposed
to be when they turn eighteen. I thought it more
for like genius es.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, did you have to genius juice?
Speaker 9 (24:08):
That's that's one of the things that gets you through
the door, like, because every every Joe out there wants
to be I get paid for that.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, do that anyway?
Speaker 9 (24:17):
Yeah, sixty sixty five bucks for anonymous one hundred dollars
for and that's what this was, you know, before inflation,
one hundred dollars for full Uh yeah, Sammy, what's your
best story?
Speaker 6 (24:27):
When I was in first grade, I it was somebody's
birthday and I really wanted one of the cupcakes. Someone
had brought in cupcakes for their birthday, and they were waiting,
and I though I had to go to the bathroom,
and I didn't want to ask to go to the
bathroom because I thought I wasn't going to get a
cupcake if I went to the bathroom. And it was
the fun, fatty the good ones, like something like homemade.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Sometimes people brought them.
Speaker 6 (24:49):
In and you were like, yeah, yuck. And so I
was the whole time because I was because I was,
for some reason convinced that right when I went to
the bathroom was and they were going to hand out
the cupcakes and I wasn't gonna get one and.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
There wasn't gonna be enough.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
So I stayed in class when I had to go
to the bathroom, and I pooped my pants. And so
now I'm sitting there in class and I had pooed
my pant and our desks were like in fours, right,
So you have someone next to you and two people
across from you kind of is how we were all situated.
And it starts to smell, and now all the kids
(25:25):
are like, do you smell them?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Who farted?
Speaker 6 (25:27):
Okay, so at least my brain's like, oh, what a relief.
They think someone farted. They're not even jumping to who
pooped their pants? And so everyone's talking about it, and
then it's story time and everybody has to get up.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
To go sit on you know, the carpet or whatever.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
And I know that I cannot get up, so I
sat in my seat and my best I call my
best friend over and I was like, go get the teacher.
So the teacher came over and I told her that
I pooed my pants. So she just sent me out
the door signer Who's office? And I just, like, you know,
tried to scoot out the door while everyone was doing
storytime and the nurse. This was a Thursday, which my
(26:02):
dad had thursdays off, so this was not his realm,
but my mom would go run errand so the school
calls my house and it's my dad and the nurse
is like, hey, Sammy had an accident. Can you come
pick her up? Pants, because I think it was kind
of closer to the end of the day.
Speaker 9 (26:19):
There was a real mess purposes together get.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
So my dad comes to pick me up and he's like,
all right, let's go, and we're walking out to the
car and then he looks at me and goes, Jesus Christ,
you pooped your pants.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I thought you just peede.
Speaker 6 (26:40):
And he was like, you're not sitting in the seat.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
In my car.
Speaker 6 (26:45):
So when I got in the car, I was in
the passengers No, I was in the on the passenger side,
front seat, like yeah, he pushed the whole seat back
and I had to squat the whole wayking in the
passenger seat of the car.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Well, he drove me.
Speaker 7 (27:03):
Home and the windows down and no cupcake and no copcake.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
That's the that's the biggest tragedy. And did the kids
figure out at school that you crapped your pants?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
But nobody said anything.
Speaker 6 (27:18):
His friend was the best, Like she like she knew
everything and she kept her mouth shut. Oh wow, she
would have defended me if anyone said anything.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yeah, she was great.
Speaker 7 (27:26):
It's like freshman year in high school, you weren't still
called like Sammy poopy pants.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
Well, I had moved by them, But no, I was
never called poopy pants at all. Yeah, you locked out
the next day or anything.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
I remember first grade, some girl crapped in like the hallway,
and like people still talked about it eighteen years later.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Oh dude, there's a there was a kid at one
of my kids schools that just got busted joeing in
the bathroom. Oh, and everybody knows about it. Yeah, it's over.
Speaker 8 (27:50):
Yeah, do that during school.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Yeah, I forget he's got a nickname. I forget what
it is. My son told me. But yeah, he's already
been he's already been renamed. Like, can you imagine he
changed schools? Man, it's over identity. Yeah, you're gross animal. Yeah,
well there we go. Those are our best stories, guys.
I don't know why you listen to show anymore. That's
(28:13):
it does get any better than that. Yeah, story day there,
that's how it works. We got we got people calling
in here. Do you want to take one of the
calls down? All right, all right, this is uh Lenny,
what's up? Lenny?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Lenny?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Hey, here's this it's the Woodie Shows.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
Yeah, I got crazy, right, I'm just making sure. Sorry
I wasn't expecting it so quickly. But yeah, I got
a doozy of a story. Okay, So I'm gonna try
to There's so much to unpack here, but I'll try
to do as fast as humanly.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Poppers, you got too many?
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Okay. So I was married for ten years to a woman,
got divorced, but I found out she was cheating on
me with the best man at my wedding. This was
culminates and them having a relationship, a rather toxic one,
where by whereas she gets a restraining order against him,
and then it culminates in him burning her house down.
(29:07):
I miss out and she's really cryptic, so she asked
me to come over to her house. So I don't
know this At this point, I don't know it. So
I drive up and as I'm driving up, there's a
cop car in front of me, so that pulls over
by her house and then I pull up in her
driveway and I looked at her. I'm like, hey, is
that for me? Like, because she has a restraining order
against me? She goes, oh god, no, I don't even
(29:28):
notice the yellow tape around her house because the front
part of her house wasn't really burnt that much. But
we get in my car to talk about what we're
going to do with the kids, YadA, YadA, YadA. All
of a sudden, the cop comes up to my car,
knocks on my on my window and says, can you
can you get out of the car? I said, uh, yeah,
I get out. Do you have an ID? I give
him the ID and he cups me and I go,
(29:48):
what are you doing? He goes, she has a restraining
order against you. I go, yeah, but her house burned down.
She goes, I don't care, so I get processed. Oh
my god, So yeah, that's my crazy, Like it's insanely crazy.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
And how long? I'm assuming they released you pretty quickly though,
after they understood the circumstance or no.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
What the funniest thing was, I had to They let
me go that day. But then the guy said there
might be a warrant out on you, and I said, okay,
sure enough. My ex wife calls and says, yep, there's
a warrant. So I had to surrender to the jail.
I go there. You cannot believe the people that are
in there. And what's funny is I only have one
(30:28):
hundred dollars bail. Right, I'm going to be processing and
just let go. I'm the most miserable person there. Everybody
else is like happy.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
That's crazy.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Were this one guy? This one this one black guy
walks up to me and goes, hey, man, you've got
the vape. I go, no, I don't, he goes, I go,
what are you in here for? He goes, oh, man,
Steve w B. What's Steve w B? While black?
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Yeah, and I'm so but everybody there is happy. It's
like that's their playground or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Like I'm miserable, that's the clubhouse. Thank you for sharing
your story. Appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
Yeah, no, pub I love you guys, We.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Love you all right. Thanks Lendy, Bye bye
Class is now in session. A good morning everybody, good
good morning, good morning, and a glorious free Friday. It's
a Thursday morning to you. It is the Woody Show.
It is March the twentieth, twenty twenty five. Hello, welcome,
(00:27):
we are the Woody Show. I'm Woody. That's great. Gory, Hello, Menace,
good morning to you. Good morning, Woody. Gina Grant's right there.
We got Sammy. Hello, we got Sea Mass, I see
Bort and Andrew. Woody Show Production department. Our associate producer.
She's taking to call us. Her name is Morgan. We
got Von our video producer. Phones are open at eight
seven seven forty four, Woody. You can send us a
(00:48):
text over to to nine eight seven. Today is a
story day. Apparently Sammy was telling us about that, and
everybody's got like kind of not not their go to
story thiscessarily, but what they think is like their most
interesting or their best.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh yeah, sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
So I'm gonna go around the room and I'm gonna
see what everybody's best story. All right now, I'm sure
we all heard.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We probably heard, because we've.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Been working the show for god two decades almost.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
I know.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I wonder if there's anything you guys don't know, but
we don't know about each other.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I feel like I feel like I didn't know that
story that Sammy referenced. Maybe I wasn't here that day,
because I think I would have remembered that, like Greg
prankin with his friend.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Oh yeah, but that was like not on the air, right, No,
I think I've told it.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Like, I'm surprised I have, even on or off the
I'm surprised I hadn't heard it.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Okay, maybe I'll tell it today.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, Okay, you have a better story than that, right
I would.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
I would hope I do.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
It's a pretty good story though, Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Can you just tell it real quick?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Sure. So my friend Mike, who you guys met a
few weeks ago, best friends since kindergarten. We thought it
would be hilarious to freak people out. So what we
did was we made a dummy. We took old jeans
and T shirt and a jacket, stuffed it with newspapers,
put a little fake mannequin head on top of it,
made it look like a human being, and then we
(02:08):
climbed up to the roof of our middle school gym,
which is about I'm guessing four stories high, climbed up
onto the roof while there was a soccer game going
on down below, and then we yelled out something along
the lines of, oh.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
My god, don't do it, don't do it, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
And then everybody from the soccer game stops and looks
up and sees all this commotion on the roof and
we take the dummy and we throw it.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Made it look like somebody was jumping off the roof
to their death. That's amazing. That's a story I would
have remembered had I heard it. People were screaming, I
saw this woman go. Some dude was jumping off the room.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
See and that to me, Dare I say diabolical?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah, it's pretty mean. Here we go.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I know it was the first time that I word.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
I know you'll say it, but that is a kid.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
If you're using it in the proper context, and that
is proper context, that's appropriate for the situation. It's when
people are on social media and we all know they'll say,
oh my god, eating Jolly Ranchers right after drinking a
coke zero, that's diabolical.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
McDonald's forgot my ketchup packet.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
That's diabolical in the ketchup and mustard, and I think
that's Sammy's point, that's actually yes.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
But this is the same friend who when I was
a kid. Do you guys remember those Halloween masks. They
were essentially clear plastic, but when you put them on,
it totally made you look like a different person.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
So I went trick or treating with him on Halloween
and then we had one of those masks, so I
put on the mask. We went back to my house.
Mike ran rang the doorbell, my mom answered, and he
pretended to be crying. We completely lost Greg. We have
no idea where he is. And my mom started crying,
what what time you saw him? I was hours ago.
(03:57):
I think he got taken into some car. And meanwhile
I'm wearing the mask standing there watching her react, going.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Oh my god.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
You I know fall the stories that Woody shares, and
you share the emotional roller coasters.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
You love to put people off.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
I guess I was an angel when I was a kid.
Stories like that I was.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
We were all about pranking.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
He was influenced into all these things.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Mike was the bad guy.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, Mike was that bad. I had a friend. Did
anybody have a friend that your parents didn't like you
hanging out with.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Oh yeah, not really.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Who is that person?
Speaker 7 (04:29):
This girl Michelle, and we were in like seventh or
eighth grade, and she would say, spend the night at
my house and don't forget to bring you know, a
sleepover bag, and I'd be like okay. And then she
had me meet her at a pool hall and we
stashed our like Duffel bags and she bought me a
body suit and we were like for sure miners and
(04:49):
like flirted with guys at a pool hall almost seventh grade.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, you can't even pull off jo. No, we hung
at it.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
So we said, I'm spending the night to her house.
She said, I'm spending the night at.
Speaker 7 (05:01):
G And your parents eventually went back to her house
and like she she told me about getting fingered by
a guy at the pool hall.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah she was trouble.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
But your parents knew about her, like knew that she
was a bad influence.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, they knew that she wasn't the one.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I had this one friend, man, I must have been
second third grade or whatever, Scott Gordon, and my mom
did not want me hanging around with Scott Gordon because
she was told by the school like, hey, these two
together are bad news. And they kept saying that Scott
was the bad influence on me. Oh, then you know
it's I was complicit. You know, I was totally complicit.
I'm like, oh, that sounds like fun. He's the one.
(05:38):
Scott Gordon was the one who introduced me to garbage
pail kids. Oh, and that wasn't the reason, but like
he had the garbage pail kids, and whatever the dupes
that he had, the duple kids that he would have,
he would give to me, which my mom would find
and then put in the garbage. I have all the
garbage pail kids.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
You the stories that you also share. Seems like you
grew up in a super religious household.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Which did it?
Speaker 4 (06:02):
No?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I didn't. Yeah, anyway, we'll get into the best stories.
We've got some entertainment stuff. We've got the Birthday's Porn
of Birthday that's coming up this hour here on The
Woody Show. Again, if you want to be a part
of anything, phones are open at eight seven seven forty four.
Woody text us over to two to nine eight seven.
This is Weird The Woody Show, and we're into another
(06:24):
new hour here on this Thursday morning. It's a pre Friday.
It's March twenty, twenty twenty five. Woodie, great Menace is
right down, Gina Grete. We got Sea mass oh yeah,
and his girlfriend. A lot of people talking about your
your girlfriend, maybe a few ju just hot future. Yeah,
it's so hot man. He got Sammy Morgan's taking your
(06:48):
calls eight seven seven forty four, Woody, you can send
us a text over to two to nine eight seven.
Today is a story day, and so everybody here in
the studios. But that's Hey, what's your go to story?
It seems like everybody's got one. Like, if you had
to tell, what's your best story, meaning the most interesting,
if it's the only story you can tell to people
from now for the rest of your life with, Like,
(07:09):
what story would you go with? I think for mine
is the one where I was at the boarding school
and they were taking me to a different like they
my parents had hired that dude to take me to
the other to the other intervention program to escort you. Yeah, exactly,
And so uh, this guy picks me up and you
know we're in handcuffs because you know, well I have
(07:31):
one one hand in a handcuff. The other ones to
the inside the door, and that's protocol for what they do.
I was in another one where they had me completely
handcuffed behind my back in the back of a car
for hours on end.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
But let's call it boarding school kid.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, that's crazy. We either wait a
couple of days to get into this intervention program, desert
Survival intervention program. And so we're going to stay at
this hotel in uh in Boise and and we pull
up to the front of the hotel. He runs in
to go check in. Later on that night, we're in
the room just watching team. This guy was very cool
(08:07):
by the way. He's just doing his job. He wasn't
like and he wasn't an a hole or anything. We're
watching TV. He's reading the paper or something like that,
and his bike banging at the door. He's like, what
the please open up. He's like, what the So he
gets up. He starts, well, hold on.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Now.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
One of his other tactics to keep kids from running
off in the middle of the night on him is
he would take those same handcuffs. Somehow he had this
thing that he was able to basically handcuff the door closed.
Speaker 8 (08:37):
Oh my god, And so everything.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, So he goes, hold on, I gotta get the
He didn't get the word handcuff out of his mouth. Handcuff,
and the door came off the hinges.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Boom.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
All these cops come rushing in. I'm just in the
second bed in there, and they come in. They fireman
carried me out of there, take me outside, throw me
in a cob car. We go about a mile down
the road where they had a staging area set up,
and they're like, are you okay? I'm like, what the
hell is going Meanwhile, the guy his name was Ivan,
Ivan Pixie, I'll never forget his name, is big, tall,
huge textan dude, you know. And they have him on
(09:13):
the ground on his stomach, gun to the back of
his you know head, don't you move. I gotten papers
from his parents. I've been hired by his parents to
bring up and that's all I heard is I'm being
shuttled out of the room. Anyway, it turns out that
while he was in checking into the hotel, somebody walking
by saw a kid handcuffed to the inside of the
(09:34):
car and thought kidney.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
They so they called the cops. Cops waited till sundown
and then they they they barred. I guess they had
been keeping an eye on us throughout the day something. Yeah,
we had gone, we had gone and grabbed dinner in
the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Anyway, that's that's my crazy story. That's a pretty crazy story. One.
I had sex with my girlfriend at the school, which
is a big no no, and so they kicked oh no,
and he sent me to this desert survival program to
get you. Yeah, because my parents were gonna We're going
to fly to Oregon from New Jersey to take me
and yeah, so they while so the school says, hey,
(10:12):
we have a recommendation for this service. Who will do this?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
And they go, Okay, your mom really didn't want you.
Speaker 8 (10:22):
There's a second side of the story. We don't get
to hear.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
There was not a second side of the story. That's
how it went. It was a very strict school. If
you ever watched those those documentaries that are I believe
that part of the school.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
I think what he's implying is the reason that you
went to the school and bounced around.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I got bounced around because I got kicked out of
school for having sex with a girlfriend, went to the
desert Survival thing, went back to that same school, had
sex with a different girlfriend, got expelled that time, wasn't
allowed back. So I ended up at the school in Alabama,
and I was and I just hung out there and
I told him, Hey, when I'm eighteen, I can lean,
I can leave. They can't keep they can't keep me
there anymore. And so my parents, well, my mom, I'm
(11:00):
seeing the end of the end of the road there.
I said, okay, fine, you can go live with your dad.
I went and lived with my grandfather actually in Pittsburgh,
graduated high school, started radio within what about a month
after getting there, and I've been in radio ever since.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
And there we go.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
That's the end of the story. That's literally how it went.
That's insane, Yeah, because these schools are crazy strict.
Speaker 7 (11:19):
And I thought you were going to say one of
his tactics from keeping kids from running is like, so
I take all their clothes so they.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
You're like me, kids would run the naked. They would
totally do that. Gina, what you go to your story?
Speaker 7 (11:30):
Well, this is probably ten years ago. I had a girlfriend,
a friend in high school that I hadn't talked to
in years, but we're really close. In high school, she
called me out of the blue and asked me to
be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and I was like, yeah, sure, okay.
So I flew back to Kansas, and the morning of
the wedding, we had to get there early because they're
doing like the bridal pictures whatever. And I had this
very delicate bridesmaid dress like taffia and lace whatever. Late
(11:52):
in the back of my mom's car because I was
driving myself, shout out, Toyota Corolla. I'm driving on the
highway and there's this girl who's like my age, driving
very erratically next to me. For whatever reason, she kind
of jerks into me, and I jerk away. I hit
the median, going like sixty sixty five miles an hour,
flip the car, and while it's flipping, I feel very
(12:13):
like calm and quiet, and it feels like it's happening
in slow motion. And the car just you know, flips
back to, you know, being on it on its proper side.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
This is how you know it's Kansas.
Speaker 7 (12:23):
Everybody on the highway stops where they are, runs out
of their car and tries to check on me. So
they all come. The ambulance comes. I remember saying to
the medic. Two things, I don't have insurance and you're
really hot. That's all I remember saying. They took me
to the hospital. I see doctors leaning over me. I
do not have a scratch on me, No cuts.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
No bruises, no nothing. And this is air.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Airbags are sport. Everything deployed. Get back to my mom's house.
She goes to retrieve her car, which looks like a
Godzilla stepped on it.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
It's crush, it's done.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
The only thing that is perfect mint condition is.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
This g D dress.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
So she brings the dress back. I'm shaken up and
I'm sore, but I feel pretty good. So I demand
to be driven to the wedding with the dress and
use my mom's makeup in her shoes, and I walked
down I'm there for my friend, kind of stole.
Speaker 8 (13:14):
The show and felt a little band because I was
a big hero.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Was this the day before or the day of the
day up?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Oh my god.
Speaker 7 (13:19):
A few hours later, I was like, I actually am fine.
I'm a little sore, not up cut, not us scrape.
And I remember just feeling like it was all happening
in slow motion and I was going to be totally fine.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
It was crazy Wow, Yeah, damn, we are lucky to
have you.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Go.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
She'll be there like she's like the postal service dedication.
She'll get their car accident. Yeah, Greggory, what's your go
to stories?
Speaker 3 (13:43):
This is tough for me because I've told you guys
about the sex tape, the food getting spilled on the airplane,
the food poisonings.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
On the Does to be something heard?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I think the go to one. I don't think Gena's heard.
It has got to be the layers of my Marquy
Mark obsession because it's just so embarrassing in retrospect. But
when I was in college, so just mega in the
closet and I found out that Markie Mark was going
to be in Playgirl.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
So I had to get it right. So I had
to rehearse as a closeted man, still sure.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
How I was going to buy this at this local
pharmacy drug store thing, act like I didn't know what
playgirl was. This was after a week of rehearsing, seeing
who's working, what time, when is it stake out, when
is it the slowest at the store, And then I
said I needed to buy a Playboy and something called
play Girl because I had to buy both, and then
(14:38):
I started, Okay, now I have the magazine in my possession,
I can't just go back to my dorm because my
roommates are going to see me, So I have to
come up with a story. My story was I had
to do a term paper comparing and contrasting Playboy with Playgirl. Wow,
So I had to actually write this fake term paper
because I had to keep it real. I think the
(15:02):
great lengths I go to get this stupid thing, and
then the whole bad punchline of it was I finally
get like a minute alone flip through the damn magazine.
He's not even naked, and this is for nothing. He
wrote the paper and paper I rehearsed going to the
store was working.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Don't we have an animated I believe it did immediately.
It's on our YouTube page YouTube dot com. What did
your paper is?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Uncover?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Greg?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
I think I was paragraph theme, Yeah, you know what,
I might even have it somewhere. Yeah, I got to
try to find it.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
You write it legit, thinking well, just in case somebody
actually reads.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Oh yeah, a hundred percent. I think I was saying
how great Playboy was because they had like a joke section,
they had stories they had good articles, and then play
Girl was just cheesy.
Speaker 8 (15:55):
And women way too hot.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Today's story day, what is your best? Go to your story?
If you can only tell one story about you involving you,
what would it be?
Speaker 9 (16:07):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
All right to tell his story? Day one of the
eight billion made up stupid holidays. But I told my story,
Gina told hers, Greg told his. His is actually an
animated podcast met as if you want to put a
link or put a link to it somewhere like onlating
our Instagram story. It was from a while ago. You
guys say, it's so funny.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
That's one of my favorite stories.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Great from anybody ever to share it.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
It's sothetic.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
It's a length that you went to. Yeah, menace, what's
your best story? Oh?
Speaker 5 (16:40):
So, actually, Woody, you and I were kind of talking
about it the other day, so, but I didn't share
the full story. We're talking about it with some of
our coworkers. So in two thousand and nine, it was
Saint Patrick's Day and myself and another coworker, Tony, who
was on the show the time, we were broadcasting from
(17:02):
a bar in the morning, and yeah, I remember that,
and Tony got so hammered don't.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Go ahead, don't jump ahead all.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
So we're we're all getting super hammered, right, and we're
calling back into the radio station. And I was drunk tweeting,
and I drunk tweeted Jimmy Fallon to call into the
show because that week he started the late night show
with Jimmy Fallon, was before the tonight show, and he
decided to call in. So he actually called into the
(17:32):
show and we talked to him for like an hour,
and I don't even remember talking to him because I'm
so wasted. But that was super fun. Now, the part
that I left out of the story that I just
recently shared with our coworkers is after the show that day,
I was friends with all the like suicide girls at
the time that we're living in San Francisco, like those
(17:55):
nude models whatever girls, and they were messaging me after
the show that day like, oh, our photo shoot got
messed up whatever, blah blah. I said, Oh, just come
over to my place. You guys can use my place,
right And at the time, I'm living with two other females,
and all these girls come over and they get completely
naked and they're like doing a photo shoot in and
(18:19):
myself in my roommates. We're just getting drunk and laughing
and listening to music while all these girls are naked,
and after done shooting, they're like, oh, let's go on
a hike.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
So everyone thought it was a great idea.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
Again, we're freaking hammered to go hiking right by the
Golden gate Bridge. So we're in like the woods of
the Golden gate Bridge and I'm like blacking out drunk
and next thing I know, I'm just like kind of
eating sushi and doing sake bombs right amazingly. I wake
up to go to work the next day. Now here's
(18:55):
the other part of that story. Remember when I was
with Tony, he gets hammered. Apparently he went back to
the radio station and he turned on all of our
cameras that were in the studio at the time, we
did live streams. Forgot to turn off the cameras. So
when I get to work the next day, we're looking
at all the text messages. Hey, look at your guys' cameras,
(19:16):
because it archived all the cameras clipped it for you.
Look at the at the cameras. So I look, and
what do I find on the cameras? One of our
coworkers Joeing on camera. It's like one of the wildest
days because you know, we have video of our coworker Joeing.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah, and he impregnated the studio trash can and he
blew it right into the trash car by the way,
and this was like, now we have our own studio.
Nobody uses this studio. Besides off, this is our own studio. However,
at that time it was the same studio that everybody used,
and so he had his like his hands on the
on the mouse and all the controls and all this stuff.
And not to mention now, like the the trash can,
(20:00):
I was gonna give Berts a little baby tampons.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
And he was playing with his nipple.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Oh yeah, he was tweaking his nipple and yeah, you
saw the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
It's like, yeah, it was very weird. He also got
Tony on video falling out of his chair.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
Yeah, that was pretty fun.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
But that was like the super highlight of it.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
It was even worse is like I was so hungover
that I I didn't even leave my.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Office that day.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
So then I had to see that guy who was
Joeing later that day walking walking through the boss's office
to like, you.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Get let go.
Speaker 8 (20:33):
Why did he do something wrong?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
I don't know. Here's the thing, like somebody had texted,
people were texting, the people called. Of course we're talking
about now we're watching the video while we're on the air. Yeah,
And I guess everybody worried about that. I mean, if
it wasn't public, I would have been like, dude, you know,
but there's the thing. You're in the studio where everybody
used that we were discussing. It was out there. It
was out there, somebody in our studio with a pipe
(20:57):
in the ass putting a beer up there.
Speaker 6 (20:59):
Yeah, of course, but that was clean, fun content in
the privacy of her studio.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, yeah, SeaBASS. What's your best story?
Speaker 9 (21:07):
Well, you guys have been witnessed to it. It unfolded
here on the air with the whole uh finding out
I have kids. That's that's the one story I tell
that people. I people always ask tell me more, tell
me more, tell me more. And for folks who are new,
I donated so generously the stuff that went into the
trash can a minute ago to sold to needy and
(21:28):
wanting chill up families out there who wanted to.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Conceive, and that was his way of making money when
he was in college and afterwards in radio, and afterwards
it kind of radio doesn't pay anything. So that's and
I kind of forgot about it.
Speaker 9 (21:40):
But in the time that I forgot about it, and
in the time that I've worked for this show the
whole twenty three and me ancestry dot Com him about
and so therefore what should have been an anonymous donation
for at least eighteen years turned into a very public donation,
to the point that I've now met several of those children.
And so that's why the story goes off in a
thousand different directions about how I got it, how I
(22:02):
found out about it, how my mom found out about
it and told me about.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
It, but she had no idea. So now she's got
like a Facebook page, right, Well, they do, they do.
There's kind of dedicated to the children.
Speaker 8 (22:12):
Oh speaking which yes, I talked to her earlier this week.
Speaker 9 (22:14):
She's she's planning a trip to go visit some of
them in at Quebec.
Speaker 8 (22:18):
Your mom is, yes.
Speaker 7 (22:20):
So she refers to some of these kids as her grandkids.
Speaker 8 (22:23):
She calls them the genetic grandkids. I forget what there's there's.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
A it's a modern term for it.
Speaker 8 (22:28):
Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Term like you.
Speaker 9 (22:30):
You don't say kids or grandkids, is like genetic or
like my genetic half brother or my or biological.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
To how many twenty three plus twenty three twenty three
and me? Yeah, let's let's pitch the reality show.
Speaker 9 (22:42):
See I people have asked about that, and the problem is, like,
I think you need me to be a a likable,
carrying character. Not that I don't care about these children.
I do, but I'm not like you've traveled to see them. Absolutely,
but I'm not like a wonderful sports games. You need
for this to be interesting. You need this to be
like connected, like.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Oh my god, I just never you can fake we.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
See me do it a little time exactly.
Speaker 8 (23:05):
See, that's not the kind of faure that I find interesting.
Speaker 7 (23:07):
I gotta say that is one of the most self
aware things I've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Exactly.
Speaker 9 (23:11):
You need like a that's not me, You need a
forest gumps to help, right, Well, I guess, oh twenty
three meters on the spectrum or something. So far, they
seem to be pretty normal because the ones I met,
at least are just average.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Joe's and Jill just call the show my Daddy's got Aspergers. Yeah,
how about that.
Speaker 9 (23:30):
That's that's easily the most interesting thing that I ever
told just donate and I have kids.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I mean I thought one of the first when I
first met Sea Bass and heard these stories of like,
I thought one of the best stories was just the
fact that instead of doing other things for money, uh,
you know in college, like some people get like a
college job part time job, you just go down to
the sperm bank cranking out dump one off there and
they pay them. And then wasn't it that you found
out or somebody told you or somehow Uh hey, well
(23:56):
you know if you test into MENSA, they'll give you
more if you test over a certain It wasn't.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
I wasn't.
Speaker 9 (24:00):
So there was if you get more if you allow
them to find you later. But again that was supposed
to be when they turn eighteen. I thought it more
for like genius es.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, did you have to genius juice?
Speaker 9 (24:08):
That's that's one of the things that gets you through
the door, like, because every every Joe out there wants
to be I get paid for that.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, do that anyway?
Speaker 9 (24:17):
Yeah, sixty sixty five bucks for anonymous one hundred dollars
for and that's what this was, you know, before inflation,
one hundred dollars for full Uh yeah, Sammy, what's your
best story?
Speaker 6 (24:27):
When I was in first grade, I it was somebody's
birthday and I really wanted one of the cupcakes. Someone
had brought in cupcakes for their birthday, and they were waiting,
and I though I had to go to the bathroom,
and I didn't want to ask to go to the
bathroom because I thought I wasn't going to get a
cupcake if I went to the bathroom. And it was
the fun, fatty the good ones, like something like homemade.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Sometimes people brought them.
Speaker 6 (24:49):
In and you were like, yeah, yuck. And so I
was the whole time because I was because I was,
for some reason convinced that right when I went to
the bathroom was and they were going to hand out
the cupcakes and I wasn't gonna get one and.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
There wasn't gonna be enough.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
So I stayed in class when I had to go
to the bathroom, and I pooped my pants. And so
now I'm sitting there in class and I had pooed
my pant and our desks were like in fours, right,
So you have someone next to you and two people
across from you kind of is how we were all situated.
And it starts to smell, and now all the kids
(25:25):
are like, do you smell them?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Who farted?
Speaker 6 (25:27):
Okay, so at least my brain's like, oh, what a relief.
They think someone farted. They're not even jumping to who
pooped their pants? And so everyone's talking about it, and
then it's story time and everybody has to get up.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
To go sit on you know, the carpet or whatever.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
And I know that I cannot get up, so I
sat in my seat and my best I call my
best friend over and I was like, go get the teacher.
So the teacher came over and I told her that
I pooed my pants. So she just sent me out
the door signer Who's office? And I just, like, you know,
tried to scoot out the door while everyone was doing
storytime and the nurse. This was a Thursday, which my
(26:02):
dad had thursdays off, so this was not his realm,
but my mom would go run errand so the school
calls my house and it's my dad and the nurse
is like, hey, Sammy had an accident. Can you come
pick her up? Pants, because I think it was kind
of closer to the end of the day.
Speaker 9 (26:19):
There was a real mess purposes together get.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
So my dad comes to pick me up and he's like,
all right, let's go, and we're walking out to the
car and then he looks at me and goes, Jesus Christ,
you pooped your pants.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I thought you just peede.
Speaker 6 (26:40):
And he was like, you're not sitting in the seat.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
In my car.
Speaker 6 (26:45):
So when I got in the car, I was in
the passengers No, I was in the on the passenger side,
front seat, like yeah, he pushed the whole seat back
and I had to squat the whole wayking in the
passenger seat of the car.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Well, he drove me.
Speaker 7 (27:03):
Home and the windows down and no cupcake and no copcake.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
That's the that's the biggest tragedy. And did the kids
figure out at school that you crapped your pants?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
But nobody said anything.
Speaker 6 (27:18):
His friend was the best, Like she like she knew
everything and she kept her mouth shut. Oh wow, she
would have defended me if anyone said anything.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yeah, she was great.
Speaker 7 (27:26):
It's like freshman year in high school, you weren't still
called like Sammy poopy pants.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
Well, I had moved by them, But no, I was
never called poopy pants at all. Yeah, you locked out
the next day or anything.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
I remember first grade, some girl crapped in like the hallway,
and like people still talked about it eighteen years later.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Oh dude, there's a there was a kid at one
of my kids schools that just got busted joeing in
the bathroom. Oh, and everybody knows about it. Yeah, it's over.
Speaker 8 (27:50):
Yeah, do that during school.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Yeah, I forget he's got a nickname. I forget what
it is. My son told me. But yeah, he's already
been he's already been renamed. Like, can you imagine he
changed schools? Man, it's over identity. Yeah, you're gross animal. Yeah,
well there we go. Those are our best stories, guys.
I don't know why you listen to show anymore. That's
(28:13):
it does get any better than that. Yeah, story day there,
that's how it works. We got we got people calling
in here. Do you want to take one of the
calls down? All right, all right, this is uh Lenny,
what's up? Lenny?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Lenny?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Hey, here's this it's the Woodie Shows.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
Yeah, I got crazy, right, I'm just making sure. Sorry
I wasn't expecting it so quickly. But yeah, I got
a doozy of a story. Okay, So I'm gonna try
to There's so much to unpack here, but I'll try
to do as fast as humanly.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Poppers, you got too many?
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Okay. So I was married for ten years to a woman,
got divorced, but I found out she was cheating on
me with the best man at my wedding. This was
culminates and them having a relationship, a rather toxic one,
where by whereas she gets a restraining order against him,
and then it culminates in him burning her house down.
(29:07):
I miss out and she's really cryptic, so she asked
me to come over to her house. So I don't
know this At this point, I don't know it. So
I drive up and as I'm driving up, there's a
cop car in front of me, so that pulls over
by her house and then I pull up in her
driveway and I looked at her. I'm like, hey, is
that for me? Like, because she has a restraining order
against me? She goes, oh god, no, I don't even
(29:28):
notice the yellow tape around her house because the front
part of her house wasn't really burnt that much. But
we get in my car to talk about what we're
going to do with the kids, YadA, YadA, YadA. All
of a sudden, the cop comes up to my car,
knocks on my on my window and says, can you
can you get out of the car? I said, uh, yeah,
I get out. Do you have an ID? I give
him the ID and he cups me and I go,
(29:48):
what are you doing? He goes, she has a restraining
order against you. I go, yeah, but her house burned down.
She goes, I don't care, so I get processed. Oh
my god, So yeah, that's my crazy, Like it's insanely crazy.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
And how long? I'm assuming they released you pretty quickly though,
after they understood the circumstance or no.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
What the funniest thing was, I had to They let
me go that day. But then the guy said there
might be a warrant out on you, and I said, okay,
sure enough. My ex wife calls and says, yep, there's
a warrant. So I had to surrender to the jail.
I go there. You cannot believe the people that are
in there. And what's funny is I only have one
(30:28):
hundred dollars bail. Right, I'm going to be processing and
just let go. I'm the most miserable person there. Everybody
else is like happy.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
That's crazy.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Were this one guy? This one this one black guy
walks up to me and goes, hey, man, you've got
the vape. I go, no, I don't, he goes, I go,
what are you in here for? He goes, oh, man,
Steve w B. What's Steve w B? While black?
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Yeah, and I'm so but everybody there is happy. It's
like that's their playground or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Like I'm miserable, that's the clubhouse. Thank you for sharing
your story. Appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
Yeah, no, pub I love you guys, We.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Love you all right. Thanks Lendy, Bye bye
The Woody Show News
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
40s and Free Agents: NFL Draft Season
Daniel Jeremiah of Move the Sticks and Gregg Rosenthal of NFL Daily join forces to break down every team's needs this offseason.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.