The Woody Show July 8th 2024 Podcast

WE ARE BACK!! Cheers and Jeers, News Headlines, Narc Week & More!

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Is the dune to the graphic natureof this program. Listener discretion is it
lies? The Woody Shows. TheWoody Show Insensitivity Training Class is now in

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session. Egg Good morning everybody.It is Monday. It's July the eighth,
twenty twenty four. Hello, welcome. We are the Woody Show.
Back after a long holiday weekend.Yeah, beautiful, trying to get back

(01:00):
into it, but we appreciate youbeing here with us this morning. My
name is Woody. That is GregGory. Good morning, man, is
good morning to you. Good morningWoody. We've got sea Bans, We've
got Sammy fort is here, Carolineis here. We got Morgan. She's
our associate producer. Vaughn is ourvideo producer, our VIP guest, the
guest of Vonna this morning. Ofcourse, you thank you for tuning in

(01:22):
and checking out The Woodie Show thismorning, giving us some of your valuable
time today. So this is ourvery first day, our first official day
airing in Dallas, Fort Worth Noiseon ninety seven point one The Eagle So
Happy. It's a legendary radio station. It's a great radio station. It

(01:45):
actually went away for a couple ofyears and they did something else and I
didn't turn out the way they wantedit to, and so the Eagle came
back on the air. It's beenwelcome with open arms. And dude,
there was a guy who worked onthis radio station for a long time.
He was wild man, this guyRuss Martin. Yeah, and uh,
dude, there are so many stories, some not so great. I mean,

(02:06):
the guy he was a tortured guy. He had his his demons and
stuff like that, for sure,but uh, some pretty wild, crazy
fun stories involving him too. Buthe was certainly a legend in the Dallas
Fort Worth, the Texas radio uhscene, for sure, for for many
many years. He's he's no longerwith us, but uh, I mean
the station just has like this big, long, storied history. One of

(02:29):
the things I always remember about RussMartin is and I I got a chance
to talk to him one time,years and years and years ago, and
uh, because I was with aguy who's a huge Batman fan, and
this guy had a batmobiles. Yeah, Russ had a batmobile. Talk.
We talked about things that people buyand yeah, oh yeah, yeah,
neverbilia and stuff. Yeah. Butuh, anyway, we're we're really happy.

(02:50):
We're really excited. This is anothermarket for us in Texas. We're
already on one on one ex inAustin and now Dallas. Dallas is a
great city. Love some Dallas andyou know Dallas Fort Worth, and we've
been getting a lot of really goodfeedback already. They've been running some things
leading up to our arrival here onninety seven point one The Eagle. H
just kind of a little bit aboutthe show and what it's about, and

(03:13):
you know, hearing stuff like cartand arcs or you know some of the
other stuff. What's the most redneckthing you've ever witnessed? Yeah, exactly,
but just kind of get people anidea by the show. But this
is our first official live day onthe station. So good to be here.
Yeah, dude, thanks to everybodythere. Zach who's the program director,
he's also on the air, PatrickDavis who's the the operations guy,

(03:34):
Amy who is the big muckety muckwho runs the office. And they got
a great sales team and everything else. We're really excited to be on on
the Eagle and I think it's gonnabe a lot of fun me too,
a lot of fun. So welcome, welcome, everybody, and we appreciate
you being here. And then everybodyelse, I mean, you know,
we know, we we love youtoo, man, the people of the
stations, the cities that we've beenon for forever. So if you know

(03:57):
anybody by the way, who livesin Dallas or Fort Worth, I mean,
the station's got a huge signal.I think it goes for like four
thousand miles something like that. Prettymuch Happy, it's massive. But anybody
else who's listening, whether you're inlike you know, Philly or Pittsburgh and
Nianapolis, Vegas, Los Angeles,you know, I mean Austin of course,
right, you know, so makesure you tell everybody to check out

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the Woody Show. On ninety sevenpoint one the Eagle. Help us spread
the word on the show. Today, we've got the weekend cheers and jeers.
See what everybody got up to,especially on a long holiday weekend.
Yeah, a lot of Newton forGreg. Yeah, I know, sure,
what are you talking about? Especiallya summer holiday. Usually it involves

(04:40):
a pool and nudity. You know. Also the trending news headlines get you
caught up on everything there. We'vegot the birthdays, the Porno birthday and
Woody Show cart and arks today cartonarcs agent Sebastian our very own producer Sea
Bass, who goes through parking lotsall over the place, all over the
globe trying to get people do theright thing and return their carts. So
we got cart knarks and a wholebunch of other stuff for you this morning

(05:02):
here on the Woody Show. Phonesare open eight seven seven forty four Wooding.
You can hit us up with thetext over to two two nine eight
seven. Figured i'd start with someWoody Show. Did you know nice we've
heard about people have got like atail, they're born with the tail.
It's a real thing. Yeah,Or people that have a third nipple.
Yeah, that's somewhat comments yeah,way more common than the tail. Yeah.

(05:26):
But how about this. One outof every two hundred people has an
extra rib? Oh yeah, outof two hundred. One out of every
two hundred people has an extra rib. How would you know if you had
an extra rib, because they wouldhave to do like an extra extra Like,
it's not like everybody sitting there feelingand counting their ribs hard. Maybe
one of us has an extra riband we don't even know it. Well,

(05:47):
no, let's get checked and Iwonder if they meant two extra ribs
or just one an extra rib onone side only? Really, so wow,
now we're all grabbing. Yeah yeah. Uh. Fifty nine percent of
people without a four oh one Ksay they thought they had one. Oh.
I no, like that it wasautomatic. Are you not paying attention

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to your investments? I guess not. Like man, people like what are
you doing? And in uh,forty three percent of people said they did
not know what a four oh oneK even was. I believe it.
I know because they don't really teachyou anything in school or even when you
get to the workforce, they don'tteach you. Yeah. No, but
you can always ask. When theysay, hey, do you want to
sign up for the four to oneK, you can go what's that?

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Yeah. A lot of people,especially early on, think that they're just
automatically enrolled in it because the companywill go, oh and we have the
four oh one K match you wheneverelse. You go okay, great,
and they just think it's being takenout. But you have to enroll for
it. But what's taken out becauseyou elect what you want taken out.
People don't even know that because theyagain they look at their paycheck and there's

(06:51):
like so many dogs. Yeah yeah, and you have to wait a certain
period of time a lot of timesto even get it. So when I
first started here, it took sixmonths until I was allowed to enroll in
the foural and K here. Reallyyeah, right away, I thought it
was I thought you were able todo that. I'm totally withstanding on this,
because you know, you get tothe workforce, they don't just sit

(07:13):
you down and explain all the minutia. They just assume that you know it.
Much like that when you see somethingin your paperwork, I mean,
ask the question, what is this? I'm sure you've yea whether you know
what it is, or let mejust go ask hr down the hall.
Oh wait, uh. Don't buyyour kid a bathing suit that's light blue,
light green, or white, becausethose are the three hardest colors to

(07:35):
see in the water. Start tolike, you know, blend in.
They tested fourteen different colors. Theeasiest colors to see in the pool,
Neon pink, neon orange for lakesor the ocean. Neon orange ranked as
the highest. You know, inthe visibility department, Neon pink wasn't so
great. I'm not wearing a neonpink. I've intentionally stayed away from like

(07:56):
medicine, I you know, beingfat guys and stuff. We always have
to wear a swim shirt. I'vestayed away from gray ones because I I've
thought that, I've thought about this. I don't want a shark mistaking me
for a seal, yeah, exactly, or a whale. So what color
do you do? I'll do likea blue blue, you know, or
you know it's like some others aswimming or some other gave it black.

(08:18):
I can look like a seal,That's what I mean. You can all
that might also make you look likea like a seal or something something they
should eat whatever, now, somethingthat I do get eating the line by
mosquitos. When it comes to mosquitoes, they are drawn to certain colors.
They love red and black. Really, I think they gave a rats ass
about color. But mosquitoes tend todislike white and green, which I cannot

(08:41):
pull off white because I look likea big movie screen. Yeah yeah.
Close to fifty thousand people need needto have needed medical attention every year due
to bites from other people. Ohgood god. One in three wives wish
their husbands would hold hands more I'llbet just tell him then. Also,

(09:05):
ninety two percent of women said theyconsider guys who wear silk boxers to be
a huge turnoff. Oh it's sotrazy. Yeah. Yeah, if I
was a woman, I would hatethat. I mean, I like the
way that silk feels, but Idon't think I've ever worn anything that's been
silk. No. I mean,like when when you touch it's like oh,
or like silk sheets, you justwant to know it's off. It's

(09:26):
awful. Yeah, but silk boxers, I don't know. It seems like
you're like a jigglow or something.Yeah. Yeah, oh yeah, brother
boy, Yeah what a show?Did you know? And since we're talking
about what the ladies like or whatthe ladies want, let's give another thing
we'll hear about ladies. Seventy fivepercent of women were asked and they think
men's fascination with their boobs is harmlessGreg Gory, Seventy percent assume that most

(09:52):
guys are boob guys. Huh,I would say, yeah, most.
But here's the thing. Every timewe've asked the question on the air,
are you more of a boob guyor an ask guy? Yeah, guy's
always run away with it. Guyslike boobs. But if it was a
choice between nice ass and nice boobs, people say nice ass because boobs are
more easily fixable. I know peopleare making their butts bigger and the bbl

(10:13):
stuff, you know, but that'snot the same the butt stuff they haven't
perfected. Yeah, I means youcan get any kind of cans you want.
Yeah. True, And I meanthere's so many songs about butts,
you don't really have any boob songs. Of course, we're reminded that this
does not allow us guys to quotelear or make crass comments. Oh all

(10:33):
right, here's a fun fact.While we're on the subject of boobs.
Researchers have found that women with largercans sweat less than chicks with small boobs.
Oh really, really, it's surprising. I thought there would be under
boob sweat. Yeah. Under largerbreasted women presented fewer sweat glands, and
so they produced less sweat across theirbreasts. Fun very strange. I figured

(10:56):
just lugging them around you'd kind ofwork with. True. Yeah, here,
I'll give you one more thing,Woody show. Did you know,
speaking of melons, most people think, you know, picking your watermelon by
using the knocking methods the way todo it. There's no science behind that.
They they'll like tap on it tosee what kind of sound that it
makes, either a more hollow ora more solid sound. Yeah, but

(11:16):
the best way to find a ripewatermelton. I had heard this, I
don't know a handful of years ago, and I've been doing this when we
buy watermelons, and it works.I've gotten the best watermelons every time.
I think. Maybe once or twicei've gotten a dud. But for the
most part, it really works out. You look for a yellowish spot underneath.
Oh it's called the field spot.So this is like where the watermelons

(11:39):
sits on the ground. It createsthat that lighter spot, like a light
green light, right, So youwant to find that spot. But if
it is light green or white,then it's not ripened yet. You want
that yellowish that's weird to it.You want that yellow You would think that's
the one you don't want, Iknow. I mean, obviously it's going
to look different because it's sitting whereI was sitting on the ground. Right.

(12:01):
Interesting, I really wan't one that'slike grown into a cube. I've
seen those those what do you mean? Yeah, they like I don't know,
they make the watermelon grow in likea box or something like that.
It looks like a cube. Ohcool, I like my watermelon free range.
Oh yeah, totally. Here's whatI don't understand. Why do people

(12:22):
still buy to this day seated watermelon, or why seeded grapes? Why don't
even still sell those? Who more? I prefer watermelon where I have to,
like you be very careful before.But yeah, the grapes, those
are the words. Hate that.Yeah, I don't know why. I
wish they could. Could we figureout a way to make cherries that have

(12:45):
no pits? Oh my god,I have that would be the best.
I love cherries. Cherries are sogood. Yeah yeah, but man,
like you gotta really, you know, be careful right into those cause those
are really hard. I mean,at least watermelon seeds are softer. Yeah,
for sure. Have you seen thepink pineapples? They're like one hundred
bucks each? Oh I heard aboutthat, Yeah, but I've not seen

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that or you know, it's alsoreally expensive. They sell cotton candy grapes.
Oh yeah, good, you're good. Really, you're certainly not worth
the four hundred dollars. It costsno thanks expensive, Yeah to buy them?
Yeah, it sucks all right.Look, phones are open eight seven
to seven forty four. What ifyou want to call them this morning?
Be part of things. You cando it that way or you can hit

(13:28):
us up on the text over totwo to nine eight seven. If anybody
has an answer to that? Whydo we still make and grow wide and
watermelons? I love to know?And what Psycho's buying? I know?
Yeah? More what he shows next? Hang on, sit tight show.
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(13:50):
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Dog Restaurants dot Com. The WoodyShow, and we are into another new
hour Insensitivity training free politically correct World. It's Monday morning, the holiday weekend.

(14:13):
Our holiday breaking is over. Backat it is July the eighth,
twenty twenty four. Wedding. That'sgreat, gory, Good morning, good
morning, to you. Good morning, Woody. We got sea basket morning
Sea basht oh. By the way, this is the beginning of Nark week
week. Shark Week began last nightover the weekends on on TV and so

(14:35):
now it's you know, our annualtradition nark Week. So all week long
we're to have cart narks for youin h and Sebastian d cart. Although
there is a guy. Did yousee that one guy that I've been sending
you he's like so it's like he'sa foreign dude. Yeah, it's like
this Russian YouTube. Yeah guy,and he's like a giants. He started
a bodybuilder, you know, sixtyfour massive duty, looks like he should

(14:56):
be like a like a wrestler.Sketches he pretends to be like the Russian
mafia, and he did one wherehe pretends, well he did some cart
narcing, but he just did itas a one off and he didn't.
He just did Yeah. He goeson the yeah, and he's this massive
dude. So people people don't getmany lips like they do with me.
Right, He's put the cart behindthe car, which is that's a no

(15:16):
no, yeah, like if ishe doing it in America or in Russia
in America. Yeah, but hejust did it as a one off,
so that's okay. He's not reallystepping on my toes because if he did,
I'd fight him. I'd pay forthat. But yeah, he's not
fine. He's he's doing it theproper way where he's not hurting anybody except
for what what he's saying is hedoes what we call the pit maneuver,
where you put the car behind theircar, which makes sense and I did

(15:37):
that years ago, but technically it'snot legally the best move. We were
legally advised that could be that couldbe seen as false imprisonment if you're into
a particular R word or a holeday, they could make charges. So
not worth just trying to get somebodyto return a cart. But Agent Sebastian
and the cart arks the beginning ofNarc week. Yes, nice, you're

(16:00):
on the Woody Show. You happy? I got cool songs? That is
a cool song, greive it?So uh weekend cheers and jeers. We'll
start with U s mass. Allright, this is good. You're not
gonna believe me when I say this, but Greg, I was in the
UK over last week, huh,and I was actually going to dinner.

(16:23):
On my way to dinner to govisit my extended uh sperm family. How
many kids? I Mike the showKiller sent me some article about a guy
who's got a thousand kids. Wellthat's this new had Netflix the documentary of
that Norwegiana Danish guy. We donateda lot of jizz while he was in
college for money, I donated life. Yeah, sure did people. So

(16:45):
these are the British. These arethe two British kids that I've met before.
There are a couple more British kidsthat I haven't met yet. We
may do that in the future,but I'm on the way to go visit
them. At like, you know, Brixton oppon Tim and I see a
bench and on the bench is alittle plaque Greg. Yeah, and it
says this is an official act ofKindness bench n meaning sit here if you

(17:07):
don't mind having a kind conversation.Oh that's the perfect bench for sea mask
So me right, So you justhave a nice You just sit and wait
for assumingly an old person to showup and just chat about something kind and
pleasant. And that reminds me ofthat show We Love Life, which is
what Ricky Gervais would do is hewould go to the bench to go talk
to his dead wife and the andthen he but the old ladies would show

(17:30):
up and just chat with him abouttheir friends. This is a this is
an official thing in Great Britain,which is so British, silent random question
when you go to meet your children, do you like dress any different?
Do you dress up or you stillwill? Well here's the thing, Yeah,

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I did? I pants at ajacket, Yeah, because I and
I also do the did that onthe plane not only to Great Britain but
also to Inow because I want tobe like, Okay, I'm being respectful,
I'm being kind, not being anugly American, as the phrase goes.
But you dress up to fly now? I did when I'm going overseas
only Yeah. Yeah, you don'twant to be a slot. I don't

(18:14):
want to because and by the way, I'm one of like four maybe if
that if that the the whole,like gross, the whole people wearing underwear
as out as pants now is takingover the world. It's the whole,
you know, kardash and being eightypounds too large to pull it even pull
it off. It is now aninternational problem. But I'm gonna I'm gonna
set the example, Okay, andso I did that. Yes, when

(18:36):
I want to go dinner with themas well. But when you meet them,
are there rules set aside, likeahead of time about like what kind
of stuff they don't want you totalk about or mention or no, because
there's I mean, I don't knowwhat that would be necessarily because they do
typically just want to know. It'sjust it's very again, it's it's polign,
it's kind conversation. Yeah, yeah, I know. But if you
if these kids are meeting their biologicalfather, did you take them to the

(19:00):
yeah, talk about right, likedays they just got done with school over
there, so you know they're goingthere. Actually again second mentioned they were
on the next day they were goingto Japan. Two mentions of Japan already
coacidentally that happened to be going there. Oh you guys going to do on
your trip? How was school?Well, the one together, the boy
who's a little older, he's wayinto basketball or what do you think about

(19:21):
the NBA draft the girl into ballet? What age fifteen? And she is
okay, well ro so they canunderstand what's going on. Oh yeah,
I haven't met any like under tenyear olds. I've only met the ones
that the parents are like, oh, this would be nice if you just
kind of because they because I havea sort of public persona, they're like,
okay, this guy's in the psycho. They just all know yet he's

(19:45):
publicly allowed to be honest and publiclyhe's you know, he's not a weird
of living in a shack essentially.But yeah, but those stories are for
later. It's also the second timeI've met them, so you know,
we're comfortable around each other. Sothat's your cheer. What's about the jeer?
This is also something thing that's comeover to the States from Europe and
we've imported. You've been into ahotel where they make you put the key
card in the little slot to turnthe lights on. Yes, how annoying.

(20:07):
And I remember see the first timeI saw that was maybe about twenty
years when I was summer eating inOxford. You going around, You're like,
what why aren't the lights turning on? All the cruise ships are like
that too, And I get itwith the cruise ships because they have you're
on a ship, there's limited productionor electricity. Yeah, but I'm I'm
on a damn hotel and I'm like, why is it so hot in this

(20:27):
room? Oh? The a season? Oh why isn't the ac on?
Oh? Because no one had putthe damp. It's called freedom, It's
called right America, people. Imean the answer to that, as you
asked for a second key just toleave in the slot. We're rooms are
so freaking hot, hot, andthey're small, and necessarily you've got a

(20:48):
suck. Yeah, it sucks,like people. We have all the energy
we need. Again, this isnot a nuclear rant, but it could
be. Just just do better.You know you're not. We don't have
to scrimp and save nuclear especially especiallysaid at sixty. Every light on it
and if the curtains are on oneof those things you just play with them
constantly. When it comes to airconditioning, I need it cold. I

(21:11):
want it cold when I walk in, I want it cold. I don't
care if you have to burn apile of spoted owl to get that,
because yeah, exactly, and Iwould get it. Okay, I get
it. It's Europe. They don'tknow any better, but it's it's I've
been in places in here. Ithink it was actually probably Sandiso. No
I'm sorry. Why is it thelight work? Oh col people, Greg

(21:32):
Gory weekend cheers and jeers. Iwant to start with cheers to the unsung
hero of the beverage world, andthat would be the very unpopular clamato.
I drank my weight in clamado thelast several days. So underrated. It
is clam and tomato juice. Yeah, and I would start every morning that
I have no I put beer init. I made him. I would

(21:55):
put beer, clamato, maybe adash of hot sauce, and here and
here I thought this whole time,didn't clams Yeah, drinking them love it
and then a little dash assault startthe day. Every day it was.
I mean I if I when Iretire, I will be so good at
it. I will keep climato inbusiness. And whatever beer is on sale
in business, it is a greatIt's hidden in the grocery store right now.

(22:18):
Yeah, it's in the middle ofthe middle of the middle, readily
available. It's always there because nobodyseems to buy it because they think,
oh gross, the climato. Ilove you, thank you for starting every
day. You're gonna have to bringthem in for a minutes. Oh god,
absolutely, You're gonna love it,and then I'm already and then jeers
yet again to my stupid, uselessimmune system. I spend half my time

(22:45):
off with a raging summer cold.That to do. Of course, every
vacation, every vacation, I getsick in this time around, it wasn't
the beginning of the vacation, itwas the end. So the last few
days did I have my clemado andbeer? No? Did I enjoy the
outdoors? No? I sat insidewith a wet towel in my head,

(23:07):
sneezing because my eyes were burning,and watering, sneezing, coughing, sore
throat. Wasted four days doing nothing, So my stupid immune system sucks.
To be fair those when I havetime off. If Greg wasn't sick,
he also would have done nothing ofthose four days. I enjoy doing nothing,

(23:29):
as you very well know. Yes, so this was doing nothing while
being sick. My cheers are tothe people who listen out there, who
understand how vacations work. Okay,now, the people who are complaining about
uh woo, do you show anothervacation blah blah blah blah blah, those
are the same people who are bitchingabout going back to the office, not
getting to set their own schedule,bitching about a five day work week.

(23:52):
All the same people get but hurtabout us taking our vacation days that we
are given, which we never usedto use all our vacation day true,
and now we're wiser. And ifyou're not taking all your vacation days,
you should be your favorite TV shows. Whey they give you thirteen episodes?
Now is that typical eight? Yeah? Like Eiah and they're gone for two

(24:14):
years. I'm just thinking about likea like a better call Saul or something
like that, like thirteen, they'regone for a year. People like,
oh, don't work everybody, No, No, we actually work ford edge
of them at forty six weeks ayear. We are here. Yeah,
ever better than those TV shows.Yeah, So there you go. And
then my jeer. This is afourth of July aftermath story. It's a

(24:36):
forty one year old guy in SouthCarolina, Alan Ray McGrew, who was
no longer a resident of our planetafter he lit a large firework and then
sat it on the top of hissuper cool uncle Sam Hat. I believe
there's video of this gay right,which was on his head at the time.
I have not seen of the actuallike you know moment. There was
a video that I saw of himbefore it happened, kind of like dancing

(25:00):
around. He's like in a bigUncle Sam outfit. Cool. Yeah,
he's like smoking a cigarette and bass, you know, the whole thing,
and then boom goes to dynamite andaccording to the doctors, he died instantly
from massive head injuries. According tothe report, he did it to be
a show off at the neighborhood blockparty. Mission accomplished. He's got everybody
talking about the block party. Butdude, launch fireworks. Have fun with

(25:21):
fireworks. But how stupid are you? You see these people, like,
oh my god, I saw thisone view. This guy almost got his
head blown off. He was like, there was something wrong. You put
a mortar down into the tube andhe's looking down into the tube. It
didn't go off, idiot, itdidn't go off. So here's dumbass leaning
over the tube and all of asudden, you see it starts smoking again

(25:44):
and he backs away and he's notmaybe what two feet from it when it
went off, and those things areallowed. He was way too close,
but he was leaning over the tube, looking down into it to see why
the mortar didn't go off. Ohno idiot, Oh my god, Well
there's pour some gasoline on it.Yeah, it's fine. You get a

(26:06):
light, greg, is it?Is it? How much cool is it
to light fire work with us litcigarette? There was a video of that
too. There was a guy whoyeah, he had a he had a
lit cigarette, but he kept itin his mouth as he was holding the
firework out a cigarette or like hairsprayeda lighter. So jeer to that guy,

(26:27):
and then cheers to the people whoactually listen out there, who understand
how vacations work. We did geta lot of nice comments, people feeling
that you don't have to defend us. We don't care when these people get
upset about that kind of stuff.It's just funny to me that these are
the same people who are like arguingand crying about having to go to work
all the time, who are gettingmad at us for actually taking time off.
You would have thought that would havebeen celebrated. But hey, cheers

(26:48):
and jeers menace cheers that I actuallypretty much just chilled and I just hit
the pool every single day, didsome drinking. I did go end up
went to a pall of dual concertin New Kids on the Block. That
was pretty cool. Killed it,dude, I'll tell you. I was
just a nostalgia concert. Yeah,it was a nostalgia thing. And yeah

(27:11):
some of my friends, Chi,my wife, Yeah yeah, my gay
buddies were going and then along itwas. It was good. Uh.
My jeers though, is one ofthe days of the pool days. I
got it really early and very rarefor me. I didn't eat, and
I was just drinking and drinking anddrinking, and I'm in the pool and

(27:33):
I go, huh, not feelingso hot, right, so I should
get out of the pool. Icannot physically like crawl out of the pool.
I'm what, so, like thatsounds dramatic. You're okay, so
this is not from not eating.You had to have enough power? Yeah,
yeah, yeah, nothing in mystomach. So I'm just so wasted.

(27:57):
And then so I'm trying to likecrawl and then I finally get up
and I get out a little bit, and then I crawl more. I
crawl more, and then I finallymight make my way to the bathroom inside
the house. And I'm just layingon the floor in the bathroom and I'm
just laying there and I go boop. I pretty much puked the entire floor

(28:22):
of the bathroom all liquid. Andthen here's for all the new listeners,
that's what it's called a menace reset. And then I was like, I'll
be good. And then here comesthe two dogs running in and they're slashing
around. They're having their own poolparty up in this and yeah, I'm
just like endless, just puked,just coming out all over the floor.

(28:45):
Should I drunk? Why are youin the pool to begin with? Like,
doesn't that seem like did you drinkwhile you're in the pool. It
just hit me. It just hitme, like while I was in there
to drown. No, no,no, what time a day was this
menace? Uh? It was probablyone one pm today floor and I'm just

(29:07):
gone. And then and I wasjust like I'll be fine, I'll be
fine. And then sure enough,two hours later, I was at a
restaurant eating. So I was good. But you know, like the next
day I kind of felt it.So I was a little bit slower the
next day. Can you tell yourwife when this happens? Oh no,
she's there witnessing it. She seesme on the floor. Did she clean

(29:27):
up after you, who cleaned it? No, I cleaned it up dogs.
The dogs probably had to take That'swhat she makes her journaling over the
day, dear Diary, Such alucky lady. He's just meeting by her,
one says reasons, I'm such alucky And oh did I leave out
that I was naked on the flooreven loved not twenty years old anymore.

(29:51):
He did this when he was twentyas well. Yeah, I had a
celtzer that had like one hundred milligrams. Who cleaned up the bar? I
seed it? Oh you didn't seeokay, Well, I mean you don't
do much else, and usually wehear about your wife doing everything. You
couldn't You couldn't lift your head tothe toilet. No, yeah, no,
no way, way too tall,dude. I told it all the
way in the house, but likeonce you're in the bathroom, it's all
fair. I couldn't move, man. Yeah, I felt like a thousand

(30:14):
pounds if only you had been outdoors, just right there and then closed it
off. Sammy weekend cheers and jeers. My cheers is to my flight out
of the Hartford Airport. I therewas such a long line for security,
and I thought, oh my gosh, this is going to take an hour.
They got everyone through. I wasthrough in fifteen minutes. Yeah.
They just let all the guns andthe bombs through. Too many people.

(30:36):
Yeah, well they were like,don't take anything out of your bags.
Okay, Yeah, got through.It was great. And then I was
flying American. I got on myflight. It wasn't full. There was
nobody in the middle seat. Iwas so excited. It's always the best.
Every seat for you has got tobe like a first class seat.
She's like, what what four right? Yeah? I even maybe four eleven
comparatively. Yes, their feet don'thit the floor. She's sitting in a

(30:57):
regular Spirit coach seat. It doesn'tmatter. Their feet don't hit the floors.
Every seats the first class. Yeah, and my jeers is to whoever
left just a living room basically outsideof my apartment. There's a giant chair
and automan a coffee table. Someaccessories were added to it because apparently they're

(31:17):
moving it. Just dumped it rightoutside my door. Did they at least
put a science has free on it. No. I don't even know who's
ever gonna come take it. Ican't move it. I'm sure I'm sure,
they called ahead and had it allarranged. Lefty somebody else's problem,
neighhood, trashy people, irish people, or it might have been somebody who
just moved out and left all thatstuff, you know. But what I'm

(31:37):
saying, like, you know,they didn't put the stuff out there like
they because I've I've had situations whereyou know, people that you know,
rent their places out. They wouldtell me like, oh, these people
just moved out. They left halftheir furniture there because they just didn't want
anymore. Right, And so thelandlord then has to you know, pay
somebody or do it themselves and moveall their crap out there. Typically though
they wouldn't have been sure that's happened. But typically the owner wouldn't do the

(32:00):
renter wouldn't do that because they don'tget their deposit until the place is you
know, as moved in. Soif they live in a building that has
a parking garage below, they justdump it in the parking garage. There's
all kinds of legal dumping laws,but like you know, all the laws
are on the books already, butthey never get enforced. So and it's
right outside my door. Somebody hadto move it to be in front of
my walkway? Can decent walk outof their walkway? What anything decent?

(32:22):
An yeah? Or just that youcan want to keep? No, like
a nice mattress. So it soundsneed a couple of big strong see that
everyone while they see like a mattressout on the curb. But it says
free, who wants that? Yeah? And it always looks like the old
yellow pillow that everybody's there's at leastone person in your house has got an
old yellow pillow. Yeah, andthat mattress is the one that's on the

(32:44):
curb. Free, right, everybodywants that tempting Well, there's your weekend
cheers and jeers. Everybody tell yeah, how many kids you up to see
that? Offecially if it's at twentythree twenty three and there's probably a handful
more. Just aren't part of thisknow each other. We're gonna to get
quick break. Phones are open eightseven seven forty four. Warding hit us

(33:04):
up with the text over to twotwo nine eight seven. Sounds like it's
an unadvertising word to Meler. Wehad we had, we had the term
sauce glzzy, we got some fourthof July stuff. We already talked about
the guy. It was my jeer, douchebag, dumbass. Why are you

(33:28):
putting a firework on your head's right? What are you doing? What were
you expect? Well? I doyou think that was gonna go? It
seems like we have one every year? Yeah. Put There was a house
fire in Connecticut and when the firefightersgot there, they decided that instead of
putting the fire out, they wouldhelp it burn because the house was full

(33:49):
of fireworks and they just kept goingoff while they were trying to battle the
fire. So they're like effort andthey got permission to burn it down noise,
just to make sure all the fireworkswere destroyed. Wow, safer,
they said. The homeowner also arrested. Not sure what all they had the
like did they just go to thelocal fireworks stand and load up or do
they have like some kind of theprofessional stuff. I don't know, Like

(34:12):
what would you get in there?So you're gonna tell me right that you
don't have no black cats, right, no roman candles or screaming mamies.
No, Oh, come on,man, you don't got no lady fingers,
buzz butterles, sneaker bombs, churchburners, finger blasters, gut busters,
zippity do does or craft flappers.No, you're gonna stand there owning
a fireworks stand and tell me youdon't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen

(34:32):
splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey riders, who's your doos? Don'ts hiring bombs,
nips and dazers, whether without thescooter stick or one single whistling kiddy
chaser. I mean, I thoughtabout that when I went to the fireworks
place and I loaded up on stuff. Yeah, and I thought, Man,
I haven't watched Joe Dirt in probablytwenty years. It should be a
national holiday. Mom. Yeah,right, that's Christmas vacation. I remember

(34:54):
it reruns all the time. Iremember enjoying it. I wonder if I
watched now, if I would stillthink it's funny. I hear that clip,
but I laugh. Yeah, they'drun on TV a lot. Yeah,
Gregor, you were wondering what Igot, right, So I bought
uh four, I'm sorry, fiveof the five hundred gram cakes that but
they call them. They're basically abox full of fireworks and it's one fuse,

(35:15):
so you light it and then itputs on a show and forget it.
I got one called hit the RoadJack. I got another one called
high Falutin. There's one there calledShock and Awe. Oh hell yeah.
One of those really good is calledout of Control. I really like that
one, and then I bought itjust because the name make America Great Again.

(35:36):
And a bunch of like Roman candles, and I forget what they're called.
Like, they're like these little likepyramid triangle looking things and you light
them, they spin real fast andthey shoot up in the air and then
they and then they explode up there. Whisker dews or whiskered did you see
that, mister beasts and streamer Kaisanot. They lit off like two hundred stuff.
I tell you what. At thewe were at the fireworks supermar Kid

(36:00):
yep, and we thought we hada bunch. I spent probably close to
six hundred bucks. It was likefive hundred and something plus tax. Nice
right on the stuff that I justmentioned. These guys you don't even go
to home depot and you have thathand truck the flatbed, and you're spending
These two mefed out looking dudes wereeasily spending three grand. I mean this
thing was loaded up God, Andthe only thing I could figure is like,

(36:23):
man, no had to be likegoing to like a block party or
something like. All the neighbors chippedin and they just sent these two guys,
kid Rock and his buddy to gopick up you know, all the
stuff. Uh huh. How longdoes it take the light off all that
stuff? It takes a while.I mean, you know some people.
I got a buddy, Gino whowill like tie everything together and so it

(36:44):
creates like one big show. Butyou know, my dad and I we
were just out there. We hada couple of like concrete you know blocks,
out in the middle of a bigpiece of land that he's got,
and we're just like setting them offthere. One of the time, all
the ladies watched from the porch werelike, oh, that's right, swimming
in their juice slid. Greg,is there as a homeowner if you're gonna

(37:07):
light off fireworks in your house orat your house? Is in your house?
I assume there's you put like thingsdown because you don't want burn marks
on your driveway. Of course,Well I would think we did that right
in my dad's driveway. The onlything that's fine, The only thing we
did at my house this year.One of my friends brought those. I
guess you call them snapcaps that youjust throw. Boy, that was it.

(37:27):
I was thinking about, Great,there's gonna be papers everywhere all wild,
Greg Guy Banks Nacks. I gotnothing. Somebody Nebraska used a firework
to destroy a porta potty. Saythey heard an explosion and then whoever did
it drove off a super sweet suv. But that's all they know. Also,
several people were injured at by USFootball Stadium in Utah. Did you

(37:50):
see the video of this? Somestraight fireworks landed in the stands. It
was a professional fireworks display inside thestadium and had a bunch of people.
There's like a red, white andblue celebration thing and so like behind one
of the end zones in the seatsthey had set up where all the fireworks
were being launched from. And allof a sudden, man thought at shooting
right toward the crowd. I meanlike professional grade fireworks. Yeah, right

(38:13):
into the stands. Several people hospitalized. No word yet and what exactly happened
they hire, I mean it hadto be some professional Yeah. That was
in BYU Stadium in Rogue. Yeah, it just went rogue, I'm saying
because you can see it coming.Yeah, I mean dodging. Oh yeah.
The town of Glacier View, Alaska, celebrated the twenty year anniversary of

(38:37):
their signature car launch on the fourthof July. So no fireworks here,
but I'd rather go see this.Yeah. I love watching these, did
see that? Videos from it areawesome. Dude hurling cars off a cliff.
Yeah, had a school bus.They had an RV with a boat
on a trailer. It was awesomeand I think all of Alaska was there
because it was a huge thousands ofpeople. They like they just put like

(39:00):
a stick on the accelerator and yeah, the launched them like yeah all day.
Yeah, it's good. So there'sa ton of videos from it.
You got to see it. It'sreally cool. I saw the video.
I said, I would pay goodmoney to go to this. It was
so cool. I'd love to launchone of the cars. Man, you
don't have to pay good money.It's only twenty dollars for adults and ten
dollars for children. What a deal. My buddy he ran a radio station.

(39:23):
He did this thing one time wherethey were giving away like a new
car and they did it by gettingan old van and they lifted up on
a super tall crane and then theydropped it, and then wherever the steering
wheel landed, like they had abunch of like they got a big grid
on the ground, and so theydropped a van and wherever the steering wheel
landed, whatever square that was,that's the person who won. So you

(39:43):
know, like you know, Gregwould have square seven and if the steering
wheel landed in square seven, hewon the new car. That's awesome.
I want to do that. Yeah, let's also start the TV network.
I want throwing off buildings and thenwe could do cars of cliffs stuff,
throwing off buildings and watch it exploding. I'm time to go shoot some guns

(40:05):
right now. Show one of theother stories that I saw that I thought
you guys might enjoy. Police inWisconsin they got a call for somebody threw
cheese at somebody else's car, VeryWisconsin. Okay. The victim said it

(40:28):
felt like someone was trying to chasethem down and that the person threw cheese
at their vehicle. Now, I'vegot some audio here from the news coverage
and it's very it's it's very uhdad joking. Yeah, they had.
They thought it was very punny.Police Claire's they they responded to the most
Wisconsin complaint ever. On Monday night, officers checked down a report of someone

(40:52):
chasing a driver down and throwing cheeseat their car. Police call the complaint
not gouda and it's unbelievable that someonewould do that, getting the department into
the post by writing, throwing cheeseis not your best look. Getting clear,
No, that's not cheesy at all. Unrelievable it because it's also people

(41:16):
in the comments they kept it gone. They asked if it was a Swiss
demeanor, another asking what kind ofmonster would do such a thing? Getting
which is my favorite cheese by theway, what munster munster? What did
you call it? Munster Munster's monsters. Yeah, munster cheese munster and then

(41:39):
jack yeah, and then to mildcheese and so creamy. It's like,
oh, it totally has flavor,has more flavor. I had some flight
back, Greg, did you loveit or hate it? I loved it,
but I hate having to carve outthe stupid. It's so good.
But it's as a kid, you'dcall it monster cheese monster, because you

(42:04):
know, what the hell you're talkingabout so good muster's good, though you
throw some monster in it because it'sgood for a grilled cheese because it's nice
and creamy. Sounds like we needa blind cheese taste test, you guys.
Oh, I'm not blind tasting cheeseand there ain't Havardi. Sure phones
are up at eight seven seven fortyfour. Wood You can hit us up
with the text over to two twonine eight seven Woody show. We'll be

(42:29):
right fag fag and we are intoanother new hour insensitivity training for a politically
correct world. And it's Monday morning. It's July the eighth, twenty twenty
four. Thank you for being heregiving us some of your valuable time today.
I'm whatdy, that's great gory.We got menaces the sea bass,

(42:53):
we got Sammy phones are open.We'd love you to be a part of
the show. Any time you wantto call it. Never need an invite.
What he is the phone number?You can also hit us up with
the text. You can send thattext over to two two nine eight seven.
Got a brand new redneck news comingup for you this hour. And
you might have noticed that yesterday wasthe beginning of Shark Week on Discovery the

(43:17):
annual summer tradition, which is SharkWeek, which means only one thing that
this week here on the Woody Show, it's Nark Week. Yes, Woodies
Show cart Narks Nark Week. AgentSebastian out trying to get people to do

(43:38):
the right thing and return their cardsto the card Corral. You can follow
at carton Arks on Instagram. Idid see like somebody who had bought a
cart and Ark's shirt. I guessit was a return to sendra. I
had to put it on your deskthis morning. See. Yeah, because
this is the merch gone wrong.Yeah, because I don't. I don't
send out my own merchandise. Ihave a third party company. But this

(43:58):
is the business address. So ifit's returned to center, it comes back
here as opposed to the manufacturer,who I don't touch it at all.
Yeah, I got this shirt like, oh great, great, Now I'm
freaking customer service over here, ashirt that somebody paid for. Yes,
I won't get their shirt. Iwill try to. I'll reach out to
them and see if what the issue, the wrong address or something. Whatever.
Well, it's a it's Cardnarks.We're going to do it each day
this week in honor of Shark Weekon Discovery. It's narc week here and

(44:21):
what do we got to see youas well? Because of that, we
have a special treat International cart inArcs International car. Why well, this
is actually house their trolley because anywhereexcept for the North America, the North
America, they call carts trolleys becauseapparently they think they're parts of trains.
Yeah, or along in San Franciscogoing up and downhills. Sure, that's
just what happened. So this andin England where I was, most of

(44:45):
the trolleys the carts are locked upwith the old coin and chain system.
You can see that here in theStates and Canada at all, the like
that. So that's no problems withcards, right. So, but but
there are a few stores that don'tuse the chain system. But most people
are still they're kind of trained.They're like, oh, I'm trained normal.
Even though I'm not getting my poundback, my coinback, I'll put
it back. This lady did not. She had a cart right in front

(45:07):
of her car. She's kitty cornerfrom the cart. The trolley returned,
so it would have taken her tensteps to put it back. But you
know what took three steps the emptyspot right across from her and almost kind
of in the front of another person'scar as well. So it's loose,
it could blow it hit things.So I approached her agent Sebastian did,
and asked her kindly if she wouldmind leaving her or putting her trolley where

(45:30):
it belongs. Did you see wholeft this trolley here? Moving it makes
the te right, which I agreeis back. That's terrible, But I
would think the nice thing to dowould be just steal right over there.
Well, it's not anybody's job technicallyto be a decent person. Okay.
So her excuse was it wasn't actuallyher trolley, Okay, someone else left
it there. Okay, that's Iget it. That sucks, right,

(45:52):
But you're not helping the situation bykind of blocking the person next to you,
slash leaving it out in an openspace. It's sure. You know,
if there's a dog dew in frontof your doorstone app one day and
you take it and put in frontof your neighbor's doorstep, you haven't done.
It's kind of a but And againshe was kind of dismissive of me.
You could tell she knew she didsomething wrong. It's not my trolley.
It's not my job, baby,baby. So I have a cartnark's

(46:13):
magnet that said I don't return hershopping cart like a jerk. And I
said, well, because of yournasty attitude, lady, you're getting one
of these. Oh no, she'dlike talked to me about it and said,
hey, would you moving for me? I would have done it for
but uh, you know the cartnark'smagnet here you made away from my car
right now, mam, you tosit your door into that car. You
put nothing on my car. It'sa double negative matter. Take this away
away from me now, madam.I just asked you. I was thinking,

(46:37):
I saw you move it over hereto me. Well, the wort
translates anyplace Adele did her own shopping. Hello, is this your trolley nodel?
But this is a classic. Thisis the great psychology in cart narks
is when you are called out forsomething wrong and you know you screw up.

(47:00):
Anger is always the first course.Because I was actually I was a
cost coach. They haven't in GreatBritain. And I saw this lady do
the same thing and she and Isaid, oh, what's this here?
And she said oh no, theguy who's pulling in my spot said to
leave it there. She was kind, she was calm. She just explained
what the situation was, and Isaid, okay, no problem, see
you later. But when this thisc word rama said up, she knew

(47:22):
she was wrong. She knew shewas being a you know, a jerk.
So anyway, so just so happensto a bunch of employees right across
the way. So now I've gottenonly this chick yelling at me. But
the employees, they they always theysighed not against the lazy bones. They
sighed against whoever's loudest. Of course, you know, whoever's making a fuss.
Oh, they must be in Thecustomer is always right, even though,
as you heard, I'm even saying, madam, I'm I'm accussed,
I'm you know, using her language. Play exactly so the employees now getting

(47:46):
up on me, Madam, Iwas simply I was. I was asking
her why she left this trolley righthere, madam, So let me explain
real quick. My name's ay disAbashed. I'm with the cart narks.
Well, see what happens. I'mkeeping people from being lazy like this lady.
Was what she did. She tookher trolley which was in front of
her car. Bad I agree,but she left it right here. I
know if it's hoot when the carit's not funny my job? No,

(48:07):
no, do you see? No? I worked for the card Knarks.
So who's the count Knot? Idon't know. I've heard that accent before.
I think it's like the it's thethe gunk or whatever his name,
like a specific type of British accent, yahnk on earthunk on earth yea,
like from the lady that one Americangot talent. That's that's Scottish. Oh,

(48:30):
Susan Boyle Boyles. It might berelated to that anyways, Susan Boyle
and Adele together. So I've gotnow two or three different ladies. What's
what's a cottie knock? You know? Yelling at me? Then another guy
comes up and eventually I'm like,okay, look guys, look how easy
this is. You don't have toyell. You can just do this instead.

(48:50):
Now, man, please, doyou keep going to that because she's
not learning her lesson. I don'tneed to learn. Touch my car.
It's not that valuable. It's allscuffed up down there. You feel,
it's not away now, Madam,what's upsetting people is dinging people with their
trolleys and hitting people with their peopletrolley. I made out the way of

(49:15):
mine, you know, a betterresponsible ben. Watch what I'm doing.
Watch what I'm doing, not mytrolley, but I'm putting it back.
Why is it kind of a hokeywhen like chicks with foign x and swear.
I think that's kind of like,it's much cooler. I would tolerate
that, like I get annoyed oflike some American joke does. Honestly surprise

(49:35):
how heated they got because you'd thinkBritish polite. This is in Croydon,
which no one's ever heard of,and you would never it's you know,
maybe an hour south of London,and I was walking around the air is
like, oh, this is ina good neighborhood, and so I think
I think trash kind of translates.Okay, sure. A classic cart Narks
movie've heard a thousand times before isinstead of having a conversation, it's well
what we need to No one couldfinish a sentence because everyone's screaming. It's

(49:58):
the more it's the the more,the uh, he's dead now, Jerry
springer. Oh syndromeer, I can'thave one sentence before anyway, So unfortunately
I don't think she learned her lessonabout her trolley. Well, it's a
Shark week on Discovery. It isnarc week here on the Woody Show,
and as such we are doing ourclassic cart Narks episode. This is from
also fun accents Land, Dallas,Texas Classic cart arks were this guy he

(50:22):
leaves his cart again, open spot, A couple spots next to him.
I approach or ate I Agent Cordell. That's Agent Cordell, who's a Dallas
native. He's with the Texas Rangerdivision of the Cartners right right right,
fun fact Cordel Walker, but butWalker Texas Ranger. His first name is
Cordell. Oh wow, a littleexactly a little Carnark's lore for you there.

(50:45):
So he approaches this guy, samething and let's hopefully maybe this American
I'll show some class, right guys, scoop deep deep Hello, Agent Cordell
with the cart Narks. That's nowwith the cargo we got both maga for
here you go, got him thechavers touch my car? What's wrong with
your car? Sir? Well,sir, you left your card out where
you could touch other people's car,Sir, you want to me? Damn

(51:08):
it, Bobby, don't you knowI'm going back to sell pro pain,
trying to get back to the shop. You want to Yeah? All right,
so no, Agent Cordell wants youto Yeah, he wants to take
your car back. You want tome? No? Sorry, I want
you to call I get the helllong. I want you to take your
card back. So what I wantyou to do to yourself? Why do
you want me to myself? Sir? Get the hell out of my way?

(51:30):
I'm not in your way, yousir? That cars and somebody's way
now right, Well, not tillyou take a card back. There you
go, sir, Not there.I'm fixed to escalated quickly. But no,
okay, it's easy to say I'mfixing to kill you. Yeah,
that's like, so that's that's ageneric death threat. Yeah, maybe this
guy has a more specific one.Oh okay, I'm fixed. Why would

(51:51):
you do that, sir? Becauseyou ain't work pie, Sir, I
block your tax sir, thankul,I'm good dodger, sir. Can you
just take a car back? Sure? I'm cart and Arc agent Cordeel,
and I'm a killer. Oh,all right, so he's doubling down.
That's a killer killer. Yeah,it's okay. So he said he's gonna
kill me twice again, Let's seeexactly how's he going to accomplish that.

(52:13):
I'm a killer. Well, sir, that's not nice put right into in
foreheads and was expensive? You knowthat's right? Ate six parentheses bullets and
uh he continues there yeah, welldark oh wait, no, oh no,
I think I remember what happened.Oh, I mean yeah, I
mean yeah, I renamed that foryou there. Yeah, I'm sorry to

(52:36):
remember this guy in its history.Yes, all right, there you go.
Okay, and I'm a killer,Well, sir, that's not nice
to put right in forty okay,so we got that. Now he's threatening
to put six in your forehead.Yeah, fixing to put about six right
in you, sir. That's againstthe law. I don't give a date.
What you did is harassment. No, it's not, sir. That
car could harass mbody. What doyou like to keep proaching me, sir?
Because I think, sir, thatcart when you take your car back

(53:00):
where belong sir, and the nameof Texas. I beg you, sir.
I even invoked the great and ofcourse, yeah, yeah, so
he walked. But again when hewhen he said, okay, I put
six in your forehead, I'm gonnakill you. I'm a killer, et
cetera, et cetera, I'm akiller. Right, okay, So at
that point I'm not going to goup to his car where he has an
egging grabbed literally anything, right,and then get closer to him. Did
he ever put it back? Henever did. Oh, despite all of

(53:22):
that chase, and then I sawwe posted this video, and then we
got this report sent to us fromCBS Texas. Now, some folks have
got the timeline screwed up on this. What I'm about to play you is
from the year prior to this cartNarks encounter you just heard. But it's
the same guy, same dude.In fact, he was wearing somehow the
same shirt and pants. Really well, when you find something that fits,

(53:46):
right, yeah, he see ifhe's a very very large, portly gentleman.
So this is what he did theyear prior on a Dallas area rapid
transit train. All right, Well, Dart has determined a man who fired
his handgun a board a train lastnight acted in self defense after a see
him. Initially police let him go. He has licensed to carry, but
also based on the information we had, he was acting in self defense.

(54:10):
Yeah, like a hot head atall. No, he wouldn't shoot someone
over a magnet on their car.Yeah, I'm gonna kill it. And
by the way, the information theyhad was just him and some bystanders saying,
yeah, this guy was kind ofmenacing or whatever threatening. Did he
kill that person? He did not. In fact, I have since gott
an email from a man who claimsto be that person I've got shot right

(54:30):
saying, you know, it's it'skind of it kind of sucked, right,
yeah, kind of, but yeah, that he was not He was
not armed. The person the quoteattacker on the Dallas trade was not armed,
was not you know, it wasnot threatening or menacing. Maybe it
was panhandling a little bit, andit certainly didn't deserve to be shot in
the gut by this guy, muchas agent Cordell did not well the threats
of being shot for a magnet.But well, there you go, Liz.

(54:52):
Gentlemen, it is narc week hereon the Woody Show. Ye would
put himself in danger to get peopledo the right thing. The trail car
shout out to both agents. SoI want you to call I get that
hell long. I want you totake a card back. So what I
want you to do for yourself?Why do you want me to have myself?

(55:13):
Sir? Get the hell out ofmy way? I'm not in your
way. Sort that car when somebody'sway. Now, we'll not till you
take a card back. There yougo, sir, There I fix.
I think what you're talking about thatsensation. I don't think the diaper makes
it so that you want to pee. I think it's I think there may
be some kind of effect where youknow you've gone. I can feel the

(55:35):
warmth kind of like headed down towardmy testling. The show A woody show,
Welcome back, and we got abrand new redneck news that we're gonna
have here for you in just amoment. So the Paris Olympics, they've

(55:58):
announced the backup plan at the hoopwaterdoesn't clear out. Yeah, because the
triathlon, the swim marathon they're currentlyscheduled to happen between July thirtieth and August
fifth, and if the conditions continueto be deemed unsafe, those events could
be postponed by a few days andshould the postponeman not work, the triathlon
would become a dual athlon. Duathlonright, du a lifa, so the

(56:22):
biking and running only, Okay,Yeah, the marathon swimming event would be
moved to Uh they're doing They're puttingthis pool in this stadium. It looks
really cool. Yeah, it lookspretty awesome. Just me? Or did
I not realize they had open waterswimming events in the Olympics until this year?
Really? Really, I've never heardof the marathon swimming, have you?

(56:45):
No? But I don't really payattention to the Olympics. I'm misremembering
because all you see are the poolevents where it's right and so on and
so forth. Duathlon do athel?I forgot you did? We have to
anounced like every ten seconds? Hadradio is the crowd? Yeah? I
think there's the audio partner of thepodcast two Dudes in Five Rings. That

(57:08):
sounds awesome, ru great. Thereason is check it out, guys.
There's no good storyline, like SimoneBiles is the only athlete we know of
to follow. There's no Michael Phelpsanymore, true, and I need Michael
back. Well, there's the thewomen's gymnastics team has four return returning girls
from the last Olympics, not justSimone Biles and Greg I'm sure you can
name all of them, right,Yeah, can you name them? Famous

(57:30):
Jordan Chiles, Sunny Lee, andJade Carrey. It's standing corrected. That
was a dump thing to ask herbecause she's a gymnast person. But the
average American doesn't know barely maybe evenknow Simone Biles, right, and we
know you just made up those names. Yeah, Johnson person Sammy then maybe,

(57:50):
but since it is Sammy, Yeah, I'm gonna say it's actually real.
It is real. You verify that, I mean check anyone wants to
fact check me. Don't care thatmuch. But did they say have pole
vaulting? That's pretty cool, right, sure, Yes, they still have
vault They still have the shot put. Yeah, okay, yeah, those
track and field kids, man,they were getting it all. Oh heck

(58:12):
yeah, leave some for the restof us guys. You know, the
long jump and stuff like that.Yeah, they're still doing that. Yes,
somebody said biathlon, but they didn't. They didn't call the biathlon in
the article. I'd be confusing withthe Winter Olympics back biathlon, which is
the skiing and shooting. Oh right, a T H L O n athlon.

(58:35):
There's great movies called biathlon. Inever heard of that. Never heard
of marathon swimming. So there's twothings that I don't know exist. Yeah,
we got a brand new redneck news. So what do you show if
the mouth math you don't ever didis keeping score in a game of darts.
News and today's redneck News. Aboutthis fella's name is Trent Leonard.

(58:59):
He got into a high speed chasewith the police. It was four o'clock
in the morning. I clocked himdoing about one hundred mile an hour.
They ran the plates, they figuredout who he was, and it turns
out that old Trent shouldn't even beon the road. He was out on
bail. As a stipulation of hisrelease, he was on house arrest,
wasn't allowed to drive. But herehe was now running from the cops,

(59:19):
running red lights and then getting onthe highway for a bit. And when
he got off the highway, thecops were waiting for him and they took
out his tires with some spike strips, but even still he kept going.
He ended up pulling into the parkinglot of a hospital where he got out
of the car and made a runfor it. They later found Trent hiding
in a bush, so he wasunder arrest. Turns out he had a

(59:42):
reason for ditching the car at thehospital. There was somebody in the car
with him, in fact, tosomeone's his pregnant girlfriend, who was in
labor ended up having a baby girl. Trent arrested, taken back to jail,
and when they asked him why heran and risked his life of his
girlfriend and the baby, he saidthat he knew he'd be going back to
jail, and also he was highon meth at the time, so he's

(01:00:05):
looking at about three years in prisonfor these nude charges on top of all
the other problems that he already had. So he should have lied and said
he thought his girlfriend was going intolabor. It's an excuse. Yeah,
and I'm speeding to the hospital.No, that's what she did. Oh,
she did go into labor, that'swhat I said. Oh you did,
Yeah, yeah, I missed thathe was in labor ended up having
a baby. You're out, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now

(01:00:29):
you would have thought that out,Like if you were smart, not on
meth, you would have pulled overand said look, man, I know
I'm not supposed to be able todrive, but my girlfriend here is in
labor. I'm trying to get tothe hospital. You can even claim the
myth because you're saying I was aboutto fall asleep and I gotta get Yeah,
it was for safety reason. Ifyou would have just consulted us first,
you're going it's mister Trent Leonard wholed the cops on a high speed

(01:00:51):
chase while out on bail and highon meth with his pregnant girlfriend in the
car. And ladies and gentlemen thatis today, he's Raid Nick who good
times. You know, when Ihear these stories on like my name is
Earl or Raising Arizona, it's alwayscute and funny. Yeah yeah, but
it's the real life version when heshows next, hang on the show.

(01:01:16):
And a couple of things in thenews. Big news for the Target going
crowd. Okay, what's happening.Beginning later this month, Target will no
longer be accepting personal checks as aform of payment at their store. Is
good. It's a big news forthe great crowd. I haven't never checking
a store in years, Yeah,never ren a check at Target. I

(01:01:37):
just got not a target. ButI just got stuck behind one of those
people at the grocery store. Howhow they still exist they do? I
think I don't know. That's great. I think they're doing it on purpose
now because it's it's old people whomit gives them a chance to do something.
Old people love a chance to dosomething. They love talking at the
register like that's their highlight of theirday. When I were doing a story,

(01:02:00):
like every old person wants to stopdown because that's their interaction with people
from checking receipts. Well, I'veheard the argument because people don't trust the
electronic aspect of like a debit cardor a credit card because people can then
steal your information. But like you'rehanding them a piece of paper that has
your name, address, your routingnumber, and your bank account number on
it. Like you're just handing thema receipt that has all that crap on

(01:02:23):
it, and you're taking up allthis time, holding up everybody in line.
I like that is the other thing. Man. When people get into
the self checkout lines, is thisyour first day on earth? Literally every
time you go, let's assume itis your first time at a self checkout.
Yeah, you've been in a linebefore where other people have scanned stuff
before. How do you always lookso lost when you have to scan something?

(01:02:45):
Is this the same as the ATMpeople and all this stuff on the
screen, It's all intuitive? Yeah, pay now right? Okay? Insert
card? How are you going topay? Follow instructions on the computer?
Even though I have an iPhone,it's in my pocket to see it.
Walmart at the time is people willshow up to those self checkouts with two
full baskets wallers worth of stuff andjust an assist on using the cell when

(01:03:07):
you know it's it's faster. Someonedoes? I do like Walmart that they
have a little checkstand now that youcan buy alcohol at no at the self
checkout, and effective on August nineteenth, Sam's Club Plus members will only get
free shipping on qualifying orders of fiftydollars or more and people are pissed.
I am a Plus member. Yeahrules, no, that is I like

(01:03:27):
the car because it's black. Andeven more bad news, Big Lots is
planning to close more stores this yearand Greg, how shocked are you?
I'm so shocked. That is theclassiest store ever. And Big Lots may
even close all fourteen hundred of theirstores permanently. No Big Lots fourteen.
I know that's a good place tobuy a bed frame, by the way,

(01:03:50):
really you want to like a metalbed frame? They have transition.
They are way more there's way morefurniture in a Big Lots. There's a
lot of one in about a month. Yeah. Like the last time I
was at a Big Lots, thecouch I saw was like beige of a
lure or corner or something. Andthey're always dirty, like did you smudge
them with dirt? Right? Theseare dirty. It's a weird like poor

(01:04:15):
person's Ikea. It's the weirdest placebecause you can get like a massive jar
of peppercini peppers and you know,an easy chair and a beach ball.
Right, it's so sad. Whatis it? What's they called a mattress
box? Right, that's under boxspring box spring Yeah yeah, but do
you even need box bread. Ithink modern mattresses aren't made for like you

(01:04:38):
don't even need box. So theysell they sell box springs just on their
own. Yeah at big Lots.Yeah, Like you don't have to get
the mattress with it, Like,oh, I need some peppercini's and a
new boxxpring before it's cheap. Yeah, because yeah, you're a right sea
basket because a lot of modern bedsdon't have it supports built in. Yeah.

(01:04:59):
But also it's like if you don'twant to bed that low, you
get the well, I mean justget in Like I have a thirteen inch
mattress, No big deal. Yeah, but you'll have it on the floor
right. Well, you can alsohave it on race bed frame. Yeah.
You have it on a frame,yeah, or a platform that has
the drawers underneath the bed. Oh. Greg would hate well, so you
know, because you don't use abox spring for that that the mattress just
sits on top of them. Heever came to my place, Greg,

(01:05:23):
you'd see that. I have araised bed frame. But but it's exposed
underneath the storage. All right,we're in two another new hour insensitivity training
for a politically correct world. Itis Monday morning. Yeah, it's July

(01:05:46):
the eighth, twenty twenty four.Woody. That's Greg Gory. Good morning,
Minus, Good morning to you.Good morning, Woody. There is
sea Bass. We've got Sammy Bort, Caroline, we've got Morgan, we've
got Vondes are open eight seven sevenforty four Woody. That's eight seven seven
forty four, Woody. Give it'ssome of the text over to two two
nine eight seven. A couple ofthings coming up for you this hour.

(01:06:10):
We're gonna do the the Craigslist priceis right, which we've done a number
of times. This is the darkWeb edition. We talked about this.
I don't even know, and someone'sgonna have to explain because I know Morgan
ended up going and finding a lotof this stuff. Yeah, and maybe
i'll maybe we don't even talk abouthow to access the dark Web on the
radio. I don't know. Yeah, it's all possible to find out,
believe it or not. I wantto, like, you know, people

(01:06:32):
go, well, if the terroristsreally wanted to get us all of it
have to do, and they layout the plants, like, well,
maybe we just don't vocalize it andput it out there. Yeah, we
all know that the dark Web exists. Maybe we don't like give a step
by step on how you find it. But we have some of the items
that are being sold on the DarkWeb, and we'll play around to the
Craigslist prices right with that coming uplater on in the hour. Now,

(01:06:53):
one of the the websites that it'sreally blown up over the last couple of
years. Is TEAMU. Yeah ithas. Yeah. TEAMU started it in
twenty twenty two. And they're blaminga lot of the closures of the discount
stores on TIMU, like our biglots and our dollar stores and all that
kind of stuff's all crap, right, Oh well, everything has cheap garbage.

(01:07:14):
No, I'm asking the question.Yeah, it's not name brand stuff.
It's very bad. I'm not namebrand I think what he's saying is
it's literal quality fall apart in threeseconds, right, disposable disposable stuff.
Yeah, you can find anything andeverything on tim I know that, but
then how long does it last?Like you get it and then it's like
what done? And I don't knowbecause you can too. I mean,

(01:07:35):
well, you can find sex toyson there. You can get e bikes
like usual, like e bikes thatyou would see in a store for like
two grand, you can get forfour hundred bucks and just kind of burn
your house out, like the youplug it. The minute you plug it
in the charge, next thing youknow, you got a fire that even
the fire department can't put out.That's white hot I'm curious how this stuff
even is physically able to be producedat these prices. Yeah, that's like,

(01:07:57):
well, we'll check this out.Because there was a story just recently
only how deor the you know fashioncompany, they have handbags that they sell
for twenty seven hundred bucks. Yeah, and they went through a lawsuit and
it says that they're actually made liketwenty five bucks. Yeah, fifty seven
dollars. Okay, I think Italywas suing them or something, the country
of Italy. Yeah, so theyhad to disclose like how much it actually

(01:08:18):
costs to make these bags. Andthey spend a billion dollars on the Super
Bowl this past super Bowl that you'renot deal or but t they were spending
a ton of money. Every otherad seem like it was a tu Yeah,
like how much does stuff actually costsor produce? I do not know.
But what Timu does is like cutout the middleman and directly from the

(01:08:40):
manufacturer whoever's making this stuff is shippingit. Yeah, listen to a podcast
that kind of explains their supply chain. It's it's different because they like the
manufacturer won't make let's say fill inthe blank and e bike until Timu gives
them, you know, a thousandorders, and then they say, oh,
I can make we can make thismany thousands, and like when it's
the saying well ship but directly fromour factory. There's no TEAMU where house

(01:09:00):
like that would be for an Amazon. And they also, I think they
have some kind of deal where they'reskirting international tarifflaws to or pay, so
they're like, that's another part ofthe discount is they're not exactly claiming things
necessarily that there's some there's some builtin thing a few years ago that gives
them access around those I know whatit is. I've never bought anything from
Timu. Any TMU shoppers in here, I have not, Morgan, have
you ever used TMU? No,I haven't, but my mom loves it.

(01:09:24):
Yeah. What kind of stuff doesshe buy? She's bought a few
things for like theme parties. Yes, maybe sex toys. I'm your problem.
They have on there by the way, Yes, they have everything.
Why would you buy anything on therethat they're gonna put in your body?
Good point? But no, theclothing is terribly made. She says,
you can wear it one night foryou know, an event, and then
it's done. They battle a shein, which is another discount spot.

(01:09:45):
Now the downfall I heard about isit takes a long time to get to
you now right, well, Ithink that has changed because I was just
about to tell Sea Bass is uhyou know, I just recently went on
TMU to buy some items, andthey actually have set up some warehouses so
they can get us to off withina week. But that was when it
first launched. That was the kindof something some factory in the middle of
China takes like three weeks before yougot something. Well, Menace did buy

(01:10:08):
something just to just to so wecan all see how it all works.
Medice's t MoU review and what didyou buy? You said he bought a
couple of things I thought of somepeople on the show. So okay,
first I bought Greg, I boughtyou a massager that was nineteen dollars and
eight cents. Now, if youwant to go ahead and open that up
set up. Now, the problemis I thought it was like rechargeable,
but you actually have to plug itin. So I'm not buying anything from

(01:10:31):
that goes into my wall out becausethat's again house burned down, right,
So it's one of those like it'slike a neck pillow that's got those built
in little nodes that rotate. Saysis good for teachers because usually we have
to use our own money to payfor the stuff in our classroom. Oh
yeah, like pencils and stuffer.So and then I thought of Woody,
and I bought this sound machine becausehe likes to sleep with sound machines.

(01:10:53):
Yeah, and I. So Iopened it up and I immediately broke the
top of it. Okay, Ithought you had to. I thought you
had to turn it to make differentsounds. Yeah, it's actually pretty cool.
So oh it still works, Yeahit does. What was the thing
you broke off? What does thatdo? Nothing? It was just for
shell Oh okay, ocean stream rainor fire Yeah okay, yeah that was

(01:11:26):
like podcasts to do the same thing. Yeah. Oh apps. Right now,
I can't turn it off. Ohyeah, you can't turn it off.
Oh damn, I can't like itturned off. Okay, there we
go. We're looking right now.I'm seeing a hoodie that's like the Ramen.
It's, you know, like theRamen cover, Yeah, but it
says instead of ram And it's weedflavors. Yeah, dude. So and
then for Sammy, I found thisoven mitt that's a mouse because she loves

(01:11:50):
that. Yeah, gripper, Yeah, Glenn pelle H ninety eight. That
does look like something you would buy. It is super cute, supers cute.
And when so you're grabbing your cookiesout of the yeah, little mouse.
This thing, this other thing thatI bought because you know, we
like to talk about the office toiletall the time. I thought we should

(01:12:12):
like juice it up or like,you know, I don't know, make
it, put some flair on it. You can make your toilet look like
a disco light. Oh cool.And that was only four dollars and forty
eight. So this is a lightthat clips under your bowl. Yeah,
and then it kind of projects adisco pattern. Yeah, to rave while
you're going to the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, because I sent it to
you directly, I posted something thatmaybe you would want to buy. It's

(01:12:35):
like a rear view mirror for yourtoilet lid. Right, it goes so
when you left your toilet up,there's a little rea like where you're the
middle, the lower your back wouldbe. So when you look back,
Greg, you get a nice clearshot of your butthole of actually, so
you can see if you're like reallycleaning up well enough, taking a tunny
to look at it makes sense,Greg. How's your neck massage? It's
kind of legit, really, it'sactually nice and it's super simple. You

(01:12:57):
just hit the on off button.Are you supposed to lay on the ground
with that thing? Would imagine thatwe were supposed to do and I supposed
to hold it like like a thinga strap on the back that you put
on your chair. Yeah, okay, or here lay down on the ground,
Greg, and give us some review. This is the review somebody did
say their mom's sister stepmom. Numerousother ants have gotten their credit card info

(01:13:17):
stolen. Yeah, because I thinkwhat they do is because they're you know,
old people on Facebook. There arelike some like counterfeit websites that make
it look like and then they putit in there. See. That's why
I've never used is because that's whatI heard they were stealing information, so
to not use it. You know, lying down is not as good as

(01:13:39):
just grab Yeah, it goes alittle too high, kind of goes to
the back of your skull. Huh. I could be good, just keep
it a little lower, all right, Okay. I also bought a light
switch that that as an actual lightthat's pretty light. Yeah, that's pretty

(01:14:00):
like stick that somewhere. It's likethose old tap lights. You have a
little storage area you can just attachedout to the wall. It looks like
a like a wall plate with thelight switch and you just flip it and
like like an LED light comes onesthat cost three dollars. How can I
get an electric bike out the word? Would you say three some four hundred
bucks? But yet that light switchcost that much? But I get three

(01:14:21):
dollars and that includes everything that's fromChina to your door for three dollars.
I know how. Yeah, theTexter does say seven one six says TEAMU
is garbage from China and its purposeis for the Chinese to collect personal data.
Okay, yeah, nothing like that. I have no other ways to
do it. And they have TikTokand now they have team but like again

(01:14:41):
personal data, so they like menace, likes light switches and backings. Okay
with that. Nine for nine.We went camping recently and we bought a
ton of stuff from Timu. Veryhit or missed, none were in the
middle. It was like a greatbuy or basically just broke right away.
Now here's another thing. I don'tknow if I'm sure should do in the
studio. I'm gonna anyways. Bubbleguns are very popular on social media,

(01:15:02):
and this one has thirty six differentareas to shoot out bubbles. Oh,
let's see if it works. Thisone was. The bubble gun was three
dollars and fifty six. I seethose people with the kiosks at the mall.
They use the bubbles to get people'sattention as they're walking by. Well,
that's yeah, I think sucks hereare Oh wow, they're still in

(01:15:29):
bubbles all right. Cool. Now. The thing that I found though,
joint plastic dolphins. I found outthat actually has food on it. Oh,
really gonna have arsenic in So ifyou tear down these are pizza potato
chips. Now they actually you knowthe bag, yeah, it says calb

(01:15:51):
pizza potato chips and uh unfortunately ontimu that the food items are actually pretty
expensive because they sell them in bulkand then so you can't get them like
individually. So the five pack alreadygave them away to some little kids.
But five kids is nineteen dollars andninety nine cents. But also another thing

(01:16:15):
that I found when I clicked onthis that you can buy this stuff and
installments like on a firm and afterpay. So if I wanted to buy
these pizza chips, I only hadto pay four dollars and ninety nine cents
that day. Oh well that's whenyou know you've really made it. Yeah,
but you're buying like a sock,all right, you're buying chips on
timu on basically like a layaway plantfor financing it. Dude, those are

(01:16:36):
a plus. They are. Thatis so good. Tastes way better than
smells. Yeah, that is reallygood. Well great, now you guys
are just implanted chips in yourself andthen the Chinese can't track you. That's
right way to go. So themost expensive item that I did buy,
and I don't know if you're adventurousto try this, but there are like
buttersticks so forty one ninety nine eighteenpack. I think they're just sticks of

(01:17:01):
butter that are forty one dollars forbutter freeze dried butter. Yeah, well,
so what is it though? Imean they look like I don't really
know. Can you re read thisChinese ingredients? Can you read it?
Jaga Ricodo butter flavored potato snack.Okay, so it's potatoes, yes,
extruded potato. Oh really, butterbaby has a butter flavored because it looks

(01:17:26):
like French fries. Butter. Yeah, I think it's just butter sticks.
It's butter. Ignore the potato part. It's just yeah, there's no okay,
yeah, it's just a potato stackthere. Probably just buttery, right,
very crispy, okay, very hard. Oh that's not good. Yeah,
almost great, though this doesn't tastelike much of anything. Gross,
right, there's devoid of flavor yetthe most expensive item, yeah, that's

(01:17:51):
weird. Forty one bucks for howmany for an eighteen pack of garbage?
That's terrible. It has a verybuttery after taste. Terrible. So I
moved on to some other stuff justto cleanse our palate. The Happy bing
Bing wafer cone snack strawberry flavoreding.And it kind of looks like a dumb

(01:18:14):
what was that dumb? Dumb?Or what looks like ice cream cone?
There you go? What it looksalmost like a like a toy version of
an ice cream cone. It's newfood and it's from China. What do
you hate both those things? Ido hate China, that's true. You
know, it reminds me of likea I remember as a kid, they
had those little ice cream cones thathad like, instead of ice cream,

(01:18:35):
it was like marshmallow in the middleof it, and they would have like
I remember Melissa Horwitz's mom always hadlike four hundred packs of those. Eat
those like crazy. Yeah, that'suh the going in. It's okay,
but then they're just got to reallyfilly finish cookies. It's like a wafer

(01:18:56):
with not enough strawberry. It isone of those wafer cookies, but cone
shaped. Yeah, not good.I'll strawberry flavor. Well, does have
this happy cartoon character on. Itcan't be that bad. It's not good.
Oh God, smile as the cadmiumenters your body. All right,
well there's there's MENACE's TMU review.Yeah with food who knew? Yeah,

(01:19:18):
who knew? Felt terrible? Yeah, And I got the items pretty quick.
And also they have this weird thingthat every time you go on the
website you got to spin for coupons. So I actually got everything for under
one hundred bucks everything, Yeah,even the forsticks. Yeah. Go to
the TMU website, and again youhave to before even entering, you have

(01:19:39):
to spin a wheel, which isky cool. Yeah, it's a game.
It's now for those of you whohave bought stuff on on TIMU,
what's the best thing you bought onTimu? Have you bought anything you were
legitimately like, wow, this isactually really good? All right? Hit
us up on the text over totwo two nine eight seven, right back

(01:20:00):
the show. All right, Sowhat's cool that you bought on tu?
They bought a eight function high pressureshower head. Absolutely loved it. Was
ten bucks. Really yeah, thatseems like something that would break after one
years. I shop TMU frequently.I bought four Ladies tops and I absolutely

(01:20:23):
love them. Also got plenty ofplant items that I use. Greg,
you're always talking about how expensive fakehouseplants are. See that is a multi
quadrillion dollar industry. Here you go, see best says. I also buy
many of my essential oils there aswell. I don't know, not even
joking that it is not a goodidea. So many supplements and things like

(01:20:44):
that have all kinds of crap inyou don't know about seven oh two,
I got a talking cactus for mygrandson. It's five bucks, still works
great. Where did it go?Moved to get stolen. I think it
got moved. T shirts on Timuare not that bad. Surprisingly good quality
and fit to size. Okay,so we said they bought a two pack
of black light flashlights for a dollarseventy five. Usually would have paid ten

(01:21:08):
bucks going to a store. Gota hoodie for my gear shift, so
it looks like a little dude.I see you put it on the Okay,
it's like a golf club cover.Yeah. That was two dollars and
fifteen cents. A four pack ofLED lights that you plug into a USB
port your car for extra ambient lightingnoise. You look like a yeah.

(01:21:30):
Yeah, you see the the liftsand the ubers that that do that too.
Yeah. I was in a Halloweentheme one one time. The orange
lights all around. This one saysI ordered place mats for every holiday.
They're amazing places trash class. Ilike, yeah, I like seeing.
This is why all these discount storesare going out of business, because this

(01:21:54):
is all the kind of stuff youwould go to the dollar store for us.
Another text says I bought wireless headphoneto look like AirPods. They work
so well. I bought them forfive bucks and they look and feel like
AirPods. I was honestly amazed.A buck. There you go. Well,
if you want to win some stuff, this will be for the bargain
price of free. We have adumb ass contest coming on for you.
Next, it's the dark Web editionof the Craigslist Price is Right. Oh

(01:22:17):
wow, So if you want toplay, phones are open eight seven seven
forty four Woody. That's eight sevenseven forty four Woody, same as the
regular Craigslist Price is Right. Butinstead of you know, getting the items
off of Craigslist, we had Morgango on the dark Web and find items
that are being sold there. Again, I've heard the dark Web. I

(01:22:38):
know what it is. I don'tknow how you access that or hopefully from
my work computers. Yeah, it'slike darkweb dot com. I mean yeah.
But anyway, Morgan did it.She had the help of a few
people of like, you know,navigating there. But that will be next.
If you want to play eight sevenseven forty four Woody. That's eight
seven seven forty four Wooding. Howdumb are you on the Woody Show?

(01:22:58):
I'll bet you're right back, Greg, What is this massive news that you
have to share? Oh my god? So you know how I've always wanted
a beach getaway. Yeah, yes, I might have made an offer on
one. No way awesome, andthey might have accepted. No, I
might have. I mean they did. I know. I always dreamt of

(01:23:19):
Santa Barbara. And I mean,okay, so like an actual plate,
not like you're finding. Because Greghas been notorious for like he wants to
go on a beach vacation and thenends up staying at his house and going
nowhere. This is a and actuallylike have to drive to a different city.
Yeah, and that eliminates having toever fly. He has to go

(01:23:39):
to the beach. It is fivehundred feet from the sand. I mean,
it is right there. And Igave up my dream of Santa Barbara
because I realized, oh I'm notJeff Bezos. It's disappointing because it's in
Carpenteria. I love that. Ohmy god, girl, that town rules.

(01:24:00):
Go to spot Burger. Hell yeahexactly. And they've got everything I
could ever need. It's a populationof thirteen thousand. It's tiny. The
place is tiny, but it isI mean Mahomes could throw a ball and
it would land on the beach.Nice. So many antique shops. There's
antique stores, there's a sushi spot, there's the burger spot. That's a
little town. And I'm in theprocess right now. I'm freaking out why

(01:24:25):
because oh it's I can't I'm thinking, why did I do this? I
mean, if Greg spends fifty bucks, he has the same feeling, right
right, And that's the thing Iwant to learn it. Yeah, Like
if I spend money on shoes,I think, oh man, did I
really need shoes? Now I seea place for ten minutes, I'm like,
you know what, I'm gonna buythis. Yeah, let's do it.

(01:24:45):
That's all break. Congratulations. Imean it is my ultimate yolo moment.
I hope there's room for Sammy.It sounds like she's gonna be there,
Jo and he will be there.Well, Love, we get to
come to your actual house first beforeI will do a little tour. All
right. Well, great, congratulations, Thank you so much. Show.

(01:25:09):
All right, well, let's uh, let's play and win some stuff.
You got a dumb ass contest readyto go here for you and our dumb
ass contest today is the price isright? Ye, craisis price is right.
This is the Dark Web Edition.Now you've heard about the Dark web

(01:25:30):
sea best you want to explain itmore, It's just kind of like it's
basically it's a it's it's the realweb. You just have to basically there's
a few layers to get there.You're you're signing onto a server which signs
on to another server. So thatkeep things hidden because it's nefarious stuff.
Yeah, kind of you don't wantpeople to know who you are, where
you are buying, you know,drugs and people and things like that,
bootleg movies. Let's just say you'rein the market for people even bought not

(01:25:55):
a whole person body parts. Man, Yeah, this would go need a
liver. Yeah, all right,So it's gonna work the same way that
other other Craigslist prices, right,games work. I have the things that
Morgan has found. Now, Morgan, when you were digging through there,
were you surprised about what, youknow, what you could find and not
really because I just assumed you couldfind anything on there. Think I was

(01:26:15):
on the team side of the dark, the team you're on the gray web
that was in the shallow wind end. Yeah, all right, Well we
have these items here. I'm gonnatell you a little bit about the item.
I'll ask somebody here in the studioto give me a bit on how
much they think that item is beingsold for on the dark Web. And
then you on the phone just haveto guess is the actual price higher or
lower than the bid that was givenhere in the studio. And if you

(01:26:38):
can do that, you're gonna beall right. Dark Web edition of the
Craigslist price is right. And uh, let's go to our first contestants,
say hello to Christy. Hey,good morning, Christy, Christy, good
morning. All right, so let'splay and the first item that we have
here, let's go with Uh,let's go with Greg on this fuck ay,

(01:27:01):
all right, forced ol in thedark Web. It's a stolen and
cloned credit card. Oh, thisis a USA Visa credit card with a
balance of two thousand dollars. It'san actual credit card that has been cloned
from a stolen card. Every cardis written by a high quality writer and
comes with a working pin. Everycard is verified for funds and validity before

(01:27:21):
shipment. They work worldwide. Ohnow, how much for this stolen and
cloned credit card? Off? That'sa terrible to go for it. It's
got a two thousand dollars ballance.So I think they would think that you're
getting a deal if you've paid.No, I think it's the balance on
the car. I'm not sure howmuch available credit line? Yeah, what

(01:27:45):
balance is? Two thousand dollars?I would buy because I would figured it'd
be canceled almost instantly. I wouldthink that's with any of these things.
Oh, it's cloned, like cloneworking one. They don't even know it's
cloned. I see, So don'tuse it on a chip deer though.
Oh wow, okay, I doyou know what, I'll say, five
hundred dollars? I have five?All right, Christy, do you think

(01:28:06):
the actual dark Web price is higheror lower? Well, first of all,
on Team Who, it's a lotcheaper than that MAGA cheaper. I'm
gonna I think I'll go a bithigher higher. Actual dark Web price is
only ninety dollars your favorite store.Yeah, yeah, just get the credit

(01:28:30):
card. All right, Christy,thank you for the call. Appreciate listening
to what he show. All Ry, Christy, all right, thank you.
All right, let's go to uhAndrew. Good morning, Andrew,
Okay, good morning helping. We'redoing good, all right. So this
is the dark Web edition of thePrice is Right and uh, next here,
let's see, let's go with themenace on this one menace for sale

(01:28:54):
in the dark Web. It's aglass ball meth pipe. It says,
why embarrass yourself and get evil looksat the quickie mart when buying your paraphernalia.
We have a ton of them,and we ship very discreetly and quickly
to anywhere in the US. Madewith the highest grade glass materials. The
glasses both thick and strong, approximatelyfive inches long grade for d MT as

(01:29:18):
well. Awesome, I'll know whatthat is. That's what it's like.
A psychedelic DMT. Yeah, sure, I'm not cool enough to know what
that is. I wonder if weknow the thickness of a glass. It
does not say what there is alet's say there's a picture here that I
can try to show you. It'sgot some red veining in it. DMT

(01:29:39):
is a visual and auditory hallucinag Okay, I'm gonna go five bucks. Five
bucks, Andrew, what do youthink do you think the actual dark web
price is higher or lower than fivedollars? To be able to experience the
high of MET and DMT and allthat, I figure it's got to have

(01:29:59):
a little bit more values in thatlong to go a little bit higher,
a little bit higher. Well,the actual dark web price thirteen dollars and
sixty seven cents. Oh wow,very specific, very random. Yeah yeah,
so congratulations, my friend, youalready winner. Heck you way out.
Hang on one second, we'll getall your information. Let's go to
Chris. Hey, good morning,Chris, Chris Morning Show Morning. We're

(01:30:24):
playing the dark Web edition of thePrice is right. These are all things
that are being sold on the darkWeb. Let's see. We'll go with
Sammy on this one. Okay,Sammy for sale. It's a hacked Uber
account, Oh all right. ACKed, It says you will get hacked log
in user details with their credit cardinfo attached. You will be able to

(01:30:45):
order Uber taxi rides in fifty threedifferent countries in more than two hundred cities
worldwide. Will so, how muchfor the hacked Uber account? I'm going
to say fifty bucks? Fifty bucks, Chris? What do you think?
Do you think the actual dark webprice is higher or lower than fifty bucks?

(01:31:06):
I'm gonna go lower. Actual darkweb price only fifteen dollars gray,
congratulations, All right, Chris,Hang on one second, we'll get you.
You're welcome, Thank you for thisdone. Crackas. Don't just use
regular like glass weed pipes. Yeah, they have to have a special pipe

(01:31:30):
in meth heads. Yeah, andyou're not getting the crooked eye from the
person at the head shop that kindof judging you. We've got time for
one more. Let's say high toleague morning Lee, Lee, Good morning
morning. All right, we're playingthe dark web. Price is right,
Sea Bass. This will be youritem here, much like he got his
MENSA certificate. This is a fakeIVY League School degree. Oh, I'm

(01:31:53):
sure you could buy it. Lookif I can buy a hacked Uber account
and a credit card online, I'msure I can buy the Mensa bulletin the
hell you get the Men's of bulletin the magazine when you have an official
membership yet back huh oh wow,okay, well yeah, they have printers.
Really cool. All right, Soa fake IVY League School degree printed
on thick quality paper, high qualityembossed seal, identical size to an original

(01:32:15):
degree. When you order, pleasechoose which degree you want and send me
your first name, last name,date of birth, city of birth,
and graduation date. That sounds likethey're fishing for info on the dark web.
Yeah, sounds great. I knowI got a fake degree actually,
just so you could have the plaque. Yeah, because he went to NYU
for a while, didn't graduate,and then but he wanted to be able
to say he wasn't so ordered youcan bodies on websites or whatever. For

(01:32:38):
the dark web, I'll say twohundred and fifteen dollars, two hundred and
fifteen one five, two hundred andfifteen dollars. So what do you say,
Lee, higher or lower? Well, the IVY League is the best,
the best, so I'm going tosay higher. Actual dark web price
four hundred and twenty five dollars.Congratulations, it's the cup hundred and twenty

(01:33:00):
five bucks. That's the embossing.The Do they hack into the system to
say you went there? Or doyou want it? You can? But
whatever you got, you got toget a degree from Harvard. Go ahead,
we can go to Kinko's and getthat. This is all all the
little things that add up. Yeah, Lee, congratulations, you are a
winner as well. Dropping thank youwelcome. Hang on one second, we'll
get all your information and that's howyou play. Did go to Harvard one

(01:33:21):
day? I mean for the day. Oh yeah, for the tour A
degree mass all right, I'm down. I kind of like this version a
little bit better than the Craigslist onefor now. Yes it's new, Yeah,
I like it. Naughty. Itis so naughty. Great your favorite
naughty? All right, More WoodyShows next, Hang on, more show.
After the sales department takes their monitorypiece of flesh and blood. So

(01:33:44):
what do you show back in thebit? I don't care. Why are
you listen? You listening? Youlove it? You listening to great?
As long as you're listening, Thisis the Hoody Show. Welcome back everybody.
Hey y, it is Monday,back from the holiday week. Then
it is the Woody Show. Woody, Greg, Ben, c Ben,
There's Sammy phones are open eight sevenseven forty four. Woodie text over to

(01:34:09):
two to nine eight seven. TodayJuly eighth, it's National Blueberry Day.
Oh yes, slowberries are superfood,right, yeah they are. They're like
super hutting my dogs for their snacks, the regular trees shout out to blueberry
muffins. Oh yeah, blueberry pancakes, everything blueberry. Yeah. My dog

(01:34:31):
likes blueberries as well, except ifif they're not smashed already. She won't
eat them, She'll sir and thenwalk away. But I have to smash
them between my two fingers and thenshe's all about it. Really, I'm
like, what a spoiled bitch.My dog them like crazy. I just
throw them up in there is shenails them. The superfoods a term that
we kind of like. It wasvery trendy for a while. I wonder,
yeah, I went on away,Yeah, we moved on to Yeah.

(01:34:55):
I just assumed it was a thingI had never heard about because I
was just running in the wrong circles. Yes, you know, like I
don't run with that crowd. Igonna run with the healthy superfoods crowds.
I just figured is like a termlike if you all of a sudden you're
hanging out with a bunch of engineersand they start throwing around engineering terms,
or if you're hanging around with peoplewho work in food service, they have
like they're in the weeds all dayfor top like you know, no superfood

(01:35:16):
came and went. It was itwas not anything then, by the way,
it means nothing. Yeah, itwas just the thing people slept on.
Stuff. Isn't there like Ben andJerry's like superfood, No no,
I know you're talking about you don'thave fish food. What Ben and Jerry's

(01:35:36):
would be super food? Making ajoke. It com finds your two favorite
things, Greg, Ben and Jerryand the band Finish That is my favorite
Ben and Jerry. Today is alsoNational Chocolate with Almonds Day. Oh yeah,
it's a National ice cream Sunday.And that's not on a Sunday somehow,

(01:35:58):
Yeah maybe since it's always July eighth, and it was originally on a
Sunday being floats like one day oneyear, your birthdays on a Tuesday.
It's Sunda Day, not float Day, okay, getting he got a lot
of rest over them. Holiday tohis National Freezer Pop Day. Also National
Video Game Day, and it's alsobe a Kid Again Day, which a

(01:36:21):
lot of people to have really takenthat to heart and they actually children all
the time. Uh. Also foryou this morning, I thought this was
funny, man, because uh,I hate people who are phony. I
don't like people who panned or Idon't like the kind of stuff. But
celebrities who tried to fake growing uppoor. I saw this whole write up

(01:36:43):
about it, and they had thereal stories behind, you know, these
different celebrities like where they really camefrom and how they really grew up.
And the first person they mentioned wasice Cube, who is not straight out
of Compton. His parents both hadstable jobs at U c l A.
And his high school years were splitbetween a prep school and a charter school.
He has a degree in architectural drafting. We should know, we should

(01:37:08):
say shame him. So at Menneso's, I just keeps it straight up,
bitch. Other rappers have even calledhim out on other songs, saying,
quote, you ain't never gang bangedin your life? Did he never own
a k oh? No? Wellthat's a weird phenomenon with rich kids where
they want to be like super hood. They wanna Yeah, they want to,

(01:37:30):
you know, be a part ofgang. I don't know culture.
Why I don't, I don't getit. Is that the street credit,
that's where the credibit a credibility.Just be rich and like kick it in
the Hampton go on yachts, Likewhy do you want to be caught up
in all this stuff when you're youknow, easily you can just be you
know, you know what's interesting aboutit too? So you don't come from

(01:37:55):
that world you pretend to be fromthat world, just so that when you
make it in that world, youcan then flash and flaunt and you know,
drip drip drip with your cars andyour yachts and your private jets and
all that stuff. It's really weirdyou pandered to a whole group of people
just then end up like portraying alifestyle that you not that you were on

(01:38:16):
yachts and jets before that. Imean, just because you went to a
prep schools. I mean, yougot it like that, but also not
quite the gang banger that you portrayto be in like n w A.
Another one is Rizzy. Yes,he started star. That was another started
from the bottom now he here,Yeah, that was another one. They
mentioned the article, but he actuallygrew up in a wealthy neighborhood, became

(01:38:38):
a TV star in the sixth grade. He was on that Degrassi show,
de Grassy Degrassi whatever. But yeah, I mean he came from a wealthy
neighborhood and it was a TV starsixth grade. Yeah yeah, but he
got the show, so he gotgrit. He was faking a wheelchair.
Yeah yeah. Taylor Swift is onthe list. Sam, I'm sorry to

(01:39:00):
mention she's got a song. It'scalled I Bet You Think About Me where
she says, you grew up ina silver spoon gated community, glamorous,
shiny, bright, Beverly Hills.I was raised on a farm. No,
it wasn't a mansion, just aliving room, dancing kitchen, table
bills. Well, she grew upon a Christmas tree farm when she was

(01:39:24):
when she was very young. Idon't know farm she did. I mean,
that is not a lie. Whenshe was young, she lived on
a Christmas tree farm. She didnot mention. It was a fifteen acre
farm run as a hobby by herfather was a Merrill Lynch financial advisor.
Yeah, yeah, he's a veryand by the way, so a buddy
of mine works for Merrill Lynch anddude, he's this guy. Taylor's dad

(01:39:47):
is a very very successful before hehad Taylor as a client, but a
very very successful financial advisor. Thisfifteen acre farm, again, was a
hobby, a hobby own that Taylord funded her career. Nobody would sign
her and so her dad created alabel to put her on it. And
it's a perfect storm. They have, Yeah, all the financial knowing and

(01:40:11):
her mom worked in marketing, soyeah, she's Yeah, she's the perfect
store. I grew up in thewilderness because my dad like went me on,
like took me on these fancy huntingtrips as a kid. Right,
I grew up hunting bears? Wasit not labeled the farm? Grew up
on a farm. She spent sometime in a farm that her dad had
as a passion project. Because youcould afford to be Richie Richardson. Yeah,

(01:40:35):
but it wasn't a lot of taperbills. I think they had somebody
handling all the fun. They mighthave paid their bills at the kitchen table.
I hate, I hate when billssit on a kitchen table. Taylor
Swift saying it's not a Yeah,it's not a storage area. Yeah,
Jersey. All right, So celebritieswho tried to fake growing a poor kid.

(01:40:56):
Rock is on the list. Yeah. He has always said straight out
the trailer and some of his songs, Well, his parents were rich.
He grew up on an estate insuburban Michigan that had a guesthouse in apple
orchard stables and some private tennis courts. Hello, oh my god, you
live in the dream they trailer.I think maybe his last name is Bob

(01:41:20):
Ritchie. And that's why probably.Yeah. Yeah, they had a horse
trailer, they had horse stables.They're moving their horses from place to place.
So but that was after they finishedplaying tennis in their private courts tennis
courts plural oy Yeah. Yeah,So just a couple of fakers that there
was that documentary identic with Beckham andSpice whatever she is, and she claims

(01:41:46):
she was Veronica Spice exactly, andthen David Beckham made her say that she
grew up with her dad driving arolls, but she was trying to make
it seem like they were they werethe working class. Also, Emma Stone,
she grew up on like a hugeproperty a part of a golf course

(01:42:06):
where her parents like own the golfcourse. Her whole gangster career. Yeah,
well she was in the movie.She was in the movie Poor Things,
Thank You. Oh yeah, youcan't be a mega rich rich top.
For the birthdays, it's shiver,we're gonna sits and you know we

(01:42:30):
don't get all right. Starting withthe celebrities, Happy birthday to Kevin Bacon
who is sixty six years old.Today. You got beck who is fifty
four, Sophia Bush, she's fortytwo years old. First of all,
Bush, she's on Chicago pe D. Of course, everybody knows that she
played Brooke Davis on One Tree Hill. I mean everybody. V O.

(01:42:56):
I can never pronounce his last name, Melo ventis Jack vent Emilia. I
think, yeah, he was Jackthe dead husband father on This is Us.
I can never say his Gilmore girlsthank you. Yeah, yeah,
everybody knows that it is Jeffrey Tambor'sbirthday. George Blooth Senior and Oscar Bluth

(01:43:19):
on Arrested Development Awesome. He alsowon a bunch of praise and awards,
an Emmy, a Golden Globe forplaying a tranny on that Amazon show Transparent.
I was born Jeffrey Tambore is eightyyears old today, and Angelica Houston,
the actress and director who is seventythree, Billy Crude still Waters Leader,
Russell Hammond and almost Famous I Ama Golden God also won an Emmy

(01:43:45):
for his work on the Morning Showon That's on Apple TV. Right,
Yes, he's fifty six years old. And you got Jaden Smith Will and
Jada's son, who I'm sure isa nice kid. Just be sure to
keep his mom's name out to mouth, you know, he's a twenty six
today and your porno birthday is TylerNixon and today's birthday. Boy has done
more pitching than the door to doorsalesman. Get this, you guys,

(01:44:09):
two thousand, one hundred and eightysix fine films every time he hooks up.
He was in a Mighty muffin PounderRangers. He was also in the
Horror of Wall Street. It's beenan exit only until today, volume one.

(01:44:30):
He was in the Cunnlingus Continuum Volumeone, also Exorcism by Multiple Orgasms
and who can forget his unforgettable roleGregan Anal. I've learned to like it.
Yeah, Yeah, that's Tyler Nixon, who's thirty seven years old today,
and that is your porno birthday,your celebrity birthdays. And that's ladies

(01:44:53):
and gentlemen, a little bit ofwhat's happening this morning, and people who
are trying to fake their image growingup poor you were on. Yeah,
I is the Woody Show. Phonesare open eight seven seven forty four.
Woody said, it's up with thetext over to two two nine eight seven.
We'll be right back. We'll beback probably maybe we'll consider the matter

(01:45:14):
wail the angles and get back toyou the Woody Show boiler wouldn't approve the
Woody Show. All right, Wellthat's gonna do it for Monday morning,
Okay, get first day back afterthe holiday weekend. Yeah, we survived.
It's all good. Weekend cheers andjeers. Also the trending news headlines

(01:45:35):
Woody Show, cart and archs,So if you missed the carton arch,
you can find that on today's podcastas well. Just hit up Thewoodyshow dot
com the podcast platform of your choiceyou could find us there. Subscribe to
the podcast coming up for you tomorrow. Uh, it's another round of the
HGTV Losers of house Hunters. Yees. Finally, Yeah, so you know,

(01:45:59):
Greg and I love HGTV house Huntersin particular. Every once in a
while you get a real dope onthere, right, somebody who's just thoroughly
annoying looking for something so dumb.Yeah, exactly. So we're gonna have
that. Sea Bass will have hislocal news story of the day, and
anything you want to leave for us, you can do on the after hours
voicemail that numbers eight seven seven fortyfour Woody same number you call in during

(01:46:21):
the show, but after ten amit comes the after hours voicemail for whatever
you got listen to the podcast.Want to share your story or your thoughts,
you could do that eight seven sevenforty four, Woodie, uh,
Menace, Sea Bass, Sammy,anything you like to add, No Greg
Gory parting words of wisdom please Yeah, as a courtesy to others, just

(01:46:41):
remember that public bathrooms are not Internetcafes. Ish and split. Yeah,
I know, right A. Peoplespend so much time in there. Yeah,
like what are you doing? Whatare you doing? Yeah, that's
more of a public service announcement thanhis words wisdom. Well yeah, true,
but oh my gosh, I justhad to get that out because I
see it daily. Yep, it'sannoying. Yeah, all right, thank

(01:47:04):
you very much. Greg Gory wouldthank you so much for giving the What
Show some of your valuable time thismorning. You know, we love it,
appreciate you for that. The restof you guys can suck it.
We'll catch you back here on Tuesday. Have a great day. Smdam I
quit this bitch.