Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups
A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 34 years experience working with those surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
Episodes
March 21, 2024 • 54 mins
BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking Discards
The quiet Borderline subtype known and described as the Discouraged Borderline. A look at this presentation and manifestation of Borderline Personality Disorder.
The specific Quiet BPD subtype traits are discussed as well as the reasons why a Discouraged Borderline's shocking discard is one of the most painful relationship endings. Cold discards by the Quiet Borderli...
The quiet Borderline subtype known and described as the Discouraged Borderline. A look at this presentation and manifestation of Borderline Personality Disorder.
The specific Quiet BPD subtype traits are discussed as well as the reasons why a Discouraged Borderline's shocking discard is one of the most painful relationship endings. Cold discards by the Quiet Borderli...
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March 19, 2024 • 60 mins
Salacious BPD Women Are Not Dreams But Relationship Nightmares
Every person with Borderline Personality, their lives matter and are worth living. But in response to an objectified erroneous and pathological veneration of Borderline Women that goes way too far via his perspective as a malignant narcissist. Some of his video "Borderline's Life is Worth Living Technicolor Adventure" is in some aspects very dark and not only misses the ...
Every person with Borderline Personality, their lives matter and are worth living. But in response to an objectified erroneous and pathological veneration of Borderline Women that goes way too far via his perspective as a malignant narcissist. Some of his video "Borderline's Life is Worth Living Technicolor Adventure" is in some aspects very dark and not only misses the ...
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March 10, 2024 • 37 mins
BPD Breakup Obsession & Codependent Excuses Waiting to Be Rescued By Who?
Please note: At two points in this (passionate) episode I mention being very fed up with many of the
excuses like the commenter I respond to in this episode. I am referring to being fed up with
people on social media, denying their Codependency and making excuses - I am very patient and
not ever fed up at all with working with any singal client. In the video...
Please note: At two points in this (passionate) episode I mention being very fed up with many of the
excuses like the commenter I respond to in this episode. I am referring to being fed up with
people on social media, denying their Codependency and making excuses - I am very patient and
not ever fed up at all with working with any singal client. In the video...
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March 10, 2024 • 21 mins
Borderlines Can’t Find Love Or Love You From Your Perspective - Borderlines Don't Take Your Identity or Self or Mental Image and then find love from that perspective
Borderlines can't find love or feel love for you from your perspective, or mental image or somehow by "taking" your identity or self from you to see your perspective at all. Too many people with Codependency believe this because you really want to believe who you though...
Borderlines can't find love or feel love for you from your perspective, or mental image or somehow by "taking" your identity or self from you to see your perspective at all. Too many people with Codependency believe this because you really want to believe who you though...
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March 3, 2024 • 40 mins
Petulant BPD Rage Uses You and The Why Insight of a Recovered Borderline
Petulant Borderlines use you when they rage at you. A borderline rage does make them feel better at your expense. They are often not aware of what is happening for your or how you are affected by them. Self-awareness deficits in untreated BPD mean that Borderlines are too engulfed and absorbed with their own dysregulated feelings to even be aware of how they ar...
Petulant Borderlines use you when they rage at you. A borderline rage does make them feel better at your expense. They are often not aware of what is happening for your or how you are affected by them. Self-awareness deficits in untreated BPD mean that Borderlines are too engulfed and absorbed with their own dysregulated feelings to even be aware of how they ar...
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February 12, 2024 • 34 mins
Borderline Splitting Cycles Mixed With Codependent Denial
Borderline splitting cycles mixed with Codependent denial fuel the betrayal bonded dynamics of cognitive dissoncance, falsely believing and defending that a BPD partner or BPD Ex "loves" you. Denial of one's own Codependency is often a conscious and unconscious driver of people continuing to pursue the fantasy of BPD Relationship "love". Untreated people with Borderline Pers...
Borderline splitting cycles mixed with Codependent denial fuel the betrayal bonded dynamics of cognitive dissoncance, falsely believing and defending that a BPD partner or BPD Ex "loves" you. Denial of one's own Codependency is often a conscious and unconscious driver of people continuing to pursue the fantasy of BPD Relationship "love". Untreated people with Borderline Pers...
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February 11, 2024 • 41 mins
Recontacting Your BPD Ex (Reverse Hoovering) Increases Your Suffering
Recontacting your BPD Ex is reverse hoovering and it increases Codependents suffering. Many people with Codependency are still in denial of the reverse hoovering responsibility that they have. No matter how the relationship "ended" or if it is on/off and/or being recycle, recontacting a borderline or still in communication increases the suffering of people with C...
Recontacting your BPD Ex is reverse hoovering and it increases Codependents suffering. Many people with Codependency are still in denial of the reverse hoovering responsibility that they have. No matter how the relationship "ended" or if it is on/off and/or being recycle, recontacting a borderline or still in communication increases the suffering of people with C...
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February 8, 2024 • 29 mins
Borderlines Don't Value You in Dating or Relationships
Borderlines don't value you in dating or relationships because they are insatiable and have failed at "othering". People with BPD are very (lack of) self-focused and emotionally only aware of their feelings, wants that they mix up with needs. Borderlines don't value you because emotionally they are actually not relating to you, for who you really are.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
Borderlines don't value you in dating or relationships because they are insatiable and have failed at "othering". People with BPD are very (lack of) self-focused and emotionally only aware of their feelings, wants that they mix up with needs. Borderlines don't value you because emotionally they are actually not relating to you, for who you really are.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
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February 4, 2024 • 30 mins
Loving a Borderline & Why You Will Never Know Who He or She Is or Was
Loving a borderline woman or man it is a high percentage of people in all relationship types who really will never know who that person with BPD in your life, or was in your life, is. Loving a borderline is loving someone you really don't know. It's loving someone for who you thought they were in the beginning and for who you still wish and/or have false hope ...
Loving a borderline woman or man it is a high percentage of people in all relationship types who really will never know who that person with BPD in your life, or was in your life, is. Loving a borderline is loving someone you really don't know. It's loving someone for who you thought they were in the beginning and for who you still wish and/or have false hope ...
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January 30, 2024 • 27 mins
BPD Discard & Dangle Fantasy Facade At The End Like the Beginning
Many with BPD when they discard you with or without actually saying so dangle the fantasy facade at the end like they did in the beginning. They want you to believe they are going to be the person you thought they were in the beginning, at the end, as they monkey-branch or quickly go to the next person. This is (often unconscious) manipulation to leave you feeling...
Many with BPD when they discard you with or without actually saying so dangle the fantasy facade at the end like they did in the beginning. They want you to believe they are going to be the person you thought they were in the beginning, at the end, as they monkey-branch or quickly go to the next person. This is (often unconscious) manipulation to leave you feeling...
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January 30, 2024 • 44 mins
BPD Breakup & Codependent Woundedness Vulnerability is a Strength After Healing
After a BPD Breakup, ghosting and/or discard getting into your own healing and recovery journey focusing on yourself - not the Borderline Ex - healing your Codependency and becoming a bounded, empowered, independent person means your vulnerability will be a strength, not a weakness.
In response to a comment on a shote I did about my empowered understa...
After a BPD Breakup, ghosting and/or discard getting into your own healing and recovery journey focusing on yourself - not the Borderline Ex - healing your Codependency and becoming a bounded, empowered, independent person means your vulnerability will be a strength, not a weakness.
In response to a comment on a shote I did about my empowered understa...
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January 6, 2024 • 14 mins
Responding to Borderline Ex Only When Contacted or Hoovered is NOT No Contact
Are you an Ex of someone suspected of having BPD or someone you know has BPD? Whether you know the relationship is over or not are you trying to not initiate contact first? Are you a stance now of only responding to contact (hoovers) from your Ex and thinking that means you have gone *no contact*?
You are not in full no contact if your Ex with BPD can conta...
Are you an Ex of someone suspected of having BPD or someone you know has BPD? Whether you know the relationship is over or not are you trying to not initiate contact first? Are you a stance now of only responding to contact (hoovers) from your Ex and thinking that means you have gone *no contact*?
You are not in full no contact if your Ex with BPD can conta...
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December 26, 2023 • 15 mins
BPD Deceptive Hoovers & BPD Ex's Self Deceptive Reverse Hoovers
BPD deceptive hoovers are what hoovers are, deceptive. BPD Ex's reverse hoovers are often self-deceptive. BPD hoovers or Ex's reverse hoovers only lead to more of the same - try again, nothing changes, no re-idealization or honeymoon phase and as the BPD betrayal bond cycles repeat over and over you keep end up being in that same stuck "want/need my BPD Ex back" ago...
BPD deceptive hoovers are what hoovers are, deceptive. BPD Ex's reverse hoovers are often self-deceptive. BPD hoovers or Ex's reverse hoovers only lead to more of the same - try again, nothing changes, no re-idealization or honeymoon phase and as the BPD betrayal bond cycles repeat over and over you keep end up being in that same stuck "want/need my BPD Ex back" ago...
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December 11, 2023 • 36 mins
Riding the Chaotic Rollercoaster of a Borderline? Core Secret Understanding You Need To Know
If you are riding the chaotic rollercoaster of a Borderline, there is a secret understanding that you need to know. Many resist this understanding that is your own healthy way forward toward no contact and finding your own healing, closure and the reasons and lessons of what you have gone through and why you are finding it so incredibly dif...
If you are riding the chaotic rollercoaster of a Borderline, there is a secret understanding that you need to know. Many resist this understanding that is your own healthy way forward toward no contact and finding your own healing, closure and the reasons and lessons of what you have gone through and why you are finding it so incredibly dif...
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November 11, 2023 • 48 mins
Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or Narcissist
Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or a Narcissist that every Codependent partner, on/off relationship recycling, or Ex of a person with BPD or NPD needs to know. People in relationships with a person with BPD or NPD are in trauma bonded relationships that are not healthy. People in these relationships do have Codependency, to one degree o...
Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or a Narcissist that every Codependent partner, on/off relationship recycling, or Ex of a person with BPD or NPD needs to know. People in relationships with a person with BPD or NPD are in trauma bonded relationships that are not healthy. People in these relationships do have Codependency, to one degree o...
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November 4, 2023 • 19 mins
The Borderline Set Up Hoover
The Borderline set up hoover is unlike any other type or generic "average" hoover.
The Borderline set up hoover is one that is your BPD Ex plotting to punish you
(especially the female borderline vs the male BPD Ex) by lying false accusations
to get you arrested and put in jail. This is as serious as your BPD Ex can ever
get. Not all with BPD will do this set up hoover but many more women with BPD are
do...
The Borderline set up hoover is unlike any other type or generic "average" hoover.
The Borderline set up hoover is one that is your BPD Ex plotting to punish you
(especially the female borderline vs the male BPD Ex) by lying false accusations
to get you arrested and put in jail. This is as serious as your BPD Ex can ever
get. Not all with BPD will do this set up hoover but many more women with BPD are
do...
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October 30, 2023 • 45 mins
LIMERENCE vs LOVE Obsessing on An Unavailable BPD Ex - Stop Relationship Recycling Go No Contact
A lot of people who can't stop BPD Relationship Recycling, ruminating about the
BPD when you are their Ex have Limerence as well as Codependency. In this episode
I explain the 3 Main stages of Limerence. The differences between Limerence nad Love.
I also breakdown the 3 stages of Limerence and the negative impacts of Limerence and
why going...
A lot of people who can't stop BPD Relationship Recycling, ruminating about the
BPD when you are their Ex have Limerence as well as Codependency. In this episode
I explain the 3 Main stages of Limerence. The differences between Limerence nad Love.
I also breakdown the 3 stages of Limerence and the negative impacts of Limerence and
why going...
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October 9, 2023 • 27 mins
Why Don't Borderlines Just Get It?
Why don't borderlines just get it, how to have their own boundaries and understand their feelings even with iniial therapy can't they just get it? Are you falesly hopingwomeone in your life with untreated BPD just get it? What is it that you might not be getting? What do you still need to get? That you still need to undersand about BPD and your relationship recycling?
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
Why don't borderlines just get it, how to have their own boundaries and understand their feelings even with iniial therapy can't they just get it? Are you falesly hopingwomeone in your life with untreated BPD just get it? What is it that you might not be getting? What do you still need to get? That you still need to undersand about BPD and your relationship recycling?
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
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September 25, 2023 • 33 mins
To Survive a BPD Breakup First Stop Relationship Recycling
So many people are so stuck in the betrayal bonds that play
out Codependent repetition compusions cycles in relationships
with people with Borderline Personality Disorder to a point even
way beyond self-abandonment, self-sacrifice, and losing yourself
that emotionally it feels impossible to live with the Borderline
or without the Borderline. Where do exists in that when there's
n...
So many people are so stuck in the betrayal bonds that play
out Codependent repetition compusions cycles in relationships
with people with Borderline Personality Disorder to a point even
way beyond self-abandonment, self-sacrifice, and losing yourself
that emotionally it feels impossible to live with the Borderline
or without the Borderline. Where do exists in that when there's
n...
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September 21, 2023 • 13 mins
BPD Silent Treatment vs BPD Ghosting
A commenter on my Youtube channel asked if BPD silent treatment is the same as BPD ghosting or
similar or are they different. Great question. For some people your person with (most often quiet)
BPD may well have silent treatment patterns and this is the best way you can ascertain the difference
between the silent treatment and BPD ghosting. I also talk about the internal differences in what's
hap...
A commenter on my Youtube channel asked if BPD silent treatment is the same as BPD ghosting or
similar or are they different. Great question. For some people your person with (most often quiet)
BPD may well have silent treatment patterns and this is the best way you can ascertain the difference
between the silent treatment and BPD ghosting. I also talk about the internal differences in what's
hap...
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