Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast

We’re doing it, folks. It’s a 3-episode month and we’ve almost certainly made a mistake by going with The Virgin Spring, Last House on the Left, and Last House on the Left. O cruel world with such people in it! Here, we review the classic Swedish masterpiece about a Swedish lord, his Swedish daughter, their Swedish family, some Swedish pagans, and a trio of Swedish brothers. What kind of light-hearted hijinks will they get up to? F...

Get your dollar-store, off-brand tissues ready, because this one’s a tear-jerker! Rial and Bol are refugees of the Sudanese Civil War, trying to create a new life for themselves in the land of opportunity: slummy ol’ England! To start over, they’ll have to endure fairly mild (by American standards) interpersonal racism, run-down living conditions, intense psychological trauma, ghosts, and an evil entity. Get ready for a wild one, f...

Add this one to your watchlist of remakes that may be better than the sequel, and definitely among to top of any list of high-quality reboots. Clive Barker’s non-Hellraiser franchise is brought back around to no longer focus on the plight of white women in this stunning, complex, and challenging reframing of the classic.

And here are some links to the figures discussed in the closing credits. The Lynching of Anthony Crawford: https...

Be the food you want to eat! The Memento guy, the Trainspotting guy, the principle from Ferris Bueller, and a celebrity’s husband star in this off-kilter delight that dares to ask the question: what if Dances with Wolves was a wendigo movie lightly sprinkled with a Mel Brooksian soundtrack? Turns out, you might get something like this. Show up for what was obviously Robert Carlyle’s inspiration for Rumpelstiltskin, stay for the wei...

Something about death’s design, a list, this time it happens backwards… who knows. Welcome to 2024, Loathsome Things style! It’s all epic action-disaster stunt sequences between bouts of really depressingly bad line delivery. Start the year off with the best horror movie podcast for people that are tired of all the other horror movie podcasts as we watch a movie that one podcaster described as “I Know What You Did Last Destination!...

Somewhere in the Finnish reindeer wilderness, there is a mountain that is secretly the gigantic sacred grave of MFing Santa Claus. In this episode of Loathsome Things, you’ll hear us review the actions taken by a squad of rugged snow-daddies who, perhaps, receive a bit too much focus on whether or not they have sufficiently spanked their sons. What’s more, we’ll reveal to answers to all things and we detail their adventures,includi...

Content Warning: suicide and self harm

You are a mountain and this is the first part of Perry Blackshear’s Monster Trilogy sees childhood chums Wyatt and Christian reunited as alcoholic adults who’ve suffered failed relationships and mental and emotional disturbances. Christian’s self-help iPod has seen him get a great job at Behemoth, where he’s romantically pursuing his badass boss, Mara. Meanwhile, Wyatt is suffering from severe...

From the director who brought us some actually good episodes of Star Trek later in his career, this movie… it’s terrible. Bad jokes, unexciting nudity from Rebecca Balding, and one of the worst movie monsters you’ll ever see. You know that uncle or cousin of yours, the one that puts off an icky vibe? This is probably one of their favorite movies. So, skip the flick and just enjoy our re-telling of the story that is the movie The Bo...

Content Warning: violence against children and by children is depicted in this film, as is violence against and by animals. This includes a scene in which an animal commits violence against a child.

God is dead, welcome to beautiful Argentina! This time we reviewed a demonic possession apocalypse movie that absolutely slams. Put away your flashlights, your gunpowder, and your fear of death, because they won’t help you here! That’s ...

Content Warning: self harm

Australian youths supplement their substance abuse with a fun demonic possession game. It the story secretly about substance abuse? Mental illness? Grief? Loss? White people? You tell us after listening to this podcast about horror movies. A podcast where we summarize the plot of a horror movie at you so you can decide whether or not you want to watch the movie after you find out everything about it. Wait...

An Etsy girl makes a go of living her best life in her childhood home in a town full of people who hate for something that she did in her childhood. Also, there’s aliens and almost zero dialogue. Will it be good? Pack yourself up a pic-a-nic basket and head on out to a loved-one’s grave and plot your sorry ass in that ancestral grass to listen to this fortnight’s episode of Loathsome Things: a podcast about scary movies where we te...

Content Warning: A smidge of animal cruelty is depicted in this movie, which we describe and may/may not do vocal sound effects for… John and Josh strapped microphones to the inside of their mouths for an entire day to bring you their first full-fledged found footage film review! This little gem blends found footage with possession/exorcism, folk horror, and [spoiler]. What a cool combination! A priest guy and a professional gadg...

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. What else is there to say? Content Warning: this film contains nearly as much deeply disturbing gruesome topic matter as it does wildly offensive ableism. And since it’s in the movie, it is also in the words we speak. Join us as we revel in the just amazingness that is, as one man was mis-quoted as putting it, “the most upsetting movie I didn’t hate.” It is a masterpiece and it is deeply troubling. ...

Do you ever think about the town you live in? Did your ancestors live there? What did they do when they lived there? Were they bad to other people, maybe women or indigenous populations? Do you ever wonder if you are them? Has a doctor ever made you feel like you’re a buckle-hatted pilgrim wielding a knife of revelation while inducing seizures in your chaw-addled brain? Well, then you may be a Pendleton, of the Devonsville Pendlet...

Did you know that when you forget your dreams, they get mad at you? It doesn’t matter if those are dreams of attractive young women in thin gauze, skinless bears coming for you in the closet, fake little brothers with bulgy eyes, or janitors with prosthetic limbs that fall right off. You see, when you go beyond dream’s door, the hatred doesn’t discriminate. Maybe it’s a fleshy tooth-book chomping your foot, maybe it’s a balloon tha...

We reviewed a classic and scared John as a child and confused Josh as an adult. Imagine The Goonies, but with big naked California tits, fountains of blood, and the childhood drama of having everyone you love die. There, that’s Phantasm. Is it as simple as that? No! It’s much more confusing! Phantasm features multiple allusions to Dune, some strange overlap with Star Wars, and manages to be a strikingly singular piece of storytelli...

In 1990, first-time director Francis Teri pulled together a tiny budget, a team of mostly non-actors, and some really cool practical effects to make an amazingly tasteless, uncomfortably semi-humorous, and entirely baffling horror movie about a young woman receiving an abortion against her will and her aborted fetus becoming one of the most mind-bogglingly powerful horror movie monsters of all time. That’s right, it’s an abortion m...