OUTWEIGH: Do you find yourself trapped in a cycle of labeling everything as "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong," especially when it comes to food and your body?
Join us for the fourth episode of our series 5 Signs Your Food Struggles Actually Have NOTHING To Do With Food, where we tackle the pervasive mindset of black-and-white thinking.
We'll explore how this rigid mentality permeates every aspect of your life, fostering feelings of guilt, shame, and restriction. Tune in as we uncover the detrimental effects of this binary, all-or-nothing approach and provide strategies to embrace a more nuanced and balanced perspective.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out way if you feel it,
(00:24):
but your hands in the air, She'll some love to
the h I get there. Take you one day, Anita,
did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh Amy here and I've got Land by
my side. We are working through a five part series
called five Signs Your food struggles actually have nothing to
do with food, and we are on sign number four,
week number four. So last Saturday was three, the one
before that was two, and the Saturday before that was
signed number one. If you miss them, go back and listen.
(00:56):
But sign number four. I love Signed number four that
your food struggles actually have nothing to do with food
because it's a black and white thinking and there are
so many things in my life where I was black
and white, and I love living in the gray and
in fact, when Lisa Hame and I started Outweigh, we
were covering the gray area. And our tagline is a
(01:17):
life without disordered eating outweighs everything, and we wanted to
talk about the gray area that not a lot of
people were talking about at the time. And this was
a couple of years ago, and our first piece of
artwork was black and white. Yep, we took black and
white photos and then we made the whole thing kind
of gray. And I love living in the gray. It's
(01:37):
a really good place to live.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Yeah, especially like when you're talking about the extremism that
comes up, you know, And so the sign and symptom
to kind of look out for is if you notice
yourself saying words like good, bad, right, wrong, should, shouldn't healthy, unhealthy,
you know, supposed to, not supposed to, shouldn't have this,
should have this, all of those things.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
And it's not just food, right.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
It could be your it could be movements, it could
be you know, habits. I don't know, but there's an
extremism that we want to really get intentional about. You know,
we talked about this last week as well, and as
you're learning, there's so much crossover for all of these
but it's that black or white, all or nothing, but
then always never as well or like you know, I'm
never going to do this, or I'm always going to
(02:21):
do this. And so again, if the first thing that
comes to your mind is food, like maybe it applies
more for food, but this is for everything. And so
when I say, like, food is not the problem, this
is where again we're just getting really nitty gritty in
these distinctions. This is a languaging thing, right, this is
the way. And remember our thoughts create everything, right, and
so how you believe about food? And I'm going to
(02:44):
totally endorse the episodes that we did a couple weeks
ago where if the alternative to not being on something.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Scares you, let's talk about that, because that was the
case for me.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
It's like, wait a minute, if I'm not using this
language right, if I'm not using terms like good, bad, right, wrong,
should shouldn't help the unhealthy, you know.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
And then it comes down.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
To like, you know, carbs are good or bad, fats
are good or bad, and we become carb phobic, fat phobic,
we become food phobic. Food becomes a fear, right, Like
I have a client who shared she's like, I used
to be afraid of any food, whether it was celery
or a cookie. Like it doesn't just mean these you know,
processed foods or whatever, and then it's you know, my
body looks good or my body looks bad.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
And that's the PG.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Thirteen version, right, if you want to hear about the
nitty gritty of like, what's the alternative to the black
and white thinking? If not being in the black and
white scares the living daylights out of you like it
did for me and like it does for so many
of my clients, because we think, like if I'm not
thinking this, I'm going to go off the deep end,
because really it's.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
A false sense of control.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
We think we're in control, yet ironically the more we
try to control it, the more out of control we feel.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
It's a fake sense of control.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Right, So definitely, if you want to hear, there's an
entire five step process I teach you to get into
the nitty gritty of that. It was actually a two
part episode before this series. But that being said, really
getting in your mind's eye about noticing and becoming aware
of the good, bad, the right, wrong, the should, shouldn't.
And then the first step is honestly awareness and I
know that's not sexy, right. We want to have a replacement,
(04:08):
and so that's why I said, check out that other episode.
But part of it is just noticing that, let's just
say metaphorically, you've learned how to speak Spanish, and that
we'll call the diet mentality Spanish. Right, the good bad,
the carbs are good, fats are bad. Whatever it is, right,
and probably the opposite.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Right.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
But if you want to go think a different way
about food, you have to learn a new language, right,
you have to learn the language of freedom. But again
without going over to that other side where you feel
out of control. And so what happens, and this is
unconscious and subconscious, and that's why we want to talk
about it so that it becomes conscious. Is we think
that if we're not on something, we're going to go
(04:45):
off the deep end and eat everything in sight, gain
a bunch of weight.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Fill in the blank.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
And for some people, intuitive eating and mindful eating works,
but for a lot of us it really fell short
because it's like, wait a minute, my ticker's broken.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
That's what I thought about myself. I'm like, this isn't
a hunger scale issue.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I'm not hungry when I'm eating ninety percent of the
time or when I'm over eating ninety percent.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Of the time.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Right, So that's why this is the conversation that needs
to be had if like things like intuitive eating or
mindful eating never worked for you because your intuition made
you feel out of control. But what I'm not saying
is this, Okay, what I'm not saying is, right now,
if black, white, good, bad, all or nothing thinking is
your sense of control and the language that you're speaking.
(05:26):
I'm not saying like, take it away and don't replace
it with anything, because that's often what the kind of
intuitive language does, because it does replace it with like
a logic and reason based answer, when again, ninety percent
of our overeating isn't logic and reasonable.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
It's emotional, it's unconscious, it's subconscious.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Right, So what I'm not saying is just stop using black, white, good,
right wrong labels and don't replace it with a new
language that sets you up for freedom or teaches your
brain how to make better decisions around food that serve you.
So I'm not saying don't replace it. What I'm saying
is replace it with a new language, right, And that
that's where people fall short. They say, Okay, I'm going
on the whole non dieting or I'm ditching dieting, like
(06:05):
it's very in vogue, which I'm all for. But then again,
if you don't replace that way of thinking and teach
your brain like a new language, and it wouldn't serve
me to try to explain it in ten minutes, you know.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
But I did dedicate.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Two episodes to it a couple of weeks ago to
explain the intricacies of that. It's one of those things
you have to replace it with something or else your
brain is going to rely on what it knows, which
is that paradigm, which if you're anything like me, I
mean I started learning that language at seven eight years old.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Oh wow, then that's really hard to break.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Yeah, if you don't replace it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
And then the episodes before this series started is what
you're talking about, can walk through people how to replace
it exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
And today was really just about that awareness of the good, bad,
the right, wrong, the should shouldn't because what that is
again it looks like we have no willpower, but we're
setting ourselves up for failure because that whole paradigm, that
whole language is the problem.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Food's not the problem.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Your ability to not control yourself around the food is
not the problem.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
It's the language. It's the thing that causes that.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
And you know, last week we talked about the actual
planner program, right the week before that, we talked about
this idea that you've just lost trust in yourself. So
even if you had the perfect plan and program, you
don't trust yourself. And the week before that, it's that
open loop of like, Okay, I'm putting a band aid
on a bigger problem. And that's where this black and
white thinking. I purposely put it like downstream as signed
symptom number four, because we've got to become aware of
(07:23):
that bigger picture stuff before we just get into the language.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
You know, I talked.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
About that I had black and white thinking in other
areas too, and living in really gray. I think that
this can serve you in so many other ways, I know,
even as a refresher for me. I'm sitting here thinking
of a way I was with my kids this week
where I got very black and white about something that
I should have been more gray about.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Yeah, but it's because I was stuck.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I mean, that was my default, and I went there
and I didn't want to budge for whatever reason.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
For sure, he was a little hormonal, I feel not that.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
But at the same time, I think I have compassion
for myself total and knowing that that's okay. At least
I have that awareness right now that I did that,
and next time, I know that I can be a
little more gray with some of the stuff that we
were talking about, yeah, or.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Even just accurate, you know, like I caught myself last
week in my head. I was having an argument with
somebody in my head, and I heard myself say they
always do that, and then I was like, actually, that's
not true. This happened this one time, maybe twice, but
they don't always do that, so or like you never
do that for me or whatever. So we're even using
(08:33):
always a never to like accuse somebody of a pattern,
and it comes back to the whole data drama. Like
even saying that you always do that or I never
do that, it's drama. The data is, well, actually I
didn't do it this time, and yeah, I technically didn't
do it last time either, but like I did do
it that one time, so it's not an always never,
So it could even be like the gray, but also
the data like getting really like truthful about the reality
(08:55):
of the situation.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Thang, I just felt convicted about something else my head
of you know, a co parent got divorced last year,
and my ex husband can be very black and white
and more than me, Like, way, he's.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Always black and white. I'm never black and wh.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I did have that thought the other day when we
were having a conversation about something, and in my head,
I was thinking, Oh, he's always this way, He's always
black and white, when the truth is he has come
so far and worked so hard to not be that
way that of course it still pops up. And hello,
it's still popping up for me. But I literally just
(09:36):
said that in my mind about him when we were
on the phone about something, and I'm like, here we
go again. Of course he's always been this way, he's
always never going to change. Yeah, And when the data
is that there's actually so many examples I can think
of in the last six or seven months where I've
been taken aback by his grayness.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Absolutely. And that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
When you're convicted of something, it's just like an awareness
of like, oh, I'm out of alignment or whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
So I'm constantly convicting myself.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
And that's what I love about this work, is like
you can have an awareness of something that's not happening,
and when you relinquish shame about.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
It, it can just be data.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
So I love that you called that out where of
like I feel convicted because I'm raising my hand. I'm like,
I convict myself all the time because it is it's
you know, it's so much easier so than done. I
know it's easy to come on this podcast and listen
and be like, oh, that's so much easier than done.
It's a practice. It does take commitment. I talk about
the exact process of that in those episodes. But just again,
like you were, you know, you were just sharing an
exemplifying give yourself grace and when.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
You feel convicted, let it just be to anybody, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I know for me, I like, just let it be
a little nudge of like, Okay, there's something I want
to explore about and get curious.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
So I love that you just brought that up.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Well, there was an article the other day about words
you should never say to your partner, and it's like
you should.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
Never say these words.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
And it's like words like you never do this or
you always do that, but really you should never say that.
That's an appropriate time to use never, right, But yet
we are all likely guilty of saying that, especially in
the moment. But if you think about it, to maintain
a healthy relationship with your partner or people, or your
coworkers or people in your life, you shouldn't use that language.
Then you also shouldn't use that language to yourself.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
Yeah. Absolutely, what just came to my mind. And I
love this.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
You know, so many times I'll hear from my stressul
seating clients they're Likelyanne, everything I've done has had nothing
to do with food. Yet I don't have this food
struggle anymore. And that's what I really want everyone to understand.
I know, I know, when we're in the throes of
that food and body prison, we feel like we are
just a slave to it, like it owns us, it
controls us. But really, when you become a better version
(11:33):
of yourself and you focus on becoming mentally, emotionally, three
dimensionally healthy and happy first, and then bring that version
of you into your relationship with food, you'll find how
little your relationship or your struggles with food has to
do with food.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Food really is just the symptom.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
And that's what brings us back to you know, last
week we were talking about if you are spending un
goodly amounts of time thinking about food, thinking about your
body again.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
And I know it feels like a food problem, but
it's not.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
And you can go back and listen to those weeks
if you miss them. Next Saturday, we'll be signed five
and Lianne, where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (12:10):
Liann Ellington over on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
And if you want to turn off the part of
your brain obsessed with food, head on over to stressless
eeating dot com.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
And we will see you next Saturday.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Bye.
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out way if you feel it,
(00:24):
but your hands in the air, She'll some love to
the h I get there. Take you one day, Anita,
did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh Amy here and I've got Land by
my side. We are working through a five part series
called five Signs Your food struggles actually have nothing to
do with food, and we are on sign number four,
week number four. So last Saturday was three, the one
before that was two, and the Saturday before that was
signed number one. If you miss them, go back and listen.
(00:56):
But sign number four. I love Signed number four that
your food struggles actually have nothing to do with food
because it's a black and white thinking and there are
so many things in my life where I was black
and white, and I love living in the gray and
in fact, when Lisa Hame and I started Outweigh, we
were covering the gray area. And our tagline is a
(01:17):
life without disordered eating outweighs everything, and we wanted to
talk about the gray area that not a lot of
people were talking about at the time. And this was
a couple of years ago, and our first piece of
artwork was black and white. Yep, we took black and
white photos and then we made the whole thing kind
of gray. And I love living in the gray. It's
(01:37):
a really good place to live.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Yeah, especially like when you're talking about the extremism that
comes up, you know, And so the sign and symptom
to kind of look out for is if you notice
yourself saying words like good, bad, right, wrong, should, shouldn't healthy, unhealthy,
you know, supposed to, not supposed to, shouldn't have this,
should have this, all of those things.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
And it's not just food, right.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
It could be your it could be movements, it could
be you know, habits. I don't know, but there's an
extremism that we want to really get intentional about. You know,
we talked about this last week as well, and as
you're learning, there's so much crossover for all of these
but it's that black or white, all or nothing, but
then always never as well or like you know, I'm
never going to do this, or I'm always going to
(02:21):
do this. And so again, if the first thing that
comes to your mind is food, like maybe it applies
more for food, but this is for everything. And so
when I say, like, food is not the problem, this
is where again we're just getting really nitty gritty in
these distinctions. This is a languaging thing, right, this is
the way. And remember our thoughts create everything, right, and
so how you believe about food? And I'm going to
(02:44):
totally endorse the episodes that we did a couple weeks
ago where if the alternative to not being on something.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Scares you, let's talk about that, because that was the
case for me.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
It's like, wait a minute, if I'm not using this
language right, if I'm not using terms like good, bad, right, wrong,
should shouldn't help the unhealthy, you know.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
And then it comes down.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
To like, you know, carbs are good or bad, fats
are good or bad, and we become carb phobic, fat phobic,
we become food phobic. Food becomes a fear, right, Like
I have a client who shared she's like, I used
to be afraid of any food, whether it was celery
or a cookie. Like it doesn't just mean these you know,
processed foods or whatever, and then it's you know, my
body looks good or my body looks bad.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
And that's the PG.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Thirteen version, right, if you want to hear about the
nitty gritty of like, what's the alternative to the black
and white thinking? If not being in the black and
white scares the living daylights out of you like it
did for me and like it does for so many
of my clients, because we think, like if I'm not
thinking this, I'm going to go off the deep end,
because really it's.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
A false sense of control.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
We think we're in control, yet ironically the more we
try to control it, the more out of control we feel.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
It's a fake sense of control.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Right, So definitely, if you want to hear, there's an
entire five step process I teach you to get into
the nitty gritty of that. It was actually a two
part episode before this series. But that being said, really
getting in your mind's eye about noticing and becoming aware
of the good, bad, the right, wrong, the should, shouldn't.
And then the first step is honestly awareness and I
know that's not sexy, right. We want to have a replacement,
(04:08):
and so that's why I said, check out that other episode.
But part of it is just noticing that, let's just
say metaphorically, you've learned how to speak Spanish, and that
we'll call the diet mentality Spanish. Right, the good bad,
the carbs are good, fats are bad. Whatever it is, right,
and probably the opposite.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Right.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
But if you want to go think a different way
about food, you have to learn a new language, right,
you have to learn the language of freedom. But again
without going over to that other side where you feel
out of control. And so what happens, and this is
unconscious and subconscious, and that's why we want to talk
about it so that it becomes conscious. Is we think
that if we're not on something, we're going to go
(04:45):
off the deep end and eat everything in sight, gain
a bunch of weight.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Fill in the blank.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
And for some people, intuitive eating and mindful eating works,
but for a lot of us it really fell short
because it's like, wait a minute, my ticker's broken.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
That's what I thought about myself. I'm like, this isn't
a hunger scale issue.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I'm not hungry when I'm eating ninety percent of the
time or when I'm over eating ninety percent.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Of the time.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Right, So that's why this is the conversation that needs
to be had if like things like intuitive eating or
mindful eating never worked for you because your intuition made
you feel out of control. But what I'm not saying
is this, Okay, what I'm not saying is, right now,
if black, white, good, bad, all or nothing thinking is
your sense of control and the language that you're speaking.
(05:26):
I'm not saying like, take it away and don't replace
it with anything, because that's often what the kind of
intuitive language does, because it does replace it with like
a logic and reason based answer, when again, ninety percent
of our overeating isn't logic and reasonable.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
It's emotional, it's unconscious, it's subconscious.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Right, So what I'm not saying is just stop using black, white, good,
right wrong labels and don't replace it with a new
language that sets you up for freedom or teaches your
brain how to make better decisions around food that serve you.
So I'm not saying don't replace it. What I'm saying
is replace it with a new language, right, And that
that's where people fall short. They say, Okay, I'm going
on the whole non dieting or I'm ditching dieting, like
(06:05):
it's very in vogue, which I'm all for. But then again,
if you don't replace that way of thinking and teach
your brain like a new language, and it wouldn't serve
me to try to explain it in ten minutes, you know.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
But I did dedicate.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Two episodes to it a couple of weeks ago to
explain the intricacies of that. It's one of those things
you have to replace it with something or else your
brain is going to rely on what it knows, which
is that paradigm, which if you're anything like me, I
mean I started learning that language at seven eight years old.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
Oh wow, then that's really hard to break.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Yeah, if you don't replace it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
And then the episodes before this series started is what
you're talking about, can walk through people how to replace
it exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
And today was really just about that awareness of the good, bad,
the right, wrong, the should shouldn't because what that is
again it looks like we have no willpower, but we're
setting ourselves up for failure because that whole paradigm, that
whole language is the problem.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Food's not the problem.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Your ability to not control yourself around the food is
not the problem.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
It's the language. It's the thing that causes that.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
And you know, last week we talked about the actual
planner program, right the week before that, we talked about
this idea that you've just lost trust in yourself. So
even if you had the perfect plan and program, you
don't trust yourself. And the week before that, it's that
open loop of like, Okay, I'm putting a band aid
on a bigger problem. And that's where this black and
white thinking. I purposely put it like downstream as signed
symptom number four, because we've got to become aware of
(07:23):
that bigger picture stuff before we just get into the language.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
You know, I talked.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
About that I had black and white thinking in other
areas too, and living in really gray. I think that
this can serve you in so many other ways, I know,
even as a refresher for me. I'm sitting here thinking
of a way I was with my kids this week
where I got very black and white about something that
I should have been more gray about.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Yeah, but it's because I was stuck.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I mean, that was my default, and I went there
and I didn't want to budge for whatever reason.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
For sure, he was a little hormonal, I feel not that.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
But at the same time, I think I have compassion
for myself total and knowing that that's okay. At least
I have that awareness right now that I did that,
and next time, I know that I can be a
little more gray with some of the stuff that we
were talking about, yeah, or.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Even just accurate, you know, like I caught myself last
week in my head. I was having an argument with
somebody in my head, and I heard myself say they
always do that, and then I was like, actually, that's
not true. This happened this one time, maybe twice, but
they don't always do that, so or like you never
do that for me or whatever. So we're even using
(08:33):
always a never to like accuse somebody of a pattern,
and it comes back to the whole data drama. Like
even saying that you always do that or I never
do that, it's drama. The data is, well, actually I
didn't do it this time, and yeah, I technically didn't
do it last time either, but like I did do
it that one time, so it's not an always never,
So it could even be like the gray, but also
the data like getting really like truthful about the reality
(08:55):
of the situation.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Thang, I just felt convicted about something else my head
of you know, a co parent got divorced last year,
and my ex husband can be very black and white
and more than me, Like, way, he's.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Always black and white. I'm never black and wh.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I did have that thought the other day when we
were having a conversation about something, and in my head,
I was thinking, Oh, he's always this way, He's always
black and white, when the truth is he has come
so far and worked so hard to not be that
way that of course it still pops up. And hello,
it's still popping up for me. But I literally just
(09:36):
said that in my mind about him when we were
on the phone about something, and I'm like, here we
go again. Of course he's always been this way, he's
always never going to change. Yeah, And when the data
is that there's actually so many examples I can think
of in the last six or seven months where I've
been taken aback by his grayness.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Absolutely. And that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
When you're convicted of something, it's just like an awareness
of like, oh, I'm out of alignment or whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
So I'm constantly convicting myself.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
And that's what I love about this work, is like
you can have an awareness of something that's not happening,
and when you relinquish shame about.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
It, it can just be data.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
So I love that you called that out where of
like I feel convicted because I'm raising my hand. I'm like,
I convict myself all the time because it is it's
you know, it's so much easier so than done. I
know it's easy to come on this podcast and listen
and be like, oh, that's so much easier than done.
It's a practice. It does take commitment. I talk about
the exact process of that in those episodes. But just again,
like you were, you know, you were just sharing an
exemplifying give yourself grace and when.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
You feel convicted, let it just be to anybody, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I know for me, I like, just let it be
a little nudge of like, Okay, there's something I want
to explore about and get curious.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
So I love that you just brought that up.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Well, there was an article the other day about words
you should never say to your partner, and it's like
you should.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
Never say these words.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
And it's like words like you never do this or
you always do that, but really you should never say that.
That's an appropriate time to use never, right, But yet
we are all likely guilty of saying that, especially in
the moment. But if you think about it, to maintain
a healthy relationship with your partner or people, or your
coworkers or people in your life, you shouldn't use that language.
Then you also shouldn't use that language to yourself.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
Yeah. Absolutely, what just came to my mind. And I
love this.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
You know, so many times I'll hear from my stressul
seating clients they're Likelyanne, everything I've done has had nothing
to do with food. Yet I don't have this food
struggle anymore. And that's what I really want everyone to understand.
I know, I know, when we're in the throes of
that food and body prison, we feel like we are
just a slave to it, like it owns us, it
controls us. But really, when you become a better version
(11:33):
of yourself and you focus on becoming mentally, emotionally, three
dimensionally healthy and happy first, and then bring that version
of you into your relationship with food, you'll find how
little your relationship or your struggles with food has to
do with food.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Food really is just the symptom.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
And that's what brings us back to you know, last
week we were talking about if you are spending un
goodly amounts of time thinking about food, thinking about your
body again.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
And I know it feels like a food problem, but
it's not.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
And you can go back and listen to those weeks
if you miss them. Next Saturday, we'll be signed five
and Lianne, where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (12:10):
Liann Ellington over on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
And if you want to turn off the part of
your brain obsessed with food, head on over to stressless
eeating dot com.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
And we will see you next Saturday.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Bye.
4 Things with Amy Brown News
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Death, Sex & Money
Anna Sale explores the big questions and hard choices that are often left out of polite conversation.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.