OUTWEIGH: Ever find yourself stuck in a cycle of waiting for the other shoe to drop, even when you're doing everything "right"?
Join us for the fifth and final episode of our series 5 Signs Your Food Struggles Actually Have NOTHING To Do With Food, where we confront the pervasive fear of failure that lurks beneath the surface of your achievements.
We'll delve into the mindset of assuming failure from the get-go, and how it undermines your confidence and enjoyment of the present moment. Tune in as we unravel the root of this fear and provide practical tools to break free from its grip, allowing you to embrace success with open arms and a fearless spirit.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
And then we'll always out way if you feel it,
(00:24):
but yours are. She'll some love to the mood.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Take you one day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here and I'm with lee An.
We are working through a five part series, five signs
your food struggles actually have nothing to do with food,
and we have finally made it to sign number five
last Saturday was four, the one for that three, the
one for that two, the one for that was signed
number one.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
We made it so the final sign.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Yeah, we're actually really bridging the gap, closing the loop
because this really plays off really well, up the off
of the very first one that we talked about. You
know where subconsciously you know you haven't healed it. This
is really, you know, a sign or symptom that has
nothing to do with food. Is you know, if you're
doing everything air quotes right, like you're checking the boxes,
you're making the moves, but you're still kind of waiting
(01:15):
for the other shoe to drop, and there's this underlying
fear that it won't last. So we obviously covered like
all of the reasons that this could be. But the
thing I really want to get nitty gritty on this
on this topic today, is this idea of a programmed
mindset that feels it's like automatic failure, assuming automatic failure.
(01:36):
I'll get geeky, but not too geeky for just a second.
One of my favorite brain scientists, God rest his soul.
He died many moons ago. His work got really famous
in the thirties and forties. He is, I believe, the
father of the self image, Maxwell Maltz. He was a
plastic surgeon and he was doing the same type of
surgeries we're seeing today, rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, LiPo sectionon all
(01:58):
the things, and people come into his office. He'd hold
up the mirror at their you know, six week or
eight week check up, and they would still think that
their nose was bigger, or they'd think that their boobs
were smaller, or they'd think that there was fat there
that wasn't there. And that's when he realized like, wow,
their mental emotional self image didn't change to the extent
that their physical appearance did. Just to kind of close
(02:20):
the sloop, what he did is he basically put himself
out of business and he created these mental you know,
training exercises around you know, the self image, and when
new people came into this office, he'd say, Okay, this
is what you want. Go do these exercises for thirty days,
come back, and if you still want the surgery, I'll
give it to you half price. And he basically put
himself out of business and became this you know, self
(02:40):
image scientist instead of a plastic surgeon. Psycho Cybernetics is
his famous book. But anyways, all that's to say, one
of the things that he taught me, because he was
one of my first teachers and this brain science thing,
like you know, fifteen years ago. One of the things
that he taught me is this idea of our brain
can either become an automatic success mechanism or an automatic
(03:01):
failure mechanism. And so the automatic failure mechanism, which is
probably one that we know better right is the Okay,
this isn't going to work. I'm not gonna make it.
This isn't going to happen for me. Other people can
do it, but not me. It's just assuming failure. Oh
I'm going to start with this, but I'm gonna stop
it and again coming back to the other for signs
and symptoms that we talked about. We train this, we
fire and wire that experience. And it's not a nerds.
(03:23):
This is where it's like the nurture nature thing, like, oh,
she was just an she's a negative person. It's like, no,
I've trained my brain to assume failure is really what
it happens.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
It's it's a matter of repetitions.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Like neuroplasticity tells us that we can fire and wire
new patterns. We can create new you know, neural pathways
anytime we choose, but we need what I call air.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Attention, intention, and repetition.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Right, So, if you give that automatic assumption of failure
enough air attention, intention, and repetition, you're going to have
that as an automated kind of sequence in your brain.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
But then if you're not aware of it.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
You just assume that, oh that's just who I am,
right Versus, you can create an automatic success mechanism and
you turn your brain into an automatic success mechanism where
you assume success. Now, I don't mean fake it till
you make it. I don't mean, you know, turn the
negative into a positive. I don't mean you know, fake
positivity that you subconsciously don't believe. I mean micro steps
(04:14):
about your beliefs that you actually believe that can turn
your brain into a success mechanism. But also coming back
to what we said, I think it was the second
week when we talked about, like, you don't believe yourself
on your start because you've become kind of a, for
lack of better way of saying it, a not so
skilled promise maker and a not so skilled promise keeper.
That is part of reinforcing the automatic failure mechanism. So
(04:35):
there's multiple things at play here. But when you have
this beautiful recipe that works together, you can literally retrain
your brain to not just believe in the inevitability of
your success, but also like witness yourself showing up as
that version of yourself that assumes success. So, and I'm
not talking about law of attraction or any of that,
I'm just saying, like we've talked about this on acting
(04:56):
as if as well, our brain is either negatively anticipating
the future, or it's positively anticipating in the future. Negative anticipation, fear, worry, failure, dread,
all the things right, positive anticipation, hope, faith, certainty, you know,
just positive expectation. One of those two pathways are happening
(05:18):
either way, and if we're unconscious of them, the failure
one is going to happen. It's pretty much a given.
But when you become aware of it, you can train.
And again it's beyond the scope of this ten minute episode,
but you can absolutely train your brain to believe in
the inevitability of your success. But you've got to meet
yourself in your own doubt and not create these pie
(05:38):
in the sky beliefs. But little by little, in minimums,
not in maximums. With enough air, attention, intension, repetition, you
can literally tell your brain to become.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
An automatic success mechanism.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
So if there's goals that you're setting for yourself, and
this is where we want to be really good goal setters,
and because there's a skill set to that too, right,
but part of it is training your brain to work
in the direction and assume the direction of faith. And
that is a mindset, that's a belief that's a thinking thing.
And again it's the part that's not sexy. It's the
part that people skip. It's the part that people forego
(06:11):
and they focus on, you know, whatever it is they
focus on, and that stuff just follows them into the
next thing, the next diet, the next chapter, whatever, and
that's where not to go all doom and gloom. But
we get, you know, ten twenty thirty years down the
road and we're like, how did this happen?
Speaker 5 (06:25):
I'm still here?
Speaker 4 (06:26):
And it's because that automatic failure mechanism never got addressed.
Even if you are so prime and position for success
and you have an automatic failure mechanism, you're going to
assume failure and it's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
You mentioned acting as if, so I went back to
check the date on that, and that was a four
part series that we did on the four Things podcast,
which is this feed as well, depending on where you're listening,
but if you're on Outweigh just search forth Things with
Amy Brown and it was from last September. I think
it was like September fourth, and everything came out out
in the same day, but were four different episodes and
(07:04):
you can listen to them. But it was a really
great series on acting as If we did a courage
to listen to that.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
There's a cheat sheet that goes with it, if you
go to leonellington dot com slash Acting as If. We
went all out on that series. Like the it's very
robust like that series. I'm not trying to be you know,
crazier hyperbole, but like it could transform your life, that series.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
I truly believe it, like we put our all into it.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Acting as If. And I love the acronym for air.
Say it again. I keep having the word accountability in
my head, but I hold on, I got it, I
got it, I got it.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Okay, So it's it's repetition. That's the r now, my
friends lost stories.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
You just need more air.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I need more air and water.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
For sure, exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
But intention, yep, you got it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Repetition. Ah if I was taking a test right now,
I did attention, attention, intension, and repetition, yeah, got it.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Absolutely total side know, totally unrelated.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
My husband's father is a military man, a doctor now,
but grew up in the military. And so my husband
trained both of our dogs to respond to a tune
hut and they sit at attention and that's when they
get a treat. So my dogs are military dogs may
have a chaos shout out to you.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Now I won't forget attention. Are you going to be
like a tension yep in tension? Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
And repetition, Absolutely, attention, intension and repetition.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
So here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
If you are giving attention, intention, and repetition to assuming failure,
to assuming catastrophe, you know, to assuming just low level
disappointment like don't want to get my hopes up, you
are literally ingraining this automatic failure mechanism. And that's why
I always say the work I do in stressfuss seting it.
It's not sexy, I get it, But it's so sexy
(08:50):
when you witness yourself showing up as a version of
yourself that knows who she is, knows how to feel
responsible and not reactive, sits in the knowingness of who
she is, independent of her weight or what she ate
that day, but also feels like she's taken radical ownership
of her thoughts and in turn, her life and her
actions and her behaviors. Like to me, that's sexy, you know,
But that being said, you've got to take ownership of that.
(09:13):
That's why the automatic success brain versus the automatic failure brain.
The word automatic is a very important thing because your
brain will become automated in one direction either way. And
I'm sure if you're listening to this this, if this
feels convicting, just know that I love you, but I
also do want it to convict you a little bit,
(09:33):
just enough to raise your hand and say, you know what,
I don't. I don't want to have this automatic assumption
of failure anymore.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
I don't want to feel that way, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
And I think people kind of paint over it or
gloss over it and think like, oh, she's just pessimistic
or whatever, and it's like, no, but this could transform
your life if you take ownership of it. You know.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
I realized some of my anxiety back in the day,
which sometimes it will still happen this way, but it
was anticipatory anxiety.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
And I read this whole article I was talking about
how like eighty five percent in my case, I think
it would be higher of the thoughts I was having
of negative things we're never going to happen. So that's
a huge chunk of stuff that my brain was just
making up that I was sitting with and having all
this angst.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
About absolutely one of the very first things which we
taught it on Acting as If as well, The very
first thing I teach my clients is the distinction between
the data versus the drama. Because I'm a drama maker too.
I'm like raising my hand. You know, we are meaning
making machines. It's what we do, right. And then our
social brain, which is way you know, more active and
bigger in females than it is in male. So if
(10:37):
you've ever felt like, oh my gosh, I'm so much
more emotional or whatever than my male counterparts, you're right.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
It doesn't mean you're broken your brain.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
That part of your brain is bigger, it's more active,
it's looking for that kind of stuff. But that being said,
it's the kind of thing that we've got to take
ownership of because our brains will make meaning out of
anything if we don't really distinguish and almost like I
call it adulting, like I have to adult my brain
the data versus dramas me kind of like adulting myself
talk and my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Yep, what are the facts here?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Now?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
How you can go off?
Speaker 3 (11:07):
This is the facts, the data, the data. Yep, however
you want to say it, Yep, tomato, not to yeah, tomato.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
My good friend Kate in the UK, and she says
it in a really cool accent. She said, feelings are
not facts. But she says it in a really cool
British accent. Feelings are not facts. And I love my feelings.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I love them, but I cannot make major decisions by them, right,
They're great.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
We want to be aware of them, but we don't
want to rely on them for these logic and reason
and like almost like the business of our lives, like
feelings need to stay out of it, you know so.
And that's another crossover is being able to just like
kind of almost compartmentalize but in a really strategic way
that serves us while giving space, like being emotionally available
to yourself when the timing's right, you know, not when
you're about to sign on the metaphorical dotted line of
(11:54):
your life.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
You know.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
I was having a conversation with someone the other day
and mine was very things I was saying were emotionally
of it. And the person said to me, this isn't rational, right,
And I'm like, I know, So I was glad I
was aware of it.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I'm glad.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I was like, wait, what, No, everything I'm saying makes
perfect sense. At least I wasn't fighting to the death
for that or this. That was a hill I wasn't
going to die on totally. But I know there's been
times where I wasn't going to back down. But I
was thankful for that awareness, for sure. But I got
called out on it, and then I paused and I
was like, yeah, I know, yeah, you're totally right, this
is not rational, but I'm still going to say it
(12:31):
this way for at least five more minutes, right, Yeah,
you let me be totally.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
You know, my drama is going to come out when
I preface it by saying, Okay, I'm going to give
myself permission to not be rational or sound or logical,
but I just have to share this because sometimes we
do have to give ourselves that permission, you know. But again,
that's just when knowing what we need and being emotionally
available to ourselves to feel the suck and but not
sit in it and not let us take us down
a rabbit hole. And that's a whole other episode on
its own.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah, all right, well, let's not assume failure from the
get go.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Let's what if ever thing was going to go right?
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Or just give your air, attention, intention, and repetition to
creating an automatic success mechanism.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Yeah, your beautiful.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Brain, with that repetition, you will. That's what it takes.
It's a given.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
That's just science. And over, LeAnn, Where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Absolutely Leanne Ellington over on Instagram and head on over
to stress withtheting dot com if you want to learn
how to rewire your brain and turn off the pesky
part that it's obsessing over food or your body.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
I've walked you through it in some simple.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Steps and I am at Radio Amy on Socials and well,
that concludes this five part series, but we will be
back here next Saturday for more Outweak see then Bite
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
And then we'll always out way if you feel it,
(00:24):
but yours are. She'll some love to the mood.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Take you one day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here and I'm with lee An.
We are working through a five part series, five signs
your food struggles actually have nothing to do with food,
and we have finally made it to sign number five
last Saturday was four, the one for that three, the
one for that two, the one for that was signed
number one.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
We made it so the final sign.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Yeah, we're actually really bridging the gap, closing the loop
because this really plays off really well, up the off
of the very first one that we talked about. You
know where subconsciously you know you haven't healed it. This
is really, you know, a sign or symptom that has
nothing to do with food. Is you know, if you're
doing everything air quotes right, like you're checking the boxes,
you're making the moves, but you're still kind of waiting
(01:15):
for the other shoe to drop, and there's this underlying
fear that it won't last. So we obviously covered like
all of the reasons that this could be. But the
thing I really want to get nitty gritty on this
on this topic today, is this idea of a programmed
mindset that feels it's like automatic failure, assuming automatic failure.
(01:36):
I'll get geeky, but not too geeky for just a second.
One of my favorite brain scientists, God rest his soul.
He died many moons ago. His work got really famous
in the thirties and forties. He is, I believe, the
father of the self image, Maxwell Maltz. He was a
plastic surgeon and he was doing the same type of
surgeries we're seeing today, rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, LiPo sectionon all
(01:58):
the things, and people come into his office. He'd hold
up the mirror at their you know, six week or
eight week check up, and they would still think that
their nose was bigger, or they'd think that their boobs
were smaller, or they'd think that there was fat there
that wasn't there. And that's when he realized like, wow,
their mental emotional self image didn't change to the extent
that their physical appearance did. Just to kind of close
(02:20):
the sloop, what he did is he basically put himself
out of business and he created these mental you know,
training exercises around you know, the self image, and when
new people came into this office, he'd say, Okay, this
is what you want. Go do these exercises for thirty days,
come back, and if you still want the surgery, I'll
give it to you half price. And he basically put
himself out of business and became this you know, self
(02:40):
image scientist instead of a plastic surgeon. Psycho Cybernetics is
his famous book. But anyways, all that's to say, one
of the things that he taught me, because he was
one of my first teachers and this brain science thing,
like you know, fifteen years ago. One of the things
that he taught me is this idea of our brain
can either become an automatic success mechanism or an automatic
(03:01):
failure mechanism. And so the automatic failure mechanism, which is
probably one that we know better right is the Okay,
this isn't going to work. I'm not gonna make it.
This isn't going to happen for me. Other people can
do it, but not me. It's just assuming failure. Oh
I'm going to start with this, but I'm gonna stop
it and again coming back to the other for signs
and symptoms that we talked about. We train this, we
fire and wire that experience. And it's not a nerds.
(03:23):
This is where it's like the nurture nature thing, like, oh,
she was just an she's a negative person. It's like, no,
I've trained my brain to assume failure is really what
it happens.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
It's it's a matter of repetitions.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Like neuroplasticity tells us that we can fire and wire
new patterns. We can create new you know, neural pathways
anytime we choose, but we need what I call air.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Attention, intention, and repetition.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Right, So, if you give that automatic assumption of failure
enough air attention, intention, and repetition, you're going to have
that as an automated kind of sequence in your brain.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
But then if you're not aware of it.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
You just assume that, oh that's just who I am,
right Versus, you can create an automatic success mechanism and
you turn your brain into an automatic success mechanism where
you assume success. Now, I don't mean fake it till
you make it. I don't mean, you know, turn the
negative into a positive. I don't mean you know, fake
positivity that you subconsciously don't believe. I mean micro steps
(04:14):
about your beliefs that you actually believe that can turn
your brain into a success mechanism. But also coming back
to what we said, I think it was the second
week when we talked about, like, you don't believe yourself
on your start because you've become kind of a, for
lack of better way of saying it, a not so
skilled promise maker and a not so skilled promise keeper.
That is part of reinforcing the automatic failure mechanism. So
(04:35):
there's multiple things at play here. But when you have
this beautiful recipe that works together, you can literally retrain
your brain to not just believe in the inevitability of
your success, but also like witness yourself showing up as
that version of yourself that assumes success. So, and I'm
not talking about law of attraction or any of that,
I'm just saying, like we've talked about this on acting
(04:56):
as if as well, our brain is either negatively anticipating
the future, or it's positively anticipating in the future. Negative anticipation, fear, worry, failure, dread,
all the things right, positive anticipation, hope, faith, certainty, you know,
just positive expectation. One of those two pathways are happening
(05:18):
either way, and if we're unconscious of them, the failure
one is going to happen. It's pretty much a given.
But when you become aware of it, you can train.
And again it's beyond the scope of this ten minute episode,
but you can absolutely train your brain to believe in
the inevitability of your success. But you've got to meet
yourself in your own doubt and not create these pie
(05:38):
in the sky beliefs. But little by little, in minimums,
not in maximums. With enough air, attention, intension, repetition, you
can literally tell your brain to become.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
An automatic success mechanism.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
So if there's goals that you're setting for yourself, and
this is where we want to be really good goal setters,
and because there's a skill set to that too, right,
but part of it is training your brain to work
in the direction and assume the direction of faith. And
that is a mindset, that's a belief that's a thinking thing.
And again it's the part that's not sexy. It's the
part that people skip. It's the part that people forego
(06:11):
and they focus on, you know, whatever it is they
focus on, and that stuff just follows them into the
next thing, the next diet, the next chapter, whatever, and
that's where not to go all doom and gloom. But
we get, you know, ten twenty thirty years down the
road and we're like, how did this happen?
Speaker 5 (06:25):
I'm still here?
Speaker 4 (06:26):
And it's because that automatic failure mechanism never got addressed.
Even if you are so prime and position for success
and you have an automatic failure mechanism, you're going to
assume failure and it's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
You mentioned acting as if, so I went back to
check the date on that, and that was a four
part series that we did on the four Things podcast,
which is this feed as well, depending on where you're listening,
but if you're on Outweigh just search forth Things with
Amy Brown and it was from last September. I think
it was like September fourth, and everything came out out
in the same day, but were four different episodes and
(07:04):
you can listen to them. But it was a really
great series on acting as If we did a courage
to listen to that.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
There's a cheat sheet that goes with it, if you
go to leonellington dot com slash Acting as If. We
went all out on that series. Like the it's very
robust like that series. I'm not trying to be you know,
crazier hyperbole, but like it could transform your life, that series.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
I truly believe it, like we put our all into it.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Acting as If. And I love the acronym for air.
Say it again. I keep having the word accountability in
my head, but I hold on, I got it, I
got it, I got it.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Okay, So it's it's repetition. That's the r now, my
friends lost stories.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
You just need more air.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I need more air and water.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
For sure, exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
But intention, yep, you got it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Repetition. Ah if I was taking a test right now,
I did attention, attention, intension, and repetition, yeah, got it.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Absolutely total side know, totally unrelated.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
My husband's father is a military man, a doctor now,
but grew up in the military. And so my husband
trained both of our dogs to respond to a tune
hut and they sit at attention and that's when they
get a treat. So my dogs are military dogs may
have a chaos shout out to you.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Now I won't forget attention. Are you going to be
like a tension yep in tension? Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
And repetition, Absolutely, attention, intension and repetition.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
So here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
If you are giving attention, intention, and repetition to assuming failure,
to assuming catastrophe, you know, to assuming just low level
disappointment like don't want to get my hopes up, you
are literally ingraining this automatic failure mechanism. And that's why
I always say the work I do in stressfuss seting it.
It's not sexy, I get it, But it's so sexy
(08:50):
when you witness yourself showing up as a version of
yourself that knows who she is, knows how to feel
responsible and not reactive, sits in the knowingness of who
she is, independent of her weight or what she ate
that day, but also feels like she's taken radical ownership
of her thoughts and in turn, her life and her
actions and her behaviors. Like to me, that's sexy, you know,
But that being said, you've got to take ownership of that.
(09:13):
That's why the automatic success brain versus the automatic failure brain.
The word automatic is a very important thing because your
brain will become automated in one direction either way. And
I'm sure if you're listening to this this, if this
feels convicting, just know that I love you, but I
also do want it to convict you a little bit,
(09:33):
just enough to raise your hand and say, you know what,
I don't. I don't want to have this automatic assumption
of failure anymore.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
I don't want to feel that way, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
And I think people kind of paint over it or
gloss over it and think like, oh, she's just pessimistic
or whatever, and it's like, no, but this could transform
your life if you take ownership of it. You know.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
I realized some of my anxiety back in the day,
which sometimes it will still happen this way, but it
was anticipatory anxiety.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
And I read this whole article I was talking about
how like eighty five percent in my case, I think
it would be higher of the thoughts I was having
of negative things we're never going to happen. So that's
a huge chunk of stuff that my brain was just
making up that I was sitting with and having all
this angst.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
About absolutely one of the very first things which we
taught it on Acting as If as well, The very
first thing I teach my clients is the distinction between
the data versus the drama. Because I'm a drama maker too.
I'm like raising my hand. You know, we are meaning
making machines. It's what we do, right. And then our
social brain, which is way you know, more active and
bigger in females than it is in male. So if
(10:37):
you've ever felt like, oh my gosh, I'm so much
more emotional or whatever than my male counterparts, you're right.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
It doesn't mean you're broken your brain.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
That part of your brain is bigger, it's more active,
it's looking for that kind of stuff. But that being said,
it's the kind of thing that we've got to take
ownership of because our brains will make meaning out of
anything if we don't really distinguish and almost like I
call it adulting, like I have to adult my brain
the data versus dramas me kind of like adulting myself
talk and my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Yep, what are the facts here?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Now?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
How you can go off?
Speaker 3 (11:07):
This is the facts, the data, the data. Yep, however
you want to say it, Yep, tomato, not to yeah, tomato.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
My good friend Kate in the UK, and she says
it in a really cool accent. She said, feelings are
not facts. But she says it in a really cool
British accent. Feelings are not facts. And I love my feelings.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I love them, but I cannot make major decisions by them, right,
They're great.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
We want to be aware of them, but we don't
want to rely on them for these logic and reason
and like almost like the business of our lives, like
feelings need to stay out of it, you know so.
And that's another crossover is being able to just like
kind of almost compartmentalize but in a really strategic way
that serves us while giving space, like being emotionally available
to yourself when the timing's right, you know, not when
you're about to sign on the metaphorical dotted line of
(11:54):
your life.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
You know.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
I was having a conversation with someone the other day
and mine was very things I was saying were emotionally
of it. And the person said to me, this isn't rational, right,
And I'm like, I know, So I was glad I
was aware of it.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I'm glad.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I was like, wait, what, No, everything I'm saying makes
perfect sense. At least I wasn't fighting to the death
for that or this. That was a hill I wasn't
going to die on totally. But I know there's been
times where I wasn't going to back down. But I
was thankful for that awareness, for sure. But I got
called out on it, and then I paused and I
was like, yeah, I know, yeah, you're totally right, this
is not rational, but I'm still going to say it
(12:31):
this way for at least five more minutes, right, Yeah,
you let me be totally.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
You know, my drama is going to come out when
I preface it by saying, Okay, I'm going to give
myself permission to not be rational or sound or logical,
but I just have to share this because sometimes we
do have to give ourselves that permission, you know. But again,
that's just when knowing what we need and being emotionally
available to ourselves to feel the suck and but not
sit in it and not let us take us down
a rabbit hole. And that's a whole other episode on
its own.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah, all right, well, let's not assume failure from the
get go.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Let's what if ever thing was going to go right?
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Or just give your air, attention, intention, and repetition to
creating an automatic success mechanism.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Yeah, your beautiful.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Brain, with that repetition, you will. That's what it takes.
It's a given.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
That's just science. And over, LeAnn, Where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Absolutely Leanne Ellington over on Instagram and head on over
to stress withtheting dot com if you want to learn
how to rewire your brain and turn off the pesky
part that it's obsessing over food or your body.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
I've walked you through it in some simple.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Steps and I am at Radio Amy on Socials and well,
that concludes this five part series, but we will be
back here next Saturday for more Outweak see then Bite
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