April 20, 2024 • 19 mins
OUTWEIGH: Feeling like willpower just isn't enough to conquer your binge eating? You're not alone! Amy and Leanne are here for the first episode of the Binge-Free Brain series, and the first episode dives deep into the 3 biggest mistakes women make when trying to "out-discipline" or outsmart their eating habits.
Discover why restriction and white-knuckling it can actually backfire, and learn how to approach food freedom from a different, more empowering perspective. This is the first step to breaking free from the binge-eating cycle and re-wiring your brain to build a healthy relationship with food.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
And then we'll always out way if you feel it,
(00:24):
but yours are, She'll some love to the d why
get there? Take you one day? Ana? Did you? And
die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Outweigh Amy here And I'm with Leanne Allington and this
is a new series. It's gonna be five parts and
it is Binge Free Brain, so B F B and
I think that defining binge Leanne is a great place
to start. And in this first part we're going to
get into mistakes about healing binge eating. And I am
(00:59):
a recover binge eater and I know that my brain
played a huge role in that, but I never really
knew that until I read Brain over Binge, which was
an impactful book when it came to my healing. So
I'm very excited about what Leanne has put together for us,
the binge Free Brain.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So let's define binge.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Yeah, I know a lot of women that I talked to.
The first thing to say is well, it's not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
An outright binge.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
You know, I'm not sitting there and driving through McDonald's
and you know, getting four I've almost haid whoppers, but
that would be big Max.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
But you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
So a lot of times our brain just feels out
of control and it's excessively consuming something or it feels
almost compulsive. So that would be one definition of binge,
even if it's not necessarily in one you know setting
or the volume that my people think is associated with
a binge. But the other definition of binge that I
feel like really gives us a lot of clarity around
(01:54):
this is when something controls you more than you feel
like you control it. And that's where a lot of
women when it comes to food, and.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I know one of the parts of this five part
series we'll be talking specifically about the difference between men
and women when it comes to this, and men have
disordered eating as well. They have eating disorders they binge eat,
but it is interesting where women fall in that, So
we'll get into that in an upcoming week. But what
are some of the mistakes that we're making in this
healing process? And thank you for defining it because you know,
(02:25):
I think that's a great place to start, is knowing, Okay,
if you don't have control over something like even if
you're binging shopping, or you're binging TV or shows over
it and over, why are you just mindlessly going on
to the next And that's how I would feel. It's
almost like this zombie type state where I was mindlessly
(02:45):
grabbing the next thing from the pantry or next thing.
I know, yes, I was going through a different drive
through when I just went through a different place and
it was very out of body out I just combined
three different things, a zombie, out of body, and mindless.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
But it feel to find it absolutely and that's why it's.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
So I'm glad that you brought up the definition of
binge because sometimes even just that word we might not
associate with it. But I don't want you to discount yourself.
If you are struggling and you're in that cycle where
you feel like it's almost like an out of body,
out of control experience, this is going to be very
relevant to you. And so there's a few different mistakes
that people make, but you know, the top three that
come up are you know, the first one is really
treating it like it's a will power problem. This is
(03:26):
where I tell women like you could be the most strong,
willed and powerful woman that if you experience this specific
firing and wiring in your brain, it doesn't matter, because
willpower will last you for a couple of days, maybe
a couple of weeks if you're really strong. Right, But
willpower is something that we have a finite source of,
and we don't have the ability to just endlessly reproduce willpower,
(03:50):
and so it eventually runs out right, and so relying
on it for long term change it sets you up
for frustration and really that bounce back, that that update
down in out that binge restrict cycle, because the restriction
is a lot of times what comes off the back
of the over eating or the mindless eating or the
zombie eating or whatever it.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Is for us.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
But that being said too, like playing food police and
using willpower all the time, it's exhausting. It's no way
to live, right, And so I don't want people to
think that trying to rely on willpower is the strategy,
because it's no way to live as well.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yeah, I experienced that it only got me so far.
To your point, I would be able to go a
certain amount of days. But then I was right back
to my pattern, my behavior, and there was no stopping
it until I had an understanding of what was happening
inside my brain and I thought, oh, okay, yeah, my
willpower is only going to get.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Me so far.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Absolutely, And when we think that it's a willpower thing,
but then we aren't able to use willpower against it,
then we think, oh, I'm a failure.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
This is just me.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
This is how it's always going to be.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
And it leads into those beliefs that we're going to
cover in a future a week as well.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I'm weak and I this is just how it's going
to be the rest of my life, and this is
just who I am. And I'm the only person that
is probably suffering in this way or whatever.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
And trust me, you're not alone. You're not the only person.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Absolutely, And so that's where we just want to bring
that to awareness of, like, you know, instead of looking
at as a willpower thing, what if the answer the
solution was to actually not fight your sugar cravings or
your food cravings. And I know that might sound a
little bit counterintuitive, right, but part of it is when
you reprogram your brain and give it what it really
needs in those moments. And as you're learning, food is
(05:29):
not what it really needs, it will never fill those voids,
or maybe you're becoming aware of it. But when you
give your brain what it really needs and fill in
those gaps and be emotionally available to yourself in those moments,
the sugar cravings and the compulsions will disappear eventually on
their own once you feed your brain what it really needs.
And the hint here is your brain is not really
(05:49):
craving food. It's craving something that's deeper embedded in the
firing and wiring in your brain, which will also cover
in future episodes.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah, and also I just feel like this is a
good point to mention, like these ten minutes on a
Saturday where you're listening to this and this five part
series isn't a replacement for further care that you may
need or further work. This is to accompany the work
that you're doing and the support that you're receiving from elsewhere,
whatever that may look like.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So I just want to be clear about that.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
And it's also just Leanne and I, I mean, she
works in this field and she has a stressless leading program,
and it's her life's mission to work with people women,
mostly to try to empower them with the knowledge and
the information to live. I feel like to exhale and
not have to worry about some of these things. I
am just someone that has experienced it. So at the
(06:42):
end of the day, we're two friends of yours that
have walked through this ourselves, and we're just trying to
offer a resource, a tool, stuff to keep in your
back pocket. But again, Land's one doing the work more
on the backside with clients and everything.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
So just know, this is just in addition to.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
Right, absolutely, and this is the kind of stuff that
I wish somebody had told me. You know, I went
to the counselors and the programs, and I went to
overeaters anonymous, I mean, and you name it. And these
are the kinds of things that weren't being talked about
because it was looked at as such a food problem.
And that's actually a really good segue into the next
myth is that when you're demonizing foods in your brain,
(07:21):
that's another thing that's going to actually make the problem
harder and worse. And so I think a lot of
times when you're looking at it as a food problem,
we label things as danger foods, or when we're looking
at as a willpower thing, we look at it as
there's like good, right, wrong, black, white, all or nothing
kind of mentality that we need to use willpower against.
And demonizing that or thinking of things as dangerous is
(07:43):
actually going to further ingrain the problem, and it's actually
going to most likely trigger even more cravings. And so
trying to commit to giving up certain foods or sugar
all together, that's a big one. I hear a lot
of women are like, I need to just completely abstain
from sugar.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Or it's this is all given an example for me,
it was, okay, this is the last day I'm ever
having sugar, and from here on out, I am never
having it again because it is bad and I am
bad today for eating it. But tomorrow I'm going to
be good and eat the good to foods. And so
I demonize not only myself but also the food I
was consuming, because then when I inevitably would go back
(08:20):
to eating sugar, then I was bad again, and it's
the cycle of good and bad and good and bad.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
Yeah, you make such a good point, because we're not
just demonizing the foods. There's shame in that we are
demonizing ourselves, making ourselves wrong, you know, And that's where
the shame is. And oftentimes secrecy too, because if we're
doing something air quotes bad, we think we need to
hide it. And that's why mine was such a source
of shame as well, Like no one knew that I was,
you know, binge eating cookies in my closet, so to speak,
my metaphorical closet, because I was trying to show everyone
(08:48):
that I was ordering salad. So it does become this
kind of personal thing. And so, well, what's the alternative?
And I know it sounds kind of daunting because it's like, leanne,
if I've been thinking about food as good, bad, right, wrong,
healthy and healthy my entire life, what's the alternative? And
the way I describe it is you've got to teach
your brain a new language, Like if you've been metaphorically
speaking Spanish, you know, good, bad, right, wrong?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Should shouldn't?
Speaker 4 (09:09):
You need to teach it a new way of thinking.
And really, what that looks like is a new decision
making process, right because the good, bad, right, wrong, it
has become a decision making process. Okay, is it good? Yes,
is it bad then it's a no. Or if it's
bad and it's still a yes, then I'm bad.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Right.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
So it becomes this decision making process where it's if this,
then that right. So we literally need to redirect and
teach our brain a new way to make decisions, which,
in the nutshell of it, it's stop telling our brain
what we think we know and ask it better questions
so that it.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Will learn a new program.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
It's kind of like a computer, you know, if you
want to give it a new program to spit out,
you've got to update your software new software, And that's
kind of a metaphor for this. But this time around,
when you're teaching your brain a new language, make sure
that it's one that gets easier the more you practice it,
and you get better at it, the more you practice it,
so that you can just practice it less and lessen
It just be comes your way of thinking versus dieting,
(10:02):
restricting willpower control. It never gets easier, our brain never
learns it. It never becomes a new way of thinking.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah, I like to use the software thing to I've
heard a few people reference that recently, and it resonated
with me for sure, because you wouldn't operate from a
cell phone and whatever system it had from let's go
all the way back to two thousand and six, because
some people have been living, you know, eighteen twenty twenty
five years with an eating disorder or longer. So let's
(10:30):
just go back to when cell phones really first came around,
which for me nineteen ninety nine. I know they existed
before that, but it was around that time where everybody
kind of started to have their own and it was
like a little no Kia or whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Literally the year I was thinking and the no Kio's mind, and.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
So act as if we were here in twenty twenty
four operating on what we had available with a cell phone.
And I think that sometimes we get stuck in that
and we live in that, but you wouldn't ever stay
with that technology. You have advanced and so when we
fault to our old technology and we're just like, well,
this is just how I'm wired, This is just who
(11:05):
I am. To me when I would behave that way,
and I can say it now, I was just me
not wanting to face the music or put in the
work to update my software, to grow to you know,
have new experiences and to live a different type of life.
And sure I could still be talking on that cell
phone if I wanted to probably be easier, I would
(11:25):
have to deal with all this other stuff and these
updates and whatnot. But look at what I would be
missing out on and how much faster everything is. And
when our brains are bogged down by all this other stuff,
we're operating at a slower level. We're stuck in the past,
and we're not able to be present and live in
the moment.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And so you know, for me, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
It's kind of fun to picture yourself like do I
want to really walk around with my little Nokia phone?
Which I do want to. On that note, there's some fun,
There is simplicity in that. So that's a different type
of analogy of taking it back and maybe not being
dependent on it. But think of our computers and how
much they've advanced and how much leverage your life is.
And that's what I want y'all to feel, is like, oh,
(12:06):
if I upgrade my software, my life is going to
be more efficient, it's going to be more enjoyable, it's
going to be easier. And so getting rid of some
of these myths, it's a huge or mistakes that we're making,
excuse me, is a huge part in you updating your
software and teaching your brain that new language and getting
it firing and wiring at the optimal level.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Absolutely, And like here's the thing. Could I do long
division with a piece of paper and a pen? Absolutely,
But I'm spending so much brain power doing that when
I could break out my iPhone and do it in
thirty seconds or less then, right, And so it's about leveraging.
I mean, our brain is the most powerful supercomputer there is.
Like talk about technology, it's infinite, right, And so it's
about leverage. It's about really working smarter, not harder, so
(12:50):
that your brain does the heavy lifting for you so
that you don't have to think about it anymore. Like
that's what we're talking about, is that freedom that piece
so you can go use that mental real estate on
other things.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Which is huge.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Yeah, because I mean we can probably both have like
a long testimony about how much brain space was taken
up by food and body image thoughts and how much
we missed out on because yeah, it took up Everything's true,
and it was so exhausting totally. And so what about
the final and third mistake?
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Yeah, It's a perfect segue because you know, what we
were just talking about is really upgrading your software and
looking at it like it's a brain solution rather than
a willpower or food solution. But the other thing, the
other mistake that I went down was thinking that it
was strictly a psychological problem. And so here's the thing.
The problem, as we were talking about, is deep in
the brain. It's in our programming, right, It's also in
(13:37):
your nervous system and your beliefs, which we're going to
talk about in future episodes. And until you address that,
the other things will keep coming back with a vengeance.
And so this is also noting that, like, there's so
many benefits to taking a psychological and a therapy based
approach to different things, But if all you do is
look at it like that, you're going to ignore the
deeper fired and wired patterns in your brain that are
(13:58):
creating the psychologus, that are creating the physiological that are
creating the emotional components that are happening downstream. We're so
in it, like, we're so deeply embedded in it that
we think like this feels physical, this physiological pull that
I have to sugar, or this feels, you know, psychological,
because I feel crazy, But it's the neurological components that
are going higher up in the brain like upstream, that's
(14:20):
what's causing all of this downstream stuff. And if we
look at it just like it's a purely psychological or
even purely physiological thing, we're still going to continue solving
the wrong problem. And we've got to solve the right
problem on making sure that that's happening in the brain.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And so what do we do instead?
Speaker 4 (14:35):
We instead address the cause and effect root that's causing
all of this downstream stuff that's embedded in our nervous system,
because even though it feels mental and physical, it's actually
a brain thing.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
There could be other components than just the brain thing
in people's lives, depending on what happened in their life
that maybe then food became a tool for them to
get through, like if they're filling the void, like I'm
trying to think of the best way there you go.
That's the word coping mechanism. Food became that. So there
could be other stuff that you need to talk through,
(15:11):
work through. There's talk, therapy, there's different things. But I
see how for me, I can speak to this and
I can see how it's likely the case for a
lot of people. My brain developed a pattern of binging
and then I became dependent on it. But it was
because I was so restrictive in my teenage years when
my brain was developing, and so then that's where I
(15:33):
was just constantly living in the animal part of my brain.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So that was my experience.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
But again, I guess I'm just cautious because it is
such a sensitive thing, and I know you sure just
too LM that there's there could be many many layers,
of course, and this is one of them. And depending
on when and how food came into your life as
this coping mechanism, there could be other things that are
very beneficial for you to work through that are very
(15:58):
personal or that happened specifically to you. That's not just
about the wire wiring is yeah, So yeah, no, this
is no, that's such a perfect point.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
And I think it's really important what you just said.
And part of it is like, if there's an emotional
experience that happens and we've learned to use food as
a coping mechanism to fill those voids, until we address
that the residue, so to speak, we are going to
constantly be having to put fires out, put fires out
without addressing the cause of the fire. So it's not
like just a brain thing. What I'm saying is it
is three dimensional. There is the physiological and psychological components
(16:31):
to it that have to be addressed. But until you
address the kind of neurological residue that's gotten left, your
brain will keep doing its thing without you. So it's
like an it's not an either or it's an end.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Well that was what was so fascinating to me years
ago when I read Brain over Binge as she had
done all kinds of therapy as did I, and was
trying to figure out like, oh, well, this that happened
in my life is clearly the reason why I am
doing this, And she kept trying to solve that, and
it wasn't until she understood the brain that she had
healing exactly. But I will say, everybody's on their own journey,
(17:03):
and it might be that if you get healing in
a certain area, it clicks and you're like, oh, okay,
but I think it's important to work on it all. Sure, No,
I'm just probably overlying. No, it's sensitive to making sure
that we cover all those bases.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Yeah, I think it's.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Great because you're right, it's one of those things where
it's such a personal experience, you know. And I was
the same way, Like I was psychoanalyzing my problems to
death and until I understood like how things it was
the cause and effect that was causing it all, and
the emotional stuff was a big part of that. It
was like a cocktail almost. I was always going to
be missing the ingredient. I was always going to have
to be kind of mindsetting my way through it until
(17:40):
I was able to address the mindset and the brain
set so that it could my brain could do the
heavy lifting for me without me having to think about
it so much.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Awesome, And we'll be back next Saturday for another chat
about this.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
What are we going to be doing next week?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Yeah, we're going to be talking about the binge free
brain beliefs because there's three main beliefs that come alongside
it that you could be doing all Actually a lot
more of the mindset kind of psychological piece of the
puzzle that you could address the system of thinking. But
if you have any underlying beliefs that are keeping you
stuck in these patterns, it will continue to sabotage your efforts.
So we're going to be getting into more of the
psychological mindset belief piece of the puzzle next week.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
And y'all make sure to check out Lean's other podcast.
It's called What's God Got to Do with It? And
a lot of great interviews up there, a lot of
inside of yeah, just life and hey kind of questioning, well,
What's God got to do with it? Leanne is brilliant
and I think that she has a lot to offer,
So I encourage all to go check that out. And
then where else can people find you?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, I'm over on Instagram Liann Ellington.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
But also if you do want to learn about how
to turn off the part of your brain that's obsessed
with food and really rewire your brain for peace and freedom,
you can check out the Stressless Seeding preview where I've
just really peeled back the curtain and showed the system
that I teach my clients over at Stresslessseeding dot com.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Awesome. Okay, see y'all next Saturday. Bye bye,
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
And then we'll always out way if you feel it,
(00:24):
but yours are, She'll some love to the d why
get there? Take you one day? Ana? Did you? And
die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Outweigh Amy here And I'm with Leanne Allington and this
is a new series. It's gonna be five parts and
it is Binge Free Brain, so B F B and
I think that defining binge Leanne is a great place
to start. And in this first part we're going to
get into mistakes about healing binge eating. And I am
(00:59):
a recover binge eater and I know that my brain
played a huge role in that, but I never really
knew that until I read Brain over Binge, which was
an impactful book when it came to my healing. So
I'm very excited about what Leanne has put together for us,
the binge Free Brain.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So let's define binge.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Yeah, I know a lot of women that I talked to.
The first thing to say is well, it's not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
An outright binge.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
You know, I'm not sitting there and driving through McDonald's
and you know, getting four I've almost haid whoppers, but
that would be big Max.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
But you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
So a lot of times our brain just feels out
of control and it's excessively consuming something or it feels
almost compulsive. So that would be one definition of binge,
even if it's not necessarily in one you know setting
or the volume that my people think is associated with
a binge. But the other definition of binge that I
feel like really gives us a lot of clarity around
(01:54):
this is when something controls you more than you feel
like you control it. And that's where a lot of
women when it comes to food, and.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I know one of the parts of this five part
series we'll be talking specifically about the difference between men
and women when it comes to this, and men have
disordered eating as well. They have eating disorders they binge eat,
but it is interesting where women fall in that, So
we'll get into that in an upcoming week. But what
are some of the mistakes that we're making in this
healing process? And thank you for defining it because you know,
(02:25):
I think that's a great place to start, is knowing, Okay,
if you don't have control over something like even if
you're binging shopping, or you're binging TV or shows over
it and over, why are you just mindlessly going on
to the next And that's how I would feel. It's
almost like this zombie type state where I was mindlessly
(02:45):
grabbing the next thing from the pantry or next thing.
I know, yes, I was going through a different drive
through when I just went through a different place and
it was very out of body out I just combined
three different things, a zombie, out of body, and mindless.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
But it feel to find it absolutely and that's why it's.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
So I'm glad that you brought up the definition of
binge because sometimes even just that word we might not
associate with it. But I don't want you to discount yourself.
If you are struggling and you're in that cycle where
you feel like it's almost like an out of body,
out of control experience, this is going to be very
relevant to you. And so there's a few different mistakes
that people make, but you know, the top three that
come up are you know, the first one is really
treating it like it's a will power problem. This is
(03:26):
where I tell women like you could be the most strong,
willed and powerful woman that if you experience this specific
firing and wiring in your brain, it doesn't matter, because
willpower will last you for a couple of days, maybe
a couple of weeks if you're really strong. Right, But
willpower is something that we have a finite source of,
and we don't have the ability to just endlessly reproduce willpower,
(03:50):
and so it eventually runs out right, and so relying
on it for long term change it sets you up
for frustration and really that bounce back, that that update
down in out that binge restrict cycle, because the restriction
is a lot of times what comes off the back
of the over eating or the mindless eating or the
zombie eating or whatever it.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Is for us.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
But that being said too, like playing food police and
using willpower all the time, it's exhausting. It's no way
to live, right, And so I don't want people to
think that trying to rely on willpower is the strategy,
because it's no way to live as well.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yeah, I experienced that it only got me so far.
To your point, I would be able to go a
certain amount of days. But then I was right back
to my pattern, my behavior, and there was no stopping
it until I had an understanding of what was happening
inside my brain and I thought, oh, okay, yeah, my
willpower is only going to get.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Me so far.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Absolutely, And when we think that it's a willpower thing,
but then we aren't able to use willpower against it,
then we think, oh, I'm a failure.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
This is just me.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
This is how it's always going to be.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
And it leads into those beliefs that we're going to
cover in a future a week as well.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I'm weak and I this is just how it's going
to be the rest of my life, and this is
just who I am. And I'm the only person that
is probably suffering in this way or whatever.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
And trust me, you're not alone. You're not the only person.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Absolutely, And so that's where we just want to bring
that to awareness of, like, you know, instead of looking
at as a willpower thing, what if the answer the
solution was to actually not fight your sugar cravings or
your food cravings. And I know that might sound a
little bit counterintuitive, right, but part of it is when
you reprogram your brain and give it what it really
needs in those moments. And as you're learning, food is
(05:29):
not what it really needs, it will never fill those voids,
or maybe you're becoming aware of it. But when you
give your brain what it really needs and fill in
those gaps and be emotionally available to yourself in those moments,
the sugar cravings and the compulsions will disappear eventually on
their own once you feed your brain what it really needs.
And the hint here is your brain is not really
(05:49):
craving food. It's craving something that's deeper embedded in the
firing and wiring in your brain, which will also cover
in future episodes.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah, and also I just feel like this is a
good point to mention, like these ten minutes on a
Saturday where you're listening to this and this five part
series isn't a replacement for further care that you may
need or further work. This is to accompany the work
that you're doing and the support that you're receiving from elsewhere,
whatever that may look like.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So I just want to be clear about that.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
And it's also just Leanne and I, I mean, she
works in this field and she has a stressless leading program,
and it's her life's mission to work with people women,
mostly to try to empower them with the knowledge and
the information to live. I feel like to exhale and
not have to worry about some of these things. I
am just someone that has experienced it. So at the
(06:42):
end of the day, we're two friends of yours that
have walked through this ourselves, and we're just trying to
offer a resource, a tool, stuff to keep in your
back pocket. But again, Land's one doing the work more
on the backside with clients and everything.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
So just know, this is just in addition to.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
Right, absolutely, and this is the kind of stuff that
I wish somebody had told me. You know, I went
to the counselors and the programs, and I went to
overeaters anonymous, I mean, and you name it. And these
are the kinds of things that weren't being talked about
because it was looked at as such a food problem.
And that's actually a really good segue into the next
myth is that when you're demonizing foods in your brain,
(07:21):
that's another thing that's going to actually make the problem
harder and worse. And so I think a lot of
times when you're looking at it as a food problem,
we label things as danger foods, or when we're looking
at as a willpower thing, we look at it as
there's like good, right, wrong, black, white, all or nothing
kind of mentality that we need to use willpower against.
And demonizing that or thinking of things as dangerous is
(07:43):
actually going to further ingrain the problem, and it's actually
going to most likely trigger even more cravings. And so
trying to commit to giving up certain foods or sugar
all together, that's a big one. I hear a lot
of women are like, I need to just completely abstain
from sugar.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Or it's this is all given an example for me,
it was, okay, this is the last day I'm ever
having sugar, and from here on out, I am never
having it again because it is bad and I am
bad today for eating it. But tomorrow I'm going to
be good and eat the good to foods. And so
I demonize not only myself but also the food I
was consuming, because then when I inevitably would go back
(08:20):
to eating sugar, then I was bad again, and it's
the cycle of good and bad and good and bad.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
Yeah, you make such a good point, because we're not
just demonizing the foods. There's shame in that we are
demonizing ourselves, making ourselves wrong, you know, And that's where
the shame is. And oftentimes secrecy too, because if we're
doing something air quotes bad, we think we need to
hide it. And that's why mine was such a source
of shame as well, Like no one knew that I was,
you know, binge eating cookies in my closet, so to speak,
my metaphorical closet, because I was trying to show everyone
(08:48):
that I was ordering salad. So it does become this
kind of personal thing. And so, well, what's the alternative?
And I know it sounds kind of daunting because it's like, leanne,
if I've been thinking about food as good, bad, right, wrong,
healthy and healthy my entire life, what's the alternative? And
the way I describe it is you've got to teach
your brain a new language, Like if you've been metaphorically
speaking Spanish, you know, good, bad, right, wrong?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Should shouldn't?
Speaker 4 (09:09):
You need to teach it a new way of thinking.
And really, what that looks like is a new decision
making process, right because the good, bad, right, wrong, it
has become a decision making process. Okay, is it good? Yes,
is it bad then it's a no. Or if it's
bad and it's still a yes, then I'm bad.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Right.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
So it becomes this decision making process where it's if this,
then that right. So we literally need to redirect and
teach our brain a new way to make decisions, which,
in the nutshell of it, it's stop telling our brain
what we think we know and ask it better questions
so that it.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Will learn a new program.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
It's kind of like a computer, you know, if you
want to give it a new program to spit out,
you've got to update your software new software, And that's
kind of a metaphor for this. But this time around,
when you're teaching your brain a new language, make sure
that it's one that gets easier the more you practice it,
and you get better at it, the more you practice it,
so that you can just practice it less and lessen
It just be comes your way of thinking versus dieting,
(10:02):
restricting willpower control. It never gets easier, our brain never
learns it. It never becomes a new way of thinking.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah, I like to use the software thing to I've
heard a few people reference that recently, and it resonated
with me for sure, because you wouldn't operate from a
cell phone and whatever system it had from let's go
all the way back to two thousand and six, because
some people have been living, you know, eighteen twenty twenty
five years with an eating disorder or longer. So let's
(10:30):
just go back to when cell phones really first came around,
which for me nineteen ninety nine. I know they existed
before that, but it was around that time where everybody
kind of started to have their own and it was
like a little no Kia or whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Literally the year I was thinking and the no Kio's mind, and.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
So act as if we were here in twenty twenty
four operating on what we had available with a cell phone.
And I think that sometimes we get stuck in that
and we live in that, but you wouldn't ever stay
with that technology. You have advanced and so when we
fault to our old technology and we're just like, well,
this is just how I'm wired, This is just who
(11:05):
I am. To me when I would behave that way,
and I can say it now, I was just me
not wanting to face the music or put in the
work to update my software, to grow to you know,
have new experiences and to live a different type of life.
And sure I could still be talking on that cell
phone if I wanted to probably be easier, I would
(11:25):
have to deal with all this other stuff and these
updates and whatnot. But look at what I would be
missing out on and how much faster everything is. And
when our brains are bogged down by all this other stuff,
we're operating at a slower level. We're stuck in the past,
and we're not able to be present and live in
the moment.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And so you know, for me, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
It's kind of fun to picture yourself like do I
want to really walk around with my little Nokia phone?
Which I do want to. On that note, there's some fun,
There is simplicity in that. So that's a different type
of analogy of taking it back and maybe not being
dependent on it. But think of our computers and how
much they've advanced and how much leverage your life is.
And that's what I want y'all to feel, is like, oh,
(12:06):
if I upgrade my software, my life is going to
be more efficient, it's going to be more enjoyable, it's
going to be easier. And so getting rid of some
of these myths, it's a huge or mistakes that we're making,
excuse me, is a huge part in you updating your
software and teaching your brain that new language and getting
it firing and wiring at the optimal level.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Absolutely, And like here's the thing. Could I do long
division with a piece of paper and a pen? Absolutely,
But I'm spending so much brain power doing that when
I could break out my iPhone and do it in
thirty seconds or less then, right, And so it's about leveraging.
I mean, our brain is the most powerful supercomputer there is.
Like talk about technology, it's infinite, right, And so it's
about leverage. It's about really working smarter, not harder, so
(12:50):
that your brain does the heavy lifting for you so
that you don't have to think about it anymore. Like
that's what we're talking about, is that freedom that piece
so you can go use that mental real estate on
other things.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Which is huge.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Yeah, because I mean we can probably both have like
a long testimony about how much brain space was taken
up by food and body image thoughts and how much
we missed out on because yeah, it took up Everything's true,
and it was so exhausting totally. And so what about
the final and third mistake?
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Yeah, It's a perfect segue because you know, what we
were just talking about is really upgrading your software and
looking at it like it's a brain solution rather than
a willpower or food solution. But the other thing, the
other mistake that I went down was thinking that it
was strictly a psychological problem. And so here's the thing.
The problem, as we were talking about, is deep in
the brain. It's in our programming, right, It's also in
(13:37):
your nervous system and your beliefs, which we're going to
talk about in future episodes. And until you address that,
the other things will keep coming back with a vengeance.
And so this is also noting that, like, there's so
many benefits to taking a psychological and a therapy based
approach to different things, But if all you do is
look at it like that, you're going to ignore the
deeper fired and wired patterns in your brain that are
(13:58):
creating the psychologus, that are creating the physiological that are
creating the emotional components that are happening downstream. We're so
in it, like, we're so deeply embedded in it that
we think like this feels physical, this physiological pull that
I have to sugar, or this feels, you know, psychological,
because I feel crazy, But it's the neurological components that
are going higher up in the brain like upstream, that's
(14:20):
what's causing all of this downstream stuff. And if we
look at it just like it's a purely psychological or
even purely physiological thing, we're still going to continue solving
the wrong problem. And we've got to solve the right
problem on making sure that that's happening in the brain.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And so what do we do instead?
Speaker 4 (14:35):
We instead address the cause and effect root that's causing
all of this downstream stuff that's embedded in our nervous system,
because even though it feels mental and physical, it's actually
a brain thing.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
There could be other components than just the brain thing
in people's lives, depending on what happened in their life
that maybe then food became a tool for them to
get through, like if they're filling the void, like I'm
trying to think of the best way there you go.
That's the word coping mechanism. Food became that. So there
could be other stuff that you need to talk through,
(15:11):
work through. There's talk, therapy, there's different things. But I
see how for me, I can speak to this and
I can see how it's likely the case for a
lot of people. My brain developed a pattern of binging
and then I became dependent on it. But it was
because I was so restrictive in my teenage years when
my brain was developing, and so then that's where I
(15:33):
was just constantly living in the animal part of my brain.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So that was my experience.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
But again, I guess I'm just cautious because it is
such a sensitive thing, and I know you sure just
too LM that there's there could be many many layers,
of course, and this is one of them. And depending
on when and how food came into your life as
this coping mechanism, there could be other things that are
very beneficial for you to work through that are very
(15:58):
personal or that happened specifically to you. That's not just
about the wire wiring is yeah, So yeah, no, this
is no, that's such a perfect point.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
And I think it's really important what you just said.
And part of it is like, if there's an emotional
experience that happens and we've learned to use food as
a coping mechanism to fill those voids, until we address
that the residue, so to speak, we are going to
constantly be having to put fires out, put fires out
without addressing the cause of the fire. So it's not
like just a brain thing. What I'm saying is it
is three dimensional. There is the physiological and psychological components
(16:31):
to it that have to be addressed. But until you
address the kind of neurological residue that's gotten left, your
brain will keep doing its thing without you. So it's
like an it's not an either or it's an end.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Well that was what was so fascinating to me years
ago when I read Brain over Binge as she had
done all kinds of therapy as did I, and was
trying to figure out like, oh, well, this that happened
in my life is clearly the reason why I am
doing this, And she kept trying to solve that, and
it wasn't until she understood the brain that she had
healing exactly. But I will say, everybody's on their own journey,
(17:03):
and it might be that if you get healing in
a certain area, it clicks and you're like, oh, okay,
but I think it's important to work on it all. Sure, No,
I'm just probably overlying. No, it's sensitive to making sure
that we cover all those bases.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Yeah, I think it's.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Great because you're right, it's one of those things where
it's such a personal experience, you know. And I was
the same way, Like I was psychoanalyzing my problems to
death and until I understood like how things it was
the cause and effect that was causing it all, and
the emotional stuff was a big part of that. It
was like a cocktail almost. I was always going to
be missing the ingredient. I was always going to have
to be kind of mindsetting my way through it until
(17:40):
I was able to address the mindset and the brain
set so that it could my brain could do the
heavy lifting for me without me having to think about
it so much.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Awesome, And we'll be back next Saturday for another chat
about this.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
What are we going to be doing next week?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Yeah, we're going to be talking about the binge free
brain beliefs because there's three main beliefs that come alongside
it that you could be doing all Actually a lot
more of the mindset kind of psychological piece of the
puzzle that you could address the system of thinking. But
if you have any underlying beliefs that are keeping you
stuck in these patterns, it will continue to sabotage your efforts.
So we're going to be getting into more of the
psychological mindset belief piece of the puzzle next week.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
And y'all make sure to check out Lean's other podcast.
It's called What's God Got to Do with It? And
a lot of great interviews up there, a lot of
inside of yeah, just life and hey kind of questioning, well,
What's God got to do with it? Leanne is brilliant
and I think that she has a lot to offer,
So I encourage all to go check that out. And
then where else can people find you?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, I'm over on Instagram Liann Ellington.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
But also if you do want to learn about how
to turn off the part of your brain that's obsessed
with food and really rewire your brain for peace and freedom,
you can check out the Stressless Seeding preview where I've
just really peeled back the curtain and showed the system
that I teach my clients over at Stresslessseeding dot com.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Awesome. Okay, see y'all next Saturday. Bye bye,
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