OUTWEIGH: Feel like your mind and your thoughts are holding you hostage when it comes to eating when you're not even hungry? Part 2 of our Binge-Free Brain series tackles the surprising truth: your beliefs about food are shaping your habits, not the other way around. We'll explore 3 common beliefs that can fuel binge eating, like "food makes me feel better" or "I'm powerless against cravings." Discover how to challenge these limiting beliefs and rewrite your food story for lasting change.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body. I'll be outwait everything that
I'm made dope, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am, I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
And then we'll always out way if you feel it.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
But she'll some love to the h I get there.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Take you one day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday. Outweigh Amy here with Leanne Ellington.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hello, Hello, and.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
This is part two of five part series that we're doing.
When it comes to binging in your brain, it's called
brain free bingch. Just kidding, I said it backwards again.
It's bench free brain. Yep, you got it. I mean,
I just it's that I keep mixing it up. Yeah,
bf B for sure, exactly. It could be either way,
but bingchfree brain. Ultimately, that's what we hope to give you,
(01:03):
or give you the tools at least to help be
on your way to a binge free brain. I don't
know why, I just pictured someone like throwing their backpack
over their shoulder and like heading out on a hike
with their binge free brain. Because when you're free of
the binge thoughts, and the food thoughts and the body
image thoughts. I just picture you on like a hike
(01:24):
where that backpack feels a little bit lighter and you're
able to be with nature, be with a friend, taken life,
be present, because the truth of it is, when you're
living in a very food binge disordered, eating centric life,
your thoughts are dominated by that.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
So this is a five part series to help.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
You better understand maybe why you're binging and some of
the behaviors that come along with that. In today's episode
is going to be about how beliefs shape behaviors, and
so I'll let LeAnn take it away.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
There's three right, Yeah, there's three main ones.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
So the coming weeks we're going to get more into
the actual brain stuff, like what is going on when
we talk about the fired and wired experience, why food
has been learned a kind of a learned behavior to
fill voids of anything, whether it's pain, emotional, whether it's sadness, boredness, loneliness,
all those things. We're going to get into the nitty
gritty of that and promise to keep it super simple
on the science side of it. But today, you know,
(02:20):
coming back to what we were talking about, last week.
How it's not just any one thing. It's not just physical,
it's not just psychological, it's not even just the brain.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It's got to be all of it.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
And so if I were to shortcut the psychological side
of it, what would be the lever mover? What would
really help, you know, move the needle the fastest? And
you know, I could give you the most amazing air quotes,
perfect strategy on how to create a binge free brain.
But if we don't understand and identify those kind of
metaphorical weeds in the garden that are causing you to
(02:50):
think and act and believe and behave the way that
you are, or feel like you're sabotaging yourself, or feel like, okay,
I'm destined to fail, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy.
Beliefs always shape your behaviors, and your behaviors follow your beliefs,
not the other way around. And we think like, oh,
I'll just address the habits, I'll just do differently. But
if we don't believe differently, we will fall back in
(03:11):
alignment with our beliefs. One of the cool things about
beliefs is once you become aware of them, I talk
about awareness awareness all the time. We're not going to
get into the weeds and in the nitty gritty of
transforming them because that's such an individualized process and it's
got to be relevant to you and what you.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Believe to be true. And so the new belief.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Side of it, we actually did talk about this in
part of Acting as if we can put that in
the show notes. But you know, really, the reason I'm
hesitant to give people new beliefs is because if they
don't resonate, they'll actually lay down negative neuro associations alongside
the belief. And that's why it's not that positive affirmations
don't work.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
It's just that if you don't believe.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
The affirmation, it doesn't work or it's going to be
a lot longer because it's creating doubt, it's creating negative associations.
So that being said, there is beauty in just having
an awareness that you have the ability to become aware
of these beliefs.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And the three main ones.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
That I go over and we really individually make these
over with each of my clients is the first one
is and when I say it's a belief, okay, it's
actually a lie that we're telling ourselves, but we're not
necessarily conscious of it. So that's why the beauty of
awareness awareness is it takes the unconscious and it makes
it conscious. And so just even seeing this and acknowledging like, hey,
(04:23):
this is actually not a lie. Even though it feels true,
this is not true, right, or it might not be true,
is enough to create new patterns in your brain. So
the first belief or the most common one that comes up,
is when I'm sad, when I'm bored, when I'm lonely,
when i need comfort, when I fill in the blank,
food will make me feel better. Okay, And again, just
(04:44):
to specify and get really nitty gritty, we're not necessarily
actively and.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Consciously telling ourselves that.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
What's happening is we've unconsciously like downloaded a belief. And
that's why it's so important to the first step is
to make it conscious. Is that we think, oh, when
I'm sad, food is going to fill this void. When
I'm bored, food will make will fill this void. When
I need comfort, food will make me feel better. And again,
if you're listening to this and you struggle with overeating
and filling voids, you get to the fridge and you're like,
(05:12):
why am I here? I'm not even hungry, Or you're
in the cupboard and you're through a whole bag of
chips and you're like, why am I still hungry?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I just ate a whole bag of chips.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Whatever it is, you're filling some sort of void with food,
and it's not a hunger void, then there is a
good chance that there's some unconscious or subconscious belief that
you downloaded that food.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Is going to make you feel better.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
And so, without going again too deep into this because
it's so individualized, if all you do is call out
the lie of like, actually, no, when I'm sad, food
actually won't make me less sad, and in fact, it
might even make me more sad because now I have
this cognitive dissonance or this shame that I just ate
and I wasn't even hungry, Or when I'm bored, food
is not going to actually fill that void of boredom.
(05:52):
I'm still going to be bored after I eat right,
or when I need comfort or when I'm lonely, food
is not going to fill that void. So just really
calling it out that it's a lie is enough to
get those patterns and those thought processes going in your
brain of making the unconscious conscious.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Okay, question about food and sadness because I do think
that there is certain food that makes me happy, but
I see it now yacism and recovery. So there may
be a difference in that, like because I have the
awareness awareness, and I'm like, Okay, actually this food is
going to bring me joy, But I also know I
likely need to truly address whatever's going on. And sometimes
(06:28):
you just need to be in your sadness and not
try to fix it.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, just be in it.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
And also, do you think that movies and TV shows
and society has played a role in planting that lie
because they have continued to show us time and time
again that when you're feeling sad, or you're feeling lonely,
or you're feeling bored, like that's what you do.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
You go reach for the ice cream and.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
It's going to make you feel better or just feel
something in that moment. But then, like you said, if
you you know so to what we talked about last
week with the food being good or bad, and then
now if there's if you have a bad association with that,
and then you feel the shame and then now you're bad.
And then the pattern it's repeats, rinse, swash, repeat, over
(07:14):
and over is sort of what happens. But do you
think movies and TV shows have played a role in
that life?
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Such a great question, and it is such a powerful distinction.
So the first thing that you asked about, like, food
can bring me joy? Right, And so what I say
about this is this, Yes, food can be a source
of pleasure and joy and connection and all those things.
Where it becomes dangerous is when it's our only form
of happiness joy. So for example, when my clients have
sadness or they have loneliness and they literally don't have
(07:42):
any other way to fill that gap other than food.
That's the distinction, right versus two things can be true
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I can be sad.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
And I can use use food to create joy and pleasure,
but I'm not using it to fill the void of
the sadness. So it's these teeny little distinction. And again,
where it's dangerous is when we don't know how to
be emotionally available to ourselves in those moments other than
using food.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Gotcha.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
And then yeah, absolutely, I think TV media, all those
things have It's just kind of like it's almost a meme,
you know what I mean, Like, when you're you're sad,
let's get together and have ice cream. And again, food
can be a source of connection and pleasure and all
of that, but oftentimes too, Like and I'm just picturing
Gilmarg Girls, even though I never really watched that show,
but for whatever reason, that just came to my mind.
(08:27):
They're eating the ice cream, but they're also connecting and
talking in all those things.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
So it's not like a substitute, you know, it's not
like in private like a shoe, like a shame. You
can get the ice.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Cream and go to your closet and just down the
entire exactly, Yeah, and then hide the cart and so
that nobody knows that's there is a distinct difference in
that type of use of food exactly, so that I
can get on board with too. And now I'm just
sitting here thinking like, well, shoot, why didn't TV or movies,
why don't they make it a thing where, oh, if
you're feeling sad or lonely, play a brain game.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Right exactly.
Speaker 5 (09:01):
And then it's like, wow, Okay, then I exercise sensory
exercises and what you just said is really the distinction
between am I using this as a tool to connect
myself and actually make myself feel better or is it
a weapon of disconnection?
Speaker 4 (09:13):
And that's an easier distinction to wrap our brains around. Okay,
what about the second Yeah, the second belief is I
don't care, I just want it now. So this is
when we feel really out of control and we feel
almost like we literally it's an out of body experience.
And what's happening in between that we're not seeing is
that our brain is actually saying, I don't care if
(09:35):
it makes me feel bad, I don't care that I'm
not hungry.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I just want it now.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
And when we look at that and we kind of
psychoanalyze it, the truth is, well, actually, no, I do care,
but this compulsion feels bigger than me right now.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Right.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
But when we lie to ourselves and say I don't care,
I just want it now, and again, you're not consciously
saying it, it's very unconscious.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
It's sneaky, it's subconscious.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
And not everyone that overeats or binges has all or
any of these lest they're just the most common ones
that come up for my clients. But again, when we
kind of almost resign to it and pretend like we
don't care, and that in itself a coping mechanism when
the reality is it's like, no, you do care, because
you're shaming yourself right now. And so even just acknowledging no,
(10:16):
I actually do care and you can still it might
not change the decision. True, you might still go towards
the food, right, but acknowledging that no, I actually do
care and I'm not going to pretend that I don't care.
And part of it is like one of the things
I hate my clients to do is actually acknowledge that
they care and care more. But the part of it
is when you're stuck in the binge cycle or the
(10:37):
overeating cycle, or it feels out a body, you don't
necessarily know what to care about more. And that's where
it's in your blind spot, and that's where it's beyond
the scope of this conversation. But a lot of us
don't know what we want. We feel purposeless, we feel listless,
we feel insignificant, and so it's like, well, I don't care.
Food is the only thing I care about right now.
And that's where it's like, we've got to find something
(10:58):
bigger than you to care about in those moments, and
that's where it becomes a process of learning how to
be emotionally available to yourself. Sometimes it's spiritually available to yourself.
Sometimes it's it's resigning and saying, hey, I can't do
this on my own. I need support and help. But
knowing that distinction and that kind of bridges us perfectly
into the third belief, which is, I am an addict. Okay,
(11:19):
And this is where gosh, I believe this for so long, And.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Here's the distinction.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
There is addiction, like addiction lives in the brain for
certain things, but I believe when it comes to food.
For me, believing that I was an addict was what
I call a game over belief because it made me believe, Okay,
if I'm an addict, well, then this is who I am.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I just have to deal with this.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
I have to resign to it versus And if you're
listening to this and you've ever said I'm a sugar addict,
I'm a food addict.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I feel out of control.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
All these things the type of addict we're talking about
right here, exactly right but soon and I know so
many people have said, oh, I'm if I have one cookie,
I can't stop, Like, I love sugar, I'm addicted to sugar.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Sugar is my it's my drug of choice.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Yes, yeah, absolutely, So if you've ever resonated with that
thought process, are you open to the possibility that maybe
you practice a recipe of thoughts and beliefs and behaviors
that caused you to use food and sugar addictively, and
that it's possible that you could practice a recipe of
thoughts and beliefs and behaviors where you can still use
(12:19):
sugar but not use it addictively.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Because that's the other thing too.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
A lot of people are like, I just wish I
could abstain from sugar forever, And part of.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It is like, but do you really want to do that?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Like do you never want to bakeand do you never
want to like have cake on your birthday again? So
like I don't want people to think that never having
sugar and abstaining totally is the solution that they want either,
because then again that comes back to last week of
relying on willpower, thinking it's just a psychological or physiological problem,
all those things. But part of it is like, no,
the label and the belief that you're an addict is
(12:48):
denoting that you're powerless to ever shift it. And that's
where it's like, no, are you open to the possibility
that your brain got fired and wired to use food
addictively and it got fired and wired because of a
series of thoughts and beliefs and behaviors and patterns that
created that compulsion, and that you can unwire it and
rewire something new. But first and foremost you have to
identify like, well, maybe I'm not actually an addict period
(13:09):
end of sentence. Maybe I've just practiced addictively using sugar
and I'm committed to practicing something different.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
It's almost like in a relationship they say these are
the things that you should never say to your partner,
and it's like, you should never say you always do
this or you never do this, because in reality that's
not true. But we should talk to ourselves in that way,
especially when it comes to food. Of like, you can
never stop eating sugar once you start, Well, then if
that's your narrative, that becomes pretty powerful.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Are you always given to sugar when you have it?
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Or you know, it becomes these absolutes that we can't
get away from.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, the absolutes.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, the absolutes. We need to get rid of the absolutes. Absolutely,
we do. Yes, Leanne, where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Absolutely? Absolutely? If you want to let that's your favorite word,
I think I think so, it absolutely might be yes.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
If you want to turn off the part of your
brain that feels obsessed or feels addicted to sugar and food.
I've literally peeled back the curtain and the system that
I teach my clients, the stressles seeding system over at
stresslesseding dot com.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
You can check out the free preview.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
And Leanne Ellington on social media and another podcast Leanne
has where it's just hers called What's God Got to
Do with It? And then I am at Radio Amy
on socials and I'll see you on Tuesday for the
Fifth Thing with Therapy Cat and then on Thursday for
four Things, and then Leanne on I will be back.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
For part three of this b SV free Right. Part
three will be next Saturday. Bye bye
I won't let my body. I'll be outwait everything that
I'm made dope, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am, I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
And then we'll always out way if you feel it.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
But she'll some love to the h I get there.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Take you one day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday. Outweigh Amy here with Leanne Ellington.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hello, Hello, and.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
This is part two of five part series that we're doing.
When it comes to binging in your brain, it's called
brain free bingch. Just kidding, I said it backwards again.
It's bench free brain. Yep, you got it. I mean,
I just it's that I keep mixing it up. Yeah,
bf B for sure, exactly. It could be either way,
but bingchfree brain. Ultimately, that's what we hope to give you,
(01:03):
or give you the tools at least to help be
on your way to a binge free brain. I don't
know why, I just pictured someone like throwing their backpack
over their shoulder and like heading out on a hike
with their binge free brain. Because when you're free of
the binge thoughts, and the food thoughts and the body
image thoughts. I just picture you on like a hike
(01:24):
where that backpack feels a little bit lighter and you're
able to be with nature, be with a friend, taken life,
be present, because the truth of it is, when you're
living in a very food binge disordered, eating centric life,
your thoughts are dominated by that.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
So this is a five part series to help.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
You better understand maybe why you're binging and some of
the behaviors that come along with that. In today's episode
is going to be about how beliefs shape behaviors, and
so I'll let LeAnn take it away.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
There's three right, Yeah, there's three main ones.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
So the coming weeks we're going to get more into
the actual brain stuff, like what is going on when
we talk about the fired and wired experience, why food
has been learned a kind of a learned behavior to
fill voids of anything, whether it's pain, emotional, whether it's sadness, boredness, loneliness,
all those things. We're going to get into the nitty
gritty of that and promise to keep it super simple
on the science side of it. But today, you know,
(02:20):
coming back to what we were talking about, last week.
How it's not just any one thing. It's not just physical,
it's not just psychological, it's not even just the brain.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It's got to be all of it.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
And so if I were to shortcut the psychological side
of it, what would be the lever mover? What would
really help, you know, move the needle the fastest? And
you know, I could give you the most amazing air quotes,
perfect strategy on how to create a binge free brain.
But if we don't understand and identify those kind of
metaphorical weeds in the garden that are causing you to
(02:50):
think and act and believe and behave the way that
you are, or feel like you're sabotaging yourself, or feel like, okay,
I'm destined to fail, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy.
Beliefs always shape your behaviors, and your behaviors follow your beliefs,
not the other way around. And we think like, oh,
I'll just address the habits, I'll just do differently. But
if we don't believe differently, we will fall back in
(03:11):
alignment with our beliefs. One of the cool things about
beliefs is once you become aware of them, I talk
about awareness awareness all the time. We're not going to
get into the weeds and in the nitty gritty of
transforming them because that's such an individualized process and it's
got to be relevant to you and what you.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Believe to be true. And so the new belief.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Side of it, we actually did talk about this in
part of Acting as if we can put that in
the show notes. But you know, really, the reason I'm
hesitant to give people new beliefs is because if they
don't resonate, they'll actually lay down negative neuro associations alongside
the belief. And that's why it's not that positive affirmations
don't work.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
It's just that if you don't believe.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
The affirmation, it doesn't work or it's going to be
a lot longer because it's creating doubt, it's creating negative associations.
So that being said, there is beauty in just having
an awareness that you have the ability to become aware
of these beliefs.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And the three main ones.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
That I go over and we really individually make these
over with each of my clients is the first one
is and when I say it's a belief, okay, it's
actually a lie that we're telling ourselves, but we're not
necessarily conscious of it. So that's why the beauty of
awareness awareness is it takes the unconscious and it makes
it conscious. And so just even seeing this and acknowledging like, hey,
(04:23):
this is actually not a lie. Even though it feels true,
this is not true, right, or it might not be true,
is enough to create new patterns in your brain. So
the first belief or the most common one that comes up,
is when I'm sad, when I'm bored, when I'm lonely,
when i need comfort, when I fill in the blank,
food will make me feel better. Okay, And again, just
(04:44):
to specify and get really nitty gritty, we're not necessarily
actively and.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Consciously telling ourselves that.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
What's happening is we've unconsciously like downloaded a belief. And
that's why it's so important to the first step is
to make it conscious. Is that we think, oh, when
I'm sad, food is going to fill this void. When
I'm bored, food will make will fill this void. When
I need comfort, food will make me feel better. And again,
if you're listening to this and you struggle with overeating
and filling voids, you get to the fridge and you're like,
(05:12):
why am I here? I'm not even hungry, Or you're
in the cupboard and you're through a whole bag of
chips and you're like, why am I still hungry?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I just ate a whole bag of chips.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Whatever it is, you're filling some sort of void with food,
and it's not a hunger void, then there is a
good chance that there's some unconscious or subconscious belief that
you downloaded that food.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Is going to make you feel better.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
And so, without going again too deep into this because
it's so individualized, if all you do is call out
the lie of like, actually, no, when I'm sad, food
actually won't make me less sad, and in fact, it
might even make me more sad because now I have
this cognitive dissonance or this shame that I just ate
and I wasn't even hungry, Or when I'm bored, food
is not going to actually fill that void of boredom.
(05:52):
I'm still going to be bored after I eat right,
or when I need comfort or when I'm lonely, food
is not going to fill that void. So just really
calling it out that it's a lie is enough to
get those patterns and those thought processes going in your
brain of making the unconscious conscious.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Okay, question about food and sadness because I do think
that there is certain food that makes me happy, but
I see it now yacism and recovery. So there may
be a difference in that, like because I have the
awareness awareness, and I'm like, Okay, actually this food is
going to bring me joy, But I also know I
likely need to truly address whatever's going on. And sometimes
(06:28):
you just need to be in your sadness and not
try to fix it.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, just be in it.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
And also, do you think that movies and TV shows
and society has played a role in planting that lie
because they have continued to show us time and time
again that when you're feeling sad, or you're feeling lonely,
or you're feeling bored, like that's what you do.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
You go reach for the ice cream and.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
It's going to make you feel better or just feel
something in that moment. But then, like you said, if
you you know so to what we talked about last
week with the food being good or bad, and then
now if there's if you have a bad association with that,
and then you feel the shame and then now you're bad.
And then the pattern it's repeats, rinse, swash, repeat, over
(07:14):
and over is sort of what happens. But do you
think movies and TV shows have played a role in
that life?
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Such a great question, and it is such a powerful distinction.
So the first thing that you asked about, like, food
can bring me joy? Right, And so what I say
about this is this, Yes, food can be a source
of pleasure and joy and connection and all those things.
Where it becomes dangerous is when it's our only form
of happiness joy. So for example, when my clients have
sadness or they have loneliness and they literally don't have
(07:42):
any other way to fill that gap other than food.
That's the distinction, right versus two things can be true
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I can be sad.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
And I can use use food to create joy and pleasure,
but I'm not using it to fill the void of
the sadness. So it's these teeny little distinction. And again,
where it's dangerous is when we don't know how to
be emotionally available to ourselves in those moments other than
using food.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Gotcha.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
And then yeah, absolutely, I think TV media, all those
things have It's just kind of like it's almost a meme,
you know what I mean, Like, when you're you're sad,
let's get together and have ice cream. And again, food
can be a source of connection and pleasure and all
of that, but oftentimes too, Like and I'm just picturing
Gilmarg Girls, even though I never really watched that show,
but for whatever reason, that just came to my mind.
(08:27):
They're eating the ice cream, but they're also connecting and
talking in all those things.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
So it's not like a substitute, you know, it's not
like in private like a shoe, like a shame. You
can get the ice.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Cream and go to your closet and just down the
entire exactly, Yeah, and then hide the cart and so
that nobody knows that's there is a distinct difference in
that type of use of food exactly, so that I
can get on board with too. And now I'm just
sitting here thinking like, well, shoot, why didn't TV or movies,
why don't they make it a thing where, oh, if
you're feeling sad or lonely, play a brain game.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Right exactly.
Speaker 5 (09:01):
And then it's like, wow, Okay, then I exercise sensory
exercises and what you just said is really the distinction
between am I using this as a tool to connect
myself and actually make myself feel better or is it
a weapon of disconnection?
Speaker 4 (09:13):
And that's an easier distinction to wrap our brains around. Okay,
what about the second Yeah, the second belief is I
don't care, I just want it now. So this is
when we feel really out of control and we feel
almost like we literally it's an out of body experience.
And what's happening in between that we're not seeing is
that our brain is actually saying, I don't care if
(09:35):
it makes me feel bad, I don't care that I'm
not hungry.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I just want it now.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
And when we look at that and we kind of
psychoanalyze it, the truth is, well, actually, no, I do care,
but this compulsion feels bigger than me right now.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Right.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
But when we lie to ourselves and say I don't care,
I just want it now, and again, you're not consciously
saying it, it's very unconscious.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
It's sneaky, it's subconscious.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
And not everyone that overeats or binges has all or
any of these lest they're just the most common ones
that come up for my clients. But again, when we
kind of almost resign to it and pretend like we
don't care, and that in itself a coping mechanism when
the reality is it's like, no, you do care, because
you're shaming yourself right now. And so even just acknowledging no,
(10:16):
I actually do care and you can still it might
not change the decision. True, you might still go towards
the food, right, but acknowledging that no, I actually do
care and I'm not going to pretend that I don't care.
And part of it is like one of the things
I hate my clients to do is actually acknowledge that
they care and care more. But the part of it
is when you're stuck in the binge cycle or the
(10:37):
overeating cycle, or it feels out a body, you don't
necessarily know what to care about more. And that's where
it's in your blind spot, and that's where it's beyond
the scope of this conversation. But a lot of us
don't know what we want. We feel purposeless, we feel listless,
we feel insignificant, and so it's like, well, I don't care.
Food is the only thing I care about right now.
And that's where it's like, we've got to find something
(10:58):
bigger than you to care about in those moments, and
that's where it becomes a process of learning how to
be emotionally available to yourself. Sometimes it's spiritually available to yourself.
Sometimes it's it's resigning and saying, hey, I can't do
this on my own. I need support and help. But
knowing that distinction and that kind of bridges us perfectly
into the third belief, which is, I am an addict. Okay,
(11:19):
And this is where gosh, I believe this for so long, And.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Here's the distinction.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
There is addiction, like addiction lives in the brain for
certain things, but I believe when it comes to food.
For me, believing that I was an addict was what
I call a game over belief because it made me believe, Okay,
if I'm an addict, well, then this is who I am.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I just have to deal with this.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
I have to resign to it versus And if you're
listening to this and you've ever said I'm a sugar addict,
I'm a food addict.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I feel out of control.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
All these things the type of addict we're talking about
right here, exactly right but soon and I know so
many people have said, oh, I'm if I have one cookie,
I can't stop, Like, I love sugar, I'm addicted to sugar.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Sugar is my it's my drug of choice.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Yes, yeah, absolutely, So if you've ever resonated with that
thought process, are you open to the possibility that maybe
you practice a recipe of thoughts and beliefs and behaviors
that caused you to use food and sugar addictively, and
that it's possible that you could practice a recipe of
thoughts and beliefs and behaviors where you can still use
(12:19):
sugar but not use it addictively.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Because that's the other thing too.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
A lot of people are like, I just wish I
could abstain from sugar forever, And part of.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It is like, but do you really want to do that?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Like do you never want to bakeand do you never
want to like have cake on your birthday again? So
like I don't want people to think that never having
sugar and abstaining totally is the solution that they want either,
because then again that comes back to last week of
relying on willpower, thinking it's just a psychological or physiological problem,
all those things. But part of it is like, no,
the label and the belief that you're an addict is
(12:48):
denoting that you're powerless to ever shift it. And that's
where it's like, no, are you open to the possibility
that your brain got fired and wired to use food
addictively and it got fired and wired because of a
series of thoughts and beliefs and behaviors and patterns that
created that compulsion, and that you can unwire it and
rewire something new. But first and foremost you have to
identify like, well, maybe I'm not actually an addict period
(13:09):
end of sentence. Maybe I've just practiced addictively using sugar
and I'm committed to practicing something different.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
It's almost like in a relationship they say these are
the things that you should never say to your partner,
and it's like, you should never say you always do
this or you never do this, because in reality that's
not true. But we should talk to ourselves in that way,
especially when it comes to food. Of like, you can
never stop eating sugar once you start, Well, then if
that's your narrative, that becomes pretty powerful.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Are you always given to sugar when you have it?
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Or you know, it becomes these absolutes that we can't
get away from.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, the absolutes.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, the absolutes. We need to get rid of the absolutes. Absolutely,
we do. Yes, Leanne, where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Absolutely? Absolutely? If you want to let that's your favorite word,
I think I think so, it absolutely might be yes.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
If you want to turn off the part of your
brain that feels obsessed or feels addicted to sugar and food.
I've literally peeled back the curtain and the system that
I teach my clients, the stressles seeding system over at
stresslesseding dot com.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
You can check out the free preview.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
And Leanne Ellington on social media and another podcast Leanne
has where it's just hers called What's God Got to
Do with It? And then I am at Radio Amy
on socials and I'll see you on Tuesday for the
Fifth Thing with Therapy Cat and then on Thursday for
four Things, and then Leanne on I will be back.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
For part three of this b SV free Right. Part
three will be next Saturday. Bye bye
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