April 13, 2024 • 17 mins
OUTWEIGH: Leanne is back to continue the conversation from last week and dives deeper into the question of "Does it ever get easier?". She argues that restrictive diets and intense exercise plans create a cycle of difficulty and ultimately fail because they train your brain for "hard work" instead of training it for"ease."
This week Leanne literally shares a step-by-step checklist for how you can make sure your brain is focusing on creating "ease" by practicing behaviors that are enjoyable, sustainable, and create a sense of freedom. You can take this "checklist" of practices that cultivate ease (flexibility, consistency, happiness) contrasted with practices that reinforce difficulty (control, pain, guilt) to make sure that YOUR brain is set up for success.
By understanding these two categories (when your brain is practicing EASE vs. when your brain is practicing HARD), you can choose the path of least resistance which leads to lasting change and a more peaceful relationship with food and your body.
HOST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about how to turn off the part of your brain that’s obsessed with food or obsessed with your weight and rewire your own brain for peace and freedom,....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be out wait everything
that I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning love who I am, I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way if.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You feel it. But she'll some love to the vio.
Why get there? Say go one day? Ana? Did you
and die out way? Happy Saturday, out weigh.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm Leanne Ellington, and we are back to follow up
last week's conversation, which was all around this common question
that I get asked all the time, which is does
it get easier? And that is the million dollar question
that really doesn't have a simple answer, but we are
definitely going to simplify it as much as we possibly can.
So last week we started this important conversation and this
(00:59):
week I want a more or less give you a
checklist that you can literally use to make sure that
you're teaching your brain ease instead of inadvertently or accidentally
teaching it to work harder. So let's just start there,
shall we, So instead of making it so hard and
so complex, because let's be honest, there is so much
information that confuses us out there nowadays, and let's be honest,
(01:22):
everyone is an air quotes expert nowadays too, and of
course I'm putting expert in air quotes, but to boot,
every expert is telling you something different to do. And
you know, maybe it's count carbs or count calories, or
fake it till you make it, or work harder at
the gym, and this just confuses the daylights out of us, right,
And the general theme is that the world is throwing
(01:43):
more diets and exercise plans at a deeper problem. And
if you're anything like I was, you might still be
trying to outdiet or outsmart a deeper problem. And there's
no shame in that whatsoever. That's why we're having these conversations.
But it's also no wonder that one of the most
common questions I get asked by, you know, women like you,
(02:03):
stressed out dieters, people that are sick of thinking about
food is leanne does it ever get easier? And so
why is it that you're going strong and then life
happens and the slope just gets slippery again, And why.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Doesn't your brain just keep the path?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
So let's talk about making it simpler and easier, but
in a way that your brain actually deems easier, so
that we can stop teaching our brains to do things
the hard way, as in, really take the time and
energy one time to teach your brain a new language
and a new way of thinking.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
But it's a language that.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Gets easier the more you practice it, and you get
better at it the more you practice it, so that
it just becomes who you are versus dieting just gets harder,
you get worse at it, and we never get good
at it. Right, So let's talk about that kind of
thinking for a change, the kind that gets easier. And
my simple answer to the question of does it get
(03:02):
easier is yes and no, depending on how you look
at it. So yes, it gets easier if you're practicing ease,
and no, it never gets easier if you're always practicing hard.
And that's why it's so important that you know which
one you're practicing, because, as you've learned from everything that
we talk about here on this podcast, your brain gets
(03:24):
good at whatever we practice. So if you are making
things harder, it's because you're practicing it in a hard way, right,
And all you need is some awareness, awareness of how
you are practicing the hard way. And really, when I
say the hard way, this is how your brain sees it,
so that you can shift over to practicing the easy way,
as in how your brain and nervous system also sees it.
(03:47):
So let's take a look at all the ways in
which you might actually be practicing hard. So the first
one is control. So this includes things like restriction, deprivation, punishment, persuasion,
so the counting, the wigh, the measuring, the micromanaging, the obsession. Okay,
that's number one control. Next we have pain.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Okay, so this.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Means physical, mental, or emotional pain. It might even mean
social or spiritual pain. Right, Practicing anything that is soul sucking,
energy robbing, smile stealing, stress inducing, or that you outright
do not like or do not enjoy. You're practicing hard
anything that causes And this is number three. Internal discord. Okay,
(04:31):
So this includes experiencing guilt or shame or blame. Maybe
you're experiencing a lot of comparisonitis or perfectionism or judgment.
Maybe it's just self criticism, right, and there's definitely we
talk about that a lot on this podcast. But that
internal discord, if that's what you're practicing, you're practicing hard.
Number four is extremism. So this means all the black white,
(04:54):
all in, all out mentality, rightly, like you're either all
in or you're all out, using language labeling things as
good bad, right?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Wrong? Should? Should it? Always? Never?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Or committing to anything that causes you to sacrifice your happiness,
peace of mind, or freedom for results. Okay, So if
you have extremism built into your plan, you're practicing hard,
your brain will never get good at it. Number five
too fast or too much? Okay, So that might be
that zero to sixty mentality like too much, too soon,
(05:28):
or unsustainable expectations or unrealistic expectations, so you know that
lose twenty pounds and twenty minutes kind of thought process,
or again, just that zero to sixty mentality. So if
it's too fast or too much, you're practicing hard. But
also the flip side number six, if it's too slow
or too little. Okay, So this might show up in
the form of being kind of non committal, right or
(05:51):
maybe you're dabbling in a bunch of things and you're
staying like interested in it, but you've never committed to it,
like you've never fully committed to solving the problem, and
then in turn, you're living in the gray, so you're
like you're not in, but you're not fully out either.
And for me, honestly, sometimes like living in the gray
feels harder than when I'm totally off, you know, or
(06:12):
when I'm out, or when I'm done, or when I'm resigned.
So too slow or too little could be considered hard
to your brain. The other way you practice hard is
if something has and this is number seven, diminishing return.
So anything that gets harder the more we practice it,
or it just never gets easy, or anything that we
get worse at the more that we practice it, or
(06:33):
we just never seem to get good at it, you're
going to get those diminishing returns. And it's never going
to be the air quotes thing that's going to heal
your struggles. Right, And so those are seven main things
that your brain could be doing that's practicing hard.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
And this is not the only list, right, this.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Is not the the you know, cumulative, end all, be
all list. There's other things that are not on this list,
but these are the most common and honestly the most
sneaky and the easiest traps to fall into if you're
not aware Luckily, though, you are now aware of all
of those ways that you.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Can practice hard.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
So now let's take a look at what does your
brain need to practice easy or practice ease? Okay, so
number one is freedom. So this is about feeling like
we have a choice or an abundance of choices, right,
feeling like we have influence over ourselves and our behaviors
(07:28):
rather than those behaviors controlling us, or feeling like our
brain controls us or food controls us.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Feeling free, like not chained or confined by rules and
restrictions and especially diets. Right, So your brain needs to
practice freedom, which is again the opposite of choice being
taken away from you. Number two, though, might sound a
little bit counterintuitive now that I just said freedom, But
number two is actually structure. Okay, so here's the reality.
(07:56):
Our brains desire and crave predictability and structure. Our brains
want to know that we can like count on it,
like count on a system or like a plan.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Right, But this is very different.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
The idea of structure is very different than control or
hard and fast rules or feeling imprisoned by that structure. Right,
And so the best structure for your brain is going
to be based on principles and thought processes that are
in alignment with you and your values, but that also
(08:29):
make you feel free. Remember that, like I was saying,
too much control, and your inner rebel will chime in
and have a field day and be like, nope, we
are not doing that. So just a little side note,
One of the things I talk about with my clients
right before they graduate so we can really hone in
their recipe is this idea of like, how can we
give you the structure that your brain needs, but with
freedom built into the beginning, so you're getting that happy medium.
(08:52):
And it really is like a delicate dance. It's a
recipe that you need to create.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Okay. So number two is structure. Number three is flexibility.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Okay, And so we can't feel totally confined in or
boxed in by that structure. It has to allow us
to also experience freedom while we go and enable us
to adapt to our lives as we go. And that's why,
you know, flexibility is the opposite of hard and fast rules.
And when you're in that black and white, all or
nothing mindset, flexibility doesn't look like a good thing. It
(09:23):
looks like you air quotes fell off the wagon. And
so that's why it's like we've got to get aligned
with this concept of like no flexibility is part of
it from the beginning, or else this plan isn't going
to work for me. Right, So number three is flexibility.
Number four is consistency. Okay, So if you're not able
to get yourself to do it consistency consistently, I should say,
(09:43):
you are never going to get the returns. You're not
going to get the return on your investment of time
and energy and heart and soul. Right, And so you're
better off working in minimums as opposed to maximums zero
to sixty and working in minimums in small steps and
baby steps and small doses and doing thing things consistently
rather than working in maximums and doing it sporadically or
(10:05):
let's be honest, not doing it at all. And so
consistency trump's intensity all day, every day. So it's consistency
over intensity, which is obviously not a lot of what
we're doing. A lot of times people are really thinking
that intensity is the way.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Like that go harder, go home kind of mindset.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
And you know, consistency is the key, and consistency over
intensity is the key. Which is the opposite of what
most people are doing, and definitely the opposite of like
diets and like the weight loss mentality and stuff like that.
So consistency is number four. Sustainability. Okay, anything that we
can see ourselves doing not just a week from now,
(10:43):
but a month from now, three months from now, twelve
months from now, right, and anything that doesn't fit into
this category is bound to be a time limited thing
and will eventually.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Get harder the more we practice it, right.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
And so one of the things I talk to my
clients about is like, first of all, I do care,
Like I'm like, yes, I care about the short run,
Like I want you to be happy in the short run.
But like, instead of thinking about, you know, forty five
or fifty five year old version of you, who do
you want to be and how do you want to
be feeling at sixty five seventy five, let's get optimistic
one hundred and five so that you're not thinking about
this and you can deal with this now and not
have to live in it forever. Live like working on
(11:19):
this forever, because let's be honest, most of the people
I talk to, they're like, leanne, I have been thinking
about this for so many years. I've been trying to
figure it out for years, like I just want to
be done right. And that's where I invite you to
start thinking ahead, like not just what you could do
sustain like right now. And there is a time and
a place. There's short term experiments where you can say, Okay,
I'm going to do this. It's not a forever thing.
I'm just gonna do it for three days. But a
(11:41):
lot of women aren't thinking like that, in like they
just commit to the next diet, the next diet, and
they don't think about, like, who do I want to
be a year, five years, ten years from now, so
that I'm not dealing with this anymore. And that's where
the sustainability piece of the puzzle comes into play. Number
six is practicality, and so it fits within the constructs
of our lives and our circumstances and our wants and
(12:03):
our needs as opposed to trying to force it or
overhaul our life right. And so anything that forces us
to uproot our lives or sacrifice the things that are
important to us is not going to be part of
a long term solution.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
And it will never get easier the more you practice it.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Which is again the definition of what your brain needs
to consider something easy like does it get easier the
more I practice it?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Right?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Number seven And a lot of people don't think about this,
but it's really important.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Is happiness.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Anything that adds joy or ease or peace or happiness
or creates energy is what your brain needs.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Now here's the thing. It might not always be like.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Pie in the sky, like happy dance joyful, right, but
it just can't, at the very least take it away.
So if anything is taking away your happiness or making
you miserable beyond the scope of this episode, it's creating
something called negative neuro associations, and your brain will never
learn it long term. And then number eight, I think
is one of the most like important ones, but it's
(13:01):
also kind of the simplest is it's got to create
actual habit creation. Okay, And here's what I mean by
that again, And you might think I sound like a
broken record, but it's so important. Anything that gets easier
the more we practice it, or maybe it's easy from
day one, and anything that we get better at it
the more we practice it, or that maybe we just
start off good at it.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
This is what's going to enable us.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
To keep practicing it and get the consistency and get
the reps that you actually need to create a habit. Right,
and that is how you practice ease. And if you're
anything like me, and remember I was dieting since I
was a kid, this is not the stuff that usually
comes alongside dieting or thinking about food twenty four to seven, right,
(13:42):
that the other list when we're talking about all the
ways you practice hard, that's what comes alongside that, right,
And that's why you need a whole new way of
thinking and a really you know, taking a radically different approach,
which again might seem foreign to a lot of women
listening to this right now. Right, But here's also an
important side note, and I'll get kind of geeky, but
not too geeky. On a brain level, short term habits
(14:05):
and those long term like always have them, actually become
a habit in your brain kind of habits. Short term
and long term habits live in two separate parts of
your brain. And so the long term part of your
brain is driven by ease and pleasure or at least
can't be experiencing pain. And when your brain experiences the
opposite of those things, So if it's experiencing you know,
(14:27):
resistance or force or persuasion, like you're persuading yourself to
do or not do something, or eat or not eat something,
or constant hunger for example. Right, that's another example of
you know, hard, your brain is essentially going to say, like,
don't worry, brain, we don't have to move this over
to the long term storage part of our brain. She's
not going to be doing that very long, right, And
nine times out of ten your brain would be right, right,
(14:49):
unless you're just eking out willpower to do it. So again,
it's just science, right. And that's when it comes to
that question of does it ever get easier? Well, again,
the answer is yes and no. It gets easier if
you practice easier, and it never gets easier if you're
practicing harder. And so we become whatever we practice, and
(15:10):
it really does become a matter of what are you practicing?
Are you practicing ease or are you practicing hard? And yeah, again,
you can go play the focus on your physical appearance
game over and over again and never break the cycle,
or you can do what we're doing right here and
just really change your thinking so that you can get
different results. But if you want to do differently and
(15:32):
behave differently. You must think and believe differently. It really
is as simple as that, and the truth is and
there's no shame in it. But most women won't do
this right. Most women go start looking for the next
diet or the next game of control myself, or the
next you know, action item they can check off like
a tick box.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Right. But those that do.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
That, like stop the definition of insanity of you know,
doing the same things over and over again and expecting
different results, they're the ones that are going to find
that the journey to healing actually begins and the suffering
ends and all of the good stuff that comes on
the other side of healing that road can finally begin.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
So that is it for today, outweigh and if.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
You want to learn more about how to turn off
the part of your brain that's obsessed with food or
obsessed with your weight and rewire your own brain for
peace and freedom, then head on over to Stressless Eating
dot com and sign up to watch the Stressless Eating
sneak preview, where I've literally peeled back the curtain and
walked you through the exact strategy I teach my clients
(16:35):
to heal themselves from the all or nothing diet mentality
for good but without restricting themselves or punishing their bodies,
and definitely without ever having to use words like macros,
low carb or calorie burn. And so it is there
for you over at Stressless Eating dot com.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
And if you like, outweigh.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I actually have another podcast here on iHeart where I
talk about all of this self image and body image stuff,
but from the perspective of where brain science intersects faith and.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
So it's called What's God Got to Do With It?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
And you can access it here on iHeart or wherever
you get your podcasts. So that's it for today. I'm
Leahne Ellington and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
I won't let my body out be out wait everything
that I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning love who I am, I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way if.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You feel it. But she'll some love to the vio.
Why get there? Say go one day? Ana? Did you
and die out way? Happy Saturday, out weigh.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm Leanne Ellington, and we are back to follow up
last week's conversation, which was all around this common question
that I get asked all the time, which is does
it get easier? And that is the million dollar question
that really doesn't have a simple answer, but we are
definitely going to simplify it as much as we possibly can.
So last week we started this important conversation and this
(00:59):
week I want a more or less give you a
checklist that you can literally use to make sure that
you're teaching your brain ease instead of inadvertently or accidentally
teaching it to work harder. So let's just start there,
shall we, So instead of making it so hard and
so complex, because let's be honest, there is so much
information that confuses us out there nowadays, and let's be honest,
(01:22):
everyone is an air quotes expert nowadays too, and of
course I'm putting expert in air quotes, but to boot,
every expert is telling you something different to do. And
you know, maybe it's count carbs or count calories, or
fake it till you make it, or work harder at
the gym, and this just confuses the daylights out of us, right,
And the general theme is that the world is throwing
(01:43):
more diets and exercise plans at a deeper problem. And
if you're anything like I was, you might still be
trying to outdiet or outsmart a deeper problem. And there's
no shame in that whatsoever. That's why we're having these conversations.
But it's also no wonder that one of the most
common questions I get asked by, you know, women like you,
(02:03):
stressed out dieters, people that are sick of thinking about
food is leanne does it ever get easier? And so
why is it that you're going strong and then life
happens and the slope just gets slippery again, And why.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Doesn't your brain just keep the path?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
So let's talk about making it simpler and easier, but
in a way that your brain actually deems easier, so
that we can stop teaching our brains to do things
the hard way, as in, really take the time and
energy one time to teach your brain a new language
and a new way of thinking.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
But it's a language that.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Gets easier the more you practice it, and you get
better at it the more you practice it, so that
it just becomes who you are versus dieting just gets harder,
you get worse at it, and we never get good
at it. Right, So let's talk about that kind of
thinking for a change, the kind that gets easier. And
my simple answer to the question of does it get
(03:02):
easier is yes and no, depending on how you look
at it. So yes, it gets easier if you're practicing ease,
and no, it never gets easier if you're always practicing hard.
And that's why it's so important that you know which
one you're practicing, because, as you've learned from everything that
we talk about here on this podcast, your brain gets
(03:24):
good at whatever we practice. So if you are making
things harder, it's because you're practicing it in a hard way, right,
And all you need is some awareness, awareness of how
you are practicing the hard way. And really, when I
say the hard way, this is how your brain sees it,
so that you can shift over to practicing the easy way,
as in how your brain and nervous system also sees it.
(03:47):
So let's take a look at all the ways in
which you might actually be practicing hard. So the first
one is control. So this includes things like restriction, deprivation, punishment, persuasion,
so the counting, the wigh, the measuring, the micromanaging, the obsession. Okay,
that's number one control. Next we have pain.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Okay, so this.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Means physical, mental, or emotional pain. It might even mean
social or spiritual pain. Right, Practicing anything that is soul sucking,
energy robbing, smile stealing, stress inducing, or that you outright
do not like or do not enjoy. You're practicing hard
anything that causes And this is number three. Internal discord. Okay,
(04:31):
So this includes experiencing guilt or shame or blame. Maybe
you're experiencing a lot of comparisonitis or perfectionism or judgment.
Maybe it's just self criticism, right, and there's definitely we
talk about that a lot on this podcast. But that
internal discord, if that's what you're practicing, you're practicing hard.
Number four is extremism. So this means all the black white,
(04:54):
all in, all out mentality, rightly, like you're either all
in or you're all out, using language labeling things as
good bad, right?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Wrong? Should? Should it? Always? Never?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Or committing to anything that causes you to sacrifice your happiness,
peace of mind, or freedom for results. Okay, So if
you have extremism built into your plan, you're practicing hard,
your brain will never get good at it. Number five
too fast or too much? Okay, So that might be
that zero to sixty mentality like too much, too soon,
(05:28):
or unsustainable expectations or unrealistic expectations, so you know that
lose twenty pounds and twenty minutes kind of thought process,
or again, just that zero to sixty mentality. So if
it's too fast or too much, you're practicing hard. But
also the flip side number six, if it's too slow
or too little. Okay, So this might show up in
the form of being kind of non committal, right or
(05:51):
maybe you're dabbling in a bunch of things and you're
staying like interested in it, but you've never committed to it,
like you've never fully committed to solving the problem, and
then in turn, you're living in the gray, so you're
like you're not in, but you're not fully out either.
And for me, honestly, sometimes like living in the gray
feels harder than when I'm totally off, you know, or
(06:12):
when I'm out, or when I'm done, or when I'm resigned.
So too slow or too little could be considered hard
to your brain. The other way you practice hard is
if something has and this is number seven, diminishing return.
So anything that gets harder the more we practice it,
or it just never gets easy, or anything that we
get worse at the more that we practice it, or
(06:33):
we just never seem to get good at it, you're
going to get those diminishing returns. And it's never going
to be the air quotes thing that's going to heal
your struggles. Right, And so those are seven main things
that your brain could be doing that's practicing hard.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
And this is not the only list, right, this.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Is not the the you know, cumulative, end all, be
all list. There's other things that are not on this list,
but these are the most common and honestly the most
sneaky and the easiest traps to fall into if you're
not aware Luckily, though, you are now aware of all
of those ways that you.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Can practice hard.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
So now let's take a look at what does your
brain need to practice easy or practice ease? Okay, so
number one is freedom. So this is about feeling like
we have a choice or an abundance of choices, right,
feeling like we have influence over ourselves and our behaviors
(07:28):
rather than those behaviors controlling us, or feeling like our
brain controls us or food controls us.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Feeling free, like not chained or confined by rules and
restrictions and especially diets. Right, So your brain needs to
practice freedom, which is again the opposite of choice being
taken away from you. Number two, though, might sound a
little bit counterintuitive now that I just said freedom, But
number two is actually structure. Okay, so here's the reality.
(07:56):
Our brains desire and crave predictability and structure. Our brains
want to know that we can like count on it,
like count on a system or like a plan.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Right, But this is very different.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
The idea of structure is very different than control or
hard and fast rules or feeling imprisoned by that structure. Right,
And so the best structure for your brain is going
to be based on principles and thought processes that are
in alignment with you and your values, but that also
(08:29):
make you feel free. Remember that, like I was saying,
too much control, and your inner rebel will chime in
and have a field day and be like, nope, we
are not doing that. So just a little side note,
One of the things I talk about with my clients
right before they graduate so we can really hone in
their recipe is this idea of like, how can we
give you the structure that your brain needs, but with
freedom built into the beginning, so you're getting that happy medium.
(08:52):
And it really is like a delicate dance. It's a
recipe that you need to create.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Okay. So number two is structure. Number three is flexibility.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Okay, And so we can't feel totally confined in or
boxed in by that structure. It has to allow us
to also experience freedom while we go and enable us
to adapt to our lives as we go. And that's why,
you know, flexibility is the opposite of hard and fast rules.
And when you're in that black and white, all or
nothing mindset, flexibility doesn't look like a good thing. It
(09:23):
looks like you air quotes fell off the wagon. And
so that's why it's like we've got to get aligned
with this concept of like no flexibility is part of
it from the beginning, or else this plan isn't going
to work for me. Right, So number three is flexibility.
Number four is consistency. Okay, So if you're not able
to get yourself to do it consistency consistently, I should say,
(09:43):
you are never going to get the returns. You're not
going to get the return on your investment of time
and energy and heart and soul. Right, And so you're
better off working in minimums as opposed to maximums zero
to sixty and working in minimums in small steps and
baby steps and small doses and doing thing things consistently
rather than working in maximums and doing it sporadically or
(10:05):
let's be honest, not doing it at all. And so
consistency trump's intensity all day, every day. So it's consistency
over intensity, which is obviously not a lot of what
we're doing. A lot of times people are really thinking
that intensity is the way.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Like that go harder, go home kind of mindset.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
And you know, consistency is the key, and consistency over
intensity is the key. Which is the opposite of what
most people are doing, and definitely the opposite of like
diets and like the weight loss mentality and stuff like that.
So consistency is number four. Sustainability. Okay, anything that we
can see ourselves doing not just a week from now,
(10:43):
but a month from now, three months from now, twelve
months from now, right, and anything that doesn't fit into
this category is bound to be a time limited thing
and will eventually.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Get harder the more we practice it, right.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
And so one of the things I talk to my
clients about is like, first of all, I do care,
Like I'm like, yes, I care about the short run,
Like I want you to be happy in the short run.
But like, instead of thinking about, you know, forty five
or fifty five year old version of you, who do
you want to be and how do you want to
be feeling at sixty five seventy five, let's get optimistic
one hundred and five so that you're not thinking about
this and you can deal with this now and not
have to live in it forever. Live like working on
(11:19):
this forever, because let's be honest, most of the people
I talk to, they're like, leanne, I have been thinking
about this for so many years. I've been trying to
figure it out for years, like I just want to
be done right. And that's where I invite you to
start thinking ahead, like not just what you could do
sustain like right now. And there is a time and
a place. There's short term experiments where you can say, Okay,
I'm going to do this. It's not a forever thing.
I'm just gonna do it for three days. But a
(11:41):
lot of women aren't thinking like that, in like they
just commit to the next diet, the next diet, and
they don't think about, like, who do I want to
be a year, five years, ten years from now, so
that I'm not dealing with this anymore. And that's where
the sustainability piece of the puzzle comes into play. Number
six is practicality, and so it fits within the constructs
of our lives and our circumstances and our wants and
(12:03):
our needs as opposed to trying to force it or
overhaul our life right. And so anything that forces us
to uproot our lives or sacrifice the things that are
important to us is not going to be part of
a long term solution.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
And it will never get easier the more you practice it.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Which is again the definition of what your brain needs
to consider something easy like does it get easier the
more I practice it?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Right?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Number seven And a lot of people don't think about this,
but it's really important.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Is happiness.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Anything that adds joy or ease or peace or happiness
or creates energy is what your brain needs.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Now here's the thing. It might not always be like.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Pie in the sky, like happy dance joyful, right, but
it just can't, at the very least take it away.
So if anything is taking away your happiness or making
you miserable beyond the scope of this episode, it's creating
something called negative neuro associations, and your brain will never
learn it long term. And then number eight, I think
is one of the most like important ones, but it's
(13:01):
also kind of the simplest is it's got to create
actual habit creation. Okay, And here's what I mean by
that again, And you might think I sound like a
broken record, but it's so important. Anything that gets easier
the more we practice it, or maybe it's easy from
day one, and anything that we get better at it
the more we practice it, or that maybe we just
start off good at it.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
This is what's going to enable us.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
To keep practicing it and get the consistency and get
the reps that you actually need to create a habit. Right,
and that is how you practice ease. And if you're
anything like me, and remember I was dieting since I
was a kid, this is not the stuff that usually
comes alongside dieting or thinking about food twenty four to seven, right,
(13:42):
that the other list when we're talking about all the
ways you practice hard, that's what comes alongside that, right,
And that's why you need a whole new way of
thinking and a really you know, taking a radically different approach,
which again might seem foreign to a lot of women
listening to this right now. Right, But here's also an
important side note, and I'll get kind of geeky, but
not too geeky. On a brain level, short term habits
(14:05):
and those long term like always have them, actually become
a habit in your brain kind of habits. Short term
and long term habits live in two separate parts of
your brain. And so the long term part of your
brain is driven by ease and pleasure or at least
can't be experiencing pain. And when your brain experiences the
opposite of those things, So if it's experiencing you know,
(14:27):
resistance or force or persuasion, like you're persuading yourself to
do or not do something, or eat or not eat something,
or constant hunger for example. Right, that's another example of
you know, hard, your brain is essentially going to say, like,
don't worry, brain, we don't have to move this over
to the long term storage part of our brain. She's
not going to be doing that very long, right, And
nine times out of ten your brain would be right, right,
(14:49):
unless you're just eking out willpower to do it. So again,
it's just science, right. And that's when it comes to
that question of does it ever get easier? Well, again,
the answer is yes and no. It gets easier if
you practice easier, and it never gets easier if you're
practicing harder. And so we become whatever we practice, and
(15:10):
it really does become a matter of what are you practicing?
Are you practicing ease or are you practicing hard? And yeah, again,
you can go play the focus on your physical appearance
game over and over again and never break the cycle,
or you can do what we're doing right here and
just really change your thinking so that you can get
different results. But if you want to do differently and
(15:32):
behave differently. You must think and believe differently. It really
is as simple as that, and the truth is and
there's no shame in it. But most women won't do
this right. Most women go start looking for the next
diet or the next game of control myself, or the
next you know, action item they can check off like
a tick box.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Right. But those that do.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
That, like stop the definition of insanity of you know,
doing the same things over and over again and expecting
different results, they're the ones that are going to find
that the journey to healing actually begins and the suffering
ends and all of the good stuff that comes on
the other side of healing that road can finally begin.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
So that is it for today, outweigh and if.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
You want to learn more about how to turn off
the part of your brain that's obsessed with food or
obsessed with your weight and rewire your own brain for
peace and freedom, then head on over to Stressless Eating
dot com and sign up to watch the Stressless Eating
sneak preview, where I've literally peeled back the curtain and
walked you through the exact strategy I teach my clients
(16:35):
to heal themselves from the all or nothing diet mentality
for good but without restricting themselves or punishing their bodies,
and definitely without ever having to use words like macros,
low carb or calorie burn. And so it is there
for you over at Stressless Eating dot com.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
And if you like, outweigh.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I actually have another podcast here on iHeart where I
talk about all of this self image and body image stuff,
but from the perspective of where brain science intersects faith and.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
So it's called What's God Got to Do With It?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
And you can access it here on iHeart or wherever
you get your podcasts. So that's it for today. I'm
Leahne Ellington and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
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