April 23, 2024 • 39 mins
Amy & Kat talk about everything from Amy's new co-parenting dynamic (dating) to 'rest corners' to Taylor's new album to podcast tour to a very cool listener email (from Sandy) about 'signs from the other side' to today's quote: "We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.” which then led to Amy sharing that she channeled her younger self this past weekend....driving around with the windows down blasting music (Shaboozey to be specific!) & they chat about so much more....hope you enjoy it like it's you and your girlfriends hanging out!
Have the day you need to have!
PRE-ORDER Ally Fallon's Book 'Write Your Story' HERE
Watch Shaboozey's music video for 'A Bar Song' HERE & you'll for sure get addicted to this song like Amy!
Check out Leigh Hetherington Music HERE (the woman that came up to Amy while eating lunch)
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Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Defatta // @Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat And today's quote is from George Bernard Shaw,
who's an Irish playwright and critic. At least that's what
his credentials were. When I saw this quote.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
You're so worldly and smart.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I know, I know, I know. So we don't stop
playing because we grow old. We grow old because we
stopped playing. Ooh, I know George.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
He's so deep. He always know what to say, he.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Does, he always has the right words. And that made
me think of this past weekend. I drove around with
my windows down and my dog her head out the window,
and I was blasting Showboozy. Do you know Shaboozy? His
song right now, it's called a bar song in parentheses tipsy. Now,
do you recall the song from two thousand and four
(00:53):
by Jaquan Everybody in the club getting tipsy, everybody clucking tipsy.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, but I thought that song was everybody in the
club getting tips.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Oh like money. Okay, Well that's okay. I mean, I've
confused lyrics before a lot, and I think that's actually
super cute that you thought that. But it's tipsy, so
everybody in the club get Tipsy and so this is
a song. It's sort of a tiny sampling of that,
(01:26):
but I'm obsessed with it. It is a jam. I
went to lunch today with Gracie and Ali, and when
we were leaving, I said, hey, on y'all's ride home,
rolled down your windows, turn on Shaboozi, a bar song,
and they hadn't heard of it, and they both texted
me about an hour ago and they're like, this song
is so awesome. And then we were throwing out songs
to each other to listen to, because I guess Gracie
(01:49):
she's just in a season of life where she's been
listening to Miley Cyrus The Climb.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
We all have a season that we do that.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So she said, listen to The Climb with the windows down,
and then Ali said, and listen to Casey Musgrave's Deeper
Well with the windows down. And so for me driving
around this last weekend with Shaboozi and my windows down
and just singing at the top of my lungs, which
I can't wait for you to listen to the song.
But instead of the club, he's like everybody in the
(02:17):
bog and Tipsy yaw me and Jack Daniel's got a
history and then he's like the full to the three
to the Anyway, we can't play music on podcasts, so
I would just play it for you because that would
be really fun, but then the episode would get taken
down or I get fine, and I don't want to
deal with that. So Shahboozy a bar song. But that
felt like me being playful and being young and being
(02:40):
wild and free, and it was speaking of free, it
was free. I just went and got in my car.
I mean the gas, but I drove around. The weather
was great, the windows are down, and it felt so good.
And so that was my little story that had to
do with that quote. But then also didn't know if
you had a song that you're listening to on repeat
(03:01):
right now.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Well, I don't have a song right now that I Well,
I do have a song I've been playing on repeat.
But that's my thing that I actually have an issue with.
I don't know if you do this, but when I
find a song I like, I will listen to that
song only for a very long time until I hate it.
So I'm working on not doing that. But anyway, I
am not a Taylor Swift fan. I guess I'm not
(03:24):
not a Taylor Swift fan, but I'm not a fan.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm a Swifty.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I'm not a Swifty. I like her music, but I
got some for some reason, like interested in this album
and I can't get the I don't know the name
of the song is called, but the my boy only
Breaks his Favorite toys stuck in my head, just that line.
It's the only line line I know. But I cannot
stop hearing that in my head at work all day.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I literally think that's the title cat it's my boy
only Breaks his Favorite toys lyrics, right.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I got the title of the song second my head.
But I also have been allowing myself to get sucked
into that Taylor Shoff universe. And usually I'm like, oh,
I don't care if that's too complicated. Her life is
too complicated. But it's kind of been fun to listen
to the songs and be like, I wonder who this
is about?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Do you know what I did this weekend? Regarding that,
I watched a girl on YouTube host a little listening party.
But similar to podcasting, you can't play the music or
her video would get flagged or taken down, So I
watched her with headphones on give play by play reaction
to each song as she's listening to them, and then
(04:41):
she starts just saying the lyrics. That way she doesn't
get in trouble. And she went song by song, and
about twenty two minutes in, I thought, what am I
doing right now? But I was very invested, and like you,
I was just fascinated with watching this swifty. She was hardcore,
so she had her own insight and thoughts, and even
(05:04):
as a swifty though she's she said, I have to
admit right now, I'm not loving this as much as
I have other albums, other songs like she just wasn't
as into it as she thought she was gonna be.
So I appreciated her honesty, which then made me think, well,
I can probably trust more of what she's saying. And
I just kept watching her. I don't know how old
(05:25):
she is or she looked young, and she was on
a twin bed with like posters finder but she seemed adult.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Went with the butterfly stickers on her ceiling.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, you know, YouTube, The Internet's tricky, you know, you
don't know. I feel like also Taylor fans, it's such
a wide variety, like a wide range of people. Maybe
not so much variety, but wide range of age.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Well, we were listening to one of the songs in
the car, Patrick, and she said a curse word and
he was like, uh, I can't believe she said that.
And I was like why and he was like, well,
there's young kids listening to this, and I was like,
Taylor left. It is like thirty four. I think she's
allowed to curse and she's not making like songs for
the Disney Channel anymore. But he was shocked by the
(06:19):
fact that she used a curse word. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I think that artists are allowed to evolve as they
mature and grow up, and she's actually done a really
good job of doing that. It's like she didn't have
to swing so far the other direction. It's almost like
speaking of Disney, which Taylor wasn't a Disney person, but
she did get famous at fourteen fifteen, sixteen years old
when she really started to pursue and then get a
(06:43):
song on radio. And so she's a young artist to
where she had young fans, but like Miley Cyrus was
on the Disney Channel, very young fans. But then she
swung the complete other direction to where you're like whoa, okay, yeah,
which you know that's she's an artist, she gets to
do that. I think Miley is super talented. But yeah, Taylor,
(07:05):
she sort of has sort of swung her own way,
but it hasn't been dramatic or drastic, and she definitely
puts it all out there and it is interesting to
dissect and figure out and then see where you fit
in or how. I mean, she's a lyrical genius. I
do have an email to read from Sandy. We'll switch
things up here, but Sandy is writing in about signs
(07:29):
because Gracie Moechler was my guest last Thursday and we
were talking about signs. I had seen a cardinal which
led to me selling my house. Now, if you just
hear those two things, it sounds crazy, which I shared
it on the Bobby Boncher two and they have made
me realize how cuckoo that sounds. But for me, if
(07:50):
you know the whole story, it's not crazy at all.
I have asked for signs. I believe in signs. My
mom has passed away. I believe she shows up and
signs for me as a cardinal. My dad a blue Jay.
Now do I know one hundred percent that that is legit? No,
but it gives me peace, and that is all that matters.
And I saw a cardinal in a backyard and he
(08:10):
gave me a piece that I should sell my house.
That is all that matters. I say crazy about it,
other than I'm making a really huge life decision based
on a bird. So this is from Sandy. Hey, Amy,
I hope this email finds you well. I have an
explainable yet very coincidental sign story that I want to share.
Both of my parents had passed away. I went to
(08:32):
a library for a talk on how to attract more
birds to your backyard. Ooo, that sounds like I kind
of talk. It was a great talk and the photos
of the birds that they had were very inspiring. At
this talk, they encouraged everyone to join a bird walk
that they were hosting that coming Saturday morning. It was
early the walk started at eight am. On my way
(08:54):
to the event, I passed a yard sales sign. Who
doesn't love a good yard sale? They were just setting up,
so I planned on stopping on my way back after
the walk. In the middle of this yard sale, on
a table covered in stuff, I literally found a sign
my dad had owned a gas station repair shop many
years ago. Above the door he had a sign Joe
(09:16):
Man Gennaro proprietor. I saw part of his name and thought,
no way, this is going to spell out his name.
I was floored. This is not a common name. I
freaked out, Where did you get this sign? I start
tearing up and the homeowners were very surprised at my
reaction to the sign. They clean out houses for a living.
(09:37):
They just got this sign from my sister's house the
day before. My sister's ex husband had hired them without
my sister knowing. She had moved out already and didn't
realize this was in a box in the basement. I
immediately called her when I left there. She was shocked
as well and asked, what else did you see that
we might want to keep. I now have the sign
(09:57):
hanging in my workshop. I love it. My favorite sign
stories to share have the day you need to have
Sandy and Sandy is emailing from Massachusetts, which I think
that this is so cool because in a way, the
birds led her to the sign. Her dad used birds
just like my mom uses birds, and she wouldn't have
(10:18):
been going that way at that time to see that
if she wasn't headed to the bird walk, which I
didn't know those were a thing, and now I want
to see if they have those where I live at
the local library. And then she saw the sign, and
then what are the odds that all of that would
have happened, like even the ex husband doing it without
her sister who's the ex wife knowing, And then voila,
(10:40):
she comes upon it and she gets to have something
that's like very very special that was part of her
dad's like she was meant to find it that morning.
And then that makes me think of, like, ugh, just exes.
And I would like to say, here to Kat and
anybody else listening, I think that I have driven home
the fact that Ben and I have a really good
relationship because we do co parenting. Our divorce was amicable
(11:04):
and we've handled it well. But I also would like
to say there are hard days, and I don't know
that I really vocalize that because I don't share details
like that, and I'm not going to give any details
because that is not really my thing. But I guess
I just want to express that. I never want to
also paint some picture that Ben and I have it
all figured out and we're honky dory over here and
(11:26):
we don't have hard days, because we definitely do. And
I would imagine that this is a situation in which
her sister is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, You're just hiring
somebody without telling me or giving me a chance to
do that. And communication is so important in relationships, even
with our exes and with our co parenting relationships. Communication
(11:47):
is key because what I will say is I recently
had a rough day. Yeah, and kat I had a
follow up conversation with Ben today about that. We didn't
talk too much about it because we were focusing on
other things, but we did touch on it a smidge
and his response was he texted it wrong, and if
(12:10):
I had read it in the way in which he
intended it, then there would have been no issue. I said, well,
the problem is the way you sent the text. It
only read one way, I think because I showed it
to about five friends and they all agreed confirmation bias, right.
He acknowledged that he definitely sees how that would have
(12:33):
been very difficult to read, and he apologized and asked forgiveness.
So I was very thankful that he noticed it right away.
But it just was one of those things where for
full four days, like I was real fired up about it,
and in a particular moment I was as well. So
I just want to share that.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Well, you know what it's making me think about. It's
making me think about the Sean ne quest and I
guess I haven't learned that yet. Because you guys are walking.
You guys continue to walk through. Every new thing that
you guys are figuring out together is a new thing
that you guys are figuring out. And so as you
guys continue to move through life, and you guys both
(13:14):
go and have your lives outside of each other, outside
of your kids, you guys are going to continue to
have to go through things for the first time.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Well, my thoughts on that are like, he's been texting
for a long time, like text like learning how to
use the words.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I don't mean the texting.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Texting is not new. So words are important and words matter,
and keywords that you leave out of a text could
lead someone to believe a very different message than you
intended to send. And it can be complicated and it
might make that person cry and maybe want to scream
and smash stuff. But you know, it's all good. It's
just because it was.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
A typo or no, it wasn't a typo.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Well, it wasn't a typo. Apparently he was walking out
the door and sending something quickly and he didn't think
to read through do something to where I would like
to say, if it's an important text about the matter
in which that it was, I would take the time
to thoughtfully send the proper words so it cannot be
received in the wrong way. And also, if I was
(14:14):
Taylor Swift, I would have written a song in the
last four days called learn how to Text or Actually,
that wouldn't be the title because I didn't know it
was a text communication mishap. I thought he was quite
literally texting those exact things. So I probably would have
written a song called That's not going to work for me.
(14:35):
That would have been the title of my song, because
it wasn't the situation he was putting me in. If
that is how it is going to be, that is
not going to work for me.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Okay, I agree with you, obviously, you know that I
agree with you. I've heard about this situation. I think
I was saying more on his side, he has not
learned yet. Yes, he knows that a text, but how
sensitive a subject like this is and he didn't take
the time to think about it.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Well, let's just say that he has a girlfriend, and
that is great. I'm very happy for him. But yes,
there are new things that we are now communicating about.
To your point, kat, I guess we just haven't experienced
that yet.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Did you feel like I was trying to be on
his side, No, not at all, Okay, I was just
giving you the update and kind of making a little
bit of a joke of like, well, he learned how
to text.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
I don't know, in like nineteen ninety nine or whatever
text messages came out.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
You're right, it's not gonna work for me.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Probably back when we were jamming out to Jaquan everybody
in the club getting tipsy, he was really honing in
on those texting skills. And here we are twenty years later,
everybody at the bar instead of club.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
I cannot wait for you to listen to Shaboozie.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I love how you made that a full circle moment.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
I saw this whole article that rest corners are becoming
a thing. They're the latest home trend, and I didn't
know if you, as a therapist, have heard of a
rest corner.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
A rest corner is a rebrand for a reading nook,
which is a rebrand for a corner with a chair
in it. Why do we need a name for it.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Well, it's an area devoted to resting. So for some
people they may want to sit there and read. For others,
they may want to work on a puzzle or play
a hobby or like I've been doing these brain games
on my phone and stuff. So maybe you could just
be in a corner. But the point is to have
a cozy blanket, maybe a soft rug. It should be
a dedicated space for this to where you're out of
(16:48):
a high traffic area in your home where maybe there's
not going to be a lot of action. And maybe
you even have a curtain if you want that, like
or it's sectioned off private in a way, and you
can use calming colors, blues. You can maybe even have
a plant, but then you have to keep it alive.
But that's also good because you know it's responsibility and
(17:08):
when you're keeping it alive, Like I have two ferns
that I put in my porch, and then I potted
some plants in the front of my house and they
look so beautiful, and I swear to you every time
I pull it to my house. I'm like, I did that,
and I'm keeping it alive.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I was gonna say, how long are you giving yourself
outdoor plants are hard?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Well, mine are thriving right now, so I would just say,
it's kind of giving me the itch to get an
indoor plant and make it thrive, because most of my
indoor plants are fake, and by most I mean all really.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Okay, I'm going to give you a propagated indoor plant
from my house. Do you know what that means?
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yes, You're going to break it off one of your
plants and give it to me.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
And plant it in a pot and give it to you.
So I had this one plant we took when my
grandma died. We cut off a little piece from a
plant that was in her house when she passed away,
and we grew that into a plant my mom's house.
And then I cut a piece off, and my sister
cut a piece off, and then we put them at
our house. And then I've cut pieces off and given
them as gifts and put them in my office. So
then the plant from my grandma's house now is like
(18:11):
all over the place. You don't have to have that
one if you don't want that one? You want that?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
No, I love that. Okay, maybe my new home, my
new thing will be indoor plants and I'll see how
it helps change the energy of the home.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
And you'll have a rest nook.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yep, a rest corner corner. Okay, I'm going to do that,
and I'm going to sit in that corner. I'm gonna
do soothing hobbies and I'm gonna lounge. I did start
reading a book because it was sent to me an
advanced copy called Arita, and it was sent to the
Bobby Bone Show studio. So I'm not quite sure sometimes
why things get sent to me there. Is it for
(18:49):
the Bobby Bone Show? Is it because they want to
be on my podcast? Or they want to be connected
to Bobby somehow? I'm not sure. But I started reading
it yesterday and I really like it, so I don't
know when it's coming out, and I started to put
together an email to try to get the author on.
His name is Brian Johnson, but he's a former Navy
seal and I don't know how you become a philosopher,
but he says he is.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Is the book not fiction?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah, I would definitely put it in the self help category.
But it's really interesting how he did it because it's thick,
Like when you look at it, you're intimidated, but when
you open it up, you're like, Oh, he has put
a lot of really great concepts ideas like ways to live,
(19:32):
how you can grow as a human and thrive and
be your best and have courage and all the things,
but into bite sized pieces. There's four hundred and fifty
one chapters, if you will, but some of them are
just one page. Oh, and it doesn't have to be
read in order. Now I'm reading it in order. However,
I like that he said, Look, on any given day,
(19:54):
you may flip it open and if you open to
the two hundred and thirtieth chapter, you can read it
as is in it's going to be a nugget for
you that day and you'll be good to go. Now,
if you read it in order, it's going to be great.
But the reason why he did four hundred and fifty
one do you want to know why? I would love
to know carbon and oxygen if they are together at
(20:15):
four hundred and fifty one degrees, that is when there
is fire. Wait, what's the book called Arita? Which Arita
in Greek means excellence.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Oh, I thought that it was a fire.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
And I know your next question is going to be like,
why fire? And now I'm thinking, okay, brain, don't do
this to me right now because I can't remember the
exact reason. I'm proud of myself for remembering that four
hundred and fifty one degrees creates fire, not four hundred
and fifty four hundred and fifty one. But I think
it's because that's what ignites change. Oh, that's just me
(20:50):
from the dome. If Brian Johnson happens to hear this, like,
don't get worked up if I'm not remembering exactly why.
Because there was a lot that I was taking in,
in fact, so much I kept reading, and for me,
I like bite sized stuff like that. I'm like, ooh,
I already finished a chapter. Go meet, It's like I
flipped to the next page. Wow, look at me. I'm
really on a roll.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
How many chapters of your book did you read today?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Well? I read it yesterday and I'm probably gonna read
more tonight. I probably read twenty chapters yesterday and I
get in another twenty five thirty chapters today.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
He knows how to make a girl feel good, especially
one that really doesn't like to read that much. But
I'm getting there, And I thought that that was really interesting.
And now you know, if you ever playing a trivia
game and it's like, what degrees does it need to
be at for carbon and oxygen to create fire? And well,
(21:42):
it's four hundred and fifty one. Do you know the
temperature for water boiling two hundred to twelve? Two hundred
might be a slight simmer, but not boiling.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Two hundred is the degrees in which I heat my
tea up?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Nice. Did you know when you add honey to tea,
you shouldn't add it when it's super hot because because
it'll kill some of the properties that honey has. Really Yeah,
like if you add it to a tea that is
too hot, and you're adding it for benefits other than
just sweetness, because obviously you'll still get that, but honey
has a lot of really amazing qualities and benefits. But
(22:17):
if you put it in the tea and it's way
too hot, then I.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Never would have sent that. However, I don't put honey
in my tea. I just drink it plain.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, I like a little lemon and honey sometimes I
guess it depends on the tea. I've been doing a
nice little Camo mill at night. Maybe i'll have some
tonight when I sit down to read Airta and you're
a nute, I guess you didn't know Airta, which there's
a business here in Nashville that our friend Bobo opened.
It's an IV business, and he named it Irritate. He
(22:48):
always said Arita, but in this book by Brian he
said the air are is r r a ta. So
I'm sure it's just an accent thing however you want
to say it. But I remember years ago Bobo telling
me it meant something in Greek, and so that's what
drew me to actually pick up the book anyways, because
we get a lot of things mailed to us at
(23:09):
the studio, and I don't always take it home right
away and start reading it. But something drew me to
this book, and it was probably the airtay the title
and being like, oh, that's what Bobo named his company.
And then I realized when I was reading the book
that it means excellence. And then I remember Bobo saying
that that is why he wanted to name it his
company name. And because you know when you're getting IV's.
(23:30):
When you feel hydrated, you're performing at your best, like
you're more at a high performance excellence level.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I thought that company's name was like Ari eight or
something like this.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Yeah, well, you just don't know Greek like I do.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I don't, but he did.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
In this book. The author of it, Brian Like he
breaks down words like you know, he'll be like, the
aar means this. There's other words he shared which I
cannot just regurgitate them right now, but he'll be like,
you know the root of this word is eh means
a little, and pit I mean And I'm like, gow,
why am I not that way?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Because he probably studies that and you don't study that.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
He probably doesn't drive her ond listening to Shaboozie on reefeet,
probably not. He did tell this super sweet story about
how he has this little handshake language with his son,
and I thought, I'm gonna try that with my kids,
because you know, they don't really say I love you
(24:31):
or anything like that, because you know, we adopted them.
For anybody who that's listening, they moved here six years
ago and they were eleven and seven when they got here.
And you know, of course Ben and I say I
love you to them all the time, but that's not
something we receive back from them, which is totally okay.
But think they just weren't used to having that and
feeling safe to say it. And what are these weird feelings?
(24:53):
I don't know, but I hope they feel the love, right,
I hope at this point we've created that. I forget
the cute name he for their language, but it's like
they squeeze hands like they're squeeze language, and so he'll
squeeze it like I love you, like squeez squeez, squeeze
or something. But I thought, oh, what if I come
up with a cute way to have like a squeeze
(25:14):
thing with them, of like this is our own language,
and like, hey, if I squeeze their hand twice, it's
like I love you, and then I could just see,
you know, if they squeeze.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
It back, and if you squeeze it three times it
means mom, leave me.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Alone, which is totally fine. And I don't love them
so that they'll love me back, like that's not the point.
I'll love them no matter what. But I don't know.
I just thought when I was reading it, maybe this
could be a way for them to be able to
express something that might be feeling. Or I could even
ask them, you know what if we came up with
a fun way and then I see how they get
involved and they maybe want to communicate with that way,
(25:49):
and you never know. It may even take five years.
But what if five years from now. Can you imagine
if I'm just sitting somewhere and one woe comes up
to me and squeezes my hand twice? Oh, I'd write
a song about it. I wonder if Taylor's ever gonna
have kids.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
I don't listen to enough of her lyrics of her
songs to know, like what.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
I don't know. I guess I just seem curious what
her music might be like when she's super hormonal. Or
I did see this meme about when Taylor goes through menopause,
like these songs people that are watch al.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
But the good thing about those songs is she's They're
all relatable in some way even though they're about her life.
People are like, oh my gosh. So if she does
go through menopause, great because then there'll be a whole
new genre of songs for women who are going through menopause.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
That is true at lunch today with Ali Fallon. We
were talking about, you know, she has her book Write
Your Story coming out on May seventh. About May seventh, Yeah,
and that is what her book is about. I might
be like, well, if I was Taylor Swift, I would
write that, you know, But Taylor, it's very healing for
her to write these songs and put them out there,
(26:53):
and then for a lot of us if you can
relate to certain things anyway, it can be very healing
and therapeutic to listen to it, to go on a
drive the windows down. And you may not be Taylor
Swift listening right now, and you may not be Seana
Niquist or writing a book, but you can write your
own story for yourself. Nobody else has to ever even
(27:14):
read it. And that's what Ali really wants to drive
home with to write your story. Sure, you could write
it and publish it, that's great, but her book is
for everybody, and it's about writing your story for you.
Because after her divorce, which she was married to someone
in the church, like they had a more public relationship
(27:34):
in their community, and it was a very toxic, horribal relationship,
and she was very scared to leave it because she
didn't know what would happen to her. She kind of thought, well,
my life is going to be over. And she was
brave and she did the best thing for herself and
she left that marriage. And later she wrote about it
in a book called Indestructible, and she said it was
(27:57):
the most therapeutic thing she could have done for herself. Now,
she's a writer and an author, so it makes sense
for her to want to do that. But what she
learned in that process is, gosh, this could be so
healing for so many people who maybe even aren't authors.
And so I hope that you know, come May seventh,
if anybody has anything to process or work through, you'll
check out Write Your Story by Ali Fallon. You can
(28:18):
pre order it on Amazon now I'll link it in
the show notes. I've pre ordered it. Are you going
to go to the book launch?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
I'm going out. Yeah, I'm going. I was going to
say I already read the book and I highly recommend it.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yes. Did y'all record an episode? Has it aired yet?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah? It came out like two weeks ago. Yeah. She
was on to talk about that, and just I mean
basically we talked about what you just said and how
powerful it can be. I also am really interested in
the process of writing a book. I might write one,
I might not. But it was also the book. It's
something that I've already had a couple clients pre order
(28:51):
it as well, because I think it will be so
helpful for them. But it also is just interesting because
she gives you a framework in that book of how
to write a story. So you're learning to yourself when
you're learning about the process of stories at the same time.
And I can't say enough good things about it.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
So, Kat, you just said some of your clients have
pre ordered it. Well, someone pre ordered it at lunch
today that we didn't know. But we were having lunch
meet Gracie Allie's were all talking and then this woman
that works where we're eating Urban Market, she came up
and she.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Was so sweet.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
She was like, Hey, I just wanted to say I
listened to the Bobby Bone Show and I wanted to
give you this song. She's a single mom and she
wrote a song about that, and she had a little
QR code and so she gave one to Ali and
Gracie as well. And the album is called Gospel of
the Underdog and her name is Lee Heatherington. I just
(29:54):
pulled it up on YouTube, and she was so sweet
and we were talking about the therapy of music and
her writing that and she wanted to be able to
have music for other women that are going through something hard,
and she had found a women's shelter in Franklin that
she's going to go volunteer at and she's going to
(30:16):
go sing to them, and she was like, I want
to write a song specifically for them, and was like
their little anthem. So clearly she was in a really
difficult relationship and music has helped heal her and writing
and I said, well, Ali is the queen of writing.
She just wrote a book called Write Your Story and
it's coming out and so then she's like, oh my gosh,
(30:36):
thank you for telling me. And then about five minutes
later she circled back around and pulled out her phone
and showed Ali, I just pre ordered your book. And
it was just such a sweet moment of women supporting women,
and especially women that don't even know each other. But
also you just never know the chain of events, sort
of like our email earlier of you never know showing
(30:57):
up to a bird watching thing. Sandy was telling us,
so I decided to go to my local library to
talk about birds. Next thing you know, I'm at a
bird walk on a Saturday, and then I'm at a
garage sale and I see a sign from my dad's office.
Like at all the sequence of events of her well
coming up to say hi to us because she recognized
me from the show. Then her ended up having writing
(31:20):
in common with Allie and then leaving and pre ordering
her book, and then who knows when she gets her
book and she experiences Ali's guidance and how to write
more of your story, it be very therapeutic, and if
she's volunteering at these shelters, she might be able to
help other women write their story, maybe even through song.
I never know. I just felt like it was a
really cool sequence of events that was happening. So I
(31:42):
just wanted to share that because it was just a
really organic story and to pertain to sort of what
we're talking about now. But what do you think you
might write your book about?
Speaker 2 (31:51):
That is a question I don't have an answer to.
I do have a note on my phone that has
just like things that I would want to either write
about or include in a story if I write it.
But I think right now. For me, it's not so
much that I want to write on a specific thing.
It's that I just like the process of writing. I
might like write three books before I even actually write
(32:13):
a book that I would want to share with anybody.
I just like the process of writing. And there are
a lot of things I feel like I have to say,
and I don't like journal it's not like my thing.
But I have a Google Doc on my computer where
when I start having a lot of thoughts, I'll just
like put them in there. There's no rhyme or reason,
there's no organization. It's just thoughts that I put on
a page, and one day I might want to organize those.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I love that well, I can't read to read your book.
If you do do one and put it out or multiple, I'll.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Share my Google doc with you and you can just
read the jumblings that are inside of my head.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Did I tell you I came up with the podcast
tour name?
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Are you going on tour?
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Well? We are, yeah, in the fall, but we don't
have exact dates yet, so that's why you don't know.
But we have an idea for in the which of
course we've been trying to do since last year, but
also you just got to wait till the right time.
Like I think even last year when I did the
two shows in March at Franklin Theater, when we did those,
I don't know that I was even fully ready to
(33:12):
do that. I think we did them and they were great,
But I'm in a much better space now to where
I think we'll give people a better show. But if
you came, it was still great and I loved all
of my guests, and Kat is a part of it
as well. But I think the title of the tour
will be, or the name of the tour will be.
(33:34):
It all makes sense now and in parentheses kind of,
and one day that title will also make sense when
I can expand upon it. But to me, I just
think it's perfect for so many reasons, and I'm really
really really really really excited about it.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I want to say something about that, and I don't.
This is me saying this without even like knowing the
backstory of how you came up with that. I love
that name. Because the first thing I was going to
say is what makes you think that you weren't really
ready for last year when we did those shows, Because
even if you've grown or you've learned more, or you've
expanded more, or whatever however you want to say it.
(34:17):
You still offered what you had at the moment to
the people that you shared it with, and it wasn't nothing.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
You're like, I don't know how to receive this government.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
I'm receiving it with a thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I love that the name of that for so many reasons, because, yeah,
right now we can make sense of what we have.
So I like that, like it's like kinda and then
later things are going to make more sense maybe, And
then later, as we continue to grow and live our lives,
more things start to make more sense and we continue
to gain clarity. So I like that idea of that
(34:49):
title because it's something that can be carried literally forever.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
And it can pertain to serious things and also not
serious things, and stuff that maybe you finally have figured
out from twenty years ago, and maybe stuff that you
figured out from four days ago, because it was a
oh you forgot that keyword in the text. Well it
all makes sense now kind of because we should know
(35:14):
how to communicate at this point, but I'm going to
mess up. So I extended grace to Ben and forgave
him for that, and I would like grace extended to me.
But yeah, it all makes sense, like a trivial thing.
Maybe you know when I had my colors done for
my underlying skin tone, and there are certain colors. When
(35:35):
I would get dressed in the morning before I had
it done, I'd be like, I literally everything about me
is the same except for what I'm wearing. Why am
I struggling to get ready this morning? Or why do
I just look or I can't make this work? Like
I got this really pretty orange dress a couple of
years ago, and I was so excited to wear it.
Kat has on orange right now. Y'all can't see, but
she's wearing orange. She looks very cute in it. But
(35:57):
I also think orange would be one of your colors.
It was actually for Bobby and Caitlin's wedding shower and
I was one of the hosts. So I got a
new dress and it's so cute and I was so
excited to wear it. And when the night came, I
was getting ready and I just couldn't make things work.
And I remember being so not confident, and I thought, well,
this is a huge bummer, because I was super excited
to wear this dress. But then by the time I
(36:19):
got there, I just didn't feel it. But I got
past it. The night wasn't about me. But my point
of this is when I got my skin tone color analysis,
I should never wear orange. Orange is not one of
my colors. Now, I don't know if certain people may
or may not buy into this, but I saw her
do it, and I saw her hold the orange up
to my face, and then I saw her hold other
(36:41):
colors up and all she did was change the color.
Like nothing about my makeup or hair changed, so that
likely could have been it. So it's like, oh, it
all makes sense now. I shouldn't have bought that orange dress.
It all makes sense now. And then there's more extreme
things like some of my struggles with reading and retention
(37:03):
and learning about dyslexia at forty three and getting all
these tests done and realizing that I am on the
spectrum for that. Oh it all makes sense now. Some
of the struggles I had in school and that I
still have, but now I have the knowledge, which is information,
and information is so powerful because then you can start
(37:24):
to implement growth and change. And now I would wear
navy blue to that shower. Obviously that is my power color.
I would wear navy blue or maybe lavender. Before I
got my color analysis with Hannah, which I did a
whole podcast with her, I guess a couple of months ago.
At this point, y'all can go listen to it. But
(37:46):
Hannah House of Color here in Nashville. She's great and
I was a paying customer, and after I had the experience,
I said, will you please come on my podcast because
I find this to be fascinating and like even my makeup,
I ordered some of that. Have you ever used DIBs?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
What that is?
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Jackie who I work with, taught me about it. It's
so great. It's like your desert island beauty, Like these
are the products she would take with you to a
desert island. And so she has this stick somehow some
got sent to me similar to the Airta Like they
just showed up and I loved the feel of it
and it was so easy to put on, and it
came with this brush and it's a like a contour
(38:23):
stick and a blush but in one single tube, like
blush on one end and contour on the other. And
I really was enjoying it. However, because I know my
colors like, this is a little off. It's a little
warm for me, and I'm a cool summer. So I
went to their website and I got on and I
saw the combo that she sells that is for cool undertones,
(38:46):
and I was like, Bam, that's me. So now I
ordered it and I got it in the mail and
it's perfect. I love it. It just made so many
things easier. But just knowing my colors, it all makes
sense now. Maybe I was wearing the wrong makeup.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
That all makes sense. Your whole life makes sense.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Kind of the kind of is key because there's some
stuff that's just not going to make sense, or you
might not know for another handful of years or or longer.
But Ladi Dohadi da, I feel like I con talk
talk talk talk talk today. I don't know why.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Cat.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
On Instagram at kat dot defada and at Unique Therapy podcast.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
And I am at Radio Amy on socials and I
will see you on Thursday for four Things. Bye bye
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat And today's quote is from George Bernard Shaw,
who's an Irish playwright and critic. At least that's what
his credentials were. When I saw this quote.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
You're so worldly and smart.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I know, I know, I know. So we don't stop
playing because we grow old. We grow old because we
stopped playing. Ooh, I know George.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
He's so deep. He always know what to say, he.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Does, he always has the right words. And that made
me think of this past weekend. I drove around with
my windows down and my dog her head out the window,
and I was blasting Showboozy. Do you know Shaboozy? His
song right now, it's called a bar song in parentheses tipsy. Now,
do you recall the song from two thousand and four
(00:53):
by Jaquan Everybody in the club getting tipsy, everybody clucking tipsy.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, but I thought that song was everybody in the
club getting tips.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Oh like money. Okay, Well that's okay. I mean, I've
confused lyrics before a lot, and I think that's actually
super cute that you thought that. But it's tipsy, so
everybody in the club get Tipsy and so this is
a song. It's sort of a tiny sampling of that,
(01:26):
but I'm obsessed with it. It is a jam. I
went to lunch today with Gracie and Ali, and when
we were leaving, I said, hey, on y'all's ride home,
rolled down your windows, turn on Shaboozi, a bar song,
and they hadn't heard of it, and they both texted
me about an hour ago and they're like, this song
is so awesome. And then we were throwing out songs
to each other to listen to, because I guess Gracie
(01:49):
she's just in a season of life where she's been
listening to Miley Cyrus The Climb.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
We all have a season that we do that.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So she said, listen to The Climb with the windows down,
and then Ali said, and listen to Casey Musgrave's Deeper
Well with the windows down. And so for me driving
around this last weekend with Shaboozi and my windows down
and just singing at the top of my lungs, which
I can't wait for you to listen to the song.
But instead of the club, he's like everybody in the
(02:17):
bog and Tipsy yaw me and Jack Daniel's got a
history and then he's like the full to the three
to the Anyway, we can't play music on podcasts, so
I would just play it for you because that would
be really fun, but then the episode would get taken
down or I get fine, and I don't want to
deal with that. So Shahboozy a bar song. But that
felt like me being playful and being young and being
(02:40):
wild and free, and it was speaking of free, it
was free. I just went and got in my car.
I mean the gas, but I drove around. The weather
was great, the windows are down, and it felt so good.
And so that was my little story that had to
do with that quote. But then also didn't know if
you had a song that you're listening to on repeat
(03:01):
right now.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Well, I don't have a song right now that I Well,
I do have a song I've been playing on repeat.
But that's my thing that I actually have an issue with.
I don't know if you do this, but when I
find a song I like, I will listen to that
song only for a very long time until I hate it.
So I'm working on not doing that. But anyway, I
am not a Taylor Swift fan. I guess I'm not
(03:24):
not a Taylor Swift fan, but I'm not a fan.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm a Swifty.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I'm not a Swifty. I like her music, but I
got some for some reason, like interested in this album
and I can't get the I don't know the name
of the song is called, but the my boy only
Breaks his Favorite toys stuck in my head, just that line.
It's the only line line I know. But I cannot
stop hearing that in my head at work all day.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I literally think that's the title cat it's my boy
only Breaks his Favorite toys lyrics, right.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I got the title of the song second my head.
But I also have been allowing myself to get sucked
into that Taylor Shoff universe. And usually I'm like, oh,
I don't care if that's too complicated. Her life is
too complicated. But it's kind of been fun to listen
to the songs and be like, I wonder who this
is about?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Do you know what I did this weekend? Regarding that,
I watched a girl on YouTube host a little listening party.
But similar to podcasting, you can't play the music or
her video would get flagged or taken down, So I
watched her with headphones on give play by play reaction
to each song as she's listening to them, and then
(04:41):
she starts just saying the lyrics. That way she doesn't
get in trouble. And she went song by song, and
about twenty two minutes in, I thought, what am I
doing right now? But I was very invested, and like you,
I was just fascinated with watching this swifty. She was hardcore,
so she had her own insight and thoughts, and even
(05:04):
as a swifty though she's she said, I have to
admit right now, I'm not loving this as much as
I have other albums, other songs like she just wasn't
as into it as she thought she was gonna be.
So I appreciated her honesty, which then made me think, well,
I can probably trust more of what she's saying. And
I just kept watching her. I don't know how old
(05:25):
she is or she looked young, and she was on
a twin bed with like posters finder but she seemed adult.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Went with the butterfly stickers on her ceiling.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, you know, YouTube, The Internet's tricky, you know, you
don't know. I feel like also Taylor fans, it's such
a wide variety, like a wide range of people. Maybe
not so much variety, but wide range of age.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Well, we were listening to one of the songs in
the car, Patrick, and she said a curse word and
he was like, uh, I can't believe she said that.
And I was like why and he was like, well,
there's young kids listening to this, and I was like,
Taylor left. It is like thirty four. I think she's
allowed to curse and she's not making like songs for
the Disney Channel anymore. But he was shocked by the
(06:19):
fact that she used a curse word. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I think that artists are allowed to evolve as they
mature and grow up, and she's actually done a really
good job of doing that. It's like she didn't have
to swing so far the other direction. It's almost like
speaking of Disney, which Taylor wasn't a Disney person, but
she did get famous at fourteen fifteen, sixteen years old
when she really started to pursue and then get a
(06:43):
song on radio. And so she's a young artist to
where she had young fans, but like Miley Cyrus was
on the Disney Channel, very young fans. But then she
swung the complete other direction to where you're like whoa, okay, yeah,
which you know that's she's an artist, she gets to
do that. I think Miley is super talented. But yeah, Taylor,
(07:05):
she sort of has sort of swung her own way,
but it hasn't been dramatic or drastic, and she definitely
puts it all out there and it is interesting to
dissect and figure out and then see where you fit
in or how. I mean, she's a lyrical genius. I
do have an email to read from Sandy. We'll switch
things up here, but Sandy is writing in about signs
(07:29):
because Gracie Moechler was my guest last Thursday and we
were talking about signs. I had seen a cardinal which
led to me selling my house. Now, if you just
hear those two things, it sounds crazy, which I shared
it on the Bobby Boncher two and they have made
me realize how cuckoo that sounds. But for me, if
(07:50):
you know the whole story, it's not crazy at all.
I have asked for signs. I believe in signs. My
mom has passed away. I believe she shows up and
signs for me as a cardinal. My dad a blue Jay.
Now do I know one hundred percent that that is legit? No,
but it gives me peace, and that is all that matters.
And I saw a cardinal in a backyard and he
(08:10):
gave me a piece that I should sell my house.
That is all that matters. I say crazy about it,
other than I'm making a really huge life decision based
on a bird. So this is from Sandy. Hey, Amy,
I hope this email finds you well. I have an
explainable yet very coincidental sign story that I want to share.
Both of my parents had passed away. I went to
(08:32):
a library for a talk on how to attract more
birds to your backyard. Ooo, that sounds like I kind
of talk. It was a great talk and the photos
of the birds that they had were very inspiring. At
this talk, they encouraged everyone to join a bird walk
that they were hosting that coming Saturday morning. It was
early the walk started at eight am. On my way
(08:54):
to the event, I passed a yard sales sign. Who
doesn't love a good yard sale? They were just setting up,
so I planned on stopping on my way back after
the walk. In the middle of this yard sale, on
a table covered in stuff, I literally found a sign
my dad had owned a gas station repair shop many
years ago. Above the door he had a sign Joe
(09:16):
Man Gennaro proprietor. I saw part of his name and thought,
no way, this is going to spell out his name.
I was floored. This is not a common name. I
freaked out, Where did you get this sign? I start
tearing up and the homeowners were very surprised at my
reaction to the sign. They clean out houses for a living.
(09:37):
They just got this sign from my sister's house the
day before. My sister's ex husband had hired them without
my sister knowing. She had moved out already and didn't
realize this was in a box in the basement. I
immediately called her when I left there. She was shocked
as well and asked, what else did you see that
we might want to keep. I now have the sign
(09:57):
hanging in my workshop. I love it. My favorite sign
stories to share have the day you need to have
Sandy and Sandy is emailing from Massachusetts, which I think
that this is so cool because in a way, the
birds led her to the sign. Her dad used birds
just like my mom uses birds, and she wouldn't have
(10:18):
been going that way at that time to see that
if she wasn't headed to the bird walk, which I
didn't know those were a thing, and now I want
to see if they have those where I live at
the local library. And then she saw the sign, and
then what are the odds that all of that would
have happened, like even the ex husband doing it without
her sister who's the ex wife knowing, And then voila,
(10:40):
she comes upon it and she gets to have something
that's like very very special that was part of her
dad's like she was meant to find it that morning.
And then that makes me think of, like, ugh, just exes.
And I would like to say, here to Kat and
anybody else listening, I think that I have driven home
the fact that Ben and I have a really good
relationship because we do co parenting. Our divorce was amicable
(11:04):
and we've handled it well. But I also would like
to say there are hard days, and I don't know
that I really vocalize that because I don't share details
like that, and I'm not going to give any details
because that is not really my thing. But I guess
I just want to express that. I never want to
also paint some picture that Ben and I have it
all figured out and we're honky dory over here and
(11:26):
we don't have hard days, because we definitely do. And
I would imagine that this is a situation in which
her sister is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, You're just hiring
somebody without telling me or giving me a chance to
do that. And communication is so important in relationships, even
with our exes and with our co parenting relationships. Communication
(11:47):
is key because what I will say is I recently
had a rough day. Yeah, and kat I had a
follow up conversation with Ben today about that. We didn't
talk too much about it because we were focusing on
other things, but we did touch on it a smidge
and his response was he texted it wrong, and if
(12:10):
I had read it in the way in which he
intended it, then there would have been no issue. I said, well,
the problem is the way you sent the text. It
only read one way, I think because I showed it
to about five friends and they all agreed confirmation bias, right.
He acknowledged that he definitely sees how that would have
(12:33):
been very difficult to read, and he apologized and asked forgiveness.
So I was very thankful that he noticed it right away.
But it just was one of those things where for
full four days, like I was real fired up about it,
and in a particular moment I was as well. So
I just want to share that.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Well, you know what it's making me think about. It's
making me think about the Sean ne quest and I
guess I haven't learned that yet. Because you guys are walking.
You guys continue to walk through. Every new thing that
you guys are figuring out together is a new thing
that you guys are figuring out. And so as you
guys continue to move through life, and you guys both
(13:14):
go and have your lives outside of each other, outside
of your kids, you guys are going to continue to
have to go through things for the first time.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Well, my thoughts on that are like, he's been texting
for a long time, like text like learning how to
use the words.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I don't mean the texting.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Texting is not new. So words are important and words matter,
and keywords that you leave out of a text could
lead someone to believe a very different message than you
intended to send. And it can be complicated and it
might make that person cry and maybe want to scream
and smash stuff. But you know, it's all good. It's
just because it was.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
A typo or no, it wasn't a typo.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Well, it wasn't a typo. Apparently he was walking out
the door and sending something quickly and he didn't think
to read through do something to where I would like
to say, if it's an important text about the matter
in which that it was, I would take the time
to thoughtfully send the proper words so it cannot be
received in the wrong way. And also, if I was
(14:14):
Taylor Swift, I would have written a song in the
last four days called learn how to Text or Actually,
that wouldn't be the title because I didn't know it
was a text communication mishap. I thought he was quite
literally texting those exact things. So I probably would have
written a song called That's not going to work for me.
(14:35):
That would have been the title of my song, because
it wasn't the situation he was putting me in. If
that is how it is going to be, that is
not going to work for me.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Okay, I agree with you, obviously, you know that I
agree with you. I've heard about this situation. I think
I was saying more on his side, he has not
learned yet. Yes, he knows that a text, but how
sensitive a subject like this is and he didn't take
the time to think about it.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Well, let's just say that he has a girlfriend, and
that is great. I'm very happy for him. But yes,
there are new things that we are now communicating about.
To your point, kat, I guess we just haven't experienced
that yet.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Did you feel like I was trying to be on
his side, No, not at all, Okay, I was just
giving you the update and kind of making a little
bit of a joke of like, well, he learned how
to text.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
I don't know, in like nineteen ninety nine or whatever
text messages came out.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
You're right, it's not gonna work for me.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Probably back when we were jamming out to Jaquan everybody
in the club getting tipsy, he was really honing in
on those texting skills. And here we are twenty years later,
everybody at the bar instead of club.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
I cannot wait for you to listen to Shaboozie.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I love how you made that a full circle moment.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
I saw this whole article that rest corners are becoming
a thing. They're the latest home trend, and I didn't
know if you, as a therapist, have heard of a
rest corner.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
A rest corner is a rebrand for a reading nook,
which is a rebrand for a corner with a chair
in it. Why do we need a name for it.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Well, it's an area devoted to resting. So for some
people they may want to sit there and read. For others,
they may want to work on a puzzle or play
a hobby or like I've been doing these brain games
on my phone and stuff. So maybe you could just
be in a corner. But the point is to have
a cozy blanket, maybe a soft rug. It should be
a dedicated space for this to where you're out of
(16:48):
a high traffic area in your home where maybe there's
not going to be a lot of action. And maybe
you even have a curtain if you want that, like
or it's sectioned off private in a way, and you
can use calming colors, blues. You can maybe even have
a plant, but then you have to keep it alive.
But that's also good because you know it's responsibility and
(17:08):
when you're keeping it alive, Like I have two ferns
that I put in my porch, and then I potted
some plants in the front of my house and they
look so beautiful, and I swear to you every time
I pull it to my house. I'm like, I did that,
and I'm keeping it alive.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I was gonna say, how long are you giving yourself
outdoor plants are hard?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Well, mine are thriving right now, so I would just say,
it's kind of giving me the itch to get an
indoor plant and make it thrive, because most of my
indoor plants are fake, and by most I mean all really.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Okay, I'm going to give you a propagated indoor plant
from my house. Do you know what that means?
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yes, You're going to break it off one of your
plants and give it to me.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
And plant it in a pot and give it to you.
So I had this one plant we took when my
grandma died. We cut off a little piece from a
plant that was in her house when she passed away,
and we grew that into a plant my mom's house.
And then I cut a piece off, and my sister
cut a piece off, and then we put them at
our house. And then I've cut pieces off and given
them as gifts and put them in my office. So
then the plant from my grandma's house now is like
(18:11):
all over the place. You don't have to have that
one if you don't want that one? You want that?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
No, I love that. Okay, maybe my new home, my
new thing will be indoor plants and I'll see how
it helps change the energy of the home.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
And you'll have a rest nook.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yep, a rest corner corner. Okay, I'm going to do that,
and I'm going to sit in that corner. I'm gonna
do soothing hobbies and I'm gonna lounge. I did start
reading a book because it was sent to me an
advanced copy called Arita, and it was sent to the
Bobby Bone Show studio. So I'm not quite sure sometimes
why things get sent to me there. Is it for
(18:49):
the Bobby Bone Show? Is it because they want to
be on my podcast? Or they want to be connected
to Bobby somehow? I'm not sure. But I started reading
it yesterday and I really like it, so I don't
know when it's coming out, and I started to put
together an email to try to get the author on.
His name is Brian Johnson, but he's a former Navy
seal and I don't know how you become a philosopher,
but he says he is.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Is the book not fiction?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah, I would definitely put it in the self help category.
But it's really interesting how he did it because it's thick,
Like when you look at it, you're intimidated, but when
you open it up, you're like, Oh, he has put
a lot of really great concepts ideas like ways to live,
(19:32):
how you can grow as a human and thrive and
be your best and have courage and all the things,
but into bite sized pieces. There's four hundred and fifty
one chapters, if you will, but some of them are
just one page. Oh, and it doesn't have to be
read in order. Now I'm reading it in order. However,
I like that he said, Look, on any given day,
(19:54):
you may flip it open and if you open to
the two hundred and thirtieth chapter, you can read it
as is in it's going to be a nugget for
you that day and you'll be good to go. Now,
if you read it in order, it's going to be great.
But the reason why he did four hundred and fifty
one do you want to know why? I would love
to know carbon and oxygen if they are together at
(20:15):
four hundred and fifty one degrees, that is when there
is fire. Wait, what's the book called Arita? Which Arita
in Greek means excellence.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Oh, I thought that it was a fire.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
And I know your next question is going to be like,
why fire? And now I'm thinking, okay, brain, don't do
this to me right now because I can't remember the
exact reason. I'm proud of myself for remembering that four
hundred and fifty one degrees creates fire, not four hundred
and fifty four hundred and fifty one. But I think
it's because that's what ignites change. Oh, that's just me
(20:50):
from the dome. If Brian Johnson happens to hear this, like,
don't get worked up if I'm not remembering exactly why.
Because there was a lot that I was taking in,
in fact, so much I kept reading, and for me,
I like bite sized stuff like that. I'm like, ooh,
I already finished a chapter. Go meet, It's like I
flipped to the next page. Wow, look at me. I'm
really on a roll.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
How many chapters of your book did you read today?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Well? I read it yesterday and I'm probably gonna read
more tonight. I probably read twenty chapters yesterday and I
get in another twenty five thirty chapters today.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
He knows how to make a girl feel good, especially
one that really doesn't like to read that much. But
I'm getting there, And I thought that that was really interesting.
And now you know, if you ever playing a trivia
game and it's like, what degrees does it need to
be at for carbon and oxygen to create fire? And well,
(21:42):
it's four hundred and fifty one. Do you know the
temperature for water boiling two hundred to twelve? Two hundred
might be a slight simmer, but not boiling.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Two hundred is the degrees in which I heat my
tea up?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Nice. Did you know when you add honey to tea,
you shouldn't add it when it's super hot because because
it'll kill some of the properties that honey has. Really Yeah,
like if you add it to a tea that is
too hot, and you're adding it for benefits other than
just sweetness, because obviously you'll still get that, but honey
has a lot of really amazing qualities and benefits. But
(22:17):
if you put it in the tea and it's way
too hot, then I.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Never would have sent that. However, I don't put honey
in my tea. I just drink it plain.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, I like a little lemon and honey sometimes I
guess it depends on the tea. I've been doing a
nice little Camo mill at night. Maybe i'll have some
tonight when I sit down to read Airta and you're
a nute, I guess you didn't know Airta, which there's
a business here in Nashville that our friend Bobo opened.
It's an IV business, and he named it Irritate. He
(22:48):
always said Arita, but in this book by Brian he
said the air are is r r a ta. So
I'm sure it's just an accent thing however you want
to say it. But I remember years ago Bobo telling
me it meant something in Greek, and so that's what
drew me to actually pick up the book anyways, because
we get a lot of things mailed to us at
(23:09):
the studio, and I don't always take it home right
away and start reading it. But something drew me to
this book, and it was probably the airtay the title
and being like, oh, that's what Bobo named his company.
And then I realized when I was reading the book
that it means excellence. And then I remember Bobo saying
that that is why he wanted to name it his
company name. And because you know when you're getting IV's.
(23:30):
When you feel hydrated, you're performing at your best, like
you're more at a high performance excellence level.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I thought that company's name was like Ari eight or
something like this.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Yeah, well, you just don't know Greek like I do.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I don't, but he did.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
In this book. The author of it, Brian Like he
breaks down words like you know, he'll be like, the
aar means this. There's other words he shared which I
cannot just regurgitate them right now, but he'll be like,
you know the root of this word is eh means
a little, and pit I mean And I'm like, gow,
why am I not that way?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Because he probably studies that and you don't study that.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
He probably doesn't drive her ond listening to Shaboozie on reefeet,
probably not. He did tell this super sweet story about
how he has this little handshake language with his son,
and I thought, I'm gonna try that with my kids,
because you know, they don't really say I love you
(24:31):
or anything like that, because you know, we adopted them.
For anybody who that's listening, they moved here six years
ago and they were eleven and seven when they got here.
And you know, of course Ben and I say I
love you to them all the time, but that's not
something we receive back from them, which is totally okay.
But think they just weren't used to having that and
feeling safe to say it. And what are these weird feelings?
(24:53):
I don't know, but I hope they feel the love, right,
I hope at this point we've created that. I forget
the cute name he for their language, but it's like
they squeeze hands like they're squeeze language, and so he'll
squeeze it like I love you, like squeez squeez, squeeze
or something. But I thought, oh, what if I come
up with a cute way to have like a squeeze
(25:14):
thing with them, of like this is our own language,
and like, hey, if I squeeze their hand twice, it's
like I love you, and then I could just see,
you know, if they squeeze.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
It back, and if you squeeze it three times it
means mom, leave me.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Alone, which is totally fine. And I don't love them
so that they'll love me back, like that's not the point.
I'll love them no matter what. But I don't know.
I just thought when I was reading it, maybe this
could be a way for them to be able to
express something that might be feeling. Or I could even
ask them, you know what if we came up with
a fun way and then I see how they get
involved and they maybe want to communicate with that way,
(25:49):
and you never know. It may even take five years.
But what if five years from now. Can you imagine
if I'm just sitting somewhere and one woe comes up
to me and squeezes my hand twice? Oh, I'd write
a song about it. I wonder if Taylor's ever gonna
have kids.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
I don't listen to enough of her lyrics of her
songs to know, like what.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
I don't know. I guess I just seem curious what
her music might be like when she's super hormonal. Or
I did see this meme about when Taylor goes through menopause,
like these songs people that are watch al.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
But the good thing about those songs is she's They're
all relatable in some way even though they're about her life.
People are like, oh my gosh. So if she does
go through menopause, great because then there'll be a whole
new genre of songs for women who are going through menopause.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
That is true at lunch today with Ali Fallon. We
were talking about, you know, she has her book Write
Your Story coming out on May seventh. About May seventh, Yeah,
and that is what her book is about. I might
be like, well, if I was Taylor Swift, I would
write that, you know, But Taylor, it's very healing for
her to write these songs and put them out there,
(26:53):
and then for a lot of us if you can
relate to certain things anyway, it can be very healing
and therapeutic to listen to it, to go on a
drive the windows down. And you may not be Taylor
Swift listening right now, and you may not be Seana
Niquist or writing a book, but you can write your
own story for yourself. Nobody else has to ever even
(27:14):
read it. And that's what Ali really wants to drive
home with to write your story. Sure, you could write
it and publish it, that's great, but her book is
for everybody, and it's about writing your story for you.
Because after her divorce, which she was married to someone
in the church, like they had a more public relationship
(27:34):
in their community, and it was a very toxic, horribal relationship,
and she was very scared to leave it because she
didn't know what would happen to her. She kind of thought, well,
my life is going to be over. And she was
brave and she did the best thing for herself and
she left that marriage. And later she wrote about it
in a book called Indestructible, and she said it was
(27:57):
the most therapeutic thing she could have done for herself. Now,
she's a writer and an author, so it makes sense
for her to want to do that. But what she
learned in that process is, gosh, this could be so
healing for so many people who maybe even aren't authors.
And so I hope that you know, come May seventh,
if anybody has anything to process or work through, you'll
check out Write Your Story by Ali Fallon. You can
(28:18):
pre order it on Amazon now I'll link it in
the show notes. I've pre ordered it. Are you going
to go to the book launch?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
I'm going out. Yeah, I'm going. I was going to
say I already read the book and I highly recommend it.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yes. Did y'all record an episode? Has it aired yet?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah? It came out like two weeks ago. Yeah. She
was on to talk about that, and just I mean
basically we talked about what you just said and how
powerful it can be. I also am really interested in
the process of writing a book. I might write one,
I might not. But it was also the book. It's
something that I've already had a couple clients pre order
(28:51):
it as well, because I think it will be so
helpful for them. But it also is just interesting because
she gives you a framework in that book of how
to write a story. So you're learning to yourself when
you're learning about the process of stories at the same time.
And I can't say enough good things about it.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
So, Kat, you just said some of your clients have
pre ordered it. Well, someone pre ordered it at lunch
today that we didn't know. But we were having lunch
meet Gracie Allie's were all talking and then this woman
that works where we're eating Urban Market, she came up
and she.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Was so sweet.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
She was like, Hey, I just wanted to say I
listened to the Bobby Bone Show and I wanted to
give you this song. She's a single mom and she
wrote a song about that, and she had a little
QR code and so she gave one to Ali and
Gracie as well. And the album is called Gospel of
the Underdog and her name is Lee Heatherington. I just
(29:54):
pulled it up on YouTube, and she was so sweet
and we were talking about the therapy of music and
her writing that and she wanted to be able to
have music for other women that are going through something hard,
and she had found a women's shelter in Franklin that
she's going to go volunteer at and she's going to
(30:16):
go sing to them, and she was like, I want
to write a song specifically for them, and was like
their little anthem. So clearly she was in a really
difficult relationship and music has helped heal her and writing
and I said, well, Ali is the queen of writing.
She just wrote a book called Write Your Story and
it's coming out and so then she's like, oh my gosh,
(30:36):
thank you for telling me. And then about five minutes
later she circled back around and pulled out her phone
and showed Ali, I just pre ordered your book. And
it was just such a sweet moment of women supporting women,
and especially women that don't even know each other. But
also you just never know the chain of events, sort
of like our email earlier of you never know showing
(30:57):
up to a bird watching thing. Sandy was telling us,
so I decided to go to my local library to
talk about birds. Next thing you know, I'm at a
bird walk on a Saturday, and then I'm at a
garage sale and I see a sign from my dad's office.
Like at all the sequence of events of her well
coming up to say hi to us because she recognized
me from the show. Then her ended up having writing
(31:20):
in common with Allie and then leaving and pre ordering
her book, and then who knows when she gets her
book and she experiences Ali's guidance and how to write
more of your story, it be very therapeutic, and if
she's volunteering at these shelters, she might be able to
help other women write their story, maybe even through song.
I never know. I just felt like it was a
really cool sequence of events that was happening. So I
(31:42):
just wanted to share that because it was just a
really organic story and to pertain to sort of what
we're talking about now. But what do you think you
might write your book about?
Speaker 2 (31:51):
That is a question I don't have an answer to.
I do have a note on my phone that has
just like things that I would want to either write
about or include in a story if I write it.
But I think right now. For me, it's not so
much that I want to write on a specific thing.
It's that I just like the process of writing. I
might like write three books before I even actually write
(32:13):
a book that I would want to share with anybody.
I just like the process of writing. And there are
a lot of things I feel like I have to say,
and I don't like journal it's not like my thing.
But I have a Google Doc on my computer where
when I start having a lot of thoughts, I'll just
like put them in there. There's no rhyme or reason,
there's no organization. It's just thoughts that I put on
a page, and one day I might want to organize those.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I love that well, I can't read to read your book.
If you do do one and put it out or multiple, I'll.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Share my Google doc with you and you can just
read the jumblings that are inside of my head.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Did I tell you I came up with the podcast
tour name?
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Are you going on tour?
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Well? We are, yeah, in the fall, but we don't
have exact dates yet, so that's why you don't know.
But we have an idea for in the which of
course we've been trying to do since last year, but
also you just got to wait till the right time.
Like I think even last year when I did the
two shows in March at Franklin Theater, when we did those,
I don't know that I was even fully ready to
(33:12):
do that. I think we did them and they were great,
But I'm in a much better space now to where
I think we'll give people a better show. But if
you came, it was still great and I loved all
of my guests, and Kat is a part of it
as well. But I think the title of the tour
will be, or the name of the tour will be.
(33:34):
It all makes sense now and in parentheses kind of,
and one day that title will also make sense when
I can expand upon it. But to me, I just
think it's perfect for so many reasons, and I'm really
really really really really excited about it.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I want to say something about that, and I don't.
This is me saying this without even like knowing the
backstory of how you came up with that. I love
that name. Because the first thing I was going to
say is what makes you think that you weren't really
ready for last year when we did those shows, Because
even if you've grown or you've learned more, or you've
expanded more, or whatever however you want to say it.
(34:17):
You still offered what you had at the moment to
the people that you shared it with, and it wasn't nothing.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
You're like, I don't know how to receive this government.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
I'm receiving it with a thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I love that the name of that for so many reasons, because, yeah,
right now we can make sense of what we have.
So I like that, like it's like kinda and then
later things are going to make more sense maybe, And
then later, as we continue to grow and live our lives,
more things start to make more sense and we continue
to gain clarity. So I like that idea of that
(34:49):
title because it's something that can be carried literally forever.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
And it can pertain to serious things and also not
serious things, and stuff that maybe you finally have figured
out from twenty years ago, and maybe stuff that you
figured out from four days ago, because it was a
oh you forgot that keyword in the text. Well it
all makes sense now kind of because we should know
(35:14):
how to communicate at this point, but I'm going to
mess up. So I extended grace to Ben and forgave
him for that, and I would like grace extended to me.
But yeah, it all makes sense, like a trivial thing.
Maybe you know when I had my colors done for
my underlying skin tone, and there are certain colors. When
(35:35):
I would get dressed in the morning before I had
it done, I'd be like, I literally everything about me
is the same except for what I'm wearing. Why am
I struggling to get ready this morning? Or why do
I just look or I can't make this work? Like
I got this really pretty orange dress a couple of
years ago, and I was so excited to wear it.
Kat has on orange right now. Y'all can't see, but
she's wearing orange. She looks very cute in it. But
(35:57):
I also think orange would be one of your colors.
It was actually for Bobby and Caitlin's wedding shower and
I was one of the hosts. So I got a
new dress and it's so cute and I was so
excited to wear it. And when the night came, I
was getting ready and I just couldn't make things work.
And I remember being so not confident, and I thought, well,
this is a huge bummer, because I was super excited
to wear this dress. But then by the time I
(36:19):
got there, I just didn't feel it. But I got
past it. The night wasn't about me. But my point
of this is when I got my skin tone color analysis,
I should never wear orange. Orange is not one of
my colors. Now, I don't know if certain people may
or may not buy into this, but I saw her
do it, and I saw her hold the orange up
to my face, and then I saw her hold other
(36:41):
colors up and all she did was change the color.
Like nothing about my makeup or hair changed, so that
likely could have been it. So it's like, oh, it
all makes sense now. I shouldn't have bought that orange dress.
It all makes sense now. And then there's more extreme
things like some of my struggles with reading and retention
(37:03):
and learning about dyslexia at forty three and getting all
these tests done and realizing that I am on the
spectrum for that. Oh it all makes sense now. Some
of the struggles I had in school and that I
still have, but now I have the knowledge, which is information,
and information is so powerful because then you can start
(37:24):
to implement growth and change. And now I would wear
navy blue to that shower. Obviously that is my power color.
I would wear navy blue or maybe lavender. Before I
got my color analysis with Hannah, which I did a
whole podcast with her, I guess a couple of months ago.
At this point, y'all can go listen to it. But
(37:46):
Hannah House of Color here in Nashville. She's great and
I was a paying customer, and after I had the experience,
I said, will you please come on my podcast because
I find this to be fascinating and like even my makeup,
I ordered some of that. Have you ever used DIBs?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
What that is?
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Jackie who I work with, taught me about it. It's
so great. It's like your desert island beauty, Like these
are the products she would take with you to a
desert island. And so she has this stick somehow some
got sent to me similar to the Airta Like they
just showed up and I loved the feel of it
and it was so easy to put on, and it
came with this brush and it's a like a contour
(38:23):
stick and a blush but in one single tube, like
blush on one end and contour on the other. And
I really was enjoying it. However, because I know my
colors like, this is a little off. It's a little
warm for me, and I'm a cool summer. So I
went to their website and I got on and I
saw the combo that she sells that is for cool undertones,
(38:46):
and I was like, Bam, that's me. So now I
ordered it and I got it in the mail and
it's perfect. I love it. It just made so many
things easier. But just knowing my colors, it all makes
sense now. Maybe I was wearing the wrong makeup.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
That all makes sense. Your whole life makes sense.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Kind of the kind of is key because there's some
stuff that's just not going to make sense, or you
might not know for another handful of years or or longer.
But Ladi Dohadi da, I feel like I con talk
talk talk talk talk today. I don't know why.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Cat.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
On Instagram at kat dot defada and at Unique Therapy podcast.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
And I am at Radio Amy on socials and I
will see you on Thursday for four Things. Bye bye
4 Things with Amy Brown News
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