August 17, 2023 • 32 mins
Amy’s guest today is the multi-talented content creator, influencer, singer-songwriter, comedian and TikTok star Danae Hays! Danae talks about her journey from softball player at Alabama to social media star to now recording a Country comedy album and developing her own 'one-woman show' with the various characters she's created over the years.
Growing up in Alabama, Danae had a passion for comedy – creating her own Saturday Night Live skits as a kid and being fascinated by video & editing. During the pandemic, she used that creative spirit to launch a TikTok filled with different characters inspired by her life which went viral overnight.
Like many comedians, Danae had some childhood trauma that played a role in her desire to make others laugh. She opens up about anxiety, OCD, being put on Zoloft at 11 years old, conversion therapy, and more. She also shares some very exciting news during '4 Things Gratitude.'
Enjoy this fun chat & have the day you need to have!!
HOST:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST:
Danae Hays // @Danae.Hays on IG // @DanaeHays on TikTok
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Cast up thing, little food for you sol.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Life.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, it's pretty beautiful thing beautiful for that for a
little more family exciting, said he. You're kicking with full
thing with Amy Brown.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Happy Thursday, Amy here and you're about to hear my
interview with Dnay Hayes. She's a content creator, influencer, comedian, singer, songwriter,
and so much more. I mean, her career is taking
off in so many directions right now. She originally blew
up on TikTok like overnight. She has two point six
million followers. I'm one of them. And she actually posted
(00:55):
a video the other day that I relate to on
such a deep level that I'm gonna play it for
you now so that you can get a feel for her.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
My favorite part of being a woman, you ask, Oh,
I'll tell you it's the two hours that I get
to walk around my house button naked, smelling like a chained,
smoking billy goat because I just put on the nastiest
self tanner.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I can't touch anything.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
I'm sticky like a wet gummy bear, and.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
I got a wander around the house and just do
random things for two hours without accidentally rubbing my butt
against something because it's gonna rub my tan off.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's what I love about baby.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
And woman, right, So that voice is Dnay's character Sharon Jean,
who you'll hear about later in the interview. And you know, look,
Dnay is funny, no doubt, but her desire to make
people laugh stems from her childhood. So we talk about
some of the trauma that impacted her when she was younger.
We talk about OCD zoloft at eleven years old, conversion therapy,
(01:47):
four things, gratitude, her new music career, whether or not
we would eat a friend to survive, you know, normal
fun stuff like that. So here's our chat. Hope you
enjoy it. D Nay, Your life is so interesting. I mean,
I love following you. For one, you always make me laugh,
(02:07):
and for two, it's cool to see all of the
work opportunities that are just popping up for you left
and right. It's got to be insane right now. And
I know that some people know you from your college
softball days at Alabama, because I mean, you were a
star player, and I'm sure you could have had a
career in sports, So I'm very curious how you got
to Nashville. Doing what you do. Now, let's start there.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Like you just said, I feel like this season of
my life, the past four months has just been a whirlwind.
I went from just being the girl that posted funny
videos on TikTok to now it seems like I'm moving
from social media to real life. It's like baptism by
fire right now. But to go back to what you
were talking about, I graduated from Alabama.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I had only focused on softball my entire life.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
But I'd always been like the class clown. I was
voted class clone in high school. And my day I
bought me a video camera when I was eleven years old,
and he bought me this editing software long like way
before it's time, because he knew how much I loved
writing skits and sketches, and so he was like, I
know you've been asking for a video camera.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Here you go, Merry Christmas.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
And so I grew up out in the middle of nowhere, Alabama,
like we had one gas station in a post office,
and that was it. So for my dad to be
able to recognize like a talent that I had as
a kid and to want to nurture that talent instead
of saying, oh, that's very unconventional. Why would I buy
my kid a video camera, which, by the way, shout
out to my dad.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
He's the greatest dad in the world.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
But he also included editing software.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Editing.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
He bought me this editing software that I was learning
as a ten to eleven year old, and I have
all of the videos at home on DVDs. I would
burn him to a DVD and then on the weekends,
I would get my family in the living room.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And I would put these videos on the TV and
it would make them watch.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
So I would get like seven or eight skits at
a time, and I would come up with my own
because Saturday Night Live was my favorite show as a kid,
so I would create my own Saturday Night Live skits
and I would play all the characters, and then I'd
make my parents watch my Saturday Night Live skit on Saturdays.
And then when TikTok came around fifteen years later, when
(04:16):
I was twenty eight at the time, I was like, well,
this is a great opportunity for me to use all
these characters I've been building forever and to share them
to the world, not.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Just my parents.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Give an example of a character.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Well, one of them is. Her name is Sharon Jean
and Sharon. She's about fifty years old and she was
born and raised in Nowhere, Alabama. She's got a husband
named Terrence. Well, Sharon, she cuts this, you know, cushes
like a day I'm sailor and she always is bitching
in my own inn at Terrence.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
So that's my favorite character.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
And she I can't tell you which relative, but she's
a spin off of her relative in my family.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
And so she and she's the one with them the
mullet hair, with the bullet hair. Oh wear wigs.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yeah, I always has a talladega shirt on.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
But I had a called me one day and she
was like, hey, tonight, Sharon gene based on me? And
I was like, no, what gave you that impression?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Other characters come from other family members or friends or
I have one.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Her name is Karen and she's the HOA President And
there's a group text in our in our neighborhood, and
I just started really developing Karen the HOA President, and
I posted one the other day and it went really viral,
and all of my friends in the neighborhood put Karen
in a group text and said, is this based off
of our actual hoa president, and I'm like, I don't know,
(05:33):
is it? So I just take little idiosyncrasies of somebody.
This sounds really weird, but I really pay attention to
people's mannerisms and how they moved through conversations, and then
I do my very best to take a little bit
of this person and a little bit of that person
and formulate a character that isn't so pigeonholed to where
(05:55):
only I would know what she is and who she is.
But that other people, whether they live in calif where
they live in Alabama, they all have run into that
person before. Like I have people all around the country,
even outside of the country that are like you're sharing Gene,
even though she's Southern. I have a relative that operates
and moves through life just.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Like Sharon Gene.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
So I think that when I think of my bread
and butter, I think my bread and butter is being
able to really pay attention to people's manierisms and then
formulate characters off of them.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
So you started doing stuff on TikTok and that started
to take off. How are you making money? I mean,
you just mentioned bread and butter, but before I think,
like you finished college. Did you know at that point
you wanted to be a Oh no.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
No, no, I'd shut that idea.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to
be in television and film, hence why I love making characters.
But when you grow up in the sticks of Alabama
like that, the arts aren't really celebrated, so you just
kind of shut that down. So I prioritize softball because
I was really athletic and my parents loved watching me play.
So I got a softball scholarship to Alabama, and I
majored in and telecommunications in film, thinking that I was
(07:03):
going to pursue broadcasting. So I was a color analyst,
like a play by play for the SEC Network from
twenty sixteen to I believe twenty eighteen.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So I called college softball games in the booth and.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
That kind of scratched the itch, but I still was
Denay psychologically. I've tried to like analyze myself and be like,
do you have a problem with being Denay?
Speaker 1 (07:23):
And it's not that I have a problem being Denay.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
I just am such a creative person in my head
that if I am stuck to just Denay, like I
don't feel like I can truly be creative. So, like
I was just Denay in the softball booth calling these games.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
It was limiting.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
It was very limiting, and so I was like, well,
I don't want to do that.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
So then I got my real estate license and I
became a real estate agent in Alabama for two years.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
And I was like, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
And then I think it was twenty twenty, the pandemic
was in full force. I was sitting at home with
my wife Mandy, and uh, I was like, I'm gonna
post a funny video on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
The kids are doing it. She's like, what's TikTok. I'm like,
I don't know. We're gonna figure this out together.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah, what was your first video?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
I think my first video was telling the story about
how I went to Catholic Church for the first time,
and I was just a story and the priest at
the end of Mass, I had never been.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
To Catholic church.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
How old were you?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Oh, I was eighteen, but my softball coach asked me
to go to Mass, and so I got in line
and she was like, just do what I do. And
I was like, oh my god, I'm so freaked out.
Right now, I grew up Southern Baptist, and I wasn't
paying attention because Nick Saban was sitting two rows over.
So I was looking at Nick Saban, enamored with him,
and before I realized that I was at the front
of the line, and the priest looks at me and
(08:39):
what do you call this? Father? So yeah, Holy Spirit
gives me one of those and then bops me on
my forehead and says, you are blessed. Well, I didn't
know what to do, amy, so I just went father son,
Holy Spirit and.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Bopped him on his forehead and said, so were you.
That is a true story. I'm mortified every time I
tell it.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
But that was my first ever video, and about a
year after that I had just kind of post shoud
random stuff. And about a year after that, I posted
my first ever prank phone call on TikTok and I
woke up the next day to two hundred and fifty
thousand followers, and from then it's just ticked upward. So
the first one that I would say really got some
notoriety and some momentum was a prank phone called a
(09:17):
taxidermist and asked them if that stuff my dog poony.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Oh my gosh. A prank call video that I saw
was with Lispie Linda in her hotel room. Do hers
set her up?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I called the front desk. She said hello, and I said, uh.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
Yes, mem I am in my womb right now, and
I think that I've.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Gotten bit by some boat bugs.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
And she goes, what room are you in? And I said, well, Charlie,
Charlie's my husband. I said, Charlie, can you go out
there and tell me what woom I'm in? And so
I wait a second and I go Charlie says, we're
in room one oh one, and she goes, we don't
have our room one oh one. And I go, hmm,
(10:02):
that's too bad, because Charlie said the brand So.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Listen, Linda took off.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
I mean there's a lot of characters you okay, So
do you think of the character first or the joke first?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Of Like, Okay, I want to prank call someone. I
want to be in a hotel, I want there to
be bed bugs, I want my husband to kind of
be the So.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
It's all improv for me.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
My brain when I function, when it comes to especially
prank phone calls and a lot of the sketches that
I do. I set the camera up, I pressed record,
and then I just let my imagination just take over,
because if I try to write it out too much,
it becomes stale. So like that prank phone call, the
only thing I knew going in is that I was
calling a motel and that I wanted to use a
(10:42):
new character and I wanted her to have a lisp.
So that's how that started. She answered the phone, and
then as soon as she answers the phone, my imagination
just starts running wild of where lispy Linda can start
taking This imaginary playground.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Is the improv something that you took before or because
you nurtured that and honed it and practice, And like
we're so into that as a kid, because I feel
like it's something you have to like a muscle, right.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
I mean I've been doing improv since I was a kid,
and I think a lot of that comes back to
being a kid with a video camera and no other
creative people around to help you create characters. So I
just had to learn how to riff off of myself,
and I just had an insane imagination.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
As a kid.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
I was also just like really into adult conversations, Like
as a kid, I wanted to listen to what the
adults were talking about because I knew I wanted to
make the adults laugh. I needed to raise my standard
of what my humor was going to be about. So
I would always listen to what my parents were talking
about and what their friends were talking about, and then
maybe if they were gossiping about a certain person in
(12:00):
our town, I would take that person and I would
formulate a skit around that person so that when I
went back to them and showed them my sketch, they
could laugh really hard at it because the bar and
the standard of my humor was now at their level
instead of me making skits about children thing, If that
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Where do you think your desire to make sure that
people are laughing came from? Or wanting that validation? I mean,
kids look for attention in all kinds of ways. Yeah,
you were having to put in a lot of work, yeah,
to get the laugh which I think is amazing and
it clearly shows just yeah, how creative you are and
how your mind works, like you have a gift, Like
it's very evident, But like I wonder where that desire
(12:40):
early on came of like I need to get the
adults to.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Laugh, well, if we want to go deep, I, as
a kid, knew I was different. When I was eight
years old, I first told my mom and my dad
that I had a crush on the girl next door,
and they kind of just like brushed it off, thinking okay,
you're eight, like what does that mean? And so about
the age of ten, those conversations continuously kept coming up,
(13:03):
and when I was eleven, I was eventually taken to
a therapist to learn how to keep those thoughts of
homosexuality at bay. So I think a lot of that
self affirmation and acceptance from the adult stems from not
feeling accepted as a kid. That's me maybe over psychoanalyzing it.
(13:25):
But when you're taken to a form of conversion therapy,
which a lot of people don't know what that is,
but it's where you go see a psychologist or a
therapist that helps you learn how to not act on
homosexual thoughts. It's based off of homosexuality, and a lot
of it, if not all of it, is rooted in
Christianity and rooted in religion. So I was taken to
(13:46):
a psychologist who specialized in that, and I learned ways
to cope with thoughts that I was having and in
essence rid myself of those thoughts. And then when that
didn't work, then I was put on Zoloft at the
age of eleven. So I was put on a dose
of an antidepressant when I was eleven because I had
developed this is where it gets deep, but I had
developed obsessive compulsive disorder because I was suffering from such
(14:09):
a severe anxiety over my sexuality and feeling like I
was innately wrong and I was made wrong that I
started to develop things that I could control. Since I
couldn't control those thoughts, I started touching the doorknob of
my bedroom like twenty times before i'd allow myself to
go in. Or I would walk up the stairs to
my bedroom and count the stairs, and even though I
(14:30):
knew there was always eighteen steps, I would tell myself
that I missed one and I would have to walk
down the steps and walk back up, and I would
do that sometimes eleven and twelve times, and it just
became where it was taking over my life like any
person that suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder does.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
So that's when Zoloft came into play.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Is I needed something to in other words, maybe numb some.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Of those obsessive thoughts.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
So I do think a lot of my creativity stems
from trauma. I think if you talk to any comedian,
I think there's some form of trauma in that lineage.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And that's kind of.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
The messed up thing about it is I think in
order to really be funny, sometimes you have to equal
the scales, and you have to have trauma to equal
that out. I can only really think of one comedian
that doesn't have some form of trauma, and that's Adam Sandler,
and he talks about it. He's like, I'm a rare
bird in this business. I'm one of the only comedians
that doesn't have some form of craziness that's happened to
(15:28):
him to make me funny.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Do you know Trey.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Kennedy, Oh yeah, well he was on the podcast last
month and he's like Adam Sandler, a rare comedian who's
humor didn't come from a sad place. But gosh, you know,
I'm still thinking about zoloft at eleven years old. I mean,
what happened with your personality, your creativity? I don't know,
did any of that change. Did you feel it change?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
I mean it goes from being this loud, goofy center
of attention kid that is so joyful and goofy to
she starts becoming crippled with obsessive compulsive disorder. And then
at that point it's almost like a trade off, like
would you rather be crippled with OCD or would you
rather some sort of medication be able to numb your
(16:12):
brain just enough to where you don't have to touch
the doorknobs seventeen times? So I think for myself and
for my parents, I mean, I can't speak for them now,
but I think for myself, it's like, had my mom
and my dad just said, you know what, you're ten,
you're eleven, let's not worry about who you find cute
and who's attractive. Why don't we just keep an open
(16:33):
line of communication and until you're old enough to start
dating somebody where you can put those thoughts into action,
let's at least make sure there's an open line of communication.
And I will say, my dad, there's always been that
open line of communication there, and he's now expressed to
me sobbing how upset he was that he allowed that
to happen to me and him, and I've had so
(16:54):
many open conversations now about how he just didn't want
me to be the loner kid in high school where
everybody knew I was different and I was gay in
a small southern town in Alabama. He was like, I
just wanted selfishly to you to keep that a secret
until you could go to college and be around people
that were more open minded, and he goes, I feel
(17:14):
so flawed now in the way that I'm thinking, but
that's where my mind was at in two thousand and
three in the deep south of Alabama. But like, my
mother is still very rigid on those beliefs. I haven't
spoke to her in seven years now because since Mandy
and I and my wife now have been together, she's
been very rigid and using the ideology that you can't
be gay and also be a Christian.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
So she's stuck with that. My parents are.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Divorced now, but she's about to ask, Yeah, she's stuck
with that mindset and she hasn't swayed from it. My dad,
on the other hand, is like, if he could go
back this second, he would go back and not allow
me to go through that. But There's this story that
I always tell because I think it shows a depiction
of the marriage that they were in while they were
having a child that was dealing with that. The first
(18:00):
time they took me to a psychiatrist, they had done
your research, and they had taken me to this man
and he had this frizzy, curly hair. It was kind
of like all over the place, and he was dressed
really casually, and we sat on his couch and in
his office and he was like, well, today, why aren't
you tell me why you think you're here?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And I said, well, I think I'm here.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Because I touched the doorknob a lot, and I obsess
over thoughts and I wake my parents up in the
middle of the night to apologize for my thoughts, like
things I hadn't even told him about. I was apologizing
for That's how bad it was. And he goes, okay, okay, Well,
I'm going to ask your parents to go outside per second,
and you and I are going to continue this conversation.
So they left, and he goes, why do you think
(18:42):
you touched the doorknobs so many times? And I said,
I'm just always nervous, And he goes, what are you
nervous about And I said, well, I'm just nervous that
I'm thinking about things I shouldn't think about.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
And he goes, well, what are you thinking about?
Speaker 4 (18:55):
And he just dissected it one question at a time,
and I was like, ooh, I'm gonna have to say
and I have to tell somebody other than my parents.
And I go, well, I'm nervous that liking girls is wrong.
And that man looked at me and he goes, what's
so wrong about that? And I just stared at this guy,
like all right, is this a trick question? And he goes,
it doesn't matter who you like today.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
He goes, you're just a little kid.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
And I remember I got back in the car with
my parents. We were headed to go to Arby's to
get something to eat, good old Arby's, and my mom
my dad was driving.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Woh.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
My mom propped her arm up on the passenger chair
and she swiveled and she looked at me in the
backseat and she goes, well, tonay, what did he say?
And I was so overjoyed about getting relief that I
said he said, there's nothing wrong with who you like.
You can let girls or boys, and my mom hauled
off and punched my dad in his arm and said,
(19:47):
I thought you booked a Christian counselor. And then the
entire energy shifted in the car. So from that moment forward,
I realized that I had developed a belief that you
can't like God and try us God, and also like
girls if you're a girl. A week later, they took
me to the psychologist that specialized in homosexuality, and that
(20:08):
was the guy who instilled in me every single time
I saw him was it's not a sin to think
about robbing the bank. You can think all you want, Tony,
but it is a sin to rob the bank. So
we would go over things like that every day or
every time that I saw him, And that was the
guy who put me on sol off.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
But I could see it in that moment.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
My dad was doing his best to live in a
happy marriage while also not trying to upset his wife,
while also trying to predict his kid. And I know
it was hard for him because my mother's beliefs were
so rigid, which is why you know they're obviously not
married anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Yeah, that'll make things hard. I feel like we're getting
to know you, and I'm really enjoying it. And something
that I do with guests to see more about what's
important to them or what they're into at the moment
(21:10):
is four things gratitude. So could you share four things
that you're thankful for right now?
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is I
am currently extremely grateful for my wife Mandy.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
She is my rider or died biggest support system.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
The second thing that I'm very grateful for is my
relationship with my dad. I think when God knew that
he was making Dnay's dad, he made him extra special.
He's truly my best friend and one of the most
selfless people I know. The third thing might surprise you,
but I'm really thankful for the lake.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
We've been going to the lake several times.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Mastercraft.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yeah, most shout out to you, baby. I watch your videos,
know what we are doing.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
A partnership with Mastercraft right now, and being on the
lake that I.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Grew up on is really special. It brings back to
Smith Lake or yeah, okay in Alabama.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Yeah, so's it's really nice to just like get out
there on the lake.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
So that's the third thing.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
And then the fourth thing that comes to mind is
I am getting ready to sign a record deal.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Okay, yes, let's talk about this. Because I had no
idea you can sing, and then one day you're popping
up on my Instagram you're singing and you got a song.
So how long have you been writing and singing?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Well, growing up only wrote rap songs, so of course
I would write rap songs, yeah, and i'd sing them
for my dad and wrap them out, you know. But
as of like just recently, because I'm writing a country
comedy album right now, I've been probably writing since January.
And I just sang for the first time in front
of anybody other than my wife four months ago.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Which was where at a friend's house. She's a musician here,
and she was.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Like, well, today, if you want to put out a
country comedy album, you need to go ahead and pop
that bubble and get on over the house and sing
in front of me.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
And I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
I sang Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter tour and I
was like, I'm gonna lose it.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
So yeah, about four months ago.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
I started taking vocal lets about two months ago, and
then this record deal happened. Because what I want to do,
Amy is I want to create a one woman show.
I'm in the middle of creating this show where I'm
creating storytelling and comedy with a bit of stand up,
with integrating these characters that I've built through TikTok, and
(23:19):
then also writing songs and singing those songs about the
stories that I just told.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Oh yes, so it's like a little little bit of a.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Little bit of everything. Yeah, a little bit of everything.
So that's that's where the idea came from. And then
the record label found out about that idea, and then
they wanted to move forward with the music.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
So comedy album now, But do you I have no
idea what you sounded like when you when you sing
strawberry wine. But could you do normal songs?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I mean, yeah, yeah, I could sing normal songs.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
But I think there is probably just being candid with you,
I think it is less nerve wracking when you put
comedy in front of it, because then people don't have
to worry so much about your voice, whereas if you're
trying to sing a real song, they're critiquing your voice.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Right.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
So yeah, maybe once I get comfortable and I've done
this a little while, maybe if I wanted to put
out an actual song because I love songwriting.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Well, your song road Hard is hilarious. Definitely has been
a summer jam for a lot of people, and I
know Mandy was a writer on that. So how involved
is she with your projects?
Speaker 4 (24:22):
I hate to say this, but Mandy writes a ton
of my jokes her brain. I don't know how because
she didn't grow up Southern. She grew up in the California,
but she spent a year with me in Alabama, living
with me there, so I think she picked up a
lot of those mannerisms. But I tell you where her
the golden ticket with Mandy is, and that is her
ability to market something. Mandy can look at trends that
(24:44):
are happening on TikTok or Instagram and she can just
figure out where the eyeballs are going and she can
capitalize on that, which sounds very strategic and it is.
But she majored in strategic marketing. That was literally her major.
So it doesn't apprized me that she's like that, But
that's her.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Bread and butter is marketing.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
It's insane to watch her do it because she'll be like,
I think this trend would do really well. Right now,
you should use your audio with it, your your song,
and I'm like, I don't know, Mandy, I don't know
if that would do well.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Just trust me.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
And then I post it and it's like, how did
you know that was.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Going to do so well? She's just amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Well, that's awesome to have that in house because a
lot of people have to pay for that.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
It is a luxury, for sure, for sure it is.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Okay, my next question for you is going to seem
very random, but I am curious about your answer. There's
a book called Alive. It's about the soccer team that
years ago crashed in the Andes Mountains and they ended
up eating teammates that didn't make it due to the conditions.
And my friends and I were just talking about whether
(25:49):
or not we could eat each other if we were
in a similar situation. And I don't think that I
am tough enough to do that to survive. So Denay,
the question is, are.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
You what is this book called Alive?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Alive? And then another one's a Miracle in the Andes.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Okay, so that do you like to read?
Speaker 4 (26:06):
I love to read when it comes to true story, Yes, yeah, okay,
get it. Well, that reminds me of this guy and
his wife was my science teacher, and he had a
horrific car accident on a very desolate rural road in Alabama.
And when he wrecked, he wrecked into a rail or
a guardrail. The guardrail penetrated through the front of his
(26:29):
small car and pinned his leg up against his seat.
He could move this metal guardrail was going through his legs,
so he took out a buck knife and sawed through
the meat of his leg and bone. I remember when
I was told that story, which probably should have been
told that story in seventh grade or eighth grade, but
I was I just don't know if I'd have the
(26:50):
mental fortitude to take a little three inch buck.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Knife that makes me one hundred and twenty seven hours
where he had to It was a boulder second rock
and he had to cut his Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, that's me. No, I'm like to take me now, Lord,
like we are done. This was great.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
I think occasionally we need to have these types of questions.
We need to be able to ask ourselves. Would I
be willing to eat my friends?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
You go home and you're like so, Mandy.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
We talked about childhood trauma, eating.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Each other Sharon, Is it it? Sharon even came in
the studio Sharon Jane. Yeah, She's definitely a favorite of mine.
And I'm just so thankful for the person that posted
a funny video of you and their story so that
I could find you, and I am pumped to come
to your one woman show. It's going to be amazing.
Is childhood? Denate freaking out about that.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
It's very intimidating and scary, you know, because you're doing
something new. Even though you've done all of these things
in their own time, formulating a way to put it
all together and make it into a show is a
different art. So I have friends that are helping me,
you know, with the legit of that. But I mean
it's scary. I'm so excited, don't get me wrong. Like
if I could be on stage tomorrow with the show,
I would, But yeah, it is scary thinking about putting
(28:08):
yourself out there in a way that you've never done
it before. But I know once I get shows underneath
my belt and I'm able to critique the way that
I like to do things or maybe adjust the flow
of this or that.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I'll feel a lot better about it. But I'm very,
very excited to say the least.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Have you done live stuff? Like do you ever go
to Zani's Or I've never done Zany's.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
I've done some stand up, and this is so funny
when I say this, I hate stand up where you
stand in front of a microphone. There's no sketches, really
there's there's no characters. You're just telling jokes. Even though
the crowd was laughing, I was like, this is so
uncomfortable for me because this is not the way that
(28:49):
I like to make people laugh. Like, I don't like
to make people laugh through just quick one liners and
little tidbits. I'm a real big storyteller, developing the story
and allowing it to formulate and take place, and then
getting them at the end, and then maybe using a
character to help navigate it to the end. Like one
(29:10):
of my stand up segments was five minutes, so I
had to come up with all these choppy short jokes
to get you know, at least three or four jokes
in a matter of five minutes. And when I signed
with my agent, you know, he asked me, he was like,
do you like stand up? And I was like, I'll
tell you right now if you are trying to sign
me because you want me to be a stand up comedian.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
No.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
I was like, if that means losing you, I'm not signing.
I was like, I do not want to be a
stand up comment. He's like, okay, then we're going to
make sure that the art that you like is the
art that you're going to be able to take on stage.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
A lot like Trey.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Kennedy, how he does the funny Southern Christian mom and
he's able to use that but also be himself and
other sketches too.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
But y'all are both good going in and out of
your characters. You know, Trey has his teenage character, and
when he was on the podcast, I pitched him a
bit which was inspired by my son. So pretty much
the team major comes home from church camp thinking that
everyone in his home is a heathen. For example, his
mom me is a heathen because she's having a glass
(30:10):
of wine or listening to pop music instead of the
Christian station. Stuff like that, And Trey said he's working
on it, but TBD, I've never pitched a skit idea before,
so we'll see.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Well, I think your brain is going in the perfect direction,
because that's such a.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Thing that's so relatable.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
I mean, I don't know if you did you ever
go to the things called judgment houses around Halloween.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
No, so I don't know if this is.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
Normal worldwide, but my parents and our school system, they
take you to a judgment house and it's where they
walk you through a scene that's like hell, the Devil's there,
there's people in chains, and it's they blast the heat
in that room with heaters and it's red.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
So then the next room is like very cold.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
And it's blue blue skies on the ceiling. And then
Jesus comes down and he goes, you know, turn from
your sinful ways and meet me at the gates of Heaven.
So it's like showing you you can either choose this
lifestyle or you can choose God. Right. So I would
go to that every Halloween at the local church. It
(31:16):
would be in the church and when I would leave,
like WZZK from back home in Birmingham would be on
the radio and I would be so scared to listen, we.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Have to judgment house. I would be too, I mean,
i'd be like, we're not Christians anymore. I mean, and
to be fair, to clarify Stevenson's church camps are not
extreme like that. They're healthy church camps that I respect
and appreciate. But all that right there, that seems a
bit much.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Like people would be like on their hands and knees
with like horns growing out of their head, crawling around
this dark room like and You're like, what.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Is going on? And I just remember, like every year
I was like, I don't want to go back to
Judgment House. It was horrible.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I mean, sounds horrible, and I guess we'll end on
that horrible note. But before we go, I definitely want
people to know that you have a podcast launching this month,
Refined and Rawty love that name, covering pop culture and
obviously you talked about your comedy music, the album. Just
so many cool things coming up. So thanks for this talk, Denay,
(32:22):
and for giving me laughs on Instagram. I'm definitely grateful.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Thank you. Friend.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Follow Denay on socials. She is at Denay Hayes d
A n A E h y S and I am
at Radio Amy. Bye
Cast up thing, little food for you sol.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Life.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, it's pretty beautiful thing beautiful for that for a
little more family exciting, said he. You're kicking with full
thing with Amy Brown.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Happy Thursday, Amy here and you're about to hear my
interview with Dnay Hayes. She's a content creator, influencer, comedian, singer, songwriter,
and so much more. I mean, her career is taking
off in so many directions right now. She originally blew
up on TikTok like overnight. She has two point six
million followers. I'm one of them. And she actually posted
(00:55):
a video the other day that I relate to on
such a deep level that I'm gonna play it for
you now so that you can get a feel for her.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
My favorite part of being a woman, you ask, Oh,
I'll tell you it's the two hours that I get
to walk around my house button naked, smelling like a chained,
smoking billy goat because I just put on the nastiest
self tanner.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I can't touch anything.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
I'm sticky like a wet gummy bear, and.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
I got a wander around the house and just do
random things for two hours without accidentally rubbing my butt
against something because it's gonna rub my tan off.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's what I love about baby.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
And woman, right, So that voice is Dnay's character Sharon Jean,
who you'll hear about later in the interview. And you know, look,
Dnay is funny, no doubt, but her desire to make
people laugh stems from her childhood. So we talk about
some of the trauma that impacted her when she was younger.
We talk about OCD zoloft at eleven years old, conversion therapy,
(01:47):
four things, gratitude, her new music career, whether or not
we would eat a friend to survive, you know, normal
fun stuff like that. So here's our chat. Hope you
enjoy it. D Nay, Your life is so interesting. I mean,
I love following you. For one, you always make me laugh,
(02:07):
and for two, it's cool to see all of the
work opportunities that are just popping up for you left
and right. It's got to be insane right now. And
I know that some people know you from your college
softball days at Alabama, because I mean, you were a
star player, and I'm sure you could have had a
career in sports, So I'm very curious how you got
to Nashville. Doing what you do. Now, let's start there.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Like you just said, I feel like this season of
my life, the past four months has just been a whirlwind.
I went from just being the girl that posted funny
videos on TikTok to now it seems like I'm moving
from social media to real life. It's like baptism by
fire right now. But to go back to what you
were talking about, I graduated from Alabama.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I had only focused on softball my entire life.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
But I'd always been like the class clown. I was
voted class clone in high school. And my day I
bought me a video camera when I was eleven years old,
and he bought me this editing software long like way
before it's time, because he knew how much I loved
writing skits and sketches, and so he was like, I
know you've been asking for a video camera.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Here you go, Merry Christmas.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
And so I grew up out in the middle of nowhere, Alabama,
like we had one gas station in a post office,
and that was it. So for my dad to be
able to recognize like a talent that I had as
a kid and to want to nurture that talent instead
of saying, oh, that's very unconventional. Why would I buy
my kid a video camera, which, by the way, shout
out to my dad.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
He's the greatest dad in the world.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
But he also included editing software.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Editing.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
He bought me this editing software that I was learning
as a ten to eleven year old, and I have
all of the videos at home on DVDs. I would
burn him to a DVD and then on the weekends,
I would get my family in the living room.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And I would put these videos on the TV and
it would make them watch.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
So I would get like seven or eight skits at
a time, and I would come up with my own
because Saturday Night Live was my favorite show as a kid,
so I would create my own Saturday Night Live skits
and I would play all the characters, and then I'd
make my parents watch my Saturday Night Live skit on Saturdays.
And then when TikTok came around fifteen years later, when
(04:16):
I was twenty eight at the time, I was like, well,
this is a great opportunity for me to use all
these characters I've been building forever and to share them
to the world, not.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Just my parents.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Give an example of a character.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Well, one of them is. Her name is Sharon Jean
and Sharon. She's about fifty years old and she was
born and raised in Nowhere, Alabama. She's got a husband
named Terrence. Well, Sharon, she cuts this, you know, cushes
like a day I'm sailor and she always is bitching
in my own inn at Terrence.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
So that's my favorite character.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
And she I can't tell you which relative, but she's
a spin off of her relative in my family.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
And so she and she's the one with them the
mullet hair, with the bullet hair. Oh wear wigs.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yeah, I always has a talladega shirt on.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
But I had a called me one day and she
was like, hey, tonight, Sharon gene based on me? And
I was like, no, what gave you that impression?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Other characters come from other family members or friends or
I have one.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Her name is Karen and she's the HOA President And
there's a group text in our in our neighborhood, and
I just started really developing Karen the HOA President, and
I posted one the other day and it went really viral,
and all of my friends in the neighborhood put Karen
in a group text and said, is this based off
of our actual hoa president, and I'm like, I don't know,
(05:33):
is it? So I just take little idiosyncrasies of somebody.
This sounds really weird, but I really pay attention to
people's mannerisms and how they moved through conversations, and then
I do my very best to take a little bit
of this person and a little bit of that person
and formulate a character that isn't so pigeonholed to where
(05:55):
only I would know what she is and who she is.
But that other people, whether they live in calif where
they live in Alabama, they all have run into that
person before. Like I have people all around the country,
even outside of the country that are like you're sharing Gene,
even though she's Southern. I have a relative that operates
and moves through life just.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Like Sharon Gene.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
So I think that when I think of my bread
and butter, I think my bread and butter is being
able to really pay attention to people's manierisms and then
formulate characters off of them.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
So you started doing stuff on TikTok and that started
to take off. How are you making money? I mean,
you just mentioned bread and butter, but before I think,
like you finished college. Did you know at that point
you wanted to be a Oh no.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
No, no, I'd shut that idea.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to
be in television and film, hence why I love making characters.
But when you grow up in the sticks of Alabama
like that, the arts aren't really celebrated, so you just
kind of shut that down. So I prioritize softball because
I was really athletic and my parents loved watching me play.
So I got a softball scholarship to Alabama, and I
majored in and telecommunications in film, thinking that I was
(07:03):
going to pursue broadcasting. So I was a color analyst,
like a play by play for the SEC Network from
twenty sixteen to I believe twenty eighteen.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So I called college softball games in the booth and.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
That kind of scratched the itch, but I still was
Denay psychologically. I've tried to like analyze myself and be like,
do you have a problem with being Denay?
Speaker 1 (07:23):
And it's not that I have a problem being Denay.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
I just am such a creative person in my head
that if I am stuck to just Denay, like I
don't feel like I can truly be creative. So, like
I was just Denay in the softball booth calling these games.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
It was limiting.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
It was very limiting, and so I was like, well,
I don't want to do that.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
So then I got my real estate license and I
became a real estate agent in Alabama for two years.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
And I was like, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
And then I think it was twenty twenty, the pandemic
was in full force. I was sitting at home with
my wife Mandy, and uh, I was like, I'm gonna
post a funny video on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
The kids are doing it. She's like, what's TikTok. I'm like,
I don't know. We're gonna figure this out together.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah, what was your first video?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
I think my first video was telling the story about
how I went to Catholic Church for the first time,
and I was just a story and the priest at
the end of Mass, I had never been.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
To Catholic church.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
How old were you?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Oh, I was eighteen, but my softball coach asked me
to go to Mass, and so I got in line
and she was like, just do what I do. And
I was like, oh my god, I'm so freaked out.
Right now, I grew up Southern Baptist, and I wasn't
paying attention because Nick Saban was sitting two rows over.
So I was looking at Nick Saban, enamored with him,
and before I realized that I was at the front
of the line, and the priest looks at me and
(08:39):
what do you call this? Father? So yeah, Holy Spirit
gives me one of those and then bops me on
my forehead and says, you are blessed. Well, I didn't
know what to do, amy, so I just went father son,
Holy Spirit and.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Bopped him on his forehead and said, so were you.
That is a true story. I'm mortified every time I
tell it.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
But that was my first ever video, and about a
year after that I had just kind of post shoud
random stuff. And about a year after that, I posted
my first ever prank phone call on TikTok and I
woke up the next day to two hundred and fifty
thousand followers, and from then it's just ticked upward. So
the first one that I would say really got some
notoriety and some momentum was a prank phone called a
(09:17):
taxidermist and asked them if that stuff my dog poony.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Oh my gosh. A prank call video that I saw
was with Lispie Linda in her hotel room. Do hers
set her up?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I called the front desk. She said hello, and I said, uh.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
Yes, mem I am in my womb right now, and
I think that I've.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Gotten bit by some boat bugs.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
And she goes, what room are you in? And I said, well, Charlie,
Charlie's my husband. I said, Charlie, can you go out
there and tell me what woom I'm in? And so
I wait a second and I go Charlie says, we're
in room one oh one, and she goes, we don't
have our room one oh one. And I go, hmm,
(10:02):
that's too bad, because Charlie said the brand So.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Listen, Linda took off.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
I mean there's a lot of characters you okay, So
do you think of the character first or the joke first?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Of Like, Okay, I want to prank call someone. I
want to be in a hotel, I want there to
be bed bugs, I want my husband to kind of
be the So.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
It's all improv for me.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
My brain when I function, when it comes to especially
prank phone calls and a lot of the sketches that
I do. I set the camera up, I pressed record,
and then I just let my imagination just take over,
because if I try to write it out too much,
it becomes stale. So like that prank phone call, the
only thing I knew going in is that I was
calling a motel and that I wanted to use a
(10:42):
new character and I wanted her to have a lisp.
So that's how that started. She answered the phone, and
then as soon as she answers the phone, my imagination
just starts running wild of where lispy Linda can start
taking This imaginary playground.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Is the improv something that you took before or because
you nurtured that and honed it and practice, And like
we're so into that as a kid, because I feel
like it's something you have to like a muscle, right.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
I mean I've been doing improv since I was a kid,
and I think a lot of that comes back to
being a kid with a video camera and no other
creative people around to help you create characters. So I
just had to learn how to riff off of myself,
and I just had an insane imagination.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
As a kid.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
I was also just like really into adult conversations, Like
as a kid, I wanted to listen to what the
adults were talking about because I knew I wanted to
make the adults laugh. I needed to raise my standard
of what my humor was going to be about. So
I would always listen to what my parents were talking
about and what their friends were talking about, and then
maybe if they were gossiping about a certain person in
(12:00):
our town, I would take that person and I would
formulate a skit around that person so that when I
went back to them and showed them my sketch, they
could laugh really hard at it because the bar and
the standard of my humor was now at their level
instead of me making skits about children thing, If that
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Where do you think your desire to make sure that
people are laughing came from? Or wanting that validation? I mean,
kids look for attention in all kinds of ways. Yeah,
you were having to put in a lot of work, yeah,
to get the laugh which I think is amazing and
it clearly shows just yeah, how creative you are and
how your mind works, like you have a gift, Like
it's very evident, But like I wonder where that desire
(12:40):
early on came of like I need to get the
adults to.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Laugh, well, if we want to go deep, I, as
a kid, knew I was different. When I was eight
years old, I first told my mom and my dad
that I had a crush on the girl next door,
and they kind of just like brushed it off, thinking okay,
you're eight, like what does that mean? And so about
the age of ten, those conversations continuously kept coming up,
(13:03):
and when I was eleven, I was eventually taken to
a therapist to learn how to keep those thoughts of
homosexuality at bay. So I think a lot of that
self affirmation and acceptance from the adult stems from not
feeling accepted as a kid. That's me maybe over psychoanalyzing it.
(13:25):
But when you're taken to a form of conversion therapy,
which a lot of people don't know what that is,
but it's where you go see a psychologist or a
therapist that helps you learn how to not act on
homosexual thoughts. It's based off of homosexuality, and a lot
of it, if not all of it, is rooted in
Christianity and rooted in religion. So I was taken to
(13:46):
a psychologist who specialized in that, and I learned ways
to cope with thoughts that I was having and in
essence rid myself of those thoughts. And then when that
didn't work, then I was put on Zoloft at the
age of eleven. So I was put on a dose
of an antidepressant when I was eleven because I had
developed this is where it gets deep, but I had
developed obsessive compulsive disorder because I was suffering from such
(14:09):
a severe anxiety over my sexuality and feeling like I
was innately wrong and I was made wrong that I
started to develop things that I could control. Since I
couldn't control those thoughts, I started touching the doorknob of
my bedroom like twenty times before i'd allow myself to
go in. Or I would walk up the stairs to
my bedroom and count the stairs, and even though I
(14:30):
knew there was always eighteen steps, I would tell myself
that I missed one and I would have to walk
down the steps and walk back up, and I would
do that sometimes eleven and twelve times, and it just
became where it was taking over my life like any
person that suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder does.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
So that's when Zoloft came into play.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Is I needed something to in other words, maybe numb some.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Of those obsessive thoughts.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
So I do think a lot of my creativity stems
from trauma. I think if you talk to any comedian,
I think there's some form of trauma in that lineage.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And that's kind of.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
The messed up thing about it is I think in
order to really be funny, sometimes you have to equal
the scales, and you have to have trauma to equal
that out. I can only really think of one comedian
that doesn't have some form of trauma, and that's Adam Sandler,
and he talks about it. He's like, I'm a rare
bird in this business. I'm one of the only comedians
that doesn't have some form of craziness that's happened to
(15:28):
him to make me funny.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Do you know Trey.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Kennedy, Oh yeah, well he was on the podcast last
month and he's like Adam Sandler, a rare comedian who's
humor didn't come from a sad place. But gosh, you know,
I'm still thinking about zoloft at eleven years old. I mean,
what happened with your personality, your creativity? I don't know,
did any of that change. Did you feel it change?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
I mean it goes from being this loud, goofy center
of attention kid that is so joyful and goofy to
she starts becoming crippled with obsessive compulsive disorder. And then
at that point it's almost like a trade off, like
would you rather be crippled with OCD or would you
rather some sort of medication be able to numb your
(16:12):
brain just enough to where you don't have to touch
the doorknobs seventeen times? So I think for myself and
for my parents, I mean, I can't speak for them now,
but I think for myself, it's like, had my mom
and my dad just said, you know what, you're ten,
you're eleven, let's not worry about who you find cute
and who's attractive. Why don't we just keep an open
(16:33):
line of communication and until you're old enough to start
dating somebody where you can put those thoughts into action,
let's at least make sure there's an open line of communication.
And I will say, my dad, there's always been that
open line of communication there, and he's now expressed to
me sobbing how upset he was that he allowed that
to happen to me and him, and I've had so
(16:54):
many open conversations now about how he just didn't want
me to be the loner kid in high school where
everybody knew I was different and I was gay in
a small southern town in Alabama. He was like, I
just wanted selfishly to you to keep that a secret
until you could go to college and be around people
that were more open minded, and he goes, I feel
(17:14):
so flawed now in the way that I'm thinking, but
that's where my mind was at in two thousand and
three in the deep south of Alabama. But like, my
mother is still very rigid on those beliefs. I haven't
spoke to her in seven years now because since Mandy
and I and my wife now have been together, she's
been very rigid and using the ideology that you can't
be gay and also be a Christian.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
So she's stuck with that. My parents are.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Divorced now, but she's about to ask, Yeah, she's stuck
with that mindset and she hasn't swayed from it. My dad,
on the other hand, is like, if he could go
back this second, he would go back and not allow
me to go through that. But There's this story that
I always tell because I think it shows a depiction
of the marriage that they were in while they were
having a child that was dealing with that. The first
(18:00):
time they took me to a psychiatrist, they had done
your research, and they had taken me to this man
and he had this frizzy, curly hair. It was kind
of like all over the place, and he was dressed
really casually, and we sat on his couch and in
his office and he was like, well, today, why aren't
you tell me why you think you're here?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And I said, well, I think I'm here.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Because I touched the doorknob a lot, and I obsess
over thoughts and I wake my parents up in the
middle of the night to apologize for my thoughts, like
things I hadn't even told him about. I was apologizing
for That's how bad it was. And he goes, okay, okay, Well,
I'm going to ask your parents to go outside per second,
and you and I are going to continue this conversation.
So they left, and he goes, why do you think
(18:42):
you touched the doorknobs so many times? And I said,
I'm just always nervous, And he goes, what are you
nervous about And I said, well, I'm just nervous that
I'm thinking about things I shouldn't think about.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
And he goes, well, what are you thinking about?
Speaker 4 (18:55):
And he just dissected it one question at a time,
and I was like, ooh, I'm gonna have to say
and I have to tell somebody other than my parents.
And I go, well, I'm nervous that liking girls is wrong.
And that man looked at me and he goes, what's
so wrong about that? And I just stared at this guy,
like all right, is this a trick question? And he goes,
it doesn't matter who you like today.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
He goes, you're just a little kid.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
And I remember I got back in the car with
my parents. We were headed to go to Arby's to
get something to eat, good old Arby's, and my mom
my dad was driving.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Woh.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
My mom propped her arm up on the passenger chair
and she swiveled and she looked at me in the
backseat and she goes, well, tonay, what did he say?
And I was so overjoyed about getting relief that I
said he said, there's nothing wrong with who you like.
You can let girls or boys, and my mom hauled
off and punched my dad in his arm and said,
(19:47):
I thought you booked a Christian counselor. And then the
entire energy shifted in the car. So from that moment forward,
I realized that I had developed a belief that you
can't like God and try us God, and also like
girls if you're a girl. A week later, they took
me to the psychologist that specialized in homosexuality, and that
(20:08):
was the guy who instilled in me every single time
I saw him was it's not a sin to think
about robbing the bank. You can think all you want, Tony,
but it is a sin to rob the bank. So
we would go over things like that every day or
every time that I saw him, And that was the
guy who put me on sol off.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
But I could see it in that moment.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
My dad was doing his best to live in a
happy marriage while also not trying to upset his wife,
while also trying to predict his kid. And I know
it was hard for him because my mother's beliefs were
so rigid, which is why you know they're obviously not
married anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Yeah, that'll make things hard. I feel like we're getting
to know you, and I'm really enjoying it. And something
that I do with guests to see more about what's
important to them or what they're into at the moment
(21:10):
is four things gratitude. So could you share four things
that you're thankful for right now?
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is I
am currently extremely grateful for my wife Mandy.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
She is my rider or died biggest support system.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
The second thing that I'm very grateful for is my
relationship with my dad. I think when God knew that
he was making Dnay's dad, he made him extra special.
He's truly my best friend and one of the most
selfless people I know. The third thing might surprise you,
but I'm really thankful for the lake.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
We've been going to the lake several times.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Mastercraft.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yeah, most shout out to you, baby. I watch your videos,
know what we are doing.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
A partnership with Mastercraft right now, and being on the
lake that I.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Grew up on is really special. It brings back to
Smith Lake or yeah, okay in Alabama.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Yeah, so's it's really nice to just like get out
there on the lake.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
So that's the third thing.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
And then the fourth thing that comes to mind is
I am getting ready to sign a record deal.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Okay, yes, let's talk about this. Because I had no
idea you can sing, and then one day you're popping
up on my Instagram you're singing and you got a song.
So how long have you been writing and singing?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Well, growing up only wrote rap songs, so of course
I would write rap songs, yeah, and i'd sing them
for my dad and wrap them out, you know. But
as of like just recently, because I'm writing a country
comedy album right now, I've been probably writing since January.
And I just sang for the first time in front
of anybody other than my wife four months ago.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Which was where at a friend's house. She's a musician here,
and she was.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Like, well, today, if you want to put out a
country comedy album, you need to go ahead and pop
that bubble and get on over the house and sing
in front of me.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
And I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
I sang Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter tour and I
was like, I'm gonna lose it.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
So yeah, about four months ago.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
I started taking vocal lets about two months ago, and
then this record deal happened. Because what I want to do,
Amy is I want to create a one woman show.
I'm in the middle of creating this show where I'm
creating storytelling and comedy with a bit of stand up,
with integrating these characters that I've built through TikTok, and
(23:19):
then also writing songs and singing those songs about the
stories that I just told.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Oh yes, so it's like a little little bit of a.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Little bit of everything. Yeah, a little bit of everything.
So that's that's where the idea came from. And then
the record label found out about that idea, and then
they wanted to move forward with the music.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
So comedy album now, But do you I have no
idea what you sounded like when you when you sing
strawberry wine. But could you do normal songs?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I mean, yeah, yeah, I could sing normal songs.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
But I think there is probably just being candid with you,
I think it is less nerve wracking when you put
comedy in front of it, because then people don't have
to worry so much about your voice, whereas if you're
trying to sing a real song, they're critiquing your voice.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Right.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
So yeah, maybe once I get comfortable and I've done
this a little while, maybe if I wanted to put
out an actual song because I love songwriting.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Well, your song road Hard is hilarious. Definitely has been
a summer jam for a lot of people, and I
know Mandy was a writer on that. So how involved
is she with your projects?
Speaker 4 (24:22):
I hate to say this, but Mandy writes a ton
of my jokes her brain. I don't know how because
she didn't grow up Southern. She grew up in the California,
but she spent a year with me in Alabama, living
with me there, so I think she picked up a
lot of those mannerisms. But I tell you where her
the golden ticket with Mandy is, and that is her
ability to market something. Mandy can look at trends that
(24:44):
are happening on TikTok or Instagram and she can just
figure out where the eyeballs are going and she can
capitalize on that, which sounds very strategic and it is.
But she majored in strategic marketing. That was literally her major.
So it doesn't apprized me that she's like that, But
that's her.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Bread and butter is marketing.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
It's insane to watch her do it because she'll be like,
I think this trend would do really well. Right now,
you should use your audio with it, your your song,
and I'm like, I don't know, Mandy, I don't know
if that would do well.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Just trust me.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
And then I post it and it's like, how did
you know that was.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Going to do so well? She's just amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Well, that's awesome to have that in house because a
lot of people have to pay for that.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
It is a luxury, for sure, for sure it is.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Okay, my next question for you is going to seem
very random, but I am curious about your answer. There's
a book called Alive. It's about the soccer team that
years ago crashed in the Andes Mountains and they ended
up eating teammates that didn't make it due to the conditions.
And my friends and I were just talking about whether
(25:49):
or not we could eat each other if we were
in a similar situation. And I don't think that I
am tough enough to do that to survive. So Denay,
the question is, are.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
You what is this book called Alive?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Alive? And then another one's a Miracle in the Andes.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Okay, so that do you like to read?
Speaker 4 (26:06):
I love to read when it comes to true story, Yes, yeah, okay,
get it. Well, that reminds me of this guy and
his wife was my science teacher, and he had a
horrific car accident on a very desolate rural road in Alabama.
And when he wrecked, he wrecked into a rail or
a guardrail. The guardrail penetrated through the front of his
(26:29):
small car and pinned his leg up against his seat.
He could move this metal guardrail was going through his legs,
so he took out a buck knife and sawed through
the meat of his leg and bone. I remember when
I was told that story, which probably should have been
told that story in seventh grade or eighth grade, but
I was I just don't know if I'd have the
(26:50):
mental fortitude to take a little three inch buck.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Knife that makes me one hundred and twenty seven hours
where he had to It was a boulder second rock
and he had to cut his Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, that's me. No, I'm like to take me now, Lord,
like we are done. This was great.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
I think occasionally we need to have these types of questions.
We need to be able to ask ourselves. Would I
be willing to eat my friends?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
You go home and you're like so, Mandy.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
We talked about childhood trauma, eating.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Each other Sharon, Is it it? Sharon even came in
the studio Sharon Jane. Yeah, She's definitely a favorite of mine.
And I'm just so thankful for the person that posted
a funny video of you and their story so that
I could find you, and I am pumped to come
to your one woman show. It's going to be amazing.
Is childhood? Denate freaking out about that.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
It's very intimidating and scary, you know, because you're doing
something new. Even though you've done all of these things
in their own time, formulating a way to put it
all together and make it into a show is a
different art. So I have friends that are helping me,
you know, with the legit of that. But I mean
it's scary. I'm so excited, don't get me wrong. Like
if I could be on stage tomorrow with the show,
I would, But yeah, it is scary thinking about putting
(28:08):
yourself out there in a way that you've never done
it before. But I know once I get shows underneath
my belt and I'm able to critique the way that
I like to do things or maybe adjust the flow
of this or that.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I'll feel a lot better about it. But I'm very,
very excited to say the least.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Have you done live stuff? Like do you ever go
to Zani's Or I've never done Zany's.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
I've done some stand up, and this is so funny
when I say this, I hate stand up where you
stand in front of a microphone. There's no sketches, really
there's there's no characters. You're just telling jokes. Even though
the crowd was laughing, I was like, this is so
uncomfortable for me because this is not the way that
(28:49):
I like to make people laugh. Like, I don't like
to make people laugh through just quick one liners and
little tidbits. I'm a real big storyteller, developing the story
and allowing it to formulate and take place, and then
getting them at the end, and then maybe using a
character to help navigate it to the end. Like one
(29:10):
of my stand up segments was five minutes, so I
had to come up with all these choppy short jokes
to get you know, at least three or four jokes
in a matter of five minutes. And when I signed
with my agent, you know, he asked me, he was like,
do you like stand up? And I was like, I'll
tell you right now if you are trying to sign
me because you want me to be a stand up comedian.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
No.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
I was like, if that means losing you, I'm not signing.
I was like, I do not want to be a
stand up comment. He's like, okay, then we're going to
make sure that the art that you like is the
art that you're going to be able to take on stage.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
A lot like Trey.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Kennedy, how he does the funny Southern Christian mom and
he's able to use that but also be himself and
other sketches too.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
But y'all are both good going in and out of
your characters. You know, Trey has his teenage character, and
when he was on the podcast, I pitched him a
bit which was inspired by my son. So pretty much
the team major comes home from church camp thinking that
everyone in his home is a heathen. For example, his
mom me is a heathen because she's having a glass
(30:10):
of wine or listening to pop music instead of the
Christian station. Stuff like that, And Trey said he's working
on it, but TBD, I've never pitched a skit idea before,
so we'll see.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Well, I think your brain is going in the perfect direction,
because that's such a.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Thing that's so relatable.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
I mean, I don't know if you did you ever
go to the things called judgment houses around Halloween.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
No, so I don't know if this is.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
Normal worldwide, but my parents and our school system, they
take you to a judgment house and it's where they
walk you through a scene that's like hell, the Devil's there,
there's people in chains, and it's they blast the heat
in that room with heaters and it's red.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
So then the next room is like very cold.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
And it's blue blue skies on the ceiling. And then
Jesus comes down and he goes, you know, turn from
your sinful ways and meet me at the gates of Heaven.
So it's like showing you you can either choose this
lifestyle or you can choose God. Right. So I would
go to that every Halloween at the local church. It
(31:16):
would be in the church and when I would leave,
like WZZK from back home in Birmingham would be on
the radio and I would be so scared to listen, we.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Have to judgment house. I would be too, I mean,
i'd be like, we're not Christians anymore. I mean, and
to be fair, to clarify Stevenson's church camps are not
extreme like that. They're healthy church camps that I respect
and appreciate. But all that right there, that seems a
bit much.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Like people would be like on their hands and knees
with like horns growing out of their head, crawling around
this dark room like and You're like, what.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Is going on? And I just remember, like every year
I was like, I don't want to go back to
Judgment House. It was horrible.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I mean, sounds horrible, and I guess we'll end on
that horrible note. But before we go, I definitely want
people to know that you have a podcast launching this month,
Refined and Rawty love that name, covering pop culture and
obviously you talked about your comedy music, the album. Just
so many cool things coming up. So thanks for this talk, Denay,
(32:22):
and for giving me laughs on Instagram. I'm definitely grateful.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Thank you. Friend.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Follow Denay on socials. She is at Denay Hayes d
A n A E h y S and I am
at Radio Amy. Bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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