January 21, 2025 • 21 mins
Amy got a lecture from her doctor because of a rash on her chest. This leads to new shower and laundry rules at her house. She goes over her new plan (suggested by her doctor) to get this rash under control. A listener, Natalee, emailed asking about the Happy Light that Amy uses, so they also talk about that and then Kat goes over 5 habits of the successful. How many of them do you do?
Here is the Happy Light that a listener emailed about!
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Vanburen // @KatVanburen // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat and today's quote is unknown. It's a meme
of sorts. Some days I amaze myself. Other days I
put my keys in the fridge.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I feel like you would do that on purpose, though.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Have you heard of fridge scaping?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Is that making your fridge look really pretty? Landscaping for
your fridge?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yes, and people are putting a photo albums, picture frames,
wait wait to work because think of how many times
you open your fridge and how fun if you open
it up and you're.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Like, oh, cute, you're doing that.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, they are. It's called fridge scaping.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Has a name that was more like making your fridge
look color coded and having all like your drink set
up cute.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Well, you could do that too, because that's pretty if
you're into that.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I feel like I keep the room in their fridge
to put a picture frame in it.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I keep a tidy fridge. I feel like I get
out of picture frame.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I cannot.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I do have a fun email from a listener named Kelly,
and it's an update she emailed us a couple of
years ago, which shout out for people that have been
listening for multiple years and that are emailing. You know,
maybe they haven't emailed in a couple of years, but
they think, oh, I'm going to give an update, which
I've been reading some different updates. So I think that
(01:16):
puts some people's heads too, like, oh, I have an update,
which we love, so please send A few have emailed before,
and you have an update. So she said, Hey, Amy
and Kat I emailed a couple of years ago about
a crazy thing my husband and I were doing. Tried
to build a house on forty acres in California. Well
we pivoted our dream about a year ago. Which pause,
(01:37):
this is me talking now. My episode last Thursday came
from your Three Courts Therapy newsletter.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Which I did not write that. Yeah, arsked it, Okay,
I didn't want to take credit for it.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, And it was all about permission to change your mind.
And I love that this email touches on that too.
And she sent this before she ever even heard that episode,
so it would have been perfect for me to read
in that episode because she changed her mind and it
was a big dream that she had put out there,
and that's one of those things where you have permission
(02:09):
to change your mind about what you want to eat
for dinner, about a relationship, about whether or not you
want to go out one night. And if you put
a big dream out there, you have permission to change
and no one's going to think less of you for it.
So here you go. She said. We pivoted our dream
about a year ago. We had lived on the land
for about two years and just decided it wasn't the
(02:31):
right location, so we moved off and had been trying
to sell ever since. Sometimes it's hard to have a
dream that doesn't come to fruition. That's okay. We have
simply shifted our dream, which I love too that this
is an example side note of sometimes our mind gets
changed for us, Like we get to shift based on
(02:56):
information we're receiving.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Yeah, like you did the thing and then you're like, wait,
this actually isn't it.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, you're allowed to listen to that.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yes, And if it's not working out, sometimes we will
grind and push and grind to make it work. And
it's not going to when everything's right in front of
our face, which she said, like, it's hard that it
wasn't coming to fruition. But they didn't stay there and
try to force it. They flowed with it. She said,
that's okay. We have simply shifted our dream. We now
(03:26):
plan to retire early at fifty five and move to Thailand.
We have been studying Thai for about a year. It's
the hardest language I have ever learned.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
This layers.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I don't know she's a teacher, so I know I'm
kind of jealous of that. This year, we're going to
be spending the entire summer there parentheses bonus for being teachers.
We're going to be traveling and celebrating our twenty fifth
anniversary and scoping out potential retirement locations. We were also
lucky enough to be able to go over the holiday
(03:57):
break and be a part of our Thai teacher's wedding there,
which how cool that they have this taie teacher have
a relationship with and then they're going over there and
they're like, yeah, I want to be a part of
your wedding. I feel like Kelly and her husband are
awesome people. I've also been trying to think of a
word of the year for me, and when I heard
you and Kat talking on the fifth thing today, I
really liked when Kat suggested stretch. I feel like that's
(04:20):
going to be my word. I definitely need to stretch
more physically, mentally, and socially, So thank you. I am
taking this as my word. I want to stretch and
become a better wife, friend, mother, teacher, athlete, in parentheses, recreational,
a taie speaker, and sometimes this might mean something I
(04:42):
might be hesitant to do. I never karaoke, and my
husband would love it if I did, so maybe I
stretch my comfort there too.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
See how they seem so sung.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I want to hang out with them, like, let's go
karaoke anyway. Thanks. If you read all my ram, I
appreciate how open you are with all of us whom
you've never met. Perhaps if you do another live podcast someday,
I'll be able to make it and say hi, your
friend in California, Kelly, Well shoot, let's do the next
live in Thailand.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
That'd be awesome.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Actually, really, you're only guest. The only downside would be
the flight. How far away is that?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You think far? Like a twenty hour flight?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
It's all I can tell you. Okay, no idea. I've
never been over there.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
You've never researched this, Okay.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Her life sounds so cool, sounds like she's already stretching,
but I guess that might.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Not be stretch for her. Like now I feel like
I need to stretch it. Thank you Kelly for sending that.
I do have another email. This one is just a
question from Natalie. She said, Hey, Amy, I remember you
talking about a Vitamin D light in Prince's Happy Light
that you had gotten, and if I remember correctly, maybe
(05:56):
you even got one for Bobby. Do you have a link?
I did check your Amazon page. I didn't see anything there.
Thanks so much, which I replied to her, and I
sent her the link. But have you heard of a
happy light?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
I meant to ask you about this because I remember
you talking about it too, and I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Do some research on it.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Okay, because of just the winter and it's cold and
I haven't been outside.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, I didn't know if I talked about here on
the Fifth Thing or Fourth Things, or if I just
talked about on the Bobby Bone Show or where. But
light in the morning is so good for you, and
sometimes you can't get that light first thing in the morning,
so you could use your Happy light or just light
in general if you work in doors a lot. But
like you said, even winter just that seasonal depression, which
(06:36):
I was just reminded when I was talking to my
college roommate this week about antidepressant. She's trying to shift
off of one, and I said, well, pause, you may
want to consult with your doctor, which I'm sure that
you are. She has a family of doctors, so I
know they know what they're doing. But I just reminded
her that it is winter. And I tried to get
(06:56):
off of well beutrin in the winter and that did
not go well. So I got back on it and
then I was able to successfully get off of it
because that was the right move for me in the
summer when it was sunny out.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
When you can not replace but there's other things you
can do that you just can't do in the winter. Yeah,
it's twenty degrees outside. I'm personally not going for a
walk outside.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
No, we're taping this ahead of time a little bit,
so I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you. Did
you know in a couple of days it's going to
be ten degrees here? That's what my dermatologist told you
today through this though he moonlights as a weather man.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Wait, I'm sorry, how did it come up? Like he
just was like, you don't have anything to talk about.
So he's like, so the weather's going to change. Your
dermatologist doesn't have to create conversation with you. No.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
But we were talking about my skin and how itchy
it has been, and he was checking out this pre
cancer spot on my nose again because I've been trying
to get that scabby part gone. So he froze it
again to day and we'll see what happens. But then
we start talking about other parts of my skin where
I was like, look, see this like rash thing and
(08:08):
he said, oh, that's eczema. He said it's probably flaring
up in the winter. It's really really cold, and your
skin is dry. I said, well, I'm moisturizing, that's the thing.
He said, well, how hot are your showers? I said, oh,
they're hot as they should, really hot showers because I'm
so cold all the time. And he's like, lukewarm. We
(08:31):
only take lukewarm showers, especially in the winter. He's like, lukewarm,
and stop using any scented things. And he said that
our skin barrier in the winter is just different than
it is in the summer, so we need to protect
it in other ways.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I don't like the information he's giving you. It's probably right.
But a lukewarm shower, yeah, that feels cold to me.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I mean I can take it like showers, so it's fine.
I like cold.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I do love showers, yes, like wash your hair in
the cold shower.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yes, No, you don't one hundred percent. I have told
you this.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I like to cold plunge.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yes, but cold plunging is not like a shower is
supposed to be like replenishing and like relaxing, and I'm
gonna be in there for a little bit. A cold
plunge is like, let's do this for two minutes.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
No, But if I am not able to cold plunge
or do cry therapy or something, then I'll be like, okay,
I'm going in. I said a timer, and I take
a cold shower, and I should get back to that.
But I got it really, really into hot, hot, hot
showers this winter, and I guess my skin is having
a reaction. And he told me like, look, I could
probably come up with something else and charge you a
(09:41):
bunch of money, but really what you need to do
is take a lukewarm shower. Trust me.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
That was nice of him. He sounds like a good guy. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
And then he gave me some Seravey samples and I said,
so I can just use this Seravey, which I love.
But then I was like, I what about all this
other stuff I see on Instagram in TikTok. He's like, well,
people are really good at marketing, and I'm like, I know,
but they make me feel like this is what your skin.
Your skin is thirsty for this, and I'm like, yeah,
(10:11):
my skin is thirsty for that.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But he's not selling you products.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
No. I mean he has stuff for your face. I
have a skincare routine I love and he knows that.
So no, he's not trying to push anything on me.
But he's like your face, your neck, your chest, go whatever.
He's like, but your arms and your legs, especially in
the winter. He's like, just stuff from the drug store.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
He said, no, no scented yeah, body wash or lotions
correct what?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. But he
also said, and no fabric softener.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
No, oh, no dryer sheet. Okay, I actually have a
question about the dryer sheets. I don't use fabric softener.
I think just because I don't want to buy an
extra thing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Dryer sheets. Apparently we're not just to be using these
at all.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
My sister uses these.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Balls, the wool something woolballs.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I forgot, so I think I'm gonna get some of those.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Okay, do you use dryer sheet?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
But wait, why is it in the winter you're not
just to use them because of the irritation of your skin.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
That's what he said.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I didn't ask him to elaborate, but he said something
about our skin barrier being more sensitive in the winter.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I read something and that this is not fact checked,
so this could be not that true. But I read
that dryer sheets actually make your clothes last shorter, like.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
They don't last as long.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
How why could I not say that same thing with
fabric softwer, Like even if you buy Lululemon, you know
it says in the thing, don't use fabric softener.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
On Lulemon clothes. Mm hm oh I never really read
the directions.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Me neither, but I know that I've seen that, and
I'm like, screw it. I'm using the fabric.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Softwer because I'm coating on the clothes, is what I
was reading.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yeah, So I was at the store, so I got
distilled white vinegar and I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Use that as a What does that do?
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I don't know. I just did a quick google and
it said that it could be a replacement to fabric software.
That's not going to be an irritant.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
But dang it, your laundry detergent smells so good.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I know. That's what I told him. I said, do
you have you ever smelled the clothes ginger mango method?
Because it smells really good. I used to love that
stuff and I would talk about it on here. What's
the thing from that store by the movie theater buff
Buff City?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I've never heard of that. Whatever you have, I've.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Heard of it because I've talked about it.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah. Wait is the store called Buff City? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Yes, and they have this detergent called Narcissist and it
smells so bad.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
I remember.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
That's what I feel like. I remember smelling. And you
can't use it anymore.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
No. I started to get a rash. And that's just me.
My friend, oh my other cat, Yeah cry, Okay, she
loves it and uses it. She just went to Buff
City and got some the other days. So don't not
use it because my weird skin. Apparently I can't do anything.
I need to gut you have distilled vinegart. You can
wash your clothes boiling water, actually cold water. I have
(12:56):
to get like, what is that stuff for babies?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Like drift?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
What? I just see it at the grocery Store's got
a baby on it, so I figure it's gentle.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
What is it drift? I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
I think it's baby clothes wash for babies.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Baby baby laundry detortion.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yes, I don't know, maybe it's not. I just feel
like I've seen draft and it has a baby on
honestly saying dreft or drift d R e F T drest. Okay,
I thought you were like pronouncing. I know that you
have an article or something that you're going to go
over some things. Maybe while you do that, I'm going
(13:39):
to look.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Up what draft is. Okay, well I have Oh.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
But hold on, but we didn't finish the email. So Natalie,
we're talking about the happy line.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Oh well, you answered your question.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I did well, I was gonna say. I replied to
her with the link, and I'll link it in the
show notes so that y'all can see if you are
interested in a happy light and read their views and
see if it's something that you think might work for
you because I do is a brand.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Or is it like just what those kind of lights
are called, and you can get it from like Amazon.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
You can probably get any kind of light that has
the same function. Happy Light is the brand, so you
could even click on it just to get there and
scroll through and find a better one. I feel like
I tried to find the best Happy Light and I
can't remember if I bought that because someone else had
recommended that specific brand and.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I got out on your body or you have to
have it on.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
You can just have it on like while you're doing things,
Like if you're sitting at your desk, you can have
your Happy Light on. Cat take it away.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
I have five habits of the successful, and this is
from medium dot com.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Like these successful.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
It's in Capital the Successful.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Okay, it's an article by Alexmathers from medium dot com.
So I'm gonna go over these five and you can
tell me if you agree and maybe if you do
them if you want to be part of the successful.
So the first one is they spend less time ruminating
on setbacks. Most people make their lives far harder than
it needs to be by spending considerable chunks of time
(15:26):
and their thoughts. This won't bring the intended benefits. In fact,
we make ourselves feel considerably worse through worry. This destroys
our focus and the performance needed for taking action and
making an impact. Train yourself to recover from setbacks by
getting back into motion quickly.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Nice. Do you feel like you ruminate on setbacks?
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Sometimes I do, but I try to move past.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
What it is. Yeah, Okay. Two is consume what fe consume.
I really like this one.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
If you're reading what ninety five percent of your colleagues
or peers are reading, you're doing the opposite of differentiation.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
This applies to experiences too.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Being and thinking more like anyone else makes it harder
to compete and stand out, read and consume what most
others are not. Success isn't about fitting in. You want
to do everything you can to bring value in a
way that no one else can match.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I like that. I really like that challenge accepted.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Because I feel like a lot of the things that
which sometimes that's for a good reason. Like you're reading
a book that somebody recommends, or somebody does this, so
you feel like you have to do that. But this
is saying if you're successful, you're actually not looking at
what other people are doing. You're reading and consuming what
interests you.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Number three, they're provocative. Those who go far rarely set
out to be liked by everyone. Oh, this is tough.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
They prioritize creating polarity in their audience. This means that
many people who come across what they share will dislike
what they stand for. This also means that over time
they collect a group of very high, highly loyal supporters.
This is hard, very I could talk about this idea
for hours and maybe we'll save it for another day.
(17:08):
But that's what you see like on social media, like
the people with a lot of followers, like they have
people that hate them and they have people that like
love them.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Oh, I think that would be an interesting episode. If
we want to do like a deep dive into that
particular thing, we.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Could do it.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Number four work when others are chilling. Successful people often
have a powerful purpose that makes it a no brainer
for them to turn down invites and offers from others
to stop working so hard and come join us.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I don't like this. I don't like that one now.
I have like an adverse reaction to that in my body.
As I was reading then do less.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
But I mean, I guess, depending on where you want
to go, what type of success you want, there may
be some years that take more grinding, like when you
are opening your own practice, you had to make sacrifices.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Yeah, when I look back, I was talking about this
other day with Patrick that a couple of years before
I met him, I don't know that we would have
worked out because all I wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Is work, and now all you want to do is chill.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Oh yeah, all I want to just chill. Okay.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Number five, this is the last one. They are problems centric.
Successful people don't become successful by avoiding problems. Problem avoidance
and comfort seeking is for the general masses who are
satisfied with the vanilla existence Vanilla. We're not French vanilla.
I'm not We're We're not just playing vanilla. We're French
French vanilla.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
So yeah, we are the successful.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Which that's a reference to a previous episode. But our loyal.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Followers, no, they get it.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
They get it if they're here, they're loyal.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Picture of somebody crawling up a wall like a cat.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
That was my sister. I need to find that photo.
I wanted to tell her. Christy do I have your
permission to post this or you should post it and
I'll repost you because people need to know. So draft,
you know the detergent, Yeah, it is for babies at draft.
Safety comes first and it never stops.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
So non hyper allergenic, no sense it says, so we
should wash our clothes on that.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I mean no, I think this is for if you're
a baby. I'm not sure, but I was just making
a joke about that. Maybe I need like unscented drift
because I'm like a baby. I'm very sensitive for some
things going on with my skin. And then I wasn't
sure if it was actually drift, So that's why I
wanted to look it up while you were doing that.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
If I never heard of that, what now that you've
heard of it, I feel like I'm gonna see it
Everywhere're gonna not everywhere, but probably on the detergent.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Store everywhere I go. I'm dreft.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
You're definitely gonna see it now because there's a baby
on the bottle.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Well, maybe I don't look at it because I've never
thought to buy baby desergent.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That makes sense, we need Okay, I don't know, I
have no more word.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah, so there's baby detergent for baby skin problems. I
need to adult detergent baby skin problems. Yeah, I have
like adult eggs. Muh. Maybe if any of you out
there are having similar issues, like what is your go
to detergent? Tell me all your tips and tricks, because
there are a lot of detergents that I love. Actually,
(20:15):
I think I'm gonna get the wool balls.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
That's your vinegar. No fabric softener is dry?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You're right?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Yeah, yeah, I forgot. I'm going to keep using vinegar.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Okay, have you tried it yet?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
It's way cheaper than do you know vinegar? It's like
you know on my big fat Greek wedding, like windex
solves everything. Yeah, I feel like distill fight vinegar might
solve a lot of things. I'll put together a list
that'll be my deep dive.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Okay, I as you're saying that, I can think of
one thing. It does It gets stains out of rugs.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Yeah, it gets smells out of but no it doesn't
because it smells. Trust me, it gets peace smell out.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
But then are you smelling vinegar? Did you want?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
No?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
But I have people in my life, the peede and
it's gotten the smell out, so that's you know. I
feel like white vinegar for that. I feel like it
cleans certain things. I just feel like I'm gonna start
using white vinegar more for things.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Okay, you don't know the.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Long list of what it's gonna do, but you just wait.
I will update you.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
You use it for something, you have to put it
on a note, Okay.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yeah, all right, Cat? Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
On Instagram? At Kat van Buren.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And I am at Radio Amy and we hope you
are having the day you need to have. Bye,
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat and today's quote is unknown. It's a meme
of sorts. Some days I amaze myself. Other days I
put my keys in the fridge.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I feel like you would do that on purpose, though.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Have you heard of fridge scaping?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Is that making your fridge look really pretty? Landscaping for
your fridge?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yes, and people are putting a photo albums, picture frames,
wait wait to work because think of how many times
you open your fridge and how fun if you open
it up and you're.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Like, oh, cute, you're doing that.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, they are. It's called fridge scaping.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Has a name that was more like making your fridge
look color coded and having all like your drink set
up cute.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Well, you could do that too, because that's pretty if
you're into that.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I feel like I keep the room in their fridge
to put a picture frame in it.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I keep a tidy fridge. I feel like I get
out of picture frame.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I cannot.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I do have a fun email from a listener named Kelly,
and it's an update she emailed us a couple of
years ago, which shout out for people that have been
listening for multiple years and that are emailing. You know,
maybe they haven't emailed in a couple of years, but
they think, oh, I'm going to give an update, which
I've been reading some different updates. So I think that
(01:16):
puts some people's heads too, like, oh, I have an update,
which we love, so please send A few have emailed before,
and you have an update. So she said, Hey, Amy
and Kat I emailed a couple of years ago about
a crazy thing my husband and I were doing. Tried
to build a house on forty acres in California. Well
we pivoted our dream about a year ago. Which pause,
(01:37):
this is me talking now. My episode last Thursday came
from your Three Courts Therapy newsletter.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Which I did not write that. Yeah, arsked it, Okay,
I didn't want to take credit for it.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, And it was all about permission to change your mind.
And I love that this email touches on that too.
And she sent this before she ever even heard that episode,
so it would have been perfect for me to read
in that episode because she changed her mind and it
was a big dream that she had put out there,
and that's one of those things where you have permission
(02:09):
to change your mind about what you want to eat
for dinner, about a relationship, about whether or not you
want to go out one night. And if you put
a big dream out there, you have permission to change
and no one's going to think less of you for it.
So here you go. She said. We pivoted our dream
about a year ago. We had lived on the land
for about two years and just decided it wasn't the
(02:31):
right location, so we moved off and had been trying
to sell ever since. Sometimes it's hard to have a
dream that doesn't come to fruition. That's okay. We have
simply shifted our dream, which I love too that this
is an example side note of sometimes our mind gets
changed for us, Like we get to shift based on
(02:56):
information we're receiving.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Yeah, like you did the thing and then you're like, wait,
this actually isn't it.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, you're allowed to listen to that.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yes, And if it's not working out, sometimes we will
grind and push and grind to make it work. And
it's not going to when everything's right in front of
our face, which she said, like, it's hard that it
wasn't coming to fruition. But they didn't stay there and
try to force it. They flowed with it. She said,
that's okay. We have simply shifted our dream. We now
(03:26):
plan to retire early at fifty five and move to Thailand.
We have been studying Thai for about a year. It's
the hardest language I have ever learned.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
This layers.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I don't know she's a teacher, so I know I'm
kind of jealous of that. This year, we're going to
be spending the entire summer there parentheses bonus for being teachers.
We're going to be traveling and celebrating our twenty fifth
anniversary and scoping out potential retirement locations. We were also
lucky enough to be able to go over the holiday
(03:57):
break and be a part of our Thai teacher's wedding there,
which how cool that they have this taie teacher have
a relationship with and then they're going over there and
they're like, yeah, I want to be a part of
your wedding. I feel like Kelly and her husband are
awesome people. I've also been trying to think of a
word of the year for me, and when I heard
you and Kat talking on the fifth thing today, I
really liked when Kat suggested stretch. I feel like that's
(04:20):
going to be my word. I definitely need to stretch
more physically, mentally, and socially, So thank you. I am
taking this as my word. I want to stretch and
become a better wife, friend, mother, teacher, athlete, in parentheses, recreational,
a taie speaker, and sometimes this might mean something I
(04:42):
might be hesitant to do. I never karaoke, and my
husband would love it if I did, so maybe I
stretch my comfort there too.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
See how they seem so sung.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I want to hang out with them, like, let's go
karaoke anyway. Thanks. If you read all my ram, I
appreciate how open you are with all of us whom
you've never met. Perhaps if you do another live podcast someday,
I'll be able to make it and say hi, your
friend in California, Kelly, Well shoot, let's do the next
live in Thailand.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
That'd be awesome.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Actually, really, you're only guest. The only downside would be
the flight. How far away is that?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You think far? Like a twenty hour flight?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
It's all I can tell you. Okay, no idea. I've
never been over there.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
You've never researched this, Okay.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Her life sounds so cool, sounds like she's already stretching,
but I guess that might.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Not be stretch for her. Like now I feel like
I need to stretch it. Thank you Kelly for sending that.
I do have another email. This one is just a
question from Natalie. She said, Hey, Amy, I remember you
talking about a Vitamin D light in Prince's Happy Light
that you had gotten, and if I remember correctly, maybe
(05:56):
you even got one for Bobby. Do you have a link?
I did check your Amazon page. I didn't see anything there.
Thanks so much, which I replied to her, and I
sent her the link. But have you heard of a
happy light?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
I meant to ask you about this because I remember
you talking about it too, and I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Do some research on it.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Okay, because of just the winter and it's cold and
I haven't been outside.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, I didn't know if I talked about here on
the Fifth Thing or Fourth Things, or if I just
talked about on the Bobby Bone Show or where. But
light in the morning is so good for you, and
sometimes you can't get that light first thing in the morning,
so you could use your Happy light or just light
in general if you work in doors a lot. But
like you said, even winter just that seasonal depression, which
(06:36):
I was just reminded when I was talking to my
college roommate this week about antidepressant. She's trying to shift
off of one, and I said, well, pause, you may
want to consult with your doctor, which I'm sure that
you are. She has a family of doctors, so I
know they know what they're doing. But I just reminded
her that it is winter. And I tried to get
(06:56):
off of well beutrin in the winter and that did
not go well. So I got back on it and
then I was able to successfully get off of it
because that was the right move for me in the
summer when it was sunny out.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
When you can not replace but there's other things you
can do that you just can't do in the winter. Yeah,
it's twenty degrees outside. I'm personally not going for a
walk outside.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
No, we're taping this ahead of time a little bit,
so I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you. Did
you know in a couple of days it's going to
be ten degrees here? That's what my dermatologist told you
today through this though he moonlights as a weather man.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Wait, I'm sorry, how did it come up? Like he
just was like, you don't have anything to talk about.
So he's like, so the weather's going to change. Your
dermatologist doesn't have to create conversation with you. No.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
But we were talking about my skin and how itchy
it has been, and he was checking out this pre
cancer spot on my nose again because I've been trying
to get that scabby part gone. So he froze it
again to day and we'll see what happens. But then
we start talking about other parts of my skin where
I was like, look, see this like rash thing and
(08:08):
he said, oh, that's eczema. He said it's probably flaring
up in the winter. It's really really cold, and your
skin is dry. I said, well, I'm moisturizing, that's the thing.
He said, well, how hot are your showers? I said, oh,
they're hot as they should, really hot showers because I'm
so cold all the time. And he's like, lukewarm. We
(08:31):
only take lukewarm showers, especially in the winter. He's like, lukewarm,
and stop using any scented things. And he said that
our skin barrier in the winter is just different than
it is in the summer, so we need to protect
it in other ways.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I don't like the information he's giving you. It's probably right.
But a lukewarm shower, yeah, that feels cold to me.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I mean I can take it like showers, so it's fine.
I like cold.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I do love showers, yes, like wash your hair in
the cold shower.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yes, No, you don't one hundred percent. I have told
you this.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I like to cold plunge.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yes, but cold plunging is not like a shower is
supposed to be like replenishing and like relaxing, and I'm
gonna be in there for a little bit. A cold
plunge is like, let's do this for two minutes.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
No, But if I am not able to cold plunge
or do cry therapy or something, then I'll be like, okay,
I'm going in. I said a timer, and I take
a cold shower, and I should get back to that.
But I got it really, really into hot, hot, hot
showers this winter, and I guess my skin is having
a reaction. And he told me like, look, I could
probably come up with something else and charge you a
(09:41):
bunch of money, but really what you need to do
is take a lukewarm shower. Trust me.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
That was nice of him. He sounds like a good guy. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
And then he gave me some Seravey samples and I said,
so I can just use this Seravey, which I love.
But then I was like, I what about all this
other stuff I see on Instagram in TikTok. He's like, well,
people are really good at marketing, and I'm like, I know,
but they make me feel like this is what your skin.
Your skin is thirsty for this, and I'm like, yeah,
(10:11):
my skin is thirsty for that.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But he's not selling you products.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
No. I mean he has stuff for your face. I
have a skincare routine I love and he knows that.
So no, he's not trying to push anything on me.
But he's like your face, your neck, your chest, go whatever.
He's like, but your arms and your legs, especially in
the winter. He's like, just stuff from the drug store.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
He said, no, no scented yeah, body wash or lotions
correct what?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. But he
also said, and no fabric softener.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
No, oh, no dryer sheet. Okay, I actually have a
question about the dryer sheets. I don't use fabric softener.
I think just because I don't want to buy an
extra thing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Dryer sheets. Apparently we're not just to be using these
at all.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
My sister uses these.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Balls, the wool something woolballs.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I forgot, so I think I'm gonna get some of those.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Okay, do you use dryer sheet?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
But wait, why is it in the winter you're not
just to use them because of the irritation of your skin.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
That's what he said.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I didn't ask him to elaborate, but he said something
about our skin barrier being more sensitive in the winter.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I read something and that this is not fact checked,
so this could be not that true. But I read
that dryer sheets actually make your clothes last shorter, like.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
They don't last as long.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
How why could I not say that same thing with
fabric softwer, Like even if you buy Lululemon, you know
it says in the thing, don't use fabric softener.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
On Lulemon clothes. Mm hm oh I never really read
the directions.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Me neither, but I know that I've seen that, and
I'm like, screw it. I'm using the fabric.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Softwer because I'm coating on the clothes, is what I
was reading.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yeah, So I was at the store, so I got
distilled white vinegar and I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Use that as a What does that do?
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I don't know. I just did a quick google and
it said that it could be a replacement to fabric software.
That's not going to be an irritant.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
But dang it, your laundry detergent smells so good.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I know. That's what I told him. I said, do
you have you ever smelled the clothes ginger mango method?
Because it smells really good. I used to love that
stuff and I would talk about it on here. What's
the thing from that store by the movie theater buff
Buff City?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I've never heard of that. Whatever you have, I've.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Heard of it because I've talked about it.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah. Wait is the store called Buff City? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Yes, and they have this detergent called Narcissist and it
smells so bad.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
I remember.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
That's what I feel like. I remember smelling. And you
can't use it anymore.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
No. I started to get a rash. And that's just me.
My friend, oh my other cat, Yeah cry, Okay, she
loves it and uses it. She just went to Buff
City and got some the other days. So don't not
use it because my weird skin. Apparently I can't do anything.
I need to gut you have distilled vinegart. You can
wash your clothes boiling water, actually cold water. I have
(12:56):
to get like, what is that stuff for babies?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Like drift?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
What? I just see it at the grocery Store's got
a baby on it, so I figure it's gentle.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
What is it drift? I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
I think it's baby clothes wash for babies.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Baby baby laundry detortion.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yes, I don't know, maybe it's not. I just feel
like I've seen draft and it has a baby on
honestly saying dreft or drift d R e F T drest. Okay,
I thought you were like pronouncing. I know that you
have an article or something that you're going to go
over some things. Maybe while you do that, I'm going
(13:39):
to look.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Up what draft is. Okay, well I have Oh.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
But hold on, but we didn't finish the email. So Natalie,
we're talking about the happy line.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Oh well, you answered your question.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I did well, I was gonna say. I replied to
her with the link, and I'll link it in the
show notes so that y'all can see if you are
interested in a happy light and read their views and
see if it's something that you think might work for
you because I do is a brand.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Or is it like just what those kind of lights
are called, and you can get it from like Amazon.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
You can probably get any kind of light that has
the same function. Happy Light is the brand, so you
could even click on it just to get there and
scroll through and find a better one. I feel like
I tried to find the best Happy Light and I
can't remember if I bought that because someone else had
recommended that specific brand and.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I got out on your body or you have to
have it on.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
You can just have it on like while you're doing things,
Like if you're sitting at your desk, you can have
your Happy Light on. Cat take it away.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
I have five habits of the successful, and this is
from medium dot com.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Like these successful.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
It's in Capital the Successful.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Okay, it's an article by Alexmathers from medium dot com.
So I'm gonna go over these five and you can
tell me if you agree and maybe if you do
them if you want to be part of the successful.
So the first one is they spend less time ruminating
on setbacks. Most people make their lives far harder than
it needs to be by spending considerable chunks of time
(15:26):
and their thoughts. This won't bring the intended benefits. In fact,
we make ourselves feel considerably worse through worry. This destroys
our focus and the performance needed for taking action and
making an impact. Train yourself to recover from setbacks by
getting back into motion quickly.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Nice. Do you feel like you ruminate on setbacks?
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Sometimes I do, but I try to move past.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
What it is. Yeah, Okay. Two is consume what fe consume.
I really like this one.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
If you're reading what ninety five percent of your colleagues
or peers are reading, you're doing the opposite of differentiation.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
This applies to experiences too.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Being and thinking more like anyone else makes it harder
to compete and stand out, read and consume what most
others are not. Success isn't about fitting in. You want
to do everything you can to bring value in a
way that no one else can match.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I like that. I really like that challenge accepted.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Because I feel like a lot of the things that
which sometimes that's for a good reason. Like you're reading
a book that somebody recommends, or somebody does this, so
you feel like you have to do that. But this
is saying if you're successful, you're actually not looking at
what other people are doing. You're reading and consuming what
interests you.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Number three, they're provocative. Those who go far rarely set
out to be liked by everyone. Oh, this is tough.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
They prioritize creating polarity in their audience. This means that
many people who come across what they share will dislike
what they stand for. This also means that over time
they collect a group of very high, highly loyal supporters.
This is hard, very I could talk about this idea
for hours and maybe we'll save it for another day.
(17:08):
But that's what you see like on social media, like
the people with a lot of followers, like they have
people that hate them and they have people that like
love them.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Oh, I think that would be an interesting episode. If
we want to do like a deep dive into that
particular thing, we.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Could do it.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Number four work when others are chilling. Successful people often
have a powerful purpose that makes it a no brainer
for them to turn down invites and offers from others
to stop working so hard and come join us.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I don't like this. I don't like that one now.
I have like an adverse reaction to that in my body.
As I was reading then do less.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
But I mean, I guess, depending on where you want
to go, what type of success you want, there may
be some years that take more grinding, like when you
are opening your own practice, you had to make sacrifices.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Yeah, when I look back, I was talking about this
other day with Patrick that a couple of years before
I met him, I don't know that we would have
worked out because all I wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Is work, and now all you want to do is chill.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Oh yeah, all I want to just chill. Okay.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Number five, this is the last one. They are problems centric.
Successful people don't become successful by avoiding problems. Problem avoidance
and comfort seeking is for the general masses who are
satisfied with the vanilla existence Vanilla. We're not French vanilla.
I'm not We're We're not just playing vanilla. We're French
French vanilla.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
So yeah, we are the successful.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Which that's a reference to a previous episode. But our loyal.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Followers, no, they get it.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
They get it if they're here, they're loyal.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Picture of somebody crawling up a wall like a cat.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
That was my sister. I need to find that photo.
I wanted to tell her. Christy do I have your
permission to post this or you should post it and
I'll repost you because people need to know. So draft,
you know the detergent, Yeah, it is for babies at draft.
Safety comes first and it never stops.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
So non hyper allergenic, no sense it says, so we
should wash our clothes on that.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I mean no, I think this is for if you're
a baby. I'm not sure, but I was just making
a joke about that. Maybe I need like unscented drift
because I'm like a baby. I'm very sensitive for some
things going on with my skin. And then I wasn't
sure if it was actually drift, So that's why I
wanted to look it up while you were doing that.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
If I never heard of that, what now that you've
heard of it, I feel like I'm gonna see it
Everywhere're gonna not everywhere, but probably on the detergent.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Store everywhere I go. I'm dreft.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
You're definitely gonna see it now because there's a baby
on the bottle.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Well, maybe I don't look at it because I've never
thought to buy baby desergent.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That makes sense, we need Okay, I don't know, I
have no more word.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah, so there's baby detergent for baby skin problems. I
need to adult detergent baby skin problems. Yeah, I have
like adult eggs. Muh. Maybe if any of you out
there are having similar issues, like what is your go
to detergent? Tell me all your tips and tricks, because
there are a lot of detergents that I love. Actually,
(20:15):
I think I'm gonna get the wool balls.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
That's your vinegar. No fabric softener is dry?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You're right?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Yeah, yeah, I forgot. I'm going to keep using vinegar.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Okay, have you tried it yet?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
It's way cheaper than do you know vinegar? It's like
you know on my big fat Greek wedding, like windex
solves everything. Yeah, I feel like distill fight vinegar might
solve a lot of things. I'll put together a list
that'll be my deep dive.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Okay, I as you're saying that, I can think of
one thing. It does It gets stains out of rugs.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Yeah, it gets smells out of but no it doesn't
because it smells. Trust me, it gets peace smell out.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
But then are you smelling vinegar? Did you want?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
No?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
But I have people in my life, the peede and
it's gotten the smell out, so that's you know. I
feel like white vinegar for that. I feel like it
cleans certain things. I just feel like I'm gonna start
using white vinegar more for things.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Okay, you don't know the.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Long list of what it's gonna do, but you just wait.
I will update you.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
You use it for something, you have to put it
on a note, Okay.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yeah, all right, Cat? Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
On Instagram? At Kat van Buren.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
And I am at Radio Amy and we hope you
are having the day you need to have. Bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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