Not only does Amy bring the craziest story about her niece and her boyfriend, she also has a breakthrough as to why celebrating her birthday is a little uncomfortable. Kat provides today’s quote: “Don’t be so attached to who you are in the present that you don’t give your future self a chance” from Vin Jang after she heard him on another podcast. This quote leads to conversation around CHANGE!! Speaking of change, next Tuesday (March 25th) is the big announcement that Amy & Kat have been so excited to tell you about. They also talk about Amy’s improv & more!
HAVE THE BIRTHDAY YOU NEED TO HAVE!
Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Vanburen // @KatVanburen // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and Kat's got our quote today. I guess
you were listening to a podcast as you were driving
to my house and you heard the person say this,
and you're like, oh, does this sark quote for today?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
So I had to stop and voice my mother to
you because I couldn't write it down. But it comes
from the diary of a CEO podcast and it was
about public speaking. But this can be applied to so
many things. The guest on the show's name was Ben Jong,
and he said, I say all the time, don't be
so attached to who you are in the present. You
don't give the future version of you a chance. And
(00:38):
I can say what that brings up for me, But
when you think about that, what comes up for you?
Because I feel like a lot of times we're taught
to love and accept and cherish every part of you
just the way you are.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, and I'm really trying to. But I'm also, you know, lately,
have been very focused on eighty year old me. Yeah, well,
so I'm thinking about me later, like you know, with
my face fitness and my stretching and trying to keep
my bones and muscles strong so that when I fall
when I'm elderly, and I can get.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Back up, which is great.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Which I was singing jumba wamba before we hit record,
and you were like, what, you don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Why you were singing it? You don't know. I get
knocked down, but I get up again.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You do know it?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Oh well, you were acting like you've never heard that song.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I said, why are you singing this?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Oh well, you said why are you singing it? And
I heard who are you singing?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
And what is that song? That was a real I
was probably an elementary school.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I was in high school.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Okay, my older brother had that CD. That's why I
remember that song so well. But I do want to
say this quote when he was talking about how people
change their voices and how you have the power to
change your voice if you don't like your voice, but
people don't do it because they think that then they'll
sound fake. And he was like, well, you'll only be
(02:00):
feel fake because you aren't used to it. But once
that becomes part of how you talk, that's in yourself.
You're subconscious, that is who you are. And so he
was talking about it in that context of changing your voice.
But as I was thinking about it to me, it
brought up like I can't start that thing because I
can't all of a sudden want to be an actress
(02:22):
because I'm not an actress. Or I can't start playing
a sport because like I'm not sporty, or I can't
do art because I'm not an artist. That would be inauthentic.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Present you isn't right.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Future you could be is going to be. Yeah, And
so we don't do all of these things because they
feel inauthentic, because it feels like we can't or not,
we're not allowed to evolve. We have to like remain
these people, which is similar to like your recent I guess,
is this an epiphany or really just something you're focusing on.
Is allowing yourself to change your mind?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, the same kind of along the same line. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I mean, we have our announcement next Tuesday, the twenty fifth.
I'm allowed to change my mind.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Because you are, and so am I, and so is
anybody who's listening.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, it's also not so much in this aspect I
feel like that a mind was changed or minds were changed.
It's just that evolution is occurring, evolving and we're evolving
and if you're not evolving, you're dead.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
So when you could say I have to do this
this way because I've always done it this way.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Well, then authentic start talking lot this and then eventually
you will.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
And I was telling you that's like Ariana Grande. If
you listen to her voice, please just for the rest
of the episode talking about British accent.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But it'll fluctuate, like it'll go. I don't know how
to be consistent.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Can you do an Irish accent? Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Because I am Irish?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Oh No, I was just acting because I wish I could.
And it's so hard. I've watched videos on how to
do it.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
So our other friend Kat cry ocat she's, I guess
been messaging with some Irish guy.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Ooh is he like Irish? Has an accent from Ireland? Yeah,
he has some Irish in him.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
No, he's that could be me me too, No, you
have olive skin. I'm the Irish one. Yeah, you're like Italian.
I want Morgan on The Bobby Bone Show says Italian
like when she says yeah, Like we would say I'm
gonna have Italian food, she'd be like, oh, I'm gonna
have Italian. Where's she from Kansas?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
From like West Virginia or something, because I feel like
they say it like that. I can say that because
my mom's family's from West Virginia.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Well, you have very much Italian looking skin, and I
have very much Irish looking skin. And yes, the guy
that Kat is talking to and I say that loosely
has an Irish accent, like he's from Ireland. And so
I'm I don't know, I wish, I wish maybe we
had audio of him, because the only thing I can
think of is like Lucky Charms.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Charms. I watch Arms a video and the words that
they were trying to get it's would you like to
go to the perk or the gurden? Like they say
the park, it's perk perk. Would you like to go
to the perk or the garden?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, that's that's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I don't think so. I watched a lot of videos
during COVID on this and Australian is really hard to
all I got ISNR. That's how they say, like no,
they say nur.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
At my improv class the other night, we had to
all deliver sixty second rants about something. You had to
rant or rave so you to rave about something for
sixty seconds or rant about it.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I did a rave about therapy. I mean it was
just off the cuff. I was like, I don't know
what's due. People did like everything, like when I raved
about the best meal of the day breakfast. But when
you're on stage with them, so they're ranting or raving
about something, but you're behind them and you're their hype person,
and so whatever they're raving about or ranting about, you
(05:51):
join in with them. We were like, yeah, breakfast, yeah,
best meal of the day, bacon, yeah. And if the
person's like, oh yeah, pancakes, we'd be behind them. We'd
be like pancakes, pancakes. Like you just are supporting them fully.
And it's to paint this picture of when you're on
stage doing Improven, you are going back and forth with
(06:11):
a partner. You want to know that they have your back,
and you are in the moment you're kind of going
on and on. And I got up there and I
was like, I just want to talk about therapy and
how amazing it is, and they're like, yeah, therapy, And
I was.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Like, ketamine. Have you heard that? Ketamine? I was like,
that's what.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I'm talking about and like we go on and on drugs.
Yeah yeah. They were like, yeah, yeah, we're all broken.
We need help. I was lost and now I'm found.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
You need therapy, and you need therapy.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yes. So I was on stage ranting about that, and
the sixty seconds is forever. Yeah, you're like waiting for
the teacher to be like, okay, clock us up. And
it was just really funny to see everybody kind of
do their thing and also support each other and just
made me think if we had to like go up
there and do it in an accent and for like
sixty seconds to be like I would just say over
(07:06):
and over the perk and the garden, the park.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Another one was would you like a taco? But I
can't that. It was like a Turco. I can't do
it Turco. Something about taco was another one of the
sentences that she tried to teach. But I feel like
learning these accents would be very helpful for you. I
prov because for your own because if you're like doing
a fun character, you can pull these characters out, you know, yeah,
(07:32):
like change yourn accent change, Yeah, you see it changes
like your personality.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
And I feel like I'm like midwestern.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Yeah, and you could be a really sweetened midwestern sudden
would you like to go see? I try to do midwestern.
I just like Reddish would like to kiss Soto Pop.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Have you watched Meghan Markle's thing on Netflix?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
But I've seen a lot of contents about it? Really people?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
What are people saying?
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Well, she has a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I watched one and I loved it. I didn't. I
wouldn't say that I loved it. No, I haven't watched anymore,
so I wouldn't put it in that category. But I
was making a smoothie earlier today and I was alone
in my kitchen, and this is probably the improv class
coming out in me. But I'm alone with my dog
and my cat, and I'm making my smoothie, and I
kind of act like I'm Megan and I'm having a
(08:22):
friend over and I'm doing all the things that she's doing,
because that's what she's in this like fake house. It's
not her house. It must be her studio house where
she films and maybe does her little projects. But she
has like everything. And I don't even know what what
made me think of her because she's not she doesn't
have a British accent, but I guess because her husband
does and they were royalty, so are they not royalty anymore?
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Well, she didn't she correct Linda Kayling when she was
like I'm Sussex, Like she's still the Duchess of Sussex.
I don't really get the Royal family because it's more
of like a well.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
We need to get it if we're going to be it,
because if we're gonna talk like it and beat them, Yeah,
we need to understand what our art.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
She doesn't work for. They don't work for the Royal
Family anymore, so they still.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Have they're not We don't pay we we don't pay them,
but England doesn't pay for their lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
We now do pay for Megan Markle's lifestyle because we
probably are paying for some of the things that she's
a show on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
We pay for that well because we have a Netflix members. Yeah,
but we're not. It's not like we're giving them tax
money because we're definitely not. Well, what are people saying
about it?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Well, I think it's people. I don't really have an
opinion of Megan Markle because I don't know. I don't
really haven't deep dived into any of her stuff. I
haven't watched her show listen to our podcast, but I
think the consensus is she's a little pretentious and.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Well, let me tell you on the episode I watched, well,
actually I think Mindy was on. It was the guest
and she was wearing Zara pants.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Well, it's like also like she tries to be relatable.
But then Mindy said something like people would be so
surprised to hear that Megan Markle does X like some.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Normal She was making a fertata yes.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Or something like that, and she looked at Indy and
she was like, it's so funny that you keep calling
me Meghan Markle. You know I'm a Sussex.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
And it was very like, okay, Indy, I didn't have
to go back or I'll see when that happened, because
I don't think I caught onto that, but now I
want to to see so I can be in on
what everybody is saying about it, because I didn't really
pick up on any but vibes that rubbed me the
wrong way. I did find it awesome that she had
(10:34):
high low on. I think her her top and her
sweater were very expensive, but she did have on sorrow
pants and I was like, Wow, you're so relatable. Ours
are just like us, oral t.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
He's just like us. I think that she has a
lot of haters that watch things to find stuff like that,
so if you're not looking for it, you might not
notice those kinds of things. The impression I got is
she's trying to make herself very relatable, but she's not.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It's not relatable, okay, but I don't think so if
her goal with the show was to be like relatable.
Other than the Tzara pants, nothing about what she was
doing was really well. I mean, having her friend over
that she's not really really friends friends with but no,
and then it was like, got stuff in her own
garden and honey from her bees that she has like
sheet which is really cool, but she also has a
(11:23):
bee keeper that taught her how to do all of it,
and then she's making her own candles from her bees wax.
I guess I've actually watched because Mindy wasn't in that episode,
So now that I think about it, I've watched one
with some guy maybe her hair and makeup person, and
then maybe the first half of Mindy when they have
the fritata, but I don't know what they do after
(11:43):
they eat their pear yogurt parfe.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
What's the point of the show from your perspective?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Uh, well, the recipes look good.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
The one thing I saw she made was like a
rainbow fruit board. Well was that on? There?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Was that with the one the Mindy?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Well I never saw the rainbow for boy because I
didn't make it to that point, but I know that
Mindy was there. So they had the breakfast and then
later they were going to do fun things for kids parties,
and so maybe the rainbow fruit board is an idea
if you're hosting a kid's party, because kids will be like, oh,
it's a rainbow.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
What makes this show interesting?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Again, I haven't kept watching the Gays, so I don't
know that it's that interesting. But I did act as
if I was Megan Markle in my kitchen and I
was housting people, and that I had a film crew
here and nobody was here except for again, I got
my dog. But I'm like, oh, and then I just
picked these blueberries from my garden. Were no because she
doesn't have an English.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Accent, but you could still pretend.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
You're But the English accent is what made me think
of Megan Markle, which is why I did this, because
Megan's husband is English and also speaking of Europe, my
niece today is in Portugal and my boyfriend's in Portugal,
and they just met. My niece is studying abroad in Spain,
and she had some friends come visit her because her
(13:00):
birthdays tomorrow, and so they took a flight. Once you're
over there, it's easy to fly around, and they took
a flight to Portugal for the weekend and they got
an airbnb, like in the mountains, and then there's this
one park and bridge area in Porto, Portugal or something
I don't even know, and you watch the sunset, it's
really pretty. And we're on this group text, my sister,
(13:23):
my niece, and my boyfriend, and we have been ever
since we started dating officially because I wanted my sister
to get to know him because she hasn't met him
in person yet. And here they are halfway around the world,
and I just got a text on my phone and
it's them, like my boyfriend, his son to both of
(13:43):
his sons, and my niece in a picture together.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Which is so crazy that they met in Portugal versus
they might.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Hear like in Nashville or Colorado. Or something I know,
and that they were going to this same park already.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
It's not like oh I would know that. So text the.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Group and said, we're going to be at this place
watching the sunset at this time, and Adeline said, oh,
we're going there.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I thought she went there specifically to meet him, and
I was like, that was really good.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
They were already going to watch the sunset, so it
was that's well, that's meant to be.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Meant to be.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah, let me see what she said exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
My sister replied, oh, hey, wave emoji love this heart
heart heart. So I don't know that's screaming jealousy. Maybe
she's just a bigger person. And then I typed, omg
dying because it's just and there the pictures with the
sun setting. I can't stop smiling at it. It's just
the coolest thing. So there's that. You're a I wonder
(14:42):
what's the accent over there.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
In portuge Spanish in Portugal?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Right, So Portuguese, oh, which I guess is probably a
similar similar to Spanish.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
So whatever a Spanish accent would be similar to that.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I don't really know. I just know like South Texas.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I can't do those accents.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, you can do no, my dad, no, I can
do what what some Spanish like yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
But how do you take that accent and put it
in English? Like how would you say? Little? Yes? Okay?
I was like just a little, just a little.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
What's good? What's good?
Speaker 2 (15:24):
What's what's good?
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Oh? I my dad would do. But my dad was
fluent in Spanish, so that was the problem. So sometimes
it's English. He would do like a Spanglish iichi wawa?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
My uncle had chihuahuas. He was also fluent in Spanish.
I chihuahua, So we had these huahas. And I have
this video of my dad and my uncle where they're
each holding a perro, a chihuahua, and they're just riffing
off of each other in Spanish. I don't even know
really what they're saying. But then at the end of
the video, like either my uncle or my dad goes,
(15:59):
I gi wawa and then they just laugh and then
the videos in it ends, and it's one of my
most cherished videos of my dad, which I'm so thankful
we live in an age where we have the technology
to relive stuff like that. I mean a couple of
generations ago, they didn't have memories on their phone that
they could just go to right away. So as annoyed
(16:21):
as I am with technology, at times, it's a blessing
and a curse because it's moving at such a rapid pace,
like I can't yeah, and then the next five years
like who knows. It's just too much. So sometimes I
just want to like throw my phone in the river. Especially,
you know, because we were at on site and had
to hand in our phones, it was so freeing. I
(16:43):
had no fear in doing that. I'm like, yes, please
take my phone.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
And you can survive without it. I think the lie
that we tell ourselves is that we can't survive without it,
and that isn't true. There just might be some kind
of consequence, but it doesn't mean we would die. We
might miss out on something, but it might be worth it.
We should bring pagers back if there's an emergency, I'll
have my pager.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And then what you page me? And then I phone
and then I'll go get my phone. Okay, Like that's
I think that's because I mean when I had a pager,
I had to go use a payphone.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Oh no, you would then go to your phone, But
I guess my thought is a lot of times having
a phone is about like safety and stuff too. I
was thinking I used to go run in college because
I didn't have an iPhone in college, so I take
my iPod. I would have run on this path in
like kind of a sketchy area. It wasn't like really sketchy,
but something could have happened and I would go run
(17:35):
miles and miles without a phone. I would never go
on a run in my neighborhood without my phone. Now
because of my thought is what if I get hurt,
What if something happens, What if I don't know, I'm
gonna need to contact somebody. So but if I had
a pager, if something happened, I could page somebody mcnighe
one and then maybe they could like track my location
in the pager.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
We could I'm confused, I had a pager, But you
can page people from a pager.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh well I've never had a pager.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Okay, Well see I did, so I would get pages,
but I would have to use a phone to send
a page.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Well, this ruin is my theory. I think we could
create this though. We could update the pager where.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
You could say so I'm remembering it wrong.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Who knows.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Maybe you could page from a pager, but I don't
think so. I think I could only receive pages, and
once I got the page, I'd have to go to
a phone to make the phone call. And if you
wanted to send a page, you sent it from a phone.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I think this probably is already invented, but there has
to be something that like we have, whether it's a
watch or a oh yeah watch, No, but then I'm watching.
It's just the same thing that the only function it
has is to alert if there's an emergency. Yeah, but
I can be reached if there's an emergency.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Well, I think you could. If you wanted to take
your phone with you for safety, you could put it
on do not disturb and only your emergency contact people
can get through. And then you can lock all your apps.
Just lock them up.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Yeah, but then I can unlock them. We've all taken
our phones on walks thinking we're gonna just listen to music,
and then I find myself opening up Instagram.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
You were talking about running with your iPod. I used
to run with my entire CD player.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
No you did it, Yes I did?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
And did you just hold it?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yeah? Or was there like a huge pocket in your pants.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No, I would hold it like I would run and
hold it and try to keep it flat so it
wouldn't skip.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
And you had the headphone set whenever here. Yeah, like
the phone.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I mean I remember carrying my like three CD cases
with me on every road trip we would go on.
I would bring every CD I owned. That's what I
packed my Walkman Is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Or disc? Yeah, Walkskman disc because Walkman. I had the
cassette player, cassette tape Walkman, and then I guess Walkman
also made the disc players too.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah. By the time I was running, we had iPods,
so thank god.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, No, I was running with my CD player. Was
actually kind of hilarious. That was a long, long, long,
long time ago. And here we are the day that
people are listening to this. I'll be turning forty four,
which four plus four is eight, So I don't know
what that means.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Where are we going with this.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Is an infinity number? Yeah, it's my infinity year. So
that means you're gonna live forever forever? Yeah, the way
technology is going. Yes, I was listening to some podcasts
the other day that said that we might be a
generation closer to living a very long time, not forever,
but way longer than we do.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Now, what's a long time?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Go over one hundred or at least with you know,
like into our eighties and nineties.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Without living a better quality life.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Depends and stuff. Oh I don't know, yes, like a
better quality of life, like living older. And I can't
even tell you what I was listening to exactly, but
the guests did say this, and there they do a
lot of the biohacking and do you know what that is?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Well, so I have to can I share this? Yeah?
So I was watching the Kardashians today, which is a
new thing for me, and honestly it's brought me some joy.
They went to meet with I don't know his name,
but he founded Venmo, sold it and now he's one
of like the richest people and he is this big
quote unquote biohacker, and they did a whole tour of
(21:15):
like his lab or his house or something. But he
was talking about how he believes that we can live forever,
and they were like, well, like eventually we're gonna die,
and he was like no, he was like dead serious
that he thinks that he can live forever, and I
don't know that I want to live forever? Also, what
does that due to humanity? But the funny thing is
(21:35):
is then in like the interviews they did of like
Kim and I think it was Chloe and her mom,
they asked each of them because they went to this
dinner event thing and they're like, oh yeah, I love biohacking.
This is so interesting. And then in their like private interviews,
what are they the confessional things? The producer asked each
of them, so do you know what biohacking is? How
(21:56):
would you describe it? And none of them could.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I guess in a nutshell, I would say doing things
that better your overall health and well being, like turning
back the clock on your biological age, so you have
chronological age, so like I'm turning forty four, but because
of all the biohacking.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I do, you're twenty five.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
I'm basically twenty five. I don't do any biohacking, which
I just googled him. His name's Brian Johnson. Did you
say that?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
No? I didn't know. Okay.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
He's a tech entrepreneur who co founded Braintree, which acquired
Venmo and sold it to PayPal for eight hundred million,
and he's known for his pursuit of longevity and his
project Blueprint to Reverse the aging process.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So he's forty seven. He said that he's biologically.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
So guess did I just realized?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
What was he? The guy?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
No, this isn't who I was listening to. I was
listening to people that were talking. They weren't saying they
have the answer. They were saying we're gonna get there.
We're about a generation away from that, if not sooner
because of how it's moving so rapidly. Scary, so with
the advancements and the technology and the research, like we're
getting closer. Scary but also amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I guess I'm thinking he was like, I'm gonna live forever.
I'm like, we can't all live forever because then we're
gonna have to be too many people, and then we
can't have babies, and then we're just gonna be like
one hundred and fifty year old twelve year olds.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
I just mentally true, Tu're true? Okay, so right, you're
just gonna keep living in our treasurement farm. Yes, So
as I'm looking him up cry okat this weekend because
she invited me to this, but I was like, I
can't go. She's going to Miami to his Don't Die summit.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
This is the.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Guy, and she's going with another friend of ours and
it's the number one longevity event and it's in Miami
on March twenty seconds. So that's where she's gonna be,
which is so crazy because I'd never even heard of
this guy. When she told me about this, that's when
I've heard about him. And then I didn't realize he
was saying related to Venmo at all. And when you
said that, I was like, well, I'm gonna google then Mo,
(24:07):
guy who thinks he's gonna live forever. And this is
the guy that came up while you were talking. It says,
what will you gain from the Don't Die Summit? You're
gonna never die like minded people, discover the newest therapies
and technologies, experience longevity on your plate. Ooh, he's gonna
be serving people the Blueprint diet, right.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
So they ate a meal. This is where I'm sure
that there are so many tips and things and things
that we can do in ways that he can teach
us to live a better healthier life. And the extreme
to which he did this to me, derails the quality
of life. It's like, I don't want to live that
long off the quality of my life has to deteriorate.
And they had a meal and he told them what
(24:48):
they're eating, and he said something to the same sense
of everything that you're about to eat has a purpose,
and like none of it's for enjoyment, because in his mind,
every calorie has to fight for its life in your body.
So they were eating just like and thin. It was
like broccoli, some kind of lentile, maybe a mushroom, but
there's no like seasoning or way to make it look fine.
(25:11):
It just was like that's what they are eating. And
then they took a shot of olive oil at the end,
which honestly, I'm not against shots of olive oil. There
are benefits. But Chloe was like, I thought this was
gonna be like some psychedelic mushroom shot or something fun
or cool. And then she was like, I'm just taking
a shot of olive oil. I don't really want to
do that. She was funny because she wasn't as like
into it. And then the Chris was funny too. Kim
(25:34):
was like all up in it. But my point in
sharing this is sure, we can do some of that
and it can be very helpful. But he said he
never ever cause Chloe was like, what's your cheat meal?
He was like, I will never go off of this plan,
the therapies I do. I will never chain do anything
(25:55):
that doesn't fit into this regimen that I've created. So
that means all of his workouts, all of his like
light therapies, or he also look, there's a plastic surgeon
there as right.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Look he looks like a vampire.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Well, that's what they're saying. They were like, his skin
is like translucent. His eyeballs were so white, which they
were saying, what is that part of your eyeball called?
Why can't I think of it?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It is called something obviously let me you keep talking.
All look up parts of the eye.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Okay. It was like the brightest white and they're saying, like,
that's a way that you can see health in somebody.
But also he does have plastic surgery, which to me
goes against his he does like what does he Well,
there was a plastic surgeon there.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
The skull sclera is.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
That what it's called.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
So the iris is the color, yeah, the people dot
in the middle is the pupil and looks like sclera
is the white part.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Oh, that's not a I didn't know that, or.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
The lens, the anterior chamber, the cornea.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Okay, we're getting too far into the eyeball, which also
I learned on that episode because Andrey huber Moon was
on it and he was saying, yes, the eyeball is
is the only part of the brain we can see
from the outside, which is interesting, which shows like the
health of your brain. I guess, he said.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
The conjunctiva. There's lots of parts. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
It's like pink eye conjunctivitis.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Well, and the white part turns pink, so maybe it
is the conjunctiva. But he said people conjunctiva.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
People accuse him of being AI generated because he looks
so like like he looks like a robot in real life.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Yeah, so does that do that? No, No, I'm not
going to the don't die summit, but I am into
anything that may help me have a higher quality of life.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah, so I think that's what you take what you
want from that, But you don't have to go all
the way to the extreme because and then at some
point I would assume your quality of life would be exaffering.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I guess for him it's working, so it's not. But
who knows. We don't really know how happy he is.
Who knows.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
We just know his eyeballs are really white.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
The happiest human on the earth, and he's got it
totally figured out. But he also has tons of money.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Tons of money and time. I can spend all the time.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
And time, and that's not realistic. And so for those
of us that don't, we find joy in certain meals
that maybe aren't blueprint and activities like sleeping in one
day just because we don't feel like doing our other activity,
or laying on the couch watching something.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
And he said his last meal of the day is
at eleven o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Why, like, when do you start eating?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Then? I don't hear something about how his all his
biohacking things he does with saying all these things that
I'm like, so, what do you do the rest of
the day and what if you're hungry?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Well, he doesn't deviate. So one of the things that
our family therapists at on site told Ben and I
to watch with the kids is that documentary Blue Zones,
which I've never watched it, have you. I've heard of
it and seen different clips. I think it's on Netflix.
Let me search it up real quick, Live to one
hundred Secrets of the Blue Zones. And her intent behind
(29:00):
us watching it wasn't so we'll live longer. But if
y'all listened to previous episodes, I guess the last time
you werero on we talked about it, and I think
last Thursday's episode I talked a little bit about on site,
but Stashira gave our therapist the theme and that all
happened organically. She went a little bit of a different
direction based on a question that Stashira had in her head,
(29:22):
which was how do I live my life to its fullest?
Which I thought was so awesome that that's the question
that came to her mind. Like that's her being seventeen
years old, looking around being like something's not right, Like
I'm how do I do this better? And I think
we all ask ourselves that whether we're a teenager, four
(29:44):
plus four equals eight, but people ask you how old
you are eight, I'm infinity. So I think her intent
in assigning us that which we haven't watched it yet,
I get the kids back this weekend. Maybe Been has
watched it with them, But I think it's to show
the quality of life of people that don't have all
(30:07):
the hustle and bustle that we have here, and showing
different activities and maybe even ways of eating that do
boost your dopamine and do help you feel better.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Have you watched that documentary Happy? It's kind of old,
probably like.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Twenty years old at least, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
It's similar where they go into other countries that are
economically you would look at them and be like, oh, wow,
we have so much more, but their happiness levels are
all way higher than those in America. I think they
looked at Japan and stuff like that, and they looked
at what actually creates and causes and brings us happiness
(30:45):
versus what we tell ourselves in more developed countries like
the United States. It was very interesting. We showed it
when I worked at an outpatient treatment center, so it
was people who were trying to find recovery from drugs, alcohol,
things like that, and it was showing them and even
me as the therapist, every time I watched it like, oh,
(31:06):
we have to remind ourselves that these things that we're
trying to manufacture happiness. That's not actually what brings it,
and look at these people who have none of that,
and they are enjoying their life ten times more than
we are. It was a lot about community, sharing, being
with people, the earth, nature, grounding, grounding, force, bathing.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
I don't know if that was on there, but because
of their conditions and where they are, they do a
lot of that stuff naturally. Where we have to put
it in our calendar.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yeah, well part of that's because we say other things
are more important.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, but like community, getting together, doing something for my birthday,
that's probably important because I tend to lean towards it's fine.
I don't really want to do anything for my birthday yea.
And when I was married, Ben would plan it if
he was not deployed and he was in town, and
he was always really good about that, gathering my friends together.
(32:01):
And then now that I'm single, I don't know, it
just feels weird. And I was doing a meditation that's
one of the things that I do for dopamine, and
it was this morning. I was doing just a three
minute meditation, so nothing overwhelming at all, but in that
three minutes I just pulled one up on YouTube, and
I believe it was Deepak Chopra walking you through a
(32:25):
three minute thing of He had you start out by
saying like, I am Amy Brown, and he's like, just
be say your naming. He goes, okay, now lose the
last name and I am Amy. And then you say
that for a little bit and then he's like, now
lose the amy and just I am and then he's like,
now take away that I am to just like a hum,
(32:46):
like a hm. So you strip away.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
It's like identity.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
You're m because you are just here in this moment.
And I don't know if it's because my birthday's coming up.
And again it's weird because people are listening to this
on my birthday. But spoiler alert, Kat and I were
recording this on the Friday before, and my brain went
to I don't know how old I was. Maybe I
(33:12):
was turning ten or so. My birthday must have been
on a Sunday because my mom just ended up inviting
some of our church friends home from church with me,
but there was no real party. And this was probably,
if I think about it, when I was turning ten.
It was my first birthday after my dad left.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
When I was did your mom I invite these people
or did you ask if you could have people?
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I don't know, Okay, all I know is after church,
these girls came over.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
And I think it would make sense that if that
is my first birthday after my dad left, my mom
likely didn't have the bandwidth to think about a party.
Plus she was a little detached from that sort of
stuff anyway, Like we didn't really celebrate things. I think
I've told you before, Like my parents never asked me
for my report card, so there was no like you
got an A. Oh I haven't. No, I feel like
(33:57):
I've said it.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Didn't you have to get your poor like sign sometime?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Who knows maybe if you did have to sign it.
But it was never like yay, you got a's or nothing.
Nobody asked me about anything. Honestly, I wish my parents
were here because I want to look at them and
be like, it's a miracle. Guys. I went to college
and I graduated.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Well that's why I was like, you could have been
like doing drugs and not going to school.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
So did my sister. Well, they were so disconnected because
like my mom, it was almost like she it was crazy,
like because I was always tardy in math class, and
my math teacher called my mom and I think maybe
she was just having a hormonal day where because I
could see this now being in my forties, because she
was probably in her forties fifties when I was in
high school. And if you catch me on the wrong day,
(34:42):
and so to shares teacher to call me and be like,
I'm going to go up to the school. Because that's
what she did. Oh, she came up to the school,
found me during she asked my teacher what time is
class and my teacher said, so, my mom got there
and we all hung out on the second floor between classes.
That's where we would talk. And then my math class
is on the third floor. So that's why I was
always late. Well, my mom came found me on the
(35:03):
second floor, tap me on the shoulder, and she's like,
let's go, we're not going to be late at escorting
you to class. And I was a junior in high school. Oh,
she escorted me to class. So you would think by
that behavior I had a mom that was like I
want your report card. Oh no, my mom was a helpful.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Well that's what I'm saying, that's what that would you
would assume that no I want. Is it that she
like just trusted you to always be doing the right thing? Uh?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
No, I mean we I had rules, okay with my dad,
no rules. No way would my dad ever done that.
But my dad was just detached. He loved me, but
like didn't want to be passive. That's what we call
passive parenting, like because he also had left me. So
it's like, oh, let's let her do more because then
she'll think that's love. And now that I'm an adult,
(35:47):
I'm like, Dad, that's not love. But that's okay. You're
doing the best you can. I're the best you could.
So when I think about the mom that showed up
to escort me to class, I really do think that
I just my teacher caught her on a day where
she had had it and she was going to show
up and walk me to class.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
It wasn't even about you being late. It was that
was like the strength.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Think it was just a reaction because when I think
of other things, there wasn't ever a big drastic thing
like that. But I'll tell you what, I was never
late again, and when it comes to my report card,
just different things, Like they weren't very involved but again,
I think my mom would have been an involved mom,
(36:30):
but then my dad left and she was a stay
at home mom. And I think had she had been
working and had been married and chose to be a
working mom, she could have at least had it figured
out in her head. But instead she was a stay
at home mom her entire marriage to my dad, because
(36:51):
they only got married because my mom ended up pregnant
with my sister, so they had a baby right off
the bat, like my mom's pregnant at the when, Like
they got married in May and my sister was born
in October, and we were like, wait a second, this math,
that's not mathing. So she was like overwhelmed by Well,
here's the difference. I think when you want to be
(37:12):
a working mom, which my mom had a great work ethic,
but she was forced back into the work field because
my dad left, so then she had no time to
prepare herself for how to juggle at all. So it's
not like my dad left and I'm not paying my
dad to be a bad dad. I think he handled
(37:33):
some things poorly, but he left, and it ei there
was no paperwork because my parents didn't legally get divorce.
I was eighteen, so nine years later, so you had
no law saying like when Ben and I got divorced,
the law said, okay, if you've got fifty to fifty custody,
you've got the kids Friday to Friday, and then you
switch Friday to Friday, and these are the holidays and
(37:53):
we are with the kids fifty to fifty. There was
none of that. I lived with my mom one hundred
percent and saw my dad when I saw.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Him like it was chaotic.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Mom too, like it was yeah. And my sister and
I were even talking about it over Christmas break, which
we've not really ever talked about. How sometimes because there
was no legal things of like you owe this much
my child support, well, my dad would pay her. I
don't know how they settled on what he was paying her,
but sometimes I guess they didn't have a system for it.
(38:23):
So my mom would say, hey, if you see your
dad today, will you get will you ask him for
the check? My sister and I've never talked about this,
but she she asked me this last Christmas break, did
you ever have to ask Dad for a check? And
I said yeah, Because by the time I got to
high school, my sister was already off at college, so
I guess my sister probably did it when she was
in high school. And then when my sister went off
(38:44):
to college, my mom would ask me to do it,
so I would have to say, hey, Dad, do you
have mom's check? And it just always felt awkward. And
then my dad's girlfriend, who at eighteen became his wife,
like my parents got divorced, and then my dad finally
married her, but they were together the whole time, like
he left my mom for her. We weren't planning on
talking about any of this.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
But we will get back to the birthday party.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yes, so, but I think these are all little childhood
things that make me uncomfortable around my birthday because it
was like from that moment on and like all the
different little uncomfortable things that happened to children that are
products of a broken home like that, And I think
this is my mom not having the capacity to celebrate
(39:29):
my birthday that year. Makes sense. But all these girls
came over to my house and I don't even know
what our activity was, but maybe we were channeling our
inner Megan Markle, because we decided to make sandwiches and
then all like like serve each other kind of like
play kitchen.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Okay, like a turkey sandwich, yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yep, well whatever. We got out all the stuff and
from the bread, I guess there was a piece of bread.
When I pulled out the bread, I saw that there
was I feel like I could cry when I talk
about this. I saw that there was like a little
mold on the bread. But my mom had always told me, like,
it's okay, if that slice has it, just throw it
(40:08):
out and the rest of the bread is fine. Like
that's what I had been told. Were you taught that.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I wasn't taught that, but my mom grow up, grew
up with her dad. If there was like mold or
something on cheese or bread, he would slice it off.
And this continued to.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Yeah, I mean, and I still would do that to
this day here, but I guess to some people. So
one of the girls that was there, like I did it,
and I kind of just discarded it and I didn't
say anything. And then I guess, I don't know if
they opened the trash ord or whatever. And I wasn't
trying to hide it. I just thought, this is what
you do. And it became this whole thing where she
was like, oh my gosh, there's mold on the bread.
(40:41):
And I was like, oh, but it's fine the rest
of the bread, and then they're like, no, well eating
the moldy bread, and it became this whole thing. And again,
I don't know why this came up during my meditation
this morning, but it did. I think it's because you
were asking, like, what are we gonna do for your breathday?
And a thing about my boyfriend is he's got a
(41:01):
son that has my birthday, and our families. While there's
been some commingling, it's not been full with all the kids,
so we don't all hang out. And so obviously he
needs to be with his son on his birthday and
not with me. So and I've got my kids, so
we're likely not hanging out.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
But you've been like this the last several four years
since probably been.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
And I separated. I know, I'm always just kind of
like you never excited about it. I'm not excited about it.
And I think during my marriage Ben would just take
the reins, but I was always like, okay, whatever, there's
been good times, like I've had great birthdays. It's not
it's any point that you don't I get uncomfortable like
when it's your birthday, you're like, this is what I
want to do this, and same thing with the other cat.
(41:48):
It's oh, it's my birthday month, it's my birthday week,
like I'm ready, and I'm like, I don't want a
birthday week. I don't want a birthday month. I barely
went the day, so I just want to get through
the day without any leutdowns of soil.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Because when you did, like that memory of a birthday
party you had when you were young lives with you.
And what's the like feeling that you have when you
think about.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Well, obviously I haven't told this story. I don't think ever.
I haven't told this story. I don't think ever. Yeah,
So when it popped into my brain this morning, I
(42:35):
thought that was my first birthday after my life completely changed,
and so I think it set the trajectory of my birthdays.
And I will say my dad's girlfriend, she liked to
throw a party. She was really good at it, and
I remembered them doing something really special for my eighteenth
birthday and she would go all out, like she would
(42:57):
order from like what was that website from China or
something oriental?
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Trick?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Yes, yes, okay, I know, so I didn't know where
I was coming from. Yes, all right, so whatever the theme,
she did it all. But then also, if you think
about it, I now have my dad's girlfriend who's making
my birthdays special, not my mom, not my dad her,
(43:27):
which was very kind of her. I think a lot
of times I like to think back on the things
like oh, that just frustrated me about their whole relationship,
and that I didn't ever really think she liked us.
But there's obviously times where she made us a priority.
And but I also think that fell under the category
of things she enjoyed for anybody, not just like her.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
It's for her and for you, not just for you.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Right, So that was very nice of her. So yeah,
I had some different parties there. But even like when
I graduated college, like something's special with my parents, Like
I even remember my boyfriend at the time, like what
we were going to do. Things are just anytime there's
a celebration, it's awkward for me. My wedding, I had
(44:13):
zero thoughts about what I wanted. That's why I was
able to do it in like six weeks because I
didn't have this dream or this vision of this is
what I want, so I'm like, I don't really care,
We'll just do it, and of course, yeah, we can
pull it off in six eight weeks. And looking back,
I'm like, why didn't I have once and desires and
(44:33):
dreams for it, and why didn't I want to be
patient so it could be I could live it out
and be what I wanted. Instead, I just was like, whatever,
let's just do this.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I remember you saying, didn't you buy your wedding dress
like online or something.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
JCrew dot com on sale for one hundred and ninety
nine dollars, which is like, so I never went to
try on here.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I would love to do that and never did it.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Yeah, I know. So if I get married again.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
We're going to try We are going to try on.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Dress and I want to plan like a wedding. Even
though it's my second wedding, it's nothing against my first wedding.
I mean, Ben and I were in the position that
we were in, like he was about to go to Afghanistan,
my sister was pregnant and if we waited, she was
going to be about to give birth. If we did
the date we wanted, and then also he was deploying,
(45:21):
it was just better to go ahead. And get married.
That's why a lot of military teria people do because
if Heaven for Rid something were to happen, like we
would have already gotten married.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
But this is a chance if you do get married again.
It's not really like there's nothing about the first marriage.
It's almost reparenting. I'm going to give myself the opportunity
that I wasn't able to give myself back then, because
that is what I authentically truly wanted, Just like birthday parties,
Like we were talking like I don't want you to
feel pressure to plan something because that's what you're supposed
(45:52):
to do on your birthday, or I don't want you
to feel pressure to have something be this or that
so people enjoy it. I want you to think about
if it was my birthday, and your birthday is a
day that you get to do something that brings you joy,
and if you want the people around you to celebrate
with you, you bring them in. That's what it's about.
Like there's this pressure to do it right.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Right or not have the moldy bread, the embarrassment and
what imailt that day. Like it's like when I started
to retell that story, I think that's why I got emotional.
I started to feel those feelings that I felt that
day and it just was so awkward.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
So anyway, and obviously you don't want to feel that again.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
Let's make sandwiches for my birthday.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
We should, we should, we.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Should make little well, so what we've decided to do though,
and I'm just going to throw this idea out there.
I was telling Kat that one year I had like
a yoga class birthday thing and I really really enjoyed that.
I really did. And then Kat said, oh my gosh,
my friend just started a yoga business where they do that.
That's it called Blue Imbalance and Balance. They're obviously based
(47:01):
here in Nashville, but no matter where you live, like
you could try to figure out a unique way to
bring an experience like that, and you you would like
like I would like that, Like if we went to
the park, which is what we're now trying to do
and booking Cat's friend and she can lead us through
yoga class and they bring the yoga mats and apparently
(47:24):
spaw water and nice touch lavender towels. And I already
checked the weather on my birthday for an outdoor early
evening yoga class. The weather's going to be perfect, and
so we'll just gather a few girls and then we
show up, we take the yoga class, we can socialize
and have some snacks after and obviously, and now I
think we just figured out the snacks. Sandwiches, finger sandwiches.
(47:49):
We can cut them up. We can like and tee
time and we talk like this.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
My name's Meg and Marco, yes.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
And well I'll bring some honey from that bees from.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
You should assigned every friend a different accent.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
From the garden, from the gurden.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Is this my garden?
Speaker 1 (48:08):
The garden? You mean the garden and these are all
your characters Elle garden, los garden. I don't know how
to say a garden in Spanish, but we figured it out.
We came up with a solution, and now I feel
really happy about it. And I guess I just want
to send a warm hug out to anybody else that
(48:28):
feels uncomfortable around. Maybe it's your birthday, and maybe it's
other types of celebrations or something, and maybe you're you've
never really known why you are the way that you are.
And let me just tell you. One day, you're gonna
be doing a three minute meditation and you're gonna slowly
strip away who you are and then boom, a memory
is gonna pop into your head, and then you're gonna wonder, huh,
(48:49):
maybe that's it. Maybe that is what I need to
revisit and feel and let go up.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
This might be like a dumb moment for you, but
I want to say it that if you felt you
said you felt embarrassed in shame in that memory, that
would make sense that you never would want to create
a situation where that could happen again. Even if you
don't keep that memory like in the front of your brain,
your body's like, I never want to feel that, So
we're going to avoid anything that would give us the
(49:17):
opportunity to do that again. So you never want to
be embarrassed when a group of people come over to
your house. That's why you get these ick feelings.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Well, and also I think that was mixed with this
weird feeling of like where was my mom.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
And why wasn't anybody part of that celebration?
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Where was like did we even have a cake? I
don't know. I think it was just like, how about
Sunday after church, since it's your birthday, you invite some friends.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Over and then I'll hopefully we'll be in the fridge, well.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Sandwich stuff out from the fridge and y'all can play
top chef. That didn't exist then. So I was trying
to take a shop.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Like you get random things and you put.
Speaker 3 (49:48):
Them to shot, which yeah, but this is where you
get to say, like I was worth and worthy of
having an actual birthday party, especially that year, Like that year,
this is gonna make especially that year, you should have
had a celebration, so you knew that you were important
in a priority and not forgotten, and this is a
(50:09):
chance for you to reclaim that.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
And I'm working, and I also have grace for my
mom like juggling, which this is what I was trying
to point out earlier. And I'll put a bow on
it since again, ADHD, this podcast has been all over
the place. But my mom went back to work instantly,
and so I think she was just juggling a lot,
so she was probably tired, and who knows, maybe I
(50:33):
had to prepare for Monday or the week or she
was like, oh, it's Amy's first birthday without dad here.
And I think that can go either way, like a
parent can maybe go over the top and be like
I need to make this perfect because I don't want it,
or if they're in their own little depression, it may
not be anything, which for me, that's where it fell,
(50:54):
and I totally get it, especially walking through things as
an adult. Now that I've walked through see me handling
something that way, I think the difference might be now
if I were to do that, I would hopefully eventually
have the awareness that that's happening, and I would go
amend it.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
And you're speaking of the both, and I have grace
and understanding of why this was the situation as an adult,
and I still was worthy of and deserved something.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
We're working through this, and I know there's probably a
little more work for me to do on it, but
I'm excited that maybe I was given this memory as like, oh,
now you get to deal with it, deal with that
part of you, so that future me can have the
parties that you let go. Let's have the parties that
I want and the.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
Wedding and the this and then that. Yeah, wait for
all your celebrations now.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Gosh, solving all the problems today.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Well, happy birthday, thank you, You're all.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Right. So next Tuesday, March twenty fifth, oh, which speaking
of people's birthdays. I got a DM from a listener
that was like, March twenty fifth, have it on my calendar.
I think she said something like it's perfect because my
birthday's the twenty fourth or something, so that it'll be
like a birthday present. And so I went ahead and
DMed her. I was like, hey, early birthday present. Here's
what we're doing. And I sent her the thing and
(52:15):
all the things. And then she was like, oh my gosh,
so the thing and all the things. That's what we'll
be sharing next Tuesday, March twenty fifth. Kat and I
are so excited.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
All right, have the birthday you need to have, Okay, I.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
Will, and then hot the day you need to have?
Say it Irish, Hey have the day you need him?
Oh I could do Russian, Hey have the day you
need the hand that's like the guy from Despicable Me.
Oh yeah, my sister and I to the Russian. We
would be like hello, cis third and one time. Oh
(52:52):
close on this, since we're talking about my parents and
cassette tapes. I got a speeding ticket and I was
so scared to tell my dad. Don't know why, because
again he was passive, But I think I just didn't
like letting him down. And I recorded a whole message
on a cassette tape, and I was in Alabama, look
at my aunt's house, and I mailed it to him,
(53:12):
and so he got it in the mail a cassette tape.
Then he put it in and he played it and
I said, hello, father, this is your daughter. And I
think I inherited your lead foot.
Speaker 2 (53:27):
Wait, that's a really good accent.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
Yeah, because this is how we used to talk all
the time, me and my sister.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
So then you didn't get in trouble because it was funny.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
Because it was funny. And also I blamed it on
him because I inherited his lead foot, which led foot
make accelerator go faster.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
So it's his fault.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
It's his fault.
Speaker 2 (53:45):
This is my character that you need to bring out
an improv.
Speaker 1 (53:48):
Yeah, what is her name? Don't know, she doesn't have
a name. Hello father, I am Amy, I don't know.
I don't think I am hello father. I got it
from my sister and her college roommates. They would go
out to eat and they would order their food. She
had silly roommates and they would go out to eat
and they would order their food like that and they
(54:09):
would just die laughing. And so my sister would do
with her roommates and I was like, oh, this is sun.
So I was like, hello, Suster, be a part of it.
So now we do that every once in a while,
and my niece will do it now too, and she'll
be like hello, hello father, Hello mother. Oh s like
a thing, no fence to any Russians.
Speaker 2 (54:27):
I honestly want to hear what an English American accent
what they people think it is, because people like Milly
Bobby Brown and that have accents, they just they sound
really good as Americans. Like I didn't know she had
did you know that?
Speaker 1 (54:41):
I thought she was an American.
Speaker 2 (54:42):
No, she is an English accent. I don't know exactly
where she's from.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
But good day mate, Good day mate, good day mate. Okay,
all right, good day to have signing off from the car.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
Park, signing off from the garden.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Car park that's what they call park lot. Oh and
ours it would be Australian, so I know some of
the sayings. He always says, good on you, Ames, good
on you, and I'm like, thank you for that encouragement.
It's like I wish we said that here in America.
Good on you, good on you, good on you. Don't
start doing that, no, do they, because I know I'm
(55:20):
just kidding.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
Heard that.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
Have you heard that? Like often though, no just Americans
they would say good on you.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
But I've heard somebody be like, good on you.
Speaker 1 (55:30):
Good on you.
Speaker 2 (55:31):
I feel like they.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
Said they go to my church and they're repeating our
pastor for your church, good on you. There's a lot
of Australian Christians here in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (55:42):
How many lots, well, two of.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Them pastor Church Raman, and then their cousins are the
for King and country guys.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
Oh I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
Good on you, good okay, bye bye
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and Kat's got our quote today. I guess
you were listening to a podcast as you were driving
to my house and you heard the person say this,
and you're like, oh, does this sark quote for today?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
So I had to stop and voice my mother to
you because I couldn't write it down. But it comes
from the diary of a CEO podcast and it was
about public speaking. But this can be applied to so
many things. The guest on the show's name was Ben Jong,
and he said, I say all the time, don't be
so attached to who you are in the present. You
don't give the future version of you a chance. And
(00:38):
I can say what that brings up for me, But
when you think about that, what comes up for you?
Because I feel like a lot of times we're taught
to love and accept and cherish every part of you
just the way you are.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, and I'm really trying to. But I'm also, you know, lately,
have been very focused on eighty year old me. Yeah, well,
so I'm thinking about me later, like you know, with
my face fitness and my stretching and trying to keep
my bones and muscles strong so that when I fall
when I'm elderly, and I can get.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Back up, which is great.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Which I was singing jumba wamba before we hit record,
and you were like, what, you don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Why you were singing it? You don't know. I get
knocked down, but I get up again.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You do know it?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Oh well, you were acting like you've never heard that song.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I said, why are you singing this?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Oh well, you said why are you singing it? And
I heard who are you singing?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
And what is that song? That was a real I
was probably an elementary school.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I was in high school.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Okay, my older brother had that CD. That's why I
remember that song so well. But I do want to
say this quote when he was talking about how people
change their voices and how you have the power to
change your voice if you don't like your voice, but
people don't do it because they think that then they'll
sound fake. And he was like, well, you'll only be
(02:00):
feel fake because you aren't used to it. But once
that becomes part of how you talk, that's in yourself.
You're subconscious, that is who you are. And so he
was talking about it in that context of changing your voice.
But as I was thinking about it to me, it
brought up like I can't start that thing because I
can't all of a sudden want to be an actress
(02:22):
because I'm not an actress. Or I can't start playing
a sport because like I'm not sporty, or I can't
do art because I'm not an artist. That would be inauthentic.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Present you isn't right.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Future you could be is going to be. Yeah, And
so we don't do all of these things because they
feel inauthentic, because it feels like we can't or not,
we're not allowed to evolve. We have to like remain
these people, which is similar to like your recent I guess,
is this an epiphany or really just something you're focusing on.
Is allowing yourself to change your mind?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, the same kind of along the same line. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I mean, we have our announcement next Tuesday, the twenty fifth.
I'm allowed to change my mind.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Because you are, and so am I, and so is
anybody who's listening.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, it's also not so much in this aspect I
feel like that a mind was changed or minds were changed.
It's just that evolution is occurring, evolving and we're evolving
and if you're not evolving, you're dead.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
So when you could say I have to do this
this way because I've always done it this way.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Well, then authentic start talking lot this and then eventually
you will.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
And I was telling you that's like Ariana Grande. If
you listen to her voice, please just for the rest
of the episode talking about British accent.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But it'll fluctuate, like it'll go. I don't know how
to be consistent.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Can you do an Irish accent? Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Because I am Irish?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Oh No, I was just acting because I wish I could.
And it's so hard. I've watched videos on how to
do it.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
So our other friend Kat cry ocat she's, I guess
been messaging with some Irish guy.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Ooh is he like Irish? Has an accent from Ireland? Yeah,
he has some Irish in him.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
No, he's that could be me me too, No, you
have olive skin. I'm the Irish one. Yeah, you're like Italian.
I want Morgan on The Bobby Bone Show says Italian
like when she says yeah, Like we would say I'm
gonna have Italian food, she'd be like, oh, I'm gonna
have Italian. Where's she from Kansas?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
From like West Virginia or something, because I feel like
they say it like that. I can say that because
my mom's family's from West Virginia.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Well, you have very much Italian looking skin, and I
have very much Irish looking skin. And yes, the guy
that Kat is talking to and I say that loosely
has an Irish accent, like he's from Ireland. And so
I'm I don't know, I wish, I wish maybe we
had audio of him, because the only thing I can
think of is like Lucky Charms.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Charms. I watch Arms a video and the words that
they were trying to get it's would you like to
go to the perk or the gurden? Like they say
the park, it's perk perk. Would you like to go
to the perk or the garden?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, that's that's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I don't think so. I watched a lot of videos
during COVID on this and Australian is really hard to
all I got ISNR. That's how they say, like no,
they say nur.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
At my improv class the other night, we had to
all deliver sixty second rants about something. You had to
rant or rave so you to rave about something for
sixty seconds or rant about it.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I did a rave about therapy. I mean it was
just off the cuff. I was like, I don't know
what's due. People did like everything, like when I raved
about the best meal of the day breakfast. But when
you're on stage with them, so they're ranting or raving
about something, but you're behind them and you're their hype person,
and so whatever they're raving about or ranting about, you
(05:51):
join in with them. We were like, yeah, breakfast, yeah,
best meal of the day, bacon, yeah. And if the
person's like, oh yeah, pancakes, we'd be behind them. We'd
be like pancakes, pancakes. Like you just are supporting them fully.
And it's to paint this picture of when you're on
stage doing Improven, you are going back and forth with
(06:11):
a partner. You want to know that they have your back,
and you are in the moment you're kind of going
on and on. And I got up there and I
was like, I just want to talk about therapy and
how amazing it is, and they're like, yeah, therapy, And
I was.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Like, ketamine. Have you heard that? Ketamine? I was like,
that's what.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I'm talking about and like we go on and on drugs.
Yeah yeah. They were like, yeah, yeah, we're all broken.
We need help. I was lost and now I'm found.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
You need therapy, and you need therapy.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yes. So I was on stage ranting about that, and
the sixty seconds is forever. Yeah, you're like waiting for
the teacher to be like, okay, clock us up. And
it was just really funny to see everybody kind of
do their thing and also support each other and just
made me think if we had to like go up
there and do it in an accent and for like
sixty seconds to be like I would just say over
(07:06):
and over the perk and the garden, the park.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Another one was would you like a taco? But I
can't that. It was like a Turco. I can't do
it Turco. Something about taco was another one of the
sentences that she tried to teach. But I feel like
learning these accents would be very helpful for you. I
prov because for your own because if you're like doing
a fun character, you can pull these characters out, you know, yeah,
(07:32):
like change yourn accent change, Yeah, you see it changes
like your personality.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
And I feel like I'm like midwestern.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Yeah, and you could be a really sweetened midwestern sudden
would you like to go see? I try to do midwestern.
I just like Reddish would like to kiss Soto Pop.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Have you watched Meghan Markle's thing on Netflix?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
But I've seen a lot of contents about it? Really people?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
What are people saying?
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Well, she has a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I watched one and I loved it. I didn't. I
wouldn't say that I loved it. No, I haven't watched anymore,
so I wouldn't put it in that category. But I
was making a smoothie earlier today and I was alone
in my kitchen, and this is probably the improv class
coming out in me. But I'm alone with my dog
and my cat, and I'm making my smoothie, and I
kind of act like I'm Megan and I'm having a
(08:22):
friend over and I'm doing all the things that she's doing,
because that's what she's in this like fake house. It's
not her house. It must be her studio house where
she films and maybe does her little projects. But she
has like everything. And I don't even know what what
made me think of her because she's not she doesn't
have a British accent, but I guess because her husband
does and they were royalty, so are they not royalty anymore?
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Well, she didn't she correct Linda Kayling when she was
like I'm Sussex, Like she's still the Duchess of Sussex.
I don't really get the Royal family because it's more
of like a well.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
We need to get it if we're going to be it,
because if we're gonna talk like it and beat them, Yeah,
we need to understand what our art.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
She doesn't work for. They don't work for the Royal
Family anymore, so they still.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Have they're not We don't pay we we don't pay them,
but England doesn't pay for their lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
We now do pay for Megan Markle's lifestyle because we
probably are paying for some of the things that she's
a show on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
We pay for that well because we have a Netflix members. Yeah,
but we're not. It's not like we're giving them tax
money because we're definitely not. Well, what are people saying
about it?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Well, I think it's people. I don't really have an
opinion of Megan Markle because I don't know. I don't
really haven't deep dived into any of her stuff. I
haven't watched her show listen to our podcast, but I
think the consensus is she's a little pretentious and.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Well, let me tell you on the episode I watched, well,
actually I think Mindy was on. It was the guest
and she was wearing Zara pants.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Well, it's like also like she tries to be relatable.
But then Mindy said something like people would be so
surprised to hear that Megan Markle does X like some.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Normal She was making a fertata yes.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Or something like that, and she looked at Indy and
she was like, it's so funny that you keep calling
me Meghan Markle. You know I'm a Sussex.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
And it was very like, okay, Indy, I didn't have
to go back or I'll see when that happened, because
I don't think I caught onto that, but now I
want to to see so I can be in on
what everybody is saying about it, because I didn't really
pick up on any but vibes that rubbed me the
wrong way. I did find it awesome that she had
(10:34):
high low on. I think her her top and her
sweater were very expensive, but she did have on sorrow
pants and I was like, Wow, you're so relatable. Ours
are just like us, oral t.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
He's just like us. I think that she has a
lot of haters that watch things to find stuff like that,
so if you're not looking for it, you might not
notice those kinds of things. The impression I got is
she's trying to make herself very relatable, but she's not.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It's not relatable, okay, but I don't think so if
her goal with the show was to be like relatable.
Other than the Tzara pants, nothing about what she was
doing was really well. I mean, having her friend over
that she's not really really friends friends with but no,
and then it was like, got stuff in her own
garden and honey from her bees that she has like
sheet which is really cool, but she also has a
(11:23):
bee keeper that taught her how to do all of it,
and then she's making her own candles from her bees wax.
I guess I've actually watched because Mindy wasn't in that episode,
So now that I think about it, I've watched one
with some guy maybe her hair and makeup person, and
then maybe the first half of Mindy when they have
the fritata, but I don't know what they do after
(11:43):
they eat their pear yogurt parfe.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
What's the point of the show from your perspective?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Uh, well, the recipes look good.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
The one thing I saw she made was like a
rainbow fruit board. Well was that on? There?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Was that with the one the Mindy?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Well I never saw the rainbow for boy because I
didn't make it to that point, but I know that
Mindy was there. So they had the breakfast and then
later they were going to do fun things for kids parties,
and so maybe the rainbow fruit board is an idea
if you're hosting a kid's party, because kids will be like, oh,
it's a rainbow.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
What makes this show interesting?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Again, I haven't kept watching the Gays, so I don't
know that it's that interesting. But I did act as
if I was Megan Markle in my kitchen and I
was housting people, and that I had a film crew
here and nobody was here except for again, I got
my dog. But I'm like, oh, and then I just
picked these blueberries from my garden. Were no because she
doesn't have an English.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Accent, but you could still pretend.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
You're But the English accent is what made me think
of Megan Markle, which is why I did this, because
Megan's husband is English and also speaking of Europe, my
niece today is in Portugal and my boyfriend's in Portugal,
and they just met. My niece is studying abroad in Spain,
and she had some friends come visit her because her
(13:00):
birthdays tomorrow, and so they took a flight. Once you're
over there, it's easy to fly around, and they took
a flight to Portugal for the weekend and they got
an airbnb, like in the mountains, and then there's this
one park and bridge area in Porto, Portugal or something
I don't even know, and you watch the sunset, it's
really pretty. And we're on this group text, my sister,
(13:23):
my niece, and my boyfriend, and we have been ever
since we started dating officially because I wanted my sister
to get to know him because she hasn't met him
in person yet. And here they are halfway around the world,
and I just got a text on my phone and
it's them, like my boyfriend, his son to both of
(13:43):
his sons, and my niece in a picture together.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Which is so crazy that they met in Portugal versus
they might.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Hear like in Nashville or Colorado. Or something I know,
and that they were going to this same park already.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
It's not like oh I would know that. So text the.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Group and said, we're going to be at this place
watching the sunset at this time, and Adeline said, oh,
we're going there.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I thought she went there specifically to meet him, and
I was like, that was really good.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
They were already going to watch the sunset, so it
was that's well, that's meant to be.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Meant to be.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah, let me see what she said exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
My sister replied, oh, hey, wave emoji love this heart
heart heart. So I don't know that's screaming jealousy. Maybe
she's just a bigger person. And then I typed, omg
dying because it's just and there the pictures with the
sun setting. I can't stop smiling at it. It's just
the coolest thing. So there's that. You're a I wonder
(14:42):
what's the accent over there.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
In portuge Spanish in Portugal?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Right, So Portuguese, oh, which I guess is probably a
similar similar to Spanish.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
So whatever a Spanish accent would be similar to that.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I don't really know. I just know like South Texas.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I can't do those accents.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, you can do no, my dad, no, I can
do what what some Spanish like yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
But how do you take that accent and put it
in English? Like how would you say? Little? Yes? Okay?
I was like just a little, just a little.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
What's good? What's good?
Speaker 2 (15:24):
What's what's good?
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Oh? I my dad would do. But my dad was
fluent in Spanish, so that was the problem. So sometimes
it's English. He would do like a Spanglish iichi wawa?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
My uncle had chihuahuas. He was also fluent in Spanish.
I chihuahua, So we had these huahas. And I have
this video of my dad and my uncle where they're
each holding a perro, a chihuahua, and they're just riffing
off of each other in Spanish. I don't even know
really what they're saying. But then at the end of
the video, like either my uncle or my dad goes,
(15:59):
I gi wawa and then they just laugh and then
the videos in it ends, and it's one of my
most cherished videos of my dad, which I'm so thankful
we live in an age where we have the technology
to relive stuff like that. I mean a couple of
generations ago, they didn't have memories on their phone that
they could just go to right away. So as annoyed
(16:21):
as I am with technology, at times, it's a blessing
and a curse because it's moving at such a rapid pace,
like I can't yeah, and then the next five years
like who knows. It's just too much. So sometimes I
just want to like throw my phone in the river. Especially,
you know, because we were at on site and had
to hand in our phones, it was so freeing. I
(16:43):
had no fear in doing that. I'm like, yes, please
take my phone.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
And you can survive without it. I think the lie
that we tell ourselves is that we can't survive without it,
and that isn't true. There just might be some kind
of consequence, but it doesn't mean we would die. We
might miss out on something, but it might be worth it.
We should bring pagers back if there's an emergency, I'll
have my pager.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And then what you page me? And then I phone
and then I'll go get my phone. Okay, Like that's
I think that's because I mean when I had a pager,
I had to go use a payphone.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Oh no, you would then go to your phone, But
I guess my thought is a lot of times having
a phone is about like safety and stuff too. I
was thinking I used to go run in college because
I didn't have an iPhone in college, so I take
my iPod. I would have run on this path in
like kind of a sketchy area. It wasn't like really sketchy,
but something could have happened and I would go run
(17:35):
miles and miles without a phone. I would never go
on a run in my neighborhood without my phone. Now
because of my thought is what if I get hurt,
What if something happens, What if I don't know, I'm
gonna need to contact somebody. So but if I had
a pager, if something happened, I could page somebody mcnighe
one and then maybe they could like track my location
in the pager.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
We could I'm confused, I had a pager, But you
can page people from a pager.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh well I've never had a pager.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Okay, Well see I did, so I would get pages,
but I would have to use a phone to send
a page.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Well, this ruin is my theory. I think we could
create this though. We could update the pager where.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
You could say so I'm remembering it wrong.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Who knows.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Maybe you could page from a pager, but I don't
think so. I think I could only receive pages, and
once I got the page, I'd have to go to
a phone to make the phone call. And if you
wanted to send a page, you sent it from a phone.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I think this probably is already invented, but there has
to be something that like we have, whether it's a
watch or a oh yeah watch, No, but then I'm watching.
It's just the same thing that the only function it
has is to alert if there's an emergency. Yeah, but
I can be reached if there's an emergency.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Well, I think you could. If you wanted to take
your phone with you for safety, you could put it
on do not disturb and only your emergency contact people
can get through. And then you can lock all your apps.
Just lock them up.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Yeah, but then I can unlock them. We've all taken
our phones on walks thinking we're gonna just listen to music,
and then I find myself opening up Instagram.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
You were talking about running with your iPod. I used
to run with my entire CD player.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
No you did it, Yes I did?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
And did you just hold it?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yeah? Or was there like a huge pocket in your pants.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No, I would hold it like I would run and
hold it and try to keep it flat so it
wouldn't skip.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
And you had the headphone set whenever here. Yeah, like
the phone.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I mean I remember carrying my like three CD cases
with me on every road trip we would go on.
I would bring every CD I owned. That's what I
packed my Walkman Is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Or disc? Yeah, Walkskman disc because Walkman. I had the
cassette player, cassette tape Walkman, and then I guess Walkman
also made the disc players too.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah. By the time I was running, we had iPods,
so thank god.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, No, I was running with my CD player. Was
actually kind of hilarious. That was a long, long, long,
long time ago. And here we are the day that
people are listening to this. I'll be turning forty four,
which four plus four is eight, So I don't know
what that means.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Where are we going with this.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Is an infinity number? Yeah, it's my infinity year. So
that means you're gonna live forever forever? Yeah, the way
technology is going. Yes, I was listening to some podcasts
the other day that said that we might be a
generation closer to living a very long time, not forever,
but way longer than we do.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Now, what's a long time?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Go over one hundred or at least with you know,
like into our eighties and nineties.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Without living a better quality life.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Depends and stuff. Oh I don't know, yes, like a
better quality of life, like living older. And I can't
even tell you what I was listening to exactly, but
the guests did say this, and there they do a
lot of the biohacking and do you know what that is?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Well, so I have to can I share this? Yeah?
So I was watching the Kardashians today, which is a
new thing for me, and honestly it's brought me some joy.
They went to meet with I don't know his name,
but he founded Venmo, sold it and now he's one
of like the richest people and he is this big
quote unquote biohacker, and they did a whole tour of
(21:15):
like his lab or his house or something. But he
was talking about how he believes that we can live forever,
and they were like, well, like eventually we're gonna die,
and he was like no, he was like dead serious
that he thinks that he can live forever, and I
don't know that I want to live forever? Also, what
does that due to humanity? But the funny thing is
(21:35):
is then in like the interviews they did of like
Kim and I think it was Chloe and her mom,
they asked each of them because they went to this
dinner event thing and they're like, oh yeah, I love biohacking.
This is so interesting. And then in their like private interviews,
what are they the confessional things? The producer asked each
of them, so do you know what biohacking is? How
(21:56):
would you describe it? And none of them could.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I guess in a nutshell, I would say doing things
that better your overall health and well being, like turning
back the clock on your biological age, so you have
chronological age, so like I'm turning forty four, but because
of all the biohacking.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I do, you're twenty five.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
I'm basically twenty five. I don't do any biohacking, which
I just googled him. His name's Brian Johnson. Did you
say that?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
No? I didn't know. Okay.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
He's a tech entrepreneur who co founded Braintree, which acquired
Venmo and sold it to PayPal for eight hundred million,
and he's known for his pursuit of longevity and his
project Blueprint to Reverse the aging process.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So he's forty seven. He said that he's biologically.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
So guess did I just realized?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
What was he? The guy?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
No, this isn't who I was listening to. I was
listening to people that were talking. They weren't saying they
have the answer. They were saying we're gonna get there.
We're about a generation away from that, if not sooner
because of how it's moving so rapidly. Scary, so with
the advancements and the technology and the research, like we're
getting closer. Scary but also amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I guess I'm thinking he was like, I'm gonna live forever.
I'm like, we can't all live forever because then we're
gonna have to be too many people, and then we
can't have babies, and then we're just gonna be like
one hundred and fifty year old twelve year olds.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
I just mentally true, Tu're true? Okay, so right, you're
just gonna keep living in our treasurement farm. Yes, So
as I'm looking him up cry okat this weekend because
she invited me to this, but I was like, I
can't go. She's going to Miami to his Don't Die summit.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
This is the.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Guy, and she's going with another friend of ours and
it's the number one longevity event and it's in Miami
on March twenty seconds. So that's where she's gonna be,
which is so crazy because I'd never even heard of
this guy. When she told me about this, that's when
I've heard about him. And then I didn't realize he
was saying related to Venmo at all. And when you
said that, I was like, well, I'm gonna google then Mo,
(24:07):
guy who thinks he's gonna live forever. And this is
the guy that came up while you were talking. It says,
what will you gain from the Don't Die Summit? You're
gonna never die like minded people, discover the newest therapies
and technologies, experience longevity on your plate. Ooh, he's gonna
be serving people the Blueprint diet, right.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
So they ate a meal. This is where I'm sure
that there are so many tips and things and things
that we can do in ways that he can teach
us to live a better healthier life. And the extreme
to which he did this to me, derails the quality
of life. It's like, I don't want to live that
long off the quality of my life has to deteriorate.
And they had a meal and he told them what
(24:48):
they're eating, and he said something to the same sense
of everything that you're about to eat has a purpose,
and like none of it's for enjoyment, because in his mind,
every calorie has to fight for its life in your body.
So they were eating just like and thin. It was
like broccoli, some kind of lentile, maybe a mushroom, but
there's no like seasoning or way to make it look fine.
(25:11):
It just was like that's what they are eating. And
then they took a shot of olive oil at the end,
which honestly, I'm not against shots of olive oil. There
are benefits. But Chloe was like, I thought this was
gonna be like some psychedelic mushroom shot or something fun
or cool. And then she was like, I'm just taking
a shot of olive oil. I don't really want to
do that. She was funny because she wasn't as like
into it. And then the Chris was funny too. Kim
(25:34):
was like all up in it. But my point in
sharing this is sure, we can do some of that
and it can be very helpful. But he said he
never ever cause Chloe was like, what's your cheat meal?
He was like, I will never go off of this plan,
the therapies I do. I will never chain do anything
(25:55):
that doesn't fit into this regimen that I've created. So
that means all of his workouts, all of his like
light therapies, or he also look, there's a plastic surgeon
there as right.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Look he looks like a vampire.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Well, that's what they're saying. They were like, his skin
is like translucent. His eyeballs were so white, which they
were saying, what is that part of your eyeball called?
Why can't I think of it?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It is called something obviously let me you keep talking.
All look up parts of the eye.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Okay. It was like the brightest white and they're saying, like,
that's a way that you can see health in somebody.
But also he does have plastic surgery, which to me
goes against his he does like what does he Well,
there was a plastic surgeon there.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
The skull sclera is.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
That what it's called.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
So the iris is the color, yeah, the people dot
in the middle is the pupil and looks like sclera
is the white part.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Oh, that's not a I didn't know that, or.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
The lens, the anterior chamber, the cornea.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Okay, we're getting too far into the eyeball, which also
I learned on that episode because Andrey huber Moon was
on it and he was saying, yes, the eyeball is
is the only part of the brain we can see
from the outside, which is interesting, which shows like the
health of your brain. I guess, he said.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
The conjunctiva. There's lots of parts. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
It's like pink eye conjunctivitis.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Well, and the white part turns pink, so maybe it
is the conjunctiva. But he said people conjunctiva.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
People accuse him of being AI generated because he looks
so like like he looks like a robot in real life.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Yeah, so does that do that? No, No, I'm not
going to the don't die summit, but I am into
anything that may help me have a higher quality of life.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah, so I think that's what you take what you
want from that, But you don't have to go all
the way to the extreme because and then at some
point I would assume your quality of life would be exaffering.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I guess for him it's working, so it's not. But
who knows. We don't really know how happy he is.
Who knows.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
We just know his eyeballs are really white.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
The happiest human on the earth, and he's got it
totally figured out. But he also has tons of money.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Tons of money and time. I can spend all the time.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
And time, and that's not realistic. And so for those
of us that don't, we find joy in certain meals
that maybe aren't blueprint and activities like sleeping in one
day just because we don't feel like doing our other activity,
or laying on the couch watching something.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
And he said his last meal of the day is
at eleven o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Why, like, when do you start eating?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Then? I don't hear something about how his all his
biohacking things he does with saying all these things that
I'm like, so, what do you do the rest of
the day and what if you're hungry?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Well, he doesn't deviate. So one of the things that
our family therapists at on site told Ben and I
to watch with the kids is that documentary Blue Zones,
which I've never watched it, have you. I've heard of
it and seen different clips. I think it's on Netflix.
Let me search it up real quick, Live to one
hundred Secrets of the Blue Zones. And her intent behind
(29:00):
us watching it wasn't so we'll live longer. But if
y'all listened to previous episodes, I guess the last time
you werero on we talked about it, and I think
last Thursday's episode I talked a little bit about on site,
but Stashira gave our therapist the theme and that all
happened organically. She went a little bit of a different
direction based on a question that Stashira had in her head,
(29:22):
which was how do I live my life to its fullest?
Which I thought was so awesome that that's the question
that came to her mind. Like that's her being seventeen
years old, looking around being like something's not right, Like
I'm how do I do this better? And I think
we all ask ourselves that whether we're a teenager, four
(29:44):
plus four equals eight, but people ask you how old
you are eight, I'm infinity. So I think her intent
in assigning us that which we haven't watched it yet,
I get the kids back this weekend. Maybe Been has
watched it with them, But I think it's to show
the quality of life of people that don't have all
(30:07):
the hustle and bustle that we have here, and showing
different activities and maybe even ways of eating that do
boost your dopamine and do help you feel better.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Have you watched that documentary Happy? It's kind of old,
probably like.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Twenty years old at least, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
It's similar where they go into other countries that are
economically you would look at them and be like, oh, wow,
we have so much more, but their happiness levels are
all way higher than those in America. I think they
looked at Japan and stuff like that, and they looked
at what actually creates and causes and brings us happiness
(30:45):
versus what we tell ourselves in more developed countries like
the United States. It was very interesting. We showed it
when I worked at an outpatient treatment center, so it
was people who were trying to find recovery from drugs, alcohol,
things like that, and it was showing them and even
me as the therapist, every time I watched it like, oh,
(31:06):
we have to remind ourselves that these things that we're
trying to manufacture happiness. That's not actually what brings it,
and look at these people who have none of that,
and they are enjoying their life ten times more than
we are. It was a lot about community, sharing, being
with people, the earth, nature, grounding, grounding, force, bathing.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
I don't know if that was on there, but because
of their conditions and where they are, they do a
lot of that stuff naturally. Where we have to put
it in our calendar.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yeah, well part of that's because we say other things
are more important.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, but like community, getting together, doing something for my birthday,
that's probably important because I tend to lean towards it's fine.
I don't really want to do anything for my birthday yea.
And when I was married, Ben would plan it if
he was not deployed and he was in town, and
he was always really good about that, gathering my friends together.
(32:01):
And then now that I'm single, I don't know, it
just feels weird. And I was doing a meditation that's
one of the things that I do for dopamine, and
it was this morning. I was doing just a three
minute meditation, so nothing overwhelming at all, but in that
three minutes I just pulled one up on YouTube, and
I believe it was Deepak Chopra walking you through a
(32:25):
three minute thing of He had you start out by
saying like, I am Amy Brown, and he's like, just
be say your naming. He goes, okay, now lose the
last name and I am Amy. And then you say
that for a little bit and then he's like, now
lose the amy and just I am and then he's like,
now take away that I am to just like a hum,
(32:46):
like a hm. So you strip away.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
It's like identity.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
You're m because you are just here in this moment.
And I don't know if it's because my birthday's coming up.
And again it's weird because people are listening to this
on my birthday. But spoiler alert, Kat and I were
recording this on the Friday before, and my brain went
to I don't know how old I was. Maybe I
(33:12):
was turning ten or so. My birthday must have been
on a Sunday because my mom just ended up inviting
some of our church friends home from church with me,
but there was no real party. And this was probably,
if I think about it, when I was turning ten.
It was my first birthday after my dad left.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
When I was did your mom I invite these people
or did you ask if you could have people?
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I don't know, Okay, all I know is after church,
these girls came over.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
And I think it would make sense that if that
is my first birthday after my dad left, my mom
likely didn't have the bandwidth to think about a party.
Plus she was a little detached from that sort of
stuff anyway, Like we didn't really celebrate things. I think
I've told you before, Like my parents never asked me
for my report card, so there was no like you
got an A. Oh I haven't. No, I feel like
(33:57):
I've said it.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Didn't you have to get your poor like sign sometime?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Who knows maybe if you did have to sign it.
But it was never like yay, you got a's or nothing.
Nobody asked me about anything. Honestly, I wish my parents
were here because I want to look at them and
be like, it's a miracle. Guys. I went to college
and I graduated.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Well that's why I was like, you could have been
like doing drugs and not going to school.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
So did my sister. Well, they were so disconnected because
like my mom, it was almost like she it was crazy,
like because I was always tardy in math class, and
my math teacher called my mom and I think maybe
she was just having a hormonal day where because I
could see this now being in my forties, because she
was probably in her forties fifties when I was in
high school. And if you catch me on the wrong day,
(34:42):
and so to shares teacher to call me and be like,
I'm going to go up to the school. Because that's
what she did. Oh, she came up to the school,
found me during she asked my teacher what time is
class and my teacher said, so, my mom got there
and we all hung out on the second floor between classes.
That's where we would talk. And then my math class
is on the third floor. So that's why I was
always late. Well, my mom came found me on the
(35:03):
second floor, tap me on the shoulder, and she's like,
let's go, we're not going to be late at escorting
you to class. And I was a junior in high school. Oh,
she escorted me to class. So you would think by
that behavior I had a mom that was like I
want your report card. Oh no, my mom was a helpful.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Well that's what I'm saying, that's what that would you
would assume that no I want. Is it that she
like just trusted you to always be doing the right thing? Uh?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
No, I mean we I had rules, okay with my dad,
no rules. No way would my dad ever done that.
But my dad was just detached. He loved me, but
like didn't want to be passive. That's what we call
passive parenting, like because he also had left me. So
it's like, oh, let's let her do more because then
she'll think that's love. And now that I'm an adult,
(35:47):
I'm like, Dad, that's not love. But that's okay. You're
doing the best you can. I're the best you could.
So when I think about the mom that showed up
to escort me to class, I really do think that
I just my teacher caught her on a day where
she had had it and she was going to show
up and walk me to class.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
It wasn't even about you being late. It was that
was like the strength.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Think it was just a reaction because when I think
of other things, there wasn't ever a big drastic thing
like that. But I'll tell you what, I was never
late again, and when it comes to my report card,
just different things, Like they weren't very involved but again,
I think my mom would have been an involved mom,
(36:30):
but then my dad left and she was a stay
at home mom. And I think had she had been
working and had been married and chose to be a
working mom, she could have at least had it figured
out in her head. But instead she was a stay
at home mom her entire marriage to my dad, because
(36:51):
they only got married because my mom ended up pregnant
with my sister, so they had a baby right off
the bat, like my mom's pregnant at the when, Like
they got married in May and my sister was born
in October, and we were like, wait a second, this math,
that's not mathing. So she was like overwhelmed by Well,
here's the difference. I think when you want to be
(37:12):
a working mom, which my mom had a great work ethic,
but she was forced back into the work field because
my dad left, so then she had no time to
prepare herself for how to juggle at all. So it's
not like my dad left and I'm not paying my
dad to be a bad dad. I think he handled
(37:33):
some things poorly, but he left, and it ei there
was no paperwork because my parents didn't legally get divorce.
I was eighteen, so nine years later, so you had
no law saying like when Ben and I got divorced,
the law said, okay, if you've got fifty to fifty custody,
you've got the kids Friday to Friday, and then you
switch Friday to Friday, and these are the holidays and
(37:53):
we are with the kids fifty to fifty. There was
none of that. I lived with my mom one hundred
percent and saw my dad when I saw.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Him like it was chaotic.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Mom too, like it was yeah. And my sister and
I were even talking about it over Christmas break, which
we've not really ever talked about. How sometimes because there
was no legal things of like you owe this much
my child support, well, my dad would pay her. I
don't know how they settled on what he was paying her,
but sometimes I guess they didn't have a system for it.
(38:23):
So my mom would say, hey, if you see your
dad today, will you get will you ask him for
the check? My sister and I've never talked about this,
but she she asked me this last Christmas break, did
you ever have to ask Dad for a check? And
I said yeah, Because by the time I got to
high school, my sister was already off at college, so
I guess my sister probably did it when she was
in high school. And then when my sister went off
(38:44):
to college, my mom would ask me to do it,
so I would have to say, hey, Dad, do you
have mom's check? And it just always felt awkward. And
then my dad's girlfriend, who at eighteen became his wife,
like my parents got divorced, and then my dad finally
married her, but they were together the whole time, like
he left my mom for her. We weren't planning on
talking about any of this.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
But we will get back to the birthday party.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yes, so, but I think these are all little childhood
things that make me uncomfortable around my birthday because it
was like from that moment on and like all the
different little uncomfortable things that happened to children that are
products of a broken home like that, And I think
this is my mom not having the capacity to celebrate
(39:29):
my birthday that year. Makes sense. But all these girls
came over to my house and I don't even know
what our activity was, but maybe we were channeling our
inner Megan Markle, because we decided to make sandwiches and
then all like like serve each other kind of like
play kitchen.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Okay, like a turkey sandwich, yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yep, well whatever. We got out all the stuff and
from the bread, I guess there was a piece of bread.
When I pulled out the bread, I saw that there
was I feel like I could cry when I talk
about this. I saw that there was like a little
mold on the bread. But my mom had always told me, like,
it's okay, if that slice has it, just throw it
(40:08):
out and the rest of the bread is fine. Like
that's what I had been told. Were you taught that.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I wasn't taught that, but my mom grow up, grew
up with her dad. If there was like mold or
something on cheese or bread, he would slice it off.
And this continued to.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Yeah, I mean, and I still would do that to
this day here, but I guess to some people. So
one of the girls that was there, like I did it,
and I kind of just discarded it and I didn't
say anything. And then I guess, I don't know if
they opened the trash ord or whatever. And I wasn't
trying to hide it. I just thought, this is what
you do. And it became this whole thing where she
was like, oh my gosh, there's mold on the bread.
(40:41):
And I was like, oh, but it's fine the rest
of the bread, and then they're like, no, well eating
the moldy bread, and it became this whole thing. And again,
I don't know why this came up during my meditation
this morning, but it did. I think it's because you
were asking, like, what are we gonna do for your breathday?
And a thing about my boyfriend is he's got a
(41:01):
son that has my birthday, and our families. While there's
been some commingling, it's not been full with all the kids,
so we don't all hang out. And so obviously he
needs to be with his son on his birthday and
not with me. So and I've got my kids, so
we're likely not hanging out.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
But you've been like this the last several four years
since probably been.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
And I separated. I know, I'm always just kind of
like you never excited about it. I'm not excited about it.
And I think during my marriage Ben would just take
the reins, but I was always like, okay, whatever, there's
been good times, like I've had great birthdays. It's not
it's any point that you don't I get uncomfortable like
when it's your birthday, you're like, this is what I
want to do this, and same thing with the other cat.
(41:48):
It's oh, it's my birthday month, it's my birthday week,
like I'm ready, and I'm like, I don't want a
birthday week. I don't want a birthday month. I barely
went the day, so I just want to get through
the day without any leutdowns of soil.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Because when you did, like that memory of a birthday
party you had when you were young lives with you.
And what's the like feeling that you have when you
think about.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Well, obviously I haven't told this story. I don't think ever.
I haven't told this story. I don't think ever. Yeah,
So when it popped into my brain this morning, I
(42:35):
thought that was my first birthday after my life completely changed,
and so I think it set the trajectory of my birthdays.
And I will say my dad's girlfriend, she liked to
throw a party. She was really good at it, and
I remembered them doing something really special for my eighteenth
birthday and she would go all out, like she would
(42:57):
order from like what was that website from China or
something oriental?
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Trick?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Yes, yes, okay, I know, so I didn't know where
I was coming from. Yes, all right, so whatever the theme,
she did it all. But then also, if you think
about it, I now have my dad's girlfriend who's making
my birthdays special, not my mom, not my dad her,
(43:27):
which was very kind of her. I think a lot
of times I like to think back on the things
like oh, that just frustrated me about their whole relationship,
and that I didn't ever really think she liked us.
But there's obviously times where she made us a priority.
And but I also think that fell under the category
of things she enjoyed for anybody, not just like her.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
It's for her and for you, not just for you.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Right, So that was very nice of her. So yeah,
I had some different parties there. But even like when
I graduated college, like something's special with my parents, Like
I even remember my boyfriend at the time, like what
we were going to do. Things are just anytime there's
a celebration, it's awkward for me. My wedding, I had
(44:13):
zero thoughts about what I wanted. That's why I was
able to do it in like six weeks because I
didn't have this dream or this vision of this is
what I want, so I'm like, I don't really care,
We'll just do it, and of course, yeah, we can
pull it off in six eight weeks. And looking back,
I'm like, why didn't I have once and desires and
(44:33):
dreams for it, and why didn't I want to be
patient so it could be I could live it out
and be what I wanted. Instead, I just was like, whatever,
let's just do this.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I remember you saying, didn't you buy your wedding dress
like online or something.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
JCrew dot com on sale for one hundred and ninety
nine dollars, which is like, so I never went to
try on here.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I would love to do that and never did it.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Yeah, I know. So if I get married again.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
We're going to try We are going to try on.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Dress and I want to plan like a wedding. Even
though it's my second wedding, it's nothing against my first wedding.
I mean, Ben and I were in the position that
we were in, like he was about to go to Afghanistan,
my sister was pregnant and if we waited, she was
going to be about to give birth. If we did
the date we wanted, and then also he was deploying,
(45:21):
it was just better to go ahead. And get married.
That's why a lot of military teria people do because
if Heaven for Rid something were to happen, like we
would have already gotten married.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
But this is a chance if you do get married again.
It's not really like there's nothing about the first marriage.
It's almost reparenting. I'm going to give myself the opportunity
that I wasn't able to give myself back then, because
that is what I authentically truly wanted, Just like birthday parties,
Like we were talking like I don't want you to
feel pressure to plan something because that's what you're supposed
(45:52):
to do on your birthday, or I don't want you
to feel pressure to have something be this or that
so people enjoy it. I want you to think about
if it was my birthday, and your birthday is a
day that you get to do something that brings you joy,
and if you want the people around you to celebrate
with you, you bring them in. That's what it's about.
Like there's this pressure to do it right.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Right or not have the moldy bread, the embarrassment and
what imailt that day. Like it's like when I started
to retell that story, I think that's why I got emotional.
I started to feel those feelings that I felt that
day and it just was so awkward.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
So anyway, and obviously you don't want to feel that again.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
Let's make sandwiches for my birthday.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
We should, we should, we.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Should make little well, so what we've decided to do though,
and I'm just going to throw this idea out there.
I was telling Kat that one year I had like
a yoga class birthday thing and I really really enjoyed that.
I really did. And then Kat said, oh my gosh,
my friend just started a yoga business where they do that.
That's it called Blue Imbalance and Balance. They're obviously based
(47:01):
here in Nashville, but no matter where you live, like
you could try to figure out a unique way to
bring an experience like that, and you you would like
like I would like that, Like if we went to
the park, which is what we're now trying to do
and booking Cat's friend and she can lead us through
yoga class and they bring the yoga mats and apparently
(47:24):
spaw water and nice touch lavender towels. And I already
checked the weather on my birthday for an outdoor early
evening yoga class. The weather's going to be perfect, and
so we'll just gather a few girls and then we
show up, we take the yoga class, we can socialize
and have some snacks after and obviously, and now I
think we just figured out the snacks. Sandwiches, finger sandwiches.
(47:49):
We can cut them up. We can like and tee
time and we talk like this.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
My name's Meg and Marco, yes.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
And well I'll bring some honey from that bees from.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
You should assigned every friend a different accent.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
From the garden, from the gurden.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Is this my garden?
Speaker 1 (48:08):
The garden? You mean the garden and these are all
your characters Elle garden, los garden. I don't know how
to say a garden in Spanish, but we figured it out.
We came up with a solution, and now I feel
really happy about it. And I guess I just want
to send a warm hug out to anybody else that
(48:28):
feels uncomfortable around. Maybe it's your birthday, and maybe it's
other types of celebrations or something, and maybe you're you've
never really known why you are the way that you are.
And let me just tell you. One day, you're gonna
be doing a three minute meditation and you're gonna slowly
strip away who you are and then boom, a memory
is gonna pop into your head, and then you're gonna wonder, huh,
(48:49):
maybe that's it. Maybe that is what I need to
revisit and feel and let go up.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
This might be like a dumb moment for you, but
I want to say it that if you felt you
said you felt embarrassed in shame in that memory, that
would make sense that you never would want to create
a situation where that could happen again. Even if you
don't keep that memory like in the front of your brain,
your body's like, I never want to feel that, So
we're going to avoid anything that would give us the
(49:17):
opportunity to do that again. So you never want to
be embarrassed when a group of people come over to
your house. That's why you get these ick feelings.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Well, and also I think that was mixed with this
weird feeling of like where was my mom.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
And why wasn't anybody part of that celebration?
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Where was like did we even have a cake? I
don't know. I think it was just like, how about
Sunday after church, since it's your birthday, you invite some friends.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Over and then I'll hopefully we'll be in the fridge, well.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Sandwich stuff out from the fridge and y'all can play
top chef. That didn't exist then. So I was trying
to take a shop.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Like you get random things and you put.
Speaker 3 (49:48):
Them to shot, which yeah, but this is where you
get to say, like I was worth and worthy of
having an actual birthday party, especially that year, Like that year,
this is gonna make especially that year, you should have
had a celebration, so you knew that you were important
in a priority and not forgotten, and this is a
(50:09):
chance for you to reclaim that.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
And I'm working, and I also have grace for my
mom like juggling, which this is what I was trying
to point out earlier. And I'll put a bow on
it since again, ADHD, this podcast has been all over
the place. But my mom went back to work instantly,
and so I think she was just juggling a lot,
so she was probably tired, and who knows, maybe I
(50:33):
had to prepare for Monday or the week or she
was like, oh, it's Amy's first birthday without dad here.
And I think that can go either way, like a
parent can maybe go over the top and be like
I need to make this perfect because I don't want it,
or if they're in their own little depression, it may
not be anything, which for me, that's where it fell,
(50:54):
and I totally get it, especially walking through things as
an adult. Now that I've walked through see me handling
something that way, I think the difference might be now
if I were to do that, I would hopefully eventually
have the awareness that that's happening, and I would go
amend it.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
And you're speaking of the both, and I have grace
and understanding of why this was the situation as an adult,
and I still was worthy of and deserved something.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
We're working through this, and I know there's probably a
little more work for me to do on it, but
I'm excited that maybe I was given this memory as like, oh,
now you get to deal with it, deal with that
part of you, so that future me can have the
parties that you let go. Let's have the parties that
I want and the.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
Wedding and the this and then that. Yeah, wait for
all your celebrations now.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Gosh, solving all the problems today.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Well, happy birthday, thank you, You're all.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Right. So next Tuesday, March twenty fifth, oh, which speaking
of people's birthdays. I got a DM from a listener
that was like, March twenty fifth, have it on my calendar.
I think she said something like it's perfect because my
birthday's the twenty fourth or something, so that it'll be
like a birthday present. And so I went ahead and
DMed her. I was like, hey, early birthday present. Here's
what we're doing. And I sent her the thing and
(52:15):
all the things. And then she was like, oh my gosh,
so the thing and all the things. That's what we'll
be sharing next Tuesday, March twenty fifth. Kat and I
are so excited.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
All right, have the birthday you need to have, Okay, I.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
Will, and then hot the day you need to have?
Say it Irish, Hey have the day you need him?
Oh I could do Russian, Hey have the day you
need the hand that's like the guy from Despicable Me.
Oh yeah, my sister and I to the Russian. We
would be like hello, cis third and one time. Oh
(52:52):
close on this, since we're talking about my parents and
cassette tapes. I got a speeding ticket and I was
so scared to tell my dad. Don't know why, because
again he was passive, But I think I just didn't
like letting him down. And I recorded a whole message
on a cassette tape, and I was in Alabama, look
at my aunt's house, and I mailed it to him,
(53:12):
and so he got it in the mail a cassette tape.
Then he put it in and he played it and
I said, hello, father, this is your daughter. And I
think I inherited your lead foot.
Speaker 2 (53:27):
Wait, that's a really good accent.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
Yeah, because this is how we used to talk all
the time, me and my sister.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
So then you didn't get in trouble because it was funny.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
Because it was funny. And also I blamed it on
him because I inherited his lead foot, which led foot
make accelerator go faster.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
So it's his fault.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
It's his fault.
Speaker 2 (53:45):
This is my character that you need to bring out
an improv.
Speaker 1 (53:48):
Yeah, what is her name? Don't know, she doesn't have
a name. Hello father, I am Amy, I don't know.
I don't think I am hello father. I got it
from my sister and her college roommates. They would go
out to eat and they would order their food. She
had silly roommates and they would go out to eat
and they would order their food like that and they
(54:09):
would just die laughing. And so my sister would do
with her roommates and I was like, oh, this is sun.
So I was like, hello, Suster, be a part of it.
So now we do that every once in a while,
and my niece will do it now too, and she'll
be like hello, hello father, Hello mother. Oh s like
a thing, no fence to any Russians.
Speaker 2 (54:27):
I honestly want to hear what an English American accent
what they people think it is, because people like Milly
Bobby Brown and that have accents, they just they sound
really good as Americans. Like I didn't know she had
did you know that?
Speaker 1 (54:41):
I thought she was an American.
Speaker 2 (54:42):
No, she is an English accent. I don't know exactly
where she's from.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
But good day mate, Good day mate, good day mate. Okay,
all right, good day to have signing off from the car.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
Park, signing off from the garden.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Car park that's what they call park lot. Oh and
ours it would be Australian, so I know some of
the sayings. He always says, good on you, Ames, good
on you, and I'm like, thank you for that encouragement.
It's like I wish we said that here in America.
Good on you, good on you, good on you. Don't
start doing that, no, do they, because I know I'm
(55:20):
just kidding.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
Heard that.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
Have you heard that? Like often though, no just Americans
they would say good on you.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
But I've heard somebody be like, good on you.
Speaker 1 (55:30):
Good on you.
Speaker 2 (55:31):
I feel like they.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
Said they go to my church and they're repeating our
pastor for your church, good on you. There's a lot
of Australian Christians here in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (55:42):
How many lots, well, two of.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Them pastor Church Raman, and then their cousins are the
for King and country guys.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
Oh I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
Good on you, good okay, bye bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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