June 6, 2024 • 36 mins
Amy has a goal of creating a home that is full of people & connection...where kids & friends always feel welcome. Her niece, Adelyn, joins her for this chat...sharing her experience growing up in a home that was the 'hangout house' and how her parents are very intentional about cultivating a home that is inviting...where people/teens/friends/family feel welcome even when things aren't perfect!
Key Takeaways:
- Listen to Crowded Table by The Highwomen.
- Don't overthink it.
- Relax about stuff that doesn't matter in the big picture.
- Always have a few extra stools to add to the table.
- Be involved, curious, ask questions.
- Serving both sides of the counter!
- Root For Each Other (shout out Root House!)
- No matter what, be welcoming.
- Offer rides.
- Let them make the dang 'smash cake.'
- Have food on hand and a place where people feel like they can hang out....and it doesn't have to be fancy...HELLO CHEESE TOAST!
- Think: sausage on the grill, queso in a crock pot & pre-made cookie dough in the oven with a game of corn-hole and everyone around the fire pit. Keep it simple.
- 4 Things Gratitude.
Adelyn is staying with Amy over the summer to complete an internship for her business degree at CU Boulder, so she'll actually be doing 4 episodes with Amy over the month of June talking about various topics! This is episode 1 of 4. Hope you enjoy it!! Adelyn is trying to get Amy to talk about dating for next week's episode! TBD.
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST: Adelyn Dozier
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Cast up little food for yoursel.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Life.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty, but hey, it's pretty beautiful, man, beautiful.
That for a little more exciting, said he. You're kicking
with four with Amy Brown.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Happy Thursday, four Things Amy Here, and my guest today
is my niece Adeline, who just moved in with me
for the next eight weeks.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hi, adelin.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Hey, my sister Christy Christy Doser and her husband Been Doser.
They've come on the podcast before. Maybe you've heard them
on here or you watched their show Building Roots on
h G t V. Adeline was also a part of
that show, and she works at their coffee shop and
pagosas for Colorado Roothhouse, and she is on summer break
(01:03):
from University of Colorado in Boulder, YEP.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
And I don't know how this happened.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
How I got to an age where now I have
a job where I can provide an internship for my
niece that's in college.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
So what was the deal?
Speaker 3 (01:15):
You had to complete an internship And somehow thought of.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Me, Yeah, I'm a business major at CU.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
Being a business major, I have to have an internship
credit at some point, either this summer or next. My
dad had come in a Boulder for a weekend, and
we were listing all the different people I could reach
out to for an internship, and so there was a
list of like eight people, but you were top of
the list. And then I remember just texting you one
day because my aunt because my dad was like, send
her a professional email.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I was like, that just feels weird. So then I
just decided to text you.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I do see your dad's point on that, wanting to
teach you how to approach things in a professional manner,
So I can appreciate that. But I'm glad you reached out.
I'm glad it worked out, and Wila fast forward. Now
you're here for the next eight weeks. So a fun
thing adel and I are going to do for the
next four weeks. At least, I was looking at June.
This is the first Thursday of June. We've got four total,
(02:03):
so I thought, well, Adelin's going to be a guest
on the next four weeks. So every Thursday for four
things for the next four weeks. It's Adeline Doser as
a guest, and we're coming up with different topics. And
I'm really excited about today's topic because we're gonna be
talking about creating a home that is welcoming for me
right now, I want it to be welcome to teenage kids.
(02:26):
But depending on your season of life, it might be
neighbors that you have, a book club, community, your church community,
a girls' night, whatever you want it to look like,
to have an open home. If that is an environment
you want to create, you're gonna love this conversation because
my sister and her husband, they did a beautiful job
with their four children and therefore all four children's friends
(02:49):
feeling welcome.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
At their home.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
And so I had Adeline interview her mom for some things,
and then we're gonna get Adeline's perspective too, being a
teenager growing up in a home that was like that,
because I wouldn't say that's necessarily how Christy and I
grew up. Our dad loved to cook and host dinner parties,
and that's not really what we're talking about here, because
my sister does have the hospitality gene, and she's been
(03:12):
on the podcast before talking about that specifically, and I
do think she's an amazing cook and can entertain in
that way and throw a party. But this is just
everyday life.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
This is just your.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Home feeling like the hangout spot on any given random day,
with no real planning done, it just organically can happen,
and you're equipped to handle it because you've listened to
this podcast and you've taken notes, and then you're ready
to go. Because now that my kids are officially teenagers
and they're building these friendships, I want my home to
(03:49):
be this and I am now a single mom, and
so Ben and Christy have had that together, and I
think Ben and I, my Ben and my ex Ben
and I would have had that together, you know, and
he can do his thing at his house, But now
I have to decide what I'm going to do here,
and we're going to be moving into a new home soon,
and I feel like it's just an opportunity for a
fresh start. So I'm very pumped for this conversation to
(04:10):
hear what it was like for you, Adeline, and then
what tips you got from your mom for us to
create this space. And I know that one of your
mom's favorite songs is The High Women Crowded Table, and
I love that song. I encourage you to go listen
to it. Anybody listening. It's such a good song. I'd
play it for you now, But music isn't allowed on
(04:32):
podcasts and they would just flag me.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
So that's not going to happen.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
So Adelin start with your experience and then we'll get
into how to create the energy the vibe, different recipes,
food tips, tricks.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
And this isn't a money thing.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
This is not meant to stress anybody out in any
way and make you feel like, oh, how am I
going to do this? I can't do xyz. This is
really a mentality and I'm going to be making a
mental shift because I think I'm a little uptight.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
At times and I feel like the point that we'll
try and get across through this is that it's just
simplifying everything in your mind. If you feel uptight about
having people over and things, it's.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
About and that's what.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
Yes, it's just about connection and having an open house
and being okay with mess and the benefos of towels
you felt from that, No, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Being okay with mess.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Yeah, I know, I'm like people are coming over early,
but it's okay to have a lived in house. And
I know Christy can get that way too. Oh she
actually can get very fixated on that sort of thing.
But I have been very impressed how she has raised, y'all,
and the type of home she's decided to build, and
it's it's taken effort, but also not really that much
(05:42):
effort at all, because again it's a mindset.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
So what's your.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Experience with your mom and your dad and the way
they've chosen to have the hangspot.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
I'll start off with the first time I ever had
friends over. It was right when we moved to Colorado
after leaving Austin, and I was a freshman in high
school and I had never had a friend over, and
I was so nervous, and we were all outside playing
basketball and mom starts walking out with these trays of
cheese toast and she just had toast with a sliced
cheese baked in the oven, and she kept bringing out
(06:15):
trays of them and then my friends would just keep
eating them.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
And that was the first time I ever had friends over.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
And I remember my mom was like freaking out when
I would go inside and she'd be like, you guys
having fun, Like you need more cheese toast, And she
was so concerned about making sure that we were fed.
Anyone that comes over is just so loved by my parents.
I was talking to my mom yesterday about this, and
she said, I feel like one of the biggest things
is that, like I want to get to know the
(06:41):
friends that my kids are friends with, to know like
kinds of people that were hanging out with. And so
that's another thing where like instantly my mom and my
dad especially like would get to know my friends. And
that made me feel so comfortable being able to bring
people over because I knew that my parents one were
okay with it, and two even they would like make
(07:01):
the best of it and have a good time with
my friends and get to know them and invest in
their own lives. And Pegosa is a small town, but
the reality was that like a lot of my friends
didn't have good family homes. And it was the most
special thing to know that my friends would come and
stay the night at my house for nights in a
row because they felt like family at my home. And
there was always a seat at the table, And there's
(07:23):
always extra stools that we keep in our dining room
to drag up to the table. And we're a family
of six and it only fits six at the table,
but we'll find a way to add like three or
four more stools. There's all these little things none of
it is big. It's all the little things that make
my friends feel very loved. Well, like the extra stools. Yeah,
like there are these little metal stools that give everyone
(07:43):
a seat at the table. And going back to that song,
crowded table, Like, that's my mom's dream for any house
that we're in is that we will have a crowded table.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And that is what happens most every night.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
I've witnessed it and I've been a part of it,
and it does feel special and I love that. You know,
she wanted to make sure that y'all were good, but
it's not like she was going over the top with
this crazy stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
And of course I'm sure there's times where she's done.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Cheese trays and fruit trays and whatnot just to have
some other options. But it's as simple as bread on
a pan with a slice of cheese in the oven
at three fifty for a few minutes and then taking
trays out and making sure kids know like, hey, I
see you, I'm here for you. That speaks to kids
in a way. You felt that you still remember it,
and that was in Nicevill.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I'll never forget it.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
It's because I was so nervous and like bringing out towels,
like we're when we're all sitting outside, she would bring
out towels, basically inviting us, like, yes, get in our
hot tup, like get in the river and make a mess,
and here's some towels for when you guys get out.
It's just like she always set us up to know
that we are invited to indulge in everything in the house.
She would just set us up to like have fun
(08:49):
in those ways and always made me and my brothers,
I know, feel us too, feel allowed to have fun.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
All right, I kind of want to talk about the
Taco bell motto here for a second, because your great
grandma and grandpa owned taco bells, and then your grandpa
ended up running a lot of them, to which my
mom was then his assistant, so she worked at Taco
Bell for twenty five years. And then my ex husband's
dad also worked.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
There in the office.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I mean the tangled webs we weave because then my
dad ended up dating your great grandmother, so your grandpa
was dating you know.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, it gets complicated.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
So see, we really welcome everybody, everybody everyone everyone is
welcome MOUs. But a taco bell saying was serving on
both sides of the counter. And even my mom her
work email, she would sign off like her signature on
her email was here to serve. I know, a big
(09:49):
motto within at least that franchise group. So Taco Bell
is a franchise in our family. That was a franchise
that was based in Austin, and they would all go
to the office every day, and that was a company
that cultivated a lot of connection and community and love
and service. And I know that your mom talks about
(10:10):
serving both sides of the counter and that if there
are a group of people coming over, everybody kind of
jumps in and serves. She's not also just serving y'all
all over, Like y'all come and are part of it too.
I'm picturing like the island table, like everybody's just doing
their part. Like say, if it does turn into more
of a sit down dinner, it's like everybody is welcome
(10:33):
to start pitching in and serving each other.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Yeah, that was one thing that we always did. We
would always set timers and do pus, which is a
pickup session, and so we do like seven minute pus.
And it was something where my friends, especially my best
friends who were over all the time in high school,
and my brother's friends do the exact same thing. You'll
find the teenage boys around the kitchen cleaning up after
dinner because they know if they're coming over that they're
(10:57):
probably going to get fed a really good meal and
every single time, whether it's like sausage on the fire
or a really nice like pork tacos, anything, but they
always know if they're gonna come eat, Like we're all
mutually gonna help my mom clean up because she does
so much for us, and it was something that was
expected that as my parents are serving us, we will
(11:18):
serve them back. And it was something I remember at
first feeling nervous, like, oh, I don't want to make
my friends have to help clean up in the kitchen,
But then it just became this fun thing like turn
on music, set a time, or see how fast you
can get it done. That was a way where we
kind of created mutual like, Okay, I'm allowed to have
people over if we're gonna serve on both ends of this,
(11:38):
like we'll serve my family and then my mom and
dad they'll serve us in probably so many more ways
than me and my friends would serve.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Them, but still it's a little mutual exchange. Now.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I love that that expectation was set up, and you know,
it's just something that's been in their family and they knew, hey,
this is how we're going to do it. And I
think that it takes the pressure off too some parents
they are maybe wanting to create the space and they
feel like they have to burn themselves out to serve
their kids. And really it invites it to be like,
(12:09):
this is an experience for all of us, and then
it welcomes even more people to come because it makes
it less stressful. And I know that your parents were
good at Okay, if somebody needs a ride and they
want to come, we'll go pick them up, or we
can give them a ride home, or making sure people
can carpool, and just being that type of family. And
I'll admit sometimes I don't like I'll just have certain
(12:32):
things going on and I don't pause to think, Okay,
if I just go create this space for my kids
by allowing them to get somewhere or have others come
over here, they're going to remember me pausing life to
do that. I really think that even listening to you talk,
I feel as though they absolutely will remember if for
(12:52):
whatever reason, one of their friends couldn't make it, and
I could pause and figure out how to get someone over.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
And it means a lot more to them than show.
Then they'll show in the time being. But then those
are all the things that now, being three years out
of the house, I still remember all the little things
my parents would do well.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
And then at the coffee shop, well, Root Design is
the design build firm. Then there's the coffee shop, Root
House Coffee, but there's hats and cups, there's a logo,
a theme of root for each other. Do you think
that that's been a big part of your friend's experience
when they're over? Did they feel rooted for? Root Design
(13:40):
is the design build firm. Then there's the coffee shop,
Root House Coffee, but there's hats and cups, there's a logo,
a theme of root for each other. Do you think
that that's been a big part of your friend's experience
when they're over? Did they feel rooted for?
Speaker 5 (13:56):
Yeah, because I'd watched my dad like specifically just go
and hang out with my friends without me even being
there and talk about life. And my dad was someone
who he genuinely knew the core things going on in
my friends' lives and he cares about it and that
means the world to me, and in turn, like my
(14:16):
friends feel rooted for, and then they root for my family.
We had all of my friends working at the coffee
shop at one point. That was the best thing ever
in high school. But yeah, just like mutually all rooting
for each other, and that kind of starts at the
house when people are over and they feel seen and
taken care of, and my mom and dad just have
(14:36):
such a welcoming spirit.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
It's hard.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
It's hard for my friends not to feel rooted for
when they're over at our house, which makes me just
so grateful for my parents and everything they do.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I mean, watching you talk, they're going to love this episode.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Well.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I truly am encouraged because I could be better at that,
and I need to be more intentional about asking more
questions and trying to get to know the kids well
that my kids are hanging out with and said just
letting them go off and do their thing, and that
they're probably not going to be as annoyed as I
would think. I don't really allow kids just hanging out
in their room with the door shut. It's not because
(15:12):
I'm trying to create a vibe. It's just a rule
that Ben and I set of, like, Hey, you're going
to hang out out in common areas because we don't
want y'all just hold up in your room on your phones.
But Sashira had some girlfriends over the last day of school,
which I thought was really awesome, and it sort of
gave me the itch for how I want my home
to be this summer. Because then Stevenson had a friend
over at the same time, so there was three teenage
(15:33):
girls and two teenage boys total, so had five kids
kind of running around the house. And the girls decided
to bake a cake, and I was like, be breezy.
I'd already cleaned the kitchen, everything was put away, and
it was almost midnight, and they busted out all the
cake stuff, and.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I thought, Okay, be cool, be cool, chill, chill, it's
all good. This is also final day of school.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And I was definitely not at home when I was
seventeen on my last day of school, I was out
at s part.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Yeah, so I think, goodness, they were baking a cake
at midnight at your house.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I know.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I was as opposed to so many other things I'm
all for it.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Well, they had just gotten their yearbook on the last
day of school, and she got out her polaroid, which
I thought was fun, and they were taking pictures of
pictures of the yearbooks so that way they didn't have
to cut up the yearbook, you know. And then they
cut up the pictures and put them on toothpicks, and
then they were going to decorate the cake with the
cute boys or whatever, and so then we're talking about, well, they.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Took pictures of the boys, you like, cute boys, and
cut their heads out, put them on toothpicks, and then
when the cake was all decorated, they put the toothpicks
in the cake.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
And I thought, all, this is fun, you know, like
I remember.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Thinking obviously all the cute boys at school that you
were attracted to, and of course they all had different taste,
which I loved.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
And then come to find out, I'm like, so what
is this? Is this a thing?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
And they're like, yeah, Mom, it's just a cake. It
was a thing on TikTok maybe like last year or whatever.
And I said, well, does it have a name, like
it's a trend?
Speaker 4 (16:58):
Was it viral?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
What's it called?
Speaker 3 (17:00):
And they're like, it's called a smash cake, but that's
not what we call it. And I thought, what because
I mean, think about it, get it okay, I don't
want to go any further with it because my jaw
dropped it. But then also remember, be cool. I'm cool
because that's what she call it. They just called it
a cake with the boys with boys on toothpicks.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Like they're like, mom, that's not what it's really about.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
We just thought it'd be fun to make, and so
I didn't get all uptight about that.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
We had a good time.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Well, then the boys come down and one of the boys,
well there was only one boy, Stevenson's friend. Stevenson's friend
comes down and starts looking at the cake and he's like,
that's my brother. And he was like freaking out that
his brother was on the cake, and he was screw
you know, he's like thirteen or whatever, and he's screaming like,
(17:50):
take my brother off.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
The cake, like why are y'all looking?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Why a y'all looking at my brother? Like this is weird.
Now I'm gonna have to eat a cake with my brother.
And of course I don't even know if they know
what's mash cake means, but it just has this fun
little thing. And I share that story as a reminder
about little things that we can get uptied about, where
then we lose the moment, because I think I could
have gotten all wrapped up in the fact that that's
(18:15):
a viral type cake from TikTok a year ago that
has a name that I think is not appropriate, or
I can know this is an innocent thing they're doing
right now.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
They think it's fun.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Maybe it leads to conversation later about something else down
the line, but now this is not the moment for that.
I should let them bake the cake, do the cake,
decorate the cake, eat the cake, and have a good
time at midnight.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
And then they all went.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
And jumped in the pool and had music loud, and
I did have to go out and be like, hey,
our neighbors are really close and it's midnight, so dial
it back a little bit. But I still let them
just do their thing. And I think that as parents,
sometimes we need to look at the bigger picture. And
when you do that and you can step back, then
(19:00):
you won't get us wrapped around the axle on stuff
that doesn't really matter in the long run. I think
Stasher will look back and always remember baking that cake
with her friends because of all the different things that happened,
including Stevenson's friend coming down and being like, that's my brother.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
It's so awesome that on the last day of school
they were over at your house making a cake. There
were things like that that happened in high school where
my mom would be like, really, really, you're not doing that,
but then it just be something we laugh off and
then maybe we talk about it later, but it was
happening either way, and so it was a matter of
just mom like embracing it in a sense or shutting
(19:39):
it down.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
What shouldn't often do?
Speaker 5 (19:41):
I mean, that's a minor circumstance, but right, I.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Mean, obviously when there needs to be in things you yes,
parents interview we're talking about, just like, okay, you can
overlook and not get up tied about and ruin a
moment like I could ruin a moment, and then that
makes her friends be like, I don't really want to
hang out over there anymore. And then suddenly you're not
the hang house anymore. And my mom's house was not
(20:05):
the hang house at all.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Again.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
My dad I mentioned that he liked to hook and
have people over, and that's what we're talking about. But
my dad had no rules, so I'm also not saying that.
And I actually get frustrated with my dad now that
I'm a grown adult and I have teenage kids, and
I'm like, used to let me have parties all the time,
And that's not what we're talking about here either. It's
talking about creating a safe space. Now, of course, did
(20:28):
I think it was cool my dad would let me
have parties with boys and girls and drinking like it
was not okay, Like things that my dad allowed looking back,
just totally not okay. But I think he was trying
to be cool. And then I but I question, now,
did you even love me? And of course I know
he loved me. He just didn't have certain boundaries that
I now wish he would have had. And so really
(20:50):
we're talking about a space that is fun, welcoming, but
also a safe environment because oftentimes those parties at my
dad's house, that's not safe. And I know kind of
detouring there, but I just want to make sure we're
being clear on the type of home you want to
have and the type of home your parents had. It's
not like it was just teenagers there all the time,
(21:10):
free for all. It was like real blonding fun like
quality stuff like games, sitting around the campfire with a guitar,
doing s'mores, playing certain things. Again, not anything that really
costs much, but it's just togetherness and being creative.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
And I will say our house was never a party
house in high school.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
My dad would never have let that happen.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
But because there were those rules that I was never
going to be a house where we could like host
parties where there would be things that are not okay, Like,
we were never that house. And because of that, it
invited so much more genuine connection in a sense. And
I would not say this in high school, but looking back,
like I'm still so close to the friends I have
had in high school, and a lot of that is
(21:56):
because they were always at our house. And our house
wasn't a place where you were going to go out
and go do dumb things. It was a place where
you were gonna sit by the fire and play the
guitar and play cornhole and actually have real conversations and
all eat dinner at a table or breakfast or breakfast
sleepovers every night, all the things that are way more
genuine and created way deeper friendships in my life because
(22:19):
we weren't the party house.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I'm glad we like because of five that.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yeah, and the expectations, yeah, that were set, which you've
talked about. Your mom always had like the different snack
things and that kids are gonna come over and they
were gonna get fed. I feel like, again, my dad
was really really good at that, like having all the
food and a lot of growing boys. And I know
that a lot of times that's not always an option
for everybody to be feeding tons of people. But I know, Chris,
(22:47):
you would do just like things in the crock pot
that you could easily shred and then like taco bars,
baked potato bars.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
But to kids, that's a good meal.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
It was awesome. Yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Yeah, back to the not overthinking it type thing and
then snacks of course, and maybe certain types of drinks
if your friends like that. But I'm just kind of
think of my summer list of like what I'm going
to do, and I'm going to plan ahead, and I
want to invest in that. So instead of maybe even
spending money on some other things I was thinking about, well,
(23:17):
I'm actually going to invest in keeping certain things stocked
and making sure that I've got all the things.
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Like even the cornhole.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
That's a one time investment that you get a lot
of use out of and you just sit it outside.
And then the kids start having tournaments and have you
all started playing poetry for Neanderthals.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Me and Mom text like that all the time.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Therapy Cat and I talk about it.
Speaker 5 (23:39):
Well, I first heard about it on that episode. Yeah,
that's when I first heard it. And then Mom said
she had ordered it and I was like, I just
listened to that podcast this morning.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Well, I definitely encourage people to check it out.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
But it's one syllable words to describe something in a game,
and then if you end up not doing it, there's
this blow up little bat thingy you get.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Hit hit and it's so fun.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
But there's charades and with a big group of people
that's so fun. There's revers charades, there's pictionary. Don't use
the pictionary drawing board that comes in the little pictionary box, Like,
go get an office Max or Staples or wherever and
get a white board and get some dry erase markers
and set up a big pictionary board.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
We were doing that last summer with the kids.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
In this video that I made of Stevenson, he was
drawing something.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I mean, Adeline off to show you the video.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
He was so proud of his work and he was
so frustrated that we were not getting it. And if
we were guessing all kinds of things. Ben and I
we were separated at this time, or maybe even like
getting divorce, I don't know, but we were all still
having a family meal around the table with some friends
that came over because that was important to us, and
we set it up and we were yelling out things
(24:50):
and then all of a sudden, the timer's up and
we were like, well, what is it? And he looked
at us so defeated, and he was like, it's a
blueberry muffin. Like there's no way we were ever gonna
get it.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
But that's it.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
That's something that everybody at that table that night, even
a year later, if I were to say blueberry muffin, like,
they're gonna think of Stevenson drawing it, Yeah, and they're
going to smile and giggle. And so it just makes
me think of those funny moments that you just create
and have and that becomes special and you don't ever
forget them. I'm even thinking of just like having fresh
(25:24):
baked cookies and desserts around all the time. When Ben
and I were in the adoption process, we were doing
our home study. So they come and they check out
your home, and you do all this training to be
welcoming parents to kids that are coming into your home
that likely have trauma, they've been separated from their birth parents,
(25:44):
especially depending on the age. And our kids were older.
When Sashia got here, she was eleven and stephensonmm's seven.
And I remember during the training talking about how when
kids are coming, we never know. Certain smells can be
a thing and it could actually be a negative. But
they were encouraged that cookies baking in the oven is
oftentimes a comforting sell.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
Oh yeah, and it doesn't even need to be like
homemade cookies. Mom always has one of those tubs, the
Nestle toll house cookie dough like the big tubs.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Is it Nesl or Nestlie Oh, I don't know, I
say Nessle.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Friends where Phoebe she has her famous cookie recipe.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
She says it's in her family Nestle toll.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
House or something like that, and it's like nestleye toll House,
so Christy or your mom has the Nestley toll House,
big bucket of cookies.
Speaker 5 (26:35):
Yes, always okay, and then we would always like late
at night, just throw them in the oven and it's
so easy, see simple, and it smells like the house.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Easy stuff.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
And again, if you're not hosting teenagers, which if if
you don't have any teenagers in your life, I.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Don't know how you're still listening to this.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
You probably gave up a while ago, because we definitely
went down that rabbit hole for parents. But I think
if you're hosting girls night, or hosting book club, or
trying to create something, what are things you can easily
keep in your freezer that after a long day at work,
if you're hosting it on a Tuesday night, you can
come home and easily like pop some stuff in the oven,
(27:12):
get out a bottle of wine, or make some sangria,
or throw together some easy margarita stuff, or maybe there's
no alcohol, Just like, what little ways can you plan
ahead to make it easy on yourself to have people over.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
But again, release the pressure. But I get it. If
you're hosting book club, you want to have some things out.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
You want a nice cheese board, and you can just
be prepared, get ahead if you have a Trader Joe's
where you live. There's so many easy cheeses there that
are under ten dollars or five dollars or less, because
I know cheese can get up there in price.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I mentioned Friends a minute ago. Do you watch that?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I mentioned Friends a minute ago? Do you watch that
at all? Like your generation? Okay, I watched all of it.
I didn't know how it aged because it was out
ninety five to two thousand and five, and Stashira recently
watched it all and she likes it.
Speaker 5 (28:14):
It aged well because it's something that all of my
friends have seen at one point or another.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Yeah, it's so good. It's so good. It's one of
my comfort shows. Like I'll go back and just watch
that to feel comfort. I know what to expect. I
know I'm going to enjoy it, and we like that.
I think there's been studies done that talk about how
we crave that familiarity in either a movie or a
TV show. Do you have a TV show or a
(28:39):
movie that gives you that?
Speaker 5 (28:40):
I mean, probably Grayson Frankie. My first TV show I
remember loving was good Look Charlie did you.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Ever watch that? I don't know what that is.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
I bet steven senterstash Shira. They must have seen it.
It's like on Disney channels.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
But would you watch it now?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah? For comfort?
Speaker 5 (28:53):
Yeah, but now for comfort, I would watch I would
watch like The Office or Friends, but I like friends
more than the office.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
The office.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
H well too, Well, thank you so much for talking
about how to create a crowded table. I'm so thankful
for this opportunity that you gave us by reaching out.
So thank you for thinking of me for the internship.
And speaking of gratitude, do you have four things that
you are thankful for today? Which this is another thing
(29:23):
you can do around the crowded table is everybody can
go around and do high lows. Everybody can go around
and share one thing they're thankful for. But this is
the four Things podcast, so I have my guests share
four things. So, Adamlyn, what are four things you're thankful
for today?
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Well, the first thing on my mind is I'm just
thankful about I'm finally here in Nashville and with you,
and I mean this is like day two of me
being here for the.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Next eight weeks.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
So I'm grateful I made it here, and that I
get to spend so much time with you, because we
never get to spend a lot of time together. It's
usually only just like christ Day two, I mean Christmas
and maybe once in the summer.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
That's it. Yeah, So I'm excited for that.
Speaker 5 (29:59):
And I'm grateful for a trail like a lake trail
that you have nearby. And I walked it today and
I ran it yesterday, and I like being out in nature.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
That's why I like Colorado so much, so I like
having that here.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
On that note, I'm marathon training and I'm grateful that
I love to run in that I've enjoyed the training
because I know most people hate it and I probably
will once I have to run really far.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, you did just start the training. I just I'm
doing like six three to six miles of.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
The Fundel right now.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
It's fun.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Adeline's twenty one and she's about to run her first marathon.
And I ran my first marathon in college when I
was around twenty twenty one, and I was telling Adeline,
I'm so excited for her, but also it ruined my
college life a little bit.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
So don't let that happen.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
If you feel like you're going to be hurt or
if your body is telling you let it go, let
it go. Because I should have listened. I didn't let
it go. I was so determined. I mean, my mom
and my boyfriend were meeting me like every you know,
four or five miles to cheer me on and giving
me more ibuprofen or a leave or whatever they were
giving me like anti inflammatories because I was in so
(31:10):
much pain.
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Well, and then weren't you and you were so miserable
after your boyfriend, Yeah, he broke up with me, broke.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Up with what was miserable for like six weeks ago. Okay,
that's like horror. That is horror. Marathon experience like that
does not usually happen.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
But I didn't listen to my body.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I should have.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
There's no way I should have ever even done it.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Even the last few weeks of training, I did water jogging,
which is where you put a little harness on and
you get in the pool and you just mimic you
do your legs like you're jogging in the water and
you're held up by your little harness. You're just floating there.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
And where did you have one of those? Well?
Speaker 3 (31:42):
I trained with a group at Texas A and M's.
We had a training group and our coach would lead
water jogging training too. For anyone that was injured and stupid,
then it's like, you're injured, but come do water jogging.
It actually was a way to exercise the muscles in
the exact same way, but without any injury, without the
impact correct, yeah, like without adding further pressure or pain
(32:05):
or injury to your knees or your feet or whatever,
your hips, whatever was feeling it at the time. So
that way you could still get the movement and your
muscles would respond and react to like, oh, I can
go this far, because we would water jog for however
many miles we needed to jog the water jog that day.
(32:25):
So good luck with that, thinks, don't be like me.
I'm sure you and your boyfriend will survive this, no problem.
So what else are you thankful for? That's the marathon's
third thing. What's the fourth thing?
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Well, I think, just to wrap up with the episode,
I'm thankful for my parents and that I got to
reap the benefits of everything that they they did for
me when I was at the house and still what
they do when I come home it's just the best
place to come home too. So I'm thankful for them,
and I know they're going to listen to this and
they're gonna eat this up. But they are the best,
and that would be my fourth thing.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
My hope is that they'll look at each other hey,
then hey, Christy and high five, because they truly have
done an amazing job with all of y'all, and you're
the first one to be an official adult, and I
think that's when it really starts to show, like the
fruit of their labor and the investment that they made
(33:18):
in y'all and how they wanted to show up for you.
I know, I see it in Gunner and Creed in
South two, but with you being an official adult now
and I got to hang out with you some in
Austin a few weeks ago when we went out with
Jelly Roll and oh yeah, you were finally twsted whatever
and you took a shot with Jelly Roll and that
was fun to witness, But also seeing you be a
(33:39):
responsible twenty one year olds, like, of course you're experiencing
college life, you're having fun. But my view on you
is you seem very grounded. I don't want to project
that on you. If you feel like you're not that
that's actually a good thing. I'm not projecting anything bad,
but I hope you feel that. I hope you feel.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Grounded, because that's but you give out.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
And if that's not exactly what you feel, I hope
you get there because you're You certainly helped me feel
more grounded.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Sometimes I'm like, oh, I wish I.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Could go back and do college the way you're doing it,
or live life the way you're living it.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Y'all go camping, you make experiences.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
You're not just living the typical college a swarty girl life,
even though you are in a security shout out. Except
for I was so I was a Kappa Kappa Gamma
and Christy was a Kyomega.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And then yeah, mom, Mom cried. Mom cried on mid day.
Speaker 5 (34:34):
She did why she did when I facetimed her when
I was Chris I became a DG.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
It was mid day.
Speaker 5 (34:40):
She cried, She's had sent me the Kio symphonies. The
I mean, that's a whole other story, but it was ridiculous.
And then Dad texts me and he was like, thanks, Adeline.
Now it's the great depression around here. But he said
does exact work.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
Okay, but the reason is not a big day. It's yes, a,
it's not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
And then b let's establish that it was not a
big deal in our family at all. Neither one of
our parents were Greek. I think she really wanted me
to go Kyo. I'm just now going to assume that
she cried when I went KKG instead. Maybe she did,
maybe she didn't. I get it that you're her daughter.
Speaker 5 (35:13):
But now I know it wasn't her being dramatic. It
was her being so worried that she wanted me to
have the experience that she had in college. She loved
Kyo at A and M. But you're so different. I'm
in Colorado, I'm not see you. But even so, now
she knows.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Even if you were at anim it's twenty plus years
later or something.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Yeah, so it was a little a little older, Christie.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
I love you, so find yourself. We love you.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
I just feel like that's a that's funny. I wouldn't
expect her to get emotional emotional about.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
In any sense that. Hmm.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Yeah, okay, Well she's proudly love y'all. Kara is growling
for some reason. That's my dog Kara, and we're going
to go take her out, and Adeline's going to go
get the groceries and we're just gonna have a nice
little time here with my new my new roomy, and
then we're gonna cook up the other three episodes that
we have for the remaining Thursdays. See you've got some
dating stories for y'all. Maybe maybe not some other ideas TVD,
(36:16):
but hope y'all are having the day that you need
to have. And Adeline and I will see you next Thursday.
See yea, bye bye
Cast up little food for yoursel.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Life.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty, but hey, it's pretty beautiful, man, beautiful.
That for a little more exciting, said he. You're kicking
with four with Amy Brown.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Happy Thursday, four Things Amy Here, and my guest today
is my niece Adeline, who just moved in with me
for the next eight weeks.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hi, adelin.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Hey, my sister Christy Christy Doser and her husband Been Doser.
They've come on the podcast before. Maybe you've heard them
on here or you watched their show Building Roots on
h G t V. Adeline was also a part of
that show, and she works at their coffee shop and
pagosas for Colorado Roothhouse, and she is on summer break
(01:03):
from University of Colorado in Boulder, YEP.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
And I don't know how this happened.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
How I got to an age where now I have
a job where I can provide an internship for my
niece that's in college.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
So what was the deal?
Speaker 3 (01:15):
You had to complete an internship And somehow thought of.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Me, Yeah, I'm a business major at CU.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
Being a business major, I have to have an internship
credit at some point, either this summer or next. My
dad had come in a Boulder for a weekend, and
we were listing all the different people I could reach
out to for an internship, and so there was a
list of like eight people, but you were top of
the list. And then I remember just texting you one
day because my aunt because my dad was like, send
her a professional email.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I was like, that just feels weird. So then I
just decided to text you.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I do see your dad's point on that, wanting to
teach you how to approach things in a professional manner,
So I can appreciate that. But I'm glad you reached out.
I'm glad it worked out, and Wila fast forward. Now
you're here for the next eight weeks. So a fun
thing adel and I are going to do for the
next four weeks. At least, I was looking at June.
This is the first Thursday of June. We've got four total,
(02:03):
so I thought, well, Adelin's going to be a guest
on the next four weeks. So every Thursday for four
things for the next four weeks. It's Adeline Doser as
a guest, and we're coming up with different topics. And
I'm really excited about today's topic because we're gonna be
talking about creating a home that is welcoming for me
right now, I want it to be welcome to teenage kids.
(02:26):
But depending on your season of life, it might be
neighbors that you have, a book club, community, your church community,
a girls' night, whatever you want it to look like,
to have an open home. If that is an environment
you want to create, you're gonna love this conversation because
my sister and her husband, they did a beautiful job
with their four children and therefore all four children's friends
(02:49):
feeling welcome.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
At their home.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
And so I had Adeline interview her mom for some things,
and then we're gonna get Adeline's perspective too, being a
teenager growing up in a home that was like that,
because I wouldn't say that's necessarily how Christy and I
grew up. Our dad loved to cook and host dinner parties,
and that's not really what we're talking about here, because
my sister does have the hospitality gene, and she's been
(03:12):
on the podcast before talking about that specifically, and I
do think she's an amazing cook and can entertain in
that way and throw a party. But this is just
everyday life.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
This is just your.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Home feeling like the hangout spot on any given random day,
with no real planning done, it just organically can happen,
and you're equipped to handle it because you've listened to
this podcast and you've taken notes, and then you're ready
to go. Because now that my kids are officially teenagers
and they're building these friendships, I want my home to
(03:49):
be this and I am now a single mom, and
so Ben and Christy have had that together, and I
think Ben and I, my Ben and my ex Ben
and I would have had that together, you know, and
he can do his thing at his house, But now
I have to decide what I'm going to do here,
and we're going to be moving into a new home soon,
and I feel like it's just an opportunity for a
fresh start. So I'm very pumped for this conversation to
(04:10):
hear what it was like for you, Adeline, and then
what tips you got from your mom for us to
create this space. And I know that one of your
mom's favorite songs is The High Women Crowded Table, and
I love that song. I encourage you to go listen
to it. Anybody listening. It's such a good song. I'd
play it for you now, But music isn't allowed on
(04:32):
podcasts and they would just flag me.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
So that's not going to happen.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
So Adelin start with your experience and then we'll get
into how to create the energy the vibe, different recipes,
food tips, tricks.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
And this isn't a money thing.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
This is not meant to stress anybody out in any
way and make you feel like, oh, how am I
going to do this? I can't do xyz. This is
really a mentality and I'm going to be making a
mental shift because I think I'm a little uptight.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
At times and I feel like the point that we'll
try and get across through this is that it's just
simplifying everything in your mind. If you feel uptight about
having people over and things, it's.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
About and that's what.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
Yes, it's just about connection and having an open house
and being okay with mess and the benefos of towels
you felt from that, No, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Being okay with mess.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Yeah, I know, I'm like people are coming over early,
but it's okay to have a lived in house. And
I know Christy can get that way too. Oh she
actually can get very fixated on that sort of thing.
But I have been very impressed how she has raised, y'all,
and the type of home she's decided to build, and
it's it's taken effort, but also not really that much
(05:42):
effort at all, because again it's a mindset.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
So what's your.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Experience with your mom and your dad and the way
they've chosen to have the hangspot.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
I'll start off with the first time I ever had
friends over. It was right when we moved to Colorado
after leaving Austin, and I was a freshman in high
school and I had never had a friend over, and
I was so nervous, and we were all outside playing
basketball and mom starts walking out with these trays of
cheese toast and she just had toast with a sliced
cheese baked in the oven, and she kept bringing out
(06:15):
trays of them and then my friends would just keep
eating them.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
And that was the first time I ever had friends over.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
And I remember my mom was like freaking out when
I would go inside and she'd be like, you guys
having fun, Like you need more cheese toast, And she
was so concerned about making sure that we were fed.
Anyone that comes over is just so loved by my parents.
I was talking to my mom yesterday about this, and
she said, I feel like one of the biggest things
is that, like I want to get to know the
(06:41):
friends that my kids are friends with, to know like
kinds of people that were hanging out with. And so
that's another thing where like instantly my mom and my
dad especially like would get to know my friends. And
that made me feel so comfortable being able to bring
people over because I knew that my parents one were
okay with it, and two even they would like make
(07:01):
the best of it and have a good time with
my friends and get to know them and invest in
their own lives. And Pegosa is a small town, but
the reality was that like a lot of my friends
didn't have good family homes. And it was the most
special thing to know that my friends would come and
stay the night at my house for nights in a
row because they felt like family at my home. And
there was always a seat at the table, And there's
(07:23):
always extra stools that we keep in our dining room
to drag up to the table. And we're a family
of six and it only fits six at the table,
but we'll find a way to add like three or
four more stools. There's all these little things none of
it is big. It's all the little things that make
my friends feel very loved. Well, like the extra stools. Yeah,
like there are these little metal stools that give everyone
(07:43):
a seat at the table. And going back to that song,
crowded table, Like, that's my mom's dream for any house
that we're in is that we will have a crowded table.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And that is what happens most every night.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
I've witnessed it and I've been a part of it,
and it does feel special and I love that. You know,
she wanted to make sure that y'all were good, but
it's not like she was going over the top with
this crazy stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
And of course I'm sure there's times where she's done.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Cheese trays and fruit trays and whatnot just to have
some other options. But it's as simple as bread on
a pan with a slice of cheese in the oven
at three fifty for a few minutes and then taking
trays out and making sure kids know like, hey, I
see you, I'm here for you. That speaks to kids
in a way. You felt that you still remember it,
and that was in Nicevill.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I'll never forget it.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
It's because I was so nervous and like bringing out towels,
like we're when we're all sitting outside, she would bring
out towels, basically inviting us, like, yes, get in our
hot tup, like get in the river and make a mess,
and here's some towels for when you guys get out.
It's just like she always set us up to know
that we are invited to indulge in everything in the house.
She would just set us up to like have fun
(08:49):
in those ways and always made me and my brothers,
I know, feel us too, feel allowed to have fun.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
All right, I kind of want to talk about the
Taco bell motto here for a second, because your great
grandma and grandpa owned taco bells, and then your grandpa
ended up running a lot of them, to which my
mom was then his assistant, so she worked at Taco
Bell for twenty five years. And then my ex husband's
dad also worked.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
There in the office.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I mean the tangled webs we weave because then my
dad ended up dating your great grandmother, so your grandpa
was dating you know.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, it gets complicated.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
So see, we really welcome everybody, everybody everyone everyone is
welcome MOUs. But a taco bell saying was serving on
both sides of the counter. And even my mom her
work email, she would sign off like her signature on
her email was here to serve. I know, a big
(09:49):
motto within at least that franchise group. So Taco Bell
is a franchise in our family. That was a franchise
that was based in Austin, and they would all go
to the office every day, and that was a company
that cultivated a lot of connection and community and love
and service. And I know that your mom talks about
(10:10):
serving both sides of the counter and that if there
are a group of people coming over, everybody kind of
jumps in and serves. She's not also just serving y'all
all over, Like y'all come and are part of it too.
I'm picturing like the island table, like everybody's just doing
their part. Like say, if it does turn into more
of a sit down dinner, it's like everybody is welcome
(10:33):
to start pitching in and serving each other.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Yeah, that was one thing that we always did. We
would always set timers and do pus, which is a
pickup session, and so we do like seven minute pus.
And it was something where my friends, especially my best
friends who were over all the time in high school,
and my brother's friends do the exact same thing. You'll
find the teenage boys around the kitchen cleaning up after
dinner because they know if they're coming over that they're
(10:57):
probably going to get fed a really good meal and
every single time, whether it's like sausage on the fire
or a really nice like pork tacos, anything, but they
always know if they're gonna come eat, Like we're all
mutually gonna help my mom clean up because she does
so much for us, and it was something that was
expected that as my parents are serving us, we will
(11:18):
serve them back. And it was something I remember at
first feeling nervous, like, oh, I don't want to make
my friends have to help clean up in the kitchen,
But then it just became this fun thing like turn
on music, set a time, or see how fast you
can get it done. That was a way where we
kind of created mutual like, Okay, I'm allowed to have
people over if we're gonna serve on both ends of this,
(11:38):
like we'll serve my family and then my mom and
dad they'll serve us in probably so many more ways
than me and my friends would serve.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Them, but still it's a little mutual exchange. Now.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I love that that expectation was set up, and you know,
it's just something that's been in their family and they knew, hey,
this is how we're going to do it. And I
think that it takes the pressure off too some parents
they are maybe wanting to create the space and they
feel like they have to burn themselves out to serve
their kids. And really it invites it to be like,
(12:09):
this is an experience for all of us, and then
it welcomes even more people to come because it makes
it less stressful. And I know that your parents were
good at Okay, if somebody needs a ride and they
want to come, we'll go pick them up, or we
can give them a ride home, or making sure people
can carpool, and just being that type of family. And
I'll admit sometimes I don't like I'll just have certain
(12:32):
things going on and I don't pause to think, Okay,
if I just go create this space for my kids
by allowing them to get somewhere or have others come
over here, they're going to remember me pausing life to
do that. I really think that even listening to you talk,
I feel as though they absolutely will remember if for
(12:52):
whatever reason, one of their friends couldn't make it, and
I could pause and figure out how to get someone over.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
And it means a lot more to them than show.
Then they'll show in the time being. But then those
are all the things that now, being three years out
of the house, I still remember all the little things
my parents would do well.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
And then at the coffee shop, well, Root Design is
the design build firm. Then there's the coffee shop, Root
House Coffee, but there's hats and cups, there's a logo,
a theme of root for each other. Do you think
that that's been a big part of your friend's experience
when they're over? Did they feel rooted for? Root Design
(13:40):
is the design build firm. Then there's the coffee shop,
Root House Coffee, but there's hats and cups, there's a logo,
a theme of root for each other. Do you think
that that's been a big part of your friend's experience
when they're over? Did they feel rooted for?
Speaker 5 (13:56):
Yeah, because I'd watched my dad like specifically just go
and hang out with my friends without me even being
there and talk about life. And my dad was someone
who he genuinely knew the core things going on in
my friends' lives and he cares about it and that
means the world to me, and in turn, like my
(14:16):
friends feel rooted for, and then they root for my family.
We had all of my friends working at the coffee
shop at one point. That was the best thing ever
in high school. But yeah, just like mutually all rooting
for each other, and that kind of starts at the
house when people are over and they feel seen and
taken care of, and my mom and dad just have
(14:36):
such a welcoming spirit.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
It's hard.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
It's hard for my friends not to feel rooted for
when they're over at our house, which makes me just
so grateful for my parents and everything they do.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I mean, watching you talk, they're going to love this episode.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Well.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I truly am encouraged because I could be better at that,
and I need to be more intentional about asking more
questions and trying to get to know the kids well
that my kids are hanging out with and said just
letting them go off and do their thing, and that
they're probably not going to be as annoyed as I
would think. I don't really allow kids just hanging out
in their room with the door shut. It's not because
(15:12):
I'm trying to create a vibe. It's just a rule
that Ben and I set of, like, Hey, you're going
to hang out out in common areas because we don't
want y'all just hold up in your room on your phones.
But Sashira had some girlfriends over the last day of school,
which I thought was really awesome, and it sort of
gave me the itch for how I want my home
to be this summer. Because then Stevenson had a friend
over at the same time, so there was three teenage
(15:33):
girls and two teenage boys total, so had five kids
kind of running around the house. And the girls decided
to bake a cake, and I was like, be breezy.
I'd already cleaned the kitchen, everything was put away, and
it was almost midnight, and they busted out all the
cake stuff, and.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I thought, Okay, be cool, be cool, chill, chill, it's
all good. This is also final day of school.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And I was definitely not at home when I was
seventeen on my last day of school, I was out
at s part.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Yeah, so I think, goodness, they were baking a cake
at midnight at your house.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I know.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I was as opposed to so many other things I'm
all for it.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Well, they had just gotten their yearbook on the last
day of school, and she got out her polaroid, which
I thought was fun, and they were taking pictures of
pictures of the yearbooks so that way they didn't have
to cut up the yearbook, you know. And then they
cut up the pictures and put them on toothpicks, and
then they were going to decorate the cake with the
cute boys or whatever, and so then we're talking about, well, they.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Took pictures of the boys, you like, cute boys, and
cut their heads out, put them on toothpicks, and then
when the cake was all decorated, they put the toothpicks
in the cake.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
And I thought, all, this is fun, you know, like
I remember.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Thinking obviously all the cute boys at school that you
were attracted to, and of course they all had different taste,
which I loved.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
And then come to find out, I'm like, so what
is this? Is this a thing?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
And they're like, yeah, Mom, it's just a cake. It
was a thing on TikTok maybe like last year or whatever.
And I said, well, does it have a name, like
it's a trend?
Speaker 4 (16:58):
Was it viral?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
What's it called?
Speaker 3 (17:00):
And they're like, it's called a smash cake, but that's
not what we call it. And I thought, what because
I mean, think about it, get it okay, I don't
want to go any further with it because my jaw
dropped it. But then also remember, be cool. I'm cool
because that's what she call it. They just called it
a cake with the boys with boys on toothpicks.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Like they're like, mom, that's not what it's really about.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
We just thought it'd be fun to make, and so
I didn't get all uptight about that.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
We had a good time.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Well, then the boys come down and one of the boys,
well there was only one boy, Stevenson's friend. Stevenson's friend
comes down and starts looking at the cake and he's like,
that's my brother. And he was like freaking out that
his brother was on the cake, and he was screw
you know, he's like thirteen or whatever, and he's screaming like,
(17:50):
take my brother off.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
The cake, like why are y'all looking?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Why a y'all looking at my brother? Like this is weird.
Now I'm gonna have to eat a cake with my brother.
And of course I don't even know if they know
what's mash cake means, but it just has this fun
little thing. And I share that story as a reminder
about little things that we can get uptied about, where
then we lose the moment, because I think I could
have gotten all wrapped up in the fact that that's
(18:15):
a viral type cake from TikTok a year ago that
has a name that I think is not appropriate, or
I can know this is an innocent thing they're doing
right now.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
They think it's fun.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Maybe it leads to conversation later about something else down
the line, but now this is not the moment for that.
I should let them bake the cake, do the cake,
decorate the cake, eat the cake, and have a good
time at midnight.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
And then they all went.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
And jumped in the pool and had music loud, and
I did have to go out and be like, hey,
our neighbors are really close and it's midnight, so dial
it back a little bit. But I still let them
just do their thing. And I think that as parents,
sometimes we need to look at the bigger picture. And
when you do that and you can step back, then
(19:00):
you won't get us wrapped around the axle on stuff
that doesn't really matter in the long run. I think
Stasher will look back and always remember baking that cake
with her friends because of all the different things that happened,
including Stevenson's friend coming down and being like, that's my brother.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
It's so awesome that on the last day of school
they were over at your house making a cake. There
were things like that that happened in high school where
my mom would be like, really, really, you're not doing that,
but then it just be something we laugh off and
then maybe we talk about it later, but it was
happening either way, and so it was a matter of
just mom like embracing it in a sense or shutting
(19:39):
it down.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
What shouldn't often do?
Speaker 5 (19:41):
I mean, that's a minor circumstance, but right, I.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Mean, obviously when there needs to be in things you yes,
parents interview we're talking about, just like, okay, you can
overlook and not get up tied about and ruin a
moment like I could ruin a moment, and then that
makes her friends be like, I don't really want to
hang out over there anymore. And then suddenly you're not
the hang house anymore. And my mom's house was not
(20:05):
the hang house at all.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Again.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
My dad I mentioned that he liked to hook and
have people over, and that's what we're talking about. But
my dad had no rules, so I'm also not saying that.
And I actually get frustrated with my dad now that
I'm a grown adult and I have teenage kids, and
I'm like, used to let me have parties all the time,
And that's not what we're talking about here either. It's
talking about creating a safe space. Now, of course, did
(20:28):
I think it was cool my dad would let me
have parties with boys and girls and drinking like it
was not okay, Like things that my dad allowed looking back,
just totally not okay. But I think he was trying
to be cool. And then I but I question, now,
did you even love me? And of course I know
he loved me. He just didn't have certain boundaries that
I now wish he would have had. And so really
(20:50):
we're talking about a space that is fun, welcoming, but
also a safe environment because oftentimes those parties at my
dad's house, that's not safe. And I know kind of
detouring there, but I just want to make sure we're
being clear on the type of home you want to
have and the type of home your parents had. It's
not like it was just teenagers there all the time,
(21:10):
free for all. It was like real blonding fun like
quality stuff like games, sitting around the campfire with a guitar,
doing s'mores, playing certain things. Again, not anything that really
costs much, but it's just togetherness and being creative.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
And I will say our house was never a party
house in high school.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
My dad would never have let that happen.
Speaker 5 (21:34):
But because there were those rules that I was never
going to be a house where we could like host
parties where there would be things that are not okay, Like,
we were never that house. And because of that, it
invited so much more genuine connection in a sense. And
I would not say this in high school, but looking back,
like I'm still so close to the friends I have
had in high school, and a lot of that is
(21:56):
because they were always at our house. And our house
wasn't a place where you were going to go out
and go do dumb things. It was a place where
you were gonna sit by the fire and play the
guitar and play cornhole and actually have real conversations and
all eat dinner at a table or breakfast or breakfast
sleepovers every night, all the things that are way more
genuine and created way deeper friendships in my life because
(22:19):
we weren't the party house.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I'm glad we like because of five that.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yeah, and the expectations, yeah, that were set, which you've
talked about. Your mom always had like the different snack
things and that kids are gonna come over and they
were gonna get fed. I feel like, again, my dad
was really really good at that, like having all the
food and a lot of growing boys. And I know
that a lot of times that's not always an option
for everybody to be feeding tons of people. But I know, Chris,
(22:47):
you would do just like things in the crock pot
that you could easily shred and then like taco bars,
baked potato bars.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
But to kids, that's a good meal.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
It was awesome. Yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Yeah, back to the not overthinking it type thing and
then snacks of course, and maybe certain types of drinks
if your friends like that. But I'm just kind of
think of my summer list of like what I'm going
to do, and I'm going to plan ahead, and I
want to invest in that. So instead of maybe even
spending money on some other things I was thinking about, well,
(23:17):
I'm actually going to invest in keeping certain things stocked
and making sure that I've got all the things.
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Like even the cornhole.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
That's a one time investment that you get a lot
of use out of and you just sit it outside.
And then the kids start having tournaments and have you
all started playing poetry for Neanderthals.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Me and Mom text like that all the time.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Therapy Cat and I talk about it.
Speaker 5 (23:39):
Well, I first heard about it on that episode. Yeah,
that's when I first heard it. And then Mom said
she had ordered it and I was like, I just
listened to that podcast this morning.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Well, I definitely encourage people to check it out.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
But it's one syllable words to describe something in a game,
and then if you end up not doing it, there's
this blow up little bat thingy you get.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Hit hit and it's so fun.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
But there's charades and with a big group of people
that's so fun. There's revers charades, there's pictionary. Don't use
the pictionary drawing board that comes in the little pictionary box, Like,
go get an office Max or Staples or wherever and
get a white board and get some dry erase markers
and set up a big pictionary board.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
We were doing that last summer with the kids.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
In this video that I made of Stevenson, he was
drawing something.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I mean, Adeline off to show you the video.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
He was so proud of his work and he was
so frustrated that we were not getting it. And if
we were guessing all kinds of things. Ben and I
we were separated at this time, or maybe even like
getting divorce, I don't know, but we were all still
having a family meal around the table with some friends
that came over because that was important to us, and
we set it up and we were yelling out things
(24:50):
and then all of a sudden, the timer's up and
we were like, well, what is it? And he looked
at us so defeated, and he was like, it's a
blueberry muffin. Like there's no way we were ever gonna
get it.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
But that's it.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
That's something that everybody at that table that night, even
a year later, if I were to say blueberry muffin, like,
they're gonna think of Stevenson drawing it, Yeah, and they're
going to smile and giggle. And so it just makes
me think of those funny moments that you just create
and have and that becomes special and you don't ever
forget them. I'm even thinking of just like having fresh
(25:24):
baked cookies and desserts around all the time. When Ben
and I were in the adoption process, we were doing
our home study. So they come and they check out
your home, and you do all this training to be
welcoming parents to kids that are coming into your home
that likely have trauma, they've been separated from their birth parents,
(25:44):
especially depending on the age. And our kids were older.
When Sashia got here, she was eleven and stephensonmm's seven.
And I remember during the training talking about how when
kids are coming, we never know. Certain smells can be
a thing and it could actually be a negative. But
they were encouraged that cookies baking in the oven is
oftentimes a comforting sell.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
Oh yeah, and it doesn't even need to be like
homemade cookies. Mom always has one of those tubs, the
Nestle toll house cookie dough like the big tubs.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Is it Nesl or Nestlie Oh, I don't know, I
say Nessle.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Friends where Phoebe she has her famous cookie recipe.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
She says it's in her family Nestle toll.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
House or something like that, and it's like nestleye toll House,
so Christy or your mom has the Nestley toll House,
big bucket of cookies.
Speaker 5 (26:35):
Yes, always okay, and then we would always like late
at night, just throw them in the oven and it's
so easy, see simple, and it smells like the house.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Easy stuff.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
And again, if you're not hosting teenagers, which if if
you don't have any teenagers in your life, I.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Don't know how you're still listening to this.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
You probably gave up a while ago, because we definitely
went down that rabbit hole for parents. But I think
if you're hosting girls night, or hosting book club, or
trying to create something, what are things you can easily
keep in your freezer that after a long day at work,
if you're hosting it on a Tuesday night, you can
come home and easily like pop some stuff in the oven,
(27:12):
get out a bottle of wine, or make some sangria,
or throw together some easy margarita stuff, or maybe there's
no alcohol, Just like, what little ways can you plan
ahead to make it easy on yourself to have people over.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
But again, release the pressure. But I get it. If
you're hosting book club, you want to have some things out.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
You want a nice cheese board, and you can just
be prepared, get ahead if you have a Trader Joe's
where you live. There's so many easy cheeses there that
are under ten dollars or five dollars or less, because
I know cheese can get up there in price.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I mentioned Friends a minute ago. Do you watch that?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I mentioned Friends a minute ago? Do you watch that
at all? Like your generation? Okay, I watched all of it.
I didn't know how it aged because it was out
ninety five to two thousand and five, and Stashira recently
watched it all and she likes it.
Speaker 5 (28:14):
It aged well because it's something that all of my
friends have seen at one point or another.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Yeah, it's so good. It's so good. It's one of
my comfort shows. Like I'll go back and just watch
that to feel comfort. I know what to expect. I
know I'm going to enjoy it, and we like that.
I think there's been studies done that talk about how
we crave that familiarity in either a movie or a
TV show. Do you have a TV show or a
(28:39):
movie that gives you that?
Speaker 5 (28:40):
I mean, probably Grayson Frankie. My first TV show I
remember loving was good Look Charlie did you.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Ever watch that? I don't know what that is.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
I bet steven senterstash Shira. They must have seen it.
It's like on Disney channels.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
But would you watch it now?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah? For comfort?
Speaker 5 (28:53):
Yeah, but now for comfort, I would watch I would
watch like The Office or Friends, but I like friends
more than the office.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
The office.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
H well too, Well, thank you so much for talking
about how to create a crowded table. I'm so thankful
for this opportunity that you gave us by reaching out.
So thank you for thinking of me for the internship.
And speaking of gratitude, do you have four things that
you are thankful for today? Which this is another thing
(29:23):
you can do around the crowded table is everybody can
go around and do high lows. Everybody can go around
and share one thing they're thankful for. But this is
the four Things podcast, so I have my guests share
four things. So, Adamlyn, what are four things you're thankful
for today?
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Well, the first thing on my mind is I'm just
thankful about I'm finally here in Nashville and with you,
and I mean this is like day two of me
being here for the.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Next eight weeks.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
So I'm grateful I made it here, and that I
get to spend so much time with you, because we
never get to spend a lot of time together. It's
usually only just like christ Day two, I mean Christmas
and maybe once in the summer.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
That's it. Yeah, So I'm excited for that.
Speaker 5 (29:59):
And I'm grateful for a trail like a lake trail
that you have nearby. And I walked it today and
I ran it yesterday, and I like being out in nature.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
That's why I like Colorado so much, so I like
having that here.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
On that note, I'm marathon training and I'm grateful that
I love to run in that I've enjoyed the training
because I know most people hate it and I probably
will once I have to run really far.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, you did just start the training. I just I'm
doing like six three to six miles of.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
The Fundel right now.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
It's fun.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Adeline's twenty one and she's about to run her first marathon.
And I ran my first marathon in college when I
was around twenty twenty one, and I was telling Adeline,
I'm so excited for her, but also it ruined my
college life a little bit.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
So don't let that happen.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
If you feel like you're going to be hurt or
if your body is telling you let it go, let
it go. Because I should have listened. I didn't let
it go. I was so determined. I mean, my mom
and my boyfriend were meeting me like every you know,
four or five miles to cheer me on and giving
me more ibuprofen or a leave or whatever they were
giving me like anti inflammatories because I was in so
(31:10):
much pain.
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Well, and then weren't you and you were so miserable
after your boyfriend, Yeah, he broke up with me, broke.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Up with what was miserable for like six weeks ago. Okay,
that's like horror. That is horror. Marathon experience like that
does not usually happen.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
But I didn't listen to my body.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I should have.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
There's no way I should have ever even done it.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Even the last few weeks of training, I did water jogging,
which is where you put a little harness on and
you get in the pool and you just mimic you
do your legs like you're jogging in the water and
you're held up by your little harness. You're just floating there.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
And where did you have one of those? Well?
Speaker 3 (31:42):
I trained with a group at Texas A and M's.
We had a training group and our coach would lead
water jogging training too. For anyone that was injured and stupid,
then it's like, you're injured, but come do water jogging.
It actually was a way to exercise the muscles in
the exact same way, but without any injury, without the
impact correct, yeah, like without adding further pressure or pain
(32:05):
or injury to your knees or your feet or whatever,
your hips, whatever was feeling it at the time. So
that way you could still get the movement and your
muscles would respond and react to like, oh, I can
go this far, because we would water jog for however
many miles we needed to jog the water jog that day.
(32:25):
So good luck with that, thinks, don't be like me.
I'm sure you and your boyfriend will survive this, no problem.
So what else are you thankful for? That's the marathon's
third thing. What's the fourth thing?
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Well, I think, just to wrap up with the episode,
I'm thankful for my parents and that I got to
reap the benefits of everything that they they did for
me when I was at the house and still what
they do when I come home it's just the best
place to come home too. So I'm thankful for them,
and I know they're going to listen to this and
they're gonna eat this up. But they are the best,
and that would be my fourth thing.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
My hope is that they'll look at each other hey,
then hey, Christy and high five, because they truly have
done an amazing job with all of y'all, and you're
the first one to be an official adult, and I
think that's when it really starts to show, like the
fruit of their labor and the investment that they made
(33:18):
in y'all and how they wanted to show up for you.
I know, I see it in Gunner and Creed in
South two, but with you being an official adult now
and I got to hang out with you some in
Austin a few weeks ago when we went out with
Jelly Roll and oh yeah, you were finally twsted whatever
and you took a shot with Jelly Roll and that
was fun to witness, But also seeing you be a
(33:39):
responsible twenty one year olds, like, of course you're experiencing
college life, you're having fun. But my view on you
is you seem very grounded. I don't want to project
that on you. If you feel like you're not that
that's actually a good thing. I'm not projecting anything bad,
but I hope you feel that. I hope you feel.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Grounded, because that's but you give out.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
And if that's not exactly what you feel, I hope
you get there because you're You certainly helped me feel
more grounded.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Sometimes I'm like, oh, I wish I.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Could go back and do college the way you're doing it,
or live life the way you're living it.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Y'all go camping, you make experiences.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
You're not just living the typical college a swarty girl life,
even though you are in a security shout out. Except
for I was so I was a Kappa Kappa Gamma
and Christy was a Kyomega.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And then yeah, mom, Mom cried. Mom cried on mid day.
Speaker 5 (34:34):
She did why she did when I facetimed her when
I was Chris I became a DG.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
It was mid day.
Speaker 5 (34:40):
She cried, She's had sent me the Kio symphonies. The
I mean, that's a whole other story, but it was ridiculous.
And then Dad texts me and he was like, thanks, Adeline.
Now it's the great depression around here. But he said
does exact work.
Speaker 4 (34:53):
Okay, but the reason is not a big day. It's yes, a,
it's not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
And then b let's establish that it was not a
big deal in our family at all. Neither one of
our parents were Greek. I think she really wanted me
to go Kyo. I'm just now going to assume that
she cried when I went KKG instead. Maybe she did,
maybe she didn't. I get it that you're her daughter.
Speaker 5 (35:13):
But now I know it wasn't her being dramatic. It
was her being so worried that she wanted me to
have the experience that she had in college. She loved
Kyo at A and M. But you're so different. I'm
in Colorado, I'm not see you. But even so, now
she knows.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Even if you were at anim it's twenty plus years
later or something.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Yeah, so it was a little a little older, Christie.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
I love you, so find yourself. We love you.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
I just feel like that's a that's funny. I wouldn't
expect her to get emotional emotional about.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
In any sense that. Hmm.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Yeah, okay, Well she's proudly love y'all. Kara is growling
for some reason. That's my dog Kara, and we're going
to go take her out, and Adeline's going to go
get the groceries and we're just gonna have a nice
little time here with my new my new roomy, and
then we're gonna cook up the other three episodes that
we have for the remaining Thursdays. See you've got some
dating stories for y'all. Maybe maybe not some other ideas TVD,
(36:16):
but hope y'all are having the day that you need
to have. And Adeline and I will see you next Thursday.
See yea, bye bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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