January 28, 2025 • 46 mins
Amy kicks things off with the ‘First Stall Theory’—something to keep in mind next time you’re in a public restroom and then Kat shares a quote from Adam Grant about making major life decisions based on values rather than fleeting emotions.
Other highlights include a listener update from Taylor, Kate Winslet’s wise advice on aging (don’t forget the back of your hands!), an update on Amy’s face fitness journey, book recommendations (Fourth Wing, November 9th, and Daisy Darker), and an impromptu chat about Ryan Reynolds mentally spiraling.
Call us: 877-207-2077
Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Vanburen // @KatVanburen // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and I'm going to start off with a
story about the first stall theory, because before Kat and
I started recording, when we sat down, I was like,
I have you ever heard of the first doll theory?
And you said you had not. Well, I'm listening to
a book on Audible called November ninth. Heard of it? No,
(00:24):
it's a Calling Hoover book. It's oh, it's like a story, okay, yeah,
And the main character talks about how she always uses
the first stall in the bathroom because she read that
it's the least used by people, which equals less germs.
So obviously I decided to google if this is fiction
like the book or actually a real study, and it
looks like it's legit. I found an entire article about
(00:47):
this called which doll is the cleanest? And according to studies,
the middle stalls are to be avoided if possible. Apparently,
people tend to choose the middle one because it's in
the middle and they like to be in the middle preference.
They're like, Okay, I'm not going to go in the
first one. I don't want to go in the last
one's just preference is that they go in the middle.
(01:07):
On the other hand, the first doll, which is the
least used, is likely to be the cleanest because less
people have been in there. Most people avoid the first doll.
And so today you know what I did. I was
at the doctor. Guess which doll I went into?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
The first?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
That's right, I went twice. I went before my appointment
first all, and then after my appointment. Guess why I
had to go in the first one. The other two
were occupied. I had no choice. But that means they
bypassed the first one. Probably for the centrality preference.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Well is that what It's called centrality preference? So you
make that up, that's what that says.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I tried to avoid saying the word at the beginning,
and I was like, just because people prefer the middle.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Stall, but I'm trying to imagine what I do. But
I feel like I do go in the middle.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Probably we can also centuality preference.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
But if there's like I was trying to use the
argument that if I don't want to use the first
because I don't want people to like be able to
like see me or something. But that's only if there's
a line and then you just use the stall that's open.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
That's true, But I mean, I'm just saying, if you
have a choice, yeah, and every stall the world is
your oyster, which one are you gonna choose? And now
you're gonna probably choose the first stall because I said this,
and the main character in the book that I'm listening
to said it, and then I googled it and here
we are. Now we're talking about the first all theory
and it's the whole thing interesting. But I mean, don't
(02:28):
hold me to it if you actually, like do some tests.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But that I think applies to all public places and
things like I'm thinking you go into a restaurant, you
don't sit at the first table. I'm gonna walk past
that one and go to the next one, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Like if you haven't a choice. See if I have
a choice, yeah, yeaheah, Well I don't want to sit
by the door because it's drafty. Yeah, so I don't
know that it's like a cleanliness thing.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
But where you want to be in the middle where
all the action is. But that's not really what I
want to do in the bathroom, true.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You know what they call that though? Wanting to be
in the middle.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Centrality preference. Preference.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Cool, that's our new word of the day. We have
to work into conversation. Centrality preference.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
We forgot about the word of the day.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I know it's been a minute. Well we just brought
it back.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, just now, centrality preference in.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
A very very organic way. Yeah, which that's normally not
how we begin the show. We always begin with a quote.
But since we were talking about first all theory, I
wanted to make sure we touch on it in case
anybody is listening to us right now and they are
literally walking into a public bathroom.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
You're welcome, and would you recommend somebody waiting for the
first all to open up? If?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Well, I can't do that because by the time I
make it to the bathroom, I'm already on the verge
of pee my pants.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Do you wait to go? Yes? I do that too,
And I don't know why I hate getting up and
going to the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, I needed to go before So I left work
today to go to the doctor's appointment, and I needed
to go before I left work. Yeah, I should have
gone before I left work, because then I got to
the doctor's woman, I'm on the elevator and I have
to like squat down like I'm getting something out of
my bag because I am like, I think I'm gonna
be in my pants. And if I squat down and
pretend like I'm in my bag, at least I'll delay it.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
You know.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
It just felt like I could like hold it and
then someone yes, because someone was, someone was getting on
the elevator and I'm like, I can't do a pee
dance or hold it in any way. So i put
my bag down on the elevator and I'm like, oh,
I'm going to dig in my bag right now and
act like I'm getting something because I have to be.
(04:31):
So I just got lucky that the first stall was available.
But also even if I wanted to go to the
middle stall, I don't think I would have made it
like I had to just run to that bathroom pee
and then I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Know what that is. I wonder if that's a thing
around a lot of women. I find it such an
inconvenience to have to go to the bathroom. But it
is really bad for you to hold it that long.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yes, it's terrible for you.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Maybe we work on that.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I know I need to rewire my pee area. I
mean you can rewire your b but you know.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You can strengthen the muscles.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That's okay, Well I.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Need to do that. You're p area.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Okay, Well I have a quote. Yeah, we got We're
gonna get to the quote.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Okay, So this comes from Adam Grant, who he's a
I'm pretty sure he's a psychologist, but he does a
lot of leadership.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Have you read.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah, of course he's great.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
We've quoted him before, or at least I have for
sure on the.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Fourties BFF, I feel like with Brene Brown, so anybody
she hangs out with I trust. But the quote is
major life decisions shouldn't be based on short term emotions.
They should be guided by long term values. Feelings are
better mirrors than maps. They reflect your present states, but
they don't come with future directions. Don't let today's mood
(05:42):
drive who you become tomorrow. I love that part. Feelings
are a better mirror than maps.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yes, that's what I was gonna say back, but then
I couldn't remember all these words. I was like, oh,
I like that, remember it, remember it? And then I couldn't.
So feelings are better mirrors than maps, is what it is.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
So not letting them tell you what you need to
do in that moment.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
But sometimes you know what's going on in the I
know that this is the right thing to do when
I hear you. But sometimes just making decisions when you're
all emotional just feels like the right thing to do. Yeah,
but then later that's what you learned. What was it
the best decision?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah? So Adam Grant. Look, he has a lot of
good stuff on his Instagram page two, so if you
don't follow him.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, he's really good. And you know you said that
him being bff with Brenee Brown just makes you trust
him more. It's funny to say that because I had
a phone call the other day with a woman have
no idea what she looks like.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I thought you were going to say with Brene Brown,
and I was going to say, how did you hold
this in? Sorry about that?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Okay, it was with a woman that sounds like Renee Brown,
Like she give me a Brene Brown impersonator on the phone. Really,
so it's basically like I talked to Brene.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I was picturing Brene the entire phone call, and I
thought for sure when we got off that this woman
was gonna be like oh, I've heard this a million
times because I said, hey, before we hang up, I
just have to tell you, has anybody ever told you
that you sound exactly like Brene Brown? And she said,
oh my gosh, I'm a huge Brene fan. So I
(07:12):
take that as such a huge compliment. But no, nobody's
ever told me that. And it's what, like, what do
they not have ears? Because she works in the therapy space,
so I know people she's talking to no Brene, yeah,
or have listened to Brene or seen Brene's stuff. Like,
It's not like I was talking to someone that has
(07:33):
never heard of Brene Brown. So I'm like, how am
I hearing this? And nobody else has said this to her?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Did you have Brene on the brain?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
No, okay.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
But my point in telling you this is I trusted
her more because she sounded like Brene.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
You must be related to her.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But everything she was saying, I'm like, mm, yeah, yeah,
you're legitb.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Well, Brene has a very calming and strong presence in
her voice.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, which I'll make it strong is difficult, Yes, this
woman has it wow. Confidence but comfort Yeah, like there
was a lot of that. I mean, we're having to
talk about some difficult things, and I just felt seen
and I felt and I'm like, oh yeah, sign me up.
Whatever it is you got going on, I would ever
sign me up because you're basically Brene Brown. And she
(08:27):
said no one has ever told her that. But I
wonder how subconsciously sometimes if someone just a has a
relationship with someone that we trust, that we automatically give
them more credit than we should. Or they look or
sound like something familiar in our life that was safe,
so we give them more trust than we should.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
That makes sense. If you have a friend that you trust,
then I am gonna be more apt to trust that person.
That makes sense. But just because they look like somebody,
we should still have some thought around that and not
automatically give them. But I guess the relation.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Let me throw this curveball at you. So I saw
a picture of my college boyfriend of what he looks
like now kind of so we're in our docketies. No,
I came across a picture.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
It was.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
He's with someone that is related to someone that I
know now, so I think on Instagram, I just come
across because he doesn't have socials or anything. But I
saw a picture and I thought oh, so I know
what he looks like. I don't know if y'all can
hear my cat mewing. But at the box, I put
a big box in my room because I think it's
so cute how she gets into boxes, and it's so cute.
(09:38):
It's like her own little home. It's just a cardboard box.
It's almost like you buy it. Like with kids, you
spend money on expensive toys and then you're like, oh wait,
they just want to pot in a pan or a
cardboard box, and with cats, it's like, okay, here's a box.
So back to this weird realization. So I see a
(10:00):
picture of him kind of recently, of what he's looking
like in his forties, and then, you know, my boyfriend
were at his house and I see a picture of
him from ten years ago, which would be the age
of my college boyfriend now, and I was like, is
that You know, obviously it's Tim, but I'm like, you know,
(10:22):
it's really weird about that. And I just said this
out loud. I was like, you look just like my
college boyfriend in this picture. Like, y'all, they look like
they could be brothers, really, which is really interesting. So
I thought i'd just share that, but not in that
I'm dating him because you know, but I wonder if
(10:42):
there was something familiar about him.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Well, I think that's something to say that you're attracted
to the same type of people, like looking even like
looks wise like people go for similar things over and
over again, so that makes sense. Does he look like him?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Now? My sister even said that at one point, she
was like, he's kind of giving you know who vibes,
And I was like, I know, right, so I have
a type, but I don't really have a type because
I've been all over that is true.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
You don't really have a type.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Even in college. I really don't have a type. It's
just interesting and weird. There's nothing related to any of this,
and it's not some weird thing of like that's why
I'm dating him at all. It just was one of
those moments of like, huh, I wonder if subconsciously, because
I know I'm not really I adore him for all
kinds of reasons, but anyway, I'm just gonna share that tidbit.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
And then I was related and you didn't know.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
No, I already thought through that, okay, because it's so
failtacky that I was like, so you don't have any
family in this part of the country, do you, or
this part? Because I mean, I know a lot of
his family history. And I said, it's just so weird
how much y'all look alike. And he was real confident.
He was like, it wasn't He was like, why are
(11:59):
you bringing up your college boyfriend? Which thank goodness because
he's very mature. But it wasn't like a thing. I
like the freedom to just be able to say whatever.
I bet that there are some men that if a
girl were to make a comment like that, they wouldn't
be able to handle it.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
So shout out, just blurting things. So I've been saying
more of what just co comes to my mind. No,
just in general everywhere, things that come to my mind.
I just say it.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Has that gotten you in any trouble?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
No? Okay, thank goodness, We've been having pretty good thoughts.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
But that is even your are Do you feel more
comfortable with who you are in general around where you're
not second guessing yourself? And is it you blurting things
out or you just feel more freedom to be yourself?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I don't know. I literally today we were recording stuff
for the Bobby Bone Show, and I said out loud,
like a conversation I was having in my head because
I stopped doing something, and then I was like, oh no,
go ahead do that, and then I go, okay, I will.
I said all of that out loud. I said all
(13:01):
of it out loud. Everyone in the room was like,
what just happened? And I was like, sorry, welcome to
my brain. But I don't know if it's me being
on my medication and I'm just feeling good.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Usually that happens when people are like under the influencer
or something where they're like responding to themselves.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Versus you're like very sober, okay, I will No. I
was like, okay, go ahead, okay. I well, like I
was picturing what Bobby would say to me, would just
be like okay, go ahead, and me being like okay.
But I said both things not loud. It was the
(13:43):
weirdest saying all.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
The voices in your head are integrating.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, or I was like, is this the beginning of
like the downfall? Oh? No, I start just saying everything
because that's what I did. When I saw the photo
in his house, I was like, gosh, is that you
because you look just like my college boyfriend. That's weird.
They could be related. You weren't talking to yourself to that, No, no, no,
(14:08):
but I mean I probably would have liked just help
up on that. So anyway, I didn't mean to talk
about that at all. I do love that quote, So
thank you. We'll go from bringing that to us who
said it at Adam Brant.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
That's how we got to Brown, which is how we
got to your college boyfriend. That's right.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I just want to make sure I do have an
email from a listener that is an update. We've been
getting so many updates lately from listeners and I love
I think that they're hearing other people give updates and
it's encouraging them, Like, oh, mission, I emailed something two three, four,
(14:47):
five years ago. I'm gonna send an update, So I'm
going to read this now. It is from Taylor in
Virginia Beach and she attached a picture and she said
she did a little ps at bottom. I'm attaching a
photo because I feel like if I was getting a
listener email, i'd love to see them. And I was like, yeah,
you're right. So it's a cute little family photo. Hey, Amy,
(15:08):
I emailed you about four years ago after my mother
passed away from breast cancer. I'm not sure if you'll remember,
but in twenty twenty, my husband went on a very
long deployment, my mother died of breast cancer, and my
son started regressing and showing all the signs of autism.
He was three and not talking. I couldn't have a
lot of communication with my husband, and my mother, who
I talk to all the time, was no longer here
(15:29):
to talk with me. To say that God used your
podcast to help me through that time as an understatement
the Bobby Bone Show too. Of course, my nights with
my son were brutal because part of his regression included sleep,
so we were up all night long and it felt
incredibly lonely. But when five am rolled around, I knew
that I could turn on the radio and hear y'all.
I looked forward to it, and on the days that
(15:51):
a new podcast would launch, I was so excited. It
helped fill the silence in my home and brought me
joy and positivity. I'm convinced that one of the greatest
strengths we can possess in life is being resilient. For me,
being resilient means finding a path forward and taking hold
of moments of joy because if you look, you'll always
be able to find it. It may be a song,
(16:12):
a podcast, an outfit, a moment with a loved one
or a friend, or a morning corny. But determining to
see the joy and enjoy it is so huge to
being resilient. The Lord has been so kind to give
me strength and wisdom to grow and become resilient and
giving me true moments of joy along the way. My
husband is about to leave for another deployment, and my son,
(16:32):
who was three, is now seven and he has level
three autism and is nonverbal. I also have another son
who is three and he does not have autism, and
I will be navigating the majority of this year as
a solo parent. It will not be easy, but I
feel way more prepared to step into that than I
did back in twenty twenty. I have ways to cope
with hard days, and I just had the wisdom to
(16:54):
know that all seasons change and I will make it.
I won't just survive, but by the grace of God,
I may just even thrive. That part gives me emotional.
That line is so good. I won't just survive, but
by the grace of God, I may just even thrive.
And that is those are true words spoken from someone
through that has been through it, which a lot of
(17:16):
people have. But she's speaking of the growth that she's
had the last four to five years. Oh that's a
good line. And part of my plan to keep my
sanity is to stay active, keep laughing, and to do
the things that fill my cup so that I can
pour out into my two precious boys. And your podcast
is going to be a big part of that. I
(17:37):
just want you to know that I'm so grateful for
the work that you do and I'm looking forward to
spending another year listening. Thank you in advance for helping
me get through this year as well, your friend Taylor
and Virginia Beach and her photo so cute.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Kat.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I'm gonna show you the picture of them. That's her
and her husband and her two boys. Aren't they so cute?
So Taylor, thank you for that. And I know that
we will be and other listeners hearing your story, they're
me praying for you this year. For that strength. Then
you are resilient and you will get through this year.
And I know what it's like to have a husband
(18:10):
gone while I never had to deal with a year
long deployment, thank god. I had a lot of friends
that did, and I honestly would look at them and think,
how do you all do this? Like I would deal
with sixty ninety day deployments with the Air Force, But
some of my Army wife friends, they were dealing with
year year and a half. And yeah, I was in
awe of them, and Taylor were in all of you,
(18:32):
and I know that your words. I chose to read
your email, and I asked her permission, of course, because
there's some sensitive information here, but she said, yeah, read
it all. I know that your words are going to
encourage somebody else who's going through a tough season to
know that they can make it out on the other side,
and that they actually won't be scared of the tough
seasons because they know of how it's going to mold
(18:54):
them and shape them into who they are meant to be,
and that down the line, they may not be scared
of them because they'll know they'll potentially even thrive in
those difficult seasons and moments. So I just wanted to
read that because it was so encouraging, and I know
she's gonna be listening to us this year, and Kat
(19:14):
and are getting closer and closer to being able to
tell y'all what we're cooking. As the kids say, is
that a thing? Well, they say, let me cook. She ate,
You can eat too, she ate, she cooked? Oh, let
me cook, okay, which I don't know if they're still
saying that, by the way, but I know there was
a season where my kids would be saying, let me cook. Mom.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Well we're cooking. Yeah, okay, got it.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
We're quite not literally cooking up something, but we are
cooking up something, so we are close to sharing what
that is. And I sort of have been doing like
a little sample trial case study of sorts. Oh okay,
like I am have sent it to certain listeners like
(20:02):
what we're up to to see what they think, because
I would like feedback, and I'm not. I haven't. It's
just random how I've come across. It's more of if
I'm engaging with someone about something and I'm like, oh,
this might be.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Good to ask you to be part of my case study.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
It's not really a case study, but just collecting information,
getting feedback to see are we on the right path?
Is this going to be something? How do you feel
about it, be honest, you know, hopefully they're being honest.
But so far, so far, so far, good feedback, good feedback,
there's excitement, there's buzz. I think it could be good.
(20:37):
I know, I personally am so excited. And we're less
than a month away, for sure, less than a month away. Yeah,
I've given myself a deadline because otherwise.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
It'll never happen.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Well that's not true. You know that it's happened because
you've seen the progress. Yeah yeah, yeah, even here at
my house, like we're putting stuff together.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
These kinds of things always take longer than they feel
like they shouldn't our head.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Though, Yeah, and I'm trying to be realistic about it.
But also I was waiting to finalize some stuff with
my job and what I do, and it wasn't all
up to you, the bigger umbrella of what it is.
So yeah, it's not just been totally up to me.
But we are getting closer, and it makes me think
of Taylor's year, and gosh, I hope for her sake
(21:24):
time flies, But also I want time to slow down
because I feel like life really is going by so quickly.
It's like that Kenny Chesney song like don't Blink, and just.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Like that, you know, don't don't blink. That's all I know.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I know I was gonna try to sing more too,
and I can't think of anything accurate. I have some
lyrics in my head, but I know they're not right.
And just like that your six.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Year old is swinging a bat.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
It's always gonna say you're gonna take a lap, like
in a car, meaning now they're sixteen, but it's definitely
not it anyway. Time flies, time flies, So Taylor for you,
we hope it really really flies. We're going to be
here with you though, hopefully with some fresh new content,
ish in a new vibe, packaged, be branded and vance.
(22:18):
As y'all can tell right now, it's going to be riveting.
We have all the words to describe it. We have
everything laid out. There's a whole description, a lot of adjectives.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
We're really good at, like click bait and you know
all of that.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, we need we need to actually like sit down
and do some stuff, but we've been worrying about some
other things that take priority, like which rug and curtains
and curtains and sound panels and different things. So I'm very,
very excited about what is to come. And Taylor, I
hope what we do have cooking keeps you company. And
(22:55):
I know again, like I said, your words are going
to be so encouraging to other listeners. And if y'all
have updates, send them four things with Amy Brown at
gmail dot com for no. Okay, so we read the
listener email and now I have audio from Kate Winslet.
It's not audio she recorded for us, but it's something
(23:16):
that she did for Bizarre.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Everybody was like, oh, she must have said that to you.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
She did it for Harper's Bizarre. Really nice, and I
really like what she's saying. And maybe it's because I'm
in my no botox era, but here's what she had
to say.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
There are several things I've learned, and that is that
Number One, women get more beautiful as they get older,
for sure, because our faces become more a part of
who we are. They sit better on our bone structure,
they have more life, they have more history. Things that
I find incredibly beautiful, wrinkles around the eyes, the backs
of hands, I think those things are very beautiful.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Okay, so right now, the wrinkles around the eyes, I
can get behind. I still don't want my handstage, which
I have. I've embraced and I've told the story before,
like I look down and I see my mom's hands,
and my mom's not here anymore. So I'm like, oh,
it's my mom. But then I'm also like, oh, it's
my mom. But oh, I'm going to still put my
skincare on the back of my hands.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Do you do that?
Speaker 3 (24:14):
What?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yes, everything you put on your face you need to
put on your neck. You're chest in the backs of
your hands when you're never thought to do that, when
you're done applying it to your face and your neck
at least and hopefully your chest.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
I'm not doing my chest, Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
I take it from a forty four year old start now.
I don't think I started my chest until the last
few years, and I wish I would have started in
my twenties. But here we are, and I take whatever product. Fine,
if you're just doing your face, cat, you do it
on there and then boop. Just instead of wiping it
on a towel or anywhere else, just put on the
(24:50):
back of your hands.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I've never thought to put skincare on my hands. I
don't even really wear lotion on my hands.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
We're still young, you know, driving gloves are kind of
a thing to protect my hands.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Okay, I'm not ready for the gloves. I do wonder
because you know, you hear that like the when you
get your nails done, that's bad for your hands. They're like,
U V the lamp. So should I wear gloves when
I do my nails?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I have no idea. Okay, how are you gonna wear
gloves when you do your nails?
Speaker 2 (25:15):
The fingerless gloves?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Wait, You're just gonna cover like the top part of
your hands.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And then you put it in the lamp. So then
it's like it's kind of like a tanning bed, you know.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Will you know that you can get skin cancer in
your fingernail bed?
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Okay, I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Okay, when you go to the dermatologist, you're supposed to
go with no fingernail polish or toe nail polish. That way,
they can if you're doing a full body checkup like
you're yearly.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I haven't been the dermatologist since high school or college.
What you keep reminding me to go? And I'm like, oh,
I'm gonna go, but I actually am gonna do a
lot of doctor's appointments that I'm not used to doing.
I do like my year, like physical and stuff like that.
Now that I have better insurance because I finally have
like an actual insurance plan versus like one I had
to buy for myself some self employed, so I get
(26:05):
better benefits, gotcha?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I mean that makes sense. And I know that going
to the dermatologist is a privilege. It's not something that's
people are used to going to or that is often covered.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
I mean I could have gone. I just never thought
of everyone. Okay, I'm making excuses, but if you're making.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Excuses, but also there's some people that are like, well,
I wish I could go, And that's a whole other
thing in America we got to figure out. So that's
put the lotioner on your hands and ask me how
how my face fitness is going?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Ask me how my face fitness is going.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
It's going really good? Or well, can I.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
See could you notice?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
I don't know. I know it straight away, and I
like the ten minutes that I'm doing. It's very therapeutic.
It's relaxed. I've learned that relaxing the muscles in the
neck is very important for your face. Like you wouldn't think,
but if these muscles are tight, that's what pulls down,
and that starts to pull your face down. So if
you release and relax the muscles in the neck and
(27:16):
the shoulders, well yeah, but you've got to massage it out.
I can't remember the name of this muscle, but you
have one on the right side and the left side
pair of muscle, got it, centrality preference muscle. You massage
that and it's actually quite painful. You have like if
they say it'll get easier, but mine is sort of
(27:39):
really tight and embedded into my neck. But if I
squeeze it, it gets loose and it feels better. But
that hopefully is releasing some of the muscles and relaxing
some of the muscles in my face as well. I
don't know that I see anything, but I feel better.
I feel relaxed, like I look forward to doing in
the morning and sometimes even do a nighttime route. And
(28:00):
I found all of these women on YouTube. There's all
these free videos, Like I was gonna subscribe to some
of this stuff, and I'm like, look at all this
content out here. It's so great. A lot of them
are in Japanese.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
So you just follow what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Yeah, But I'm thinking if I do this a lot,
by the end of it, I might know certain words
in Japanese like nick face knows.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Do you know any of them? Now? Not yet?
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Okay, But I'm saying if I'm consistent because I'm reading
the subtitle, yeah, and then I'm listening to what they're saying,
and if I hear it enough, you.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Might just accidentally pick up a language. Yes, a very
difficult language.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
This could be my super power one day if we
need a Japanese You never know, like in a time
of crisis, they'd.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Be like, who speaks Japanese? You're on a plane. You're
on a plane, there's emergency, and they're like, help, does
anybody speak Japanese?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
And you're like, I know, forehead.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Mustage if you jump up, but you literally are like,
I know.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
I know, relax, I know, lips, jowl, jaw line, ears.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
There are so many pressure points in the ears that help.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
I see this being really helpful for you.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I know lymph notes, you know or you will know.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
You don't know it.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yet, future me, well know, Like if there's ever a
situation where I need to suck Japanese. I might know
it because I am doing so many of these videos
and I gotta say they are so I'm not kidding.
I'm going to send you one and you're gonna do it.
(29:51):
Do it at night? But did you do it? Did
you do the did you have a five minute one
or the ten minute one?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Well, I didn't do it.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
You say it was a weekend and I said, well
you I asked. I think I asked you to send
it to me, and then I think I had to
get ready to go so when I have time, and
I was like, oh, I'll do it later, and I
never did it. So I don't know if it's five
or ten. But knowing me, if I want to start it,
I need the five minute. I like do skincare, but
I just like rub it on my face and go on.
I have the time and the definitely in the morning,
I have the time to do that.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
You should do it.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Is I have to do it, I've been I've been
listening to an audiobook though, so I don't want to are.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
You listening to because I'm listening to November ninth, So
what are you listening to.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Okay, so I never thought this would be me. You
would actually like this because you were a Hunger Games girl,
weren't you?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I was.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I'm listening to Fourth Wing. Have you heard about it?
Speaker 1 (30:39):
No? But I am very interested. Is this something that's popular,
right ya? How do I not know about it?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
I didn't know about it until two weeks ago and
a couple of people I work with recommended the book.
I didn't think anything of it, didn't really read what
it was about, downloaded it, started listening to it, and
then I was like, wait, this book about dragons. I
do not want to listen to this anymore. So I
texted my friends and was like, why did you not
tell me this about dragons? This is not my cup
of tea. However, they encouraged me to just stay with it.
(31:07):
It is very similar type vibe of Hunger Games. There's
just dragons involved, and it's not weird. I mean, it
is weird, but it's like fun.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Well, Hunger Games is a little weird. I mean kids
are like fighting for their lives. Well similar kind of odd.
This is a little similar, and I mean my November
ninth book I'm really liking. But they're they've gotten a
little older as the book progresses, but in the beginning
they're eighteen. You're not like relating and they're having like
a love scene. I don't like hearing, oh that all.
They're eighteen, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no no,
(31:37):
I have a daughter that's seventeen. I'm not listening to this.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Well, this book had I was very shocked by it.
They had a love scene in there too, and was audiobooks,
so it makes it even weirder. It was like twenty
I had it as fast forward it humans are dragons
with humans. There could be a future dragon. Wait, the
dragons did pro create. They didn't procreating the book, but
there was mention of them. I can't explain it because
(32:03):
it just sounds weird when I say except talking about dragons.
But they have some alone time and you get connected
to a dragon, so like you feel the feelings of
your dragon. So then they started feeling the feelings of
their dragons time. I'm not giving this book a good explanation.
It is really good and I'm hooked. And there's I
think three books in the third one just came out
(32:24):
and it sold out immediately, so people are loving it. Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
The Fourth Wing is a adult high romance fantasy or
romancey about dragons. Seeing adult high romance fantasy.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Okay, This book audiobook is like twenty seven hours long.
I probably got through seventeen hours before there was any
romance scene, so it's not a big part of the book.
It's just there is a heavy storyline of a romance.
But that makes me like the book, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Okay, I'm trying to see if my I'm a romanticy
mine's a novel.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Well, you know what that's different than what smut is.
Do you know what smut is? That's like a romance
book that is heavy on the romance writing romance.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
But what does smut stand for. It's going to mean something,
smut meaning smut, smut book meaning a smut book is
a book that contains explicit and graphic content, apparently whatever
the dragon was doing. The term smut can also be
used to describe other media that contains Oh yeah, okay,
I've heard of smut used in that way, but I
(33:34):
guess I just wasn't thinking about it as a smut book.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
But this is not a smut book. This just has
a love scene in it.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah, proclaim that from the top.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
I am.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
This is not a smut book. It's a sexual fantasy
book about dragons. I just want to clarify, Okay, I
just want to clarify that it took at least thirteen
hours before the first.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
For me.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Okay, it's good. I think you like it, and I
bet people listening a lot of them have read it
and they probably want you to listen to it and
give it a chance to If you like Hunger Games,
I just feel like you would enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
If you like centrality preference around dragons, you like this book. Okay, Yah,
you're funny. Well, I recommend November ninth, except for it's
a little weird that they're eighteen. It's a Calling Hoover book, which.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Oh oh, we haven't talked about this.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Well, I don't really know what. Did you see Candace
Owen's whole thing? Yes, I watched every second.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Oh I didn't. I just saw her talking about it
and was like, she's talking about this, this.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Must be like well, and she read the entire legal
report because she did, Yes, because that's what she does,
like she can understand all of that. And she said,
let me tell you, I mean and she gave very
strong opinions. She was very clear to or wise, I guess,
to make known that this is her own.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Opinion, opinions, not facts. Correct.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
I mean, but in a way she's saying what I'm
saying is facts because I just read it and she's.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Like, this is my opinion, legal doc baste in facts.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I mean, I believe what she was saying. So I
was very impressed with her breakdown.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
And what was her like overarching that.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Ryan Reynolds is behind all of this and he's having
a mental breakdown. Oh that Blake developed feelings for How
do people know that though? Because she read through all
the trints. She read through everything, and she's like, it's
obvious to me that there was feelings, text messages, different
other Yes. Oh, I don't know how many pages this
are legal or what all it is, like ninety pages
(35:41):
or something, and a lot of jargon that may be
us common folk don't understand. But she broke it down,
and I will say that I believe her. What she
was saying seems to be accurate. But I'm not going
to put all my eggs in one basket because I
believed a lot of different people throughout this process, and
(36:02):
you know, she even called that out too, of like,
if you're going to have strong opinions about something and
you haven't read the entire thing, then don't say it
on an airth sort of like, yeah, shame on some
of you that have spoken out about this in such
a confident way and you don't know all of the details.
And while she doesn't know them personally and what's going on,
(36:22):
she just is able to form a very educated opinion
based on what she has read and in a nutshell
to answer your question of what she was saying, is
that Blake and what's his face?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Justin Baldoni?
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Justin? There was feelings there and Ryan got wind of
it somehow learned of it and has taken control of
this thinking that he had the power to make Justin
just disappear out of Hollywood and that's not happening. And
(36:58):
now she's like, why she is saying he's having a
mental break is that if he knows what's in this paper.
So it's like, if you're a rational thinking person and
you know you have taken this too far, then you
likely just stop and you own whatever, and you're like,
you know what this is? What happened, here's where we
(37:18):
are now. But da da da da, because there's she said,
if they go to court, there is no way that
they will win. There is just absolutely no way. And
that it's it's she called it. There's an abuse word
but like a legal abuse. And now, gosh, I want
to get the word accurate. But I didn't even know
we were going to be talking about this, so I didn't
(37:39):
even bring it up. But what he is doing, if
if this is, if her theory is correct, what he's
putting Blake through with.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
This, he's putting everybody through too, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
It's it's really really sad. And I thought it was
kind of funny that she tagged him in the video, oh,
Ryan Reynolds.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Which is not going to help if he has had
a mental breakdown, that's not going to help you.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I don't think she care. I mean whatever, he's probably
tagged in like tons of everything.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Yeah, he's probably not looking at it. Hopefully he's not
looking at all that stuff. It's just that whole situation.
I think you're saying sad. It is sad. It's sad
from the beginning of this that movie. You read that book, right, Yes.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I read the book, loved it, saw the movie, loved it.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
I thought the movie was fine.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Yeah, I mean I didn't love it as much as
the book, but I mean that's usually before all this craziness,
So I mean I thought they did.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Like well, the craziness started with the premiere of the movie.
But I yeah, I tried to like just put that
in my mind because that book was so good and
it had the potential to be such an important, I
think piece for so many people. Because even reading it,
I mean I was like a ball of tears reading that.
And it's based off of I want to say that's
based off of Colin Hoover's mom's life or something similarsh
(38:52):
like loosely based on But it just is sad that,
like something that could have been so hopeful and helpful
and meaningful to so many people, now everybody's gonna remember
it as this, and if it really is based in
what I guess Kennis Oden's is saying, like, that's even
sadder that it's all trying to like cover up.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Just what about the next book? It begins that's.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Never They're never gonna make that movie, you really think,
I don't know, because Justin owns the rights to it.
Justin's character wouldn't be really in the second I didn't
read the second book.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I remember how we were thinking, like he was such
a dirt bag for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Well, I had a hard time with that though. Remember,
because I love him, like I've been a fan of him.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
What did you think of his twenty seven minute proposal
video or whatever he did for his wife?
Speaker 2 (39:38):
That was weird, but some people liked that kind of stuff.
I thought that was weird. But I loved his book
man enough. I listened to his podcast. He was on
you Need Therapy, and he was I don't know why
he agreed to be I mean, I shouldn't say that
because it's kind of putting myself down. But he's way
bigger than my podcast was, and he came on my
podcast to talk about that book. Was so gracious, was
(39:59):
so kind. I could tell he cared about that content.
So when I heard about this, I was like, oh no,
I like want to believe the best in him, but
I also can't just be blinded by the fact that
I've been a fan of his. So I was upset
when that first stuff came out of like, oh, maybe
I read this all wrong. I don't know. I feel
like I shouldn't even be saying anything on it because
(40:20):
I really don't even know what the facts are and
I haven't read those documents, probably should understand them.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Candace referred to Ryan as terrifying, unhinged, the true villain.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
It's not nice the way she put it.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
I was like, okay. Someone even commented I pulled. I
went to the Instagram post and said, well, first of all,
her caption for her video was Ryan Reynolds is terrifying.
Here is how it will end, and she gave her
theory on how it's gonna unfold. And then someone commented,
I literally could care less about anyone in Hollywood. The
Candace starts talking about somebody, and I'm all, like what.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
She does have a lot of conviction in the way
she talks. I guess I'm surely this is going to
be Well. My thought is Justin isn't going to want
to settle this. This is me. I know nothing about loss,
so take this with a grain of salt. I guess
my normal person thought would be if I was Justin,
I wouldn't want to settle this out of court because
I would want to clear my name. But if I
(41:14):
was Blake or Ryan, I would be like, let's clean
this up now, because I don't want people.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
To Well, apparently Justin's team they're ready to put up
an entire website with all the facts, like so that
people just go to the website and read it all
okay and like here, yeah facts, No printer. That's another thing.
The kids saying, apparently.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
You just thought of that, and I'm like that that's
kind of like, you know, it's witty.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yah yeah, yeah, no printer. Wow. So yeah, how did
we start talking about that?
Speaker 2 (41:49):
How did we get on that? Justin? Oh book, our
book Colling Hoover, Colling Hoover.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Yes, because I'm reading or listening to November ninth, and
I just I really love the concept of this book
so much.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
That is the concept eighteen year olds.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
I just don't like that they're eighteen, But what is
it they were like thirty? Well, I'm too nervous to
tell because what if I give away.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
You're not going to give away you might get shamed. Okay,
but there's dragons.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Involved in a dutshell, there's a couple.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Hold on, I don't understand why you can't because I'm.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
On the Bobby Bone Show, I am known to ruin things.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Okay, well what what what does the back of the
book say.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Well, okay, let me just pull it up. Well, it's
an audio I'm audio.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Which I don't understand why you could just be like,
it's a love story about a couple in high school.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
It's a love story. Okay, they met they were strangers,
but how they met is super cute. Okay, in a restaurant.
And she is insecure you'll learn in the book why
if you listen to it. But she was a beautiful
girl that was an actress. Then an accident happened and
she suddenly really insecure. Well, he's someone that sees her
for her and.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
She need to stop gosh giving to it.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Well, so then he's a writer, but he's eighteen, And
I'm like, he's eighteen.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
But he's a published writer.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
No, he's not published. Okay, yeah, but he ends up
getting anyway.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
I don't want to they do much. Okay, let me
see where does it say?
Speaker 2 (43:16):
What I can say you saying whatever comes into your head.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Background when I go to Amazon.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
I think that gives enough about the summary of the book.
So a love story.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Okay, Fallin meets Ben, an aspiring novelist, the day before
her scheduled cross country move. Their untimely attraction leads to
them spending Fallin's last day in la together, and her
eventful life becomes the creative inspiration Ben has always sought
for his novel. And then they come up they have
this really good novel idea.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
So that was.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
November ninth, and then they only meet up with each
other every November ninth. So like you, a year passes by,
but you don't have to listen to a bunch of
stuff in the ear. It'll be like next November ninth,
and then you you're drawn into what happens that day
and they're supposed to meet up. They don't have each
other's phone numbers, emails, nothing. They just have to meet
at the same place November nine. And every November ninth,
(44:09):
you're like, are they gonna meet? Is one of them
going to show?
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Wait, that's the boot show. It's just one day each year.
That's crazy. Authors just are so crazy to me, the
way that they can formulate a story around that. I
have another book wreck that doesn't have dragons in it,
called Daisy darker and it's a murder mystery. It's all
gonna say the ending. Blew my mind, blew my mind.
(44:33):
I don't understand how a writer can do. Like it's
a talent and a skill I'm afraid i'll never have.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
But don't you want to write a book? I can't
write a story like this that not a novel.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Yeah, like you would write a real I'm not creative enough.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
And it's just nonfiction self help type book.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
I don't know, I don't know. I don't like the
term self help. I guess informative, do you know.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
I saw Glennon Doyle. This is like just a clip
on Instagram that she must have been on somebody's podcast
and she said this, But it just stuck with me
about how oftentimes men will write books and it's always
put in the leadership section, and then women write books
and it's automatically put in the self help section because
men are leaders and women need help. You know, wait
(45:18):
that track, We're like this problem that needs to be
fixed and men just need to be like in up.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Yeah right, Well, I'm definitely not going to write a
leadership book, but now now I kind of want to.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Now you need to write something and just be like
I'm writing this and it's not going to be put
in self help.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Thank you was in the leadership section. Thank You.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Like nobody needs to be fixed here, is that the titles?
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Write that down?
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Write that down. Well, I'm not me. I'm not going
to write it. You know, Nobody needs to be fixed
here except for maybe Ryan Reynolds. Apparently he's spiraling because
some stuff going on.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Yeah, well I'm intrigued to see what happens with all that.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
I know, But I mean I'm thinking, like there's kids
you're spiraling, and we're not considering like all the different
variables and how they are intacted by this. And then
Justin has.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
A wife and kids.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Yeah, like this is just.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Like how did we get out of control? Wild times?
All right?
Speaker 1 (46:15):
Well wild times? Okay? Cal Where can people find.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
You on Instagram at kat van Buren
Speaker 1 (46:19):
And I'm at Radio Amy and we hope that you
are having the day you need to have by
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and I'm going to start off with a
story about the first stall theory, because before Kat and
I started recording, when we sat down, I was like,
I have you ever heard of the first doll theory?
And you said you had not. Well, I'm listening to
a book on Audible called November ninth. Heard of it? No,
(00:24):
it's a Calling Hoover book. It's oh, it's like a story, okay, yeah,
And the main character talks about how she always uses
the first stall in the bathroom because she read that
it's the least used by people, which equals less germs.
So obviously I decided to google if this is fiction
like the book or actually a real study, and it
looks like it's legit. I found an entire article about
(00:47):
this called which doll is the cleanest? And according to studies,
the middle stalls are to be avoided if possible. Apparently,
people tend to choose the middle one because it's in
the middle and they like to be in the middle preference.
They're like, Okay, I'm not going to go in the
first one. I don't want to go in the last
one's just preference is that they go in the middle.
(01:07):
On the other hand, the first doll, which is the
least used, is likely to be the cleanest because less
people have been in there. Most people avoid the first doll.
And so today you know what I did. I was
at the doctor. Guess which doll I went into?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
The first?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
That's right, I went twice. I went before my appointment
first all, and then after my appointment. Guess why I
had to go in the first one. The other two
were occupied. I had no choice. But that means they
bypassed the first one. Probably for the centrality preference.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Well is that what It's called centrality preference? So you
make that up, that's what that says.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I tried to avoid saying the word at the beginning,
and I was like, just because people prefer the middle.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Stall, but I'm trying to imagine what I do. But
I feel like I do go in the middle.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Probably we can also centuality preference.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
But if there's like I was trying to use the
argument that if I don't want to use the first
because I don't want people to like be able to
like see me or something. But that's only if there's
a line and then you just use the stall that's open.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
That's true, But I mean, I'm just saying, if you
have a choice, yeah, and every stall the world is
your oyster, which one are you gonna choose? And now
you're gonna probably choose the first stall because I said this,
and the main character in the book that I'm listening
to said it, and then I googled it and here
we are. Now we're talking about the first all theory
and it's the whole thing interesting. But I mean, don't
(02:28):
hold me to it if you actually, like do some tests.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But that I think applies to all public places and
things like I'm thinking you go into a restaurant, you
don't sit at the first table. I'm gonna walk past
that one and go to the next one, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Like if you haven't a choice. See if I have
a choice, yeah, yeaheah, Well I don't want to sit
by the door because it's drafty. Yeah, so I don't
know that it's like a cleanliness thing.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
But where you want to be in the middle where
all the action is. But that's not really what I
want to do in the bathroom, true.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You know what they call that though? Wanting to be
in the middle.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Centrality preference. Preference.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Cool, that's our new word of the day. We have
to work into conversation. Centrality preference.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
We forgot about the word of the day.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I know it's been a minute. Well we just brought
it back.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, just now, centrality preference in.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
A very very organic way. Yeah, which that's normally not
how we begin the show. We always begin with a quote.
But since we were talking about first all theory, I
wanted to make sure we touch on it in case
anybody is listening to us right now and they are
literally walking into a public bathroom.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
You're welcome, and would you recommend somebody waiting for the
first all to open up? If?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Well, I can't do that because by the time I
make it to the bathroom, I'm already on the verge
of pee my pants.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Do you wait to go? Yes? I do that too,
And I don't know why I hate getting up and
going to the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, I needed to go before So I left work
today to go to the doctor's appointment, and I needed
to go before I left work. Yeah, I should have
gone before I left work, because then I got to
the doctor's woman, I'm on the elevator and I have
to like squat down like I'm getting something out of
my bag because I am like, I think I'm gonna
be in my pants. And if I squat down and
pretend like I'm in my bag, at least I'll delay it.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
You know.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
It just felt like I could like hold it and
then someone yes, because someone was, someone was getting on
the elevator and I'm like, I can't do a pee
dance or hold it in any way. So i put
my bag down on the elevator and I'm like, oh,
I'm going to dig in my bag right now and
act like I'm getting something because I have to be.
(04:31):
So I just got lucky that the first stall was available.
But also even if I wanted to go to the
middle stall, I don't think I would have made it
like I had to just run to that bathroom pee
and then I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Know what that is. I wonder if that's a thing
around a lot of women. I find it such an
inconvenience to have to go to the bathroom. But it
is really bad for you to hold it that long.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yes, it's terrible for you.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Maybe we work on that.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I know I need to rewire my pee area. I
mean you can rewire your b but you know.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You can strengthen the muscles.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That's okay, Well I.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Need to do that. You're p area.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Okay, Well I have a quote. Yeah, we got We're
gonna get to the quote.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Okay, So this comes from Adam Grant, who he's a
I'm pretty sure he's a psychologist, but he does a
lot of leadership.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Have you read.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah, of course he's great.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
We've quoted him before, or at least I have for
sure on the.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Fourties BFF, I feel like with Brene Brown, so anybody
she hangs out with I trust. But the quote is
major life decisions shouldn't be based on short term emotions.
They should be guided by long term values. Feelings are
better mirrors than maps. They reflect your present states, but
they don't come with future directions. Don't let today's mood
(05:42):
drive who you become tomorrow. I love that part. Feelings
are a better mirror than maps.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yes, that's what I was gonna say back, but then
I couldn't remember all these words. I was like, oh,
I like that, remember it, remember it? And then I couldn't.
So feelings are better mirrors than maps, is what it is.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
So not letting them tell you what you need to
do in that moment.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
But sometimes you know what's going on in the I
know that this is the right thing to do when
I hear you. But sometimes just making decisions when you're
all emotional just feels like the right thing to do. Yeah,
but then later that's what you learned. What was it
the best decision?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah? So Adam Grant. Look, he has a lot of
good stuff on his Instagram page two, so if you
don't follow him.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, he's really good. And you know you said that
him being bff with Brenee Brown just makes you trust
him more. It's funny to say that because I had
a phone call the other day with a woman have
no idea what she looks like.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I thought you were going to say with Brene Brown,
and I was going to say, how did you hold
this in? Sorry about that?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Okay, it was with a woman that sounds like Renee Brown,
Like she give me a Brene Brown impersonator on the phone. Really,
so it's basically like I talked to Brene.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I was picturing Brene the entire phone call, and I
thought for sure when we got off that this woman
was gonna be like oh, I've heard this a million
times because I said, hey, before we hang up, I
just have to tell you, has anybody ever told you
that you sound exactly like Brene Brown? And she said,
oh my gosh, I'm a huge Brene fan. So I
(07:12):
take that as such a huge compliment. But no, nobody's
ever told me that. And it's what, like, what do
they not have ears? Because she works in the therapy space,
so I know people she's talking to no Brene, yeah,
or have listened to Brene or seen Brene's stuff. Like,
It's not like I was talking to someone that has
(07:33):
never heard of Brene Brown. So I'm like, how am
I hearing this? And nobody else has said this to her?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Did you have Brene on the brain?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
No, okay.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
But my point in telling you this is I trusted
her more because she sounded like Brene.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
You must be related to her.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But everything she was saying, I'm like, mm, yeah, yeah,
you're legitb.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Well, Brene has a very calming and strong presence in
her voice.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, which I'll make it strong is difficult, Yes, this
woman has it wow. Confidence but comfort Yeah, like there
was a lot of that. I mean, we're having to
talk about some difficult things, and I just felt seen
and I felt and I'm like, oh yeah, sign me up.
Whatever it is you got going on, I would ever
sign me up because you're basically Brene Brown. And she
(08:27):
said no one has ever told her that. But I
wonder how subconsciously sometimes if someone just a has a
relationship with someone that we trust, that we automatically give
them more credit than we should. Or they look or
sound like something familiar in our life that was safe,
so we give them more trust than we should.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
That makes sense. If you have a friend that you trust,
then I am gonna be more apt to trust that person.
That makes sense. But just because they look like somebody,
we should still have some thought around that and not
automatically give them. But I guess the relation.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Let me throw this curveball at you. So I saw
a picture of my college boyfriend of what he looks
like now kind of so we're in our docketies. No,
I came across a picture.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
It was.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
He's with someone that is related to someone that I
know now, so I think on Instagram, I just come
across because he doesn't have socials or anything. But I
saw a picture and I thought oh, so I know
what he looks like. I don't know if y'all can
hear my cat mewing. But at the box, I put
a big box in my room because I think it's
so cute how she gets into boxes, and it's so cute.
(09:38):
It's like her own little home. It's just a cardboard box.
It's almost like you buy it. Like with kids, you
spend money on expensive toys and then you're like, oh wait,
they just want to pot in a pan or a
cardboard box, and with cats, it's like, okay, here's a box.
So back to this weird realization. So I see a
(10:00):
picture of him kind of recently, of what he's looking
like in his forties, and then, you know, my boyfriend
were at his house and I see a picture of
him from ten years ago, which would be the age
of my college boyfriend now, and I was like, is
that You know, obviously it's Tim, but I'm like, you know,
(10:22):
it's really weird about that. And I just said this
out loud. I was like, you look just like my
college boyfriend in this picture. Like, y'all, they look like
they could be brothers, really, which is really interesting. So
I thought i'd just share that, but not in that
I'm dating him because you know, but I wonder if
(10:42):
there was something familiar about him.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Well, I think that's something to say that you're attracted
to the same type of people, like looking even like
looks wise like people go for similar things over and
over again, so that makes sense. Does he look like him?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Now? My sister even said that at one point, she
was like, he's kind of giving you know who vibes,
And I was like, I know, right, so I have
a type, but I don't really have a type because
I've been all over that is true.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
You don't really have a type.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Even in college. I really don't have a type. It's
just interesting and weird. There's nothing related to any of this,
and it's not some weird thing of like that's why
I'm dating him at all. It just was one of
those moments of like, huh, I wonder if subconsciously, because
I know I'm not really I adore him for all
kinds of reasons, but anyway, I'm just gonna share that tidbit.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
And then I was related and you didn't know.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
No, I already thought through that, okay, because it's so
failtacky that I was like, so you don't have any
family in this part of the country, do you, or
this part? Because I mean, I know a lot of
his family history. And I said, it's just so weird
how much y'all look alike. And he was real confident.
He was like, it wasn't He was like, why are
(11:59):
you bringing up your college boyfriend? Which thank goodness because
he's very mature. But it wasn't like a thing. I
like the freedom to just be able to say whatever.
I bet that there are some men that if a
girl were to make a comment like that, they wouldn't
be able to handle it.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
So shout out, just blurting things. So I've been saying
more of what just co comes to my mind. No,
just in general everywhere, things that come to my mind.
I just say it.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Has that gotten you in any trouble?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
No? Okay, thank goodness, We've been having pretty good thoughts.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
But that is even your are Do you feel more
comfortable with who you are in general around where you're
not second guessing yourself? And is it you blurting things
out or you just feel more freedom to be yourself?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I don't know. I literally today we were recording stuff
for the Bobby Bone Show, and I said out loud,
like a conversation I was having in my head because
I stopped doing something, and then I was like, oh no,
go ahead do that, and then I go, okay, I will.
I said all of that out loud. I said all
(13:01):
of it out loud. Everyone in the room was like,
what just happened? And I was like, sorry, welcome to
my brain. But I don't know if it's me being
on my medication and I'm just feeling good.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Usually that happens when people are like under the influencer
or something where they're like responding to themselves.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Versus you're like very sober, okay, I will No. I
was like, okay, go ahead, okay. I well, like I
was picturing what Bobby would say to me, would just
be like okay, go ahead, and me being like okay.
But I said both things not loud. It was the
(13:43):
weirdest saying all.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
The voices in your head are integrating.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, or I was like, is this the beginning of
like the downfall? Oh? No, I start just saying everything
because that's what I did. When I saw the photo
in his house, I was like, gosh, is that you
because you look just like my college boyfriend. That's weird.
They could be related. You weren't talking to yourself to that, No, no, no,
(14:08):
but I mean I probably would have liked just help
up on that. So anyway, I didn't mean to talk
about that at all. I do love that quote, So
thank you. We'll go from bringing that to us who
said it at Adam Brant.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
That's how we got to Brown, which is how we
got to your college boyfriend. That's right.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I just want to make sure I do have an
email from a listener that is an update. We've been
getting so many updates lately from listeners and I love
I think that they're hearing other people give updates and
it's encouraging them, Like, oh, mission, I emailed something two three, four,
(14:47):
five years ago. I'm gonna send an update, So I'm
going to read this now. It is from Taylor in
Virginia Beach and she attached a picture and she said
she did a little ps at bottom. I'm attaching a
photo because I feel like if I was getting a
listener email, i'd love to see them. And I was like, yeah,
you're right. So it's a cute little family photo. Hey, Amy,
(15:08):
I emailed you about four years ago after my mother
passed away from breast cancer. I'm not sure if you'll remember,
but in twenty twenty, my husband went on a very
long deployment, my mother died of breast cancer, and my
son started regressing and showing all the signs of autism.
He was three and not talking. I couldn't have a
lot of communication with my husband, and my mother, who
I talk to all the time, was no longer here
(15:29):
to talk with me. To say that God used your
podcast to help me through that time as an understatement
the Bobby Bone Show too. Of course, my nights with
my son were brutal because part of his regression included sleep,
so we were up all night long and it felt
incredibly lonely. But when five am rolled around, I knew
that I could turn on the radio and hear y'all.
I looked forward to it, and on the days that
(15:51):
a new podcast would launch, I was so excited. It
helped fill the silence in my home and brought me
joy and positivity. I'm convinced that one of the greatest
strengths we can possess in life is being resilient. For me,
being resilient means finding a path forward and taking hold
of moments of joy because if you look, you'll always
be able to find it. It may be a song,
(16:12):
a podcast, an outfit, a moment with a loved one
or a friend, or a morning corny. But determining to
see the joy and enjoy it is so huge to
being resilient. The Lord has been so kind to give
me strength and wisdom to grow and become resilient and
giving me true moments of joy along the way. My
husband is about to leave for another deployment, and my son,
(16:32):
who was three, is now seven and he has level
three autism and is nonverbal. I also have another son
who is three and he does not have autism, and
I will be navigating the majority of this year as
a solo parent. It will not be easy, but I
feel way more prepared to step into that than I
did back in twenty twenty. I have ways to cope
with hard days, and I just had the wisdom to
(16:54):
know that all seasons change and I will make it.
I won't just survive, but by the grace of God,
I may just even thrive. That part gives me emotional.
That line is so good. I won't just survive, but
by the grace of God, I may just even thrive.
And that is those are true words spoken from someone
through that has been through it, which a lot of
(17:16):
people have. But she's speaking of the growth that she's
had the last four to five years. Oh that's a
good line. And part of my plan to keep my
sanity is to stay active, keep laughing, and to do
the things that fill my cup so that I can
pour out into my two precious boys. And your podcast
is going to be a big part of that. I
(17:37):
just want you to know that I'm so grateful for
the work that you do and I'm looking forward to
spending another year listening. Thank you in advance for helping
me get through this year as well, your friend Taylor
and Virginia Beach and her photo so cute.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Kat.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I'm gonna show you the picture of them. That's her
and her husband and her two boys. Aren't they so cute?
So Taylor, thank you for that. And I know that
we will be and other listeners hearing your story, they're
me praying for you this year. For that strength. Then
you are resilient and you will get through this year.
And I know what it's like to have a husband
(18:10):
gone while I never had to deal with a year
long deployment, thank god. I had a lot of friends
that did, and I honestly would look at them and think,
how do you all do this? Like I would deal
with sixty ninety day deployments with the Air Force, But
some of my Army wife friends, they were dealing with
year year and a half. And yeah, I was in
awe of them, and Taylor were in all of you,
(18:32):
and I know that your words. I chose to read
your email, and I asked her permission, of course, because
there's some sensitive information here, but she said, yeah, read
it all. I know that your words are going to
encourage somebody else who's going through a tough season to
know that they can make it out on the other side,
and that they actually won't be scared of the tough
seasons because they know of how it's going to mold
(18:54):
them and shape them into who they are meant to be,
and that down the line, they may not be scared
of them because they'll know they'll potentially even thrive in
those difficult seasons and moments. So I just wanted to
read that because it was so encouraging, and I know
she's gonna be listening to us this year, and Kat
(19:14):
and are getting closer and closer to being able to
tell y'all what we're cooking. As the kids say, is
that a thing? Well, they say, let me cook. She ate,
You can eat too, she ate, she cooked? Oh, let
me cook, okay, which I don't know if they're still
saying that, by the way, but I know there was
a season where my kids would be saying, let me cook. Mom.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Well we're cooking. Yeah, okay, got it.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
We're quite not literally cooking up something, but we are
cooking up something, so we are close to sharing what
that is. And I sort of have been doing like
a little sample trial case study of sorts. Oh okay,
like I am have sent it to certain listeners like
(20:02):
what we're up to to see what they think, because
I would like feedback, and I'm not. I haven't. It's
just random how I've come across. It's more of if
I'm engaging with someone about something and I'm like, oh,
this might be.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Good to ask you to be part of my case study.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
It's not really a case study, but just collecting information,
getting feedback to see are we on the right path?
Is this going to be something? How do you feel
about it, be honest, you know, hopefully they're being honest.
But so far, so far, so far, good feedback, good feedback,
there's excitement, there's buzz. I think it could be good.
(20:37):
I know, I personally am so excited. And we're less
than a month away, for sure, less than a month away. Yeah,
I've given myself a deadline because otherwise.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
It'll never happen.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Well that's not true. You know that it's happened because
you've seen the progress. Yeah yeah, yeah, even here at
my house, like we're putting stuff together.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
These kinds of things always take longer than they feel
like they shouldn't our head.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Though, Yeah, and I'm trying to be realistic about it.
But also I was waiting to finalize some stuff with
my job and what I do, and it wasn't all
up to you, the bigger umbrella of what it is.
So yeah, it's not just been totally up to me.
But we are getting closer, and it makes me think
of Taylor's year, and gosh, I hope for her sake
(21:24):
time flies, But also I want time to slow down
because I feel like life really is going by so quickly.
It's like that Kenny Chesney song like don't Blink, and just.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Like that, you know, don't don't blink. That's all I know.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I know I was gonna try to sing more too,
and I can't think of anything accurate. I have some
lyrics in my head, but I know they're not right.
And just like that your six.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Year old is swinging a bat.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
It's always gonna say you're gonna take a lap, like
in a car, meaning now they're sixteen, but it's definitely
not it anyway. Time flies, time flies, So Taylor for you,
we hope it really really flies. We're going to be
here with you though, hopefully with some fresh new content,
ish in a new vibe, packaged, be branded and vance.
(22:18):
As y'all can tell right now, it's going to be riveting.
We have all the words to describe it. We have
everything laid out. There's a whole description, a lot of adjectives.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
We're really good at, like click bait and you know
all of that.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, we need we need to actually like sit down
and do some stuff, but we've been worrying about some
other things that take priority, like which rug and curtains
and curtains and sound panels and different things. So I'm very,
very excited about what is to come. And Taylor, I
hope what we do have cooking keeps you company. And
(22:55):
I know again, like I said, your words are going
to be so encouraging to other listeners. And if y'all
have updates, send them four things with Amy Brown at
gmail dot com for no. Okay, so we read the
listener email and now I have audio from Kate Winslet.
It's not audio she recorded for us, but it's something
(23:16):
that she did for Bizarre.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Everybody was like, oh, she must have said that to you.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
She did it for Harper's Bizarre. Really nice, and I
really like what she's saying. And maybe it's because I'm
in my no botox era, but here's what she had
to say.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
There are several things I've learned, and that is that
Number One, women get more beautiful as they get older,
for sure, because our faces become more a part of
who we are. They sit better on our bone structure,
they have more life, they have more history. Things that
I find incredibly beautiful, wrinkles around the eyes, the backs
of hands, I think those things are very beautiful.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Okay, so right now, the wrinkles around the eyes, I
can get behind. I still don't want my handstage, which
I have. I've embraced and I've told the story before,
like I look down and I see my mom's hands,
and my mom's not here anymore. So I'm like, oh,
it's my mom. But then I'm also like, oh, it's
my mom. But oh, I'm going to still put my
skincare on the back of my hands.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Do you do that?
Speaker 3 (24:14):
What?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yes, everything you put on your face you need to
put on your neck. You're chest in the backs of
your hands when you're never thought to do that, when
you're done applying it to your face and your neck
at least and hopefully your chest.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
I'm not doing my chest, Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
I take it from a forty four year old start now.
I don't think I started my chest until the last
few years, and I wish I would have started in
my twenties. But here we are, and I take whatever product. Fine,
if you're just doing your face, cat, you do it
on there and then boop. Just instead of wiping it
on a towel or anywhere else, just put on the
(24:50):
back of your hands.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I've never thought to put skincare on my hands. I
don't even really wear lotion on my hands.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
We're still young, you know, driving gloves are kind of
a thing to protect my hands.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Okay, I'm not ready for the gloves. I do wonder
because you know, you hear that like the when you
get your nails done, that's bad for your hands. They're like,
U V the lamp. So should I wear gloves when
I do my nails?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I have no idea. Okay, how are you gonna wear
gloves when you do your nails?
Speaker 2 (25:15):
The fingerless gloves?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Wait, You're just gonna cover like the top part of
your hands.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And then you put it in the lamp. So then
it's like it's kind of like a tanning bed, you know.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Will you know that you can get skin cancer in
your fingernail bed?
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Okay, I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Okay, when you go to the dermatologist, you're supposed to
go with no fingernail polish or toe nail polish. That way,
they can if you're doing a full body checkup like
you're yearly.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I haven't been the dermatologist since high school or college.
What you keep reminding me to go? And I'm like, oh,
I'm gonna go, but I actually am gonna do a
lot of doctor's appointments that I'm not used to doing.
I do like my year, like physical and stuff like that.
Now that I have better insurance because I finally have
like an actual insurance plan versus like one I had
to buy for myself some self employed, so I get
(26:05):
better benefits, gotcha?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I mean that makes sense. And I know that going
to the dermatologist is a privilege. It's not something that's
people are used to going to or that is often covered.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
I mean I could have gone. I just never thought
of everyone. Okay, I'm making excuses, but if you're making.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Excuses, but also there's some people that are like, well,
I wish I could go, And that's a whole other
thing in America we got to figure out. So that's
put the lotioner on your hands and ask me how
how my face fitness is going?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Ask me how my face fitness is going.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
It's going really good? Or well, can I.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
See could you notice?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
I don't know. I know it straight away, and I
like the ten minutes that I'm doing. It's very therapeutic.
It's relaxed. I've learned that relaxing the muscles in the
neck is very important for your face. Like you wouldn't think,
but if these muscles are tight, that's what pulls down,
and that starts to pull your face down. So if
you release and relax the muscles in the neck and
(27:16):
the shoulders, well yeah, but you've got to massage it out.
I can't remember the name of this muscle, but you
have one on the right side and the left side
pair of muscle, got it, centrality preference muscle. You massage
that and it's actually quite painful. You have like if
they say it'll get easier, but mine is sort of
(27:39):
really tight and embedded into my neck. But if I
squeeze it, it gets loose and it feels better. But
that hopefully is releasing some of the muscles and relaxing
some of the muscles in my face as well. I
don't know that I see anything, but I feel better.
I feel relaxed, like I look forward to doing in
the morning and sometimes even do a nighttime route. And
(28:00):
I found all of these women on YouTube. There's all
these free videos, Like I was gonna subscribe to some
of this stuff, and I'm like, look at all this
content out here. It's so great. A lot of them
are in Japanese.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
So you just follow what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Yeah, But I'm thinking if I do this a lot,
by the end of it, I might know certain words
in Japanese like nick face knows.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Do you know any of them? Now? Not yet?
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Okay, But I'm saying if I'm consistent because I'm reading
the subtitle, yeah, and then I'm listening to what they're saying,
and if I hear it enough, you.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Might just accidentally pick up a language. Yes, a very
difficult language.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
This could be my super power one day if we
need a Japanese You never know, like in a time
of crisis, they'd.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Be like, who speaks Japanese? You're on a plane. You're
on a plane, there's emergency, and they're like, help, does
anybody speak Japanese?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
And you're like, I know, forehead.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Mustage if you jump up, but you literally are like,
I know.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
I know, relax, I know, lips, jowl, jaw line, ears.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
There are so many pressure points in the ears that help.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
I see this being really helpful for you.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I know lymph notes, you know or you will know.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
You don't know it.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yet, future me, well know, Like if there's ever a
situation where I need to suck Japanese. I might know
it because I am doing so many of these videos
and I gotta say they are so I'm not kidding.
I'm going to send you one and you're gonna do it.
(29:51):
Do it at night? But did you do it? Did
you do the did you have a five minute one
or the ten minute one?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Well, I didn't do it.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
You say it was a weekend and I said, well
you I asked. I think I asked you to send
it to me, and then I think I had to
get ready to go so when I have time, and
I was like, oh, I'll do it later, and I
never did it. So I don't know if it's five
or ten. But knowing me, if I want to start it,
I need the five minute. I like do skincare, but
I just like rub it on my face and go on.
I have the time and the definitely in the morning,
I have the time to do that.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
You should do it.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Is I have to do it, I've been I've been
listening to an audiobook though, so I don't want to are.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
You listening to because I'm listening to November ninth, So
what are you listening to.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Okay, so I never thought this would be me. You
would actually like this because you were a Hunger Games girl,
weren't you?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I was.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I'm listening to Fourth Wing. Have you heard about it?
Speaker 1 (30:39):
No? But I am very interested. Is this something that's popular,
right ya? How do I not know about it?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
I didn't know about it until two weeks ago and
a couple of people I work with recommended the book.
I didn't think anything of it, didn't really read what
it was about, downloaded it, started listening to it, and
then I was like, wait, this book about dragons. I
do not want to listen to this anymore. So I
texted my friends and was like, why did you not
tell me this about dragons? This is not my cup
of tea. However, they encouraged me to just stay with it.
(31:07):
It is very similar type vibe of Hunger Games. There's
just dragons involved, and it's not weird. I mean, it
is weird, but it's like fun.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Well, Hunger Games is a little weird. I mean kids
are like fighting for their lives. Well similar kind of odd.
This is a little similar, and I mean my November
ninth book I'm really liking. But they're they've gotten a
little older as the book progresses, but in the beginning
they're eighteen. You're not like relating and they're having like
a love scene. I don't like hearing, oh that all.
They're eighteen, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no no,
(31:37):
I have a daughter that's seventeen. I'm not listening to this.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Well, this book had I was very shocked by it.
They had a love scene in there too, and was audiobooks,
so it makes it even weirder. It was like twenty
I had it as fast forward it humans are dragons
with humans. There could be a future dragon. Wait, the
dragons did pro create. They didn't procreating the book, but
there was mention of them. I can't explain it because
(32:03):
it just sounds weird when I say except talking about dragons.
But they have some alone time and you get connected
to a dragon, so like you feel the feelings of
your dragon. So then they started feeling the feelings of
their dragons time. I'm not giving this book a good explanation.
It is really good and I'm hooked. And there's I
think three books in the third one just came out
(32:24):
and it sold out immediately, so people are loving it. Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
The Fourth Wing is a adult high romance fantasy or
romancey about dragons. Seeing adult high romance fantasy.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Okay, This book audiobook is like twenty seven hours long.
I probably got through seventeen hours before there was any
romance scene, so it's not a big part of the book.
It's just there is a heavy storyline of a romance.
But that makes me like the book, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Okay, I'm trying to see if my I'm a romanticy
mine's a novel.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Well, you know what that's different than what smut is.
Do you know what smut is? That's like a romance
book that is heavy on the romance writing romance.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
But what does smut stand for. It's going to mean something,
smut meaning smut, smut book meaning a smut book is
a book that contains explicit and graphic content, apparently whatever
the dragon was doing. The term smut can also be
used to describe other media that contains Oh yeah, okay,
I've heard of smut used in that way, but I
(33:34):
guess I just wasn't thinking about it as a smut book.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
But this is not a smut book. This just has
a love scene in it.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah, proclaim that from the top.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
I am.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
This is not a smut book. It's a sexual fantasy
book about dragons. I just want to clarify, Okay, I
just want to clarify that it took at least thirteen
hours before the first.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
For me.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Okay, it's good. I think you like it, and I
bet people listening a lot of them have read it
and they probably want you to listen to it and
give it a chance to If you like Hunger Games,
I just feel like you would enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
If you like centrality preference around dragons, you like this book. Okay, Yah,
you're funny. Well, I recommend November ninth, except for it's
a little weird that they're eighteen. It's a Calling Hoover book, which.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Oh oh, we haven't talked about this.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Well, I don't really know what. Did you see Candace
Owen's whole thing? Yes, I watched every second.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Oh I didn't. I just saw her talking about it
and was like, she's talking about this, this.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Must be like well, and she read the entire legal
report because she did, Yes, because that's what she does,
like she can understand all of that. And she said,
let me tell you, I mean and she gave very
strong opinions. She was very clear to or wise, I guess,
to make known that this is her own.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Opinion, opinions, not facts. Correct.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
I mean, but in a way she's saying what I'm
saying is facts because I just read it and she's.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Like, this is my opinion, legal doc baste in facts.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I mean, I believe what she was saying. So I
was very impressed with her breakdown.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
And what was her like overarching that.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Ryan Reynolds is behind all of this and he's having
a mental breakdown. Oh that Blake developed feelings for How
do people know that though? Because she read through all
the trints. She read through everything, and she's like, it's
obvious to me that there was feelings, text messages, different
other Yes. Oh, I don't know how many pages this
are legal or what all it is, like ninety pages
(35:41):
or something, and a lot of jargon that may be
us common folk don't understand. But she broke it down,
and I will say that I believe her. What she
was saying seems to be accurate. But I'm not going
to put all my eggs in one basket because I
believed a lot of different people throughout this process, and
(36:02):
you know, she even called that out too, of like,
if you're going to have strong opinions about something and
you haven't read the entire thing, then don't say it
on an airth sort of like, yeah, shame on some
of you that have spoken out about this in such
a confident way and you don't know all of the details.
And while she doesn't know them personally and what's going on,
(36:22):
she just is able to form a very educated opinion
based on what she has read and in a nutshell
to answer your question of what she was saying, is
that Blake and what's his face?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Justin Baldoni?
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Justin? There was feelings there and Ryan got wind of
it somehow learned of it and has taken control of
this thinking that he had the power to make Justin
just disappear out of Hollywood and that's not happening. And
(36:58):
now she's like, why she is saying he's having a
mental break is that if he knows what's in this paper.
So it's like, if you're a rational thinking person and
you know you have taken this too far, then you
likely just stop and you own whatever, and you're like,
you know what this is? What happened, here's where we
(37:18):
are now. But da da da da, because there's she said,
if they go to court, there is no way that
they will win. There is just absolutely no way. And
that it's it's she called it. There's an abuse word
but like a legal abuse. And now, gosh, I want
to get the word accurate. But I didn't even know
we were going to be talking about this, so I didn't
(37:39):
even bring it up. But what he is doing, if
if this is, if her theory is correct, what he's
putting Blake through with.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
This, he's putting everybody through too, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
It's it's really really sad. And I thought it was
kind of funny that she tagged him in the video, oh,
Ryan Reynolds.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Which is not going to help if he has had
a mental breakdown, that's not going to help you.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I don't think she care. I mean whatever, he's probably
tagged in like tons of everything.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Yeah, he's probably not looking at it. Hopefully he's not
looking at all that stuff. It's just that whole situation.
I think you're saying sad. It is sad. It's sad
from the beginning of this that movie. You read that book, right, Yes.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I read the book, loved it, saw the movie, loved it.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
I thought the movie was fine.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Yeah, I mean I didn't love it as much as
the book, but I mean that's usually before all this craziness,
So I mean I thought they did.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Like well, the craziness started with the premiere of the movie.
But I yeah, I tried to like just put that
in my mind because that book was so good and
it had the potential to be such an important, I
think piece for so many people. Because even reading it,
I mean I was like a ball of tears reading that.
And it's based off of I want to say that's
based off of Colin Hoover's mom's life or something similarsh
(38:52):
like loosely based on But it just is sad that,
like something that could have been so hopeful and helpful
and meaningful to so many people, now everybody's gonna remember
it as this, and if it really is based in
what I guess Kennis Oden's is saying, like, that's even
sadder that it's all trying to like cover up.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Just what about the next book? It begins that's.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Never They're never gonna make that movie, you really think,
I don't know, because Justin owns the rights to it.
Justin's character wouldn't be really in the second I didn't
read the second book.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I remember how we were thinking, like he was such
a dirt bag for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Well, I had a hard time with that though. Remember,
because I love him, like I've been a fan of him.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
What did you think of his twenty seven minute proposal
video or whatever he did for his wife?
Speaker 2 (39:38):
That was weird, but some people liked that kind of stuff.
I thought that was weird. But I loved his book
man enough. I listened to his podcast. He was on
you Need Therapy, and he was I don't know why
he agreed to be I mean, I shouldn't say that
because it's kind of putting myself down. But he's way
bigger than my podcast was, and he came on my
podcast to talk about that book. Was so gracious, was
(39:59):
so kind. I could tell he cared about that content.
So when I heard about this, I was like, oh no,
I like want to believe the best in him, but
I also can't just be blinded by the fact that
I've been a fan of his. So I was upset
when that first stuff came out of like, oh, maybe
I read this all wrong. I don't know. I feel
like I shouldn't even be saying anything on it because
(40:20):
I really don't even know what the facts are and
I haven't read those documents, probably should understand them.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Candace referred to Ryan as terrifying, unhinged, the true villain.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
It's not nice the way she put it.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
I was like, okay. Someone even commented I pulled. I
went to the Instagram post and said, well, first of all,
her caption for her video was Ryan Reynolds is terrifying.
Here is how it will end, and she gave her
theory on how it's gonna unfold. And then someone commented,
I literally could care less about anyone in Hollywood. The
Candace starts talking about somebody, and I'm all, like what.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
She does have a lot of conviction in the way
she talks. I guess I'm surely this is going to
be Well. My thought is Justin isn't going to want
to settle this. This is me. I know nothing about loss,
so take this with a grain of salt. I guess
my normal person thought would be if I was Justin,
I wouldn't want to settle this out of court because
I would want to clear my name. But if I
(41:14):
was Blake or Ryan, I would be like, let's clean
this up now, because I don't want people.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
To Well, apparently Justin's team they're ready to put up
an entire website with all the facts, like so that
people just go to the website and read it all
okay and like here, yeah facts, No printer. That's another thing.
The kids saying, apparently.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
You just thought of that, and I'm like that that's
kind of like, you know, it's witty.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yah yeah, yeah, no printer. Wow. So yeah, how did
we start talking about that?
Speaker 2 (41:49):
How did we get on that? Justin? Oh book, our
book Colling Hoover, Colling Hoover.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Yes, because I'm reading or listening to November ninth, and
I just I really love the concept of this book
so much.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
That is the concept eighteen year olds.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
I just don't like that they're eighteen, But what is
it they were like thirty? Well, I'm too nervous to
tell because what if I give away.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
You're not going to give away you might get shamed. Okay,
but there's dragons.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Involved in a dutshell, there's a couple.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Hold on, I don't understand why you can't because I'm.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
On the Bobby Bone Show, I am known to ruin things.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Okay, well what what what does the back of the
book say.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Well, okay, let me just pull it up. Well, it's
an audio I'm audio.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Which I don't understand why you could just be like,
it's a love story about a couple in high school.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
It's a love story. Okay, they met they were strangers,
but how they met is super cute. Okay, in a restaurant.
And she is insecure you'll learn in the book why
if you listen to it. But she was a beautiful
girl that was an actress. Then an accident happened and
she suddenly really insecure. Well, he's someone that sees her
for her and.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
She need to stop gosh giving to it.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Well, so then he's a writer, but he's eighteen, And
I'm like, he's eighteen.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
But he's a published writer.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
No, he's not published. Okay, yeah, but he ends up
getting anyway.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
I don't want to they do much. Okay, let me
see where does it say?
Speaker 2 (43:16):
What I can say you saying whatever comes into your head.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Background when I go to Amazon.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
I think that gives enough about the summary of the book.
So a love story.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Okay, Fallin meets Ben, an aspiring novelist, the day before
her scheduled cross country move. Their untimely attraction leads to
them spending Fallin's last day in la together, and her
eventful life becomes the creative inspiration Ben has always sought
for his novel. And then they come up they have
this really good novel idea.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
So that was.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
November ninth, and then they only meet up with each
other every November ninth. So like you, a year passes by,
but you don't have to listen to a bunch of
stuff in the ear. It'll be like next November ninth,
and then you you're drawn into what happens that day
and they're supposed to meet up. They don't have each
other's phone numbers, emails, nothing. They just have to meet
at the same place November nine. And every November ninth,
(44:09):
you're like, are they gonna meet? Is one of them
going to show?
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Wait, that's the boot show. It's just one day each year.
That's crazy. Authors just are so crazy to me, the
way that they can formulate a story around that. I
have another book wreck that doesn't have dragons in it,
called Daisy darker and it's a murder mystery. It's all
gonna say the ending. Blew my mind, blew my mind.
(44:33):
I don't understand how a writer can do. Like it's
a talent and a skill I'm afraid i'll never have.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
But don't you want to write a book? I can't
write a story like this that not a novel.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Yeah, like you would write a real I'm not creative enough.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
And it's just nonfiction self help type book.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
I don't know, I don't know. I don't like the
term self help. I guess informative, do you know.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
I saw Glennon Doyle. This is like just a clip
on Instagram that she must have been on somebody's podcast
and she said this, But it just stuck with me
about how oftentimes men will write books and it's always
put in the leadership section, and then women write books
and it's automatically put in the self help section because
men are leaders and women need help. You know, wait
(45:18):
that track, We're like this problem that needs to be
fixed and men just need to be like in up.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Yeah right, Well, I'm definitely not going to write a
leadership book, but now now I kind of want to.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Now you need to write something and just be like
I'm writing this and it's not going to be put
in self help.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Thank you was in the leadership section. Thank You.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Like nobody needs to be fixed here, is that the titles?
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Write that down?
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Write that down. Well, I'm not me. I'm not going
to write it. You know, Nobody needs to be fixed
here except for maybe Ryan Reynolds. Apparently he's spiraling because
some stuff going on.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Yeah, well I'm intrigued to see what happens with all that.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
I know, But I mean I'm thinking, like there's kids
you're spiraling, and we're not considering like all the different
variables and how they are intacted by this. And then
Justin has.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
A wife and kids.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Yeah, like this is just.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Like how did we get out of control? Wild times?
All right?
Speaker 1 (46:15):
Well wild times? Okay? Cal Where can people find.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
You on Instagram at kat van Buren
Speaker 1 (46:19):
And I'm at Radio Amy and we hope that you
are having the day you need to have by
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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